"You're mine."
Those few words had filled her with more certainty than any others he had ever uttered before. Blushing furiously as she shoved the sliced potatoes into a pot of boiling water, Misao felt her face heat up with the memory of his embrace. Oh Kami-sama, she wailed internally, could I be any sillier? Stirring the contents of the pot absentmindedly, Misao delved into her thoughts deeply, only to have her jarred out of them suddenly by an object that clamped to her leg, "Misao nee-chan! Can you play with me?"
Bending down with a fond smile, Misao ruffled Kenji's hair affectionately before responding wistfully, "Iie, Ken-chan, gomen! Nee-chan has to make dinner for tonight."
"Why can't Otousan make it?"
"Otousan is busy with Tsuri-chan. I know, why don't you find Aoshi onii-san and ask him if would play with you?"
"Iie, he's too scary."
Misao couldn't help herself; she started laughing, peals of it filling the house with mirth. Kenji clapped his hands together, too innocent to comprehend what made his nee-chan laugh, but glad that he had made her happy. The thought of Kenji abusing his poor father, the legendary Battousai who had defeated so many accomplished swordsmen, but fearing tall and quiet Aoshi-sama, one of the men Kenji's father had defeated, was almost too much to bear. Misao leaned on the countertop, panting for a breath as she held a hand over her heart, trying to still her laughter. Kaoru poked her head into the kitchen, smiling curiously, "Really, Misao-chan, what's so funny? I haven't heard you laugh like that in ages!" Misao, still scarlet from the exertion, could only shake her head as she gasped. Kaoru looked at her son in mock anger, hiding her smile as she watched Kenji shuffle his feet and bow his head in shame, "Himura Kenji, what have you been doing to poor Misao nee-chan?"
"I only—"
"No excuses; it's time for your bath." Scooping up her son, Kaoru turned her head to give Misao a wholehearted grin before leaving, "I'm starving, Misao! I expect a full-blown banquet tonight!" Ignoring the sputtering excuses her friend gave, Kaoru marched out of the kitchen with a flailing Kenji tucked under one arm.
Misao sighed in defeat, tossing her braid over her shoulder as she focused her attention on the soup again. Even after childbirth, Kaoru had retained her monstrous appetite, claiming that she still had cravings that had to be fulfilled so she could be an able-bodied mother. Misao shook her head in dismay—how could Himura handle Kaoru all by himself when Kenji had been born? Himura was a man of wonders. Vaguely wondering if Aoshi would be as doting, Misao slapped her arm in consternation: Enough, she scolded herself, you shouldn't even wonder about mothering. But she couldn't help herself from planting a small seed of hope in her heart: But perhaps…
Kenshin relaxed on the grass, watching his baby daughter slumber peacefully on her blanket. He felt the sun play over his face, lingering as dusk approached, soaking in its warmth as he sat against a large sakura tree. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approach him. Turning to greet the person, he registered in mild surprise that it was Aoshi. Motioning for him to join him and Tsuri-chan on the grass, he watched with a smile as the tall man sat down by his side, his gaze intent on the sleeping baby by his side, "She resembles Kaoru, de gozaru yo."
"Aah." The two men sat in silence, taking in the sight of the falling flower petals and darkening sky. It was Aoshi, surprisingly who broke the silence, "Himura, I would like to thank you for your hospitality. It was kind of you to watch over Misao even when you were occupied with a new child and the reconstruction of your abode at the same time."
Kenshin smiled, "Misao is a dear friend of ours; her smiles and efforts mean a lot to us. It was barely enough to pay back for all the kindness, effort and time she spent with my family before Tsuri's birth." Watching Aoshi deliberate over his words, Kenshin couldn't help but add, "Misao has become quite a woman, Aoshi-dono. Perhaps…"
Aoshi smoothly interjected, "I already had Takani-sensei suggest a similar sort of affirmative action, and I conceded." Kenshin couldn't help but smile deeper at hearing this, but did not offer any more words. Their short discourse's ending was punctuated with the arrival of Yahiko, who had just returned from running errands. Seeing Aoshi, Kenshin, and Tsuri near the sakura tree; he stopped and said, "Konbanwa Kenshin, Aoshi-san." After both men acknowledged the younger one's greeting, Yahiko turned to Aoshi with a request, "Would you like to spar with me this evening?" Aoshi answered with a nod, and Yahiko grinned in anticipation, barely able to contain his boyish delight, "Yoshi! Um, ano… Arigatou." Kenshin hid a smile as he watched the corners of Aoshi's mouth twitch—no wonder: Yahiko could sound remarkably like Misao at times.
