DISCLAIMER: What, I don't own FF7 and it's characters! What a shock! Somebody must've sold them to Squaresoft while I wasn't looking. ^_^ Oh and there's a weird reference to The Cardigans' lyrics. Watch out for that.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Heh.. I can't believe it's chapter 30 already! Since this is an event I consider special, there'll also be a special treat in store for all of you! I know you readers probably want Aeris and Sephiroth to remember their past together, right? I feel remembering those things is not really necessary for them to be happy. The reason I put that whole aspect in this story was to sort of give you a little perspective. Who was it that said: those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it? I think that's so true in this story. But I didn't mean to get all philosophical on you: they will remember their pasts at one point. That point is however, not quite yet. *smirks evilly* Thanks so much for reading!
CHAPTER 30.
In what distant deeps or
skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, and
what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
- William Blake -
"I can't believe it's morning already.." Aeris whispered, while turning to her side. She studied the vacant look in Sephiroth's eyes for a while, and smiled. "I can't believe we've really come this far." She continued, and extended her arm to stroke Sephiroth's silvery hair, that spread down his shoulder and the pillow nearby.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Sephiroth mumbled, and turned to his back. The sun was rising, and the bright glow of it's first beams stung his eyes.
"You didn't get much sleep huh?" Aeris grinned, but in her voice was a worried undertone.
"No. Not that I complain. I'm pretty relaxed as it is. Almost pleasantly numb." He smirked, and Aeris watched as his expression returned to neutral.
"Somethings bothering you.." Aeris bit her lip. She hated it when Sephiroth simply refused to be helped.
"I was just thinking.. about Niebelheim." He said, and the word caused goose-pimples to appear on Aeris' skin.
"Well, it's a beautiful morning, the birds are chirping.. You're in the company of a woman who loves you.. What else would you be thinking." Aeris joked, and smiled widely as Sephiroth chuckled. She loved to make him smile.
"I just can't shake this feeling.. That there's something right in front of me, only I.." Sephiroth wringed his brow, and looked very concentrated a moment.
"..Maybe you're trying too hard. Just give it time, I'm sure everything will work out." Aeris said, and smiled as Sephiroth grabbed her fingers and held them gently in his grasp.
"Maybe." He said, and smiled strangely. There was something in his expression, that made Aeris feel worried.
"We should probably get up already. We're leaving for the Highwind pretty early, right?" Sephiroth checked, and Aeris just nodded at him. Last night when Sephiroth had returned from his walk he had seemed like everything was OK again, but this morning he seemed somehow.. Absent-minded, as though his body was here but his thoughts somewhere else entirely.
"Sephy.. I think it's time we have the talk." Aeris sat up on the bed, and folded her legs beneath her.
"About the birds and the bees? A little too late for that, isn't it?" Sephiroth joked, but Aeris silenced him with a look. She wasn't going let him wriggle his way out of this one, Sephiroth realized, and sighed in defeat.
"What happened in Niebelheim? Seriously.." Aeris asked, a bit shyly.
"..Are you sure you want to know?" Sephiroth asked, and Aeris just nodded back at him.
"I don't know really." He begun, and stood up from the bed to avoid Aeris' gaze. She just sat in silence, waiting for Sephiroth to continue. "I think about it a lot.. Especially on moments like these.. When everythings so perfect." He frowned, and glanced at Aeris. "Ever since I was a child.. I've always felt like it's a crime to be too happy." He confessed, and noticed Aeris moved a bit closer, to sit at the edge of the bed.
"When we walked into that town on a mission five years ago.. It seemed like any other town.. They all looked the same to me, back then. The people, the houses.. everything." Sephiroth kept talking, and almost as though guided by instict, he walked to the window, and stared at the view spreading from it. "But.. for the first time I heard this voice.. of a woman I didn't know." Sephiroth didn't turn back to look at Aeris, fearing what he might see in her eyes. Pity, anger, fear?
"I was so used to hearing her only in my sleep.. In twisted nightmares that.." Sephiroth fell silent, and bowed his head down a little. "Forget it." He said with a sigh, perhaps more to himself than Aeris.
"No, I want to hear." Aeris' voice was determined, and Sephiroth respected her for wanting to see this through even if she might end up with her feelings hurt.
