Sins of the Great-grandmothers
Chapter Three
By Ron Hino


Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. She has made lots and lots of money off it, and I'm not making a penny. Damn shame too.

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Nodoka and Cologne sat in the restaurant of the small, yet tasteful hotel, enjoying breakfast, and getting to know each other a little better. Between Nodoka's estrangement from her son and the abrupt wedding, a great many traditions had been ignored. Not the least of these was the Omiai: the meeting of the parents. Nodoka wanted to know everything about Shampoo, and about the village where her son was going to be living. Cologne didn't really have much to ask Nodoka about Ranma, since she knew him better than his mother did, but she was quite eager to learn more about the woman herself, to whom she was developing a liking.

"How late are they going to sleep?" Cologne complained in an amused tone.

Nodoka laughed merrily. "Oh, let them enjoy themselves! It's not as though they're getting much of a honeymoon."

Cologne nodded sadly. "True enough. We don't have such a tradition in our village, beyond allowing two weeks time away from their duties to the tribe, to 'enjoy themselves', as you put it. It is unfortunate that we must hurry to China to avoid Ranma's other suitors. Their new marriage aside, I am certain Son-in-law would like more time to get to know his mother."

Nodoka sighed sadly. "As would I. Of course, there's also this secret 'condition' of his. I don't want to understand that until I can rid myself of that foolish promise. If I knew, then I might be bound by honor to take his life." Nodoka turned her head aside, glancing morosely at the restaurant's decorations. "I wish I could say with confidence that whatever it is wouldn't matter, but without knowing, I can't be certain."

Cologne looked at her with sympathy. "I wish I could say the same. Ranma is a noble man, the best warrior I've seen in a hundred years, but this 'condition' is quite serious."

Nodoka squeezed her eyes tight. "Not knowing is tearing up my heart! How bad could this thing be? He seems so strong and virile! I can see easily by the way he looks at your great-granddaughter that he's not homosexual, so what could it be that calls his manhood into question?"

Cologne sighed, choosing her words carefully. "It is not something so close to his nature. His problem is more... superficial. A change of the surface that does not effect his heart. Be at ease, Nodoka-san. From what I have seen of you thus far, when you are told, you will not be so heartbroken that you would reject your son."

Nodoka's sharp mind was working, quite against her will. "A change of the surface... You don't mean... some horrible accident happened to his... manhood?" She asked in wide-eyed horror.

Cologne gave her a guarded look. "I thought you didn't want to know yet?"

Nodoka swallowed and nodded. "Of course. Forgive me."

Cologne nodded. "While I can't tell you what it is, I can certainly say this much. Shampoo has likely spent most of the night ascertaining that his 'manhood' works quite well, so you needn't fear in that respect. Now, I think we should turn the subject to other matters, to avoid more speculation on Son-in-law's 'condition'."

Nodoka smiled. "Yes, you're quite right. I'm so relieved to hear even that much! Perhaps grandchildren will be in my future soon!" She chuckled happily.

Her cheer drained away at Cologne's grim expression. "Wha... what is it?"

"I must regrettably inform you, Nodoka-san, that unless a cure can be found for Shampoo, your grandchildren will have to wait until Son-in-law remarries. The tragedy that has cut short her life will also prevent her from conceiving children."

Nodoka brought a hand to her mouth in horror. "Oh no! She must be heartbroken!"

Cologne looked away. "Ranma and I have not yet found the heart to tell her of that particular side effect. To be told will be devastating to her, and we did not wish to destroy her wedding bliss so soon. In a year or so perhaps, when she is becoming more concerned with such matters, we shall have to tell her, but for now..."

Nodoka nodded solemnly. "I understand. Of course you are correct. She shall not hear a word of it from me.

"I thank you, Nodoka-san. We have not told her that she has only three years to live either. Shampoo's time left is so brief! Both Ranma and I are in agreement that her last years should be filled with as much happiness as possible."

Nodoka again nodded. "Then we shall do all in our power to make it so. Is there no hope for a cure?"

Cologne sighed. "A small sliver only. The witch who attempted to kill me is an expert in giving curses, not in curing them. When Shampoo jumped in front of the spell to save me, my old enemy was touched by her act. Or perhaps she was merely impressed by your Ranma and I threatening to rip her arms off. In either case, she agreed to research a cure, but she remains highly skeptical that one can be found."

"I see. What exactly is this 'curse'?" Nodoka asked gently.

"I suppose I could try an explain it, though you might not believe me." Cologne sighed. "She possessed Shampoo with a demon that is slowly eating her soul. Because her heart is kind and pure, it will take the demon much longer to devour her than it would have myself. Two or three years, Duck said, and for the last few months she will be bedridden. The happier she remains, the longer she will remain strong and healthy, but for no longer than three years. That is another reason why we wish her to be happy."

Nodoka shook her head. "It seems so bizarre; curses, demons, magic..."

"There are more things lost and forgotten in this world than one such as you, who lives in a city of technological wonders, can possibly imagine. Other places, with longer histories, such as our village, have retained more knowledge of such things over the millennia. Magic is very real, Nodoka-san, though it is rarely encountered except in certain places."

Nodoka seemed to believe her. "I shall take your word for it, Honored Elder."

The old woman nodded. "See that you do. You shall see more of magic before long, I suspect."

Nodoka blinked, uncomprehending, but the aged matriarch said nothing more.

The two looked up as Shampoo walked into the restaurant and joined them. She seemed to wince a bit as sat down, but that had no impact upon the grin she wore. The gorgeous sunshine of a new spring day paled in comparison to the glow about Shampoo's features! Her smile was so big it looked painful... and permanent!

"Good morning Great-grandmother, and New Mother too."

"Good morning, Shampoo." Nodoka smiled slyly. "Did you... sleep well?"

Shampoo giggled. "Sleep? What that?"

The older women laughed with her.

Shampoo turned to Cologne. "Shampoo want thank Great-grandmother for book of sex technique she give Ranma. We is half-way through it already!"

"Good lord..." Cologne muttered. The printing of the Kama Sutra she'd given him was roughly three centimeters thick.

Nodoka chuckled in happy embarrassment. "I take it you are pleased with my son's... abilities then?"

Shampoo burst into giggles and nodded enthusiastically. "He little awkward at first, but husband always learn quickly! Have such stamina too!"

"Do spare us the details, at least." Cologne said dryly. "We are content that you enjoyed yourself."

Shampoo began giggling again, apparently having no great desire to stop.

"Where is my son, Shampoo-chan?" Nodoka asked eventually.

Shampoo looked behind her, frowning slightly. "He coming. Why he take so long?"

Their answer came soon as Ranma stumbled into the restaurant. He looked like the victim of an overzealous vampire, or Miss Hinako. From his gaunt appearance, one might think someone had sucked out every last drop of his bodily fluids (which wasn't too far from the truth -_^).

"Goodness! Are you alright dear?" Nodoka smirked.

"Foooooood!" Ranma groaned, as he slumped into a chair. His mother chuckled and signaled the waiter.

Cologne tsked. "Poor lad. I almost feel bad about reminding him that Shampoo will likely want to finish that book tonight." She smirked cruelly.

Ranma's eyes went wide. Then he let his face fall onto the table and began to sob.

Shampoo floated in her cloud of bliss.

***

1:00 p.m. saw the group entering Narita International Airport.

"Oh, my son! I can't believe you're leaving so soon!" Nodoka sobbed, clutching her son to her desperately.

"I know, Mom." Ranma said sadly. "It seems like we've just met."

Nodoka blinked. "Ranma, we *have* just met."

Ranma scratched the back of his head, chuckling awkwardly. "Oh right. That's probably why then."

Nodoka smiled and shook her head. She turned to Shampoo and embraced her daughter-in-law with much emotion.

"And Shampoo-chan... I didn't even get a chance to really get to know you either! This is so unfair."

Shampoo sniffled. "Shampoo hate this too! Mother die when only four. Shampoo so happy to have mother again, but now have to leave country!"

"I'm afraid there's no help for it." Cologne sighed, hardly indifferent to any of their feelings. "We cannot stay here. There are too many who would make it impossible for the two of you to be happy. In China, at least, we should be out of their reach, and if they do come, we will have the benefit of the entire village backing your marriage."

Ranma's eyes shone with unshed tears as he hugged his mother one last time. "Well... I guess this is goodbye. I promise I'll write often. You make sure to send me letters too. It seems like a really cheap way to get to know my own mother, but it's all I've got."

Nodoka sniffed and nodded. "Of course, my son. You'll get a letter from me every week, at least!"

Shampoo watched the pair, not bothering to hide her own tears. This was awful! She didn't want it to be this way!

"Shampoo no can do this!" She blurted suddenly.