Misao plopped on her futon with a sigh. Kenshin had come indoors soon after sunset, bringing a sleeping Tsuri-chan to Kaoru and insisting that Misao take a rest so he could finish making dinner. Misao readily complied, lumbering to her room so she could take a short nap. With a large yawn, Misao slid under the heavy covers, her eyes fluttering shut as she drifted off into her dreams. The dojo was quiet except for the occasional shriek and splash of water coming from the bathing room, indicating that Kaoru was getting a bath as thorough as Kenji's. Megumi had already left the day before, and with Yahiko outside and Kaoru giving her son a bath, the house was gratifyingly quiet. A thought that had often passed through her mind presented itself yet again as she felt her body become sluggish with sleep: I wonder what Aoshi-sama is doing now…Burrowing deeper under her blankets, Misao fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
The sound of firm yet moderate knocking startled the young woman from her nap. Sitting upright, Misao asked sleepily, "What? Who's there?"
"Misao, it's dinner time."
Aoshi's deep, rumbling voice brought her to her feet instantly, as she shook her head vigorously to ward off the lingering spells of sleep, "Ha-hai, Aoshi-sama. I'll join you in a second. After throwing on a light surcoat and throwing a quick glance at the small mirror by her washbasin, she opened the door and halted momentarily, dizzy from her sleepiness and the image Aoshi made, leaning against the wall. His hair was wet and jagged and his complexion clear. His arms folded casually as his loose yukata and bare feet reminded her of her last meet with him before her departure back at the Aoiya. Tearing her gaze away from him as she blushed rosily, Misao tried to say something that wouldn't betray her inner thoughts, "S-so, Aoshi-sama. How was your day?"
Walking up to him with a timid smile on her face, she looked at her hands clasped together, waiting for his response before they left the hallway to join the Himuras for dinner. Aoshi looked down at her, something flickering in his eyes, "I spent some time doing Oniwa business, then I talked to Himura for a while, and I sparred with Myoujin Yahiko for an hour or so." Misao blinked with mild surprise—Himura, not Battousai? He had sparred with Yahiko? She swiftly tried to digest the meaning of his actions, but after finding that Aoshi was waiting for her to go with him for dinner, decided to push her thoughts aside for a later time. One thing was for sure—the change of his actions brought a smile that graced her features. Aoshi watched in guarded silence as he saw Misao transform from a ruffled sleepy girl into a glowing young woman with a rosy flush and charming smile on her face. It will be very difficult to keep my hands off of her, he discovered, laying a tentative hand around her shoulder and bringing her closer to his side as the two of them walked towards the kitchen.
Chapter 10bMisao couldn't help but fidget nervously as she gathered all of the tea materials together on a tray. Aoshi had taken to working in his room, and had given up going to the temple every day, she noted mentally when her eyes scanned the contents on her tray, making sure everything was there. They had been back from Tokyo for a day already, and Aoshi had grabbed her by the hand before leaving the train upon their arrival at Kyoto, telling her that they would talk the next time Misao brought tea to him. Misao picked up the tray shakily, and then put it back down with a sigh; Kami-sama, she was nervous. She knew all too well that the fate of their love rested on this meeting—Misao would do her best to be in her most composed, balanced mindset. Breathing deeply and applying a few meditation tricks she had picked up, Misao closed her eyes for a few minutes, concentrating on relieving all inner turmoil as she sat still. Bah, she thought impatiently after a few moments of ineffective silence, it doesn't work. Oh well, I'll just try my best and trust in myself. Looking out of the window for any sign of encouragement, Misao smiled as she looked at the blossoming plum trees in the Aoiya courtyard. Call me a fool, she told to herself amusedly, but I interpret flowers as positive omens. Taking up the tray once more with firm hands, Misao walked determinedly towards Aoshi's room.
Aoshi had given up doing any sort of paperwork hours ago. He ran a hand through his hair in agitation, standing anxiously by the window, the sight of the flowering trees doing little to ease his apprehension. Where in the name of Kami-sama was Misao? This was the first time in many that Aoshi had felt such impatience and dread before Misao came to participate in their customary tea ceremony. He gently pounded his fist against the windowpane, his teeth gritted together as he felt adrenaline pump through his system. He knew the big decisions they had to make, and his nervousness wasn't going to encourage the results of their meeting. One thing is certain, he thought with rigid certainty, I'm not letting her go without a fight. I do not take lightly to anyone or anything taking what is mine away without my permission. With that last possessive thought, Aoshi turned from the window the same at time he heard a light knock on his door, "Come in."
