* * *
Couldn't say when de act of sleeping turned t' actual sleeping because de two blended into one another seamlessly. When I woke, I woke slowly, not sure at first what roused me.
Heard someone speaking. Rogue.
"It's a long story an' Ah don't remember what comes before, but Ah always liked th' part where Set tears Osiris into little pieces an' Isis has ta travel all over so she can find 'em and magically put him back together, just 'cause she loves him so much."
Didn't t'ink it was possible t' choke on not'ing more dan a mouthful of air, but I managed.
"Remy, Ah know you're awake," she said sternly. "An' it's pointless ta pretend ya aren't."
"What gave me away?" I managed past dry lips. "Ugh. Feel like hell."
"That's no surprise, considerin'." She ran a finger lightly across my throat and I felt de uneven texture of material. "Ah guess it's 'cause ya've been torn apart an' stitched back together."
"Y' don't know de half of it, beb," I told her, t'inking 'bout what'd happened t' me. Was strange t' be back in a body again. Heavy.
"Ah think Ah might have some idea," she ventured cautiously.
"Dr. Moreau...did he...?"
"Th' collar's out. Mine too. Ah saw 'em myself. Looked like damn charcoal briquettes. Ah guess we just cain't have nice things." She laughed a little.
"And you're wearing de gloves again. Dat mean dat..."
"They're back. My powers Ah mean, not just the gloves." She sighed. "For better or worse Ah guess, but th' doctor didn't have much ta do with that. Ah'm guessin' that was more your handiwork." Opened my mouth t' answer, but she stopped me by putting her hand over my lips. "Just open your eyes first, okay? Ah'm sick o' talkin' like this."
Was a simple request and I wanted t' see her in any case. At least de room was dim so dat when I opened my eyes it wasn't a shock. Rogue was very close, peering into my face as if she might see her future dere. "Your breath smells like coffee, chére," I teased. She started back. "What's wrong?"
"Your eyes. What happened to 'em?"
"What do dey look like?" I asked fearfully.
"Black. They're black an' the parts that used ta be brown are red. It's...different." She smiled dangerously. "Ah like it."
Felt panic stirring in de pit of my stomach. Wit' eyes like dat dere was no way t' hide my mutation. Mebbe den de t'ing dat had happened in de diner would happen again. Passed my hand shakily over my face. "Must be a little parting gift," I muttered.
"Ya think this is a side-effect o' what Dr. Moreau did?"
"Your guess as good as mine, beb. Hell, your guess as good as Dr. Moreau's for dat matter."
"Ororo told me about his machine."
Shaded my eyes wit' my hand. "Where is it now?"
"Th' others are loadin' it onto the x-jet. Th' Professor thinks it's safer if we keep it for awhile so Magneto cain't..." She took my hand in both of hers and gently lowered it from my face. "Please don't keep doin' that," she pleaded softly. "It scares me when ya do that."
"Scares you?"
She looked thoughtful standing dere next t' me wit' her hair hanging down partway across her face. Brushed it back delicately wit' de back of my other hand. Though I barely touched her, I could feel de powers hovering between us again like static. "Ya ever have a scar?" she asked suddenly.
"T'ink y' know de answer t' dat question," I reproached her lightly.
When she shook her head, de soft strands of her hair brushed against my knuckles. "Not like that. A scar on your face?"
Shrugged. "Not yet. Y' offering t' give me one?"
She leaned closer and I saw her roll her eyes. "Look here," she said, pointing t' a thin, white mark just underneath her right eyebrow. "Ah got this scar two years ago when Ah was back in Caldecott. Me an' some friends were playin' baseball an' Ah was runnin' home. My friend, Cody was standin' there. Ah'm not real sure why he had the bat in his hand, but Ah couldn't stop an' someone pushed him forward an' crack!" I winced. "There was blood runnin' down my face into my eyes. Ah remember how it looked when it fell on the grass. Had ta wear a big bandage for about a week. Ah had a black eye too an' had ta keep explainin' ta everyone how it'd all happened. Ah hated it."
