Disclaimer: Same as before. I still have no money, so a lawsuit would not be fun ;_;

Warnings: Um, a lot of NagixOmi loviness??

*Sparkly eyes* Thank you to everyone who reviewed!!! I'm so happy!!! And *meep!* (Hides from the Nagi issue) Um, I did this chapter pretty quickly and it has a ton of goofy NagixOmi. Also, to Amiryn, I'll try to put some Schu/Yohji in later. And I'll try to make the chapters longer ^_^ My inspirations comes in small doses... Oh, and sorry to all those Bradley lovers out there- I'm mean to him. (Gets splattered with tomatoes from the Crawford Fan Club) Anyway, on to the next phase of craziness...

Chapter 2

Day one. Sunday. 8:45 a.m.

Omi yawned loudly as he turned the front door knob to Schwarz HQ and threw open the door familiarly. Hm. So our little Omi has been there before? I wonder why... mwahahahahahaha! But just before he could step into the entry hall, Crawford called him back from the limo sternly. "Omi, I am not your servant, and I am certainly not your mother. You will help me carry your luggage inside."

Omi rolled his eyes in exasperation and walked back to where Brad was waiting amongst a pile of suitcases. Scanning the heavy load over carefully, Omi wisely swiped up the smallest bag, a Hello Kitty backpack, and ran into the house shouting: "I'm sure you can get the rest!"

As he entered the spacious hallway inside, Aya's last words to him before handing him over to Crawford echoed in his mind. "Remember these three things, Omi," he had whispered seriously. "One: Don't leave any food or drink unsupervised where someone could tamper with it. Two: Don't eat anything they fix you. Just say your fasting and it's against your religion. And three: Always keep your door locked at night."

"Geez, Aya," Omi grumbled. "I'm staying with three Schwarz members under a strict assignment; not with some psycho, drug-dealing gang-bangers who want to screw me and sell me in a brothel."

Well... probably half of that was actually true, but Omi still trusted the black assassin group to some extent. Even if for only one reason...

"Omi!"

Omi dropped his backpack as that reason appeared at the end of the hall. "Nagi!"

Everything went into unnecessary slow motion as the two ukes got all happy faced and ran to embrace each other. Sparkly pink and gold fangirl bubbles floated around them as they shared a long-passionate-kiss.

"I'm so glad you came!" Nagi exclaimed, panting slightly as he took Omi's hands in his own.

"Yeah," Omi agreed, feeling dazed. "We never get to see each other."

Nagi gave his koi a sly, evil, hint-hint, nudge-nudge look. "And now we'll be staying in the same house for a whole week..." he commented suggestively.

Unfortunately, before he could lean in for another kiss, a tremendously loud, angry-father-sounding voice burst in from the front door. "NAOE! TSUKIYONO!" Crawford demanded, outraged. "You get these damn bubbles out of my house IMMEDIATELY!"

All the pretty little love bubbles in the hall popped, replaced by giant stone-carved letters in the background spelling 'POOPY CRAWFORD.'

As Brad stormed in, arms loaded with suitcases, he ordered, "Tsukiyono. Come with me to your room. Nagi, go find Farferello.

Nagi promptly latched onto Omi's back and stuck his tongue out at Crawford. "Farfie can find himself," Nagi insisted. "I want to know where Omi's room is."

Crawford readjusted his glasses with his middle finger, implying to Nagi that he was peeved enough to flip off a fifteen year old.

...Wait...Isn't Brad still holding all those suitcases?! How could he have a free hand to adjust his glasses if his hands are full?! What the- grr...damn that man... (Skips off with a random sugar and caffeine filled beverage to ponder the Utena movie.)

"Naoe, I hope you know that if the Weiss brat looses his virginity on this mission, I'm holding you completely responsible."

Nagi's eyes turned to slits. "I'd love to be responsible for that, Bradley."

Omi, trying not to be rude, or perhaps just fearing for his life, mentioned: "Uh, guys? I'm still right here. I can hear you."

All three of them sweat-dropped, smiled awkwardly, laughed even more awkwardly, and then glared suspiciously at each other.

The author is now mumbling to herself: "Psycho, schizophrenic assassins. I seriously need to turn off this corrupting rap music and get a good night's sleep."

Anyway, a minute later, Brad led Omi (Nagi still attached to his back) into one of the guestrooms down the hall. Why do a group of estranged, psychic assassins have guestrooms in their safe house? I do not know. Just use your imagination.

Dropping all the suitcases immediately on the wood floor, Crawford began relaying the basic rules to Omi about living there. "Firstly, you will be excused from school this entire week. That means you will be eating all your meals here. I do the cooking, and you eat what and when we do." Omi was about to restate the excuse for eating that Aya had given him, but Brad raised a silencing hand. "And don't give me any of that crap about fasting and religion," he warned. Omi just nodded in embarrassment.

