I have done something here that I always said I wouldn't - posted a story
as a part work. There is a method in my madness. I am having trouble
getting motivated at the moment and I am hoping that by posting this story
in bits, any reviews I get will push me into getting on with the story.
This story is the third in the series that I have entitled (in my head at least) as the 'Amnesia' series. This chronicles Steve's return from Redwood Plains and the following events. I hope that you enjoy this and are as kind as you all have been in the past.
Any and all reviews are welcome although, as always, please be constructive.
Steve's Return
The car pulled up through the wrought iron gates and rolled to a halt. The driver switched off his engine and sat back in his seat casting a surreptitious glance at the man on his right.
Steve Sloan sat surveying the building in front of him. It had been many months since he had seen it and if felt.....actually, he had no idea how it felt. On a mental level he knew that this was the home in which he had grown up and was filled with many memories. However, it had been so long that Steve felt like he was seeing it for the first time. He became aware of Jesse's concerned gaze and turned to face his friend. Steve smiled, "It's okay Jess. It just feels a little odd, that's all. Come on, lets get inside."
Emptying the trunk of its luggage, Steve and Jesse trod the red brick steps up to the front door. Jesse pulled out Steve's door key, which he had been using whilst he had been living at the beach house and, pushing it into the lock opened the door. He stepped back, allowing his friend to enter first. Hesitating a moment Steve stepped inside and alighted the small flight of steps to the living room, closely followed by Jesse. Bending his knees, Steve placed his luggage onto the floor and walked across to the door leading out to the deck. Turning the key which was in the lock he opened and stepped outside into the warm, summer sunshine. Jesse placed his bags on the floor as well but did not follow his friend outside. Instead he went into the kitchen to make them both a drink.
When he emerged from the house a few minutes later, two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands Steve was standing by the railing, leaning forwards on his hands gazing out over the ocean. He had his eyes tightly closed and was taking slow deep breaths. For a fleeting moment Jesse was worried, he was concerned that bringing Steve straight back to the beach house had been a mistake. After all, this was where he and his father shared their life and it crossed Jesse mind that it might be too soon. Moving forward he took a closer look at Steve's face and breathed a sigh of relief for there was a gentle smile gradually blossoming on his face.
"Steve?" Jesse spoke tentatively.
Standing upright and opening his eyes Steve turned to face Jesse and smiled at the concerned expression on his friend's face.
"It's okay Jess," he began, reaching out to take the coffee from him, "I was just listening to the ocean and taking in the aroma. Until then I stepped out here a few minutes ago I hadn't realised just how much I had not missed it."
"You hadn't missed the ocean?" Jesse was stunned.
"At the beginning Jess," Steve replied, turning again to look at the sparkling blue water with its white crested waves, "I barely missed anything on a conscious level. I recall feeling that there was something, deep down inside of me, that was missing but I didn't have the mental capacity to rationalise it." "Are you talking about the ocean or your dad?" Jesse prompted.
"The ocean, dad, you, everything." Steve listed," but, as I said I didn't know what it was. 'It' was simply something that was missing."
"How do you feel now that you are here?" Jesse asked.
For a long while Steve was silent and Jesse worried that he was pushing Steve too fast. He still felt a measure of guilt for Mark's disappearance and Steve's subsequent breakdown. Logically, he knew that neither of the two events were his fault and indeed, the second was an almost inevitable consequence of the first. Somewhere, in a small corner of his mind, Jesse needed to hear Steve say that everything was alright. Then he heard Steve take a deep breath and looked across at his friend.
"It feels weird Jess, being back here and knowing that dad isn't. Also knowing that, in all probability, he never will be again." Steve looked around, "I think that it was the right time for me to come back though. As good as Kyle and Redwood Plains are they could only take me so far on my road to recovery. I needed to get back here to continue on that road."
For a few minutes both men stood in silence looking out over the ocean and drinking their coffee. Finally Jesse asked the question that had been uppermost in his mind since they entered the house.
