Chapter 10
I strode swiftly but silently across the hall toward the balcony on which Cynric was sitting, reading a thick book in the warm sunlight and caressing breeze. It hurt my eyes to look at the bright white stone that reflected the sun's rays. Cyn was facing out towards the beautiful landscapes beneath the balcony, unaware of my presence. He was absorbed in his book, his eyes scanning quickly over the text. He had his elbow resting on the rail of the balcony, and his head was cradled in his hand. His seated body leaned forward, and his foot tapped the ground. Outside the breeze gently weaved through the trees, making the lush green leaves rustle. The roses that grew from the walls of the castle were in bloom, and their sweet fragrance softly trailed through the air. Wasn't it terrible that I was about to ruin such tranquility?
Clutched in my hand was a rough brown muslin pouch, containing some grapes. In my right hand I gripped a wooden spoon. It would be worth it just to see Cyn pop up out of his chair when I catapulted the food at him.
I crouched down silently and took a grape from the pouch. Balancing the grape in the spoon, I cautiously took aim and pulled it back.
"Good afternoon," Cyn said casually, not moving. I jumped and dropped my weapon.
"You spoiled my fun," I replied with mock anger.
"It's nice to see you too." Cyn closed the book, set it down, rose from his chair, and blasted me with one of his dazzling smiles.
"You know you're going to have to stop with the pranks, don't you? If Annabelle ever saw you do that she'd have your head."
"And you wouldn't say anything in my defense?"
"Probably not."
"Just goes to show how wonderful my friends are. . ."
Cyn smirked, and then his face dimmed. Gloom filled his eyes. "This is probably one of the last times you and I will ever have together, in private like this." He paused and looked out at the sunny garden. It was silent, and I felt an unpleasant chill tickle my spine. Sadness seemed to suddenly drape across us, despite the beautiful, pleasant day. It was cold and lonely, and not in the least bit a pleasant feeling. "I'm going to miss it," he said. I didn't feel like being sad at the moment. Lately I'd had too many of those depressing moments.
"So have you decided whether the two of you will stay here, or go back to your castle?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful and hoping he'd let me change the subject.
"Both of us want to live at my castle, but we might still come back here in the summer. This place would accommodate us much better during the warm seasons than my castle."
"It is a nice place, isn't it?"
"Yes. I just hope that some of the servants will be willing to stay here and maintain it."
"I've already decided that I'm going to be one of them." Cyn, who had been leaning against the rail of the balcony, turned to me and gave me a look of confusion.
"You promised me that you'd come back to my castle."
"I did, and so I will. I'll go back with you, and then once you and your bride are settled in, I'm returning to this castle." Cyn opened his mouth to protest, but stopped himself when he saw the grave, determined look I gave him. He sighed loudly, and pouted.
"I don't see why you'd want to stay here," he said sulkily.
"This is my home, and I'm going to stay and make sure nobody changes it."
"The only people with authority to do so are my fiancé and myself."
"Exactly," I said. "Annabelle will want to change this place, you'll let her, and then once she's through I'll be without a home. I'd like to stay here and try to prevent that from happening."
"Wait. Did you just say that you'd be homeless once she's through? First of all, what makes you think she'd do a thing like that to you? Secondly, I told her that I would be keeping you as a servant at my castle, so she CAN'T kick you out."
I shook my head with a smile at him, pityingly. Cyn was staring at me, waiting for me to explain myself to him. "You've known for a long time that Annabelle and I don't get along. Either way, if I stay here or if I go to your castle, I'll end up homeless. Annabelle doesn't like me at all, and she'll do everything she can to ruin me. If I go back to your castle she'll put up with me for a while, but afterwards she'll get tired of me. She'll accuse me of false sins, and once she's gotten me into sufficient trouble, she'll have me kicked out of the castle. If I stay here then she'll still try to have me kicked out, but at least I'll be at home for a while longer."