"Secondly," Brad continued, "if you should happen upon our third member, Farferello, this week, I suggest you keep your eyes averted and don't come in physical contact with him. And whatever you do, don't touch his blender."

Omi gulped. He had encountered Farferello before, and the thought that he would be living under the same roof as the psychopath just crossed his mind. Instinctively, he took a step towards the window for an escape, but Crawford grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and hauled him up to his eye level. "They're barred." He warned cryptically.

Omi went cross-eyed staring at Brad's nose from such a close distance, and the taller man dropped his captive to the floor onto his butt. Of course, he had forgotten about Nagi, who was still strung over his back, and ended UP sitting DOWN on the young brunette's lap. Nagi smiled and groped Omi's ass.

"And thirdly," Crawford boomed parentally, leaving the two teens trembling, "you are prohibited from entering the sleeping quarters of our under aged member, Nagi, after 9:00 p.m."

Nagi made a pouty face. "You spoil all my fun, Bradley."

Crawford's eye gave a trademark... well, you know. The atmosphere grew chill and misty swirls came drifting around him like he was going from discontented Dr. Jekyll to bloodsucking Mr. Hyde. He stared Nagi down mystically and hissed: "You make my life miserable, I'll shoot you in the head."

Nagi 'eeped' and hid behind Omi, who was starting to resemble a petrified stone.

With that, the mist and horror theme nonsense vanished. And Crawford, walking like Crawford does after a foreordained victory (cough stick up the a$$! cough), left the boys alone in Omi's room.

There was a long, recovering silence, broken only by Nagi's nervous laughter. "Well," he finally said, voice breaking ever so noticeably, "welcome home."

* * *

Tick. Tick. Tick. Twitch.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Twitch.

Crawford was finding it hard to read his book with his eye twitching in correspondence to the cat clock on the wall. Just a few minutes before, out of pure anxiety, he had stabbed one of the cat's eyes out with a dull carving knife, and was now dealing with the consequences of his actions. Nothing is more disturbing than sitting alone in the night, with only a reading light, in your creaky living room, reading Edger Allen Poe... with a one-eyed cat clock staring at you.

Brad shuddered.

About ready to retire for bed, he heard a faint click from down the hallway of the guestrooms. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" he screamed, hurling one of the couch pillows through the darkness towards the sound. Omi's door instantly slammed shut.

Tick. Twitch. Tick. Twitch. Tick. Twitch twitch twitch.

Wondering if he should start seeing a doctor about his eye, Crawford decided he wouldn't ever sleep until he put a lock on Omi's door. From the outside. With no key. Then again, that would doubtfully stop Nagi and his telekinetic powers from getting in. This whole ordeal was making Brad's head hurt. He had been constantly separating Omi and Nagi all day, as they constantly tried to do naughty things to each other. Kids... Brad thought to himself. I'm just glad Schuldig isn't here to encourage them. But then... I wonder how he is?

At that moment, the phone rang, startling Crawford into jumping out of his easy chair and landing face-first on the hardwood floor. His already taped-up glasses snapped in half. Grumbling about getting contacts, Crawford snatched the phone off the coffee table. "What?" he growled into the receiver.

"Bradley-poo," a German accented voice whined from the other end of the line.

"Schuldig?" Crawford confirmed, sitting up and glancing at the clock. "Why are you calling me now? It's after midnight."

"Bradley..." Sniffle. "They locked me in my room..."

For a moment, Brad forgot just who he was talking to, and he instinctively cursed Weiss for their distrust. "Why on earth would they lock you in..." Oh yeah. This was Schu he was talking to. "Schuldig," he said, "what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything!" Schuldig shot back innocently. *Stern Pause* Schu cleared his throat. "OK. So maybe I wasn't on my best behavior today. Or at dinner. But I swear- Yohji took over my mind and forced me to pour the mashed potatoes down Aya's-"

"GO TO BED!" Crawford bellowed, slamming down the phone. His furious command must have been overheard, for just then, both Nagi's and Omi's doors slammed shut.

Crawford squeezed his loony eye shut. It was going to be such a long week.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Sorry it was so short and double-sorry I stopped there! I'm still trying to decide where to go with this, and it got too short when I took out a bunch of the private jokes that were in there and edited it.. And sorry for all the NagixOmi, they're one of my favorite couples and I just had to put them in there! And I promise I'll have more stuff about Weiss's situation (Lots of s's_) later. Just tell me what you want and I'll try to accommodate. I need ideas! *.*;