A/N: And here are the answers to those cliffhangers. I'm sorry, but something in my sick little mind makes me keep writing them. Sorry. Oh, and Cassondra, I'm going to put in little 'smut, violence, etc. next chapter' warnings from now on, if there are any. Mainly I upped the rating for language, as Julie's starting to let loose the nether region of her vocabulary a bit more, y'know, plus minor nudity (the patch shirt!) and here's a secret: I technically have a similar problem with NC-17s, but I figure if I wrote it, then…That and it only takes a click on the pop-up window to read it, even if you are technically underage. I say technical because chronological age does not always square with intellectual or physical age, you know? If anyone could tell me what they think my intellectual age is, I'd appreciate it, because my chronological one is ridiculous. By the way, the patch shirt and purple trenchcoat are clothes that I actually have. And my boyfriend is blond and taller as well as older than me. (grins.)Here you go.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: All Lies and Jest…
Harry looked as if he might drop dead at any second from the shock of Julie transforming from and then kissing his former enemy. It was even worse than the time he'd found out about Hermione and Severus, because this was his niece and this was Malfoy.
"Uncle Harry!" Julie cried joyfully, acting for all the world as if she were pleased to see him, in spite of what Harry'd just seen her do. Malfoy, however, looked as embarrassed as one would expect him to.
"Did you see what Malfoy did? That was so nice of you to follow me-"
And Julie covered her tail the only way she could think, leaning up and snogging Harry exactly as she had Draco. Tripe and three-quarters if it wasn't weird!
"I was going to fire her as well with the Polyjuice Potion-"
"Tell me, Miss Snape, did you make that potion alone or with some help?" Draco asked, realizing what her excuse would be.
"All alone, why?" She leaned over and gave him a good long one, which he knew to interrupt and act as if it were a side effect of some error in the potion. Julie acted as if she didn't understand what he was getting at or even if she noticed she was kissing people right and left.
"Because I think you might have made an error in brewing it, unless your French friend has been influencing you a little too much."
"Am I not speaking English?" Julie asked.
"That would depend on your definition of speech, Julie. Considering you just snogged Harry and I, it's a damn good thing I got to Skeeter before you did."
The look of embarrased shock on Julie's face convinced Harry that there was no danger of a second-generation tendency, especially as Malfoy was being openly antagonistic to her about it.
"I would take you home to your father right now, in fact, except that would be a very bad thing for you. Too bad your little Weasley bootlickers aren't here, they probably dream of you being in such a state every night. I suggest you also stay far away from the Gryffindor locker room lest those micks and scotchers learn just how well you catch after all."
Julie began to cry quietly and glare at him. Harry hugged her reassuringly, making sure to keep her head well below the level of his shoulder, just in case.
"Malfoy, quit it. It's a mistake, there's no reason to make her cry."
"Alright," Malfoy said grudgingly. "I'm sorry I said those things. But do you have any idea what your parents would think if they heard you'd been kissing me? "
"I think I'd be back in St. Mungo's and you'd be on the run from my father."
"I think that potion has made your sarcasm even worse."
"I think that you should stop being such a prat, Malfoy."
"I think you should learn to respect your elders, you insubordinate chit!"
"I think you should get your patrician ferret arse out of my-"
"I think you are both out of control!" Harry broke it up, physically stepping in between the two. "Get your brooms, we're going back to Hogwarts now. You are in a great deal of trouble for leaving, Julie, and Professor Malfoy's insults don't change that, I'm afraid. You, Malfoy, need to learn how to speak to a lady before you say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Understood?"
"Yeah," they grumbled, like guilty little kids who'd been caught scuffling. The instant Harry and they took off for Hogwarts, however, Malfoy shot Julie a smile that proved he was incredibly impressed with her ability to make up excuses on the spot without looking guilty and act exactly as expected in a lying way. He hadn't seen such convincing fake tears since his mother did the same deception to Voldemort. Julie returned his smile with a humble 'yes, darling, I know I'm a goddess' look. It was so endearing that Draco actually sighed from just seeing her.
