Finally... Chapter 3 up! Gomen! Really sorry for the slow update. Been
really busy.
Yue: Thanks to ShuHui for reviewing... even though I forced her into it ^_^;;;
Vae: thanks for reviewing, Dark Magician lady!!! I'm so glad u think I'm cool (YEAH!!! *dances a jig around the room* ALL BOW TO ME!!!). and that our story's cool too! Yue and I are schoolmates writing this thing, so we take turns writing. All the funny parts are mine.
Yue: HEY!!!!!
Vae: kiddin, just kiddin. You know I think that your writing is really good... 'newayz, hope u like this chap!
(Yue: Nah. you're the better writer.)
Oh yes, and to Katana Shinzo, I'm not telling who Koganei likes!! You'll find out anyway. *grins and sticks out tongue* but thanks for saying our fic is funny and awesome! I hope you won't be disappointed with this chapter! Any pairing you like in particular for Koganei? Or anybody else? Feel free to ask!
Yue: hmph. Anyway, thanks for reviewing too, ShinigamiD! ^o^ *hugs back* How ya doin? Erm... *sweatdrop* I wouldn't be too sure about the lemon. coz if you still remember the /interesting/ experience we had last time with lemon writing... -.-
*****IMPORTANT*****
Vae: we planned on making FY fight with FoR... so if it's only FoR, we might have to create new groups. (Then we'll definitely ask for your help, dark magician lady!) Some people want us to add FY, some don't. so we shall see how many reviews we get telling us if they want it or not! Then we'll decide... *hint, hint*
(pause)
ok, forget about the hinting. REVIEW EVERYONE!!! And feel free to ask for any pairing... there's a neon-joker one coming up, by request of the wonderful cherie! :) yeah!
Anyway, we shall bore you no further with our crap. On with the story! And we sincerely hope you'll like this chapter, though I find it too... well, corny and lame. We did our best! Feel free to give comments!
P.S. Read Darke Angel's original fics at www.fictionpress.net! Yeah!!! Read "Binding Differences" and flame her if she doesn't update. so cruel rite...
================prologue to Chap 3==============
Weird Voice: Hi! Yes, it's me again, having recovered from a not so nice experience of being burnt to a crisp... ahem, excuse me for a minute... *throws daggers at a picture of Kurei who already looks like a porcupine* Anyway, in the last chapter, Vae managed to find the Hokage, glomping Recca, Koganei and Mikagami at the same time...
Recca, Koganei, Mikagami: *recall painful memory and wince*
Weird Voice: So now, let's move on to see what's happening with Yue and the others...
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
(an hour later)
Yue: *still throwing confetti around*
Raiha: Anou... Yue-san...
Yue: *a bit /too/ cheerfully* Yes?
Raiha: Well... If I were you, I would stop throwing confetti around. It's dirtying the place you know.
Yue: But there are no cops around here right? So I guess I can litter as much as I want. *whistles* No corrective work order. XD *throws even MORE confetti*
Raiha: *sweatdrop* Actually, there /are/ cops...
Yue: *stops in her tracks, falls flat on her face, and ends up with a mouthful of dirt and a deformed face* WHAT?!
Kurei: In fact, I see one heading here now...
(Saitou /we do not own Rurouni Kenshin/ walks past the trio.)
Yue: *slaps forehead* Damn, I forgot HIM...
(Saitou stops, glances at the rubbish, then looks at Yue.)
Yue: ARGH!!! Um... *looks around desperately*
Saitou: YOU! *takes out his sword and points at Yue menancingly*
Yue: WAHHHHHH!!!!! *wails and goes down on her knees* NOOO... don't put me in prison. I'm too young to go to prison... I promise I'll never never ever litter again.
Raiha & Kurei: ......
Saitou: ... What the - ?! What's that about putting who in prison? I was just trying to ask you whether you have seen Himura Kenshin.
Yue: *heaves a /huge/ sigh of relief* Phew... then why did you point that sword at me?
Saitou: If I didn't, would you tell me anything? Oh hey~ now that you've mentioned it, didn't you know that you're not allowed to litter?
Yue: Kuso... Doushiyouuu?! *sudden idea pops up in her head* Look!!! Kenshin! *points finger to somewhere behind Saitou*
Saitou: *turns around frantically* Where? Where?
Yue: *grabs Raiha and Kurei* Ikuzo!!!
(The trio run away, or rather, Yue is dragging them away, leaving a trail of smoke behind)
(15 minutes later.)
Yue: *pants* Okay... I think we ran far enough. He shouldn't be able to catch up at this rate.
Kurei: Kami-sama, why did I ever agree to follow this crazy girl?
Yue: Hey! *death glare x 1000* Nandato? You big, ugly, masked face, long fingernailed, morbid -oops that was a compliment-, horrible laughter, slimy haired *censored*.
Raiha: *pulls out katana and points at Yue* No one insults Kurei-sama in front of me!
Kurei: *voice dangerously quiet* I dare you to repeat what you said again... *death glare x 100000000*
Yue: *whimpers* Ok...ok... I take that back... *mutters* Kuso. First Saitou's sword, now Raiha's sword... Am I jinxed or what? I mean, yeah, I like swords - provided they are not pointing at me... and especially not when they are one centimetre away from stabbing my heart. And the worst part is I get my favourite bishounen pointing them at me... *cries* I waaaaaant myyyyy MOMMMMIEEEEEE!!!
Kurei: *stuffs fingers in ears* I swear, that if I hang around this.this crazy person any longer, I'm going to go DEAF anytime!
Raiha: *cheerfully* Oh, don't you worry, Kurei sama, I've got... *rummages in pocket* TA-DAA! Earplugs!
Kurei: ...... *in a deadpan tone*wow. That's going to be so helpful, Raiha.
