AS THE HAIRY CANKLE TURNS
PART 18
SEASON 2 EPISODE 5
Anybody want a Peanut?
THEY HAVE BEEN FLOATING FOR WHAT SEEMS TO BE EONS. THE MOUNTAINS ON EITHER SIDE OF THEM HAVE THE SAME APPEARANCE AS THEY DID HOURS UPON HOURS AGO. IF THEY WERE NOT ALREADY CRAZY, THEY WOULD SURELY GO INSANE.
FIRESITE: What they hell are you doing?
DARKONE: Huh?
FIRESITE: Are you putting on makeup?
DARKONE: NO!
FIRESITE: Yes you are... FAG
DARKONE: It's war paint you asshole!
FIRESITE: It's fucking make up.
DARKONE: Oh look who's talking Mr. I'M WEARIN-A-DRESS!!!
FIRESITE: I already explained to you that this is Red's MooMoo... It was the only thing that wasn't covered in guts and goo.
DARKONE: I told you before... you should wear a tunic like I do. It keeps shit like that off of you.
FIRESITE: Yeah... but then I look like a goth fag who needs an ass beating.
DARKONE: Or in your case... an ass pounding... Fag
FIRESITE: Shut up... just fucking paddle.
DARKONE: H O L Y S H I T... Is that what I think it is?
FIRESITE: F U C K... that's fucking Testosterone Mountain. And by my calculations... we're less than a day away.
DARKONE: Yipee!
FIRESITE: LOL... did you just say Yippee?
THE PICTURE PANS BACK TO SHOW THE SCENE BEING DISPLAYED ON A 112 INCH TELEVISION MOUNTED ON A WALL IN SIDE THE JAFFE BUILDING.
JAFFE: Add that fucker to the list. He just L'd OL... MEN, do not LOL. I want that fucker dead.
GATORJEN: Jaffe, don't you think you are going a smidge overboard on this?
JAFFE: And this one... (he points to another monitor)... who ever the fuck this person is... needs to die a slow painful death.
GATORJEN: That's Form52... he wa...
JAFFE: DEAD... add him to the list... and get that gaggle of rag-a muffins on the phone... they need to step this shit up a bit before I put them on the list.
GATORJEN: *sigh* Here... have a FastBreak (Product Placement)... It always calms you down.
JAFFE: I don't want a FastBreak... okay... maybe I do want a FastBreak... But I also want Death... run down the list for me please.
GATORJEN: OK... On the DEAD... Thank GOODNESS Column, you have Gurgle Man
JAFFE (shudder): I get the chills just thinking about it.
GATORJEN: What his gruesome death.
JAFFE: No... him opening his mouth.
GATORJEN: Uh... then there's poetry lady, there is also Redman.
JAFFE: There should be MORE DEATH... more destruction... I want to bring forth the The Dark Horseman, the grim reaper, the terminator, any fuckin body that will eliminate the shit heads of the world.
GATORJEN: Uh... hon... chill. I got you a Burger King Chicken sandwich on the counter... just... for god sakes... CHILL.
JAFFE: OK... but go through the list of people I want dead.
GATORJEN: Do we really have to do this again? Wouldn't you rather sit down and play Final Fantasy 81 while I dance naked in your lap.
JAFFE: Yessss... (evil grin) ... Mmmmmm... Final Fantasy!
AND MEANWHILE BACK AT THE FU CASTLE... THERE IS A RUCKUS IN THE MAIN HALL. THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER ONE SHALL BE PLAYED BY BEYONCé KNOWLES
THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER TWO WILL BE PLAYED BY KATE HUDSON
THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER THREE WILL BE PLAYED BY BRITTANY MURPHY
KING FU: What was that ruckus?
THREE NAKED GIRLS: The Jester tried to Fuck us!
KING FU: That's not right, you belong to the King.
NAKED GIRL ONE: Eeeeeewww... he touched me with his thing.
KING FU: Sheriff bring the jester to kneel before me.
NAKED GIRL TWO: Are you going to make his punishment vicious and gory?
KING FU: Nay. I have a mission for the little twit.
NAKED GIRL THREE: Hopefully it deal with crawling through some shit.
SHERIFF CNM: Here's the Jester, the boy named Lemming
KING FU: I cannot have this discourse whilst my plan is stemming. I need my forces aligned and at the ready
LEMMING: But good King, the recent turn of events have made things quite unsteady.
KING FU: All the more reason for us to be on our toes.
SHERIFF CNM: I fear that we may be headed for awful woes.
THREE NAKED GIRLS: Dear King you seem unnerved It is time that you were served. Let's retire to your chambers and we'll undress.
KING FU: With a crooked smile and a furrowed brow... I reply... YEEEEES!