"We left for the Niebelheim Reactor, to fix the malfunction as we were assigned to do.." Sephiroth continued, staring at the corpse of a dead monster outside, that was covered in a flock of black birds eating it. "And Jenova's voice.. it became even more intense.. But there weren't any words in her speach, it was mumbling.. It was suffocated, like someone was holding his hand in front of her mouth." Sephiroth spoke in a faraway voice. "Just whispers.." He snorted, and glanced at Aeris. She was still looking at him, genuinely interested.
"When we reached the core of the Reactor, there were these white, egg-like tanks everywhere. In rows.. They were nothing new to me, I had seen similar things at Hojo's labs.. Where I grew up." Sephiroth explained. "I remember how much fun Hojo had when introducing me to his latest projects. He always liked to crossbreed different species of monsters.. Out of curiosity." Sephiroth realized he was getting away from the subject, and composed himself.
"I looked at the creatures inside and.." He fell silent again, and swallowed as he relived the memory of that fateful day. "A First Class officer in my company made an innocent remark.. Something along the lines of the creatures being disgusting monsters.." The silver-haired man smirked, and closed his eyes as the sunlight hit his face. "And I could hear.. Jenova.. whisper this one word over and over again like a broken record: son.." Sephiroth repeated the word, and caught himself listening to the echo of it. "Her voice was broken and full of pain, such anguish.." Sephiroth shook his head gently.
"You know those abstract pictures, that don't seem to be really portraying anything at first, and then the picture just suddenly pops up?" Sephiroth asked, and for a moment Aeris wondered what made him change the subject so dramatically. She nodded, and Sephiroth smiled approvingly. "And when the picture is unveiled before your eyes.. You'll always see it, no matter what.. There's no going back, you know?" Sephiroth asked, and suddenly Aeris understood what he meant. That day, Sephiroth had discovered the truth of himself.. And he could never again return to the life he had led before.
"What I saw that moment, frightened me. I saw.. the portrait of a monster. At first I didn't want to believe it.." Sephiroth muttered. "But then I went to the Library.. I don't know why I never went there before.. I always felt so sad there.. and somehow.." Sephiroth spoke slowly, as though trying to grab the ends of his thought. "I read about the experiments that lead to my.. creation, as I then believed. About the sacrifices that were made to build the perfect killing machine." Sephiroth continued, in a strange bitter voice. "The tone of the writings was so scientific and detached.." He sighed.
"Jenova kept.. speaking to me.. It felt like a dream." Sephiroth said, and tried to resist the urge to walk even further away from Aeris. "I remember walking out of the Mansion and.. destroying everything in sight. I mean everything. I don't think I really even noticed what I was doing.. It was like a reflex. I was hurt.. So.. I killed." Sephiroth lifted his chin, and stared at the ceiling a moment.
"I walked to Jenova.. Or more like to one of the parts of her.. And she kept making promises of happiness and life beyond obeying humans and.. being lonely all the time.." Sephiroth smirked, but there was a deeply sad look in his eyes. "I felt like she understood me, and even though she looked nothing like me, I had no problems accepting her as my mother.. As you so gently put it, I had the lowest self-esteem possible." Sephiroth frowned in Aeris direction, and noticed there were tears in her eyes.
"I remember.. perhaps it was Cloud.. wanted revenge for what I had done.. I had no problems defeating him, or so I thought.. I walked out of the reactors core, to the bridge that connected the core to the outer parts of the reactor and I walked across it, over these large pools of Mako, when.." Sephiroth fell silent. "I remember the pain.. when someone stabbed me. And I remember falling to the Mako.." The voice of the silver-haired man quivered, and he looked rather exhausted. "I never felt any fear.. only anger. I couldn't believe I had been so careless.." Sephiroth confessed, and glanced at Aeris again. She stood up in silence, and walked to Sephiroth.
"Some time later I woke up in sector 2 slums.. I had a bad case of Mako poisoning and pretty much no memories of the last years.. All I had was Jenova. She claimed she had rescued me and.. I was repaying the favour, when we met." Sephiroth finished, and breathed calmly as Aeris wrapped her arms around him and hugged him warmly. Sephiroth enjoyed quiet moments like these, he felt there were never any strings attached. He could just enjoy the moment and not fear there'd be a price to pay.
"Are you two done cuddling or should I come back later?" Red grinned from the door, that appeared to have been left unlocked. Aeris blushed as she remembered how warmly she had welcomed Sephiroth after he had come back from his walk last night.
"What time is it?" Aeris asked, never pulling back from her boyfriend.