Yue: *glances at watch* ARGH!!! It's so late already? Gosh, we better start finding Ura Uruha now...
Raiha: =_=' And who's fault was it that we wasted so much time? *glares*
Yue: *sweatdrops* Ehehe....hehe...
Kurei: Well, that's not my problem. *crosses arms over chest* We don't need anyone else...I can fight Recca all by myself. Humph.
Yue: *rolls eyes* Yeah, sure, I seemingly recall some very arrogant person saying that he would beat Recca but ended up rolling on the floor like a burnt crisp. Hah. Do it again, shall we -
Raiha: Shut up, Yue. I repeat - NO ONE INSULTS KUREI SAMA IN FRONT OF ME.
Yue: *pouts* Why must you be so mean to me? My life already sucks!
Audience: Because we all don't like you.
Yue: *glares* Yeah. Laugh at me, won't you? And I'll make sure you die horrible deaths.
Audience: *indignantly* Hey! Quit threatening us with that! Is all that you think about death? What happened to your morals?
Yue: Morals? What morals? I don't have any and don't have to think about any. My characters are happy if they actually /live/ till the last page.
Audience: *mutters* I seriously doubt I would like to read any of your other stories.
Yue: Yeah. I'm sure as hell you wouldn't. You undignified people wouldn't *know* how to appreciate it. I mean, it's hard to, with a brain that size of yours... Wait, do you even /have/ one? Or is your head too stuffed with cotton wool? Anyway, I don't have time now to pick a fight with you brainless gits. Wait till I get Ura Uruha. We'll settle our scores another - YIKES! *screams as someone comes flying towards her*
Fujimiya Ran (we don't own Weiss Kreuz): TAKATORI!!! SHI-NE!!!! *holds sword up, preparing to strike*
Yue: What the @#($&(#)? I'M NOT TAKATORI!!!! STOP POINTING THAT DAMNED SWORD AT ME!!!!
Ran: *blinks* Oh right, you're not Takatori. Gomen, made a mistake... it's just that you look a lot like that senile old b*stard... *raiha and kurei snigger, then mutter among themselves about how "the other girl looks much worse" and start sniggering again*
Yue: *dazedly* That's the third sword I'm getting today... This is crap... *mutters*
Audience: *whispers* It's lucky she doesn't realise who she has bumped into or poor Ran will get glomped...
Raiha: Erm. We're sorry. We were just looking for someone. We'll be on our way now. Bye! *drags the dazed Yue away, Kurei follows*
(10 minutes later)
Yue: *still recovering from shock* Three swords...
Kurei: She doesn't seem quite all right to me. Damn. How are we going to find the Ura Uruha in this state?
Raiha: Well, I vaguely remember that the authors of this fic seem to like yelling for them. Should we try that? It'll be more convenient for us.
Kurei: Look Raiha, I might look stupid but I'm definitely not a brainless git. And I have witnessed enough yelling scenes to know that this is the worst thing to do when finding people in AnimeLand. Although the consequences might only apply to authors. Or maybe it only works for authors. I forgot.
Yue: Three swords... thrreeee swooorddsss...
Raiha: Well... Then, my lord, as your loyal and faithful servant, I shall attempt to call the Ura Uruha out myself. And take the brunt of the attack. Don't worry, I'll protect you if anything happens.
Yue: *blinks* *awakes from trance* Heyyyyy~~~ Did I just miss some Yaoi scene?? *evil grin* *says in a lovesick manner* Don't worry, my love, I will protect you with my life... Aww...
Raiha: *blushes* SHUDDUP. I'm STRAIGHT ok? My love is Fuuko.
Yue: Really? You sure???? ^_________________________^
Raiha: Y-yyyes!
Kurei: ......
Yue: Oh. *looks disappointed* I thought the story was finally picking up. Did I mention how much I loooooooooooooooooove Yaoi? *starts prancing around and singing* Yaoi is my life... Yaoi is my everything.... Yaoi is the beesssttt-
Raiha: *cuts in* That's enough already. Now can we start finding the Ura Uruha? We've wasted so much time!
(Yue writing ends *here* and Vae writing starts *here*)(insert claps and cheers and loud catcalling *here*)(Vae starts bowing *here*)(rotten tomatoes and eggs and goodness knows what hit her *here*)
ignore that last paragraph.
Yue: Alright! Yaoi! Let's go! Yaoi! Who are we looking for? Yaoi!
Raiha: At this rate, yaoi is going to be put down in my dictionary as a word that roughly means the same thing as 'shit and damn and curse it to hell'...
Kurei: Language, Raiha language. My ninjas must be of a refined higher class... like me. *preens himself*
Raiha: Gomennasai, Kurei-sama. *whips out dictionary and reads from it* Is 'faeces which can be explained as the solid waste matter from the bowels and can be called excrement...
*flips to the 'd' section of the dictionary*
and damnation and condemnation...
*flips to the 'c' part*
and cause evil, harm, destruction and pain to something
*flips to the 'h' part*
so that it descends into...
*starts reading again*
the utmost depths of the place believed in some religions to be the home of devils and of wicked people after death or a state or place of great suffering or wickedness, a very unpleasant experience'
*shuts the dictionary* better?
Kurei: not much, actually. Though I am glad to see that you are intelligent enough to check the dictionary.
Raiha: well, in that case, I shall try my utmost to refrain from repeating that past mistake, but, no offence meant, THAT THING REALLY TRIES MY NERVES!!!
Yue: *indignantly* Hey, I'm not a thing, yaoi! I'm a person, yaoi! A very nice person, yaoi!
Audience: Yeah, right.
Raiha: Why are you going 'yaoi' at the end of every sentence?!