Draco Malfoy, lovesick. Skeeter had been right about Julie's bringing a drastic change. He sighed again as poetry began to form in his mind and song lyrics made the tip of his tongue itch. Were there even words for how he felt right now? There had to be.
Harry flew in front, occasionally playing as he maneuvered the Firebolt. His honorary niece joined him, as did Draco eventually, and three Seekers wound up laughing in midair somehow. He was actually just as pleased with Draco as Julie was, the excitement of being able to tell Ginny that Rita Skeeter had been fired made him feel giddy and want to celebrate by flying games. Even if it was Malfoy, his old enemy.
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"Severus, you can come back in," Madam Pomfrey said, opening the door in the nick of time before what looked like a giant black bat swept past her with Firebolt speed and Bludger-careless force.
"Hermione?" he asked, near out of his mind with fear. "Are you alright?"
She was actually perched on the bed, grinning and practically radiating happiness.
"Of course, dear, it's just I've some interesting news." The look she gave him confirmed the thought that sprang immediately to his mind. There was a second of fond surprise where he could not say a single word, and then he kissed her with all the affection and joy the world could hold in one minute. They remained blissfully and completely happy for a brief while, until they realized exactly who the first to know was going to have to be.
"She's going to be thrilled," Severus was certain.
"Does she want a brother or a sister, though, is my question." Hermione gave him a look that indicated Julie's opinion was not the only one she wanted on that crucial topic. Sev smiled.
"I want a child with your sense of right and goodness, and perhaps your eyes. Boy or girl, I'm not really sure if I've even a preference."
"That's sweet of you. I know you must fancy a boy who can play Quidditch-"
"Julie can, can't she? A girl's quite nice. No matter which gender the poor dear is, though, he-or-she's bound to spend his formative years under big sister's wing."
"Wing is right, dear. Little Whoever's going to have broomstick and car rides before his-or-her first birthday."
"Car?"
"She's sixteen in January, don't you think she needs to learn to drive the Muggle car?"
"What for? We only use it to visit your parents and for outings in the Muggle world… which Julie is going to like, won't she?"
"Definitely. I'll teach her to drive, though, you taught her to fly."
"Obviously, I don't know how, myself." Severus stroked Hermione's hair and smiled. "What do you suppose we should name Whoever?"
"I don't know!" Hermione replied in surprise, having clearly not thought of this before. "I'd immediately think of Ron or Harry if it's a boy, or maybe even Draco if you do insist, but if it's a girl either Molly or Virginia could be nice."
"How about Albus for a boy?" Severus asked. "And we could name a girl after your mother, perhaps?"
"Still trying to curry favor, you Slytherin? 'Sarah Snape' sounds somewhat exceedingly over-alliterative. But then there's middle names… what about godparents?"
"Dumbledore, I think, might do very well. Hold on a second!" Severus had thought of something rather bad. "Did we think to give Julie any when she showed up?"
"Merlin's beard! We haven't… you think Dumbledore?"
"I think he would be pleased by that tremendously. And Ginny would be an excellent godmother."
"You think so? Has she killed a dragon lately?"
"No, but she's the smartest so far of the whole Weasley clan. She or her mother would be good choices, I'm going by intellect."
"Figures. You are an insufferable teacher sometimes, you know that?" She kissed Severus again and petted his arm. They were sitting up side-by-side on the bed now, oblivious to the day's schedule or rooms outside. "I'm worried about Julie going off to kill Rita Skeeter, though."
"I don't think she'll kill her. That would be too kind."
"What do you think Julie'd do for revenge, then, Sev?"
"Challenge her to a duel. She is immune to curse magic."
"But Skeeter knows that."
"She'd forget if honor was involved against what looked like a fifteen-year-old upstart witch. Even if Julie looks frightening with that eyepatch. Do you know why she put that white streak in her hair?"
"Tim Weasley was practicing the Follicus Rechromus charm and she liked the streak. There's a good number of magical females with white streaks in Muggle literature."