"I bet," I murmured, picturing Rogue's annoyed face and smiling.
"But now Ah cain't imagine my face without it. It lets me know myself from other people." She was still holding onto me wit' one hand, but she pushed her sleeve back wit' de other, exposing de numbered tattoo she'd gotten in de prison in Genosha. "It's like this too. We have ta remember the things we've come through so we can look back on 'em an' be amazed at how brave we were."
"But..."
"That's why it scares me, because ya seem ashamed when ya don't have a reason ta be ashamed o' yourself." She squeezed my hand. We were quiet for a moment. I traced her knuckles wit' my thumb. "What did ya do?" she asked finally. "When Ah was in th' van? Ah could tell it was you."
"Dr. Moreau's machine let me become...more dan I was before, more powerful. I was part of de energy inside you." She pinkened a little at dat and I grinned. "Hard t' explain. It was like tearing a hole in de collar and letting all de energy out."
"But...is it gone now? Ah mean, could ya do it again?"
T'ought 'bout dat for a while. "Non. Don't feel de same way. T'ink dat whatever it was burned too hot and now it's gone." Swallowed a small disappointment at dat. "Don't care. Was never meant t' live by de powers alone."
"Remy, there's somethin' Ah...needed ta say."
"Yes?" Dis time de dryness in my mouth had not'ing t' do wit' exertion. But, of course, dat's when Kurt and Kitty burst into de room.
"Rogue!" Kitty yelled. "Professor X says we totally need to...woah. Hey, he's up!" She grinned broadly at me.
"Dis is certainly a change," I said t' no one in particular.
"Just don't mention Scott and she's fine," Kurt advised, earning a punch in de shoulder. "Ow! Zat wasn't soft, Kitty!"
She smiled at him, baring her teeth in a way dat wasn't strictly friendly. "I know."
"Dat girl eat nails for breakfast?" I asked Rogue softly.
"We should all be so lucky," Rogue whispered back.
"At least we don't have to carry him," Kurt offered.
"What's all this 'we' business?" Kitty teased. She turned her attentions back t' us. "Anyway, like I said, the Professor's all anxious to get back to the Institute and Logan says to get your ass in gear because Sabretooth'll wake up soon and, big surprise, I guess he's not the world's greatest traveling companion."
"I'm not going," I said, de words coming out wit' more uncertainty dan I'd intended. Knew dat de break needed t' be cleaner dan I was making it.
Rogue snapped her head down t' look at me. "What?"
"I can't. It's not de right place."
"Well then what is th' right place? Ah'm not sure it even exists!"
"Stay just a little longer, Remy," Kurt said. "Please?"
"I want t' find dat man who attacked us. De one from de diner. I want t' find out what de pin on his collar was for. Don't know why, but I t'ink it's important." Looked up into Rogue's face, but it was shut tight against me and I couldn't begin t' guess what she was t'inking. I stood and moved toward Kitty and Kurt, hugging each in turn, before turning back t' Rogue. "Dere was somet'ing y' wanted t' say before?"
"It's not important now. It doesn't matter," she said stonily.
"Please, Rogue."
"Just go, okay? Obviously, there's nothin' keepin' ya here."
"Rogue," my voice was weak and pained. Wanted not'ing more dan t' forget and go back wit' her. We'd go t' school de next day and de day after dat, train in de Danger Room, dates on Fridays. But I couldn't forget dat man and de horrible way he'd looked at me and Kurt like he wanted not'ing other dan t' make us scream and cry before he killed us. Please, say somet'ing, I willed. She remained silent. "How far are we from de diner?" I asked Kurt.
"Three or four miles, maybe. Ve could at least give you a lift."
"It's better if you don't. I...I'm sorry dat it couldn't work out."
Surprisingly, Kitty flung her arms around my waist. She was crying, hard and silent, like her heart was breaking. When she pulled away she left a damp spot on my shirt. "Sorry," she sniffed.
I couldn't take anymore of dat. Spun on my heel and ran.