Yue: well, it's like chichiri's 'no da' yaoi! And we don't own Fushigi Yuugi, yaoi! If Chiri can say 'no da' at the end of every sentence, then why can't I say 'yaoi', yaoi?
Kurei: I have a brilliant idea that may save our sanity, my faithful ninja.
Raiha: *excitedly* even better than my earplugs?
Kurei: *solemnly* Even better than your earplugs.
(the two of them whisper while yue tries to eavesdrop and fails miserably)
Raiha: Brilliant! I'll take the bottom, you take the top!
Kurei: Looking forward to it.
Yue: o.O What? Whose top and whose bottom, yaoi? Look guys, if you really wanna well. do *that*, you can just ignore my presence, yaoi. Go ahead. Oh wait. but then I'll have to change the ratings. But *perks up* It's worth it, yaoi~! ^________________________^
Raiha and Kurei: what? *blinks... then realization dawns as they remember how hentai Yue's mind is* ARGH!!!!!
*audience oohs and aahs appreciatively as the two bishounen pounce on Yue (NOOOO!!! NOOOO!!! I WANT MY MOOOOMEEEE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE - ) and tie her up, Raiha binding her legs and Kurei tying her hands and gagging her. Then everybody points at the girl and joins in the fiendish laughter at the miserable author's pathetic state.* *no offense meant, yue.*
Yue: M'm mmmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm!!! Mm mmmm mm!!! mmm'mm mmm mm mm mmmmm!!! (translation: I'm gonna get you for this!!! I mean it!!! You'll die in my hands!!!)
Raiha: Any idea what she's saying?
Kurei: No. Thank Anzai.
Audience: she's threatening us all!
Kurei: well, it's not very impressive or threatening, is it, what with her being tied up and all.
Raiha: I fully agree, Kurei-sama. Your plans are always the best!
Kurei: Why, thank you, my ninja.
*the two look at each other and crack up in mad laughter*
Yue: MMMM MMMM MMM MMMM MMMM!!! MMMM MMM'MM MMMMMM MMMM!!!! (translation: wait till Vae gets here!!! Then you'll regret this!!!!)
Kurei: Oh, yes. The other idiot girl author.
Raiha: uh-oh... she's even worse than this one!
Kurei: I realize that! She's terrible! I'd rather deal with this one than her any day!
Raiha: *cringes* I hate to think what she'll do if she sees what we did to this one... Rumour has it that she has a collection of axes which she uses often. VERY often.
Kurei: . *wincing as his over-active morbid imagination supplied him with images*
Raiha: what do we do, o Kurei-sama? Be killed by Vae or be killed by Yue? I don't want to die yet!!! I haven't done anything with Fuuko-chan!!!
Kurei: oh, that was a really bad image, Raiha! Really, really bad. I /so/ did not need that image, Raiha. Really. That's disgusting. Coming from /her/ I wouldn't be surprised, but you? (Yue: But it was better than the top and bottom one, was it not? ^_~ Vae: Oh be quiet, you.)
(A/N I'm sure u readers out there will understand what I meant... ^_____________^ just to let u noe, I'm not the hentai one. Yue and some other friends I noe are much more hentai... they keep reading nc-17 lemons... not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...) (Yue: Actually, it's NC21. *evil grinz*) (Vae: hentai)
Yue: MMPH. MMPH. (this means Ha. Ha. Dunno why she's laughing - or at least trying to - when she's in such a fix... oh well.)
Raiha: I think we'd better get Aoi here, so that she won't kill us that badly for not finding the Ura Uruha and wasting time... though it's not our fault... and whose fault is it, class?
Audience: HER FAULT!!! *points at a red-faced Yue*
Raiha: Very good, very good! Now let's see... *whips out Uruha Cell Phone - One Time Use only! Call 4444 and reach the Uruha Phone network without annoying waiting times!! Get your phone today! - and opens it*
(Silence.)
Kurei: You... have a Uruha Cell Phone.
Raiha: Yep!
Kurei: You have a *Uruha Cell Phone*.
Raiha: That's right.
Kurei: *You* have a Uruha Cell Phone.
Raiha: Uh huh...
Kurei: You. Have. A. Uruha. Cell. Phone.
Raiha: Anything wrong, Kurei-sama? *feeling a bit scared now*
Kurei: *in a cold, deadly tone* We could have saved our sanity and time if you had taken the phone out at the beginning instead of wandering around with this... with this... with this *bug*. But noooo... you have to wait till I dirty my hands by touching her before you take the phone out!
Raiha: I'm sorry, really, Kurei-sama! Gomennasai! Onegai, give me another chance! I would have taken it out sooner... if I had remembered...
Kurei: Forget it. JUST CALL ALREADY!!!
Raiha: *Nodnod* ok, ok! *Dials 4444* Hello?
Operator: Hello! You have reached the Uruha Phone Network! Name the Uruha you want to find!
Raiha: Aoi.
Operator: Hai! Just hold on a second!
Raiha: ok!
(one second)
(one second times sixty which equals to one minute)
(one minute times sixty which equals to one hour)
(one hour times three which equals to half of a quarter of a day)
(isn't this fun, we're learning how to tell the time.what a great achievement!)
finally...
Operator: Hello!
Raiha: *snores*
Operator: HELLO!!!
Raiha: what? What? *jerks awake and looks around frantically* I'm awake! I'm awake! Hey~ you said no waiting time, and you were gone for three hours!!!
Operator: I'm sorry! That was due to unforseen problems. But here's Aoi- sama now! Thank you for using Uruha Phone Network!
Aoi: Hello? Whoever that is, just want to tell you never use a Uruha Phone. They suck.
Raiha: ...... -_-;
(Kurei and Yue have both gone to sleep long ago)
Aoi: hello?