"I remember that. It's because Morgan le Fay had one. It isn't good, though, because if there was ever a dark witch, it was Ms. Le Fay. The students are going to make her life a living hell. As if she needed that on top of everything."
"I'm sure Harry, Neville and you can straighten that mess out. Especially Harry, he went through it in his second year."
"I remember. I was the worst part of all of it, wasn't I?"
"No, I think Millicent Bulstrode was the worst of it. There's a reason nobody punished Julie for threatening her son."
"Aside from the whole broken leg, hands, jaw and teeth affair?"
"I'm going to make that Grudgett's Potion class a living hell. And Matt Flint has some damn nerve, if you ask me, Severus."
"Now, now, you knew he fancied her. And living hell in classes is my job."
"Then it's about time I started constructive plagiarism, dear. Nothing over-the-top, just nastier than my usual."
"The time Neville told his class they couldn't eat the Squiffin bush was nastier than your usual. You're almost as sickeningly nice as that Lockhart was."
"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
"By the way, 'Gilderoy Snape' is a profound non-option, dear."
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Wormtail reached the end of the mousehole into Julie's room, then timidly looked about to make sure the place was uninhabited. Seeing noone there, he transformed back into the fifty-two-year-old sniveler. The stereo was in the corner next to Julie's wardrobe and trunk, both somewhat empty things. He opened the lid of the turntable and took a new LP from it's sleeve for her to find. Having gotten a man in a Muggle pub to explain how a jukebox worked, he had gathered the method of putting a vinyl record on to play, and had also divined that Muggle vinyl scratched easily. Wormtail handled the round black thing carefully, drawing out by it's edges and putting it onto the round part of the turntable. He did not put the needle onto the groove. Instead he closed the lid and put the sleeve with Julie's other ones.
There were about twenty altogether, and thirteen of the ones she had were by the Moody Blues. The one he added was their latest, an incredibly difficult gift as vinyl records had ceased to be produced. Wormtail had to take Polyjuice Potion to look like a wizard who wasn't eternally connected to Voldemort, buy a Muggle CD, which was a hard thing for someone who didn't know squat about Muggle bands, and then have it transferred bag and baggage to vinyl format at a wizard music store in Diagon Alley. Fortunately, the long red hair he had found in the barbershop had turned him into a very cool-looking fellow with a ponytail, exactly the kind of wizard who'd be interested in odd Muggle rock music. The man in the record store had actually called him by the longhair's name, which he didn't remember now but thought would be useful. It was a pity he didn't have the advanced form of Polyjuice Potion that put you into your subject's favorite suit of clothes, but his own plain if slightly shabby robes had worked alright. They hadn't fit, as the redhead was taller and thinner than he, but judging by the way the man at the record store treated him, he was a little less well possessed than say, the Longbottoms. Not precisely poor, but sometimes a little tight between paychecks. He had saved enough of the hair to use the face again, so things like this were things that he might need to know later.
Wormtail was certain the Dark Lady would like this gift. He wrote a note similar to the one he had left with the forty-five, except this time included the promise to serve her in any way she required aid. Just in case the note was discovered, he did not sign it with a name, but a drawing of a rat footprint. He knew well enough what it should look like.
Suddenly, a noise interrupted him. Someone was coming! He turned back into a rat and scurried under Julie's bed to hide from them.
Donaghan was coming to return the book that Julie'd been using last night during the short time they had actually been studying before hormones and emotions overtook schoolwork. In her hurried and bloody departure, she'd forgotten it in his room. He walked over to place the book on her bed, only to smell something sort of near the ferret cage. He was a little curious for a second about how the small wire one had been replaced by the large multicolored-glass structure that Anthony must look upon as a castle. He opened the side and said hello to Julie's pet. No, the smell wasn't a ferret, their smell was nicer. Donaghan wasn't tempted to eat ferret, and the other smell made him think of the game hens he and his grandfather used to hunt and eat. Except it wasn't the bird smell that game hens carried, it was fetid and mousy… he smelled a rat! Anthony smelled it, too, so Donaghan let him loose, closing Julie's door to prevent the rodent's escape.