"Do you want me to move back to my condo now you are home?"
Steve's answer was immediate and emphatic, "No, I don't Jess. I know I am much better, but I don't think that I am anywhere near ready to be on my own yet."
Jesse smiled for, if the truth be known, he hadn't been looking forward to returning to his tiny condo after having had the run of the beach house for months. He knew he would have to eventually, but he was relieved that the evil day had been put off.
Jesse had to go out for a while later on in the day to check on things at Bob's. He just about stayed inside the speed limit both ways, because he didn't want to leave Steve on his own for too long. Leaping up the stairs to the deck a couple of hours later he was a little surprised not to see Steve sitting out on the deck, but he wasn't worried. Ten minutes later, however, he was beginning to worry for Steve was nowhere to be found in the house. Jesse was just about to pick up the phone to call Amanda when he heard the front door open. He ran towards the inner steps calling, "Steve, is that you?"
In the middle of closing the door Steve looked back over his shoulder and said, "Yeah, Jess I'm fine."
Jesse stood, hands on hips and snapped, "Well you might have left me a note! I was worried sick!"
Steve made no answer, he simply stood gazing up at his friend with a half smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
"What!" Jesse asked, unable to figure out what was amusing his friend.
"You sound more like a wife than a friend Jess," Steve commented, gesturing towards the mirror on the wall "take a look at yourself."
Turning his head slightly Jesse caught sight of his reflection. Realising what he looked like and how he had sounded, he grinned.
"I'm sorry Steve," he apologised, "it's just that I came back and you weren't here. I got worried."
Mounting the stairs to stand next to his friend, "I'm sorry too Jess. We were out of milk, so I walked to the store to buy some more."
It was at this point that Jesse noticed the carton of milk in Steve's left hand and he grinned, "I guess I did overreact a little."
"Just a tad," Steve joked, ruffling Jesses' hair on the way past, "It's good to know that you care. Coffee?"
"Please," Jesse replied, following Steve into the kitchen.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
It was a couple of days later and Jesse was feeling confident enough to leave Steve on his own for an extended period of time. Which was just as well, he reflected wryly, as his time off had run out and he had to go back on duty. Smiling to himself as he stepped out of the shower and began towelling himself down he thought back to their, somewhat, heated discussion the previous evening.
"But Steve," Jesse protested, "I thought that you'd like to spend some time with CJ and Dion."
"I do NOT intend to be babysat by a two boys of ten and eight." Steve responded, unsure whether to be indignant or amused when he had realised what Jesse had arranged, "I am feeling fine and I'm really looking forward to some time alone."
"Am I being a nuisance?" Jesse asked, an anxious look crossing his face.
"No Jess." Steve was quick to reassure his friend, "Actually, I was planning on going through my apartment and giving it a bit of a spring clean."
"Now that is a task that will keep you occupied for a while." Jesse quipped, ducking to get out of the way of Steve's upraised arm/
Finishing drying himself off, Jesse pulled on his clothes and wandered out to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. He was surprised, when he opened the kitchen door, to find Steve already standing there. He was wearing shorts, a vest top and a pair of trainers. Jesse looked his friend up and down, then spoke, "Is this the latest gear for spring cleaning then?" A glass of orange juice halfway to his lips Steve said, "No, smart alec, I am going for a run first and then I'm going to make a start downstairs."
Jesse poured himself a coffee and placed a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. Whilst he waited for them to cook he, too, poured himself a glass of orange which he thirstily quaffed. Finishing his juice, Steve placed his glass down on the breakfast where Jesse was sitting and said, "Okay Jess, I'm off. I'll see you later."