Raiha: Yeah, hi. Listen, there's gonna be another UBS and we're gonna fight against Recca and the others and everything. Wanna join? Kurei is in, the Kuu are in, and I'm sure Recca and them will join too, being the violence- loving idiots we all are. And I'd advise you to join, cuz there are two power-crazy girl author wannabes who will torture you if you don't.
Aoi: Since you put it that way, I guess so.
Raiha: Can you come to see Kurei now? The girl idiot is gathering all the leaders for a briefing of some kind.
Aoi: No prob. Hi.
Raiha: Huh? Shouldn't it be bye - *screams and drops the phone (which vanishes) and turns around at the feeling of cold fingers wrapping around his neck*
Aoi: Boo.
Raiha: O.O what do you think you're doing?! You scared the shit outta me!
Aoi: well, you told me to come, dincha? *looks smug*
Kurei: Which girl screamed just now and woke me up? Is there a helpless damsel in distress somewhere? Just kill her already before the white knight comes.
(And now, please welcome... the amazing Yue!!! This is her second debut for this chapter. Clap, people, clap!)
Aoi: Well Mister Kurei, in case you haven't noticed, the so-called damsel in distress was your faithful and loyal servant.
Kurei: What? Raiha, I'm surprised at you. You scream worse than a girl.
Yue: HMMPHMMPH. MMPH. HMPPH. MPPH. HM? (Translation: Perfect for a bottom, doncha think?)
Raiha: *glares and blushes* Shuddup!
Yue: *thinks* Damn. That idiot doesn't look like he is going to let me off soon. Doushiyo. I need to contact Vae and the others for the briefing.
Kurei: -_- Anyway, Raiha, I would appreciate it if you do not /scream/ next time. that girly sound does not suit a ninja of your calibre.
Yue: scream?. Oh right!!! *takes a deep breath and yells* MMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ! (Translation: VAE!!!!!)
The ground shakes and rumbles. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes. The plate tectonics of Anime Land move apart from each other, creating a divergent boundary, which in other cases is supposed to either create an earthquake or cause magma in the interior of the Earth to well up to the surface and burst out of the volcano's crater. The magma, by the way, is a type of igneous rock, which is either intrusive/plutonic or extrusive/volcanic. and these volcanic eruptions cause air pollution because of volcanic ash, together with the formation of stuff like geysers and springs and this also makes the soil around it more fertile. (Yue: Gomen. just had a Geography test yesterday. Vae: Shuddup already!!! Yes, yes, I know you studied. Don't rub it in!)
(Suddenly... confetti bursts around the place as Vae appears, dragging a mortified Recca and Kukai with her)
Vae: Hi people! ^_______^ didja miss my pretty face?
Kurei, Raiha, Aoi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! GET HER AWAY!!!! SAVE US!!!! MONSTER ON THE LOOOOOSE!!!!!
Vae: *sweatdrops as she watches the three uruhas chase each other around the clearing yelling their heads off* I don't look that bad, do I?
Yue: O.O MMPH MMPH MMPH!!!! MMMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPHH?!!! (yes you do!!!! What did you do to yourself?!!!!)
Vae: *looks down at her* what? I was just trying to look like fuuko-chan! She's so cool!
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!! (But you look like DOMON!!!)
(Vae is wearing skintight shorts... and a singlet-like vest... and sneakers... just like what fuuko wears in the ubs... but the problem is, with Vae's horrible fashion sense... she managed to turn fuuko's comfortable outfit into domon's disaster...)
Vae: *pouts* hmph. Fine. *snaps her fingers and changes back into her previous outfit with doesn't seem to get dirty or tear no matter how many times she wears it... like the uniforms in FY...)
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MPPH, MPPH MPPH MPPH MPPH! (now that my poor eyes are saved, Get Me Out Of Here!)
Vae: out of where?
Yue: MMPH!!! (HERE!!!!)
Vae: I don't see anything different about you... except that you look fatter than before. And shorter.
All the bishounen: -_-;;;;;;;;
Raiha: *whispers to Kurei* we forgot that she even though she's weirder than Yue... she's way more blur than her! Thank anzai for that!
Kurei: yeah.
(suddenly...)
Fuuko: *floating towards everyone on a wind created by her fuujin and yelling* TO PROTECT THE WEAK FROM DEVASTATION, TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN THE NATION, TO RENOUNCE THE EVILS OF BULLYING AND... AND... GLOVES, TO EXTEND MY REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE!
Kurei: /That's/ your girlfriend?
Raiha: eheheh... *sweatdrop* she's a bit enthusiastic at times, I must admit... *waves* fuuko-chan!
Fuuko: *turns red* Raiha! OWCH!!!
*our dear wind master, not looking where she was going since she was too busy looking at raiha, promptly crashed into a demented jumping jack-in-the- box... which is Yue trying to stand up.*
Yue: @-@
Fuuko: oh, look! A helpless victim!!! I protect the weak and the stupid, so I shall save you!! *unties Yue*
Kurei: I wonder who's the real victim here...
Fuuko: *slowly, like she's talking to a baby* come, don't be scared, tell fuuko who bullied you, and I'll help you get revenge!
Yue: Him, him and her!!!
Raiha, Kurei and Vae: Who, me?
*Fuuko looks at Raiha and sees her boyfriend giving her the puppy face... then winces and turns to Kurei and sees Kurenai and winces again... then turns to Vae and sees a monkey and brightens*
Fuuko: ok! I shall beat you up!
Vae: me? Trust me, you do not want to do that. I am the almighty author of this fic. I can win you anytime!
Fuuko: we'll see about that! *grins evilly*
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
who will win the battle of the females? Read on to find out!
**And please review!** Sorry if our jokes are corny and not very interesting... at least this is an educational chapter... you learn math and geography! ^_____^ ok that was stupid.
