Chapter One:
Kono inochi no yume no naka ni - I
Utsukushii mama de Beautiful just like this.
***
She dreamed:
The moon
was full, haloed by ice refracting the pale, brittle light; obscured by barren
trees frozen over with ice. Small shards of ice fell from the windless,
frigid sky; cutting her when she breathed in too quickly and catching in her eyelashes
when she blinked. Her breath hung frozen in the air and she shivered, barefoot
on the frozen ground, and wrapped her arms around herself.
Far in the distance,
she could see two men, one in white and one in grey, talking as they stood on
a frozen lake. She squinted, recognizing one of them even from the distance.
"Yue?" she said,
frowning. She started at the other man, trying to place him, but his back
was to her. All she could see was that his hair was black and there was
a faint, almost invisible flare for a moment from the back of his hands.
She looked at
the black sky and realized the moon was gone.
*BREEEEEEEP
BREEEEEEEEEP BREEEEEEEEEEEEP*
The world exploded
and her eyes flew open.
*BREEEEEEEP
BREEEEEEEEEP BREEEEEEEEEEEEP*
"Mrweufhjsdfhghh..."
Sakura mumbled, and slapped at her alarm clock. She rubbed at her eyes and
shut them again, feeling disoriented. She shut her eyes tightly and burrowed
back into her blankets, shivering, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
***
"Oi!
Sakura!"
The young
woman startled slightly, and the jar she was reaching for slipped out of her
hands and landed on the edge of the counter, shattering.
Sakura winced.
/~Oops. Greeeee-at...~/
"Yeah?" she
said, knowing it was too late, and she was going to be hearing the sound she
knew so well--that of her brother laughing at her.
Touya smirked.
"Way to go, monster."
Sakura's
fists tightened. "Touya! I'm thirteen now! Isn't that getting old
yet?"
The smirk
widened. "Nope."
Calm.
Mature. She was not going to go over to Touya and kick him in the shin.
She was not. She was not. She was...
"Too slow,
Sakura."
Calm.
Mature. She was not going to scream. She was not going to scream.
She was not...
"While you're
standing there, the jam you dropped is making a lovely puddle on the floor.
Purple on white linoleum's a real statement.
"Oh, and love
the steam coming out of your ears. It works."
She gave up.
"TOU-YAAAAA!" Stop. Breathe. Bre...
"Oh, To-ya,
leave her alone."
"OK, OK."
Touya said, smiling and rolling his eyes good-naturedly at Yukito. Yukito
smiled at him gently and went over to Sakura and handed her a towel.
"Do you need
any help with that?"
Sakura smiled.
"No, I'm fine."
"And you're
late," Touya said. "That's what I came to tell you."
"I'm....hoeee!"
Yukito smiled.
"I'll finish cleaning for you, Sakura-chan."
"Thanks!"
she yelled, running for the door. She shot Touya a dirty look as she ran
by him, making sure she stepped on his foot as she did.
"Eerrmpfhh!"
Yukito watched
her leave with a gentle smile. "You really should be nicer to her," he
said to Touya after she was gone.
"It's too
much fun driving her crazy." Touya said, chuckling and flexing his bruised toe.
"To-ya..."
Yukito said reproachfully.
Touya gave
him an innocent smile. "What?"
***
Sakura ran
out the door, a piece of toast clutched in between her teeth. She sat
down and strapped on her rollerblades, still clutching the toast between her
teeth and thinking to herself, "oh, no, oh, no, oh no!" as she realized she
was going to be late on her first day of the new semester.
"Hoeee..."
She jumped
up and took off, cramming the dry /~Thank you *very* much, Touya~/ toast
in her mouth as she did so. OK. Time to go. Time to...
Her mouth
flew open and her eyes grew large, and all thoughts of going to school flew
out of her head. Slowly, almost not believing her eyes, she raised her
hands to her mouth.
"Sya-Syaoran-kun!"
"I was wondering
how long it was going to be before you noti---ummmmmph!" he finished as Sakura
hurled herself at him. He was knocked back several feet by the projectile
that was Kinomoto Sakura. "I missed you, too, Sakura."
She didn't
quite know when she had started crying, but here she was, doing it.
"Hey, hey,
stop that." Li said somewhat gruffly, mainly because he knew if she kept that
up, he'd be a walking waterspout himself, and that would just be a *wonderful*
way to start his new school.
"Why didn't
you tell me you were coming?" Sakura said after she finally pulled away from
him.
"Um.
