A/N: And now, an attack from the venomous plot bunnies! Here you go.
Chapter Twelve: Word on the Owl Post
Dear Uncle Harry,
I have a bit of a problem I can't talk to Mum about, and I was wondering if you or Aunt Ginny might have a good idea or two to help me out. There's this guy I sort of fancy, totally undateable, but still a dish, only he's been a total boggart when we met last night. I sort of fell asleep in the Common Room, and so this bugger puts me in bed like a little kid, leaving a note with the most annoying postscript I have EVER heard, just to snipe at me because he's all Slytherinish. Any ideas on how to get back at him?
I'm sorry if this seems intolerably childish. How are the babies, do you think they can ride on a broomstick yet? Apparently Dad thinks they'll be old enough at seven months. Is he joking? Hope to see you at the Quidditch game with Hufflepuff.
-Julie S. Snape, Seeker, Gryffindor
P.S., Tim and Tom suggested I should sign my name that way. Is that correct?
Dear Uncle Ron,
How would you recommend ticking Malfoy off?
-Julie S. Snape, Seeker, Gryffindor
Dear Julie,
Sometimes guys can just be buggers when they like you a lot. I would suggest pretending to take the postscript literally, especially if by some chance he didn't mean to offend. I would also ask your mum what she thinks of him, as she does know a lot about guys and stuff. When I was your age she helped me ask my crush out, and look what happened. Uncle Harry says to write an equally nasty note, but I don't think he grasps the situation here.
Lily and (little) Hermione are both growing like weeds and starting to stand up. And I don't think your father was joking, as Harry's already given both of them rides on his Firebolt. Good luck in the match against Hufflepuff, we will all be there in the stands with your mum and dad!
Much love,
-Aunt Ginny
Dear Julie,
Ask him to hold your pet ferret a few minutes in your mum's presence. He'll fall apart like a house-elf with pension plan. You might also make some Muggle jokes he'll never get, around friends of yours who know full well what you mean by them. And if all else fails, ask my brothers for some aid at the joke shop. They'll know what to do. My two nephews will also have good ideas. I'll be up for the match against Hufflepuff with a surprise for your parents- well, you won't tell, will you Jules? I'll tell you. It's my girlfriend, the one I want to ask to marry me. I wrote Harry and Ginny about having met her four months ago, but I don't think they know that I love her yet. You'll like her; she's worked with kids all her life. Just one more secret I need you to keep, okay? My girlfriend's a Muggle. Does that seem weird?
Good luck against Hufflepuff, and save me a dance at the Halloween Ball, okay?
Ferrets rule!
-Uncle Ron
"Perfect," Julie observed smugly, tucking the letters in her robe pocket with her quill.
"What's perfect, Jules?" Tim asked.
"Have the Chudley Cannons beat the Wimbourne Wasps or something?" Tom looked hopefully at her, knowing Durmstrang was more likely to start a ballet club than the Cannons were to beat the Wasps this season. Julie gave them a look of profound mischief. "I know that look! Is that note from Uncle Ron?"
"Yes, the one is."
"Let us see!"
"Not this time, guys. It's about something personal, kind of odd. He did tell me how to get back at that guy who had pissed me off, though."
"Are you ever going to tell us who the bugger is?"
"Not likely. You'd tease me and beat him and everyone involved would be very sad."
"I bet it's Malgryevic."
"Or else that Flint ass is out for her blood again."
"Neither, guys, I can handle this on my own."
"Julie, you're our little coz."
"Let us help."
"I'm only five months younger, that does not constitute little by any means!"
"You're a girl, though, so we're going to be protective."
"Why don't you let us take the bugger out for you?"
Julie sighed heavily and shot them each a somewhat pained expression.
"I don't think you could do it without making him very ticked, and I don't want revenge so much as just returns." Suddenly both Weasley boys grew quiet.
"It's Donaghan, isn't it, Starcatcher?"
"That's why you guys aren't dating anymore?"
"No! Donaghan and I decided to be friends. The fellow I'm mad at is a peasantish Slytherin with a complete lack of morals and civility. A wretched little snake with no sense of propriety or even- -oh, hi, Malfoy." The blond gentleman had come up behind her in the Great Hall and was holding up the book she'd found for him to read. Julie went red as the Weasleys' hair. "Was the book alright?"
"Very good. I've been thinking about a trip to the Muggle library in London, though, try to get things from a non-wizarding point of view. Do you know what street it's on?"
"It? There are over seventeen libraries in the West Side alone."
"Do you know where there's a good one, though?"
"Several, which part of London are you thinking in?"
"Y'see, I've only been in the wizard parts. I was sort of wondering if you'd like to go with me."
"Okay…if my parents say I can."
"Can you Apparate yet?"
"Don't know what it is."
"Oh. We'll fly, then, I guess. I'll go ask your dad and mum right now, then." He vanished toward the teachers' table, leaving Tim and Tom in a state of absolute gobsmackedness. Julie gave them sheepish looks and they burst into laughter.
"Did that just happen?"
"You're going to Muggle London with the new Charms professor? You are just like your mum with a vengeance, Jule!"
"I am not! And he's only my father's friend- -what d'you mean he's the new Charms professor?"
"Professor Flitwick's retiring at Christmastime. Didn't you hear the announcement McGonagall made?"