Cyn understood, and didn't try to say anything. The argument I'd just presented to him was true, but not the real reason I wanted to stay at my castle. I'd wanted the exact opposite-to stay with him at his home so I could watch over him, but I knew that wouldn't work. Being employed by a man whom you were in love with, especially if he was already married, didn't seem like a good idea to me. I had no idea what I'd end up doing after Annabelle and Cyn left, but I'd rather be away from Cyn to protect him than be by him and end up ruining his marriage. Besides, jealousy didn't exactly bring out the best in me, and having to see the two of them together for five minutes was difficult enough for me. Having to see them together for years on end would probably kill me. In the past three years I'd developed control over my temper and jealousy, but I strongly doubted I'd be able to contain my emotions around Cyn after the wedding.
As I felt myself sinking into sadness, I remembered my promise to Mirra to try and be optimistic. I cleared my mind of negative ideas, and spoke to Cyn.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" I asked him with a smile.
"Yes," he replied. "What for?"
"To pick wildflowers." Cyn laughed, rolled his eyes at me, and offered his hand to me. I led him out into a patch of wilderness not far from the stable.
"We've changed so much," I said to him as we walked towards a clearing. "I remember how loud I used to be, and how spoiled you were."
"I've changed too, right?" He asked. When I told him yes, he continued. "I think that of the two of us you've changed more. Lately you've been acting like an entirely different girl than the Summer I knew three years ago." I sighed sadly.
"I know. I've turned into an old woman. I hate it. Lately I've spent so much time focusing on all the bad in my life I haven't had time to be the person I used to be. Well, I'm trying to be my old self."
"I wonder what made you change so much."
"Three years spent in 'civilized' company." Cyn looked over at me with a glowing smile, and we both laughed.
"Of course," he replied. "Three years spent with them would make ANYONE a bore."
"So how much of a bore have I been lately?"
"Don't get me started."
"Oh shush. You've acted a lot differently too."
"How so?"
"You don't want to know. . . If I told you just how detestable you've been you'd cry."
"Oh, so now you're insulting my manliness?"
We sat down on the moist, spongy grass in the clearing. Cyn plucked a handful of bright daisies from the ground and began weaving them together into a small garland. I pulled a large dandelion out of the grass and tugged the petals off of it. When Cyn was done, he placed his pretty flower crown on his head and lie down on his back, resting his hands behind his head and staring at the sky. I looked down at him from where I sat, and then blew the plucked petals in my hand at his face.
"We're acting like children again," I said. "We really shouldn't. You're 20 and I'm 17. You'd think that by now we'd have a little bit of maturity."
"What are you talking about?" he said, with a jovial air. "You make it sound like we're old. We're young, Summer! I'm allowed to be childish." I beamed down at him and had to laugh at how comical he looked.
I set down the bud I'd just shredded and lie down perpendicular to Cyn, using his firm torso as a pillow. He took a handful of my wavy auburn hair and toyed with it. I closed my eyes contentedly and allowed myself to be lulled by the gentle rise and fall of his chest and stomach.
"Summer?" Cyn abruptly said, his voice suddenly jerking me awake. "Do you really think that we'll remain friends after the wedding? I mean, I know that we'll see each other in the summer, and you'll probably visit from time to time, but things will be so different. Who's to say that things won't change drastically between us?"
"I really hope we will." My stomach tightened. The gentle breeze blew across us, and I felt some of my hair brush against Cyn's face. Cyn moved it away gently with his fingers. I sensed a jolt in his body, and imagined he'd suddenly gotten the same lump in his throat I had.
"Things will be so different from now on. . . No more late-night conversations." He stopped playing with my hair.
"I still remember the first time we talked," I said. "I remember how you snored loudly just to annoy me." He laughed, but sadly. The two of us lie there silently, both of us lost in our separate thoughts.
I recalled that the wedding would be in two days. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, and was abruptly uncomfortable having my head resting on the chest of a man whom I no longer had a chance at. Regret and guilt dominated my thoughts. I could have been in Annabelle's spot if I'd only told Cyn how I'd felt. If I hadn't been such a coward I could have been engaged to the man of my dreams. I fought back the tears that filled my eyes, as well as the urge to tell Cyn just how much I loved him.
Cynric sat up without warning, forcing me to raise my head. I quickly swept my eyes clear, only to see that Cyn's expression was just as devastated as mine. He hugged me to him and breathed into my hair.
"I'm going to miss you," he whispered to me.
