Shinji's Journal
Chapter 6: Ooooohh, so that's what happened/heh heh, I knew it all along!
Shinji was exhausted. He was fried, used, and burned out. All the poor boy could seemingly do was lift a finger to shoo away his sometimes annoying friends. Shinji had his head down on his desk as the teacher droned on about second impact. again. Of course, Shinji never listened. Shinji's father had explained the real situation a long time ago. About Adam, about Lilith, Shinji knew everything. They had had arguments over it, Instrumentality. Shinji didn't like the idea, he insisted that there were indeed things to live for. Gendo was at first skeptical, but eventually decided that living WAS best. It took a while for Shinji to convince him, in the end he had to play his trump card.
"It's what mother would have wanted." It was true, his mother had given her final wish before she died. His mother had wanted to see her son again. So they decided, that with the power of creation, they wouldn't evolve, they would retrieve what they had lost. This was what they were currently working towards. Of course, they had to convince SEELE that they were all for Instrumentality, otherwise they wouldn't have any funding. Kozou was a HUGE help in that area. Gendo had never quite mastered the dark imposing look, so he used the serious old man to do it for him. Talking to the council was always a pain, they asked too many questions. They always had to come up with good lies before the meetings. Lies that would mask what they were truly doing.
Shinji was too tired to think of this, so he instead surrendered to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Asuka looked over to where Shinji was sleeping at his desk. He looked kinda' cute while he slept. He looked so innocent, like he had never seen pain, suffering, or loss. His face lied, however, she knew it. Asuka didn't know everything that had happened to the poor boy, but she did know one thing. Her mind wandered back to that event. . .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 year before
"Shinji, I've had a wonderful time tonight!" Hikari exclaimed as she was whisked down the sidewalk by the pier. The moon was full and high, the lights of the carnival clashing with it's cold glow. The dueling lights caused to ocean to paint a surreal picture of a heaven that most would love to see. The cool sand refreshed their bare feet which had just recently escaped the humid cells which we call shoes. It was a nice feeling, accentuated by a warm breeze which relaxed and energized them at the same time. It was the perfect mood for romance, no one could deny that. But what would seem like a blessing to most, would only bring problems and heart-ache for the two teens sharing the evening. Hikari was an emotional girl to say the least, she was easily caught up in things like the atmosphere. As Hikari looked into Shinji's eyes, losing herself in the deep blue orbs. Her body was completely relaxed and her mind was being carried by the breeze. Her heart was taking control and the river of her love was flowing unobstructed. The rivers flow ran directly to the heart of the boy standing next to her. Hikari went with her instincts and leaned forward, starting a passionate kiss that would last for the next 5 minutes. As they kissed, Shinji's hands roamed up and down Hikari's back, lightly teasing the sensitive nerves on the small of her back. Hikari's arms were wrapped tightly around Shinji's neck, keeping his head in the position required for such intimate actions to occur. Neither could break eye contact as they drew back from the kiss. Both miraculously were able to maneuver their way through Tokyo three without ever looking away from one another. When they finally reached Hikari's home, Shinji said goodbye and turned to leave. Hikari on the other hand, had a different idea. Her father was visiting the German branch of NERV and would not return for a week. So the house was empty except for her sisters, who both slept like logs. She grabbed hold of Shinji's hand as he turned to leave. Shinji turned around to find a very intense looking Hikari pulling him towards her door. As they entered Hikari's house she motioned for Shinji to be quiet as to not wake her sisters. They journeyed up the stairs and into Hikari's bed-room. Once there they began kissing. Their kisses opened the door to more physical elements which finally led to the inevitable question.
"No. . . H. . . Hikari. . . I don't think we're. . ." He was cut off as Hikari drowned out his protests with another kiss.
Shinji, however, was determined not to do anything to rash, "Hikari!" But Hikari just would not stop. She continued to kiss and touch him. Drowning him in her affections.
"Hikari! I said STOP!" But she didn't stop, she continued. Shinji didn't want to hurt the girl, but he also didn't feel ready to take that step. Shinji wasn't even sure he knew the girl anymore, such animalistic passion, such disregard for others, this was not HIS Hikari. He was crying, to him it felt like he was a child that just learned that there was no Santa Clause. It was as if his whole relationship was based on lies. He felt sick. He gripped Hikari by the waist, and flipped her over on the bed. He stared at her lying there. Her face was almost blank, only passion in her eyes. Shinji decided that was enough, he walked out the room shaking his head in disbelief.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Present
That was the end of his relationship with Hikari. Asuka hoped she wouldn't make a similar mistake. Then again, before she could worry about not screwing up a relationship, she had to have one first. The problem was that it didn't look like Shinji and Rei were going to be separating any time soon. In fact, any professional relationship analyst would probably say that Shinji and Rei would never separate. Asuka sighed, knowing that she would have to be patient. In just two days, she had been ruined. Shinji was now the only one that could satisfy her, she knew it, no one could even compare. So she'd just have to wait.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Author's Notes Okay, another short chapter. Sorry, but I guess I'm just no good at writing long ones. Anyways, this way it never seems like I'm trying to hard to make something long. I find that attempting to add too much to a chapter can ruin it. So anyways, GO TO MY WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!!!! SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!!!!!!! ROAR!!!!!!!!! Yowch!!! Hey that wasn't nice, *Looks at E-Wok with stick* "Yub Yub!" OUCH!!!
Anyways. Seriously though, I like feedback. If you wanna' get in touch just check my profile, my AIM name is there. My website is for Dialup users, go to . OK, cya!!!!!