PART 18
SEASON 2 EPISODE 5
Anybody want a Peanut?
THEY HAVE BEEN FLOATING FOR WHAT SEEMS TO BE EONS. THE MOUNTAINS ON EITHER SIDE OF THEM HAVE THE SAME APPEARANCE AS THEY DID HOURS UPON HOURS AGO. IF THEY WERE NOT ALREADY CRAZY, THEY WOULD SURELY GO INSANE.
FIRESITE: What they hell are you doing?
DARKONE: Huh?
FIRESITE: Are you putting on makeup?
DARKONE: NO!
FIRESITE: Yes you are... FAG
DARKONE: It's war paint you asshole!
FIRESITE: It's fucking make up.
DARKONE: Oh look who's talking Mr. I'M WEARIN-A-DRESS!!!
FIRESITE: I already explained to you that this is Red's MooMoo... It was the only thing that wasn't covered in guts and goo.
DARKONE: I told you before... you should wear a tunic like I do. It keeps shit like that off of you.
FIRESITE: Yeah... but then I look like a goth fag who needs an ass beating.
DARKONE: Or in your case... an ass pounding... Fag
FIRESITE: Shut up... just fucking paddle.
DARKONE: H O L Y S H I T... Is that what I think it is?
FIRESITE: F U C K... that's fucking Testosterone Mountain. And by my calculations... we're less than a day away.
DARKONE: Yipee!
FIRESITE: LOL... did you just say Yippee?
THE PICTURE PANS BACK TO SHOW THE SCENE BEING DISPLAYED ON A 112 INCH TELEVISION MOUNTED ON A WALL IN SIDE THE JAFFE BUILDING.
JAFFE: Add that fucker to the list. He just L'd OL... MEN, do not LOL. I want that fucker dead.
GATORJEN: Jaffe, don't you think you are going a smidge overboard on this?
JAFFE: And this one... (he points to another monitor)... who ever the fuck this person is... needs to die a slow painful death.
GATORJEN: That's Form52... he wa...
JAFFE: DEAD... add him to the list... and get that gaggle of rag-a muffins on the phone... they need to step this shit up a bit before I put them on the list.
GATORJEN: *sigh* Here... have a FastBreak (Product Placement)... It always calms you down.
JAFFE: I don't want a FastBreak... okay... maybe I do want a FastBreak... But I also want Death... run down the list for me please.
GATORJEN: OK... On the DEAD... Thank GOODNESS Column, you have Gurgle Man
JAFFE (shudder): I get the chills just thinking about it.
GATORJEN: What his gruesome death.
JAFFE: No... him opening his mouth.
GATORJEN: Uh... then there's poetry lady, there is also Redman.
JAFFE: There should be MORE DEATH... more destruction... I want to bring forth the The Dark Horseman, the grim reaper, the terminator, any fuckin body that will eliminate the shit heads of the world.
GATORJEN: Uh... hon... chill. I got you a Burger King Chicken sandwich on the counter... just... for god sakes... CHILL.
JAFFE: OK... but go through the list of people I want dead.
GATORJEN: Do we really have to do this again? Wouldn't you rather sit down and play Final Fantasy 81 while I dance naked in your lap.
JAFFE: Yessss... (evil grin) ... Mmmmmm... Final Fantasy!
AND MEANWHILE BACK AT THE FU CASTLE... THERE IS A RUCKUS IN THE MAIN HALL. THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER ONE SHALL BE PLAYED BY BEYONCé KNOWLES
THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER TWO WILL BE PLAYED BY KATE HUDSON
THE PART OF NAKED GIRL NUMBER THREE WILL BE PLAYED BY BRITTANY MURPHY
KING FU: What was that ruckus?
THREE NAKED GIRLS: The Jester tried to Fuck us!
KING FU: That's not right, you belong to the King.
NAKED GIRL ONE: Eeeeeewww... he touched me with his thing.
KING FU: Sheriff bring the jester to kneel before me.
NAKED GIRL TWO: Are you going to make his punishment vicious and gory?
KING FU: Nay. I have a mission for the little twit.
NAKED GIRL THREE: Hopefully it deal with crawling through some shit.
SHERIFF CNM: Here's the Jester, the boy named Lemming
KING FU: I cannot have this discourse whilst my plan is stemming. I need my forces aligned and at the ready
LEMMING: But good King, the recent turn of events have made things quite unsteady.
KING FU: All the more reason for us to be on our toes.
SHERIFF CNM: I fear that we may be headed for awful woes.
THREE NAKED GIRLS: Dear King you seem unnerved It is time that you were served. Let's retire to your chambers and we'll undress.
KING FU: With a crooked smile and a furrowed brow... I reply... YEEEEES!