Took less time t' reach de end of de tunnel dan it had going de other way. Made my way carefully around de x-jet, keeping enough distance so dat I'd be sure none of dem saw me. My nerves were already ragged from de other goodbyes. Heard de roar of engines and felt de heat when dey took off, but I didn't turn t' watch dem go.
Was so loud dat I didn't realize someone was behind me until dey were right at my back. Grabbed for dere wrist and twisted t' flip dem over my arm, but instead I found myself on de ground wit' my own arm turned beneath me. Dere were twigs poking into my back, but when I realized who it was who'd pinned me I couldn't feel dem anymore.
"Losin' your touch, Cajun." Amazing how happiness rushes t'rough you like water. For de first time I could remember, couldn't t'ink of anyt'ing t' say. "Ah'll say one thing 'bout knowin' ya, Remy, a girl's got ta know her own mind."
"But...I t'ought y' weren't..."
"Ah wasn't. But ya didn't give me much more than a sliver of a chance, now did ya? Ah was thinkin' and now Ah've thought an' Ah will, at least as long as Ah can stand it. Ah didn't want ta answer so soon because Ah was afraid it might have been your life Ah'd be agreein' ta live, not mine."
"Yeah?"
She smiled bashfully. "Kitty helped. Ah cain't take all th' credit." She was suddenly thoughtful.
"What?"
"Ah was just thinkin' how disappointed Mr. Owens'll be ta lose th' two best students in honors English."
"Two best?"
She only laughed and jerked me t' my feet. "Yeah. Two best." She spun me around an' brushed de twigs and leaves from my back.
"I don't mean t' keep doing dis t' you," I told her.
"Keep doin' what?"
"Dragging y' everywhere. Keeping y' from home."
"First of all, you're not makin' me do anythin'; Ah thought Ah just got through explainin' that. Second of all, Ah...Ah don't even have a second of all!"
Had a feeling dat she did, but I didn't want t' push de issue. Seemed too delicate. "Okay, chére." Kissed her quickly, aiming for her cheek but hitting de side of her mouth instead.
"Out o' practice," she observed. "So once we get your bike then what?"
"Was t'inking of John. He would never join de x-men, but I don't like de idea of him working for Magneto."
"Ya think he'd help us track down th' guy from th' diner?"
Curled my hands into fists. "All we can do is ask."
We walked quietly for a while. De forest sounds rushed in -- crackle of our feet when we crushed small sticks, sighing wind t'rough de branches and de eternal twitter of birds. Rogue rested her hand on my forearm. When I stopped so did she.
"What's wrong?" she asked instantly.
"Not'ing."
She pursed her lips. "Doesn't seem like nothin'."
I ran a hand t'rough my hair. "Okay, it's not not'ing. When we were back dere, before Kitty and Kurt came in, what were y' going t' say? I t'ought I could leave it alone, but...sorry."
Rogue closed her eyes. "Ah bet ya know already."
She was right 'bout dat. Could almost see de word hanging in de air between us.
"I'd rather hear y' say it."
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. She stood on tiptoes t' throw her arms around my neck, pressing her body tightly against mine. "It's a hard thing," she admitted. I heard her breath rushing against my ear.
"I know."
De silence dat wasn't silent surrounded us again, and in dat silence she said it, softly and clearly.
FIN
* * *
A love-letter to all the people who've ever read and/or reviewed this series:
I couldn't have done any of this without your support and encouragement. Honestly, I can't remember when a story has consumed me so completely. I have the sneaking suspicion that it would've eaten me alive if it hadn't been for everyone being so darned nice.
I'm admitting a small measure of defeat here in that I was going to write an alternate ending with a tea/coffee party cliffhanger, but honestly, when I reached the end of the epilogue I was just exhausted. So I apologize for the lack of tea parties in this portion. The only thing to do is buy some fresh mint at the grocery store, boil some water, pour it over the mint leaves, add lots of sugar and have yourself a nice cup of mint tea just the way they make it in Morocco.