Yue: Thanks to ShuHui for reviewing... even though I forced her into it ^_^;;;
Vae: thanks for reviewing, Dark Magician lady!!! I'm so glad u think I'm cool (YEAH!!! *dances a jig around the room* ALL BOW TO ME!!!). and that our story's cool too! Yue and I are schoolmates writing this thing, so we take turns writing. All the funny parts are mine.
Yue: HEY!!!!!
Vae: kiddin, just kiddin. You know I think that your writing is really good... 'newayz, hope u like this chap!
(Yue: Nah. you're the better writer.)
Oh yes, and to Katana Shinzo, I'm not telling who Koganei likes!! You'll find out anyway. *grins and sticks out tongue* but thanks for saying our fic is funny and awesome! I hope you won't be disappointed with this chapter! Any pairing you like in particular for Koganei? Or anybody else? Feel free to ask!
Yue: hmph. Anyway, thanks for reviewing too, ShinigamiD! ^o^ *hugs back* How ya doin? Erm... *sweatdrop* I wouldn't be too sure about the lemon. coz if you still remember the /interesting/ experience we had last time with lemon writing... -.-
*****IMPORTANT*****
Vae: we planned on making FY fight with FoR... so if it's only FoR, we might have to create new groups. (Then we'll definitely ask for your help, dark magician lady!) Some people want us to add FY, some don't. so we shall see how many reviews we get telling us if they want it or not! Then we'll decide... *hint, hint*
(pause)
ok, forget about the hinting. REVIEW EVERYONE!!! And feel free to ask for any pairing... there's a neon-joker one coming up, by request of the wonderful cherie! :) yeah!
Anyway, we shall bore you no further with our crap. On with the story! And we sincerely hope you'll like this chapter, though I find it too... well, corny and lame. We did our best! Feel free to give comments!
P.S. Read Darke Angel's original fics at www.fictionpress.net! Yeah!!! Read "Binding Differences" and flame her if she doesn't update. so cruel rite...
================prologue to Chap 3==============
Weird Voice: Hi! Yes, it's me again, having recovered from a not so nice experience of being burnt to a crisp... ahem, excuse me for a minute... *throws daggers at a picture of Kurei who already looks like a porcupine* Anyway, in the last chapter, Vae managed to find the Hokage, glomping Recca, Koganei and Mikagami at the same time...
Recca, Koganei, Mikagami: *recall painful memory and wince*
Weird Voice: So now, let's move on to see what's happening with Yue and the others...
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
(an hour later)
Yue: *still throwing confetti around*
Raiha: Anou... Yue-san...
Yue: *a bit /too/ cheerfully* Yes?
Raiha: Well... If I were you, I would stop throwing confetti around. It's dirtying the place you know.
Yue: But there are no cops around here right? So I guess I can litter as much as I want. *whistles* No corrective work order. XD *throws even MORE confetti*
Raiha: *sweatdrop* Actually, there /are/ cops...
Yue: *stops in her tracks, falls flat on her face, and ends up with a mouthful of dirt and a deformed face* WHAT?!
Kurei: In fact, I see one heading here now...
(Saitou /we do not own Rurouni Kenshin/ walks past the trio.)
Yue: *slaps forehead* Damn, I forgot HIM...
(Saitou stops, glances at the rubbish, then looks at Yue.)
Yue: ARGH!!! Um... *looks around desperately*
Saitou: YOU! *takes out his sword and points at Yue menancingly*
Yue: WAHHHHHH!!!!! *wails and goes down on her knees* NOOO... don't put me in prison. I'm too young to go to prison... I promise I'll never never ever litter again.
Raiha & Kurei: ......
Saitou: ... What the - ?! What's that about putting who in prison? I was just trying to ask you whether you have seen Himura Kenshin.
Yue: *heaves a /huge/ sigh of relief* Phew... then why did you point that sword at me?
Saitou: If I didn't, would you tell me anything? Oh hey~ now that you've mentioned it, didn't you know that you're not allowed to litter?
Yue: Kuso... Doushiyouuu?! *sudden idea pops up in her head* Look!!! Kenshin! *points finger to somewhere behind Saitou*
Saitou: *turns around frantically* Where? Where?
Yue: *grabs Raiha and Kurei* Ikuzo!!!
(The trio run away, or rather, Yue is dragging them away, leaving a trail of smoke behind)
(15 minutes later.)
Yue: *pants* Okay... I think we ran far enough. He shouldn't be able to catch up at this rate.
Kurei: Kami-sama, why did I ever agree to follow this crazy girl?
Yue: Hey! *death glare x 1000* Nandato? You big, ugly, masked face, long fingernailed, morbid -oops that was a compliment-, horrible laughter, slimy haired *censored*.
Raiha: *pulls out katana and points at Yue* No one insults Kurei-sama in front of me!
Kurei: *voice dangerously quiet* I dare you to repeat what you said again... *death glare x 100000000*
Yue: *whimpers* Ok...ok... I take that back... *mutters* Kuso. First Saitou's sword, now Raiha's sword... Am I jinxed or what? I mean, yeah, I like swords - provided they are not pointing at me... and especially not when they are one centimetre away from stabbing my heart. And the worst part is I get my favourite bishounen pointing them at me... *cries* I waaaaaant myyyyy MOMMMMIEEEEEE!!!
Kurei: *stuffs fingers in ears* I swear, that if I hang around this.this crazy person any longer, I'm going to go DEAF anytime!
Raiha: *cheerfully* Oh, don't you worry, Kurei sama, I've got... *rummages in pocket* TA-DAA! Earplugs!
Kurei: ...... *in a deadpan tone*wow. That's going to be so helpful, Raiha.
