Disclaimer: I own nothing... honestly... I don't think I even have insurance!
Chapter 4:
"Overly Excited"
"Okay, guys, it looks like the best paying job so far that we could find on such short notice is repairing a house," Kenshin concluded, checking off numerous job applications in the local newspaper with his highlighter, "I think it's perfect. It's a few streets down from the beach house so we don't have to worry about transportation, and it's decent pay, that it is."
"So, let's drop by and tell them we're up for it!" Yahiko exclaimed, quickly snatching the newspaper from Kenshin's grasp, surprising Kenshin and giving him a long paper cut across his palm.
"Oro?!" Kenshin yelped, grabbing for his hand like it was chopped off and Saito rolled his eyes, obviously not amused.
"No wonder you can't get a girl, you cry at everything," Saito muttered. Now Kenshin was very tempted to remind Saito of just who he had gotten together with at his prom party, but he changed his mind when he saw Saito reaching for the pack of cigarettes that he had taken the liberty of throwing away. Of course, he had made sure Saito wasn't looking when he did though because otherwise, Kenshin would've been missing more than a few limbs by now.
Discovering his cigarettes had somehow disappeared, Saito's golden eyes immediately lost their redemption and widened as round as a dinner plate.
"Where the hell are my cigarettes?! They couldn't have just gotten up and walked outta my damn pocket, now where they hell did they go?! Damn it! Now we really need some money! If I don't get a smoke, I'll go crazy!" Saito then started pacing around in frantic circles, Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke watching the strange display with amused smiles, Saito's missing cigarettes resting peacefully in the bottom of the trash can nearby. The whole time, Saito began rambling about his complete and total need and dependance of nicotine, his arms flailing about like he was a wild man and suddenly, the situation wasn't as humorous anymore.
"Maybe you should get a nicotine patch, Saito," Kenshin suggested thoughtfully, only to be pushed against the wall by Saito's furious glare, "Oro?!"
"Nicotine patch?! Nicotine patch?! Are you fucking crazy?! I need cigarettes! Do you need me to spell it out for you?!" Saito shouted and all three men backed away from the raging addict, "What are you all still standing here for?! Let's just go to the house and apply for the job...!"
Saito rolled his eyes again, trying to save face for his vulnerability for smoking and he hurried along the sidewalk towards the street of the house they were supposed to repair. Sanosuke shrugged his shoulders, figuring it was some kind of addiction problem, and Yahiko pointed his index finger at the side of his head, swirling it around to indicate that Saito was indeed a lunatic, but they followed him anyway.
They trudged along after him, making sure that there was a good three feet between them and Saito, just to make sure that their lives weren't in danger anymore. Not that Saito was complaining or anything; he preferred his own company rather than talking with the usual group of morons that he was now stuck with for the next three months. Just how long would he last until he started flipping out? (A/N: I've got my money on two hours!)
Yahiko spotted the house in front of them first, the windows were broken, the paint was chipping, and the porch roof was practically toppling over. The four stood in silence in front of the house they were hired to repair, now suddenly reconsidering if they should take up the work that would definitely take more effort than they had first thought. Yahiko however, pointed and laughed at it.
"Hahahahahhah! Hey, Kenshin! Take a look at that dump! Hahahaha!" Yahiko shouted as he pointed and laughed at the ugly house in serious need of a makeover, "Who'd wanna live in a shit hole like that?!"
"Well, I do," a girl said from behind them. Along with her agitated voice, her foot tapping against the sidewalk's concrete and her arms folded across her chest, the guys could tell that what Yahiko had just said didn't exactly put him on the girl's favorite persons list. "Me and my friend are actually going to pay somebody to fix it so you won't be complaining for long," she continued, flipping her long green hair over her shoulder.
"Ah... H..hhhhottttt....." Yahiko breathed as he looked the girl up and down, definitely noticing the shortness of her skirt and her low cut top, but seemingly unaware of her rising anger, "Whoa! Those are some huge tits you have!" Without morals, Yahiko eyeballed her prodigious cleavage line, drool dripping from his mouth as he continued to gawk at the green haired woman's um... assets. Saito was positive they were fake.