"It's six thirty or something like that.. Don't you just hate leaders who like to wake up early?" Red yawned, clearly still tired.
"Cloud just doesn't want to miss the Reunion." Aeris said light-heartedly, but didn't miss the strange look that appeared on Sephiroth's face. "What's wrong." She asked.
"Nothing." He answered, and Aeris just shook her head in mock-despair.
"I had that one coming, didn't I.." She muttered, but Sephiroth didn't get her joke.
"Well, hurry up and come downstairs.. I still have to go wake up Barret." Red yawned.
"Oh boy.. Good luck." Aeris smiled at the red-furred creature, and watched as he dissappeared behind the half-open door of her room.
"Now, where were we?" Aeris turned back to Sephiroth, and smiled. Her eyes were sparkling with insinuations, but suddenly she just turned her back at him and walked towards the door. "On our way to have breakfast?" She giggled from it.
* * * * *
"No, I'm *not* gonna say I'm sorry." Cloud sulked, while chewing his piece of white bread. "I'm not and that's final." He continued, as Tifa kept staring at him with a hurt look in her eyes.
"You can't keep hating him forever. I'm sure it would mean a lot to Aeris.. After all Sephiroth brought her back. And now that I think about it.. I agree with Yuffie, I don't think it was him who killed those people. The place looked messy.. Sephiroth was always so precise and swift.. But Zenobius, on the other hand--" Tifa continued, as suddenly Cloud interrupted her with a look.
"OK, so I agree. But I'm not apologizing to.. Sephiroth." Cloud snarled his former unit leaders name like it was a curse.
"It's just that.. Aeris looked pretty upset when you attacked Sephiroth.. And I'm just thinking.. It's OK, if you did it just to get back at him for your mother." Tifa smiled, and judging by the look on Clouds face she had hit the spot.
"How about your father? Don't you want revenge anymore?" Cloud asked her.
"I've come to realize there are more important things in life than revenge.. I think hate has stopped to be the source of my strength a long time ago." Tifa continued to smile, a bit nervous look in her eyes.
"I'm glad for you.. but.." Cloud shook his head frustrated. "I just can't let go, you know. My mother wanted me to succeed in SOLDIER.. She always looked after me, back then when I was always getting into fights.. I would've wanted her to see how well I'm doing now." Cloud continued.
"How do you know she's not watching..?" Tifa asked, and Cloud just smiled back at her. It was amazing how Tifa always seemed to know the right things to say.
"I love you!" He chuckled, and then all colour was drained from his face. Ups, Cloud thought, and felt like hitting himself. It was so typical of him to blurt things out like that.
"What did you say?" Tifa blinked, and for the longest awkward moment they just grinned at each other.
"Nothing, I.." Cloud began, as Tifa's lips drew into a smile.
"I love you too.." She said, and blushed at the words.
"Y-you do?" Cloud swallowed hard. "You know Tifa.. It felt good to hurt him." Cloud confessed after a moment of charged silence.
"You'd better not let Aeris hear that, she might try to suffocate you with a pillow or something." Tifa joked, still blushing.
"But I'm not like Sephiroth.. I couldn't enjoy killing anyone." Cloud told the dark-brown haired girl seated in front of him.
"I know." She replied, and for a moment the two friends just stared at each other.
"Where is everybody?" Aeris asked, while walking down the stairs leading down to the bar from the Inn's register.
"Sleeping most likely." Cloud answered, and glanced at Sephiroth who was walking down not far behind Aeris. He seemed his usual self, cold and uncaring. Cloud still had problems to believe he could ever be in a relationship with a person like Aeris, who seemed to be his completele opposite.
"Oh, daisys!" Aeris smiled at the sight of some flowers in vases. She walked to the table and sat down, grabbing one of the flowers. "So what's this about?" Aeris asked Cloud, briefly smiling at Sephiroth as he sat down on the opposite side of the table, facing her.
"We'll just go through the travel-plans, that's all.." Tifa shrugged.
"We're still heading for north, right?" Aeris asked, and felt a bit cold from just the thought of all that snow and ice.
"Yeah." Cloud said, and he and Sephiroth exchanged an angry look. Aeris shuddered as she remembered the way Sephiroth had gotten wounded, and hoped that any further battling between the two ex-SOLDIERs could be avoided.
