This is a true story. (Or would be if Siegfried was a real person)
Once upon a time, Siegfried leaned back in his chair to watch Get Smart. It was his favorite
episode, the one about how he had put a big price on Smart's head to get even with him for
sending him to jail. He waited eagerly for his appearance on the screen, but it never came. He had
been stricken from the entire episode! "Vat!" he exclaimed as he kicked the tv, hoping his
scowling face would be reflected on the screen. "Shtarker!" he cried to his doting right-hand man.
"Zis calls for revenge!"
Several weeks later, a TVLand editor was trying to figure out what part to cut out of an episode
when he realized that he couldn't understand his boss's writing! It wasn't even in English. "Wot
the hell?" he said in his goony southern drawl. "This looks lak psoodow Doitch!" He pronounced
the "p" in pseudo even though it was supposed to be silent. Pfister would've had a seizure. But
anyway, as strange as it may seem, every scrap of paper in the TVLand office was written in
Siegfried's jibberish instead of English. No one could do a bloody thing at the studio and the
station was blank for a week.
"My revenge has begun!" crowed Siegfried in delight.
A few days after that, a notice appeared on the bulletin board at TVLand. It said: "Put me back in
'Someone Down Here Hates Me' or you vill have to pay ze consequences!" Everyone was so
happy they had something to read that was actually in a language they could understand that they
disregarded the message completely. In fact, they were so stupid that they didn't even
comprehend the meaning of the note!
Well, eventually they figured out how to get the programming back on the air without following
the Deutch instructions, but when they did, all the characters in every show except Get Smart
spoke nothing but Pseudo-German! They STILL didn't get it, not even when all of their Get
Smart episodes were stolen save the ones with Siegfried in them. By now, most of their
subscribers had canceled them and their funds were down to the dregs. So when a nice-looking
young man with a scar on his left cheek asked to buy the station for a million marks, they gladly
agreed. Once Siegfried had control of the station, all of the shows except Get Smart were
discontinued and the station was renamed KAOSLand. He aired ALL the episodes in ORDER and
unedited with only several brainwashing commercials in between to corrupt all remaining viewers.
Soon he took over the White House and then the World. Oh, well, at least we got to see the
WHOLE Get Smart.
AND WE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
THE END (TVLand take notice)
And you thought a world run by KAOS would be a terrible thing!
Once upon a time, Siegfried leaned back in his chair to watch Get Smart. It was his favorite
episode, the one about how he had put a big price on Smart's head to get even with him for
sending him to jail. He waited eagerly for his appearance on the screen, but it never came. He had
been stricken from the entire episode! "Vat!" he exclaimed as he kicked the tv, hoping his
scowling face would be reflected on the screen. "Shtarker!" he cried to his doting right-hand man.
"Zis calls for revenge!"
Several weeks later, a TVLand editor was trying to figure out what part to cut out of an episode
when he realized that he couldn't understand his boss's writing! It wasn't even in English. "Wot
the hell?" he said in his goony southern drawl. "This looks lak psoodow Doitch!" He pronounced
the "p" in pseudo even though it was supposed to be silent. Pfister would've had a seizure. But
anyway, as strange as it may seem, every scrap of paper in the TVLand office was written in
Siegfried's jibberish instead of English. No one could do a bloody thing at the studio and the
station was blank for a week.
"My revenge has begun!" crowed Siegfried in delight.
A few days after that, a notice appeared on the bulletin board at TVLand. It said: "Put me back in
'Someone Down Here Hates Me' or you vill have to pay ze consequences!" Everyone was so
happy they had something to read that was actually in a language they could understand that they
disregarded the message completely. In fact, they were so stupid that they didn't even
comprehend the meaning of the note!
Well, eventually they figured out how to get the programming back on the air without following
the Deutch instructions, but when they did, all the characters in every show except Get Smart
spoke nothing but Pseudo-German! They STILL didn't get it, not even when all of their Get
Smart episodes were stolen save the ones with Siegfried in them. By now, most of their
subscribers had canceled them and their funds were down to the dregs. So when a nice-looking
young man with a scar on his left cheek asked to buy the station for a million marks, they gladly
agreed. Once Siegfried had control of the station, all of the shows except Get Smart were
discontinued and the station was renamed KAOSLand. He aired ALL the episodes in ORDER and
unedited with only several brainwashing commercials in between to corrupt all remaining viewers.
Soon he took over the White House and then the World. Oh, well, at least we got to see the
WHOLE Get Smart.
AND WE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
THE END (TVLand take notice)
And you thought a world run by KAOS would be a terrible thing!