Sanosuke kept his attention on anything but the girl's breasts; the sky, the ground, a paper bag on the floor... Realizing their money offering was at risk, Kenshin quickly clamped his hand over Yahiko's mouth, wincing at the drool on his palm that had dripped from Yahiko's lips and he mouthed a silent, "EW!" Still, he managed to give the girl an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, Miss, that I am. You'll have to excuse him, he's uh... a little drunk right now. Yeah! That's it!" Kenshin lied, his violet eyes darting back and forth as the girl frowned, not in any mood for his lies. Looking at Sanosuke and Saito for help, Kenshin stuttered, "Uh... you two say things now!"
"Who, me?!" Sanosuke asked, pointing at himself in shock, but quickly recovered when he realized that the girl's attention had turned to him. Sano made sure that he made a mental note to kill Kenshin later for saving his ass yet again from embarrassment. "Uh... so you're the person that put that ad in the paper, huh?" Sanosuke asked stupidly, pushing away the nervous feeling he had that he would mess up their chance at their job, "That was a nice ad you put up. Really pretty! Yeah, uh... I liked the little star borders and all... Eheheh..." The girl didn't look in the least amused. "ANYWAYS, we were actually thinking of taking up that job, that is, if you want to hire us. Yahiko here's a jerk, but I'm sure he won't bug you or your friend anymore!"
"Hey! I resent that!" Yahiko shouted, finally able to break away from Kenshin's gag on his mouth, but Kenshin clamped his mouth shut again, "I'll have you know...! Mmmmffmfmfmfmf!" His voice came out muffled and inaudible as Sanosuke, Saito, and Kenshin gave the girl innocent smiles, all three of their hands covering Yahiko's mouth that didn't seem to want to shut by itself.
"Well...alright," she said, finally giving up, her hands going down from where she had placed them on her hips, "Come on then. You think you guys could get started today?" The girl began walking towards the house, keys in hand, but the guys were not up to date with what she was saying, they were mostly concentrating on the way her butt moved when she walked. Turning around, the girl frowned at them.
"Are you guys coming or what?" she asked again, snapping them out of their trance and they all ran over to catch up with her, barely missing her complaint of perverted teenagers that she had mumbled under her breath, "Okay, well, I'm Shura and I'll introduce you to my roommate when we get there. She's already at home, or maybe I should say, she's at the 'dump.'" Shura made sure she shot Yahiko a look at the word, 'dump' as she unlocked the door to the house and walked inside.
They all followed her into the house, Kenshin's hand still covering Yahiko's mouth, and Sanosuke and Saito shushed him from his constant kicking and muffled protests. So far so good. But Yahiko had enough of his mistreatment for one day and he bit down on Kenshin hand, sending the red head screeching at the top of his lungs, a distorted, "ORO?!"
Also fed up, Saito whirled around, grabbing Yahiko by his collar and pushed him against the wall, his eyes narrowing at the smaller man. He didn't need to say a thing for Yahiko to know what Saito intended to do if he even heard another sound from him and he knew better than to mess with him when he was angry. Yahiko put his hands up in surrender and Saito lowered him back down to the ground before following Shura to the garage for their work supplies. As soon as his back was turned though, Yahiko made it a point to imitate him, contorting his face up so that it was really long and he pulled back his eyelids to make them narrow like Saito's. Sanosuke and Kenshin gave him confused glances, but laughed when Yahiko brought his hand up to his mouth in a fist as if holding onto a bottle and he made numerous 'glug glug' sounds.
Sanosuke and Kenshin shook their head in disapproval at Yahiko's misconduct even though it was pretty funny, and he shot them a what-did-I-do-look. Sighing, Sanosuke pushed him into the garage with a hard shove, causing Yahiko to stumble over, almost toppling face first on the floor. On instinct, Yahiko grabbed for the first thing that was closest to him, and what he grabbed happened to be a person. Startled, he lifted his face up, only to come face to face with a girl he once knew from last year that left suddenly to never come back again.