Misao licked her lips nervously, setting the tray down on his large desk. Turning to face him with a small uneasy smile, Misao cleared her voice and said, "Konnichiwa, Aoshi-sama." Aoshi nodded in response, approaching her and pulling out two chairs away from the desk so he and Misao could sit together comfortably. Misao poured the tea meticulously; the only sign of her inner agitation was sight of her teeth biting on her lower lip. Handing a steaming cup to the impassive man, she sat down with a sigh only perceptible to herself as she brought her cup to her face, blowing on its contents to conceal part of her face. Aoshi wasn't helping—instead of starting the discussion; he sat silently with his cup in hand, watching her with those deep blue eyes of his. Misao stopped fidgeting and began to replace her anxiety with irritation: oh, were all men as dense as her Aoshi-sama? He should know that she wasn't willing to start the conversation! Putting her cup away with a frown she blurted, "So, what are we going to do about all this?"
Aoshi had watched her with hidden amusement, seeing her get more irked by the moment at his unwillingness to talk. He indulged himself with a very minute smile before responding, "I don't know. What are we going to do?"
Misao sat back in astonishment—had Aoshi just smiled at her? He sat back comfortably, his eyes unreadable and his stolid expression put back in place; it must have been her imagination.
"A-ano, Aoshi-sama. I need to know how we really are right now. We should carefully consider the state of our feelings before assuming things or acting rashly. I mean, this is marriage we're talking about." She watched Aoshi bring the teacup to his mouth and take a sip, as cool and nonchalant as ever, making her blood boil in frustration. "Are you listening to me?"
With her last outburst, Aoshi brought the cup away from his mouth, revealing a slight smile: "You have all my attention, as always."
He was rewarded with a pretty blush and Misao's temporary confusion, "Na-nani?"
Getting up smoothly, his arm stretched out to place the cup on his desk. Aoshi soon breached the distance between the two of them, putting his hands on the arm rests so he could lean over her, his face but a few inches from hers. Misao turned a deeper shade of scarlet as she stammered, "Aoshi-sama, what are you doing?" Her breathing was becoming labored—his closeness was almost too much to handle. His warm breath made her dizzy and his blue eyes hypnotized her, pushing all rational thoughts aside.
"Giving you my full attention."
Misao averted her gaze, and then laid a gentle yet firm hand against his chest, warding him off of her, "No, Aoshi-sama. I can't talk to you like that—it's too distracting."
Aoshi stared at her in a moment of inscrutable silence, before grabbing her by the arm and leading her to the open window. He gestured for her to come closer to the window before speaking, "I already told you what I think of our relationship." Misao bit her lip—how could she ever forget those words? They would be engraved forever in her memory, along with that fiery embrace. He looked out into the garden, taking a deep breath before he continued, "Do you remember the time you fell ill? I came to visit you when you were about thirteen years old." Misao nodded encouragingly, a small blush crowning her features as she thought about Aoshi's comment about diapers that time. "I stayed by your side those nights when you tossed and turned, battling with your fears alone. Even then, I felt like I wanted to be by your side. Misao, I have loved you as a man loves a woman since you were thirteen. I am willing to be patient—I have waited for years. I can and will wait for you." He turned to look piercingly at the slender woman besides him, his eyes expectant, pleading, and loving.
Misao's head was spinning. He had said what? She put a hand on the windowpane to steady herself—all this waiting, all her hope and pain had accumulated for this moment, and all Misao could think of was how simple it all could have been. But then again, he was Aoshi, and she was Misao—they just had to go around circles with each other for Kami-sama knows how long! Pushing aside her frustrations, she looked up at him uncertainly, voicing her greatest worry as she tried very hard to keep her tears at bay, "And what about children? You heard my diagnosis—I may never be able to be a mother. Would you be content with living with me, sleeping with me, and never being able to… make love to me?" Shaking her head sorrowfully, Misao sighed, "Aoshi-sama, I don't even know if I could restrain myself. Would it be wise to have such restrictions between a husband and his wife?"
Aoshi took her small pale hand in his large one and gazed upon her face, "Do you love me, Misao?"
Misao closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks, "Yes."
"Then do me the greatest honor of trusting in yourself."
Misao's eyes flew open, "Nani?"
"If I trust us to make things all right, then you should, too. If you believe our love is strong enough, then we can go through anything together. Are you ready to take the risks?"
Aoshi dropped her hand gently, and turned to face the garden fully, the light playing upon his features as he waited for Misao to respond.
"Yes…Aoshi."
His arms draped over her petite figure, he brought her into a crushing embrace, "Good. I've been longing to do this to you for a long time." He leaned against the wall, his head lowered to capture her lips with his.
Misao's eyes had fluttered open with initial surprise, but then closed contentedly as she tentatively wrapped her arms around him, sharing the fire with him. So silent, and yet so passionate, thought Misao as she felt herself get swept away by the sensations he was creating, his warm wet mouth wreaking havoc in her mind, What a fool I had been; I should have known I could never refuse him.