"No! When was that?"
"Two days ago. Where were you?"
"I must have been…library." The Weasleys shrugged and went back to their plates of roast beef, even as Julie was blushing fiercely from the memory of whom she had been there with.
"Figures you skipped dinner the past two days."
"We had the best kippers the other night," Tom observed.
"Kippers? I skipped it on purpose. Call me crazy, but I'm more the chips with vinegar fish-eater."
"Right on, sister," Mack agreed, sitting down across from them, minutes late. "What did Professor Pureblood want with Starcatcher?"
"He asked her out," Tom announced.
"Fancies her, I reckon, hot-blood snake."
"You guys!" Julie was not pleased with the conversation or her two friends. Mack just grinned and gave her a jesting look.
"I don't blame the git, she looks like a winning goal." Face flaming, Julie stood up in rage and disgust with him. "See what I mean, Weasleys, dig that chest. And those frisky little Muggle jeans-"
"You shut up," Donaghan ordered, wand level with MacAndrew's tender neck. He had swept up like a wrathful bird to defend Julie from the filthy mouth of their friend Mack, who nodded and looked as if he had swallowed a flobberworm. "Apologize."
"I'm sorry, Starcatcher."
It was too late. The Seeker had fled the hall. From the end of the table Chloe Davies got up to follow her. Over Malfoy's shoulder, Hermione and Severus saw her bolt. The Slytherin saw their faces and turned around.
Faster than Hermione or Severus, Malfoy had wrung the story out of the Weasley boys. He made short work of them all, taking his first five points from Gryffindor for MacAndrew and then giving Donaghan ten for his chivalry. Two minutes had him back at the teachers' table.
"They were teasing her about those Muggle clothes she wears. Are they the only ones she has besides her wizard robes?"
"Well…I think so, actually." Hermione was shocked that she had somehow forgotten that. Severus gave Malfoy a look and a parchment scrap.
"Here's a check out of our Gringotts vault. While you're in London, Julie can find some proper things."
"Well, uh, Sev- -uh," Malfoy stumbled, uncertain how the phrase the problem he had with this. "I haven't the faintest clue how to shop with a girl."
"It's just like with a guy, except girls take it really seriously and ask your opinion on everything," Hermione clarified. Draco looked pale as Severus added his own part.
"You also have to watch that she doesn't buy something outrageous like a skirt that doesn't go to her knees at least."
"Severus! She's fifteen and it's nearly two-thousand nineteen here. She doesn't have to dress like a nun, you know."
"I don't want her frisking about in those little pleated numbers the girls wore in your class so often."
"Like they weren't just as bad when you were in school, too. The dress code recommends skirts, there's really no reason for them not to be shorter or somewhat tight."
"At least Julie has the sense God gave a stump and wears jeans around the satyrs that I see in class."
"That may be because she doesn't own a skirt. Have you noticed how much she sticks out that way?"
"Wouldn't she anyway?"
"Not that way! Every other girl in Hogwarts wears a skirt most days, it's only Julie in bluejeans and patched-up shirts."
"Why doesn't she wear your old ones, Hermione?" Draco asked, afraid that a fight might break out with them.
"She can barely fit into my old school robes from seventh-year because she's so tall and her arms are as long as her father's now."
"And the skirts you wore were really quite ridiculous."
"You didn't seem to mind that when I wore them though," Hermione pointed out mischievously, making Draco and Severus blush dark red.
"Do you think I want her doing some of the things that you did in them, dear?"
Now it was Hermione's turn to go brilliant red. Draco bit his lip to keep from laughing at the both of them.
"I think that the Malfoy good taste can be trusted here."
"That's why I asked you to supervise. If I asked Ginny Weasley she'd come back dressed like Britney Spears or maybe worse."
"And you know I'm too busy with N.E.W.T.s to write."
"I think you'll have to get her first dress robes, dear. I'm certain Draco can find school clothes that aren't so-"
"Flamboyant?"
"Tight?" Hermione and Malfoy looked at one another. "I think you can trust me," Draco observed.
"Alright, Malfoy, but no riding crops or garter belts."
Severus looked quite pale at his wife's joking remark, and he gave Draco a firm look of 'ignore that,' before noticing that Malfoy was pale as well. Except it wasn't in horror at what she'd said, it was in fear of what Severus might do to him if he knew that he'd taken her jeans off once.
"Can I expect you both back here at dinnertime?"
"Sure, we're going to fly because Julie can't Apparate."
"Good, good. She'll like that."
"Flying from Hogwarts to London?" Hermione asked in shock.
"It's quite usual, her broom can go quite fast, you know."
"But- -but airplanes, and helicopters…large pigeons, she could get killed doing that!"
"I assure you, our daughter is capable."
"Alright."
Judging by her expression, Severus knew Hermione would not relax a second all the whole day long. Draco reassured her that Julie was very good, and after making him promise to be very careful, she allowed him to go and find Julie.
"Are you alright?" Severus asked her very tenderly. It was the tone of voice that almost always made her want to drop everything and just hug him, which for the sake of where they were she did not do right then. "I can trust Draco to watch over his honorary niece, surely."
"She's never really taken to him as an uncle, though."