"YUMI?!" Yahiko exclaimed, backing away from her, scared, as if he had just seen a ghost, or maybe we should say, a former love interest. Yumi seemed to be in the same exact state as Yahiko was as she backed off as well.
"Oh my God! It's YOU!" Yumi cried in disgust. Not exactly the best thing Yahiko wanted to hear at the moment of their strange reunion and he frowned. "Shura! He's the guy you hired to repair the house?! What'd you hire him for?!"
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Yahiko snapped, deeply offended by the way Yumi was so suddenly bashing him down without even so much as a simple , 'How've you been?' greeting, "Well, Yumi, I missed you too! Nice to know you remember me..."
"Yumi, these are the only guys that actually want to take up the job, so just ignore your ex okay?" Shura suggested, trying to calm down her outraged friend, "We can just keep you two out of each other's way. He can... he can work out on the balcony railing, that way you won't have to see him! Does that sound okay?"
"First off, that guy is not my ex-boyfriend! I would never go out with a dork like him!" Yumi protested, pointing a finger at Yahiko as if to sentence him to the electric chair, "He made me move out of Tokyo!"
"Oh, you wouldn't go out with him, but you'd screw him, huh? That's interesting," Saito said with a smirk referring to the past incident of their internet escapade, only making Yumi's rage increase and steam began to fume from her ears as she glared at him, wishing all the while that his hair would catch on fire.
"Shut up, Hajime! I didn't ask you!" Yumi shouted, her voice barely touching the surface of Saito's idea of being worthy enough to listen to and he only rolled his eyes and turned away. This only made Yumi shake with anger, her fists tightening into balls and she shook them at him. "I should just...!"
"Look, everybody just calm down," Kenshin soothed, putting his hands up like a peace offering, "Yumi, we will try our best to keep Yahiko out of your sight. Yahiko, stop talking back to these ladies, we need this job! Saito, mind your own business! Sanosuke, uh... never mind.... Everyone, just please calm down. I'm sure we can settle this and still get what we want, that we can."
"Fine," Yumi scoffed, turning away from Yahiko with a big huff, "you can go work on the balcony, that way I won't have to see you."
"Fine with me," Yahiko grumbled, his head down and he kicked up some dust on the floor of the garage in frustration.
"Okay, well, you boys can get started then," Shura said with a satisfied grin, "the paint stuff and tools are over there. It was uh... nice meeting all of you. Come on, Yumi." Shura then took Yumi by the arm and they both left the garage open, leaving the men behind to begin working on the house. They watched the girls leave, paying most attention to their behinds that sort of compensated for their attitudes.
Until they slammed the door to the garage shut in their faces, everyone remained silent, but after a few moments, an evil grin passed over Saito's face as he turned back around from the closed door and picked up a heavy plank for the repairing of the porch.
"I think they're lesbians," he said under his breath, really to no one in particular, but he knew exactly whose attention he caught. Bringing the wood outside and placing it on the table to measure, he saw Yahiko's ears perk up at the word "lesbians" and he slowly turned back around to face Saito with curious eyes.
"How can you tell?" Yahiko asked. He had no clue where Saito got the idea that Yumi and Shura were lesbians, but the thought definitely intrigued him. After all, what guy didn't have the fantasy of one day having a threesome? Yahiko was definitely one of those guys. He'd been waiting for one ever since he hit puberty, which actually wasn't all that long ago.
"First, they were holding hands. Second, that Shura girl made sure that Yumi was in no discomfort whatsoever with you. Third, Yumi made it clear to Shura that you and her did not go out and fourth..." Saito didn't get to finish.
"Saito, friends can hold hands and still be straight, that they can," Kenshin replied, stating matter-of-factly that the girls were probably as straight as any of them. If Saito wanted to think they were lesbians just because of a little hand clasping, then he was just jumping to conclusions. Although, Kenshin did happen to like the idea of two girls getting together (and let's not forget about his obsession with bikinis.)
