Part XV
The sound of waves pounding into the shore was almost drowned out by the joyous shouting of an energetic group of preteens who had somehow managed to escape the confines of formal education for the day. There were far more people on the beach and boardwalk than he had expected at this time of the day, but he had to admit the weather was gorgeous. He'd left the jacket he'd needed this morning in the car and enjoyed the feel of the sun on his bare arms. He even kind of wished he had his swim trunks with him; a dip in the cool Pacific water would feel quite refreshing, and lying lazily to bake in the sun after would be even better.
Instead he was standing in the quietest spot he could find, one hand pressed against his ear to dull the ambient noise while he tried to hear Bobby through the cell phone with the other one. "Yeah, Hobbes. I got it. I'll call you later."
With a sigh, he stuffed the phone into his back pocket and looked over at Alyx. She was sitting on the low wall that edged this section of the beach and provided a division between the sand and the boardwalk of businesses and shops that catered to those who worshipped the sun. He had considered taking her to Kensington Beach, but decided against it. Her sense of smell was a bit too sensitive for that particular patch of sand and stench today. So instead he'd taken her up to Mission Beach near Belmont Park. Yeah, it was a little loud and a little crowded, even for a workday, but it was also a distraction -- just what the doctor ordered. So far, it seemed to be working.
She was stretched out along the wall, her hair pulled up into a bun that the breeze had pulled curls free from. She was anything but relaxed, though. To anyone else, she would appear to be another teen lazing about on a beautiful Southern California day, but to him she looked tense and strained. It wasn't the first time he'd watched her spend time twisting her neck and rolling her shoulders to relieve tension, but usually it was after a stress-filled job and not after spending the morning hacking into databases. Of course, now that he had spoken to Bobby, he knew exactly what information she had gathered and it wasn't very comforting.
For a moment he considered taking off with her -- taking the train down to Tijuana and losing themselves for a couple days. Down there no one would notice, much less care, if she went a little off the deep end for a few hours. As long as they paid for any damages, they could do just about anything they wanted and, who knows, maybe getting out of town, out of the country, would help. Here, they were entwined in the problem, evidence of their unique lives following them, literally. The four agents tried to be discrete, but the dark-toned cars, suits, and glasses kind of gave it away. At least they weren't hovering right on top of them, were giving them a reasonable amount of space so that they could pretend that they were alone. Just two normal people attempting to enjoy a few hours together.
He walked over to her and sat down so that she could lean back against him if she wanted. He contained a sigh of pleasure when she did exactly that. One of his arms curled about her to rest lightly on her stomach. Lowering his head slightly so that she could easily hear him, he whispered. "How are we doing?"
She laughed dryly. "We? Last time I checked, you were doing just fine, whereas I'm looking forward to going into a full-blown bout of the screaming meemees within a few hours. Joy of joys."
"Alyx, would you rather be locked in the padded room? 'Cause that would be coming next." She shuddered in reaction to that thought. He held out his right arm, turned so that she could see the tattoo. "Claire wanted to stick one of these in your arm. So that she could judge better when to sedate you. Is that what you'd prefer?" His tone was harsher than he intended, but it had the effect he wanted. Jerking away from him and hopping off the wall, she spun about to stare at him.
"I didn't want any of this. I just wanted them to stay away from you. To make sure they couldn't use you against me or the Agency ever again." She stood there, fighting conflicting impulses. He could see it, could almost feel it, the need to run away from him, the need to not be anywhere near him. And yet the wanting, wanting to hold him, wanting to help him any way she could. He'd been in the same position himself not all that long ago, but, thanks to her, he'd gotten through it.
"Alyx, let me help. Please." He knew he'd messed this up, messed them up, and he desperately wanted to fix it somehow. He'd been alone for too long and he wanted no part of going back to that condition. That was part of the reason he was still here. Why would he want to spend the rest of his life alone when he could spend it with her? "Calm down, there's nothing here to hurt you."
"Except you," she snapped. Darien watched as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "Ah, hell, Darien I..."
"Dare," he said quietly.
"Huh?" She blinked at him in confusion.
"Dare. You haven't called me Dare in ages." He met her eyes for a second before turning away to stare at his feet sitting on the pale sand. A few seconds went by that seemed to be an eternity, and then her sneakers appeared in his line of sight.
"I figured you didn't want me to." Alyx was shivering, he noticed as he lifted his head. "In fact, you seemed to want very little to do with me." She reached out and captured one of his hands. Turning it palm up, she placed something in it. Then she took a small step back and waited.