"So Cloud, did you hear the latest rumours on Shin-Ra.." Tifa began talking with Cloud again, but Aeris didn't care to listen to their conversation. Instead she began plucking the petals of the daisy in her hand. Loves me, loves me not, loves me.. Aeris repeated in her thoughts, and as she was down to the last three petals she felt Sephiroth's gaze upon her.
"You really expect a flower to tell you how someone feels?" Sephiroth asked, guessing what Aeris had been thinking while plucking the white petals.
"Flowers are a lot smarter than you'd think." Aeris countered, and pulled the final petal loose. It fell to the surface of the table slowly, in a neat white pile.
"So what has that one told you? Ouch that hurts?" Sephiroth raised his brow, a quizzical look in his eyes.
"Haha. Funny." Aeris looked at Sephiroth, smiling adoringly. "Actually, it tells me he loves me not." She continued, and placed the petal-free flower back into the vase she had taken it from.
"Maybe you should try another flower then. That one seems to be broken." Sephiroth grinned, and Aeris burst into laughter.
"Oh, you're too much!" She laughed, and held her eyes at Sephiroth even though Yuffie was walking down the stairs to the lounge below. She looked awfully tired, rubbing her eyes and yawning widely.
"Oh gosh. Grow up people." Yuffie groaned, and Aeris finally noticed the way Cloud and Tifa were staring at each other. She felt glad, that they were finally getting closer to each other, all though the memory of seeing Cloud hurt Sephiroth still stung Aeris' heart.
"Why the @&%£$ do we have to meet this &£$@# early in the @£$%& morning!" Cid asked, clearly on a bad mood. Though Aeris admitted, sometimes it was difficult to tell. He behaved just as rudely when on a good mood too. Cait Sith, Vincent and Barret followed Cid in silence, with slightly baffled expressions on their faces. Sometimes Cids language managed to break through to even those who had thought they had heard everything.
"Is everyone here?" Red asked from on top of the stairs, and after a guick glance at the lounge he decended down.
"Well then.. After breakfast we'll head back to Highwind and head towards north.. We decided it would be best to land near Icicle Village. From there we'll continue by foot.. This is the big one, so be prepared for a lot of fighting. We don't know what to expect from Jenova." Cloud finished his speach, and glanced at Sephiroth as though waiting him to say something. Instead, Sephiroth just stared into space, ignoring the worried looks from Aeris' direction.
After eating quickly, the AVALANCHEr's gathered their things and prepared their chocobos for the long ride back to Highwind. Aeris fed hers and Sephiroth's black chocobo a few greens, while Sephiroth finished attaching their equipment on the birds back.
"Sephy?" Aeris suddenly asked, and Sephiroth glanced at her before continuing to stuff supplies into two bags.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Do you think we'll be able to beat Jenova?" Aeris asked, and Sephiroth just stood in silence a moment.
"It depends." He answered then.
"Of what..? Me?" Aeris frowned, hoping her boyfriend would prove her wrong.
"What do you mean? Has someone said something about a thing depending on you?" Sephiroth glanced at her suspiciously, and Aeris smiled at his worried expression.
"Could you please say that a bit more vaguely please? I almost understood what you were saying." Aeris joked, but her smile was soon wiped from her lips as Sephiroth took a step closer to her.
"I've been.. hearing voices again." Sephiroth finally admitted, and a bit frightened look spread on Aeris' face. "And I was just wondering.. if you have too." He asked.
"No, I haven't.." Aeris shook her head, and contemplated whether to ask the next question or not. "Is it.. Jenova?" She asked, relieved when Sephiroth shook his head as a no.
"Hey ya two, stop talkin' and get walkin'!" Barret shouted from the back of a small row of chocobos, that were heading towards the exit of Cosmo Canyon.
"I won't tell Cloud." Aeris said, as she hopped on the chocobo, glad as Sephiroth followed her example and sat down behind Aeris. He then steered the chocobo towards the gate, and made it sprint so that they'd catch the others.
* * * * *
There was a note on the wall of a bar, almost tempting the half-drunken people to follow it's suggestion. Sephiroth's eyes ran across the short text quickly. The tittle was: join SOLDIER today! The paragraph below it promised a chance for everyone to make history. To make a difference, influence the fate of the Planet. What a joke, Sephiroth mused, and quickly drank his small glass of alcohol.
"Another?" The bartender asked indifferently, and Sephiroth just nodded at him in silence. There was still time..
"So what's your story?" The bearded man asked, while re-filling Sephiroth's glass.