"Shut up, Shit-Break. I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends," Saito said with a scowl and he continued talking with Yahiko as Kenshin and Sanosuke started bringing all the supplies out that they would need, "Yahiko, you can't honestly tell me that you never thought of the possibility of Yumi being a lesbian.. Dude, all chicks are border line bisexuals, only a few of them actually go full blown lesbo. Didn't college teach you anything?!"
Yahiko took all this into consideration. It's not that he found it completely absurd if Yumi was a lesbian, in fact, he wouldn't be in the least bit surprised, but seeing her all of a sudden out of nowhere and then finding out she had moved to the other side of the road (if you catch my drift); it was all too much to consider.
'Dude, if they really are lesbians, they'll be like doing stuff together... and I'll be right outside their window! I hit the jackpot, baby! I got two potential lesbians in a house that I'll be working on the upstairs in, their room right next to the window I'll be by... The possibilities of seeing them hooking up are good to go!' Yahiko thought excitedly, 'Whoa! Pleasure overload!'
"Well, I better get started watching... I mean! Painting! Gotta go paint! On that balcony by their room," Yahiko corrected, his intentions of what he was really going to do so painfully obvious as he headed up the ladder to the balcony, totally forgetting some very important factors of his job.
"Hey Yahiko!" Sanosuke called from the lawn just as Yahiko reached the top of the ladder, "Aren't you forgetting something?!" Sanosuke held up the paintbrush and bucket of paint in his hands and Yahiko blushed at his lack of attention, climbing back down with a sheepish grin on his face. "Paint more, watch less, Little man," Sanosuke said, handing the supplies to Yahiko with a big smirk on his face.
"Don't call me little!" Yahiko protested, snatching the brush and paint from Sano's hands and he turned back to the ladder and climbed back up to start "painting" the railing. Distracted, Yahiko dipped the brush into the white paint, not really paying attention to what he was actually painting as he looked in the window to one of their rooms, the paint brush not even touching an inch of the wall as he unconsciously waved it back and forth. The girls were talking in the doorway, completely unaware that Yahiko was outside, anxiously waiting for them to do something by their window and he watched them as they both left the room. He excitedly fumbled for the walkie talkie on his belt and brought it up to his mouth to whisper down to his friends on the lower level.
"Potential lesbians on the move," Yahiko whispered into the walkie talkie, making Sano, Saito, and Kenshin turn their attention to the front door to see Yumi and Shura stepping out at the same moment and they walked past them to their car.
"Have fun fixing the house, boys," Shura called over her shoulder as she and Yumi drove off down the road to get themselves a drink from the local coffee pub a couple blocks down.
As soon as they were out of sight, Yahiko beeped them all again, speaking into the monitor, "I'm going in." and they all heard him softly humming the Mission Impossible theme song in the background. Sanosuke, Kenshin, and Saito whirled around just in time to see Yahiko duck into the window of one of the girls' rooms.
"Shit! Get in there and get him out!" Sanosuke hissed, pushing Saito and Kenshin to the ladder Yahiko had climbed before and they hurried up to go after their crazed friend. The idea of strangling him to death seemed very appeasing in both their minds as they got inside the room and they made sure to be very careful to not move or touch anything. If the girls were to come back, they didn't want them to notice any difference in the house. And judging by Yumi and Shura's attitudes from earlier, the consequences of getting caught could be fatal.
Their job was to get Yahiko out as soon as possible, undetected, and moving things around would only make the girls suspicious, but Saito and Kenshin's idea of keeping everything in it's place all crumbled to the floor when Yahiko ran back into the room, waving an object about in the air with a big grin on his face.
"Dudes! Lookie what I found! They got a dildo!" Yahiko shouted and before Saito or Kenshin had time to react, he dashed out of the room, running around the house, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Lesbians! Lesbians! Lesbians!"
