As the Hairy Cankle Turns
Part 16
Season 2 Episode 3
Destiny's Child
High on the Mountain Top in Tibet...
DREAMER: ... you see Nos... you were put here for a reason. Not just for slaying the boring and mundane, but to fulfill a prophecy.
NOS: Kinda like the chosen one.
(Henry the Chronic Dog walks around the corner)
HENRY: AAAAAAAahahahahahaha... Chosen one... Prophecy... AAAAAAHAHAHAH... this is good shit... if I had thumbs I'd write this shit down... aaaaaaahahahahahaaa... this is priceless... it would make for a really funny post on a web board.
DREAMER: Shut up dumbass, I'm doing Oracle shit over here.
HENRY: Whatever... I'll be over here licking my balls... Hey Nos... let me know when you want to hear what's really going on.
DREAMER (rolls her eyes): Any way... Nos... you have more talents than you realize. You're more than just a killing machine. You just have to open your mind. Here... toke on this...
NOS: Eh... what the hell... I doubt that things can get much weirder.
(Nos take a big puff on a pipe. The screen goes foggy and a dream sequence begins. Nos sees all of the horrors that have been a mainstay in his life... Poetry, gurgling troglodytes, cycloptic weirdoes, Bisexual Vampires that like young children, Bug eyed geckos that babble, and robots... lots of robots.)
NOS (con't): Holy Shit... Chili was right... but he was more right than he thought.
DREAMER: Is that a hint of understanding?
NOS: No... it can't be true.
DREAMER: See for your self... smack yourself in the nuts.
HENRY (snickering to himself): Oh... I gotta see.
NOS: Are you fucking high?
DREAMER: Well, Duh... just hit yourself in the balls and it will answer your questions.
(Nos closes his eyes and raises his fist... after a long deep breath he drops his hand into his crotch.... it makes solid contact with a *CLANG*)
HENRY: What the shit is that?
NOS: This is fucking insane, man.
DREAMER: Nihilistic Omnipotence Scout
NOS: I'm a fuckin Droid???
HENRY: AAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahaha... DooD... George Lucas is going to have your ass for lunch... Droid is copyrighted stuff!
NOS: I'm a fucking robot?
DREAMER: Not exactly.
NOS: Then what the fuck is going on.
HENRY: Look Schmucko... Think about it... a kid that can ram his fist up someone's ass and pull out a liver, a little girl that can rip arms off of bodies, a talking fucking dog for christ sakes...
*Ahem* Yo, Cheese-mo... cue that fucking dreamy music shit again... Ever since the world went tits up like a crack junkie whore who free-based her way to the nether world... people have done pretty much what ever the fuck they wanted to. They had software out there that could teach you how to fuck with DNA at home with simple household items.
There was this really freakie dude who started fucking with people. He implanted some memories, fucked up some DNA... and sent these freaks out to wreak havoc on the world. He gave them all code names cause it sounded cool.
NOS: So how do all of you fit into this?
DREAMER: Who knows... it's not like we're writing the story.
NOS: Uh... I hate to interrupt, but what's that?
DREAMER: Oh... it's a drumstick that I got a long time ago. It's pretty gnarled up thanks to that piss bag over there.
HENRY: HEY! I'm a fuckin DAWG Ovah here... I chew shit okay!
NOS: Can I see it... I want to try something.
(Nos wanders off by himself... he pushes a button on his wrist and his arm opens up)
NOS: Fuck this is getting weird
(Inside his arm is a tool kit... he pulls it out and starts tinkering with the drumstick. A few hours later he goes back over to the ledge where Henry and Dreamer and ripping into a huge plate of Nachos)
NOS: Well... not sure how I did it... but... it actually fucking works.
DREAMER: What works?
NOS: This!
(Nos pushes a button he installed on the side of the drumstick. A glowing beam rises out of the stick like a laser generated sword.)
HENRY: What the fuck is that?
NOS: I call it... a Light Saber
HENRY: *AHEM* Pssst... copyrights numbnuts...
NOS: I call it... a ... uh... glowing drum sword... uhm... I think of something... here... It's a gift for you since you have helped me. I gotta go.
(Nos grabs his back pack, opens it up and finds a teleporter.)
NOS: Damn I have some cool shit... Thanks guys!
(With the press of a few buttons, Nos was gone)
HENRY: Fuckin prick... didn't even invite us
DREAMER: Eh... like we need teleporters
HENRY: I still wanna see his face when he finds out the rest of the story.
DREAMER: No shit... but this thing is pretty bad-ass.
HENRY: It's a fuckin geek toy
DREAMER: How about I see if it works by attempting an operation on your balls.
HENRY: Chiiiiiiiiill... I was joking. (whispers) Dumb bitch!