"Oh.. you know.. Once upon a time, on a dark and stormy night.." Sephiroth answered calmly, staring into the depths of his glass. The bright liquid twirled around a moment, waiting to be swallowed.
"The mrs left, huh?" the man asked, and Sephiroth laughed dryly.
"Just let me be." He grunted, and didn't bother to glance at the owner of the bar he was in.
"Suit yourself." The dark-haired man shrugged, and moved to the other side of the wooden counter, cleaning it with a damp cloth.
The bartender looked slightly overweight, dressed in the typical slum style. His black trousers were held up by suspenders, but they were so stained and patched they looked more like a patchwork guilt. His navy blue shirt was missing a few buttons from the top. The man looked happy though, Sephiroth noticed. The bartender walked to the other customer sitting at the opposite side of the counter, exhanged a few friendly words and then left from behind the counter to to bar, to collect empty glasses and wake up a few middle aged men who had passed out.
"Time to go home Reggie.." Sephiroth heard the bartender say, as he shoved one of the very much drunken men out of the bar. Sephiroth turned his eyes at the mirror on the opposite side of him, on the wall. He stared at himself in the eyes for a while, until he just had to turn his gaze away. Sephiroth had long ago begun to hate mirrors, for a reason he didn't fully understand. He wasn't sure was it because of something he saw in his reflection.. or because of something he could never see? Sephiroth quickly finished his drink, and gave one last look at the poster nearby the exit.
There was a picture in it, just below the tittle, where a group of happy looking cadets were sitting in one of the larger lecture halls at SOLDIER academy. The picture was old, grainy and it's colours had begun to fade, but Sephiroth could still see the faces of young men and women, and the hope in their eyes. At the upper left corner of the picture, one boy in particular caught Sephiroth's attention. He was looking straight at the camera, almost defiantly, as though scolding the poor soul who'd ever glance at the picture. His silvery hair fell down the sides of his face in heavy bangles that looked almost like small snakes, reaching their venomous heads towards anyone who'd be foolish enough to approach him. He looked so out of place with his anger, so alienated and alone.. Sephiroth snorted, and placed a large enough amount of gil to cover his bill to the counter, and exited the bar. He didn't need this right now, Sephiroth thought, and silently felt grateful for having a mission in his life as a distraction.
Outside it was still dark, though streetlamps lit up a few corners of the main square of sector 2 slums. Unpaved, dry-soiled roads led from the 'Crossways Bar and Inn' to the main square, and Sephiroth began walking casually ahead. He passed shanty looking buildings, and noticed the bright circles of light, that the windows of the houses cast in the darkness. They glowed so invitingly, Sephiroth mused as he passed them by. He supposed it was possible to make a home in a shed, it really didn't take much to create a wam, loving environment. Sephiroth gritted his teeth, as he saw a broken childrens toy lying on the ground. He had wasted so much of his life.. So many years he'd never get back. The thought of dying alone, weak and helpless was more frightening to Sephiroth than anything he might have to endure with Jenova.
It's time.. She suddenly whispered, her voice humming in Sephiroth's ears.
"The train doesn't leave until the morning." Sephiroth muttered, as he saw the distant image of trains waiting around on the small station.
Don't waste any time.. Remember your promise.. Jenova's voice was distant, and full of suffery. She sounded weak, and it made Sephiroth angry. After all, when he had woken up with a Mako poisoning without any memories of the past years, Jenova had been there for him. She had protected him.. It was something Sephiroth had never experienced before.
"..What promise?" Sephiroth thought aloud, tilting his head. A flash of the Shin-Ra headquarters ran through Sephiroths mind like an electric shock, startling him. Soon the memory was erased from his mind, as Sephiroth just locked it away into the deepest corners of his brain.
Come.. Jenova whispered, and Sephiroth could almost feel an invisible force pull him gently closer to the trainstation. He could see there weren't any people standing around the platform, even though a lonely street lamp lit it up. Small puddles of dirty water on the platforms gleamed in the shades of it's bluish light.
"Don't worry.. I will." Sephiroth smirked coldly, relishing the sudden feeling of energy gushing in his veins. He always felt so alive just before battle, so aware of every tinge of the moment.
* * * * *
"Sephiroth..?" Aeris' voice quivered, as she pointed to a strange looking monster that seemed to be half machine.
"Yes?" Sephiroth said, indifferently, while gently pulling back the reins of their black chocobo. The two of them were a little behind the others, since it looked like Cloud was racing against Sephiroth. The older man considered such a competition childish, and didn't care to sink on his level. Still, Sephiroth had to admit the satisfied grin on Clouds face had felt irritating.