"I know, she only calls him 'Malfoy' just like you do, dear." Severus scratched the side of his head a bit above his ear. "Must either be an influence or just genetic dislike of blond people."
"You don't think she'd-"
"Definitely not. I'd trust Draco as if he were my own son- -not that way!"
"That is a profoundly frightening thought, isn't it?"
"Very. And it's hypocritical of me to even suspect that it might happen."
"Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, and what we did was very unusual."
"It turned out nicely, though, didn't it?"
"Very, Professor, you done with this?"
"Quite. Should we just go back to our classrooms or sit and chat?"
"Well, one of our classrooms sounds interesting."
Severus gave her a sidelong grin and kissed her on her left cheek.
"Nice as you are, I hope our daughter doesn't take after you that much. Meet me in the dungeons?"
"Five minutes."
"Fairy droppings," Draco attempted, having forgotten what password Julie'd used two days ago. The Fat Lady gave him a look of profound disgust. "Fairy rear ends, fairy shoelaces? I know it was something with fairies, can't you give me half credit?" The Fat Lady giggled and shook her head. "Fairy…tails?"
"Right, dear, try writing it on your arm."
The portrait swung aside and Malfoy sighed in relief to gain entry at last. Little Chloe Davies walked right up to him at the door. It was plain from her long veela hair whose daughter she was, and Malfoy was stunned by her bravery.
"You aren't supposed to know the password, sir."
"You aren't supposed to talk back to professors, miss."
"You're Julie's dad's friend, aren't you? She's upstairs in her room if you want to see her."
"Thank you, Miss Davies." Malfoy started toward the steps to the fifth- years' rooms, then paused and remembered he wasn't supposed to have ever been there before. "Could you show me where her room is?"
"Of course, Professor Malfoy, it's right up here." Chloe led him right to the familiar door, which today had a different picture on it. Instead of a reproduced Muggle album cover, Julie had put up a wizarding picture of what looked like a long, skinny rabbit with shorter ears. A ferret. Malfoy winced at the memory of being one and realized he might have offended her. Would anyone have told her that little anecdote? Her best friends were two Weasleys, he remembered, so she could probably recite it now from memory. He had definitely offended young Starcatcher.
"Julie?" he inquired, knocking while Miss Davies watched protectively.
"Come in!" a cheery voice announced, and he did so with Chloe behind him.
Julie was holding a large ferret in her hands, clearly a pet, as it nuzzled her. Malfoy went a little paler and Chloe smiled at them.
"You feelin' better, Julie?"
"Oh, much better, thanks, Chlo'. I was thinking about what you said, maybe we can stop by Hogsmeade tomorrow night?"
"I'm only in first year."
"Damn, I forgot. Well, I'll ask the Marauders to help me out." Draco could have sworn that the two exchanged a secret glance. "I'm almost ready, Malfoy, could you hold Anthony a minute here?"
Malfoy found himself holding the ferret, which seemed a little more interested in it's mistress than the blond-haired man holding it. He started to say something, only to see that the ferret was looking into his eyes almost humanly –very odd.
"Nice ferret…Anthony," he mumbled, only to have the ferret abruptly dart down his shirt and circle around his pant leg. It loped across the floor like a spotted streak, climbing Julie's leg right up to her shoulder then.
"Oh, sorry, Malfoy, he's trained to come back to me. If somebody says his name nervously when they're holding him, he does that, which is just what he's trained to do. Obedient things, ferrets, aren't they? Shozo yubi hito de!!"
At those words Julie gave it, the ferret ran back to Malfoy and began to run around his boots. Draco stood frozen to the spot, terrified, even as Chloe giggled at him quietly. "Kata de kudasai!" Julie called sharply. Seconds had Anthony back on her shoulder.
"Was that Japanese you command him in?"
"Sure, he's an Edo Spotted Ferret, right?"
"So you told him to 'polish the person's shoes'?"
"Yeah, it looks like he did an okay job, too."
"Well, how come he ran to me and not Chloe?"
"Because he isn't stupid. If I meant Chloe I'd tell him 'shozo yubi Chloe de.' He knows who my friends are- -oh, there he goes."
Chloe picked up the ferret from at her feet and returned him to Julie with a mischievous smile.
"I'd better be off to go study, now. See you later, Julie, professor Malfoy."
The instant the half-French first-year was gone, Julie looked more nervous than ever in Malfoy's presence alone. She put Anthony into his cage and gave him a treat, still watching the blond-haired man in her room.
"I just heard today that you're going to be our new Charms professor at Christmastime."
"Yeah, I'm giving up Aurory for teaching now."
"So long as you don't start a dueling club, I think you'll do a great job with it."
"Wouldn't you like to learn dueling from the best?"
"I just got my teeth to a normal size, thank you."
Malfoy smirked a little at her wry sarcasm. If nothing else, she could be funny sometimes.
"Your parents told me to get you some clothes as well. I've got a slip for their Gringotts vault, you should be able to figure out what you want."
"Clothes? But I've got clothes."
"They're Muggle ones."
"Up 'til recently I lived among Muggles. And there doesn't seem to be much difference from the wizard kind."
"Well, most girls here wear school skirts and stuff like that; and those jeans are just so…tight, y'know?"
"I know you know for sure just how tight they are." Malfoy knew she was definitely ticked at him. "Did you have a hard time with the buttons in the dark that night?"