Yue: *glances at watch* ARGH!!! It's so late already? Gosh, we better start finding Ura Uruha now...
Raiha: =_=' And who's fault was it that we wasted so much time? *glares*
Yue: *sweatdrops* Ehehe....hehe...
Kurei: Well, that's not my problem. *crosses arms over chest* We don't need anyone else...I can fight Recca all by myself. Humph.
Yue: *rolls eyes* Yeah, sure, I seemingly recall some very arrogant person saying that he would beat Recca but ended up rolling on the floor like a burnt crisp. Hah. Do it again, shall we -
Raiha: Shut up, Yue. I repeat - NO ONE INSULTS KUREI SAMA IN FRONT OF ME.
Yue: *pouts* Why must you be so mean to me? My life already sucks!
Audience: Because we all don't like you.
Yue: *glares* Yeah. Laugh at me, won't you? And I'll make sure you die horrible deaths.
Audience: *indignantly* Hey! Quit threatening us with that! Is all that you think about death? What happened to your morals?
Yue: Morals? What morals? I don't have any and don't have to think about any. My characters are happy if they actually /live/ till the last page.
Audience: *mutters* I seriously doubt I would like to read any of your other stories.
Yue: Yeah. I'm sure as hell you wouldn't. You undignified people wouldn't *know* how to appreciate it. I mean, it's hard to, with a brain that size of yours... Wait, do you even /have/ one? Or is your head too stuffed with cotton wool? Anyway, I don't have time now to pick a fight with you brainless gits. Wait till I get Ura Uruha. We'll settle our scores another - YIKES! *screams as someone comes flying towards her*
Fujimiya Ran (we don't own Weiss Kreuz): TAKATORI!!! SHI-NE!!!! *holds sword up, preparing to strike*
Yue: What the @#($&(#)? I'M NOT TAKATORI!!!! STOP POINTING THAT DAMNED SWORD AT ME!!!!
Ran: *blinks* Oh right, you're not Takatori. Gomen, made a mistake... it's just that you look a lot like that senile old b*stard... *raiha and kurei snigger, then mutter among themselves about how "the other girl looks much worse" and start sniggering again*
Yue: *dazedly* That's the third sword I'm getting today... This is crap... *mutters*
Audience: *whispers* It's lucky she doesn't realise who she has bumped into or poor Ran will get glomped...
Raiha: Erm. We're sorry. We were just looking for someone. We'll be on our way now. Bye! *drags the dazed Yue away, Kurei follows*
(10 minutes later)
Yue: *still recovering from shock* Three swords...
Kurei: She doesn't seem quite all right to me. Damn. How are we going to find the Ura Uruha in this state?
Raiha: Well, I vaguely remember that the authors of this fic seem to like yelling for them. Should we try that? It'll be more convenient for us.
Kurei: Look Raiha, I might look stupid but I'm definitely not a brainless git. And I have witnessed enough yelling scenes to know that this is the worst thing to do when finding people in AnimeLand. Although the consequences might only apply to authors. Or maybe it only works for authors. I forgot.
Yue: Three swords... thrreeee swooorddsss...
Raiha: Well... Then, my lord, as your loyal and faithful servant, I shall attempt to call the Ura Uruha out myself. And take the brunt of the attack. Don't worry, I'll protect you if anything happens.
Yue: *blinks* *awakes from trance* Heyyyyy~~~ Did I just miss some Yaoi scene?? *evil grin* *says in a lovesick manner* Don't worry, my love, I will protect you with my life... Aww...
Raiha: *blushes* SHUDDUP. I'm STRAIGHT ok? My love is Fuuko.
Yue: Really? You sure???? ^_________________________^
Raiha: Y-yyyes!
Kurei: ......
Yue: Oh. *looks disappointed* I thought the story was finally picking up. Did I mention how much I loooooooooooooooooove Yaoi? *starts prancing around and singing* Yaoi is my life... Yaoi is my everything.... Yaoi is the beesssttt-
Raiha: *cuts in* That's enough already. Now can we start finding the Ura Uruha? We've wasted so much time!
(Yue writing ends *here* and Vae writing starts *here*)(insert claps and cheers and loud catcalling *here*)(Vae starts bowing *here*)(rotten tomatoes and eggs and goodness knows what hit her *here*)
ignore that last paragraph.
Yue: Alright! Yaoi! Let's go! Yaoi! Who are we looking for? Yaoi!
Raiha: At this rate, yaoi is going to be put down in my dictionary as a word that roughly means the same thing as 'shit and damn and curse it to hell'...
Kurei: Language, Raiha language. My ninjas must be of a refined higher class... like me. *preens himself*
Raiha: Gomennasai, Kurei-sama. *whips out dictionary and reads from it* Is 'faeces which can be explained as the solid waste matter from the bowels and can be called excrement...
*flips to the 'd' section of the dictionary*
and damnation and condemnation...
*flips to the 'c' part*
and cause evil, harm, destruction and pain to something
*flips to the 'h' part*
so that it descends into...
*starts reading again*
the utmost depths of the place believed in some religions to be the home of devils and of wicked people after death or a state or place of great suffering or wickedness, a very unpleasant experience'
*shuts the dictionary* better?
Kurei: not much, actually. Though I am glad to see that you are intelligent enough to check the dictionary.
Raiha: well, in that case, I shall try my utmost to refrain from repeating that past mistake, but, no offence meant, THAT THING REALLY TRIES MY NERVES!!!
Yue: *indignantly* Hey, I'm not a thing, yaoi! I'm a person, yaoi! A very nice person, yaoi!
Audience: Yeah, right.
Raiha: Why are you going 'yaoi' at the end of every sentence?!