The other three turned to look at her in surprise.

"What do you mean, Shampoo?" Cologne asked in concern.

Shampoo sniffed. "No can do this! No can take Ranma away from Mother! Not now! Is too too sad! If have to leave New Mother behind, Shampoo rather stay here! Even if have to fight with other girls every day, Shampoo will stay here with Ranma and Ranma mother!"

Cologne and Ranma glanced at each other. All the jealousy and anger that fighting with Ranma's former fiancées would evoke would bleed away Shampoo's brief life remaining in no time!

"That is unacceptable, Shampoo." Cologne said firmly. "For you to be happy, we must go to China and remain out of reach of those silly girls. Besides that, I have neglected my duties to the village for far too long. We must return to China!"

"NO!" Shampoo shouted angrily. "Shampoo say no!"

To their horror, Shampoo seemed to waver on her feet, growing dizzy. The girl clutched her head in pain and confusion.

"SHAMPOO!" Ranma cried out in alarm, rushing to her side. "You've got to calm down, Shampoo! Please!" He swallowed. "If... if you feel that strongly about it, we'll... we'll work something out, I promise!"

Shampoo seemed to relax, coming back to her feet slowly. "What... what happen?" She turned to Cologne, her eyes wide with fear. "Great-grandmother! What wrong with Shampoo! Get all dizzy for no reason!"

Cologne sighed. "Forgive me, Shampoo, for not telling you, but I did not wish to cast a shadow upon your wedding bliss."

Shampoo looked even more worried. "What you talking? What you no tell Shampoo?"

Nodoka tugged her lip in worry, but remained silent. It was not her place to say anything.

Ranma wore a miserable expression as Cologne looked sadly at her dear great-grandchild. "The spell you were hit with did not work as it was meant to. I told you that before. However, there were side-effects that may very well be with you the rest of your... of your life."

Shampoo trembled in silence. Ranma stood behind her and held her gently. Nodoka allowed herself a small smile of pride. However brief their time together, she knew that her son would be a good husband to Shampoo.

"In an attempt to cripple my fighting power, part of the spell Duck used disables you when you grow angry... or jealous. You will feel dizzy and disoriented for a time, and in the heat of battle, that can be fatal. In this condition, even Akane Tendou might defeat you, even accidentally bring you serious harm. The girl is not known for her restraint."

The frightened girl shook. "Shampoo... Shampoo can no be warrior any more?"

Cologne shook her head. "Don't jump to conclusions. You can still be a warrior of our tribe, even continue to be my heir. All this means is that you must master better control of your emotions. Losing one's head in the middle of a fight can cost anyone a battle. It is merely more serious in your case."

Shampoo seemed to calm down slightly. "Shampoo... Shampoo understand. Must train harder!"

Cologne smiled, relived. "Indeed. I shall help you, Great-granddaughter."

"And me too." Ranma grinned. "I'm really looking forward to training with you, Shampoo-chan. Can't have the wife of Ranma Saotome be anything but the best, right?"

Shampoo beamed proudly up at him. "Is so!"

Cologne nodded curtly. "Well, that's settled then. Let's get going."

Shampoo frowned. "Is no settled!"

"Shampoo! Calm down!" Ranma said firmly in her ear, his comforting arms still wrapped around her. Her eyes widened. She swallowed and nodded.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Shampoo began again. "Shampoo still not accept leave New Mother behind."

Cologne groaned. Her great-granddaughter could be so stubborn when she felt passionately about something.

Ranma blinked and looked up at his mother. "Hey! What if... I mean... Mom, would it be possible for you to come with us? I know I've got no right to ask you to just uproot your whole life all of a sudden, but-"

His mother cut him off. "Oh, Ranma! You *are* my whole life. I have friends here, of course, even a small job working at a teahouse, but none of these things are anywhere near as important to me as my son! For 16 years I've sat alone in my house at night, thinking about you and how you might be doing. I'm afraid I don't do much else. I've been alone for so long... I would love to come with you and Shampoo-chan!" She paused and turned to bow respectfully to Cologne. "If you would have me, Honored Elder."

The old woman burst into laughter. "Our tribe would be all the richer for adding one such as you to our ranks, Nodoka Saotome. It would be my honor and my delight to welcome you into our tribe. Be sure to bring that sword of yours with you! We *are* a tribe of warrior women, after all."

Nodoka giggled daintily. "I suppose I could, though I think I should point out that I've never been trained to fight with it."

"That is easily remedied." Cologne chuckled. "I can think of three tribeswomen off the top of my head who are experienced with Japanese katana. Your nation makes rather fine blades, after all."

"Goodness, how exciting!" Nodoka chuckled. "Oh my! This is so sudden! I've never been to China. I don't even speak a word of Chinese!"

Shampoo gently pulled away from Ranma and took both of Nodoka's hands in hers, smiling excitedly. "Shampoo honored for teach Mother-in-law speak Mandarin!"

Nodoka beamed down at her new daughter-in-law. "Then it seems I'll be well taken care of. It's settled then!"

Ranma grinned. "This is perfect! We can take all the time we need to catch up! Come on, let's buy you a ticket!"

*BONK*

"Do you think your mother might want to collect a bit of luggage before she *emigrates*, Son-in-law?" Cologne asked sarcastically.

"Ow. Oh yeah..."

Nodoka nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid I do have a few affairs that need to be set in order before I can go. I need a passport, for one thing. Then there are the divorce papers I still haven't received. This may take some time."

Ranma looked downcast. "So you won't be able to come with us today then?"

Nodoka smiled sadly at her son. "I'm afraid that would be impossible. Fear not, however. I promise I'll join you in one week, and not a day more!"

Cologne nodded. "Than we shall wait for you in Hong Kong. From there, we'll be catching another flight to Western China. After that, I'm afraid modern conveniences begin to drop off the farther into the wilderness we go. Pack a good pair of hiking shoes, my dear. It's a few days worth of camping and hiking to get to our remote village."

Nodoka blinked. "Oh my. I've never camped before. Is it fun?"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. Mosquitoes, mud, sleeping on the hard ground, chasing rabbits through the bushes to catch your dinner..."

Nodoka put a hand to her mouth. "Oh dear..."

Cologne chuckled. "Never fear, Nodoka-san. You'll be traveling with three experts. Ranma and Shampoo will handle all the hard stuff. It is not an easy journey, but once we arrive, you'll find our village a very nice place to live."

Nodoka smiled. "I've no doubt." She gave Ranma and Shampoo one last hug, encircling them both in her arms. "I'll see you in Hong Kong in one week, dears. Wait for me."

"We will." Ranma said, smiling happily.

"Shampoo can no wait to show you pretty places in homeland! You be happy living with Amazons! You see!"

"I'm already growing quite fond of two of them, or three, I suppose." Nodoka said, a twinkle in her eye as she looked at her son. "Goodbye then. See you soon!"

Ranma waved happily as she walked away. "Bye Mom!"

Shampoo, her arm around Ranma's waist, as his was around hers, looked wistfully at the departing woman. She looked up at her husband's smiling face.

"Ranma happy now?"

He grinned down at her and picked her up by the waist, twirling her around to her happy embarrassment. He brought her down into a heartfelt embrace. "Shampoo, I don't think I've ever been happier!" He said, and meant it too.

Shampoo sighed in contentment as she lay her head on Ranma's shoulder and hugged him back. She lifted her head and closed her eyes...

*BONK* *BONK*

"If you two start kissing, we'll miss our flight!" Cologne scolded them half-heartedly. "There's only an hour and a half until it leaves."

***

Genma Saotome sat alone at the table in the family room, reading the awful letter yet again. Every so often, his eyes trailed toward the small stack of legal documents beside him.

What the hell had happened to bring things to this?