"Yahiko!" Kenshin hissed, chasing after him through the house as the spiky haired man continued running around, chanting the words, "dildo and lesbians," like they were the only two words he knew, "Yahiko! You need to put that back right now, that you do!"
"You moron! You weren't supposed to touch anything!" Saito shouted, grabbing Yahiko by the back of his neck and he snatched the rubber dick out of his hands, "Now where the hell did you find this?! We need to put this back before the girls come back or...!" The walkie talkie at his side began to crackle and fizz before it finally came out in a voice.
"Oh, my god! Guys, get the fuck outta there right now! They just came back! Get your asses outta there!" Sanosuke shouted into the walkie talkie, making all three men's faces grow white with fear.
"Stall them!" Saito shouted back, desperate.
"Got it!" Sanosuke nodded, jogging over to the girls that had just arrived, hoping that his way with words would buy them all some time to get out.
"Hey, uh... where do you ladies want us to start working first?" Sanosuke asked, nervous sweat rolling down the side of his face as he tried to make innocent conversation to stall them, but the girls only walked past him.
"Anywhere is fine," Yumi said over her shoulder with the wave of her hand as they both entered the house, leaving Sanosuke at a loss for words. He stood still for a moment, letting the scenario sink in until he finally realized his plan didn't work and he frantically snatched up the walkie talkie again to warn his friends.
"You guys need to get out right now, I mean it! They're inside the house!" Sanosuke yelled, a little more than panicked, "Get out that window NOW or you'll be dead meat!"
"Aw, fucking A!" Saito shouted and all three ran back up the stairs, heading over to the rooms to put back the dildo wherever Yahiko had found it and try to escape undetected, "Yahiko, where'd you find that fucking thing?!" Yahiko searched frantically around the room, rotating his body a full 360 degrees and more but nothing seemed to be familiar to him.
"I don't know! I was too excited about finding it, I wasn't really paying attention!" he whimpered and Saito smacked Yahiko on the forehead with his palm, Kenshin's face growing gravely pale as they heard the footsteps of the girls heading up the stairs.
"Hide!" Yahiko whispered and they all dived for the closet at the same time, creating a huge thunking sound as they all hit the floor, one man on top of the other, Yahiko being the one at the bottom of the dog pile.
"Get off me, you moron!"
"ORO?!"
"You guys are too damn heavy!"
The only thing Saito, Kenshin, and Yahiko could do was stare helplessly from their heap on the floor as the door opened up and in walked Shura and Yumi with coffee mugs in their hands. At the sight before them on the floor, the girls gasped and Yumi accidently lost her grip on her coffee cup, sending it flying over to the men's direction, the cap flying off and the scorching hot mocha chino splashing on the guys' exposed skin.
The men burst out into a fit of screams as the coffee bubbled on their skin, burning them to a bad degree and the girls began to scream as well just because it fit the situation. The entire house rumbled with bellowing cries and shouts, and from outside, Sanosuke became extremely concerned for his friends' safety. 'Oh my God! They're killing them!' Sanosuke thought, climbing up the window to look in on them, only to find the girls screeching on one end of the room and the guys running about in circles on the other, all the while waving their hands around in the air and screaming for 911. More confused than ever, Sanosuke pushed the button of the walkie talkie to ask them what was going on.
"Hey, guys, it's me. What's going on in there?" Sanosuke asked into the speaker, placing the piece to his ear to listen for their response, "Hello? Can you guys hear me? What's happening in there?! Guys?!"
Shura frowned at the voice on the walkie talkie and she quickly grabbed it off of Yahiko's belt buckle and whispered back to the soul surviving friend that had stayed downstairs. Yahiko was in too much shock of how close she came to his crotch when getting the little phone that he barely had time to snatch it back before she said anything.
"So you wanna see what's gonna happen to your little buddies here?" Shura asked, a sly smirk heard in the throaty tone of her voice and she didn't even wait for his response before she continued, "It seems to me like they snuck in here and now me and Yumi are going to make them our little slaves."