I. Um. I wanted it to be a surprise." he said, ducking his head
slightly and feeling a blush on his cheeks.
***
"Surprise
my...mrrrrmmrrrppph..." Touya grumbled from the window, scowling.
"To-ya..."
"What?
Little creep needs to stay away from my baby sis..."
"To-ya...you
don't have a baby sister. Not since she was two."
Touya turned
and glared slightly. "You wouldn't kno..." Touya cut off before
he could completely get the word out. "Oh, Yuki. I'm sorry.
I...it was just a manner of speech...I..."
Yukito smiled
softly. "It's all right, Touya. I know."
Touya's shoulders
slumped slightly, and he wouldn't look at Yukito. "It's not all right,
Yuki. It's not fair."
Yukito put
a hand on Touya's arm. "I didn't say it was fair. I said it was
all right. There's a difference. Just let it go. It's all
you can do."
"Thanks, Yuki.
Salt on the open wound." he said sharply. Then he sighed. "Sorry. *Sorry.*
I'm in rare form today. You'd think I liked the taste of that foot in
my mouth."
"We're going
to be late ourselves if we don't leave soon." Yukito said, glancing at the clock.
"We have a morning class."
"Yeah, yeah.
I know. Do you want me to make a snack for you to take with you?"
"No, its all
right. I'm not that hungry, for some reason."
"... Sorry."
***
"I told you
I'd come back." Li said, still fighting a blush. Sakura was so excited
she was skating in circles around him as they walked.
"I know, but...you
should have told me!"
"Nn." he said,
shrugging and thinking to himself that her reaction had been worth it.
"I can't believe
you're actually here....how did you manage it?" she started.
"They couldn't
keep me there." he said. "And also...there's something strange happening
in Tokyo, and they wanted someone here. It's been building for a long
time. Since I wanted to come here, and they wanted someone to come...here
I am." A slight blush touched his face, since he knew he wasn't telling
Sakura the *whole* truth--after all, the Li family hadn't exactly wanted to
send him, since he was still disgraced over the whole ...thing... (as his family...graciously...referred
to it) with the Clow cards. So when he found out they were planning to send
someone and knowing he wouldn't stand a chance given the competition right then
to get out of Hong Kong, he'd packed a bag, then snuck out in the middle of
the night, leaving a note saying he'd be honored to accept the position of the
Li family representative, and by the way, he'd be staying in Tokyo this time.
...Yeah, he'd
keep that to himself...
"Strange in
Tokyo?" Sakura said, frowning. Li let out a sigh and shook his head.
"Can't you
feel it, Sakura? There's something happening. I know you must have
noticed all the earthquakes."
Sakura stopped
short and her face fell. "Yeah. Yeah. But...yeah." she said,
shivering slightly.
"Hey!
Don't get so down!" he said, wishing he'd never brought any of it up.
"Whatever that is, we'll worry about it later, OK?"
Sakura smiled.
"OK!"
***
Tomoyo was
waiting outside of the school. She saw the two of them, and a strange
look crossed her face for a split second before she smiled warmly at him.
Sakura didn't seem to notice it, and so Li decided he had been imagining things.
"Li-kun!" Tomoyo said in surprise. "You're back!"
"Yeah." Li
said, feeling oddly nervous. He would have dropped Sakura's hand, but
she had it in a grip so tight he was surprised his hand hadn't dropped off yet.
"I only just got back. I hadn't told anyone I was coming."
"You wanted
to surprise Sakura-chan! How romantic! Sakura-chan, that must have
been a nice surprise!"
Sakura grinned
and nodded, clutching Li's hand tighter.
"Sakura...I'm
beginning to lose the feeling in my fingers..."
"Waah!
Sorry!"
Li blushed.
"It's OK. Just...um...could you just loosen your grip a little?
I missed you, too."
"Hoeee!
Sorry!" Sakura said, easing her deathgrip on his hand.
"Thanks."
Li said, trying to hide his amusement and failing.
"What room
are you in, Li-kun?"
"Class B.
You?"
"Same one.
So is Sakura-chan."
Sakura didn't
even try to keep the dopey smile off her face. "Everyone's going to be
so glad to see you!" Li blushed again.
"Sakura-chan,
Li-kun, we should go inside now, since the bell's going to ring soon and we
have to find the classroom. We can all catch up at lunch."
"Good idea."
Li said, nodding. Sakura just grinned again, and dragged Li by the hand
to their classroom.
They walked
in to a familiar sound--Yamazaki mid-story.
"...Did you
know there's a human corpse buried under each and every one?"