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Dear Genma,
I have recently received a letter from my son, the first ever. It was quite long for a boy whose education has been so callously ignored, do to his irresponsible father's influence. In it, Ranma went into a fair amount of detail concerning all of your many failings as a father. It was quite a long list.
Genma Saotome, you have failed to take proper care of my child. You are a horrible father, and a sorry excuse for a man. I no longer wish to associate with you in any way. Please sign these divorce papers, and release me from the last of my obligations as your wife.
In return for this, I shall tear up the promise you made to raise Ranma to be a man among men. My son would not tell me the exact nature of the problem which casts his manliness into doubt, but all else that the letter tells me of him brings me to the conclusion that he is indeed a man among men, despite the fact that it was a worm among men who raised him. As best I can tell without knowing this condition of Ranma's, you have indeed somehow managed to fulfill that vow. You have, however, completely failed him as a father.
While there is still doubt that I might not be able to forgive this mysterious problem of Ranma's, I cannot afford to spend any great amount of time with him, lest I discover it. Upon receiving the signed papers I have provided you with, I will destroy the promise, and at last be free to spend all the time I lost during his childhood with my son. It is my fervent wish that he spend as little time with you as possible, but I suppose that is his choice, not mine.
In regard to the engagement of my son to Akane Tendou, I think it should be considered officially ended. While I provisionally approved of it at first, in my eagerness to see my son happily married, what he has told me in his letter gives me strong doubt that the pair could be truly happy together. Ranma has made his choice to marry this girl Shampoo, and I fully intend to respect his decision. When I have a chance to meet the girl myself, I will hopefully be able to approve of her officially. Whether or not you approve of her is of no consequence. You have lost all right to have any say in how Ranma lives his life.
Sign the papers Genma, and then do whatever you wish with the rest of your life. Continue to lie, cheat, and steal to your heart's content. I no longer care what you do, except as it might affect my son.
Farewell.
Nodoka

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Genma starred grimly at the letter, and then the damn papers. How could this have happened? Damn that foolish boy! First he vanishes, leaving behind nothing but a letter saying he was going to marry that damn Chinese tramp. Now this!

He had surely wasted his time raising the ungrateful boy! Didn't he know that his father knew what was best for him? That foolish boy had brought him nothing but trouble! Now he'd even destroyed his father's marriage! Oh, the ungratitude! Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to cut his ties to the boy, though he was reluctant to do so with Nodoka. Memories of her fabulous cooking still haunted his dreams.

Damn fool woman! So what if he'd made a mistake or two bringing up the boy? No one was perfect! He'd like to have seen how well she could have done raising the boy alone. He certainly wouldn't be as good a martial artist as he was now! Everything Genma had done had been necessary to make Ranma into the fighter he was today! Even Jyusenkyo, though he admitted that that accident had brought its share of difficulties as well. It also put Ranma in situations that brought scores of challengers to test his skill and force him to improve! What the hell was the problem with that?

Well, Genma wasn't about to let the damn boy screw up his happy marriage to Nodoka! He wasn't going to sign the papers! Let's see what she does then!

Genma's confidence began to fail him as he considered what she *would* do. He saw himself cringing on the floor beneath her, her sword held high and her face a mask of righteous feminine fury! She still had the seppuku pledge too, and she might try to only invoke his half of it.

Genma swallowed. Maybe he should reconsider this.

Sighing in defeat, he slowly picked up the pen and set the papers in front of him. He stared at them for a long time, but unfortunately they ignored his desire for them to vanish into thin air. Reluctantly, he put his name to it, pulling out his hanko and marking the paper with his seal.

Damn woman! If only she didn't have that sword!

Genma blinked. Wait a minute, the sword Nodoka carried was the Saotome family honor blade. If she removed herself from the family register, she would lose all right to carry it. With the sword gone, her threats became more or less empty. If he could just get it away from her... No. While she was still a Saotome, she had every right to wield it in her duty to protect the clan's honor, even against her own husband. If he divorced her, he could take it away from her, but then he'd already have lost her.

Damn!

Inspiration struck him. He pushed the legal papers aside and fetched some writing paper from a drawer in the hallway. Sitting down again, he began to write.

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Dear Nodoka,
It saddens me greatly that you believe I have failed Ranma as a father. His life was certainly not easy, but it was never meant to be. Everything I did to him molded him into the superb warrior he is today. It is said that a lion will push it's own cubs down a cliff, and raise only the ones strong enough to climb back up. I had only one son, so I pushed him over a lot of cliffs.
If you are too soft a woman to understand this, then it is your loss. I have no wish to end our marriage, but since you insist, I have signed the papers. If you come to your senses, feel free to tear them up, and I will gladly forgive you your foolishness.
However, if for some bizarre reason you decide to continue this brainless course of action, you must cease to carry the Saotome honor blade, and return it to me. You have no right to carry it. You have placed a condition on my signing of these papers; this is mine.
-Genma

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There, he thought proudly. That should show the fool woman! She would never wish to let go of that sword. She had carried it from the day they were married, and it meant far too much to her. Certainly, she would tear up the papers, and the fact that he had signed them would show her how serious he was. Sometimes a husband just had to be firm with his wife to keep her in line.

Laughing at his own cleverness, Genma the idiot stuffed his letter and the divorce papers back in the envelope they'd come in. Then he re-glued it shut and wrote 'wrong address: return to sender' on the front.

No sense wasting money on a stamp if he didn't have to, right?

A pity (for him at least) that he had not bothered to read the small print of the papers he'd signed, which declared quite plainly that he was also giving over full custody of his son (who was still technically a minor) to his former wife. There was also mention of a restraining order...

***

"I beg your pardon?" Nodoka asked the disinterested man behind the government desk.

"I said, it will take one month to process your request for a passport." He repeated irritably.

She frowned at him. "Perhaps you do not understand. I am leaving for China in six days. I promised my son I would be there. I can't wait a month."

He scowled at her. "Perhaps *you* don't understand! Look lady, it takes time to do all the record checks and paperwork to produce a passport. If you wanted to leave in six days, you should have come three weeks ago, at least."

"Surely it can't take that long to fill my name into a little booklet." Nodoka insisted.

He snorted. "Well it does, so fill out the damn form and come back in a month. I ain't got time to waste on some daffy broad. I've got things to do."

*SHIIIINK*

The rude man gulped as his eyes crossed to stare at the sword point lightly poking him in the nose (Nodoka had been practicing a little. Unfortunately, the only part she was any good at so far was the draw, but the obstinate civil servant didn't need to know that ^_-).

"I don't believe you heard me correctly." She said, her voice as cold as the steel she wielded. "I am leaving for China in six days. When will my passport be ready?"

He swallowed. "You can pick it up tomorrow afternoon."

Nodoka sheathed her blade and smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you ever so much for your understanding of my situation."

"N-no problem." He muttered.

"I'll just fill out this form then. Do you have a pen?"

He reached into his suit jacket. "Take mine."

"Why thank you. Such a polite young man! Our nation is well-served by considerate civil workers such as you."

"Um... thanks."

As she bowed and had a seat in the waiting room to do the form, he slumped back in his chair and groaned. Why hadn't he said two or three days? He was going to be up all night!

***

Akane sat on her chair in her room, laying her head on the desk and staring morosely at the wall. Occasionally, she glanced at the folded letter he'd left for her, before vanishing like a thief in the night. She didn't read it through again, however, as its words were permanently etched in her mind.

That baka!

She was not completely without sympathy for Shampoo's position, if in fact she was dying. Akane wouldn't put it past the bimbo to make up such a wild story just to trick Ranma into coming along with her. He was certainly too stupid to figure it out if she had.

Well, three years from now he'd find out for sure, but by then he'd have been married to her for years, and probably knee-deep in squalling brats by that Chinese slut! Ranma had too much honor to abandon a woman he'd had children by, and Shampoo and the old woman were well aware of this. He'd be trapped there for the rest of his life!

Sighing sadly, she thought back to that one page that kept replaying itself in her mind...

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This last page, Akane, is just for you. Don't let anyone else in the family read it, unless you really want them to.

It might just be my ego talking, but I think my leaving might hurt you. If that's true, then I'm sorry, really sorry. I ain't dumb enough to say something like 'I love you' or that I know you love me, but I think there was definitely something between us. Just what, I'm not sure. I don't think I ever really understood you, or your feelings, and that makes me kinda sad. I wonder, if I had, maybe we wouldn't have fought so much, maybe we might even have gotten married and been happy. The way things were though, I don't think we could have been.
Seems a shame.
We fought all the time, but every now and then, you'd smile at me, and look like you really meant it. It didn't happen that often, so I don't really know what it means, but since I'm leaving, I thought I'd tell you something:
You're cute when you smile, really.
I guess it's a lot easier to say this in a letter than to your face, I don't know why. I do know that I'm gonna miss you a little. Not your cooking, or your hitting me in the head for things that ain't my fault, but you know, all the same.
Goodbye Akane. Try not to miss me too much. I don't know if I'll ever come back, but just in case I don't, I don't want you to wait for me or nothing. Get yourself a nice boyfriend and be happy. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but Ryouga's had a crush on you since like, forever. He's just too shy to tell you. He's an idiot, and I don't know how he could show up on time for a date with his sense of direction, but you could do worse.
I guess there's not much else I can say. Goodbye, Akane.
-Ranma
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Akane sighed to herself. An arrogant jerk right up to the end. Like she was really going to miss that baka!

So why did she feel so miserable?