In the background, Sanosuke could hear Kenshin shouting an overly loud, "ORO?!" at the word 'slaves' and he heard Saito and Yahiko protesting to the idea with a series of, "are-you-crazy's" and "what-the-hell's." Instantly, Sanosuke felt sorry for them, remembering Yumi very strange antics of foreplay. And if she still thought like she did last year, she'd be having all three of them stripping down and humping chairs in not time. Sano cringed at the thought of them all in their boxers doing little happy dances around the room. He could practically feel the humiliation coming on already and he could only smile at the hilarious time when Yahiko had to go through with the mortifying and extremely strange amusement that Yumi preferred that he do.
"Yes, they are now our slaves, to do as we please, no questions asked or else we'll call the police and report to them about four perverted teenage guys that trespassed into our home,"Yumi said, her idea twisted and cruel, but futile. The guys knew that they had no choice but to play along with whatever crude favor that the girls wanted them to do and if that meant stripping down into their underpants and pulling up chairs, they would just have to do it. "Now, do you all agree with the rules and circumstances? You do whatever we want and we won't call the cops on you. Deal?"
Saito and Kenshin exchanged looks, nodding in agreement to the rules. They didn't bother asking Yahiko because, according to them, he would only get the girls to press more charges against them, therefore giving them more power than they already had, and Saito and Kenshin did not like being controlled. Saito opened his mouth to say that they should just get it over with, but he was cut off by Yahiko's new found suggestion.
"Yeah, we can do that, OR we can add a little something extra in as well," Yahiko said, his hand going up as he explained his theory. Yumi and Shura nodded and motioned for him to go on and he cleared his throat despite the angry glares he received from Kenshin and Saito on the side lines. "Well, we'll do whatever you girls want and you won't call the cops on us. But if we do one thing for you, then you two have to do something for us. What do you say?"
"Hm... What do you think Shura?" Yumi asked, turning to her friend, rather liking the idea of give-a-little-get-a-little, but she turned to her friend to settle on the decision, "You think it's a good idea?"
"It's only fair," Shura replied with a shrug and she looked at Kenshin and Saito, "Are you boys up for it as well?"
"I don't think that...! Mmmfffmfmfmfmmfmfmmfm!" Kenshin started to disagree but Saito quickly covered his mouth with his hand, stopping him from canceling the sweet deal that Yahiko was able to conjure up just in the nick of time. Saito smiled sweetly at the girls and nodded his head in response, forcing Kenshin to nod his head too as he pushed down on the rurouni's skull in a slight nod, answering for him.
"Alright! This outta be fun!" Yahiko exclaimed, eyeing the girls as if they were a buffet line and he hadn't eaten in weeks. Licking his chops, Yahiko rubbed his hands together and prepared to dig into the big dish when Shura pushed him back with her palm face up.
"Nope, I don't think so," Shura said, shaking her finger in his face and she pointed at him instead, "you have to go first, remember? That was the deal. You guys go, then we go."
"Yeah! Now, Yahiko, we want you to grab Kenshin's ass!" Yumi said excitedly, pointing at a startled Yahiko to Kenshin, who looked about ready to faint at any given second. Saito's idea of how fun this was going to be suddenly hit rock bottom at what "favors" these girls actually had in mind. If the entire deal was going to be like this, Saito wanted to know just when exactly it was going to end.
"Ooh, yeah! Good idea, Yumi!" Shura agreed, clasping her hands together in delight, "Okay, so do it! You go, we go! Come on, it's not that hard!"
'What the hell?!' Sanosuke thought, looking in from the window again as he held the walkie talkie up to his ear to hear their conversation, but he barely caught any of it. He peered into the glass screen, watching as Yahiko and Kenshin stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Yumi and Shura; Saito looked about ready to burst out laughing. 'Dude, I am so glad I'm not in there right now...' Sanosuke thought as he continued spying through the window and he stared in disbelief as Kenshin lowered down the side of his pants, 'What the hell is he doing?!'