Yue: well, it's like chichiri's 'no da' yaoi! And we don't own Fushigi Yuugi, yaoi! If Chiri can say 'no da' at the end of every sentence, then why can't I say 'yaoi', yaoi?
Kurei: I have a brilliant idea that may save our sanity, my faithful ninja.
Raiha: *excitedly* even better than my earplugs?
Kurei: *solemnly* Even better than your earplugs.
(the two of them whisper while yue tries to eavesdrop and fails miserably)
Raiha: Brilliant! I'll take the bottom, you take the top!
Kurei: Looking forward to it.
Yue: o.O What? Whose top and whose bottom, yaoi? Look guys, if you really wanna well. do *that*, you can just ignore my presence, yaoi. Go ahead. Oh wait. but then I'll have to change the ratings. But *perks up* It's worth it, yaoi~! ^________________________^
Raiha and Kurei: what? *blinks... then realization dawns as they remember how hentai Yue's mind is* ARGH!!!!!
*audience oohs and aahs appreciatively as the two bishounen pounce on Yue (NOOOO!!! NOOOO!!! I WANT MY MOOOOMEEEE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE - ) and tie her up, Raiha binding her legs and Kurei tying her hands and gagging her. Then everybody points at the girl and joins in the fiendish laughter at the miserable author's pathetic state.* *no offense meant, yue.*
Yue: M'm mmmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm!!! Mm mmmm mm!!! mmm'mm mmm mm mm mmmmm!!! (translation: I'm gonna get you for this!!! I mean it!!! You'll die in my hands!!!)
Raiha: Any idea what she's saying?
Kurei: No. Thank Anzai.
Audience: she's threatening us all!
Kurei: well, it's not very impressive or threatening, is it, what with her being tied up and all.
Raiha: I fully agree, Kurei-sama. Your plans are always the best!
Kurei: Why, thank you, my ninja.
*the two look at each other and crack up in mad laughter*
Yue: MMMM MMMM MMM MMMM MMMM!!! MMMM MMM'MM MMMMMM MMMM!!!! (translation: wait till Vae gets here!!! Then you'll regret this!!!!)
Kurei: Oh, yes. The other idiot girl author.
Raiha: uh-oh... she's even worse than this one!
Kurei: I realize that! She's terrible! I'd rather deal with this one than her any day!
Raiha: *cringes* I hate to think what she'll do if she sees what we did to this one... Rumour has it that she has a collection of axes which she uses often. VERY often.
Kurei: . *wincing as his over-active morbid imagination supplied him with images*
Raiha: what do we do, o Kurei-sama? Be killed by Vae or be killed by Yue? I don't want to die yet!!! I haven't done anything with Fuuko-chan!!!
Kurei: oh, that was a really bad image, Raiha! Really, really bad. I /so/ did not need that image, Raiha. Really. That's disgusting. Coming from /her/ I wouldn't be surprised, but you? (Yue: But it was better than the top and bottom one, was it not? ^_~ Vae: Oh be quiet, you.)
(A/N I'm sure u readers out there will understand what I meant... ^_____________^ just to let u noe, I'm not the hentai one. Yue and some other friends I noe are much more hentai... they keep reading nc-17 lemons... not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...) (Yue: Actually, it's NC21. *evil grinz*) (Vae: hentai)
Yue: MMPH. MMPH. (this means Ha. Ha. Dunno why she's laughing - or at least trying to - when she's in such a fix... oh well.)
Raiha: I think we'd better get Aoi here, so that she won't kill us that badly for not finding the Ura Uruha and wasting time... though it's not our fault... and whose fault is it, class?
Audience: HER FAULT!!! *points at a red-faced Yue*
Raiha: Very good, very good! Now let's see... *whips out Uruha Cell Phone - One Time Use only! Call 4444 and reach the Uruha Phone network without annoying waiting times!! Get your phone today! - and opens it*
(Silence.)
Kurei: You... have a Uruha Cell Phone.
Raiha: Yep!
Kurei: You have a *Uruha Cell Phone*.
Raiha: That's right.
Kurei: *You* have a Uruha Cell Phone.
Raiha: Uh huh...
Kurei: You. Have. A. Uruha. Cell. Phone.
Raiha: Anything wrong, Kurei-sama? *feeling a bit scared now*
Kurei: *in a cold, deadly tone* We could have saved our sanity and time if you had taken the phone out at the beginning instead of wandering around with this... with this... with this *bug*. But noooo... you have to wait till I dirty my hands by touching her before you take the phone out!
Raiha: I'm sorry, really, Kurei-sama! Gomennasai! Onegai, give me another chance! I would have taken it out sooner... if I had remembered...
Kurei: Forget it. JUST CALL ALREADY!!!
Raiha: *Nodnod* ok, ok! *Dials 4444* Hello?
Operator: Hello! You have reached the Uruha Phone Network! Name the Uruha you want to find!
Raiha: Aoi.
Operator: Hai! Just hold on a second!
Raiha: ok!
(one second)
(one second times sixty which equals to one minute)
(one minute times sixty which equals to one hour)
(one hour times three which equals to half of a quarter of a day)
(isn't this fun, we're learning how to tell the time.what a great achievement!)
finally...
Operator: Hello!
Raiha: *snores*
Operator: HELLO!!!
Raiha: what? What? *jerks awake and looks around frantically* I'm awake! I'm awake! Hey~ you said no waiting time, and you were gone for three hours!!!
Operator: I'm sorry! That was due to unforseen problems. But here's Aoi- sama now! Thank you for using Uruha Phone Network!
Aoi: Hello? Whoever that is, just want to tell you never use a Uruha Phone. They suck.
Raiha: ...... -_-;
(Kurei and Yue have both gone to sleep long ago)
Aoi: hello?