She shook her head. She wasn't going to let this get her down. So what if he'd left her for another woman? She'd known she was too good for that baka from the first day! She could find a guy on her own that was better than him! It wasn't like that would be hard, he was hardly a prince on a white horse. She wouldn't miss his insults, that was for sure! She was certain she could find a nice guy who would treat her right.

Ryouga was pretty nice...

Akane blushed and shook her head. No way! Ryouga was just her friend. He liked her, but not like that! Ranma must have gotten the wrong idea. It wouldn't surprise her, that baka!

Still, Ryouga was kind of cute too...

Her face burning, Akane shook her head again. Ryouga was shy; Ranma had gotten that part right. If she asked him, he'd be horribly embarrassed! She shouldn't do that to a friend.

Then again, there had been that whole mess with the waterproof soap. Ryouga had seemed to go along with that date nonsense without much complaint. Maybe Ranma had a point?

Akane sighed tiredly. "This is silly, I'm going to bed. Coming P-chan?"

The little black piglet squealed happily and jumped onto the foot of her bed, turning his back to her (as he always did when he was fortunate enough to get a warning) while she changed into her pajamas.

Once she was changed, she slid into bed and snuggled P-chan under the covers.

'Ryouga, huh?'

***

Konatsu tried and failed to restrain his employer without actually hurting her (and since there was no way the kunoichi could bring himself to harm his beloved, it follows that Ukyou went largely unrestrained). "Ukyou-sama! Please try to calm down!"

"Calm down!" Ukyou slurred. "Why the fuck should I calm down! That idiot Ranchan ran off with that Chinese bimbo and left his cute fiancée here all alone! I can't believe that jackass let the slut and the old mummy trick him like this!"

After she'd read the letter from Ranma last night, she'd cried herself to sleep. Tonight, she'd apparently decided to drown her sorrows with half the restaurant's supply of sake instead. Konatsu had wisely decided to leave out the 'closed' sign this morning, so that Ukyou could grieve in private. Customers might lose respect for both the restaurant and its owner if they saw Ukyou like this.

Konatsu tried to sooth his dear Ukyou, without much success. "Ukyou-sama, Ranma-sama seemed very certain that Shampoo-sama was indeed dying. He went with her so that she could die happily. I already told you he was worried about your feelings before he left. Doesn't that make you happy?"

"Happy!" Ukyou snorted, standing up unsteadily and hurling the empty bottle against a wall. It shattered to pieces. Konatsu winced. He'd have to clean that up later. "Why the hell should I be happy? If he really gave a damn about me, he wouldn't have left!"

"But then Shampoo-sama would die all alone. Do you really want that, even for your rival?"

"BAH! Ukyou snorted. "Who cares about that bitch! She can die however she wants, as long as she stays away from my Ranchan! Why should I care about her?"

"Oh Ukyou-sama! You don't really mean that! You're too kind a person to be so callous!"

"I do too mean it!" Ukyou snapped, sitting down hard in her chair again and trying unsuccessfully to open another bottle.

Konatsu looked sadly at her. "No you don't, not really. You're just upset right now (and very very drunk, I should add). If you were really that sort of person, then Ranma wouldn't care about you the way that he does."

Somehow, that seemed sink through the veil of alcohol in Ukyou's brain. Her angry expression dissolved, and she burst into tears.

"Whaaa! Ranma doesn't love me!" She sobbed, burying her face in her arms and slumping forward onto the table.

Konatsu sighed and knelt down to hold Ukyou. The thoroughly plastered chef buried her face in the chest of the cross-dressed boy. "That's not true. You know very well that he cares for you."

"But he doesn't *LOVE* me!" Ukyou wailed into the tear-dampened material of his kimono.

Konatsu lay his head atop hers as he softly stroked her hair. "Well, I don't know that for certain, but then neither do you. You never know; three years from now, he might... he might come back and marry you." Konatsu whispered the last sadly.

Ukyou was far too drunk to notice the catch in his voice. She raised her head and looked into his face, her wet eyes pleading with him. "You really think so?"

Konatsu hugged her tighter to him. "We won't know until that day comes, but you shouldn't give up hope."

Ukyou nodded sadly, and buried her face in Konatsu's chest once more.

The kunoichi gave a sad smile, and rocked the crying chef gently. "I will wait with you, Ukyou-sama. You won't ever have to be alone. I promise you that much."

"*sniff* Thank you, Konatsu." Ukyou whispered through her tears.

As his beloved slowly began to calm down, and drift off to sleep, Konatsu continued to hold her, and softly stroke her hair. He stared off into space thoughtfully, wondering what the future would hold for him and his Ukyou-sama.

***

Ranma, Shampoo and Cologne waited together in the Hong Kong International Airport. The newlyweds sat as closely together as was physically possible, he with an arm around her shoulder, and she with her head leaning contently against his.

Cologne, for all that she approved of the match, was starting to get a little sick of watching the pair snuggle. She was glad they were both happy, but must they demonstrate it to the whole world? CONSTANTLY?

"Husband think Mother be okay on long trip?"

"No problem! She'll have us to help her, right?"

"Is so. Mother in good hands!" At Ranma's insistence, Shampoo had begun to refer to Nodoka as 'Mother', rather than 'Mother-in-Law' or even 'New Mother'. He was certain that his lonely mother would be delighted! Shampoo had no problem in getting more familiar with Nodoka. Ranma's mother was strong, dignified, sharp-witted and kind. Shampoo knew without a doubt that she could love Nodoka with all the affection she hadn't been able to give her own dearly departed mother.

As the woman in question came out of the arrival area, a small carry-on bag and her sword over her shoulder, she was suddenly glomped by both her son and her daughter-in-law. Though rather formal in her upbringing, Nodoka was finding that she didn't mind at all such familiarity from two people so dear to her heart. She was also reminding herself that customs were different in China, and was attempting to adapt gracefully. As it happened, hugging people you were fond of in public was less a Chinese custom, and more a Shampoo custom, but Nodoka would be a while in figuring that out. Smiling at them both, she hugged them back.

"It's good to see you both. How is married life?"

"Pretty good!" Ranma grinned.

Shampoo nodded eagerly, giving Nodoka a mischievous grin. "We spend whole week at nice hotel here in Hong Kong. Already going through Kama Sutra third time. Ranma get even better with more practice!"

"Ah geez, Shampoo!" Ranma blushed horribly. "Do you hafta talk about that with my mom right here?"

Nodoka chuckled at her son's embarrassment, though blushing a bit herself. "I'm glad that you are keeping your wife happy, my son."

Ranma chuckled, red-faced. "Yeah... It's a full-time job, I'll tell ya!"

Shampoo giggled and poked him in the ribs playfully. "Is too much for you, Airen?"

Ranma immediately scowled. "Hey! It is not! I'm the best!"

Shampoo giggled and hugged him. "Shampoo think she believe that! But husband should no get swollen head." She grinned up at him mischievously. "Least not head on shoulders!"

Ranma held his burning face in his hands and groaned. Shampoo laughed merrily.

Nodoka's lips curled with amusement. "Have they been like this the whole time?" She asked Cologne.

"Every single day." Cologne grumbled. "You can't take them anywhere!"

Shampoo stuck her tongue out at the old woman. "Great-grandmother just jealous!"

The old woman smirked. "I will admit it's been a long time since I had a stud like young Ranma. How about it, Sonny? Want to try out a more experienced woman for a night?"

Shampoo looked ill, Ranma much more so. "Oh man... Now that's a scary thought!" he shivered.

*BONK*

"You wouldn't say that if you'd seen me in my prime, boy." Cologne snorted. "I was quite popular with the boys, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. We've all heard about your bed-hopping days." Ranma muttered, giving the old woman a glare that said he hadn't forgotten how Shampoo had gotten possessed by the demon.

"Show some respect for your elders, Son-in-law. Once we're in the village, you'll find that mouthing off to council members will earn you something far worse than a little bump on the head. Not all my fellow elders are so gentle."

Ranma just rolled his eyes. Cologne turned to Nodoka. "How did things go with your husband, dear, or should I say former husband?"

Nodoka smirked. "You should indeed. I am now officially no longer a Saotome."

Ranma just scratched his cheek awkwardly, not sure what he should think about that. "Wow..." was all he said.

Nodoka didn't miss his dilemma. "Are you really that disappointed Ranma?"

Ranma fidgeted. "I'm not sure... I mean, I know he's a worthless idiot, but he's still... he's still my father. He's been with me my whole life. Not having him around... well... it's a big adjustment, at any rate."

Nodoka smiled sadly and gently touched her son's cheek. "I'm sorry I've hurt you Ranma, but I think it's better this way."

Ranma sighed and nodded. "It is. You're right about that. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or nothin'."

Nodoka smiled and hugged him gently. "You have every right to be upset with me over this, my son. Just don't stay upset too long."