I strode swiftly but silently across the hall toward the balcony on which Cynric was sitting, reading a thick book in the warm sunlight and caressing breeze. It hurt my eyes to look at the bright white stone that reflected the sun's rays. Cyn was facing out towards the beautiful landscapes beneath the balcony, unaware of my presence. He was absorbed in his book, his eyes scanning quickly over the text. He had his elbow resting on the rail of the balcony, and his head was cradled in his hand. His seated body leaned forward, and his foot tapped the ground. Outside the breeze gently weaved through the trees, making the lush green leaves rustle. The roses that grew from the walls of the castle were in bloom, and their sweet fragrance softly trailed through the air. Wasn't it terrible that I was about to ruin such tranquility?
Clutched in my hand was a rough brown muslin pouch, containing some grapes. In my right hand I gripped a wooden spoon. It would be worth it just to see Cyn pop up out of his chair when I catapulted the food at him.
I crouched down silently and took a grape from the pouch. Balancing the grape in the spoon, I cautiously took aim and pulled it back.
"Good afternoon," Cyn said casually, not moving. I jumped and dropped my weapon.
"You spoiled my fun," I replied with mock anger.
"It's nice to see you too." Cyn closed the book, set it down, rose from his chair, and blasted me with one of his dazzling smiles.
"You know you're going to have to stop with the pranks, don't you? If Annabelle ever saw you do that she'd have your head."
"And you wouldn't say anything in my defense?"
"Probably not."
"Just goes to show how wonderful my friends are. . ."
Cyn smirked, and then his face dimmed. Gloom filled his eyes. "This is probably one of the last times you and I will ever have together, in private like this." He paused and looked out at the sunny garden. It was silent, and I felt an unpleasant chill tickle my spine. Sadness seemed to suddenly drape across us, despite the beautiful, pleasant day. It was cold and lonely, and not in the least bit a pleasant feeling. "I'm going to miss it," he said. I didn't feel like being sad at the moment. Lately I'd had too many of those depressing moments.
"So have you decided whether the two of you will stay here, or go back to your castle?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful and hoping he'd let me change the subject.
"Both of us want to live at my castle, but we might still come back here in the summer. This place would accommodate us much better during the warm seasons than my castle."
"It is a nice place, isn't it?"
"Yes. I just hope that some of the servants will be willing to stay here and maintain it."
"I've already decided that I'm going to be one of them." Cyn, who had been leaning against the rail of the balcony, turned to me and gave me a look of confusion.
"You promised me that you'd come back to my castle."
"I did, and so I will. I'll go back with you, and then once you and your bride are settled in, I'm returning to this castle." Cyn opened his mouth to protest, but stopped himself when he saw the grave, determined look I gave him. He sighed loudly, and pouted.
"I don't see why you'd want to stay here," he said sulkily.
"This is my home, and I'm going to stay and make sure nobody changes it."
"The only people with authority to do so are my fiancé and myself."
"Exactly," I said. "Annabelle will want to change this place, you'll let her, and then once she's through I'll be without a home. I'd like to stay here and try to prevent that from happening."
"Wait. Did you just say that you'd be homeless once she's through? First of all, what makes you think she'd do a thing like that to you? Secondly, I told her that I would be keeping you as a servant at my castle, so she CAN'T kick you out."
I shook my head with a smile at him, pityingly. Cyn was staring at me, waiting for me to explain myself to him. "You've known for a long time that Annabelle and I don't get along. Either way, if I stay here or if I go to your castle, I'll end up homeless. Annabelle doesn't like me at all, and she'll do everything she can to ruin me. If I go back to your castle she'll put up with me for a while, but afterwards she'll get tired of me. She'll accuse me of false sins, and once she's gotten me into sufficient trouble, she'll have me kicked out of the castle. If I stay here then she'll still try to have me kicked out, but at least I'll be at home for a while longer."