(Fade to Black)
Part 16
Season 2 Episode 3
Destiny's Child
High on the Mountain Top in Tibet...
DREAMER: ... you see Nos... you were put here for a reason. Not just for slaying the boring and mundane, but to fulfill a prophecy.
NOS: Kinda like the chosen one.
(Henry the Chronic Dog walks around the corner)
HENRY: AAAAAAAahahahahahaha... Chosen one... Prophecy... AAAAAAHAHAHAH... this is good shit... if I had thumbs I'd write this shit down... aaaaaaahahahahahaaa... this is priceless... it would make for a really funny post on a web board.
DREAMER: Shut up dumbass, I'm doing Oracle shit over here.
HENRY: Whatever... I'll be over here licking my balls... Hey Nos... let me know when you want to hear what's really going on.
DREAMER (rolls her eyes): Any way... Nos... you have more talents than you realize. You're more than just a killing machine. You just have to open your mind. Here... toke on this...
NOS: Eh... what the hell... I doubt that things can get much weirder.
(Nos take a big puff on a pipe. The screen goes foggy and a dream sequence begins. Nos sees all of the horrors that have been a mainstay in his life... Poetry, gurgling troglodytes, cycloptic weirdoes, Bisexual Vampires that like young children, Bug eyed geckos that babble, and robots... lots of robots.)
NOS (con't): Holy Shit... Chili was right... but he was more right than he thought.
DREAMER: Is that a hint of understanding?
NOS: No... it can't be true.
DREAMER: See for your self... smack yourself in the nuts.
HENRY (snickering to himself): Oh... I gotta see.
NOS: Are you fucking high?
DREAMER: Well, Duh... just hit yourself in the balls and it will answer your questions.
(Nos closes his eyes and raises his fist... after a long deep breath he drops his hand into his crotch.... it makes solid contact with a *CLANG*)
HENRY: What the shit is that?
NOS: This is fucking insane, man.
DREAMER: Nihilistic Omnipotence Scout
NOS: I'm a fuckin Droid???
HENRY: AAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahaha... DooD... George Lucas is going to have your ass for lunch... Droid is copyrighted stuff!
NOS: I'm a fucking robot?
DREAMER: Not exactly.
NOS: Then what the fuck is going on.
HENRY: Look Schmucko... Think about it... a kid that can ram his fist up someone's ass and pull out a liver, a little girl that can rip arms off of bodies, a talking fucking dog for christ sakes...
*Ahem* Yo, Cheese-mo... cue that fucking dreamy music shit again... Ever since the world went tits up like a crack junkie whore who free-based her way to the nether world... people have done pretty much what ever the fuck they wanted to. They had software out there that could teach you how to fuck with DNA at home with simple household items.
There was this really freakie dude who started fucking with people. He implanted some memories, fucked up some DNA... and sent these freaks out to wreak havoc on the world. He gave them all code names cause it sounded cool.
NOS: So how do all of you fit into this?
DREAMER: Who knows... it's not like we're writing the story.
NOS: Uh... I hate to interrupt, but what's that?
DREAMER: Oh... it's a drumstick that I got a long time ago. It's pretty gnarled up thanks to that piss bag over there.
HENRY: HEY! I'm a fuckin DAWG Ovah here... I chew shit okay!
NOS: Can I see it... I want to try something.
(Nos wanders off by himself... he pushes a button on his wrist and his arm opens up)
NOS: Fuck this is getting weird
(Inside his arm is a tool kit... he pulls it out and starts tinkering with the drumstick. A few hours later he goes back over to the ledge where Henry and Dreamer and ripping into a huge plate of Nachos)
NOS: Well... not sure how I did it... but... it actually fucking works.
DREAMER: What works?
NOS: This!
(Nos pushes a button he installed on the side of the drumstick. A glowing beam rises out of the stick like a laser generated sword.)
HENRY: What the fuck is that?
NOS: I call it... a Light Saber
HENRY: *AHEM* Pssst... copyrights numbnuts...
NOS: I call it... a ... uh... glowing drum sword... uhm... I think of something... here... It's a gift for you since you have helped me. I gotta go.
(Nos grabs his back pack, opens it up and finds a teleporter.)
NOS: Damn I have some cool shit... Thanks guys!
(With the press of a few buttons, Nos was gone)
HENRY: Fuckin prick... didn't even invite us
DREAMER: Eh... like we need teleporters
HENRY: I still wanna see his face when he finds out the rest of the story.
DREAMER: No shit... but this thing is pretty bad-ass.
HENRY: It's a fuckin geek toy
DREAMER: How about I see if it works by attempting an operation on your balls.
HENRY: Chiiiiiiiiill... I was joking. (whispers) Dumb bitch!
(Fade to Black)