Ranma smirked. "Who's upset? It ain't your fault anyway, right?"

Nodoka matched his smirk. "No, it isn't. Here. I got a letter from him in response to mine. Maybe reading it will make you feel better." She handed him the folded sheet of paper.

Ranma blinked and unfolded the note. Shampoo and Cologne read over his shoulders.

Ranma's features slowly slid from curiosity to outrage as he read. His hands began to tremble. "That... that bastard!"

Shampoo scowled as well. "Ranma right. Him big creep! Is good Mother leave stupid panda-man!"

"He's certainly a cocky bastard, I'll give him that." Cologne muttered darkly.

Nodoka smirked and shook her head. She no longer had enough emotional investment in the worthless man to feel offended by his stupidity. "He is right about one thing though, I have no right to continue to carry the Saotome family sword. I'm not about to give it to him, though. Your father's family has a long and illustrious history, Ranma, though Genma certainly fell far from the tree. Actually, I think his whole branch was rotten. You should meet his parents! On second thought, perhaps it's best you don't. Your grandparents on your father's side are so shady that *he's* embarrassed to be related to them!"

Ranma blinked. "That's hard to imagine."

Nodoka nodded, her eyebrows raised. "Isn't it? How about this: When they came to our wedding, they sneaked out in the middle of the ceremony with most of the silverware in their pockets."

Ranma groaned. "I'm related to people like that?"

Nodoka sighed. I'm afraid so, Ranma. In any case, Genma would only get the Saotome honor blade dirty with his shameless hands. I've decided to give it to another of the Saotome clan who would do the weapon justice." She held up the sword.

Ranma blinked. "Really? Who?"

Nodoka smirked at him. "You, of course." She held it out to him, in the proper ceremonial manner.

Ranma had only seen the ceremony for transferring a weapon from one samurai to another once, and on TV at that. Nonetheless, he managed to do his part properly, accepting the blade with a solemn expression. He drew out a few inches of steel from the scabbard, making a show of admiring its well-made and well-preserved edge.

"I thank you, Mother. I promise I will bring back the honor of the Saotome clan."

She smiled and nodded. "I have no doubt that you will, my son. That task is entirely upon your shoulders. I am no longer of the clan, and you are the only relation to it that I wish to honor."

Ranma smiled and nodded. That was enough to end the small ceremony.

"So, if you're not a Saotome any more, what's your name then?" He asked his mother.

She smiled proudly. "I am Nodoka Tenkawa, third and youngest daughter of the Kyoto Tenkawas. Our name means 'River of Heaven', and my family is one you can be proud to be part of, even if you don't carry its name yourself."

Ranma blinked. "So I'm not Ranma Tenkawa now?"

"Of course not, Ranma. You were Ranma Saotome when you were born, and you will be Ranma Saotome until the day you die." Nodoka blinked, turning to Cologne. "Unless it is custom among the Amazons to take on the name of the wife's family."

Cologne smiled and shook her head. "Names in China do not change when we marry, unless a woman marries a man from another land, and wishes to honor their customs. It is the same in the Amazon village. We may not get along that well with the Chinese government, but we are still Chinese. This is why Shampoo is still Shampoo, and not Saotome Pu."

Ranma blinked, trying to hide a smirk. "'Poo'? Your given name is 'Poo'?"

Shampoo blinked up at him. "Yes. Why that funny? Is fine name!"

Nodoka rolled her eyes. "I believe 'poo' means something rather crude in English, dear, but I don't see how that's at all relevant to you. Ranma, don't you dare make fun of your wife's name! I'm sure it means something completely different in Chinese."

Properly scolded, Ranma winced and straightened his face.

Shampoo nodded, frowning at her husband. "Name Xian Pu mean 'Girl of Mountains'. Is no funny name!"

Ranma nodded. "I'm sorry Shampoo. I didn't mean to laugh."

Shampoo nodded firmly, her arms folded. "Good. No make fun of wife, or Ranma find self sleeping alone!"

Ranma seemed to consider that. "For how long? I think I could stand to get a full night's sleep after the last week."

Nodoka put a hand to her forehead and sighed as Shampoo elbowed Ranma hard in the gut, bringing him to his knees. "Son, you have a lot to learn about talking to women."

"Indeed." Cologne chuckled. "But I suspect my great-granddaughter will be more than willing to instruct him on the finer points."

"Oooow! What'd I say?"

Shampoo huffed, turning her back to him and folding her arms. "If you no know, then you bigger idiot than Shampoo think!"

Her ire faded as she clutched her head in pain and fell to her knees.

"SHAMPOO!" Ranma cried in horror, rushing to her side.

Shaking in fear, Shampoo clutched him as he brought her back to her feet, her anger forgotten. "So scary when that happen! Ranma hold Shampoo!" She said, her voice trembling slightly.

Ranma held her gently to him. "Of course... Airen."

Letting out a breath of relief, Cologne looked sternly at the boy. "Son-in-law, you must be more careful with Shampoo's feelings. It could have very serious consequences to her health if this sort of thing were to happen too often."

Ranma swallowed and nodded seriously over his wife's shoulder. So far, it had only happened twice. Ranma wondered how much time that had cost her. Hours? Days? Weeks?

Cologne sighed and hopped up upon her staff. "Well, we should get going. We have to make our connecting flight. I arranged to have all your luggage transferred to the other plane already, so it should be no problem." She said to Nodoka.

The other woman bowed. "Thank you, Elder." She turned to the melancholy couple. "Are you two ready to leave?"

Ranma gave Shampoo a worried glance and then nodded.

"Yes, let's make sure to pry them off each other now before they start kissing again." Cologne remarked dryly. "Otherwise, heavy machinery might be required for the task."

Nodoka chuckled as Shampoo turned around and stuck her tongue out at her great-grandmother. "Nyeh!" Then the girl grinned.

Ranma was relieved to see his wife back in high spirits again. He mouthed a silent 'thank you' to the old woman. Cologne winked back at him. Keeping Shampoo in a playful mood wasn't all that hard, really.

***

The flight was much shorter than the one Nodoka had just come off of. A mere three hours in the air (and two sitting in the plane waiting for the crew to get their act together) landed them in a smaller airport in western China. From there, a rented and chauffeured van drove them as far as civilization went.

"Isn't this rather expensive?" Nodoka asked, during the long ride.

"Somewhat," Cologne answered, "but in addition to my own family's accumulated wealth, I have the tribe's resources to call upon if there is a need. So far, We've not spent nearly enough on this trip to put much of a dent in my personal coffers. You'd be surprised how much money you can set aside in 300 years. Besides, there's no way we could have carried all this on our backs."

Ranma gave a worried glance behind him at his mother's considerable amount of luggage. "Yeah, I was wondering about that. Pretty soon, we're going to be hiking. I guess I should have told you to only bring what you can carry." He glanced at his mother. She grinned sheepishly.

*BONK*

"Ow!"

"Your mother has not had the dubious benefit of living her entire life out of a backpack, Sonny. You should expect her to have a few more possessions. It's not as though this is merely a short vacation for her, you know." Cologne said.

Ranma rubbed his head. "I suppose not. Still, what are we gonna do about all this? Between her bags and all that junk you brought from the Nekohanten, we're gonna be so weighted down we won't be able to take a step.

*BONK*

"Use your head, Sonny! Even with the chests of my equipment alone, we would have been overburdened. I sent word ahead to the villagers. A group of them will be meeting us in Quian Su to help us carry it all."

"Ow. How was I supposed to know that?"

"Surely there's at least some of your mother's brain in there." Cologne smirked.

"Goodness, I'd hope so." Nodoka chuckled.

"Is little better than stupid panda-man, but not much." Shampoo nodded sadly.

"HEY!"

***

The group of Amazons who met them in the small village of Quian Su consisted of two female warriors, and six male porters. They brought three palanquins, which were loaded up with the belongings of the group from Japan. Each man took one end of the long poles and lifted it to his shoulder.

As they left, Nodoka noted with some trepidation that the two women were not carrying anything more than their own weapons. She stepped up beside one of the men and caught his attention.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if I might ask you a few questions, about the village where my son and I will be living?"

The sweating man smiled at her, and said something she couldn't understand.

"Oh I see, you don't speak Japanese." Nodoka said, chagrinned.

Cologne pogoed up to her on her staff. "Is there a problem, Nodoka-san?"

Nodoka looked awkwardly back at her new friend. "Er... no, not really. I just noticed that none of the women are carrying anything, and the men are doing all the work. I was just... concerned... about what role my son will have in your village." She asked hesitantly.