"Just hurry up and do it!" Kenshin said, shutting his eyes so tight it actually hurt and he cringed at the awaited impact of Yahiko's hand on his butt cheek, trying his best to take his mind off the situation at hand and he thought about every possible perverted thing he could to prove that he was still straight.
'Alright, I'm still straight if I do this... I am... I'm still straight... Just think about non-bisexual things, non-bisexual things, uh... bikinis, boobies, condoms, um... pool tables, Kaoru on a pool table... in a bikini, porn... Ah! Make that straight porn! Straight porn! Girls in porn, um... Baywatch, the entire girl's volleyball team... Oh god, when is this going to be over?!' Kenshin thought, his face contorting into a twisted expression as the sound of hand against cheek sounded throughout his ears and Kenshin shouted out what seemed to be the tenth "Oro" of the day.
"Okay, I'm touching his ass, I'm touching his ass, I'm touching his ass..." Yahiko chanted as he tried not to look at what he was doing and concentrate on the big reward they would all get to see in return for the humiliation.
Saito lurched forward and he put his hands to the bottom of his throat to keep from vomiting as he turned away from the less than beautiful scene taking place in front of him. Yumi and Shura seemed to be enjoying their embarrassment more than the actual thing that they were doing and they smiled in satisfaction, holding out as long as they could before finally allowing him to let go.
Yahiko and Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief and Yahiko instantly yanked his hand away, creating a huge smacking sound from the tight hold and Kenshin immediately pulling up the side of his pants up to his waist and buckled it once more, giving Yahiko and Saito a warning look that read, "You tell anyone about this and that'll be the last thing you ever say!"
Sanosuke on the ladder, shuddered at the display that had (Thank God!) just ended and he turned his attention to the two girls in the room, eagerly anticipating the upcoming ass grabbing. He thanked his lucky stars that Megumi wasn't there at the moment to hit him over the head so he was free to enjoy the action.
"Alright, we did ours. Now you do yours," Yahiko said, gesturing them to get a move on and the girls both turned to each other with wide grins on their faces. Saito and Kenshin nodded and stepped back to watch them at a different angle that was a little more appreciative than from where they were originally standing.
Yumi slid her hand up Shura's thigh, doing it like she was some kind of expert (kinda makes you wonder...has she done this before?), reaching up the short skirt she wore and she grabbed her butt in her palm. Saito, Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke all watched with wide eyes, the whole ass grabbing embargo making them both excited and dwelling the next minute where they would have their turn again. Finally, slowly tracing her hand back down, Yumi and Shura both excitedly turned to the three guys again, not even aware of Sanosuke's presence in their window, and they suggested their new idea.
"Okay, now your turn!" Yumi said enthusiastically, jumping up and down with eager anticipation, "Hajime, you kiss Yahiko!"
"HELL NO!!!!!!" Saito shouted, his nostrils flaring at the very thought of kissing a member of the same sex both appalling and disgusting him at the same time, "I'm straight, god damn it! And don't call me Hajime! There's no way in hell, I'm kissing him!"
"Hey! I'm not a bad looking guy, you know!" Yahiko protested, deeply offended by the insult Saito threw at him, "I'll have you know, I'm one hella fucking good kisser too! Come on, Saito, take one for the team! If we do that, then just imagine what THEY'LL do!"
"Yeah, come on, Hajime!" Yumi pleaded, ignoring the fact that he had just told her not to call him by his first name and Shura joining in with the puppy-dog eyes and they both batted their eyelashes at him, "If you two do that, we'll do anything you guys want."
"Anything?" Saito asked, raising an eyebrow in uncertainty. He wasn't about to get ripped off by a couple of psycho lesbians with weird pleasure needs for nothing and he was going to make sure that they kept their word. If there was ever a reason for him to actually kiss another male, it had better be worth it.
"Anything," Yumi and Shura repeated, putting their hands up in a scout's honor to seal the promise and Saito rolled his eyes.
