When she reached home, she found the whole group gathered around the couch,
upon which Spike was spread out. He was quiet now, no longer moaning and
screaming at the phantoms that tortured him. To Buffy, he looked blissful
and serene, more beautiful than she had ever seen him before, and her heart
reached out to him. But it was not time to fix Spike yet, it was time for
action.
"OK Buffy, so you want to tell us what the HELL that was?" asked Anya. "Because I've met a good many demons in my day, and nothing ever felt as evil as that before."
Buffy, Xander, and Willow exchanged a look. They knew exactly what it was. Only a few years ago their friend Angel had faced this very same creature, and almost lost his battle with it, had it not been for Buffy. They had faced the Bringers, they had fought to free themselves and the world from the threat of the First Evil. They had won, for a day, but they knew in their heart of hearts that they had only delayed the First's works, not stopped them. And here it was again, ready to take down the world.
"Anya, Tara, have you ever heard of a thing called the First?"
"No."
"The First is basically evil incarnate. It controls all the evil in the world. Its thing is, or was, balance.making sure that as long there is good in the world, there is evil too. The last time we faced it, it was doing the exact same thing to Angel as we found it doing to Spike: taking a haunting form in order to make him hurt me. But something feels different this time. I don't think it has the same agenda as before."
Willow looked at Spike. "Do you think that he knows anything? He was in that crypt with it for a long time. Maybe he'll remember something."
As if he'd heard, Spike suddenly stirred in his unconscious sleep and began to moan pathetically. "I don't want to hurt her," he was saying. "Not Buffy. Never Buffy. I love Buffy." Slow tears began flowing down his face as the Scoobies looked on in horror. Spike's body began twisting and turning, wracked with pain. He clawed at his own face and bit his lip, drawing blood again and again, never satisfied with the pain he was inflicting on himself as a self-punishment. Buffy darted around Dawn to climb on top of Spike and restrain him. She shook him hard until Spike woke up. His eyes were still cloudy though, and he didn't see her. Instead he tilted his head to the ceiling and howled.
"Do something!" yelled Buffy, and Tara and Willow exchanged a look.
"I can't do this alone," said Tara. "But it's too dangerous for you. You can't do magic, not anymore."
Willow reached over, and slowly took Tara's hand. "I couldn't do it alone either," she said. "But maybe, if you just help me, hold me.we can do this together."
Tara smiled at the girl with whom she'd shared months of love and trust, and knew they could make this work. It would be hard, but it could work. And so she clasped Willow's hand harder, and they concentrated all their healing magicks at Spike's twisting body. From their two hands a bolt of white light came shooting out and hit Spike square in the forehead. It hissed, and Spike screamed bloody murder, but then the light blinked out, and the screams stopped. Spike's body went limp, and he didn't move any more.
Xander looked at the two witches. "What'd you do?"
Willow explained. "There was some force controlling him, centered somewhere in his body. He was basically being mentally tortured. Our spell concentrated on only that one area of his body, and burned away the spell inside him. He's free from the First now, at least from that particular torture." Then she looked at Buffy. "Should we take him upstairs?"
Buffy nodded. "I'll do it."
************************************************************************
Once upstairs, she lay Spike down on her bed. She got up, looked at him softly, and then turned to leave and go back downstairs. Before she reached the door, however, Spike stirred again, and sat up slowly, sore but free from his eternal headache. "Buffy?" he whispered.
"I'm here," she said. She turned back, and sat at the edge of the bed.
"Is it gone?" Spike asked. He was almost afraid to hope. It could still be lurking, in the shadow of the bed or in Buffy's closet. It could be lying in wait, or it could even be Buffy here sitting in front of him. "Are you it? Are you going to hurt me?" The tears started again. "Please make it stop."
He expected her to either start haunting him again, or if it was indeed the real Buffy to leave him in disgust like she always had. But instead she reached out a hand in order to take his. "Who are you?" he asked, in shock.
"Spike, it's me. Believe it or not, it's me. I've been trying to tell you for a few days now.I found your ring."
He went red and turned away. "Oh.that. It was just a hope. It doesn't mean anything, really it doesn't, and you don't have to-"
"I don't have to accept it, I know. But it does mean something, Spike. It means everything. It means you're sincere about everything I've doubted you on, and I shouldn't have. You really.you truly.you love me."
"You know I do, Buffy. And I wish you did as well. But you've made it quite clear that you don't feel the same way. It hurts, it hurts more than I thought I ever could hurt. But I have to accept that, you know? If I really love you, I have to learn to let you go. You'll never feel the same way."
"Spike.these days are going by so fast. I don't know what's coming, now that we have the First to deal with. But I don't want the world to end without letting you know how I feel. I've been messed up. I've been looking for ways to feel, and I went about it the wrong way. I've been coming to you for all the wrong reasons.I've been using you to feel, but instead I just became emptier. But if I could just kiss you.one simple kiss, full of love (yes, love), and it could be returned to me the same way, then that is all the feeling I've ever wanted. Spike?"
"Buffy?" he whispered, barely able to get out her name. She was being sincere, he could feel it with every inch of his body. His skin tingled. This was different from every other time she'd paid her visits to him. This was pure, this was true, this was.
"-love you."
"What?" He couldn't have heard her right.
"I love you."
He heard it, clear as anything. And he believed her. She was right, wasn't she? Only one way to be sure. Could he kiss her softly, tenderly, and show his love for her? He leaned forward as she did the same. He ran his hand through her soft hair, and turned his head to the side. Slowly their lips came together as their eyelids came down, and they sank into the kiss. There, in the dark of Buffy's room, they shared their first true kiss, not of need, but of mutual love for one another.