Cologne raised an eyebrow and nodded in understanding. "I see. It is a common misunderstanding that we Amazons treat our men badly. The male-dominated Chinese government spreads some rather nasty rumors about us. They hate the idea of women being in positions of authority. I would say that the status of men in our village is roughly equivalent to the status of women in your country. They are not mistreated or denied any real freedoms, but they are not quite as highly respected as women."

Nodoka nodded. "I see." She glanced from her son, carrying his own pack, as was Shampoo (though hers was much smaller, more of a knapsack, really) and then back at the group of Amazon men bearing their heavy burden.

Cologne could see that her friend was still not convinced. "If it would put your fears to rest, please feel free to ask any of the men questions about their lives in the village."

"But I can't speak Mandarin." Nodoka reminded her.

"Shampoo!" Cologne called out in a commanding tone.

The girl obediently dashed up to the Matriarch's side. "Yes Great-grandmother?"

"I want you to translate for your mother-in-law while she speaks with the villagers. Translate every word as precisely as you can. If they say something impolite, you repeat it for her exactly as they meant it. Understand?"

Shampoo blinked. "If Great-grandmother say so. Why for they say not-nice things?"

"I doubt they will." Cologne answered. "I just wish to assure your mother-in-law that we are not keeping secrets from her."

Shampoo gave Nodoka a hurt look. "You no trust us?"

Nodoka quickly put a hand on the girl's shoulder to reassure her. "It's not that, dear. I was just curious about what life will be like for my son in an Amazon village."

Shampoo nodded in understanding. "Ah so! You listen to donkey-butts in Beijing!"

Nodoka blinked. "'Donkey butts'?"

"The Japanese word you want is 'Jackasses', Shampoo." Cologne chuckled.

Nodoka looked to the old woman, still slightly confused. "The 'Jackasses in Beijing'?"

Cologne smirked at her. "A literal translation of the word in our tribe's dialect which refers to the Chinese government."

Nodoka's lip curled into a smile. "I see. No Shampoo, I don't have any friends in Beijing to tell me such things, but I admit I'm a bit worried. I hope I haven't offended you."

Shampoo smiled at her. "No worry, Mother. Amazons have this problem all time. Many people who never see village with own eyes think silly things about Amazon womans. I tell you all you want know."

"Do that Shampoo, but let her ask the men, so that she has no cause for doubt. Son-in-law, you get over here too and have a listen." Cologne called over her shoulder.

"Huh?" Ranma caught up with them. "What's going on?"

"Go with your mother and Shampoo and listen to what our men have to say about life in our village. I'm sure you were curious."

Ranma scratched his head. "Yeah, a little. I didn't know if I was going to end up as some sort of househusband or what. I guess I figured it didn't matter as long as Shampoo was happy."

Shampoo's eyes shone as she gazed up at her new husband. She knew very well by now that the traditional role of a wife in Japan was to stay at home, cook, clean and raise the children. It was one of the primary reasons she didn't want to live there with Ranma, though she never said as much for fear of alienating him. To win him, she had been willing to be nothing more than that to make him happy, even though it was quite a step down from her warrior status in the village. Of course, she hadn't been looking forward to that possibility, and had pushed for him to return with her to the village. Still, she had secretly feared that Ranma would insist she be the homemaker even in her own village.

"Ranma... you would do that for Shampoo?"

Ranma winced. "Yeah. I wouldn't like it, but seeing you smile? That part I really like!" He grinned at her.

The caravan was brought to a halt as Shampoo, deeply moved, tackled her husband in a hug, knocking him down on his pack.

"Gack!" He grunted in surprise. Anything else he might have wanted to say was cut off by a pair of soft lips pressed firmly into his own. Fortunately for Cologne's patience, Shampoo kept this kiss brief.

Happy tears ran down her eyes as she sat astride his hips. "Ranma no worry! Shampoo have status of Village Champion, so Ranma have warrior status too! We get house of own, and have to take care of it, but we do those things together! We both be respected warriors of village! You see!" She grinned happily.

The whole group of Amazons had put down their burdens and were grinning in amusement at the couple sprawled on the ground.

one man asked.

Cologne smirked.

A rather embarrassed Ranma grinned back at his wife. "That sounds perfect, Shampoo. Now, um... could you get off me? Everybody's staring."

Shampoo blinked and looked back over her shoulder. Her face went red and she chuckled nervously. She muttered, as she dismounted her husband and helped him back to his feet. The Amazon's snickered, along with Nodoka. Cologne just shook her head and grinned. The couple would be the talk of the village in no time.

Once the caravan had started up again, Cologne addressed her great-granddaughter. "Now then, Shampoo, you were about to help out your mother-in-law?"

"Ah, Shampoo forget! Come with Shampoo, Mother. We talk to mans."

"Thank you." Nodoka smirked. "Though I can understand that your mind was on... other things."

Shampoo giggled and pulled her mother-in-law by the hand up to the first pair of porters. Ranma followed behind.

Cologne raised her voice. She spoke for a while in commanding tones. When she was finished, they all barked an affirmative.

Shampoo listened and then turned to Nodoka. "Great-grandmother say: Mother of Shampoo husband want ask questions about life in village. Answer all questions honestly. No be worried just because Matriarch around. She away from village for long time. Is good for her hear about problems too."

Nodoka nodded and walked up to the first man, wondering what she should say. "How do you like living in your village?"

Shampoo repeated the question in Mandarin, then translated his answer for Ranma and Nodoka. "Is nice place to live. Very pretty. Village have much money because they no put up with Jackasses in Beijing who raise taxes all time. So all buildings in good shape. Is no like other poor villages where no one have money to buy paint or for fix things what break."

Nodoka nodded and smiled. That hadn't been exactly what she had meant, but it was nice to know all the same. At any rate, the man seemed happy enough to live there. She slowed her walk until she was beside the man carrying the other end of the pole. He seemed older than the rest, his hair half-grey, so she judged him to be in his mid 50s, but he was still quite stout and muscular for a man of his age.

"Are you married?" She asked.

"Yes, he married." Shampoo responded immediately. "He father of one of Shampoo friends in village. Shampoo happy to see him again. He nice man!"

Nodoka smiled at her. "Alright then. Ask him if he wouldn't mind telling me about his relationship with his wife."

Shampoo smirked and asked. The man laughed and gave his answer. As she heard it, Shampoo began to grin.

"He say: wife very beautiful, and very kind woman. Work him too hard though."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Oh? At what?"

Shampoo's eyes twinkled with mirth. "He have seven children!" She said, holding up her fingers.

Nodoka's eyes went wide. Then she laughed merrily. "He sound's like a happy man then."

Shampoo nodded eagerly. The man, who had been watching the exchange, said something while pointing at Shampoo's finger count and smiling.

Shampoo cried out with delight, and immediately began to question him extensively. After a moment, she turned back to the Japanese pair and giggled. "He say I get count wrong. I away from village for more than year. Now he have *eight* children! Shampoo want go see cute new baby girl when she get back!"

Nodoka smiled. "Congratulate him for me, will you dear?"

Shampoo nodded and did so. The man nodded his thanks and grinned proudly as he spoke again. Shampoo smirked and said something teasingly in response. Then she turned back to Ranma and his mother.

"He say she sure to be strongest warrior of tribe! When she grown, she beat Shampoo silly! Shampoo say not likely, but be happy to help daughter train when old enough."

Nodoka smiled, gave the man a short bow of thanks, which he returned as best he could with his burden. She then moved back to the next man.

"Elder Cologne has already assured me that men in the tribe are well-treated, but I wish to know more details about the roles of men and women in the village."

The man scratched his chin as he pondered the question. Eventually, he began speaking at length. After a minute, Shampoo put up a hand to stop him.

"There much he have to say, so Shampoo need translate little bit at time so remember say everything like he say it. He sort of mans what like to talk a lot. Spend too much time thinking, Shampoo think." She explained. "He say: Is many roles for mans and for womans in tribe. Not all womans is warrior, not all mans is not. All girl-child get training as warrior, but not all want to live life that way, so do other things. Some farm, some make clothes, some work for Elders as scribe. Is same with mans. Many mans train to be warriors from childhood, but not always. Some farm, some build buildings, some cut firewood. Is many different jobs that need doing in village, and person who best at it do work. Most work with lifting heavy things done by mans, because mans is stronger like that, but that same in all places, not just in Amazon village."

Nodoka had to agree with that, and nodded as Shampoo turned back to the man and asked him to continue.

"He say there limits, of course. Mans can no be on Council of Elders, and head of house is always mother, not father, unless mother die, like Shampoo mother." Shampoo finished sadly. Nodoka was fairly sure the man hadn't been the one to bring up that.

"So your father is still alive, Shampoo?" Ranma asked.