"Really?
What for?"
"A very long
time ago, a mighty emperor didn't like the color of the blossoms. He declared
a fallen warrior should be buried under every single tree. Y'see, the
flower petals are really supposed to be as white as snow. But now the
petals are always that shade of pale pink, because of the warrior's blood.
The trees absorbs it, and it turns the petals...."
"Oh, you hush."
Chiharu said finally, rolling her eyes. "That is *wrong* and you know
it. Just stop."
"But it's tru--Li-kun!"
Yamazaki yelled. "You're back!" Li was suddenly surrounded, and
only saved when the bell rang.
***
Touya looked
over at Yuki and sighed to himself. ~It's going to take a brand-new
lunchbox to make up for this one...~
Yuki hadn't
said anything, of course, but it was obvious to Touya that he was still in a
foul mood. ~I really stuck my foot in it this time. Jeez.
Way to go, Kinomoto!~
The whole
problem was that Yuki hadn't said anything. He wasn't giving Touya the
silent treatment, technically. It's just that when they were in classes,
Yuki didn't talk to him or send him the hilarious little notes he usually did
when Yuki noticed Touya was starting to fall asleep. And after the first
morning class, Yuki didn't talk to him other than about the class or about the
assignment. He didn't comment on what a pretty day it was, didn't smile
his smile and suggest they go get a snack at a dining hall before heading their
second morning classes, didn't do *anything* but quietly gather his books then
quietly walk next to him.
Yup.
Yuki was pissed at him.
When they
got back home, Yuki had gone straight to the room they had shared since Yukito's
grandparents had died and he had moved in, saying he was going to do his homework
now. Didn't stop by the kitchen or anything, just went straight to the
room. Touya wondered if he should leave well enough alone, then frowned.
No. He didn't like Yuki being mad at him for any length of time.
Besides, they normally did their homework together, and he really saw no reason
not to continue that trend while he wracked his brain trying to figure out what
to do.
When he got
there, Yuki barely looked up. Touya winced to himself, then sat down and
pulled out his books. He started trying to study, but couldn't concentrate
very well.
~Gee, I
wonder why,~ he thought sarcastically. He gave up for a little while
and looked outside, and suddenly his face brightened. It was an absolutely
beautiful day. It was far to nice a day to spend cooped up inside trying
to do physics with Yuki mad at him, especially since the nice days weren't going
to be lasting too much longer. "I'll be back." he said suddenly.
Yuki looked up, slightly surprised, then went back to studying.
***
Yukito heard
the door open about fifteen minutes later, and glanced up.
"Come on,
Yuki," Touya said with a wide grin, holding out his hand. "We're going
out."
Yukito blinked.
"But we have to...where are we going?" He just didn't have the heart to
stay very mad at Touya for very long, especially when Touya was smiling like
that. When he was smiling at him like that, it was so easy to forget everything.
...It was
so easy to make all new memories to replace the ones he had lost. He could
make new memories with Touya, even though he would never be able to now with
his grandparents.
The grin on
Touya's face widened, oblivious to the sudden downward spiraling of Yukito's
thoughts.
"You'll see.
Come on, let's go."
Yukito felt
a small answering smile come to his face almost despite himself, and he took
Touya's hand.
It was, after
all, very hard to stay very mad at To-ya for very long.
***
Lunch arrived,
and Li found himself nearly pounced upon and dragged outside by Sakura and Yamazaki,
Tomoyo and Chiharu following closely behind.
"So what have
you been doing these past three years? How was China?" Yamazaki asked,
grinning.
"I was in
Hong Kong." Li said carefully, and glower starting to appear on his face.
"It's *not* China. Not yet, anyway. No matter what the 'One Country Two
Systems' says."
Yamazaki backpedaled
away from what he'd just said as quickly as he could. "Hooo-kay, then...um...so,
how was Hong Kong?"
Li shrugged.
"Like it always is. Busy and crowded."
Yamazaki snorted.
"Nothing like Tokyo, no..."
Li blinked,
then gave a rare smile. "True, but Tokyo has things in it that just aren't
in Hong Kong."
He gave Sakura
a shy smile before realizing he had done it, and blushed and looked away as
soon as he did. Without intending to, he looked at Tomoyo when he looked
away from Sakura, and for a second...for second, he could have *sworn*...
He brushed
it off. Tomoyo--sweet, gentle, quiet, polite Tomoyo-chan--just wasn't
capable of looking at someone like he had just thought she had looked at him.
***
"Where are
we going?"