"OK Buffy, so you want to tell us what the HELL that was?" asked Anya. "Because I've met a good many demons in my day, and nothing ever felt as evil as that before."
Buffy, Xander, and Willow exchanged a look. They knew exactly what it was. Only a few years ago their friend Angel had faced this very same creature, and almost lost his battle with it, had it not been for Buffy. They had faced the Bringers, they had fought to free themselves and the world from the threat of the First Evil. They had won, for a day, but they knew in their heart of hearts that they had only delayed the First's works, not stopped them. And here it was again, ready to take down the world.
"Anya, Tara, have you ever heard of a thing called the First?"
"No."
"The First is basically evil incarnate. It controls all the evil in the world. Its thing is, or was, balance.making sure that as long there is good in the world, there is evil too. The last time we faced it, it was doing the exact same thing to Angel as we found it doing to Spike: taking a haunting form in order to make him hurt me. But something feels different this time. I don't think it has the same agenda as before."
Willow looked at Spike. "Do you think that he knows anything? He was in that crypt with it for a long time. Maybe he'll remember something."
As if he'd heard, Spike suddenly stirred in his unconscious sleep and began to moan pathetically. "I don't want to hurt her," he was saying. "Not Buffy. Never Buffy. I love Buffy." Slow tears began flowing down his face as the Scoobies looked on in horror. Spike's body began twisting and turning, wracked with pain. He clawed at his own face and bit his lip, drawing blood again and again, never satisfied with the pain he was inflicting on himself as a self-punishment. Buffy darted around Dawn to climb on top of Spike and restrain him. She shook him hard until Spike woke up. His eyes were still cloudy though, and he didn't see her. Instead he tilted his head to the ceiling and howled.
"Do something!" yelled Buffy, and Tara and Willow exchanged a look.
"I can't do this alone," said Tara. "But it's too dangerous for you. You can't do magic, not anymore."
Willow reached over, and slowly took Tara's hand. "I couldn't do it alone either," she said. "But maybe, if you just help me, hold me.we can do this together."
Tara smiled at the girl with whom she'd shared months of love and trust, and knew they could make this work. It would be hard, but it could work. And so she clasped Willow's hand harder, and they concentrated all their healing magicks at Spike's twisting body. From their two hands a bolt of white light came shooting out and hit Spike square in the forehead. It hissed, and Spike screamed bloody murder, but then the light blinked out, and the screams stopped. Spike's body went limp, and he didn't move any more.
Xander looked at the two witches. "What'd you do?"
Willow explained. "There was some force controlling him, centered somewhere in his body. He was basically being mentally tortured. Our spell concentrated on only that one area of his body, and burned away the spell inside him. He's free from the First now, at least from that particular torture." Then she looked at Buffy. "Should we take him upstairs?"
Buffy nodded. "I'll do it."
************************************************************************
Once upstairs, she lay Spike down on her bed. She got up, looked at him softly, and then turned to leave and go back downstairs. Before she reached the door, however, Spike stirred again, and sat up slowly, sore but free from his eternal headache. "Buffy?" he whispered.
"I'm here," she said. She turned back, and sat at the edge of the bed.
"Is it gone?" Spike asked. He was almost afraid to hope. It could still be lurking, in the shadow of the bed or in Buffy's closet. It could be lying in wait, or it could even be Buffy here sitting in front of him. "Are you it? Are you going to hurt me?" The tears started again. "Please make it stop."
He expected her to either start haunting him again, or if it was indeed the real Buffy to leave him in disgust like she always had. But instead she reached out a hand in order to take his. "Who are you?" he asked, in shock.
"Spike, it's me. Believe it or not, it's me. I've been trying to tell you for a few days now.I found your ring."
He went red and turned away. "Oh.that. It was just a hope. It doesn't mean anything, really it doesn't, and you don't have to-"
"I don't have to accept it, I know. But it does mean something, Spike. It means everything. It means you're sincere about everything I've doubted you on, and I shouldn't have. You really.you truly.you love me."
"You know I do, Buffy. And I wish you did as well. But you've made it quite clear that you don't feel the same way. It hurts, it hurts more than I thought I ever could hurt. But I have to accept that, you know? If I really love you, I have to learn to let you go. You'll never feel the same way."
"Spike.these days are going by so fast. I don't know what's coming, now that we have the First to deal with. But I don't want the world to end without letting you know how I feel. I've been messed up. I've been looking for ways to feel, and I went about it the wrong way. I've been coming to you for all the wrong reasons.I've been using you to feel, but instead I just became emptier. But if I could just kiss you.one simple kiss, full of love (yes, love), and it could be returned to me the same way, then that is all the feeling I've ever wanted. Spike?"
"Buffy?" he whispered, barely able to get out her name. She was being sincere, he could feel it with every inch of his body. His skin tingled. This was different from every other time she'd paid her visits to him. This was pure, this was true, this was.
"-love you."
"What?" He couldn't have heard her right.
"I love you."
He heard it, clear as anything. And he believed her. She was right, wasn't she? Only one way to be sure. Could he kiss her softly, tenderly, and show his love for her? He leaned forward as she did the same. He ran his hand through her soft hair, and turned his head to the side. Slowly their lips came together as their eyelids came down, and they sank into the kiss. There, in the dark of Buffy's room, they shared their first true kiss, not of need, but of mutual love for one another.