"Look, I didn't want you to sleep in tight clothes that way, you might wake up really sore from the seams of them."
"I've slept in tight jeans before, Malfoy. Tell me; why not unseam them with your wand to take them off of me? 'Ravelus Stiticus' should serve that end perfectly."
She wasn't even touching her wand, but the words of the spell made her clothes fall apart where they hung on her. Malfoy's were just as quick, falling off into pieces around his feet. Both Seekers leapt to opposite sides of the four-poster.
"How the hell did you do that?"
"I've no idea!"
"The counterspell's 'reparo,' try it without your wand at our clothes."
"Okay…reparo?" The clothes resewed instantly.
"You haven't got your wand taped to your arm or something?"
"No, it's right there in my robe pocket with my quill and the letters I got today."
"You didn't touch your wand to do those spells?"
"No, Malfoy!"
They were both on the ground with only heads above the level of the tall, wide bed. "Have you got your wand?"
"No, it's in my robes, too."
"Damn!" Fortunately Chloe had had the sense to close the door behind her. "I'm going to try and get them and throw them over there, so shut your eyes or I'll tell Dad you were in here."
"I'll tell your dad you were naked, too."
"You wouldn't be that stupid."
"Would I now? Your dad's known me as long as he's known your mum. You're a dangerous almost-sixteen-year-old, plus you are your mother's daughter in a certain sense."
"Are you saying you don't want to close your eyes, Malfoy?" She was teasing him horribly and he felt his face redden further at that comment. Squinting his eyes tight, he also realized he was interested in how she looked. This was much to long a wait for her to throw the clothes.
"Got your eyes shut, too, Starcatcher?"
"I'm putting my own clothes on first, thank you. Haven't you noticed it's cold in here?"
"Yes, actually I have. It is very cold." 'Not cold enough, though,' he thought somewhat ruefully. "Have you at least got your shirt on yet?"
"I'm completely dressed, now you're the naked one."
"You're doing this for revenge, aren't you?"
"No, I just like naked men in my room. Sometimes I can get as many as six at a time to crouch in the corner and shiver there. Amuses me no end in wintertime."
"You are the sickest half-Mudblood I've ever known."
"Oh, a half-Mudblood? That's a new one. Doesn't 'Mudblood' mean your parents are Muggles? Both of mine are rather gifted wizards who would probably find this whole story to be quite the situational comedy."
"Did you do this on purpose?"
"No, I didn't, actually. I think it's funny, though, now that I'm dressed and you're not, you sexy bitch."
"What?!"
"I d'know, just thought it might get a rise from you. Here's your clothes and I have got my eyes shut now."
"You damned well better. I could take every point Gryffindor's got, you know."
"Could you? Don't you have to explain why you took them off?"
"You're being insubordinate."
"This isn't class. And you aren't technically my professor 'til Christmastime."
"I gather you get dinged a lot as 'insubordinate.'"
"Nearly every other day when Dad can manage it. Was he always so biased toward the Slytherins?"
"He was when I had him."
"Figures, then. Except now he's being mean to their guys sometimes, lots of dings for 'distractedness' and 'staring off into space.'"
"He's afraid that they're checking out his baby girl."
"Don't I know it? I guess that's why he's decided that I need new clothes."
"That and you did storm out on the Gryffindors for teasing you."
"Oh, I was just sick of Mack and Donaghan being men. The Weasley boys too, y'know, I just got sick of being the only girl sitting there."
"They were ragging on those Muggle clothes, weren't they?"
"More like on the figure that's under them. They were also terribly amused when the new professor asked me to join him on a trip today."
"I didn't know that. I'm sorry they did that, then."
"It's not your fault everyone thinks I'll dig older men. Just 'cause Mum went off the deep end in seventh year doesn't mean I'll start banging professors now."
"So why did you mind me taking off your jeans that night?"
"Oh, I d'know, part of it was the way I took the postscript to your little note, and most of that was self-disgust for nodding off that way. That, and it was obvious you'd noticed a few things you shouldn't have."
"Just two. Nice legs you've got for a Seeker, girl."
"You didn't mind the- -nevermind. I give up."
"How did you know that I didn't unseam your pants?"
"I dreamed about it the whole night long afterwards. Guess I got a little disgusted with that part too."
"It's perfectly alright to have dreams like that, just so your mind knows what's being done to the outside part. Most stronger wizards have those, and you seem quite strong for your age and training time. You just unseamed both our clothes without a wand."
"So you think the dream was just letting me know what had gone on, then?"
"Absolutely, there's no other reason for it."
"Then how come I've had the same bloody dream ever since that night?" Julie was now standing facing Malfoy with eyes open. He was buttoning his black shirt up to mid-chest.
"Maybe hormones, or worrying about my class?"
"I told you, I only found out you were becoming a professor this morning. I'm not stupid, Malfoy, I know why I'm dreaming about you now." Draco froze under her gaze, knowing why himself. "So I know that what everyone says is wrong, just a little test to see if I still feel it."
Julie moved close to Malfoy and touched his arm. Instantly, she went from self-assured to more timid than before. She moved her hand very slowly up his arm to his shoulder then, and while she frightenedly tried to prove she did not feel for him, Malfoy made the biggest mistake in his life so far.