Oh, and don't forget to pat my head kindly on the way out. I'd get up, but I'm tired.
love + rockets, Sarah
Couldn't say when de act of sleeping turned t' actual sleeping because de two blended into one another seamlessly. When I woke, I woke slowly, not sure at first what roused me.
Heard someone speaking. Rogue.
"It's a long story an' Ah don't remember what comes before, but Ah always liked th' part where Set tears Osiris into little pieces an' Isis has ta travel all over so she can find 'em and magically put him back together, just 'cause she loves him so much."
Didn't t'ink it was possible t' choke on not'ing more dan a mouthful of air, but I managed.
"Remy, Ah know you're awake," she said sternly. "An' it's pointless ta pretend ya aren't."
"What gave me away?" I managed past dry lips. "Ugh. Feel like hell."
"That's no surprise, considerin'." She ran a finger lightly across my throat and I felt de uneven texture of material. "Ah guess it's 'cause ya've been torn apart an' stitched back together."
"Y' don't know de half of it, beb," I told her, t'inking 'bout what'd happened t' me. Was strange t' be back in a body again. Heavy.
"Ah think Ah might have some idea," she ventured cautiously.
"Dr. Moreau...did he...?"
"Th' collar's out. Mine too. Ah saw 'em myself. Looked like damn charcoal briquettes. Ah guess we just cain't have nice things." She laughed a little.
"And you're wearing de gloves again. Dat mean dat..."
"They're back. My powers Ah mean, not just the gloves." She sighed. "For better or worse Ah guess, but th' doctor didn't have much ta do with that. Ah'm guessin' that was more your handiwork." Opened my mouth t' answer, but she stopped me by putting her hand over my lips. "Just open your eyes first, okay? Ah'm sick o' talkin' like this."
Was a simple request and I wanted t' see her in any case. At least de room was dim so dat when I opened my eyes it wasn't a shock. Rogue was very close, peering into my face as if she might see her future dere. "Your breath smells like coffee, chére," I teased. She started back. "What's wrong?"
"Your eyes. What happened to 'em?"
"What do dey look like?" I asked fearfully.
"Black. They're black an' the parts that used ta be brown are red. It's...different." She smiled dangerously. "Ah like it."
Felt panic stirring in de pit of my stomach. Wit' eyes like dat dere was no way t' hide my mutation. Mebbe den de t'ing dat had happened in de diner would happen again. Passed my hand shakily over my face. "Must be a little parting gift," I muttered.
"Ya think this is a side-effect o' what Dr. Moreau did?"
"Your guess as good as mine, beb. Hell, your guess as good as Dr. Moreau's for dat matter."
"Ororo told me about his machine."
Shaded my eyes wit' my hand. "Where is it now?"
"Th' others are loadin' it onto the x-jet. Th' Professor thinks it's safer if we keep it for awhile so Magneto cain't..." She took my hand in both of hers and gently lowered it from my face. "Please don't keep doin' that," she pleaded softly. "It scares me when ya do that."
"Scares you?"
She looked thoughtful standing dere next t' me wit' her hair hanging down partway across her face. Brushed it back delicately wit' de back of my other hand. Though I barely touched her, I could feel de powers hovering between us again like static. "Ya ever have a scar?" she asked suddenly.
"T'ink y' know de answer t' dat question," I reproached her lightly.
When she shook her head, de soft strands of her hair brushed against my knuckles. "Not like that. A scar on your face?"
Shrugged. "Not yet. Y' offering t' give me one?"
She leaned closer and I saw her roll her eyes. "Look here," she said, pointing t' a thin, white mark just underneath her right eyebrow. "Ah got this scar two years ago when Ah was back in Caldecott. Me an' some friends were playin' baseball an' Ah was runnin' home. My friend, Cody was standin' there. Ah'm not real sure why he had the bat in his hand, but Ah couldn't stop an' someone pushed him forward an' crack!" I winced. "There was blood runnin' down my face into my eyes. Ah remember how it looked when it fell on the grass. Had ta wear a big bandage for about a week. Ah had a black eye too an' had ta keep explainin' ta everyone how it'd all happened. Ah hated it."