He'd known what it was even before he looked down at his palm. Closing his fingers about it so he wouldn't drop it in the sand, he asked, "Why?"
"Why?" She shivered harder -- she was quickly moving into the next part of her cycle of fun new experiences, and he wanted to keep her talking, keep her distracted from what he knew would inevitably come next. "You think I didn't notice the way you were acting? I kept hoping you really meant to give it back to me, but it's obvious now that you want me to stay away outside of work." There was no anger in her voice, just a sense of resignation. "Fine. I'll live with it. Can we leave now? I really don't want to lose it here."
"Alyx, you are not going to lose it." Getting to his feet he gently pulled her closer until he was sitting again and she was within easy reach. "Do you want me to take this ring back?"
She shook her head and stuttered, "N... n... no."
"Then why do this? You think I gave it back out of pity or something?" He tried to pull her closer still, but she resisted.
"Guilt," she mumbled.
"Guilt." He shook his head. "Silly, if there was guilt it was because I hurt you, for which I am very sorry." This time she let him pull her near, one of his hands wandering up to her face and caressing it lightly. Her eyes were doing that odd dilation thing where one pupil was noticeably larger than the other. Now was the time to get her involved with other things, to keep her mind off the fact she was locked out from half her senses. He kissed her, a long, slow, teasing kiss that left her shaking even harder and looking at him almost in shock.
"Don't do that unless you're serious." He could just make out the words.
He did what he should have done days before. Showing her the ring for a moment he then slid it back on and then entwined their fingers. "Partners, right? In all things."
"Yes, Dare." She didn't seem quite as relieved as he would have hoped, but maybe that was because of what she was going through. It was time to move her away from the crush of people and to a quieter corner of the beach.
Turning, he stood up on the far side of the wall. "Come on." With his unneeded help, she climbed over the wall as well and allowed herself to be to drawn into a slow walk past the shops and eateries that lined the boardwalk. "How about something to eat?" Claire had asked him to try to get her to eat something. She'd apparently been avoiding food because her sense of taste was so strong that everything was off even worse than before.
She made a face, the thought of food not exciting her at the moment. "No thanks." She stopped and refused to move. "Just take me home."
Darien turned to face her, gazed down onto those eyes where currently panic could be seen, panic and a hint of something else. "So you can memorize the SWRB's counteragent? I don't think so."
"Bastard." She snarled and tried to pull away, but he held onto her hand. Not tightly, just a light grip, one she could have easily broken, yet she didn't. "You have no idea what you're going to make me go through."
"Doesn't matter. Alyx, I screwed up. I let my past influence me and pushed you away." She looked at him blankly, the fear and panic gone for the moment. This wasn't going to be easy; they didn't often talk about their relationship -- usually didn't need to with the way her abilities worked. It just was, and they usually just accepted it as it was, but somewhere along the way he'd forgotten that. Forgotten to trust in her, to trust in himself. And now she was unable to 'know' what he was feeling, so he would have to find his voice and tell her. "Alyx, I need you, your strength, to get through this."
"My strength," she snorted.
"Yes, your strength. Claire and I have been talking. She told me you're the reason I'm standing here now. That you removed the bullet. That you talked her into sending me home. That you've been working non-stop to find out who shot me and why even with your hands tied by the 'Fish." He gave her a wry grin. "You have to be the most stubborn person I know. Why do you want to give in now?"
She tipped her head down and began to shake again. "What choice do I have? I'm no good to any of you like this. At least if I control the drugs I won't feel as trapped."
"It won't work and you know it. I, of all people, should know this. Do you remember your little problem with the N. E.?" He ran his thumb gently along the side of the hand he held and felt her twitch in response to his words. "Or your fight to come back from the Phase III programming? Don't throw all you've survived away over a silly phobia." Her head snapped up and she glared at him. "You don't have to do this alone."
"It's all or nothing here, Dare. You get no more chances. You walk away again and it's over. Understand?" She just stood there watching him with those glorious eyes of hers and he wondered why he'd ever considered leaving her. "Even I can take only so much pain."
"Well, we could get married and settle the issue once and for all." When all she did was raise an eyebrow, he sighed. "Together. We'll do this together." She didn't wait for him to pull her close, simply closed the distance between them and buried her face in his chest. She shook as all her pent-up emotion rushed out. "Shhh. It's all right." He ran his hands up and down her back while her fingers grasped the back of his shirt in near desperation. Even without her leaking her emotions to him, he knew what she was feeling. A sweet yet painful relief to know that things were going to be okay. Not the same as before, never the same as before, but okay. He knew, because he felt exactly the same.