Kissing Donaghan was nothing like that, she knew.
Chapter Twelve: Word on the Owl Post
Dear Uncle Harry,
I have a bit of a problem I can't talk to Mum about, and I was wondering if you or Aunt Ginny might have a good idea or two to help me out. There's this guy I sort of fancy, totally undateable, but still a dish, only he's been a total boggart when we met last night. I sort of fell asleep in the Common Room, and so this bugger puts me in bed like a little kid, leaving a note with the most annoying postscript I have EVER heard, just to snipe at me because he's all Slytherinish. Any ideas on how to get back at him?
I'm sorry if this seems intolerably childish. How are the babies, do you think they can ride on a broomstick yet? Apparently Dad thinks they'll be old enough at seven months. Is he joking? Hope to see you at the Quidditch game with Hufflepuff.
-Julie S. Snape, Seeker, Gryffindor
P.S., Tim and Tom suggested I should sign my name that way. Is that correct?
Dear Uncle Ron,
How would you recommend ticking Malfoy off?
-Julie S. Snape, Seeker, Gryffindor
Dear Julie,
Sometimes guys can just be buggers when they like you a lot. I would suggest pretending to take the postscript literally, especially if by some chance he didn't mean to offend. I would also ask your mum what she thinks of him, as she does know a lot about guys and stuff. When I was your age she helped me ask my crush out, and look what happened. Uncle Harry says to write an equally nasty note, but I don't think he grasps the situation here.
Lily and (little) Hermione are both growing like weeds and starting to stand up. And I don't think your father was joking, as Harry's already given both of them rides on his Firebolt. Good luck in the match against Hufflepuff, we will all be there in the stands with your mum and dad!
Much love,
-Aunt Ginny
Dear Julie,
Ask him to hold your pet ferret a few minutes in your mum's presence. He'll fall apart like a house-elf with pension plan. You might also make some Muggle jokes he'll never get, around friends of yours who know full well what you mean by them. And if all else fails, ask my brothers for some aid at the joke shop. They'll know what to do. My two nephews will also have good ideas. I'll be up for the match against Hufflepuff with a surprise for your parents- well, you won't tell, will you Jules? I'll tell you. It's my girlfriend, the one I want to ask to marry me. I wrote Harry and Ginny about having met her four months ago, but I don't think they know that I love her yet. You'll like her; she's worked with kids all her life. Just one more secret I need you to keep, okay? My girlfriend's a Muggle. Does that seem weird?
Good luck against Hufflepuff, and save me a dance at the Halloween Ball, okay?
Ferrets rule!
-Uncle Ron
"Perfect," Julie observed smugly, tucking the letters in her robe pocket with her quill.
"What's perfect, Jules?" Tim asked.
"Have the Chudley Cannons beat the Wimbourne Wasps or something?" Tom looked hopefully at her, knowing Durmstrang was more likely to start a ballet club than the Cannons were to beat the Wasps this season. Julie gave them a look of profound mischief. "I know that look! Is that note from Uncle Ron?"
"Yes, the one is."
"Let us see!"
"Not this time, guys. It's about something personal, kind of odd. He did tell me how to get back at that guy who had pissed me off, though."
"Are you ever going to tell us who the bugger is?"
"Not likely. You'd tease me and beat him and everyone involved would be very sad."
"I bet it's Malgryevic."
"Or else that Flint ass is out for her blood again."
"Neither, guys, I can handle this on my own."
"Julie, you're our little coz."
"Let us help."
"I'm only five months younger, that does not constitute little by any means!"
"You're a girl, though, so we're going to be protective."
"Why don't you let us take the bugger out for you?"
Julie sighed heavily and shot them each a somewhat pained expression.
"I don't think you could do it without making him very ticked, and I don't want revenge so much as just returns." Suddenly both Weasley boys grew quiet.
"It's Donaghan, isn't it, Starcatcher?"
"That's why you guys aren't dating anymore?"
"No! Donaghan and I decided to be friends. The fellow I'm mad at is a peasantish Slytherin with a complete lack of morals and civility. A wretched little snake with no sense of propriety or even- -oh, hi, Malfoy." The blond gentleman had come up behind her in the Great Hall and was holding up the book she'd found for him to read. Julie went red as the Weasleys' hair. "Was the book alright?"
"Very good. I've been thinking about a trip to the Muggle library in London, though, try to get things from a non-wizarding point of view. Do you know what street it's on?"
"It? There are over seventeen libraries in the West Side alone."
"Do you know where there's a good one, though?"
"Several, which part of London are you thinking in?"
"Y'see, I've only been in the wizard parts. I was sort of wondering if you'd like to go with me."
"Okay…if my parents say I can."
"Can you Apparate yet?"
"Don't know what it is."
"Oh. We'll fly, then, I guess. I'll go ask your dad and mum right now, then." He vanished toward the teachers' table, leaving Tim and Tom in a state of absolute gobsmackedness. Julie gave them sheepish looks and they burst into laughter.
"Did that just happen?"
"You're going to Muggle London with the new Charms professor? You are just like your mum with a vengeance, Jule!"
"I am not! And he's only my father's friend- -what d'you mean he's the new Charms professor?"
"Professor Flitwick's retiring at Christmastime. Didn't you hear the announcement McGonagall made?"