Yukito knew
that Touya grinned then, even if he couldn't see it. "You'll see.
Just hang on tight. The light's about to change."
The red light
switched back to green then, and Yukito's arms tightened around Touya instinctively
as the motorcycle took off. Yukito watched the city go by them, wondering
to himself just where Touya was taking them. He had at first thought they
were going to the park--after all, To-ya had packed them a huge lunch, but they
had headed right past the park, into Tokyo.
~Wait--does
he mean to take us to Ueno?~ Yukito wondered. He looked around again,
and realized that was exactly where they were heading. ~Ueno. I
haven't been here in a while. To-ya never liked it much for some reason,
so we don't come here very often, even though I always loved to come when the
sakura trees were in bloom.~
When they
arrived, Touya looked at him and grinned again. "So find a place you want
to spread out."
Yukito nodded.
"I know they aren't blooming, but I'd like to go near the sakura trees."
~Was it my
imagination, or did his jaw clinch for a minute? That had to be my imagination.~
"That's cool."
"Do you want
me to carry the picnic basket?"
"No, no, I've
got it." Touya said. "I should be able to carry it most of the way."
Yukito started
walking, Touya beside him. Yukito looked around as he did, enjoying the
peacefulness of the place in the midst of the bustle of Tokyo. ~I wonder
why Touya never liked Ueno. I don't think he's ever told me.
~I wonder
if he told me, and it's one of the things I forgot.~
"Oi.
Why are you frowning up again?"
Yukito startled.
He forgot, sometimes, how everything he felt was always written on his face.
He smiled again, even though it felt somewhat fake.
~Maybe that's
because it is.~
"It's nothing.
Just thinking. And let me carry that. You look kind of out of breath."
Touya nodded
and handed their lunch to Yukito. "Thanks." He sighed. "I
still forget how easily I get tired out. It's a lot better than it used
to be but...eh, well." He shrugged.
"There." Yukito
said, pointing. "That looks like a nice, quiet spot."
***
After he ate,
Yukito stretched out in the sun and fell into a light doze. Touya watched
him for a minute, then stared off into space.
He hadn't
been in Ueno in what felt like years, even though it hadn't been any where near
that long. He hadn't much liked Ueno, because off all the things he had
felt in the park. But now...it was just a park. Nothing else.
He didn't feel *anything* here, and he felt the nothing so strong he began to
wonder if he'd ever actually felt anything at all--he began to wonder how it
was that he had ever felt something.
He frowned.
He didn't like where his thoughts were going. And...he didn't like that
feeling, that there was nothing. Somehow, it felt more wrong than anything
else had been. And it felt like a slap in the face. It felt like...
~It feels
like maybe this isn't temporary.~
Touya
startled. ~That's it, isn't it, Kinomoto? You always kinda thought
it was temporary. You thought that eventually, everything would come back.
But it's not coming back, is it? You'll never be able to sense anything again,
will you?~
~No.
There's no way it's forever. It can't be.~
He stood up.
There was one way to know for certain. There was one thing that, if he
was ever going to be able to sense anything, ever, he would sense now.
The way there
was ingrained forever in his memory.
Slowly, but
with certainty, Touya began to walk.
***
"How long
are you going to be staying in Tokyo, Li-kun?" Tomoyo asked, laying her chopsticks
down gracefully as she spoke. Her question seemed innocent enough, but
Li found himself frowning for a moment.
"I'm planning
on staying for good this time." he said.
"Ahh.
Your family didn't object?"
"No." he said,
doing his best to suppress a blush.
Sakura grinned.
"You mean it? You really are staying forever?"
Li nodded.
Tomoyo picked
up her chopsticks, staring at her food very intently and carefully not looking
at Li.
"Where's Rika-chan?"
Li asked after a minute, realizing he hadn't seen Rika since they all went to
lunch.
Chiharu blushed
slightly. "She...um...had lunch plans already. She said to say she's
sorry, but she'll be here tomorrow."
"Ahh, OK."
Li said, nodding.
"So why did
you come back to Tokyo, Li-kun?" Tomoyo asked just as polite.
"A lot of
things. There was some family business here, and I wanted to leave after
the changeover." He blushed again. "And....and like I said...there
are some things in Tokyo that just aren't in Hong Kong."
Yamazaki sighed.
"Yeah. Like earthquakes. Man, did you hear about Shibuya?
Tokyo's starting to fall apart bit by bit."
Tomoyo nodded.