Then his stomach vocalized its need for sustenance. She released him and took a half step back, staring at his midsection and chuckling. "Impressive. Let me guess, you're hungry?"
"Umm, yeah. I'm always hungry. You should know that by now." He began chagrined, but part way through, some other needs -- other hungers -- seeped into his voice, his tone, his stance, and she noticed.
"Oh, really?" she asked him, sounding amused.
Releasing her hand, he cupped her face, running his thumbs across her cheekbones and lips, watching the panic retreat and desire -- that patient, quiet look of need that was always lying in wait and biding its time -- appear in her eyes. It had been too long since he'd seen it there, without the haze of quicksilver madness fogging his sight. Too long since he'd felt he could touch her without wondering if she'd still want him tomorrow, too long since he'd started worrying about where he stood with her. He knew, believed now, that she stood here with him because she wanted to. At this moment, this point in time, that was all that mattered and all that was necessary to make everything right with his universe.
Leaning in, he kissed her softly, his lips just brushing hers and drawing a soft moan from deep within her. Oh yes, this is just what he needed right now and it certainly seemed that she felt the same. Pulling away, he answered her question. "Really."
"Mmmm. Then perhaps we should feed that one hunger so that we can later deal with the other." She grinned at him. "Before more of you starts disappearing."
"Before more...." He looked down at himself and realized he'd lost part of one arm as well as portions of his torso. "Oh, crap." That earned him a round of real giggles from her as she shifted to help hide his current condition until he regained control.
"Ah Dare, I missed you."
Moving to stand beside her he tossed a causal arm over her shoulder. "Same here." He meant the words exactly as he had said them; that he had missed her, as well as himself.
Together they wandered down the boardwalk, in search of something to eat for him and some more distraction for her. The longer she held it together, the better off she was. He knew she would break down eventually, when the panic and the loss became the focus, but she would no longer have to go through it alone.
It was mid-afternoon when they arrived at her apartment, and Alyx was doing less than well. She been near-hysterical by the time they'd left the beach, though she had done her best to hide it. The only thing that had held her together during the drive was the knowledge that, if she did try and run, it would involve hurling herself out of a moving car and into traffic. Not much of an improvement of the situation. He'd had to coax her step-by-step out of the car, into the elevator, and then into her apartment. Once there, she lasted all of five seconds.
Darien had no idea what finally set her off. He got her into the apartment, turned around to shut and lock the door, and when he turned back around she was gone. It took him five agonizing minutes before he found her huddled in the corner between the head of her bed, the wall, and the windows. The only harder spot to get into was the back of her closet, where she'd somehow managed to shove a fair-sized bureau. Not that the bed was right up against the wall -- there was a good five feet between them. It was just awkward. She'd had plants and books lining the windowsill that were now lying on the floor, dirt spilled and pages torn in her hysteria.
For several minutes he just stood there watching her, leaving her be as Claire had suggested. Letting some of the panic find release, before trying to convince her to calm down, that things were fine, that she could deal with this. That she could live with this if necessary. She alternated between huddled upon herself, hands over her ears and eyes tightly shut -- a sure sign she'd lost conscious control of those senses. To staring wide-eyed and unseeing about the room, her breath hitching in her chest, and nearly making herself pass out as she tried to catch her breath and began to hyperventilate instead.
Sitting beside her, he pulled her gently into an embrace, expecting her fight him. Instead, she practically flung herself at him and curled up against him. "It's all right. You're safe."
It took an hour of quiet, calm words and gentle caresses before she came back from that place her mind fled to when she went into a panic attack. His last real experience with her having panic attacks was very early in their association. He couldn't call it a relationship, they hadn't had a relationship back then, though he'd tried. It had involved a harrowing trek through a forest fire she'd been trapped in. He knew that the cause for those panic attacks was different than what had created the current problem and she had, with the help of Maxwell Garrett, faced that fear and gotten past it. He only hoped he could do the same for her now.
The thought of Garrett didn't bother him as it once had -- in fact he owed the man a debt. He had been the first person Alyx had learned to trust completely after joining their little family. The reasons she'd hadn't trusted any of them were as complex as the reasons she'd found herself able to trust Garrett, but in the end she had learned to trust them too. After learning about and dealing with Garrett's death, she'd finally been able to allow herself to face her feelings for Darien. To realize that she didn't have to be afraid anymore, that for the first time in a very long time, she was in control of her own life, heart, and mind.