"..What do you want me to do?" He asked, as the strange monster came closer with a ferocious look on it's face.
"Kill it, Kill it!" Aeris shouted, and they both jumped down from on top of the black chocobo. Aeris walked it some distance away, clearly frightened.
"That sounds kind of funny coming from you." Sephiroth smirked, and then turned to the monster casually. It was almost twice his size, and of deep green colour. There were a set of wheels below it, which suggested it could be a creation of Shin-Ra's. They had once attempted to unite the best aspects of a machine to those of monsters. But as Sephiroth recalled, they hadn't been very succesful.
"Comet2!" Sephiroth cast the powerful spell on the monster, and watched as the rain of meteors killed it.
~Danger!~ a voice suddenly bawled in Sephiroth's ears, and as he turned to Aeris he noticed she was clutching her head from the intensity of the voice. As Aeris raised her eyes, she noticed Sephiroth was staring at her.
"You heard it too?" He asked, a bit stunned. "B-but.. That was the planet." Aeris said, thinking more about how Sephiroth could hear the cetra than the message that they had just sent. "How can you.. You've got Jenova cells. They wouldn't want to speak to you." Aeris thought aloud, and immediatly cursed her bad choise of words.
Sephiroths gaze sunk, and he walked over to the frightened looking black chocobo in silence.
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised, I thought you heard.. Jenova." Aeris continued, mentally hitting herself. "Not that I didn't trust you when you said you didn't, I just thought maybe you couldn't recognize her voice." Aeris continued, following Sephiroth's every movement. He didn't look any different, and his motions didn't seem particularly tense, but there was something in his eyes that caught Aeris' attention. It was hurt.
"Hey.." Aeris walked to him, and attempted to touch him, but Sephiroth avoided her hand by moving to the other side of the chocobo.
"We'd better get going. I'm not sure what the cetra meant, but it can't be anything good." He told Aeris in a determined voice, and jumped on top of their big black bird.
"You're right." Aeris nodded, and allowed Sephiroth to help her up. As she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against the impenetrable wall of Sephiroth's back, Aeris thought back to the innocent remarks Yuffie had made. She had claimed Aeris' life would be nothing but running from one crisis to the next. She had begun to believe her life would not be that different alone either. She was the last cetra and would probably always be in danger.. and without Sephiroth, Aeris wondered if she'd have the strength to keep fighting.
* * * * *
She's coming.. Jenova laughed maliciously, as she slid into the shadows of a crumbling, old building. The stone walls were deteriorating due to their age, and grass was growing through the stone paved roads. The entire city looked abandoned and drowzy, almost as if it was waiting for life to return there.
"Good. I was getting bored." Zenobius smirked, while polishing his sword. His favourite weapong was speacially designed for him by Shin-Ra's weapons department, and it had several unique features to it. In spite of it's beatifully ornamented surface, it was nothing compared to Sephiroth's Masamune though. Zenobius remembered reading, that the long-bladed sword was made for Sephiroth by the best sword-makers in the world, and it was the only one of it's kind. Even though Zenobius admired the sword, there was little point in stealing it. After all, Sephiroth was the only one who could use it to it's full potential.
Don't worry.. Your sword shall soon have a victim to plunge into. Jenova chuckled at the thought, relishing the image of Aeris' death in her mind.
"You're a one sick lady.." Zenobius glanced at Jenova, and they both laughed cruelly.
* * * * *
"Are we there yet?" Yuffie asked Cloud, with an exaggarated look of suffery on her face.
"I told you, not yet. Just sit down and wait." Cloud snapped at her, for he was rather getting annoyed with the teenager repeating her whining every five minutes.
"Well, If I'll vomit I know who to do it on." Yuffie muttered to herself.
"I can't find a place to land this bloody thing.." Cid circled above the vast snowfields. "There's not one frickin' spot available! Like trying to find a parking spot around Loveless theatre on a £$%¤& opening night!" The platinum haired pilot continued to curse his bad luck.
"You've actually been to Loveless theatre?" Cloud raised his brow suspiciously.
"It's a saying, you stupid--" Cid began, when suddenly he saw Aeris walk into the cockpit of the Highwind airship - alone.
"Where's.. umm.." Tifa began. They had all grown used to thinking of Sephiroth as Aeris' shadow, who always followed her everywhere she went; like an obedient, though extremely scary-looking puppy dog.