Anthony darted under the bed and judging by the squeaks found his prey hiding. Donaghan was on his hands and knees as well, trying to see the fight. At last, the rat managed to escape the ferret's deadly teeth and ran out from under the bed directly where Donaghan was waiting. He caught the squeaking, bloody rodent and gave it a flick on the head the way he used to shoot marbles. Sure enough, that knocked the thing unconscious but did not kill it. He was going to tell Julie about it and then re-release the thing to determine where it had got in so they could get it patched. He also felt a very strong urge to eat the thing. Disgusted by his wolfy craving, Donaghan examined the captured rat. It had several marks where Anthony had gotten his teeth on him, and one of the toes on it's front paw was gone. Donaghan put it in the cage Anthony used to use and gave the white mice a treat from the box nearby.
"Good afternoon, William, 'ello, Mary." He attempted to call Anthony to his shoulder. "Kata de kudasai?" Those were the right words. Anthony scurried into place and licked his ear in a gesture of ferrety fellowship. "Ar, y' glad I got tha' rat out o' Julie's way? Y're a good little mite t'protect 'er so."
Anthony made a little ferret noise of agreement and groomed himself. Donaghan again complimented the clever pet and returned him to the Castle of Ferretage. He checked to make sure the mice were alright as well and picked up the cage with the rat in it. He felt that Madam Pomfrey would be the most likely person to understand its unconsciousness and make sure that all it's wounds were alright, so the hospital wing was where he was headed.
On the way out of the Gryffindor Tower, he met Chloe.
"What ees 'zat?" she asked in horror. "Julie 'ates rats."
"I kna', tha's why I caught th' thing."
"Ees it dead?"
"Naw, it's unconscious, th' buggered squeak. Anthony fought it awhile, tha's what th' blood is from."
"Really? I'll bring 'im a treat, zhe brave Galahad. And you, too, Julie's going to be glad zhat you caught the beast."
"Been 'angin' around with Aldous, then, Chloe?" Donaghan joked. Chloe reddened a bit.
"You might say 'zat. We were talking en francais in zhe library. My accent always gets thicker when I use my muzzer tongue."
"Is English y're second language, then?"
"No, I'm bilingual, French from Mother and English from Daddy, see? If I really try I can keep this accent off."
"I couldn' get rid o'mine, Granddad wouldna' be pleased. Sometimes I'm actually doin' it on purpose, like 'round Londoners. Patriotism an' all that stuff, y'kna."
"I do that around Slytherins, too, you know. Lester Bulstrode made another crack about can-can girls in Charms today."
"I'll 'ave it taken care of or Julie will."
"No! Please don't do anything to mess with him!" Chloe looked very frightened. "Since that article they'll think you're Julie's Death Eater."
"Well, she's my girlfriend. I'll be her anything-she-wants." Donaghan gave Chloe a pat on the shoulder near the neck. "I've got t'get this rat to Madam Pomfrey's now. Tell Aldous I said hi if I don' see 'im first."
As he left, Chloe sighed heavily. If he only knew about Julie's treachery.
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A/N: Well, how was 'zat? I think I'm having fun with this. I got a new pet today, a gerbil named Sparky, he is very nice. Thumper, my plot bunny, is technically Xander's pet, so if things get a little confusing, it's because I've got two animals to help me. You know how to use plot bunnies and gerbils? Pet them or let them run around on you to help you think. I did this whole thing with Thumper on my left shoulder, diligently watching thescreen and nibbling a yogurt drop, whilst Sparky climbed all over my t-shirt. God knows how many J.K. Rowling must have. Thank you for all the reviews so far, 'specially, mym2000, SpikeLover, Cassondra, Niamh McNamara (my countryman!) and everybody who seems to not hate my tripe. Thumper wishes to add something:
5dfwn5890u90ndsjkerkjjkebb9h8.
(He just typed that himself. He's a good bunny.)