Shampoo nodded, smiling nostalgically. "Yes. Shampoo father live in village by self. But Shampoo go to live with Great-grandmother when six, so no see father as often as like. Shampoo think you both like him. He very nice and very strong, but no like to fight or argue too much. Him have... how for explain? Quiet strength. Kind that make people listen to him, and no have to yell. Shampoo no remember see him lose temper in whole life, even when Shampoo do bad thing."

Nodoka smiled. "He sounds like a fine man, Shampoo-chan."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Yeah, unlike my father."

Shampoo nodded vigorously. "Shampoo father nothing like stupid panda-man! You like him, you see!"

Ranma smiled reassuringly. "I bet I will."

Shampoo grinned then turned to Nodoka. "Want ask anything else?"

Nodoka tugged her lip in thought. There was one last thing. She dropped back to the second last man in the line, not wanting to be overheard by the two warrior women leading the party.

"I was wondering," she asked the man, "why those two women aren't carrying much of anything, while all you men are so heavily burdened? Shouldn't they take some of your load?"

Shampoo looked about to answer the question herself, but remembered that Cologne wanted to hear the truth of things straight from the mouths of the men (as much as possible given the language barrier). She gave the question to the man, who blinked and spoke seriously.

"He say: Is you crazy? It dangerous here in deep forest. Maybe run into tiger, or bear, or enemy of Amazons. Warriors there to protect us. We come to carry heavy things, so no can bring own weapons. Weigh too much. If weigh down warriors with luggage, then they no can react quickly if we in danger. We work as bearers. That our job. They guard us. That their job. If make them carry some of this, I no feel safe so far from village. I glad they no carry anything but weapons."

Nodoka blinked. She hadn't thought of it that way. "I see. Please forgive me for asking such a foolish question."

Shampoo translated and the man grinned, nodding his head up to the warriors as he spoke, chuckling.

"He say: No your fault you no understand Amazon ways. Warrior on left my wife. She fierce warrior, very good for protecting husband. One day on trip like this one, we come across bandits in woods. Six men. That trip smaller, was only two of us who carry, and only one warrior. That warrior my wife. Six men point and laugh, say this easy prey; only coward mans who hide behind woman pretending to be warrior. I think they no from around here, or no say something so silly about Amazons. Wife get mad and fight them. Take her forever to get tiny pieces of stupid mans out of cracks in her armor."

"Oh my!" Nodoka said, her eyes a little wide. Ranma snickered along with Shampoo.

Cologne hopped up to them from where she had been trailing behind out of earshot, allowing Nodoka to ask her questions without any implied interference from the Matriarch. "Are you satisfied, Nodoka-san?"

Ranma's mother looked ashamed, and bowed low before the old woman. "I'm so sorry. It was incredibly rude of me to suggest that my son might not be well treated in your village."

Cologne smirked. "Yes it was." She said bluntly. "However, you are not the first to join our tribe with worries and false preconceptions. We take no offense, and are happy that you now know us better. We would never trap either you or your son here against your will. You will be free to leave at any time if you are not happy here. The same goes for Ranma, should he find village life unbearable. Though in his case, I should hope he would at least take his wife with him." She said dryly.

"Damn right!" Ranma snorted. "I ain't my Pop! I'd never leave my wife behind!"

Nodoka smiled sadly. If only Genma had felt the same way, perhaps things wouldn't have turned out so badly. Then again, that he wanted to leave her at all should have been her first clue that the marriage was doomed.

Shampoo looked worriedly up at her husband. "Why for talk about leave village before even get there? Great-grandmother right; if Ranma hate live in village, then Shampoo go with him to live in other place, but no want do that unless is no choice. Shampoo want live in village if can. Is home." She said simply.

Ranma grinned easily and put his arm around his wife, as best her small pack allowed. "Don't worry about it Shampoo. I think I'll like living in the village. I remember when I came here before. The village is pretty enough by itself, but outside the walls? Beautiful green forests, tall, majestic mountains, and that lake we passed on the way in; so blue and clear you can see all the way to the bottom!"

Shampoo giggled happily. "Shampoo remember swim in that lake when little, with other children from village. We go swimming together there soon, but..." and here she leaned toward him to whisper in his ear.

Whatever she said, it turned Ranma's face bright red. He straightened and muttered. "Um... won't the other villagers mind?"

"You silly! We go after dark. No one see!" She said, giving him a sultry look.

"What do you suppose they're talking about?" Nodoka whispered into Cologne's ear, smirking.

"I'm sure I don't want to know." The old woman muttered back.

Ranma sighed and smiled wearily. "Ok, but if we go there too often, the water won't be so clear anymore."

Shampoo blushed and giggled as she smacked him. Then she stopped and blinked. "Aiya! Is no good! Water cold. No can play if go in there, Ranma turn into gi..."

Shampoo stopped and slapped both hands over her mouth in horror, glancing back fearfully at Ranma's mother. Ranma flinched and followed her gaze.

Nodoka blinked. "Good heavens, Shampoo! Why are you looking at me like that? And you too Ranma?"

Shampoo said nothing, keeping her hands over her mouth as she looked miserably back at her husband. He could see in her eyes just how sorry she was.

Ranma swallowed and looked back at his mother. "Mom? Did you... hear what Shampoo was just saying a moment ago?"

Nodoka smirked. "About the two of you going skinny-dipping and contaminating the water?"

Ranma's face went beet red. "Um... no actually, after that."

Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Well, I was *trying* to quietly back out of earshot so you two could have some privacy, but I believe it was something like, 'No good! Water Cold!' Is that what you meant?"

"And is that all you heard?" Ranma asked warily.

She frowned at him. "Yes, Ranma. Now what's this about? You're behaving very strangely."

Ranma looked uncomfortable as Shampoo sighed with relief. "Well... she almost gave away that secret 'condition' of mine, you see."

Nodoka smiled brightly. "Oh, you mean the one you're allowed to tell me all about now that the Seppuku pledge is gone?"

Ranma blinked, then grinned. "Oh yeah! I completely forgot! It's okay now, isn't it?"

Nodoka beamed and nodded. "Absolutely, Ranma. Under no circumstances can I, or will I, ask for your life. So come on already! What's the big secret?"

"Well..."

"Son-in-law," Cologne cautioned, "just because your life is no longer in danger does not mean this will be easy for your mother to hear. We will make camp after another kilometre or so. You can tell her then... when she is sitting down."

Nodoka gave the old woman a worried glance, her good humour destroyed by the seriousness in the Matriarch's tone. "Is it really that bad?"

Cologne sighed. "It is not as bad as it first seems, but I fear you are in for quite a shock, my dear."

"Oh dear..." Nodoka said quietly, bringing a hand to her mouth.

Ranma scratched his head ruefully. "Yeah, I guess it is better to wait."

All looked up as a boom of thunder shook the sky.

"Aw man!" Ranma groaned as the rain started to fall.

"Figures." Cologne muttered.

"Aiya..." Shampoo sighed.

Nodoka blinked and glanced from one face to another. "What? What is it? Just a little rain? It's all right, really! I might not be as used to roughing it as the rest of you, but I can certainly put... up... with..."

She trailed off as her son shrunk and was replaced with a very familiar redhead. She didn't even notice Shampoo vanish.

"Ranko...chan..." Nodoka murmured, before her eyes rolled up into her head and she plummeted to the ground like a felled tree.

"Meow!"

Ranma-chan, about to go to his mother and make sure she was alright, took one look at the cat crawling out of Shampoo's clothes and took off screaming.

"Or," Cologne said dryly, "We can just make camp here."

***

"I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL RIP HIS BRAIN OUT THROUGH HIS EYE SOCKETS AND SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS SO THAT IT'S THERE LITTERALLY!"

"Whoa, calm down Mom!" 'Ranko' tried to quiet her rampaging mother, sitting beside the now-human Shampoo. It was a hopeless gesture. Nodoka Tenkawa wouldn't stop ranting and raving about the things she intended to do to Genma until she'd screamed so much she was dizzy from lack of oxygen.

Ranma would have laid good money the day before that his mother didn't even *know* most of those words!

The Amazons, who had set up the camp while Nodoka lay unconscious, were now all keeping well back from the campfire where she was pacing around in circles. One of the warrior women, whose husband had claimed was a "fierce warrior, very good for protecting husband" was presently hiding behind said husband. It didn't help that Shampoo had found it amusing to translate as much she could understand of what Nodoka said, just so she could watch the men's faces turn green.

Cologne had (with Ranma's permission) brought them all up to speed with regard to Genma's training journey, the seppuku pledge, the Cat-fist, Jyusenkyo and pretending to be 'Ranko'. Both the women had angrily vowed to help Nodoka track down this filthy beast and kill him. The men had all growled out their disgust at sharing his gender.