Raiha: Yeah, hi. Listen, there's gonna be another UBS and we're gonna fight against Recca and the others and everything. Wanna join? Kurei is in, the Kuu are in, and I'm sure Recca and them will join too, being the violence- loving idiots we all are. And I'd advise you to join, cuz there are two power-crazy girl author wannabes who will torture you if you don't.
Aoi: Since you put it that way, I guess so.
Raiha: Can you come to see Kurei now? The girl idiot is gathering all the leaders for a briefing of some kind.
Aoi: No prob. Hi.
Raiha: Huh? Shouldn't it be bye - *screams and drops the phone (which vanishes) and turns around at the feeling of cold fingers wrapping around his neck*
Aoi: Boo.
Raiha: O.O what do you think you're doing?! You scared the shit outta me!
Aoi: well, you told me to come, dincha? *looks smug*
Kurei: Which girl screamed just now and woke me up? Is there a helpless damsel in distress somewhere? Just kill her already before the white knight comes.
(And now, please welcome... the amazing Yue!!! This is her second debut for this chapter. Clap, people, clap!)
Aoi: Well Mister Kurei, in case you haven't noticed, the so-called damsel in distress was your faithful and loyal servant.
Kurei: What? Raiha, I'm surprised at you. You scream worse than a girl.
Yue: HMMPHMMPH. MMPH. HMPPH. MPPH. HM? (Translation: Perfect for a bottom, doncha think?)
Raiha: *glares and blushes* Shuddup!
Yue: *thinks* Damn. That idiot doesn't look like he is going to let me off soon. Doushiyo. I need to contact Vae and the others for the briefing.
Kurei: -_- Anyway, Raiha, I would appreciate it if you do not /scream/ next time. that girly sound does not suit a ninja of your calibre.
Yue: scream?. Oh right!!! *takes a deep breath and yells* MMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ! (Translation: VAE!!!!!)
The ground shakes and rumbles. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes. The plate tectonics of Anime Land move apart from each other, creating a divergent boundary, which in other cases is supposed to either create an earthquake or cause magma in the interior of the Earth to well up to the surface and burst out of the volcano's crater. The magma, by the way, is a type of igneous rock, which is either intrusive/plutonic or extrusive/volcanic. and these volcanic eruptions cause air pollution because of volcanic ash, together with the formation of stuff like geysers and springs and this also makes the soil around it more fertile. (Yue: Gomen. just had a Geography test yesterday. Vae: Shuddup already!!! Yes, yes, I know you studied. Don't rub it in!)
(Suddenly... confetti bursts around the place as Vae appears, dragging a mortified Recca and Kukai with her)
Vae: Hi people! ^_______^ didja miss my pretty face?
Kurei, Raiha, Aoi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! GET HER AWAY!!!! SAVE US!!!! MONSTER ON THE LOOOOOSE!!!!!
Vae: *sweatdrops as she watches the three uruhas chase each other around the clearing yelling their heads off* I don't look that bad, do I?
Yue: O.O MMPH MMPH MMPH!!!! MMMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPHH?!!! (yes you do!!!! What did you do to yourself?!!!!)
Vae: *looks down at her* what? I was just trying to look like fuuko-chan! She's so cool!
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!! (But you look like DOMON!!!)
(Vae is wearing skintight shorts... and a singlet-like vest... and sneakers... just like what fuuko wears in the ubs... but the problem is, with Vae's horrible fashion sense... she managed to turn fuuko's comfortable outfit into domon's disaster...)
Vae: *pouts* hmph. Fine. *snaps her fingers and changes back into her previous outfit with doesn't seem to get dirty or tear no matter how many times she wears it... like the uniforms in FY...)
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MPPH, MPPH MPPH MPPH MPPH! (now that my poor eyes are saved, Get Me Out Of Here!)
Vae: out of where?
Yue: MMPH!!! (HERE!!!!)
Vae: I don't see anything different about you... except that you look fatter than before. And shorter.
All the bishounen: -_-;;;;;;;;
Raiha: *whispers to Kurei* we forgot that she even though she's weirder than Yue... she's way more blur than her! Thank anzai for that!
Kurei: yeah.
(suddenly...)
Fuuko: *floating towards everyone on a wind created by her fuujin and yelling* TO PROTECT THE WEAK FROM DEVASTATION, TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN THE NATION, TO RENOUNCE THE EVILS OF BULLYING AND... AND... GLOVES, TO EXTEND MY REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE!
Kurei: /That's/ your girlfriend?
Raiha: eheheh... *sweatdrop* she's a bit enthusiastic at times, I must admit... *waves* fuuko-chan!
Fuuko: *turns red* Raiha! OWCH!!!
*our dear wind master, not looking where she was going since she was too busy looking at raiha, promptly crashed into a demented jumping jack-in-the- box... which is Yue trying to stand up.*
Yue: @-@
Fuuko: oh, look! A helpless victim!!! I protect the weak and the stupid, so I shall save you!! *unties Yue*
Kurei: I wonder who's the real victim here...
Fuuko: *slowly, like she's talking to a baby* come, don't be scared, tell fuuko who bullied you, and I'll help you get revenge!
Yue: Him, him and her!!!
Raiha, Kurei and Vae: Who, me?
*Fuuko looks at Raiha and sees her boyfriend giving her the puppy face... then winces and turns to Kurei and sees Kurenai and winces again... then turns to Vae and sees a monkey and brightens*
Fuuko: ok! I shall beat you up!
Vae: me? Trust me, you do not want to do that. I am the almighty author of this fic. I can win you anytime!
Fuuko: we'll see about that! *grins evilly*
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
who will win the battle of the females? Read on to find out!
**And please review!** Sorry if our jokes are corny and not very interesting... at least this is an educational chapter... you learn math and geography! ^_____^ ok that was stupid.