Cyn understood, and didn't try to say anything. The argument I'd just presented to him was true, but not the real reason I wanted to stay at my castle. I'd wanted the exact opposite-to stay with him at his home so I could watch over him, but I knew that wouldn't work. Being employed by a man whom you were in love with, especially if he was already married, didn't seem like a good idea to me. I had no idea what I'd end up doing after Annabelle and Cyn left, but I'd rather be away from Cyn to protect him than be by him and end up ruining his marriage. Besides, jealousy didn't exactly bring out the best in me, and having to see the two of them together for five minutes was difficult enough for me. Having to see them together for years on end would probably kill me. In the past three years I'd developed control over my temper and jealousy, but I strongly doubted I'd be able to contain my emotions around Cyn after the wedding.
As I felt myself sinking into sadness, I remembered my promise to Mirra to try and be optimistic. I cleared my mind of negative ideas, and spoke to Cyn.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" I asked him with a smile.
"Yes," he replied. "What for?"
"To pick wildflowers." Cyn laughed, rolled his eyes at me, and offered his hand to me. I led him out into a patch of wilderness not far from the stable.
"We've changed so much," I said to him as we walked towards a clearing. "I remember how loud I used to be, and how spoiled you were."
"I've changed too, right?" He asked. When I told him yes, he continued. "I think that of the two of us you've changed more. Lately you've been acting like an entirely different girl than the Summer I knew three years ago." I sighed sadly.
"I know. I've turned into an old woman. I hate it. Lately I've spent so much time focusing on all the bad in my life I haven't had time to be the person I used to be. Well, I'm trying to be my old self."
"I wonder what made you change so much."
"Three years spent in 'civilized' company." Cyn looked over at me with a glowing smile, and we both laughed.
"Of course," he replied. "Three years spent with them would make ANYONE a bore."
"So how much of a bore have I been lately?"
"Don't get me started."
"Oh shush. You've acted a lot differently too."
"How so?"
"You don't want to know. . . If I told you just how detestable you've been you'd cry."
"Oh, so now you're insulting my manliness?"
We sat down on the moist, spongy grass in the clearing. Cyn plucked a handful of bright daisies from the ground and began weaving them together into a small garland. I pulled a large dandelion out of the grass and tugged the petals off of it. When Cyn was done, he placed his pretty flower crown on his head and lie down on his back, resting his hands behind his head and staring at the sky. I looked down at him from where I sat, and then blew the plucked petals in my hand at his face.
"We're acting like children again," I said. "We really shouldn't. You're 20 and I'm 17. You'd think that by now we'd have a little bit of maturity."
"What are you talking about?" he said, with a jovial air. "You make it sound like we're old. We're young, Summer! I'm allowed to be childish." I beamed down at him and had to laugh at how comical he looked.
I set down the bud I'd just shredded and lie down perpendicular to Cyn, using his firm torso as a pillow. He took a handful of my wavy auburn hair and toyed with it. I closed my eyes contentedly and allowed myself to be lulled by the gentle rise and fall of his chest and stomach.
"Summer?" Cyn abruptly said, his voice suddenly jerking me awake. "Do you really think that we'll remain friends after the wedding? I mean, I know that we'll see each other in the summer, and you'll probably visit from time to time, but things will be so different. Who's to say that things won't change drastically between us?"
"I really hope we will." My stomach tightened. The gentle breeze blew across us, and I felt some of my hair brush against Cyn's face. Cyn moved it away gently with his fingers. I sensed a jolt in his body, and imagined he'd suddenly gotten the same lump in his throat I had.
"Things will be so different from now on. . . No more late-night conversations." He stopped playing with my hair.
"I still remember the first time we talked," I said. "I remember how you snored loudly just to annoy me." He laughed, but sadly. The two of us lie there silently, both of us lost in our separate thoughts.
I recalled that the wedding would be in two days. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, and was abruptly uncomfortable having my head resting on the chest of a man whom I no longer had a chance at. Regret and guilt dominated my thoughts. I could have been in Annabelle's spot if I'd only told Cyn how I'd felt. If I hadn't been such a coward I could have been engaged to the man of my dreams. I fought back the tears that filled my eyes, as well as the urge to tell Cyn just how much I loved him.
Cynric sat up without warning, forcing me to raise my head. I quickly swept my eyes clear, only to see that Cyn's expression was just as devastated as mine. He hugged me to him and breathed into my hair.
"I'm going to miss you," he whispered to me.