Now, after watching Nodoka rage and foam for ten minutes without slowing down, and hearing some of the things she was saying, the frightened Amazons had changed their minds. The nervous women suddenly decided that their new sister probably didn't need their help, and the pale-faced men suddenly felt extremely sorry for Genma, if she ever found the poor bastard.

There are certain things that you just wouldn't wish upon even your worst enemy. So far, Nodoka had mentioned five of them.


***

It had taken Nodoka a day and a half to calm down.

Even then, for more than a month afterward, anytime anyone mentioned Genma's name, her face would begin to twitch. It was plain to see to just about anyone, that beneath that thin veneer of control lay enough boiling rage and hatred to level a mountain! Consequently, very few people had the courage to mention Ranma's father at all. It quickly became a taboo topic of discussion within the Amazon Village, regardless of whether or not Nodoka was within earshot.

But all that came later. While they were still a day's journey from the village, Nodoka was coherent enough to start asking questions about the whole scenario.

"Shampoo-chan? How do you feel about my son's curse? Doesn't it bother you, being married to someone like him?"

"Aw Mom!"

"Hush, Ranma. This is an important question." Nodoka chided.

"No Mother. Shampoo no mind one bit." The violet-haired girl answered seriously, without batting an eye.

Nodoka looked at her, disbelief plain on her face. "How can you not?"

A quick glance at her husband saw him hang his head in depression. That wouldn't do at all. She turned sharply and stepped in front of Nodoka, bringing the older woman to an abrupt halt. Though the movement was aggressive, Shampoo's big eyes showed only sadness as she looked up into the taller woman's.

"Because Shampoo love Ranma." She said simply. "Love Ranma for who he is, not for shape of body (though like that very much too! ^_^). Now Shampoo have question: Mother who give away baby to idiot love Ranma that much?"

The demand was delivered so gently, in such a sad tone of voice, that it took most people a few shocked seconds to recognize it for the accusation it was.

Nodoka's mouth worked without sound, unable to say a single thing when faced with that sad-eyed, pleading expression, on the beautiful girl's face. Her throat closed off and tears began to pour from her eyes. Such a simple question, yet so hard to answer. It grabbed a fistful of Nodoka's most painful regrets and dragged them forth into the blinding light of day, where they could not hide or be forgotten.

"Sh-Sh-Shampoo!" Ranma stammered, horrified. "How can you say something like that! To my *mother*!"

Shampoo, however, did not acknowledge him, and merely continued to stare sadly into her mother-in-law's tearful eyes.

One of the women warriors tugged gently on the Matriarch's sleeve.

Cologne stood still as a statue, but eventually found the will to answer.

The villagers watched in silence. Not understanding anything more than that something very serious was going on here.

Nodoka tried to scowl at the girl, drawing anger from her hurt. She was only half-successful. "It's a fair question." She said, referring to Ranma's outburst.

"No want hurt you, Mother, but question you ask Shampoo... mean she have to ask other question." She said softly. "If answer to second question is 'yes', then you would no ask Shampoo first one. So Shampoo ask again: Mother who give away baby to idiot love Ranma that much?"

The last vestiges of Nodoka's control shattered, and she burst into sobs. She began to turn away, but Shampoo caught her up and embraced her, gently pressing the woman's head into her shoulder, softly stroking her hair. After a brief moment of struggle, Ranma's mother sagged against her daughter-in-law, clutching her in a desperate grip.

Nodoka whispered something. It was unintelligible through her sobs.

"Say again? Shampoo can no hear." The violet-haired beauty asked softly.

"I... I don't know." She whispered louder, her voice trembling. "Forgive me Ranma, I just don't know!"

Her son, hearing these words, flinched as if struck. The Matriarch had been watching his expression carefully. The haunted look of deep hurt on his face would stay with Cologne for the rest of her years.

Shampoo shhed her, gently stroking her hair, as though comforting a child. "No worry Mother. You will learn to." She took the sobbing woman's face in her hands and gently forced her to look her in the eye. She smiled. "Shampoo know it! You will learn! Ranma too special not to, so Shampoo know you will learn. She will teach you." Her eyes twinkled. "Shampoo expert at loving Ranma!"

Nodoka's face broke once more and she squeezed the girl hard, her heart overflowing with gratitude. "Thank you!"

Shampoo patted her back, still smiling.

As she slowly managed to regain control of herself, Nodoka stood up and smiled at the silent assemblage, wiping her tears. "What are you all staring at?" She asked without ire. "We should get going if we want to get there by nightfall, correct?"

Cologne swallowed the lump in her throat. Damn that sweet great-granddaughter of hers! She'd even gotten to this cynical old woman! It was taking all her centuries of control to not shed tears along with everyone else.

"Quite right. Let's get moving." She managed, hopping along on her staff. The Amazons hesitantly picked up their burdens and resumed the march.

"What was that all about, Shampoo?" Ranma asked, glancing past her at his mother, who was still tearful, yet smiling.

Shampoo smiled sweetly and then turned that smile back to Nodoka, speaking to her as much as him. "Mother build wall between her and Ranma. Wall for keep heart from breaking for long years no see him. Shampoo smash wall to pieces. Now watch while Mother build wall again, but this time, have door in it that let Ranma in."

Ranma scratched his head, still looking worried. "I don't get it." He admitted. He'd thought they'd been getting along fine.

Shampoo smirked at him. "That prove you real man in heart! Men stupid about woman's heart. Never understand no matter how hard try!"

"HEY!" He growled.

Shampoo giggled and stuck her tongue out at him, then dashed away laughing.

Ranma chased after her. "Whaddaya mean I'm stupid! Come back here and explain!"

"You still no understand even if Shampoo do! Nyeh!" She pulled down her eyelid and continued to run, giggling like a child at play.

"Come on! Tell me!" Ranma pleaded in an annoyed tone, following her in close pursuit, not seeming to mind that his pack weighed about three times what her little travel bag did.

Nodoka watched the two skip out of sight. Suddenly, without knowing why, she began to chuckle.

One of the warriors dropped back to speak with the Matriarch.

Cologne raised an eyebrow.

Toner pouted.

Cologne smirked. She hopped over to Nodoka, who was still crying silently, even though she was smiling.

"Nodoka-san..."

"Don't."

"Excuse me?"

Nodoka turned to the old woman and smiled sadly. "If you're about to apologise for her, than don't. That young girl, no older than my son, is far wiser in matters of the heart than this old lady. She already knows that we grow the most from things which sometimes cause us pain. I suspect that girl has much to teach this foolish woman. Quite the reverse from the usual mother-daughter relationship, isn't it?"

Shampoo (having had the sense to lead Ranma about in a wide circle, so as not to leave the caravan too far behind) popped up behind her, hugging her mother-in-law around the waist, peaking her head cutely over the woman's shoulder.

"Shampoo is good cook, but only know how cook Chinese food. She think many of Ranma's favorite food is Japanese. Want very much learn how to cook those. Will Mother teach her?"

Nodoka smiled gratefully at the energetic young Amazon's offer. "It would be my honor, Shampoo, and my pleasure."

Shampoo giggled and kissed her Mother-in-law on the cheek. "When house for new couple is built, Mother move in with Ranma and Shampoo. We be big happy family! True happy; no person have to fake be happy in Shampoo house!"

"Hey! There you are!" Ranma shouted from behind.

"Oops! Shampoo have to run again!" She giggled, and off the pair went again, into the woods.

Cologne shook her head, smiling with Nodoka at the couple's antics. "I taught Shampoo that, 'all growth comes out of suffering'. I didn't know she'd learned the lesson so well."

Nodoka chuckled. "I think I'll be in good hands."

"As will she, from both you and Ranma." Cologne smiled. "While you may be a bit out of practice, I think you will be a fine mother to both of them, Nodoka-san."

"I wish I had your confidence." Nodoka sighed.

"Then borrow some of hers." Cologne said simply. "She said it herself: you will learn."

"Yes." Nodoka smiled up at the sky. "I surely will!"

________________________________________________________________________________


Awww! What a beautiful way to end a chapter. This story's not over, of course. This is no happy ending! Shampoo is still dying, still doesn't know how long she has, or that she is effectively barren. Toilet Duck still searches unoptimistically for a cure, and we haven't even arrived at the village yet!

I have no idea how long this will go, but I'm having fun writing it. I can tell it's some of my better work too. You know it's good when you read it through two or three times, and it's *still* pulling your emotional strings, making you laugh and cry along with the characters. That's especially true if you wrote the thing yourself!

Someone pass me a tissue! *sniff*

Alright, enough silliness. :P

Please feel free to comment on my work, at:
hinoron@hotmail.com

Ja na!

-Ron Hino