It was the first time since he had returned to the beach house that Steve had chosen to go for a run. His feet pounded on the sand, the smell of the gentle sea-breeze assailed his nostrils and he was conscious of an unfamiliar feeling. For a few strides he let that feeling wash over him as he tried, in a desultory fashion, to identify it. Suddenly, it was as if a light bulb had gone on in his brain and he realised what it was. He felt happy - a genuine, totally relaxed feeling of happiness. Steve was so surprised that he stopped in his tracks a look of surprise etched on his face. A young man walking in the opposite direction saw the look and stopped to check if he was alright. Assuring him that he was Steve continued on his run and as he ran, he let his mind wander into areas that he hadn't fully allowed himself to for months.
He thought about everything that had happened. His dad's assault, amnesia and subsequent disappearance had all taken its toll on him and had contributed, along with his frenetic search for Mark, to his breakdown nearly six months previously. He could still remember, in vivid detail, everything that had gone on during that time. Even all the stuff that went on whilst he had turned in on himself during the early days of his breakdown. The fact that Jesse, Jack and Amanda had insisted that everyone who had contact with him treated him normally and not like a patient. It had taken him a long time to be able to feel anything at all after that, but now he was happy. Steve knew that there would be moments, days even, when he would slip back a little but deep down he knew that he had turned yet another corner in his recovery.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Sitting out on the deck after dinner that evening Steve and Jesse were chatting about their day. Jesse had had a couple of difficult cases, both of which had been involved in a four car pile up on the interstate. One, a young woman, had come in with seemingly minor injuries from the accident but she arrested in the ER and Jesse had been unable to save her. By contrast, the drink-driver that had been the cause of the problem had survived and was currently under guard in ICU.
"I get so angry Steve," Jesse said, banging his bottle down on the table, "a young girl with her life ahead of her, dead because of some idiot who insists on getting behind the wheel of a car when he has had too much to drink."
"That's the way of the world Jess," Steve said, "but I know that you wouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way of your professionalism."
"No I wouldn't," Jesse agreed, "your dad taught me very well."
Steve was silent for a few seconds and, not for the first time in the last few days, Jesse was concerned that he had said something to upset his friend. He was just about to open his mouth to apologise when Steve spoke, "You are right Jess, dad was a very good teacher."
Catching sight of Jesse's surprised look Steve continued, "I don't think that dad is dead Jess, but I have accepted that he won't be back for a long time."
When Jesse remained silent Steve spoke again, "Anyway Jess, I think that it is about time we had a welcome home get together. I'll give Amanda and Jack a call, they can come over with the boys on Saturday."
"You might want to let Jack know that he can bring a guest if he wants to," Jesse said, with a grin on his face.
"Oh yes?" Steve's interest was caught at the inference behind Jesse's remark.
Jesse quickly brought Steve up to speed on how Jack and the new lady in his life had met.
"Do you think that it is serious?" he asked.
"I think Jack is very serious, only he isn't aware of it yet," responded Jesse.
Steve grinned, "Saturday should prove to be very interesting."
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Steve and Jesse were up early on Saturday morning, tidying and cleaning the house. Luckily the weather forecast was for clear skies, warm temperatures and a soft on shore breeze. Amanda had offered to organise the food along with Shona, Jack's girlfriend. Steve was a little surprised until Jesse told him that she and Amanda had become very good friends over the last few months. So when Saturday came around, he was very anxious to meet this person who had, according to Jesse, captured the heart of bachelor about town Jack Stewart and become close friends with Amanda, who didn't give her friendship lightly.
By eleven o'clock the house was pristine and the table, out on the deck, all prepared and waiting for the food that would soon arrive. Jesse and Steve sat outside, having changed into shorts and t-shirts, sipping cold beers. Outwardly, they both seemed relaxed but inside they were both edgy. The doorbell rang and they both jumped nervously, Steve being the first to rise and go to answer it.
He opened the door to have two bundles of happiness throw themselves at him crying out, "Uncle Steve! Uncle Steve!"
Reaching down Steve threw his arms around them and swung them round in the air.
"It's good to see you boys. I've really missed you," he said.