"No! When was that?"
"Two days ago. Where were you?"
"I must have been…library." The Weasleys shrugged and went back to their plates of roast beef, even as Julie was blushing fiercely from the memory of whom she had been there with.
"Figures you skipped dinner the past two days."
"We had the best kippers the other night," Tom observed.
"Kippers? I skipped it on purpose. Call me crazy, but I'm more the chips with vinegar fish-eater."
"Right on, sister," Mack agreed, sitting down across from them, minutes late. "What did Professor Pureblood want with Starcatcher?"
"He asked her out," Tom announced.
"Fancies her, I reckon, hot-blood snake."
"You guys!" Julie was not pleased with the conversation or her two friends. Mack just grinned and gave her a jesting look.
"I don't blame the git, she looks like a winning goal." Face flaming, Julie stood up in rage and disgust with him. "See what I mean, Weasleys, dig that chest. And those frisky little Muggle jeans-"
"You shut up," Donaghan ordered, wand level with MacAndrew's tender neck. He had swept up like a wrathful bird to defend Julie from the filthy mouth of their friend Mack, who nodded and looked as if he had swallowed a flobberworm. "Apologize."
"I'm sorry, Starcatcher."
It was too late. The Seeker had fled the hall. From the end of the table Chloe Davies got up to follow her. Over Malfoy's shoulder, Hermione and Severus saw her bolt. The Slytherin saw their faces and turned around.
Faster than Hermione or Severus, Malfoy had wrung the story out of the Weasley boys. He made short work of them all, taking his first five points from Gryffindor for MacAndrew and then giving Donaghan ten for his chivalry. Two minutes had him back at the teachers' table.
"They were teasing her about those Muggle clothes she wears. Are they the only ones she has besides her wizard robes?"
"Well…I think so, actually." Hermione was shocked that she had somehow forgotten that. Severus gave Malfoy a look and a parchment scrap.
"Here's a check out of our Gringotts vault. While you're in London, Julie can find some proper things."
"Well, uh, Sev- -uh," Malfoy stumbled, uncertain how the phrase the problem he had with this. "I haven't the faintest clue how to shop with a girl."
"It's just like with a guy, except girls take it really seriously and ask your opinion on everything," Hermione clarified. Draco looked pale as Severus added his own part.
"You also have to watch that she doesn't buy something outrageous like a skirt that doesn't go to her knees at least."
"Severus! She's fifteen and it's nearly two-thousand nineteen here. She doesn't have to dress like a nun, you know."
"I don't want her frisking about in those little pleated numbers the girls wore in your class so often."
"Like they weren't just as bad when you were in school, too. The dress code recommends skirts, there's really no reason for them not to be shorter or somewhat tight."
"At least Julie has the sense God gave a stump and wears jeans around the satyrs that I see in class."
"That may be because she doesn't own a skirt. Have you noticed how much she sticks out that way?"
"Wouldn't she anyway?"
"Not that way! Every other girl in Hogwarts wears a skirt most days, it's only Julie in bluejeans and patched-up shirts."
"Why doesn't she wear your old ones, Hermione?" Draco asked, afraid that a fight might break out with them.
"She can barely fit into my old school robes from seventh-year because she's so tall and her arms are as long as her father's now."
"And the skirts you wore were really quite ridiculous."
"You didn't seem to mind that when I wore them though," Hermione pointed out mischievously, making Draco and Severus blush dark red.
"Do you think I want her doing some of the things that you did in them, dear?"
Now it was Hermione's turn to go brilliant red. Draco bit his lip to keep from laughing at the both of them.
"I think that the Malfoy good taste can be trusted here."
"That's why I asked you to supervise. If I asked Ginny Weasley she'd come back dressed like Britney Spears or maybe worse."
"And you know I'm too busy with N.E.W.T.s to write."
"I think you'll have to get her first dress robes, dear. I'm certain Draco can find school clothes that aren't so-"
"Flamboyant?"
"Tight?" Hermione and Malfoy looked at one another. "I think you can trust me," Draco observed.
"Alright, Malfoy, but no riding crops or garter belts."
Severus looked quite pale at his wife's joking remark, and he gave Draco a firm look of 'ignore that,' before noticing that Malfoy was pale as well. Except it wasn't in horror at what she'd said, it was in fear of what Severus might do to him if he knew that he'd taken her jeans off once.
"Can I expect you both back here at dinnertime?"
"Sure, we're going to fly because Julie can't Apparate."
"Good, good. She'll like that."
"Flying from Hogwarts to London?" Hermione asked in shock.
"It's quite usual, her broom can go quite fast, you know."
"But- -but airplanes, and helicopters…large pigeons, she could get killed doing that!"
"I assure you, our daughter is capable."
"Alright."
Judging by her expression, Severus knew Hermione would not relax a second all the whole day long. Draco reassured her that Julie was very good, and after making him promise to be very careful, she allowed him to go and find Julie.
"Are you alright?" Severus asked her very tenderly. It was the tone of voice that almost always made her want to drop everything and just hug him, which for the sake of where they were she did not do right then. "I can trust Draco to watch over his honorary niece, surely."
"She's never really taken to him as an uncle, though."
"I know, she only calls him 'Malfoy' just like you do, dear." Severus scratched the side of his head a bit above his ear. "Must either be an influence or just genetic dislike of blond people."