"I bet," I murmured, picturing Rogue's annoyed face and smiling.
"But now Ah cain't imagine my face without it. It lets me know myself from other people." She was still holding onto me wit' one hand, but she pushed her sleeve back wit' de other, exposing de numbered tattoo she'd gotten in de prison in Genosha. "It's like this too. We have ta remember the things we've come through so we can look back on 'em an' be amazed at how brave we were."
"But..."
"That's why it scares me, because ya seem ashamed when ya don't have a reason ta be ashamed o' yourself." She squeezed my hand. We were quiet for a moment. I traced her knuckles wit' my thumb. "What did ya do?" she asked finally. "When Ah was in th' van? Ah could tell it was you."
"Dr. Moreau's machine let me become...more dan I was before, more powerful. I was part of de energy inside you." She pinkened a little at dat and I grinned. "Hard t' explain. It was like tearing a hole in de collar and letting all de energy out."
"But...is it gone now? Ah mean, could ya do it again?"
T'ought 'bout dat for a while. "Non. Don't feel de same way. T'ink dat whatever it was burned too hot and now it's gone." Swallowed a small disappointment at dat. "Don't care. Was never meant t' live by de powers alone."
"Remy, there's somethin' Ah...needed ta say."
"Yes?" Dis time de dryness in my mouth had not'ing t' do wit' exertion. But, of course, dat's when Kurt and Kitty burst into de room.
"Rogue!" Kitty yelled. "Professor X says we totally need to...woah. Hey, he's up!" She grinned broadly at me.
"Dis is certainly a change," I said t' no one in particular.
"Just don't mention Scott and she's fine," Kurt advised, earning a punch in de shoulder. "Ow! Zat wasn't soft, Kitty!"
She smiled at him, baring her teeth in a way dat wasn't strictly friendly. "I know."
"Dat girl eat nails for breakfast?" I asked Rogue softly.
"We should all be so lucky," Rogue whispered back.
"At least we don't have to carry him," Kurt offered.
"What's all this 'we' business?" Kitty teased. She turned her attentions back t' us. "Anyway, like I said, the Professor's all anxious to get back to the Institute and Logan says to get your ass in gear because Sabretooth'll wake up soon and, big surprise, I guess he's not the world's greatest traveling companion."
"I'm not going," I said, de words coming out wit' more uncertainty dan I'd intended. Knew dat de break needed t' be cleaner dan I was making it.
Rogue snapped her head down t' look at me. "What?"
"I can't. It's not de right place."
"Well then what is th' right place? Ah'm not sure it even exists!"
"Stay just a little longer, Remy," Kurt said. "Please?"
"I want t' find dat man who attacked us. De one from de diner. I want t' find out what de pin on his collar was for. Don't know why, but I t'ink it's important." Looked up into Rogue's face, but it was shut tight against me and I couldn't begin t' guess what she was t'inking. I stood and moved toward Kitty and Kurt, hugging each in turn, before turning back t' Rogue. "Dere was somet'ing y' wanted t' say before?"
"It's not important now. It doesn't matter," she said stonily.
"Please, Rogue."
"Just go, okay? Obviously, there's nothin' keepin' ya here."
"Rogue," my voice was weak and pained. Wanted not'ing more dan t' forget and go back wit' her. We'd go t' school de next day and de day after dat, train in de Danger Room, dates on Fridays. But I couldn't forget dat man and de horrible way he'd looked at me and Kurt like he wanted not'ing other dan t' make us scream and cry before he killed us. Please, say somet'ing, I willed. She remained silent. "How far are we from de diner?" I asked Kurt.
"Three or four miles, maybe. Ve could at least give you a lift."
"It's better if you don't. I...I'm sorry dat it couldn't work out."
Surprisingly, Kitty flung her arms around my waist. She was crying, hard and silent, like her heart was breaking. When she pulled away she left a damp spot on my shirt. "Sorry," she sniffed.
I couldn't take anymore of dat. Spun on my heel and ran.