Putting them down he turned to Amanda who was watching the scene, her face a mixture of tears and smiles. Holding out his arms, Amanda walked into them and buried her face into his neck crying, "I am so glad to see you Steve. I have missed you so much and so have the boys."
Hugging her tightly Steve replied, "I have missed you all as well."
By this time the boys had disappeared and unmistakeable sounds of serious giggling could be heard coming from the direction of the deck. Amanda wiped her eyes and smiled, "I'm not sure who has helped who the most over the past few months."
Draping an arm around Amanda's shoulders Steve led her across the lounge to join the giggling mass that was Jesse and her two sons out on the deck.
"Boys, boys," Amanda laughed, seeing that Jesse was definitely coming off the worst, "let Uncle Jesse up otherwise you won't get anything to eat later on."
On hearing this light-hearted threat, both boys leapt up saying, "Sorry Uncle Jesse."
As Jesse was pulling himself to his feet a voice was heard saying, "Beaten by the munchkins again Jesse?"
They all whirled round to see the smiling Jack Stewart standing at the top of the wooden steps, having quietly come up from the beach below. A smile, the largest anyone had seen on Steve's face for many a long month, broke out and he strode across the deck towards Jack and enveloped him in an enormous bear hug. Jack returned the hug in equal measure and then turned, bringing forward the woman who had followed him up the stairs.
"Steve, I'd like you to meet Shona," as Steve held out his hand towards her Jack continued, "Shona, this is Steve Sloan one of my best friends."
"It's very nice to meet you Steve," Shona said, in a quiet melodic voice.
"It's good to meet you too," Steve replied, leading her over to one of the cushioned seats at the table, "You seem like a very nice person so I don't understand your terrible taste in men."
Shona laughed and answered, "Do you know what Steve? Sometimes, neither do I!"
From that moment on the success of the day was assured and it was late into the evening when everyone finally departed and Steve and Jesse were able to go to bed.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ Pulling into a parking space, Steve switched the engine off and looked out at the building in front of him. He had been home for about ten days and had woken up that morning having made a decision about his future.
Jim Newman stood up as Steve entered his office. He held out his hand to shake Steve's saying, "It's good to see you again Sloan. You are certainly looking a lot better since the last time we met."
"I am feeling a lot better sir," Steve replied.
Sitting down behind his desk and, indicating that Steve should take a seat also, said, "So what can I do for you?"
Pulling out an envelope from his inside jacket pocket Steve passed it across the desk to Captain Newman saying, "I want you to accept my resignation sir."
Newman sat bolt upright in his chair, this had been the last thing he had expected. There had been many times in the past when Steve had been disillusioned with life on the force and had talked about leaving, but this was the first time that Newman believed he meant it.
"Why?" he asked, "You know that you can have all the time that you need Steve, you don't have to resign."
"It's not that sir," Steve responded, "I'm just not sure that I can be a cop anymore. If I can't find my own father, a man I know better than I know myself, then how can I possibly find a murderer who I don't even know?"
Jim Newman sat and thought for a long while. There were many arguments that he could put forward to counter Steve's present view but, somehow, he didn't believe that any of them would change his Lieutenants mind. Reluctantly he reached out and picked up the envelope.
"I will see that this gets to the right place Steve. I can't tell you how sorry I am to lose you. You are the best detective that I have ever worked with and you will be almost impossible to replace."
"That's very kind of you to say so sir," Steve answered, "but I am not sure that I believe it."
Before Newman could answer, a loud knock was heard on the glass partition which separated the captain's office from the main office. This was followed very quickly by the door opening and a voice saying happily, "Steve!"
"Come in Banks," Jim Newman said, although the remark was redundant as Cheryl was already through the door and flinging herself at Steve as if he were her long lost brother.
"Hi Cheryl," Steve's voice was a little muffled from being buried in Cheryl's bosom.
"Let the man breathe Banks," Newman joked.
Cheryl blushed and stood back.