"I told him to rest for a moment." Aeris grinned awkwardly, and walked to Tifa.
"Are we ever gonna land this thing?" Yuffie asked in despair, and Cloud just glared back at her.
"Hey Aeris.. About the promise.." Tifa smiled sheepishly.
"I know you did what you could." Aeris just nodded, accepting Tifa's apology even though she never spoke the actual words: I'm sorry about what happened.
"I appreciate it that.. You're not blaming me." Tifa continued.
"Yeah, not that many people would want to be enemies with you now that you're together with Sephiroth. I mean, one word ahead and.. she'd be dead." Yuffie spoke, and Tifa's eyes went wide with the thought. She definately didn't want Sephiroth to ever slash at her again.
"Don't be so dramatic, Yuffie.. He's not like that." Aeris just sighed.
"Oh yeah? I'm willing to bet you could make him do whatever you wanted. Admit it, you've totally got him under your control." Yuffie folded her arms, and stared down at Aeris defiantly. She was clearly waiting for an answer, but Aeris didn't know what to say. There were times when he had seen Sephiroth behave like a defenceless child, completely at her mercy, and then at times he was the most pig-headed, stubborn man she had ever met. But had she any real control over Sephiroth, Aeris wasn't sure.
"How is it going with him, in general?" Tifa asked, still a bit uncomfortable talking about the relationship between Aeris and Sephiroth. Aeris valued it a lot, that Tifa was at least trying to give Sephiroth a chance.
"Great." Aeris smiled. "But sometimes he just worries me.. It's weird how one minute he's begging me to never leave him, and the next moment he's pushing me away.. It's like he's not sure of what he wants." Aeris shrugged.
"Well, are you sure you want to be in a relationship like that? One'd think it'd be emotionally.. exhausting." Tifa asked, a somewhat apologetic tone to her voice.
"I made it sound like a lot bigger problem than it really is. I like him despite all his flaws.. Or in fact just because of them." Aeris answered mysteriously. She was truly enjoying the girly conversation, since it had been a while since there had been a chance for the AVALANCHEr's to unwind.
"I admit he's changed but still.. I could never even consider being in a relationship with Sephiroth, much less love him." Tifa shook her head.
"Well good. Because he's all mine." Aeris giggled light-heartedly.
Across from the sofa the three young women were sitting on, Cloud was trying to figure out his battle strategy. He realized there was a good chance of them walking into a trap, but the blonde man felt far too angry at Zenobius and Jenova to turn back now. How dared they use him to get rid of Sephiroth? Cloud felt like an idiot, for not realizing Zenobius' involvement from the moment his eyes met the sight of the destroyed Wutai.
"We're landing!" Cid exclaimed, as the Highwind began to lose altitude.
"Finally.." Yuffie sighed, looking rather sick.
"OK, we'd better get ready. There's still a long walk to Icicle Village from here, and I want to get there before dark. It's not safe to camp out on the snow-fields." Cloud explained to everyone.
"Not to mention, freezing cold!" Yuffie muttered as she walked out of the cock-pit and towards the cabins above it.
* * * * *
Sephiroth stood in the rather thin layer of powder snow, waiting for Aeris to tie her shoelaces. ~Jenova will be waiting..~ A sweet voice whispered him quietly, but Sephiroth didn't respond to it. He didn't want Aeris to notice anything, since it seemed she had not heard the same warning.
"My hands are freezing!" Aeris wrapped the warm blanket tighter around her shoulders, desperately trying to stop her bodyheat from escaping. The icy cold breeze, that never seemed to seize on the barren snowfields, hit against Sephiroth's back, throwing back his long hair.
"You should buy mittens.. Or something." Sephiroth muttered, glancing at Aeris briefly. Her cheeks had a healthy red glow to them, and a few snoflakes that had stuck to her hair glittered like small crystals.
"Yeah, I actually feel like doing some shopping." Aeris grinned, and grabbed Sephiroth's gloved hand. "Come on.. We'll be left behind." She smiled, and pointed towards the others already a small distance away.
"What's wrong with that..?" Sephiroth grunted, but followed Aeris as she began walking again.
"You think it's true what Cid said, that there'll be a snow-storm this evening?" Aeris asked, shivering in the low temperature. "The sky looks so clear.." She continued, fascinated by seeing her exhaled breath rise to the skies as a small, misty cloud.
