Love Potion
A/N- This is supposed to be a stupid, pointless, one-shot, funny Snape fic. Hope it turns out that way. The beginning is just weird and then it gets weirder. REMEMBER: I do not own Harry Potter or J.K. Rowling. *cries* I want fifth Harry Potter book... It's out in 119 days *brightens up*!
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A certain potions master stood above his smoldering cauldron. "Just one more ingredient..." he said. He walked in his storeroom to find some wolfsbane, muttering how long this potion took to make.
At that instant Fred and George Weasley opened the door to Snape's office. "Good, he's getting the wolfsbane, George. Now all we have to do is add our little ingredient..." Fred said sinisterly. The two red-heads went up to the potion.
"Who would have known that a little passion fruit juice could change a headache relieving potion into a love potion?" George exclaimed. After pouring in a cup of the juice they left.
Snape having no knowledge of this kept brewing the potion and bottled it for later use.
***
The next day Snape taught Gryfinndors and Slytherins double potions. "Oh god," he thought, "Neville for 3 whole hours, thank goodness I brewed a headache relieving potion yesterday." He quickly drank the whole bottle and headed to class.
When he walked in he felt a bit woozy. Not quite himself. He shrugged off the feeling and continued to teach.
After an hour it became apparent that something was wrong. Harry raised his hand. "Sir... are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine," came Snape's reply. "In fact, I'm better than fine. I'm in a classroom filled with people I just LOVE!" he danced around the room.
Everyone was even more scared of him than usual. Hermione stood up and asked, "Professor, should I take you to the hospital wing?" He turned and approached her.
"No need," he said waving his arms everywhere. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you for your concern, my dearest Hermione."
The class was beside themselves with laughter and shock. Just then Neville managed to melt yet another cauldron. "I'm sorry sir," he said meekly.
Snape just laughed, "The money you must spend on cauldrons, Neville." He laughed again. "It's quite all right dear boy." Then Snape went around the room singing incessantly. First he sang 'The song that never ends..." and then '100 bottles of butterbeer on the wall'.
After finishing the songs, Snape went on to compliment Draco's hair and Ron's freckles. Then he waltzed out of the room. The class saw this as the end of potions and left, Hermione still flustered.
Snape headed on to Dumbledore's office stopping only to say the password, "Treacle Tart". As soon as he reached Dumbledore he gave him a bear hug. "I love you, old fellow!" he proclaimed and left to the staff room.
Dumbledore stood there wondering if he should inform the staff that Snape had cracked. He decided that they all knew it was going to happen sometime and went off to have tea with Hagrid.
In the staff room all the teachers were playing 'Go fish'. When Snape burst in all the players dropped their cards. "So you did have an eight!" Filtwick yelled at Sprout. Sprout slapped him on the head and pointed to Snape. He was coming over to them.
"I cannot stand two people I love arguing," Snape said, "Let's all apologize and then sing. I'll start... 'I love you, You love me. We're a happy family'"
The staff ran out and drowned themselves in the lake because they couldn't stand his singing anymore.
Snape fainted shortly after this because his loved ones had died and the potion had side effects.
After this event the students gave up on taking Snape seriously and Dumbledore suggested to Fudge that to get criminals to talk, they should hear a drugged Snape singing the Barney song.
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A/N- Now if any story deserves flames it is this one. It was sooooooo stupid. If you liked it please say so, then I will know I didn't waste half an hour. There should be a new category for this,-- STUPID, PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT STORIES, that didn't make it--!! Yeah it could've been better but it wasn't. I wanted to try this and see what happened. I swear I will never do this again, if you people hate it. ^-^ I'll probably never do this again anyhow. Ok less sugar next time I write. Bye... sorry you read this!