Chapter 6: Ooooohh, so that's what happened/heh heh, I knew it all along!
Shinji was exhausted. He was fried, used, and burned out. All the poor boy could seemingly do was lift a finger to shoo away his sometimes annoying friends. Shinji had his head down on his desk as the teacher droned on about second impact. again. Of course, Shinji never listened. Shinji's father had explained the real situation a long time ago. About Adam, about Lilith, Shinji knew everything. They had had arguments over it, Instrumentality. Shinji didn't like the idea, he insisted that there were indeed things to live for. Gendo was at first skeptical, but eventually decided that living WAS best. It took a while for Shinji to convince him, in the end he had to play his trump card.
"It's what mother would have wanted." It was true, his mother had given her final wish before she died. His mother had wanted to see her son again. So they decided, that with the power of creation, they wouldn't evolve, they would retrieve what they had lost. This was what they were currently working towards. Of course, they had to convince SEELE that they were all for Instrumentality, otherwise they wouldn't have any funding. Kozou was a HUGE help in that area. Gendo had never quite mastered the dark imposing look, so he used the serious old man to do it for him. Talking to the council was always a pain, they asked too many questions. They always had to come up with good lies before the meetings. Lies that would mask what they were truly doing.
Shinji was too tired to think of this, so he instead surrendered to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Asuka looked over to where Shinji was sleeping at his desk. He looked kinda' cute while he slept. He looked so innocent, like he had never seen pain, suffering, or loss. His face lied, however, she knew it. Asuka didn't know everything that had happened to the poor boy, but she did know one thing. Her mind wandered back to that event. . .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 year before
"Shinji, I've had a wonderful time tonight!" Hikari exclaimed as she was whisked down the sidewalk by the pier. The moon was full and high, the lights of the carnival clashing with it's cold glow. The dueling lights caused to ocean to paint a surreal picture of a heaven that most would love to see. The cool sand refreshed their bare feet which had just recently escaped the humid cells which we call shoes. It was a nice feeling, accentuated by a warm breeze which relaxed and energized them at the same time. It was the perfect mood for romance, no one could deny that. But what would seem like a blessing to most, would only bring problems and heart-ache for the two teens sharing the evening. Hikari was an emotional girl to say the least, she was easily caught up in things like the atmosphere. As Hikari looked into Shinji's eyes, losing herself in the deep blue orbs. Her body was completely relaxed and her mind was being carried by the breeze. Her heart was taking control and the river of her love was flowing unobstructed. The rivers flow ran directly to the heart of the boy standing next to her. Hikari went with her instincts and leaned forward, starting a passionate kiss that would last for the next 5 minutes. As they kissed, Shinji's hands roamed up and down Hikari's back, lightly teasing the sensitive nerves on the small of her back. Hikari's arms were wrapped tightly around Shinji's neck, keeping his head in the position required for such intimate actions to occur. Neither could break eye contact as they drew back from the kiss. Both miraculously were able to maneuver their way through Tokyo three without ever looking away from one another. When they finally reached Hikari's home, Shinji said goodbye and turned to leave. Hikari on the other hand, had a different idea. Her father was visiting the German branch of NERV and would not return for a week. So the house was empty except for her sisters, who both slept like logs. She grabbed hold of Shinji's hand as he turned to leave. Shinji turned around to find a very intense looking Hikari pulling him towards her door. As they entered Hikari's house she motioned for Shinji to be quiet as to not wake her sisters. They journeyed up the stairs and into Hikari's bed-room. Once there they began kissing. Their kisses opened the door to more physical elements which finally led to the inevitable question.
"No. . . H. . . Hikari. . . I don't think we're. . ." He was cut off as Hikari drowned out his protests with another kiss.
Shinji, however, was determined not to do anything to rash, "Hikari!" But Hikari just would not stop. She continued to kiss and touch him. Drowning him in her affections.
"Hikari! I said STOP!" But she didn't stop, she continued. Shinji didn't want to hurt the girl, but he also didn't feel ready to take that step. Shinji wasn't even sure he knew the girl anymore, such animalistic passion, such disregard for others, this was not HIS Hikari. He was crying, to him it felt like he was a child that just learned that there was no Santa Clause. It was as if his whole relationship was based on lies. He felt sick. He gripped Hikari by the waist, and flipped her over on the bed. He stared at her lying there. Her face was almost blank, only passion in her eyes. Shinji decided that was enough, he walked out the room shaking his head in disbelief.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Present
That was the end of his relationship with Hikari. Asuka hoped she wouldn't make a similar mistake. Then again, before she could worry about not screwing up a relationship, she had to have one first. The problem was that it didn't look like Shinji and Rei were going to be separating any time soon. In fact, any professional relationship analyst would probably say that Shinji and Rei would never separate. Asuka sighed, knowing that she would have to be patient. In just two days, she had been ruined. Shinji was now the only one that could satisfy her, she knew it, no one could even compare. So she'd just have to wait.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Author's Notes Okay, another short chapter. Sorry, but I guess I'm just no good at writing long ones. Anyways, this way it never seems like I'm trying to hard to make something long. I find that attempting to add too much to a chapter can ruin it. So anyways, GO TO MY WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!!!! SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!!!!!!! ROAR!!!!!!!!! Yowch!!! Hey that wasn't nice, *Looks at E-Wok with stick* "Yub Yub!" OUCH!!!
Anyways. Seriously though, I like feedback. If you wanna' get in touch just check my profile, my AIM name is there. My website is for Dialup users, go to . OK, cya!!!!!