Newman looked up at Cheryl and said, "Sloan, take her away, I can see that I'm not going to get much sense out of her today."
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ Sitting opposite Steve at BBQ Bobs a little later Cheryl was still trying to come to terms with his news. She shook her head, "I really can't believe that you are resigning Steve. You have always lived to be a cop."
"I know Cheryl," he replied, taking a sip of his coffee, "but since dad disappeared and I became ill, I can't even begin to think about being a police officer again. In fact, I can honestly say that I don't want to be a cop anymore."
"What will you do?"
Steve looked around, "I'll concentrate on Bobs. It's going well and I can easily live on this and the pension that I'll get. It'll be different but I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the change. Also, it will give Jesse some time to himself. He must have worked himself to a frazzle over the last few months."
Having been roped in on numerous occasions to do a shift here and there, Cheryl agreed with that sentiment. However she felt compelled to point out that Jesse didn't, in the least, mind the extra work. In fact, and this was something that Jesse himself had voiced to Steve, he saw it as his contribution towards Steve's recovery. He had gone as far as he could as his doctor and he saw keeping Bob's afloat his primary role as Steve's friend. Cheryl reached across the table and laid her hand on Steve's arm saying, "I am going to miss having you as a partner Steve."
Patting her hand Steve replied, "I'll miss working with you too, but I am sure that you will be in here quite a lot. I know how much you enjoy the food."
Cheryl laughed.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Captain Newman told Steve that it would be a few weeks for his paperwork to go through, meanwhile Jesse allowed him to do a few isolated shifts at Bob's. He was determined to make sure that Steve did not overdo it as he was prone to do when in the final stages of recovery. In spite of his irritation Steve couldn't find it in him to be angry because he knew that Jesse was acting with the best possible motive.
One morning Steve was just getting out of the shower after a run along the beach when he heard Jesse's voice call out, "Steve! Mail's here and there is something from the department for you."
Drying himself off and pulling on his clothes Steve made his way into the kitchen where he found Jesse sitting at the breakfast counter drinking his coffee and reading his mail. He looked up as Steve entered and waved his mug in the direction of a large, buff coloured envelope on the counter.
Reaching across, Steve picked up the envelope and stood for a moment looking down at it.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Jesse asked eagerly.
"In a minute Jess," Steve replied, a little abstractedly.
In the weeks since Steve had been home, Jesse had seen his confidence grow and his pre-breakdown personality return in almost full measure and it was with much concern that he heard the uncertainty in his friends' voice. Becoming aware of Jesse's troubled scrutiny Steve looked up and smiled, "Don't worry Jess, I'm fine. It's just a little odd, holding the envelope which tells you that a large portion of your life is coming to a close. I haven't changed my mind about leaving the force, quite the opposite actually. These past few weeks have been the best that I can remember in a long, long time. I have thoroughly enjoyed working at Bobs, being with my friends and simply having time to be me."
Finishing speaking Steve turned the envelope over and, flicking a fingernail under the edge, he ripped open the flap. Pulling out the paperwork, Steve flicked through the pages.
"Well," he said, laying the sheets down on the bar, "I am no longer a Lieutenant in the LAPD. I am now Steve Sloan, private citizen and co-owner of the best BBQ restaurant in Los Angeles."
Knowing that Steve hated any mawkishness Jesse simply replied, "Well this co-owner of the best BBQ restaurant in LA had better get his tail into gear otherwise our customers will be left standing on the doorstep."
Steve grinned and said, "Well you'd better get a move on then, hadn't you?"
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
This story is the third in the series that I have entitled (in my head at least) as the 'Amnesia' series. This chronicles Steve's return from Redwood Plains and the following events. I hope that you enjoy this and are as kind as you all have been in the past.
Any and all reviews are welcome although, as always, please be constructive.
Steve's Return
The car pulled up through the wrought iron gates and rolled to a halt. The driver switched off his engine and sat back in his seat casting a surreptitious glance at the man on his right.