She uncurled then and lifted her head to look at him. She had a completely stunned expression on her face, like she couldn't believe she'd made it through to the other side. "Dar..." She cleared her throat. "Darien?"
"That's me." He smiled at her. She was still pale and her face was tear-streaked, but she seemed better. "How are you feeling?"
"Wiped," she answered, sliding away from him and standing. "And in need of a shower. Will... will you stay?"
"Sure." He glanced at his watch and pushed himself to his feet. Kissing her on the forehead he said, "You get cleaned up, take your time. I'll see if you have any food in this place." When she didn't seem to be able to move, he set a hand on her back and encouraged her into motion. She made her way around the side of the bed and then froze again. He was about to say something when she bolted for the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. He resisted the temptation to go after her. He wanted to help, but hovering, doing every little thing for her, would do nothing to help her get through this.
When he heard the sound of the shower running, he swung open the door and peeked in. She was standing under the water with her head hanging down, her back to him, hands pressed up against the tile wall. She didn't even notice his quiet observation of her. Leaving the door open, in case she called for help, he headed for the fridge in search of something to drink. He kinda wished the Keep hadn't banned alcohol; he could use a drink right about now, and it was a good bet Alyx could as well. He pulled out a couple cans of soda, opening one and drinking about half the contents in one long swallow. Even after dealing with her in withdrawal, helping her recover from the Phase III, and many times just helping when she had far more normal injuries, he hadn't been prepared for the current situation.
He'd thought he had it bad just two short weeks ago, when he thought he had nothing to live for. He'd been through so much in the last few years, losing hope over and over, only to find it again, not once but several times. To have allowed something as simple a bullet take away what confidence he'd gained in himself now seemed foolish.
He looked at his left wrist. The seemingly small cut had healed quickly, almost in retaliation for what he tried to do. He knew he had been standing near the edge of that abyss for a very long time; he had just refused to see it. Had just stumbled from day to day, waiting for the next shoe to drop -- for that last piece of bad news that would push him over without him having to do anything himself.
Now, however.... He still stood near that edge, but now, instead of contemplating the long fall, he could look out over the view and finally appreciate it.
His cell phone went off and he pulled it from his pocket. "Yeah," he said, his mind still on other things. "Hobbes, hold on a sec." He stuck his head back in the bathroom, saw Alyx slowly washing her hair, and ducked back out. Going to her door he opened it and stepped into the hallway, leaving the door open just a bit. "Go ahead, Hobbesy. What's up?"
He listened as Bobby explained the current situation, pacing back and forth in the hall with his hand running through his hair. "Okay, if she's awake we'll be there." He paused, listening. "Bobby, if she's still sleeping, there is no way in hell I'm going to wake her." He stopped again as Bobby interrupted, this time he smiled at the concern that was pouring from the gruff and hardened agent at the other end. "I don't know, Bobby. She got through one panic attack already, but I have no idea if she'll have another one. Ask Claire."
Bobby started up again. Darien leaned against the wall next to the door and listened as Bobby went into one of his convoluted tales that supposedly included advice on how to help Alyx with her panic attacks, but Darien didn't understand half of it. "Uh, thanks Hobbes. I'll remember that." He shook his head in dismay at his inability to get Bobby off this track he had firmly planted his feet on. It was someone on the other end that finally got him to stop. "Yeah. Yes. I'll call you later." Darien hung up even as he heard Bobby say something else.
Sometimes Bobby just handed out way too much information. What could a dancing girl from Saudi Arabia possibly have to do with Alyx having panic attacks? And why should he play show tunes? Maybe he'd ask Bobby about it later. On second thought, it was probably better if he didn't ask. Bobby might try to tell the entire story again, and Darien wasn't too sure he wanted to hear it.
He entered the apartment, shutting and locking the door, and tossed his phone on the counter. He could hear that the shower had stopped and went hunting for Alyx. He hoped she was all right; she hadn't called for him or anything, but that didn't stop him from worrying. She wasn't hiding, she was curled up on her side on her bed. Looking relaxed and comfortable in the dark violet -- he had this thing for purple -- silk robe he'd bought her a couple months ago. She'd been the one to turn him on to the pleasures of wearing quality silk, and he had returned the favor by buying her a few items he thought she would like and that he thought she'd look wonderful in.
Kicking off his shoes, he lay down on the bed and set a hand on her hip. "You in there?"