"Fine, you two better like it," Saito grumbled and he turned to Yahiko with a disgusted face, "Okay, I better not catch you smiling."
"Believe me, I won't be," Yahiko reassured him with another frown.
"Okay, ready? One, two, three..." Quickly, Saito and Yahiko smacked lips and pulled apart all in the same second, wiping their mouths off of any traces of the foul taste of another man's lips.
"What?! That didn't even count!" Shura protested, pointing angrily at the two, "That wasn't even a kiss! You probably kiss your own mother with more passion than that!"
"Yeah! That so does not count!" Yumi said, crossing her arms over chest in disapproval, "Now you have to do it again! With tongues!"
"WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!" Saito and Yahiko exclaimed, their eyes bulging out of their sockets at the word, 'tongues' and 'again.' There was absolutely no way in Hell they were about to do that again, no matter what the girls promised they'd do.
By now, Sanosuke had already left his place at the window to go throw up in the bushes in the front lawn, throwing away the walkie talkie in the trash can outside so that he could get as far away from hearing or seeing whatever crazy and wacky things they were all doing in there. Whatever it was, Sanosuke was definitely not up for watching another second.
Kenshin only backed away even farther from the four people in front of him. His fear that he would be next rose up the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end and caused his veins to pulsate under his skin. He wished with all his might that it was all just a dream, a very very very bad dream and he hit himself across the face to wake himself up, but the scenery still remained the same and he did not wake up in his bed safe and sound. He just couldn't take it anymore! More than just frightened, Kenshin fled from the room, running like a bolt of lightning streaking across the sky as he dashed out of the house. He didn't stop running until he was a good hundred yards away from the front yard and as he ran, Kenshin screamed at the top of his lungs, "Orororororo!"
"How about Yahiko just give me a handjob instead?" Saito suggested after they had all snapped out of their concentration on Kenshin's disappearing act.
Yahiko's jaw hit the floor at the mention of a handjob and his name in the same sentence, the idea not in the least bit better than the other option, in fact, Yahiko would have much rather preferred to just have kissed him instead.
"Alright! Go Yahiko! This ought to be good!" Shura cheered and Yumi gave Yahiko a slight smile as the girls waited for him to do his dirty work. And the word dirty was just the perfect description because the thought of going anywhere near whatever Saito had in his pants was enough to make his flesh crawl.
"Be a team player, Yahiko," Saito encouraged, "just think about what they'll do after this! They'll be screwing each other in no time!"
Yahiko looked from one expectant face to another, his complexion as pale as the remaining white paint on the walls. If he hadn't been wearing any clothes, he would have disappeared into them. Finally, he made his decision, bolting from the room so fast, it would have made Superman glow with envy.
"Get that thing away from me, Saito!" Yahiko screamed, the taller man following close at his heels, still trying to pull his pants back up as he yelled at Yahiko's 'stupidity.' "Put the snake back in the hole right now or I swear I'll wack it off with a chainsaw!" Yahiko warned, running in the same direction that Kenshin had gone, only this time, running for the sake of his hand's sanitary condition.
"Get back here, you pussy! Just take it like a man! Do you know what those girls were capable of doing after this?! You fucking messed it all up, you moron!!!" Saito screamed, tripping over his pants that were still trying to make their way around his waist as he desperately tried to pull them back up and chase after the shorter man at the same time, "You fucking loser! Just be a man and give me a goddamn handjob!!!!!"
A/N: Did I have you worried there for a second? Okay, just for future reference, this is not, I repeat, NOT, a yaoi! Hahaha! This happened in the movie, but of course, I changed it around a little bit so it fit more into my style of writing which hopefully is good. Sorry if this chapter was a little too much for anyone, but you know, leave your comments for me and I'll check it out. Next chapter, Sano and Megumi have a little "interesting" chat over the phone and Yahiko heads over to Misao's for his first lesson in training to become a sex expert! Don't miss it!