"You don't think she'd-"
"Definitely not. I'd trust Draco as if he were my own son- -not that way!"
"That is a profoundly frightening thought, isn't it?"
"Very. And it's hypocritical of me to even suspect that it might happen."
"Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, and what we did was very unusual."
"It turned out nicely, though, didn't it?"
"Very, Professor, you done with this?"
"Quite. Should we just go back to our classrooms or sit and chat?"
"Well, one of our classrooms sounds interesting."
Severus gave her a sidelong grin and kissed her on her left cheek.
"Nice as you are, I hope our daughter doesn't take after you that much. Meet me in the dungeons?"
"Five minutes."
"Fairy droppings," Draco attempted, having forgotten what password Julie'd used two days ago. The Fat Lady gave him a look of profound disgust. "Fairy rear ends, fairy shoelaces? I know it was something with fairies, can't you give me half credit?" The Fat Lady giggled and shook her head. "Fairy…tails?"
"Right, dear, try writing it on your arm."
The portrait swung aside and Malfoy sighed in relief to gain entry at last. Little Chloe Davies walked right up to him at the door. It was plain from her long veela hair whose daughter she was, and Malfoy was stunned by her bravery.
"You aren't supposed to know the password, sir."
"You aren't supposed to talk back to professors, miss."
"You're Julie's dad's friend, aren't you? She's upstairs in her room if you want to see her."
"Thank you, Miss Davies." Malfoy started toward the steps to the fifth- years' rooms, then paused and remembered he wasn't supposed to have ever been there before. "Could you show me where her room is?"
"Of course, Professor Malfoy, it's right up here." Chloe led him right to the familiar door, which today had a different picture on it. Instead of a reproduced Muggle album cover, Julie had put up a wizarding picture of what looked like a long, skinny rabbit with shorter ears. A ferret. Malfoy winced at the memory of being one and realized he might have offended her. Would anyone have told her that little anecdote? Her best friends were two Weasleys, he remembered, so she could probably recite it now from memory. He had definitely offended young Starcatcher.
"Julie?" he inquired, knocking while Miss Davies watched protectively.
"Come in!" a cheery voice announced, and he did so with Chloe behind him.
Julie was holding a large ferret in her hands, clearly a pet, as it nuzzled her. Malfoy went a little paler and Chloe smiled at them.
"You feelin' better, Julie?"
"Oh, much better, thanks, Chlo'. I was thinking about what you said, maybe we can stop by Hogsmeade tomorrow night?"
"I'm only in first year."
"Damn, I forgot. Well, I'll ask the Marauders to help me out." Draco could have sworn that the two exchanged a secret glance. "I'm almost ready, Malfoy, could you hold Anthony a minute here?"
Malfoy found himself holding the ferret, which seemed a little more interested in it's mistress than the blond-haired man holding it. He started to say something, only to see that the ferret was looking into his eyes almost humanly –very odd.
"Nice ferret…Anthony," he mumbled, only to have the ferret abruptly dart down his shirt and circle around his pant leg. It loped across the floor like a spotted streak, climbing Julie's leg right up to her shoulder then.
"Oh, sorry, Malfoy, he's trained to come back to me. If somebody says his name nervously when they're holding him, he does that, which is just what he's trained to do. Obedient things, ferrets, aren't they? Shozo yubi hito de!!"
At those words Julie gave it, the ferret ran back to Malfoy and began to run around his boots. Draco stood frozen to the spot, terrified, even as Chloe giggled at him quietly. "Kata de kudasai!" Julie called sharply. Seconds had Anthony back on her shoulder.
"Was that Japanese you command him in?"
"Sure, he's an Edo Spotted Ferret, right?"
"So you told him to 'polish the person's shoes'?"
"Yeah, it looks like he did an okay job, too."
"Well, how come he ran to me and not Chloe?"
"Because he isn't stupid. If I meant Chloe I'd tell him 'shozo yubi Chloe de.' He knows who my friends are- -oh, there he goes."
Chloe picked up the ferret from at her feet and returned him to Julie with a mischievous smile.
"I'd better be off to go study, now. See you later, Julie, professor Malfoy."
The instant the half-French first-year was gone, Julie looked more nervous than ever in Malfoy's presence alone. She put Anthony into his cage and gave him a treat, still watching the blond-haired man in her room.
"I just heard today that you're going to be our new Charms professor at Christmastime."
"Yeah, I'm giving up Aurory for teaching now."
"So long as you don't start a dueling club, I think you'll do a great job with it."
"Wouldn't you like to learn dueling from the best?"
"I just got my teeth to a normal size, thank you."
Malfoy smirked a little at her wry sarcasm. If nothing else, she could be funny sometimes.
"Your parents told me to get you some clothes as well. I've got a slip for their Gringotts vault, you should be able to figure out what you want."
"Clothes? But I've got clothes."
"They're Muggle ones."
"Up 'til recently I lived among Muggles. And there doesn't seem to be much difference from the wizard kind."
"Well, most girls here wear school skirts and stuff like that; and those jeans are just so…tight, y'know?"
"I know you know for sure just how tight they are." Malfoy knew she was definitely ticked at him. "Did you have a hard time with the buttons in the dark that night?"