"Hmmm, yeah. Kinda," she mumbled, sounding only partially awake. "My brain hurts."
He snuggled closer, his chin resting on her shoulder. "How are you? Really." She tensed up, which he hadn't intended for her to do.
"Well, everything hurts and I'm trying to keep from flaking out on you again, but other than that I'm find and dandy." There was so much sarcasm in her voice that he almost didn't catch the undertone of fear.
"Hey, no need for that. I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on." He slowly slid his hand lower, along her thigh, knowing that if he went the other way, up along her side, she'd break out in hysterical giggles. So he kept his slow, steady movement in areas he knew were safe.
"Ah damn, Dare, don't do that." She reached up and stopped his hand with hers.
"Hurts again?" Though it had gotten better, sometimes the increased sensitivity still caused pain at the slightest touch. She had stopped collecting new bruises from slight contact, but she still carried those she had earned the first couple of days. Fighting the restraints, along with multiple injections and blood samples, had left her with an interesting collection. Not to mention the ones he'd caused himself when they'd gotten amorous in the Keep. That made him sigh to himself; she didn't know about that. The entire incident was wiped from her memory. As far as she was concerned, she'd slept through the entire thing.
"Not exactly," she answered in a tiny voice, almost as if she were embarrassed.
"Not exactly? What does that mean?" Her damp hair smelled of berries this time. Turning his head he breathed in the scent of it and gave into the temptation to nuzzle her behind the ear. His hand took up its motion again, hers still lying atop it, only more teasing this time, sliding the silk of the robe across her skin. When she moaned, he understood what she meant by 'not exactly.'
"Darien, stop. Please." Though her voice was steady, he could feel the way her heart had sped up. His lips found the pulse point in her throat and just rested there, feeling the blood pound, her breathing become shallow as she tried and failed to control what she was feeling.
"Why, Alyx? Even I can tell you want this as much as I do." Her increased sensitivity had gone from pain to pleasure, or perhaps a bit of both. She shivered as he moved his hand across her stomach and played with the tie holding the robe shut. "Are you worried that because I won't be able to... to feel what you are, that I won't like it?" She stiffened at that, and he knew he'd nailed it. Shifting, he encouraged her to roll onto her back so that he could look at her. "Alyx, although I have to admit that side effect makes being with you a very enjoyable and unique experience, it has nothing to do with how I feel."
"Darien, it won't be the same." Almost reluctantly, one of her hands came up to run along his jaw line. "I don't want to disappoint you."
He closed his eyes and hung his head, shaking with restrained laughter. "Disappoint me? You are nuts." This time he did untie the robe with a gentle tug, but simply ran his hand across the material making her shiver. "I was an idiot to turn you away that night. I realized later that it was me you wanted and it had nothing to do with whether or not I could walk. If your little extras never work again, if you actually get the chance to be a normal person and live a normal life, it won't change how I feel."
He lifted his head to look at her, to try and figure out what she was thinking, what it was she really wanted, but he couldn't be sure. She was right, it wasn't the same, but not in a bad way. In fact, he found the change nice. Instead of instantly knowing what the other wanted, they would have to guess, or ask, or discover through trial and error just like everyone else. For one night, they would have a chance to be like everyone else. Okay, maybe not quite like everyone else, since his lightest touch was enough to make her melt. He fiercely enforced his control, lest the gland were to suddenly decide it wanted to participate in the proceedings.
"Alyx, if you really want me to stop, I will. I don't want to hurt you." He waited for her to decide, without moving anything. It was the hand that still lay against his face that answered the question. Her fingers slid back through his hair to find the scar and ran lightly across it, making him shudder. The damn thing was sensitive as hell, at least when it was her touching it, and drove him to complete distraction. With a groan he sought and found her lips with his own.
Alyx didn't hold back and fell under his spell instantly. They broke apart just long enough for him to divest himself of his T-shirt, before returning to tasting her lips and tongue. When he finally slid the robe apart, to trail his fingers across skin that was nearly as silky as the material of the robe, making her arch and moan into his mouth, he sighed in pleasure.
Moments later, Alyx began to laugh softly.
"What?" Darien asked against her throat.
"New experience, for me." She was breathless, impatient as she tugged on his slacks.
Lifting himself slightly he realized there was no color to his sight and that her outline was glowing with the wrong color. "Crap," he muttered and she just laughed harder.
"Darien, if you let this stop you, I'm going to be quite upset and force you to continue anyway." She squirmed down a bit and kissed him on his collarbone, digging her teeth in gently. "Besides, I have counteragent, if you need it. Though, based on past experiences, we'd have just as much fun without it."
