THE TRUE STORY OF THE RING AND THE FELLOWSHIP AND ALL
::it all started with Eru::
:: He created a few Elves, a few Dwarves and some kind of race with no pointy ears or FORM OF NICENESS WHATSOEVER ::cough cough:: I mean....a few men
The Eru dude also created these wizard people who had magical powers.. It WAS REALLY NEAT! I mean, er.....he created the Istari, who were wizard people and gave them that funky name::
And one day, he decided that these 'beings' didn't wanna just float around in space, so he created this planet, and on this planet he made two neat neato continents; Middle earth, and the Undying Lands (I WANNA GO THERE) I mean........okay. Getting back to the story. Well, zipping through time a BIT, this dude Sauron made some Rings.....
Then he gave a portion to each race. The Elves of course complained a little about getting fewer Rings than anyone else, but Sauron took out his sword and they all shut up
Then, zipping ahead A BIT, Isuldur cut off Sauron's finger and got the Ring. ::
Everyone: "WHAT RING???"
::Oh, yeah he made another Ring, Forgot that! Sorry!::
::Then, zipping through a bit of time, some 2500 years or so, Gollum **GOSH HE SO DAMNED HOT** I mean, er.This Gollum person killed somebody for the Ring. It stayed with that hottie-- I MEAN SCREWED UP LIFE FORM ::looks around innocently::
for about oh..say...500 years I think::. Gollum: "My preciousssssss"
::Then Bilbo Baghead..I MEAN BAGGINS! Found the Ring and took it home for 60 years.::
::Then his heir dude, Frodo, got it and made his journey to Rivendell where along the way he got stabbed and got to 'ride' with a babe named Arwen::. Arwen (facing Ringwraiths): If you want me, COME AND CLAIM ME! (Ringwraiths all turn around and run after she opens her shirt..all except one.) Ringwraith: Can I claim you? (Quickly realizing his error for mistaking Arwen for Sauron, he turns around and follows the rest of his kind)
::They get to Rivendell and hold this council thing. They chose the Fellowship, which consisted of Frodo the Ring-bearer, Legolas and Figwit the Elves, Pippin and Merry too, Renee the Not-so-fair-to-look-upon, Kelrod the centaur THAT'S ME! I mean..Kelrod the centaur lady, Aragorn the Ranger, Gandalf the Wizard HE'S HITTING ON FRODO! Uh...I mean.. and Bill the pony. GO BILL!!!:: So anyways, they set out from Rivendell and all and they're walking and stuff. Then they get to get spotted by a bunch of flying deformed crows I MEAN CREABAIN from this neato place called Dunland.
Gandalf: Uh...I guess ::cough cough:: that'll we'll..uh..have to uh...climb over that mountain because uh..I'm the wizard dude who is old and stuff.
::So, the Fellowship starts to climb the mountain Gandalf named "The Thingy With Snow On It." Then it gets too cold. Legolas, Figwit, Bill and Kelrod has no complaints though. THEY'RE SO PERFECT!!! I mean...Renee the not-so- fair-to-look-upon had this idea that they should go underneath the mountain and told the rest of the Fellowship that they should. Then Gimli started to get jealous that Renee actually knew something and started to talk about how he knew his cousin Balin and how he was the King of Moria and all, when in reality he had just read it all in this book called "Lord of the Rings for Dummies"
Frodo ::Stands there shivering and nods::
So, then they go to Moria and Kelrod THAT'S ME!!!! Finds a way in and lets the thingy in the water eat Figwit. She wasn't really paying attention to him. So anyways, they get into Moria and they then get to some tomb place, battle a cave troll and all that worthless info. Then Gandalf slipped off the edge of this bridge thing, being the crazy old coot he was.
Gandalf's last words: I've been waiting my whole miserable life for this day! I mean.er...I'm going to die now. The audience can cry and..WHAT THE HELL I'll let go now!
And so Gandalf "died" and then they all get to this place called Lothlorien and the Elves there almost shot the whole Fellowship BASTARDS! I mean..what mistaken Elves. SO they all get to go see this person called Galadriel and Gimli even got to get a few souvenirs.such as three pieces of Galadriel's hair and Galadriel lost something too..(hint hint). So, anyway. The Fellowship continues on, but before leaving Lothlorien, each of the people of the Fellowship got a gift. Yes, that's right they got presents. And they got to be "redressed" in Elvish clothing. Legolas and Figwit got these really great bows and some neato new arrow sets that were so neat! They gave Frodo some screwy light up thing that was probably a night-light. Kelrod gots this neato Spear thing that was magical and all. Renee got absolutely nothing, so she took a rock. (those are all the characters I remember)
THE END OF CHAPTER ONE
Will the Fellowship survive their next journey?
Will their boats be tipped over by the hottie named Gollum?