"My mother's office building was nearly destroyed. It's still standing,
but just barely. The office got shut down, and so my mother's about to
go out of the country to work in another branch office in Paris."
Li frowned.
"Are you moving to France? Or are you going to be staying by yourself?"
Tomoyo shook
her head. "When she goes, I'm going to move in with Sakura-chan for a
while."
Tomoyo gave
Li another strange look, and Li couldn't quite place it. If it had been
*anyone* else, he would have said it was slightly...triumphant...? But
this was *Tomoyo*.
"Why didn't
you go to France with your mother, Tomoyo-chan?" Li asked, curious.
A tiny little
smile touched the girl's face. "As you said before, Li-kun. 'There
are some things in Tokyo'..."
Sakura suddenly
grinned and leaned over and hugged Li. "I still can't believe you're here!"
Li turned
bright red, but gave Sakura a quick hug back. "Neither can I." ::Or
members of my family.::
He looked
away from her, trying to get his blush under control, and found himself looking
at Tomoyo again. And to see Tomoyo-chan giving him...that *look* just...it
wasn't making sense.
"Tomoyo,"
Li began, somewhat nervously. "Is something wrong? I mean, you keep…I
mean…" he trailed off, not quite sure how to finish or even what he was trying
to say, a faint blush on his cheeks.
For a brief
moment, something passed through Tomoyo's eyes, and then was gone. And she smiled.
"I *am* sorry, Li-kun. I really am. My mind was ...somewhere else.
It won't happen again."
Tomoyo gave
him another peaceful smile, and Li felt his shoulders relax, deciding it had
all been his imagination.
***
Touya looked
up at the sakura tree. He remembered that day. He remebered it every time he
saw the tree. Sakura had gotten lost; he had gone looking for her, and found
her...and that man....under the tree. He had never had chills like that before
in his life, and the feeling that there was something of unconsciousable evil
surrounding Sakura. His only thought had been to get her away and quickly, before
it was too late for either of them. He had felt the tree's evil from almost
the instant he had stepped foot in Ueno; only the knowledge that--somehow--Sakura
had gotten near it had made him get as close to it as he had. He had hoped to
never see the tree again. Whenever he had been in Ueno Park, no matter what
for, he had never gotten anywhere near it.
Until he lost
his power. And so here he was, standing in front of it.
Waiting. Waiting
for...something. Anything.
~Nothing.~
Three years.
It had been three years. But he never got used to it, and he was beginning to
wonder how he ever would, because now he knew he would have to.
There was
a footstep behind him. He turned his head sharply. "Yuki?"
"Are you about
ready to go, To-ya?" Yukito asked, frowning slightly, and staring at the tree
Touya was standing in front of. Something made him feel....cold.
And frightened. For some reason, the way the sakura petals--~At this time
of year? Why is it still blooming?~--swirled around Touya...it was insane;
it was as if the tree was a cogniscent thing and as if the tree *wanted* Touya,
and it made Yukito feel cold and afraid, as if this *thing* wanted to take his
To-ya away from him.
~N-no.~
The thought came desperately, directed irrationally at that unnatural *thing*
Touya was standing under. ~N-no. H-he's mine. N-no.~
And Yukito suddenly felt very afraid, as if the tree had answered back to him
by the way the blossoms swirled again, obscuring Touya from his view.
"T-Touya.
Could you...could you come over here? Away from...away from that tree?
I don't know why but...I just have a bad feeling about it. Please come
away from it. Please."
A strange,
pained look that he tried to hide crossed Touya's face, and Yukito knew that
somehow he had said something as painful for Touya as what Touya had said earlier
that day had been for him.
"Touya...?"
he began, not certain how to go from there, and still irrationally afraid of
the...*thing* Touya was standing under. It wasn't a tree. It looked
like one, but it *wasn't*. He didn't know what it was, but he wanted to
get Touya as far from it as possible, irrational as that feeling was or not,
and make sure Touya was never near it ever again.
"Let's go,
Yuki." Touya said, and closed his eyes. "I'll explain later."
A spray of
cherry blossoms followed Touya as he walked away, and Yukito felt very cold.
***
"So where
are you staying, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked, still looking at him as if she
couldn't believe he was actually there.
Li shrugged.
"Same as last time. I have an apartment provided by my family."
Sakura suddenly
glared. "Wait--you aren't staying by yourself again!"
Li nodded
as his raised his chopsticks to his mouth.
"No no no
no NO." Sakura said, shaking her head. "You are *not*. No."
"Sakura..."
he began, holding the food right before his lips. "I'll be all right.