"It's possible. Weather changes pretty quickly in areas this close to the north pole." Sephiroth answered, and Aeris glanced up at him. Sometimes it was so obvious how well educated Sephiroth was.. It made sence that anyone with a scientist for a father would be pressured into studying too. Aeris could only imagine what Sephiroth's childhood must've been like. No matter what he did, he could never satisfy the scientists surrounding him. They had constantly pressured him into always getting better results.
"We should be able to reach the village before the storm, though.." Sephiroth sounded confident.
"Good.. I'd hate to get lost out here.. All these places look so alike." Aeris explained, while viewing the surrounding nature. Everything was covered in pure white, powder snow, it hung even on the branches of tall leafless trees. In the distance, tall mountains rose towards the skies with white ice-covered tops.
"Listen.." Aeris suddenly spoke up in a serious tone. "I hope you don't think I don't trust you? 'Cause I do.. I'd trust my life in your hands." She grinned, and waited for Sephiroth to say something. Instead he just glanced at her in silence.
"What..?" Aeris asked, and Sephiroth didn't answer immediatly. Slowly his lips curved into a slight smile, and his gaze wandered back to the barely visible path they were walking on.
"You don't have to feel responsible for me." Sephiroth said. "My memories are my burdain alone.. I don't want you to nurse me." He continued.
"I don't nurse you, I just.. I really don't mind taking that weight off of your shoulders for a while." Aeris shook her head, noticing they were walking on quite a slow pace.
"That's.. sweet of you, but.. I don't want you to feel like you have to watch what you say or do around me. Even if I'd get hurt.. I can take it." Sephiroth replied, and noticed Red run back towards them. The red-furred creature seemed to be enjoying the snow and the cold, fresh air, since his thick fur kept him nice and warm.
"Is everything allright?" He shouted once he had come within hearing range.
"Yeah, we're just fine!" Aeris answered, and waved her hand at the creature.
"Try to keep up!" Red finished, and turned back to join the others. As he left, Aeris turned her attention back to her boyfriend, who seemed to be once again beating himself up over something.
"Sephiroth.. You sound like you want me to hurt you.. But would you really feel better, if I slapped you? 'Cause I swear to god, I'm close to doing just that." Aeris said, and heaved a sigh.
"..You have no idea how difficult it is.. To try and be good. Because the more you reach for it, the more you realize you'll never be.. good.. again. I'll always be a killer, even if I'd never take a life again." Sephiroth explained. "And in a way.. Maybe.. By suffering I could somehow.. redeem myself." He continued, and Aeris bit her lip.
"Why should you feel any more pain than you already have?" She asked him, and Sephiroth thought about his answer a long while.
"Because.. at times.. I don't feel pain. I'm happy, almost serene.. And that makes me feel more guilty than anything that I've ever done.." He confessed, turning his gaze away from the emerald glow of Aeris' eyes. When he felt her squeeze his hand for support, Sephiroth felt so weak. It was so easy to be weak and pitiful around Aeris. She never punished him for it, quite the opposite she encouraged him to behave more and more like what he felt. He had become a 'console-me'-type a guy, something Sephiroth had always despised.
"Let's just get to Icicle Village." He grunted, and hastened his pace. He could see the worried look never left Aeris' eyes, and it made Sephiroth feel guilty. He didn't want Aeris to worry about him. He was fine. He had always been fine, at least that's what Sephiroth told himself.
"Sephiroth?" Aeris spoke up again. "Do you think the storm will last long?" She asked.
"Probably. We might not be able to continue our journey until noon tomorrow.. It'd be pretty crazy to walk around in the dark anyway." Sephiroth grinned, remembering he had done just that on a few occasions. It seemed strange, that a person important enough could make all the years of learning how to think like a SOLDIER dissappear. Sephiroth's first priority wasn't the mission anymore.. And he was taking unnecessary risks for Aeris, whether he was willing to admit it or not.
Wow, chapter 30 is now officially DONE!! I actually liked this chapter, so hopefully you will too. ^_^ Umm, I know the green wheelie monsters don't live in the Canyon (at least not that I remember) but I just thought of those monsters when writing.. Don't ask me why 'cause I honestly don't know. ^_^ So anyway, I decided to write it that way in the spur of the moment and afterwards I just felt too lazy to change anything. I might revise this whole thing some day when I'll have developed a brain. And maybe an actual talent for this sorta thing. *Giggles*