And will I remember the rest of the characters?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Aren't you excited?
::it all started with Eru::
:: He created a few Elves, a few Dwarves and some kind of race with no pointy ears or FORM OF NICENESS WHATSOEVER ::cough cough:: I mean....a few men
The Eru dude also created these wizard people who had magical powers.. It WAS REALLY NEAT! I mean, er.....he created the Istari, who were wizard people and gave them that funky name::
And one day, he decided that these 'beings' didn't wanna just float around in space, so he created this planet, and on this planet he made two neat neato continents; Middle earth, and the Undying Lands (I WANNA GO THERE) I mean........okay. Getting back to the story. Well, zipping through time a BIT, this dude Sauron made some Rings.....
Then he gave a portion to each race. The Elves of course complained a little about getting fewer Rings than anyone else, but Sauron took out his sword and they all shut up
Then, zipping ahead A BIT, Isuldur cut off Sauron's finger and got the Ring. ::
Everyone: "WHAT RING???"
::Oh, yeah he made another Ring, Forgot that! Sorry!::
::Then, zipping through a bit of time, some 2500 years or so, Gollum **GOSH HE SO DAMNED HOT** I mean, er.This Gollum person killed somebody for the Ring. It stayed with that hottie-- I MEAN SCREWED UP LIFE FORM ::looks around innocently::
for about oh..say...500 years I think::. Gollum: "My preciousssssss"
::Then Bilbo Baghead..I MEAN BAGGINS! Found the Ring and took it home for 60 years.::
::Then his heir dude, Frodo, got it and made his journey to Rivendell where along the way he got stabbed and got to 'ride' with a babe named Arwen::. Arwen (facing Ringwraiths): If you want me, COME AND CLAIM ME! (Ringwraiths all turn around and run after she opens her shirt..all except one.) Ringwraith: Can I claim you? (Quickly realizing his error for mistaking Arwen for Sauron, he turns around and follows the rest of his kind)
::They get to Rivendell and hold this council thing. They chose the Fellowship, which consisted of Frodo the Ring-bearer, Legolas and Figwit the Elves, Pippin and Merry too, Renee the Not-so-fair-to-look-upon, Kelrod the centaur THAT'S ME! I mean..Kelrod the centaur lady, Aragorn the Ranger, Gandalf the Wizard HE'S HITTING ON FRODO! Uh...I mean.. and Bill the pony. GO BILL!!!:: So anyways, they set out from Rivendell and all and they're walking and stuff. Then they get to get spotted by a bunch of flying deformed crows I MEAN CREABAIN from this neato place called Dunland.
Gandalf: Uh...I guess ::cough cough:: that'll we'll..uh..have to uh...climb over that mountain because uh..I'm the wizard dude who is old and stuff.
::So, the Fellowship starts to climb the mountain Gandalf named "The Thingy With Snow On It." Then it gets too cold. Legolas, Figwit, Bill and Kelrod has no complaints though. THEY'RE SO PERFECT!!! I mean...Renee the not-so- fair-to-look-upon had this idea that they should go underneath the mountain and told the rest of the Fellowship that they should. Then Gimli started to get jealous that Renee actually knew something and started to talk about how he knew his cousin Balin and how he was the King of Moria and all, when in reality he had just read it all in this book called "Lord of the Rings for Dummies"
Frodo ::Stands there shivering and nods::
So, then they go to Moria and Kelrod THAT'S ME!!!! Finds a way in and lets the thingy in the water eat Figwit. She wasn't really paying attention to him. So anyways, they get into Moria and they then get to some tomb place, battle a cave troll and all that worthless info. Then Gandalf slipped off the edge of this bridge thing, being the crazy old coot he was.
Gandalf's last words: I've been waiting my whole miserable life for this day! I mean.er...I'm going to die now. The audience can cry and..WHAT THE HELL I'll let go now!
And so Gandalf "died" and then they all get to this place called Lothlorien and the Elves there almost shot the whole Fellowship BASTARDS! I mean..what mistaken Elves. SO they all get to go see this person called Galadriel and Gimli even got to get a few souvenirs.such as three pieces of Galadriel's hair and Galadriel lost something too..(hint hint). So, anyway. The Fellowship continues on, but before leaving Lothlorien, each of the people of the Fellowship got a gift. Yes, that's right they got presents. And they got to be "redressed" in Elvish clothing. Legolas and Figwit got these really great bows and some neato new arrow sets that were so neat! They gave Frodo some screwy light up thing that was probably a night-light. Kelrod gots this neato Spear thing that was magical and all. Renee got absolutely nothing, so she took a rock. (those are all the characters I remember)
THE END OF CHAPTER ONE
Will the Fellowship survive their next journey?
Will their boats be tipped over by the hottie named Gollum?
And will I remember the rest of the characters?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Aren't you excited?