Took less time t' reach de end of de tunnel dan it had going de other way. Made my way carefully around de x-jet, keeping enough distance so dat I'd be sure none of dem saw me. My nerves were already ragged from de other goodbyes. Heard de roar of engines and felt de heat when dey took off, but I didn't turn t' watch dem go.
Was so loud dat I didn't realize someone was behind me until dey were right at my back. Grabbed for dere wrist and twisted t' flip dem over my arm, but instead I found myself on de ground wit' my own arm turned beneath me. Dere were twigs poking into my back, but when I realized who it was who'd pinned me I couldn't feel dem anymore.
"Losin' your touch, Cajun." Amazing how happiness rushes t'rough you like water. For de first time I could remember, couldn't t'ink of anyt'ing t' say. "Ah'll say one thing 'bout knowin' ya, Remy, a girl's got ta know her own mind."
"But...I t'ought y' weren't..."
"Ah wasn't. But ya didn't give me much more than a sliver of a chance, now did ya? Ah was thinkin' and now Ah've thought an' Ah will, at least as long as Ah can stand it. Ah didn't want ta answer so soon because Ah was afraid it might have been your life Ah'd be agreein' ta live, not mine."
"Yeah?"
She smiled bashfully. "Kitty helped. Ah cain't take all th' credit." She was suddenly thoughtful.
"What?"
"Ah was just thinkin' how disappointed Mr. Owens'll be ta lose th' two best students in honors English."
"Two best?"
She only laughed and jerked me t' my feet. "Yeah. Two best." She spun me around an' brushed de twigs and leaves from my back.
"I don't mean t' keep doing dis t' you," I told her.
"Keep doin' what?"
"Dragging y' everywhere. Keeping y' from home."
"First of all, you're not makin' me do anythin'; Ah thought Ah just got through explainin' that. Second of all, Ah...Ah don't even have a second of all!"
Had a feeling dat she did, but I didn't want t' push de issue. Seemed too delicate. "Okay, chére." Kissed her quickly, aiming for her cheek but hitting de side of her mouth instead.
"Out o' practice," she observed. "So once we get your bike then what?"
"Was t'inking of John. He would never join de x-men, but I don't like de idea of him working for Magneto."
"Ya think he'd help us track down th' guy from th' diner?"
Curled my hands into fists. "All we can do is ask."
We walked quietly for a while. De forest sounds rushed in -- crackle of our feet when we crushed small sticks, sighing wind t'rough de branches and de eternal twitter of birds. Rogue rested her hand on my forearm. When I stopped so did she.
"What's wrong?" she asked instantly.
"Not'ing."
She pursed her lips. "Doesn't seem like nothin'."
I ran a hand t'rough my hair. "Okay, it's not not'ing. When we were back dere, before Kitty and Kurt came in, what were y' going t' say? I t'ought I could leave it alone, but...sorry."
Rogue closed her eyes. "Ah bet ya know already."
She was right 'bout dat. Could almost see de word hanging in de air between us.
"I'd rather hear y' say it."
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. She stood on tiptoes t' throw her arms around my neck, pressing her body tightly against mine. "It's a hard thing," she admitted. I heard her breath rushing against my ear.
"I know."
De silence dat wasn't silent surrounded us again, and in dat silence she said it, softly and clearly.
FIN
* * *
A love-letter to all the people who've ever read and/or reviewed this series:
I couldn't have done any of this without your support and encouragement. Honestly, I can't remember when a story has consumed me so completely. I have the sneaking suspicion that it would've eaten me alive if it hadn't been for everyone being so darned nice.
I'm admitting a small measure of defeat here in that I was going to write an alternate ending with a tea/coffee party cliffhanger, but honestly, when I reached the end of the epilogue I was just exhausted. So I apologize for the lack of tea parties in this portion. The only thing to do is buy some fresh mint at the grocery store, boil some water, pour it over the mint leaves, add lots of sugar and have yourself a nice cup of mint tea just the way they make it in Morocco.
Oh, and don't forget to pat my head kindly on the way out. I'd get up, but I'm tired.
love + rockets, Sarah