That ended any resistance he might have put up. Grabbing her arms, he held them above her head and did his damnedest to make moan aloud. For some reason he wanted, needed to hear her tonight.
A short time later, Darien was looking down at her again, the quicksilver no longer a barrier between them. "Alyx, I..." His throat closed and he found he couldn't finish the sentence.
"I know, Dare." Her lips brushed against his. "I know."
The room was dark when Darien jerked back into wakefulness. The apartment was dim, the only light that which filtered in from outside. From streetlights, headlights, and stars. He realized that he must have dozed off after their lovemaking. Damn, if it hadn't been sweet. It had certainly been a distraction for her. He'd noticed when the panic had snuck back in, her entire body torn between two impulses. Somehow, the one that left her moaning and breathless beneath him won out; she never actually crossed over into a full blown attack, even after their breathing and heart rates had slowed. She'd been shaking with the lingering effects of the drug and exhausted from their play, but had refused to succumb to the panic. It may have helped that he was lying sprawled across her and she had nowhere to go without first dumping his ass on the floor.
He'd held her gently until the shaking had eased and she had drifted off into an uneasy slumber. He must have dozed off himself while watching her sleep, for he'd intended to get up and make something for them to eat before she went into the next part of her cycle where he body was flooded with melatonin and she was forced into sleep. They were no longer lying in the same position, with his head pillowed comfortably on her chest. At some point he must have rolled off of her to lie on his back and she... well she had curled up next to him, her face up against his ribs, one hand lying over his heart and one leg flung over both of his.
Running his hand through her hair, he tried to wake her. "Alyx, sweets, you need to wake up for a bit."
She didn't even move; for an instant, he was afraid the worst had happened and his heart leapt to his throat. Forcing himself to use a little common sense, he realized that not only was she quite warm, but that he could feel her breath along his side, almost tickling him. He let out the breath he'd been holding and began to shift from beneath her. Reaching up, he turned on the small light on the headboard to get a better look at her. Lifting one eyelid, like he'd seen the Keep do, he noted the blue sheen to her eye. That meant the chances of him waking her were slim to none at the moment. Kissing her on the top of her head, he pulled up the blanket draped across the foot of the bed and covered her. Then he got up, grabbed his slacks, and padded across the room to the kitchen.
Noting that is was not quite ten as he dressed, he opened the fridge and searched for food. It looked like Alyx had been on a cooking spree this week. Her freezer was stacked with neatly packaged leftovers that included reheating instructions written on the exterior. She had this tendency to over-cook when upset, but it had turned into a benefit since their schedules were sometimes -- all right, often -- unusual. There had been several occasions that they'd wandered in at some odd hour, starved, and simply tossed some of her homemade TV dinners in the microwave to eat. When she got really carried away, she'd give extras that didn't fit into her freezer to the rest of them.
Making his choices, he leaned against the counter and checked his wrist. The snake coiled there glared back up at him, equal parts red and green. He was going to need a shot before doing the job in a few hours, but was more than fine for the time being. Claire had put him back on the inhibitor -- a new one, actually, that had a more consistent release. No more of this sudden filling of his tattoo as it wore off. She was hoping that, if it worked well enough, they might be able to increase the time between non-quicksilver-use shots by at least another week. Their target length of time was a month at this point.
He was still hoping they could increase his see-through time, but those experiments weren't going as well. It was funny -- at one time, he couldn't have imagined himself wanting anything more than to get the gland out as soon as possible. Now he was just hoping to get fewer shots and more time invisible. When the hell had that happened?
Alyx began to mutter in her sleep, so he checked on her. Claire had said this would most likely occur, but it was an improvement over the acted-out hallucinations. Sitting beside her, he tried to reassure her that everything was all right. After a few minutes, she sighed and seemed to move back into a deeper sleep. While he was sitting there, he set the alarm for three AM. At the very least, he had to be there for the meeting at four. It was a good bet they'd make this attempt whether or not Alyx was conscious, and he was not about to force her to be there if she wasn't ready for it. Maybe that's why he hadn't told her about the plan. No need to dump more worries on her that were unneeded and unwarranted. He was perfectly capable of worrying more than enough for both of them.
The timer beeped in the kitchen to remind him that he was in the midst of preparing a meal. With a last gentle caress, he left Alyx to her slumber and whatever images were parading through her mind tonight. He could only hope they were more pleasant than they had been in the past.