I lived by myself before."
Sakura's glare
deepened and Li nearly dropped his chopsticks. "Yeah, and do you remember
when you got so sick you couldn't make yourself food? What would you have
done if Touya hadn't sent me over with food? Huh? What?"
"Sakura..."
he tried again.
"No.
You're only thirteen. You shouldn't be by yourself. No. We
have plenty of room at my place. You can stay with us, too."
"Ummm....Sakura...don't
you think you should ask your fa..."
Sakura glared
at him again, and Li decided it was safer to pop the rice into his mouth and
chew than it was to even bother just then.
***
Yukito sat
down at the desk, staring at Touya, who had laid down on his futon, one large
hand over his eyes. "It's just strange, Yuki." Touya finally said after
a long moment. He knew Yukito was waiting form him to talk, but it took
him a while to gather his thoughts. When they had gotten home, Yukito
had shuffled Touya into their room and asked him what had happened. Yukito
was still pale, and Touya knew that whatever he had once been able to sense
around the tree, Yuki had been able to sense now. "All my life...my whole
life, I've always sensed things. Always. Even when I didn't want
to. But it was normal for me. 'Oh, there's another guy with a hole
in his chest.' 'Oh, there's a shikigami.' 'That little girl never
got home, and she's never going to, is she?' 'Man, what is *up* with that
one frickin' cherry tree in Ueno?!!?'"
Touya continued
talking, even though he didn't miss the small shiver that ran up Yuki's spine,
or the way the smaller man wrapped his arms around himself for a moment, at
the mention of the tree.
"...There
was some weird stuff, yeah, but it was *normal*.
"But now...I
dunno, Yuki. Something's not right. I don't know why. Something
feels like...it feels like there's something missing. There's something
not right. Like everything's...flat now. I didn't realize how much
until today, when I went to Ueno. That's why I was at that tree. What
you sensed around it is what I used to be able to. I don't...feel anything
around it anymore. But there's still something there."
He left the
rest unsaid, and Yukito didn't say anything for a long moment. Then: "I'm
sorry, Touya."
"Oi.
What are you apologizing for?" Touya said somewhat sharply, sitting up and looking
straight at Yukito. "This isn't your fault."
"Yes, it is.
You gave it up for me." Yukito said, looking down at his hands.
Touya lifted
Yukito's face so the smaller man was looking at him. "Yeah. And
I'd do it again without a second thought, and don't you forget it, either.
You mean a hell of a lot more to me than being able to sense things ever could."
he finished, his voice somewhat gruff, and a faint pink tingeing his cheeks.
Yukito looked
up and a slow smile warmed his face. But the smile never reached his eyes;
his eyes were still troubled and self-reproaching, and he looked away.
"Yuki." Touya
said. Yukito raised his eyes again. "I've said it before, and I'll
say it again until you believe me. Yeah, I gave something up. But
I gave it up to keep the person I love by me forever, and I'd do it again. Isn't
that what love is, after all? And I've loved you since almost the first
time I met you."
Yukito blinked
to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. His face crumpled then from
the attempt. "I can't...I can't remember when I met you. I can't
remember when I fell in love with you."
"Oh, Yuki."
Touya said softly, and enfolded Yukito in his arms. "I'm so sorry."
"There's so
much that's just gone...my grandparents. I only have a year and a half's
worth of memories of my grandmother, and only two years of my grandfather.
I can't remember anything with them...all the stories they would tell me, of
when I was little...it was like it was a stranger. It was like I was living
with strangers. Strangers I loved, but strangers. And when they
died...they didn't feel real to me. The only thing that feels real to
me is you...your family...but I don't remember meeting anyone but Sakura-chan.
There's absolutely nothing before meeting Sakura-chan." Yukito pulled
away and began wiping his cheeks quickly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't
be feeling sorry for mys..."
"And why not?"
Touya said, his voice sharp again. "It's not fair, none of it. And
it's not right that you should try to act like it's OK. You're allowed
to be upset over all of this. You lost a hell of a lot more than I did,
Yuki."
"I'm grateful
just to still be here, To-ya." Yukito said with a smile, trying to deflect Touya's
growing anger at the whole situation.
"That doesn't
mean you can't get upset. Or that you can't try to do something about
it."
"To-ya...?"
Touya's eyes
were suddenly far away. "Y'know, I wonder. I wonder if... come on,
Yuki." Touya said, jumping up and pulling Yukito with him. "I think we
need to go have a chat with that little walking stuffed animal that started
this whole mess."
***