"Look, I didn't want you to sleep in tight clothes that way, you might wake up really sore from the seams of them."
"I've slept in tight jeans before, Malfoy. Tell me; why not unseam them with your wand to take them off of me? 'Ravelus Stiticus' should serve that end perfectly."
She wasn't even touching her wand, but the words of the spell made her clothes fall apart where they hung on her. Malfoy's were just as quick, falling off into pieces around his feet. Both Seekers leapt to opposite sides of the four-poster.
"How the hell did you do that?"
"I've no idea!"
"The counterspell's 'reparo,' try it without your wand at our clothes."
"Okay…reparo?" The clothes resewed instantly.
"You haven't got your wand taped to your arm or something?"
"No, it's right there in my robe pocket with my quill and the letters I got today."
"You didn't touch your wand to do those spells?"
"No, Malfoy!"
They were both on the ground with only heads above the level of the tall, wide bed. "Have you got your wand?"
"No, it's in my robes, too."
"Damn!" Fortunately Chloe had had the sense to close the door behind her. "I'm going to try and get them and throw them over there, so shut your eyes or I'll tell Dad you were in here."
"I'll tell your dad you were naked, too."
"You wouldn't be that stupid."
"Would I now? Your dad's known me as long as he's known your mum. You're a dangerous almost-sixteen-year-old, plus you are your mother's daughter in a certain sense."
"Are you saying you don't want to close your eyes, Malfoy?" She was teasing him horribly and he felt his face redden further at that comment. Squinting his eyes tight, he also realized he was interested in how she looked. This was much to long a wait for her to throw the clothes.
"Got your eyes shut, too, Starcatcher?"
"I'm putting my own clothes on first, thank you. Haven't you noticed it's cold in here?"
"Yes, actually I have. It is very cold." 'Not cold enough, though,' he thought somewhat ruefully. "Have you at least got your shirt on yet?"
"I'm completely dressed, now you're the naked one."
"You're doing this for revenge, aren't you?"
"No, I just like naked men in my room. Sometimes I can get as many as six at a time to crouch in the corner and shiver there. Amuses me no end in wintertime."
"You are the sickest half-Mudblood I've ever known."
"Oh, a half-Mudblood? That's a new one. Doesn't 'Mudblood' mean your parents are Muggles? Both of mine are rather gifted wizards who would probably find this whole story to be quite the situational comedy."
"Did you do this on purpose?"
"No, I didn't, actually. I think it's funny, though, now that I'm dressed and you're not, you sexy bitch."
"What?!"
"I d'know, just thought it might get a rise from you. Here's your clothes and I have got my eyes shut now."
"You damned well better. I could take every point Gryffindor's got, you know."
"Could you? Don't you have to explain why you took them off?"
"You're being insubordinate."
"This isn't class. And you aren't technically my professor 'til Christmastime."
"I gather you get dinged a lot as 'insubordinate.'"
"Nearly every other day when Dad can manage it. Was he always so biased toward the Slytherins?"
"He was when I had him."
"Figures, then. Except now he's being mean to their guys sometimes, lots of dings for 'distractedness' and 'staring off into space.'"
"He's afraid that they're checking out his baby girl."
"Don't I know it? I guess that's why he's decided that I need new clothes."
"That and you did storm out on the Gryffindors for teasing you."
"Oh, I was just sick of Mack and Donaghan being men. The Weasley boys too, y'know, I just got sick of being the only girl sitting there."
"They were ragging on those Muggle clothes, weren't they?"
"More like on the figure that's under them. They were also terribly amused when the new professor asked me to join him on a trip today."
"I didn't know that. I'm sorry they did that, then."
"It's not your fault everyone thinks I'll dig older men. Just 'cause Mum went off the deep end in seventh year doesn't mean I'll start banging professors now."
"So why did you mind me taking off your jeans that night?"
"Oh, I d'know, part of it was the way I took the postscript to your little note, and most of that was self-disgust for nodding off that way. That, and it was obvious you'd noticed a few things you shouldn't have."
"Just two. Nice legs you've got for a Seeker, girl."
"You didn't mind the- -nevermind. I give up."
"How did you know that I didn't unseam your pants?"
"I dreamed about it the whole night long afterwards. Guess I got a little disgusted with that part too."
"It's perfectly alright to have dreams like that, just so your mind knows what's being done to the outside part. Most stronger wizards have those, and you seem quite strong for your age and training time. You just unseamed both our clothes without a wand."
"So you think the dream was just letting me know what had gone on, then?"
"Absolutely, there's no other reason for it."
"Then how come I've had the same bloody dream ever since that night?" Julie was now standing facing Malfoy with eyes open. He was buttoning his black shirt up to mid-chest.
"Maybe hormones, or worrying about my class?"
"I told you, I only found out you were becoming a professor this morning. I'm not stupid, Malfoy, I know why I'm dreaming about you now." Draco froze under her gaze, knowing why himself. "So I know that what everyone says is wrong, just a little test to see if I still feel it."
Julie moved close to Malfoy and touched his arm. Instantly, she went from self-assured to more timid than before. She moved her hand very slowly up his arm to his shoulder then, and while she frightenedly tried to prove she did not feel for him, Malfoy made the biggest mistake in his life so far.
Kissing Donaghan was nothing like that, she knew.