Steve Sloan sat surveying the building in front of him. It had been many months since he had seen it and if felt.....actually, he had no idea how it felt. On a mental level he knew that this was the home in which he had grown up and was filled with many memories. However, it had been so long that Steve felt like he was seeing it for the first time. He became aware of Jesse's concerned gaze and turned to face his friend. Steve smiled, "It's okay Jess. It just feels a little odd, that's all. Come on, lets get inside."
Emptying the trunk of its luggage, Steve and Jesse trod the red brick steps up to the front door. Jesse pulled out Steve's door key, which he had been using whilst he had been living at the beach house and, pushing it into the lock opened the door. He stepped back, allowing his friend to enter first. Hesitating a moment Steve stepped inside and alighted the small flight of steps to the living room, closely followed by Jesse. Bending his knees, Steve placed his luggage onto the floor and walked across to the door leading out to the deck. Turning the key which was in the lock he opened and stepped outside into the warm, summer sunshine. Jesse placed his bags on the floor as well but did not follow his friend outside. Instead he went into the kitchen to make them both a drink.
When he emerged from the house a few minutes later, two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands Steve was standing by the railing, leaning forwards on his hands gazing out over the ocean. He had his eyes tightly closed and was taking slow deep breaths. For a fleeting moment Jesse was worried, he was concerned that bringing Steve straight back to the beach house had been a mistake. After all, this was where he and his father shared their life and it crossed Jesse mind that it might be too soon. Moving forward he took a closer look at Steve's face and breathed a sigh of relief for there was a gentle smile gradually blossoming on his face.
"Steve?" Jesse spoke tentatively.
Standing upright and opening his eyes Steve turned to face Jesse and smiled at the concerned expression on his friend's face.
"It's okay Jess," he began, reaching out to take the coffee from him, "I was just listening to the ocean and taking in the aroma. Until then I stepped out here a few minutes ago I hadn't realised just how much I had not missed it."
"You hadn't missed the ocean?" Jesse was stunned.
"At the beginning Jess," Steve replied, turning again to look at the sparkling blue water with its white crested waves, "I barely missed anything on a conscious level. I recall feeling that there was something, deep down inside of me, that was missing but I didn't have the mental capacity to rationalise it." "Are you talking about the ocean or your dad?" Jesse prompted.
"The ocean, dad, you, everything." Steve listed," but, as I said I didn't know what it was. 'It' was simply something that was missing."
"How do you feel now that you are here?" Jesse asked.
For a long while Steve was silent and Jesse worried that he was pushing Steve too fast. He still felt a measure of guilt for Mark's disappearance and Steve's subsequent breakdown. Logically, he knew that neither of the two events were his fault and indeed, the second was an almost inevitable consequence of the first. Somewhere, in a small corner of his mind, Jesse needed to hear Steve say that everything was alright. Then he heard Steve take a deep breath and looked across at his friend.
"It feels weird Jess, being back here and knowing that dad isn't. Also knowing that, in all probability, he never will be again." Steve looked around, "I think that it was the right time for me to come back though. As good as Kyle and Redwood Plains are they could only take me so far on my road to recovery. I needed to get back here to continue on that road."
For a few minutes both men stood in silence looking out over the ocean and drinking their coffee. Finally Jesse asked the question that had been uppermost in his mind since they entered the house.
"Do you want me to move back to my condo now you are home?"
Steve's answer was immediate and emphatic, "No, I don't Jess. I know I am much better, but I don't think that I am anywhere near ready to be on my own yet."
Jesse smiled for, if the truth be known, he hadn't been looking forward to returning to his tiny condo after having had the run of the beach house for months. He knew he would have to eventually, but he was relieved that the evil day had been put off.
Jesse had to go out for a while later on in the day to check on things at Bob's. He just about stayed inside the speed limit both ways, because he didn't want to leave Steve on his own for too long. Leaping up the stairs to the deck a couple of hours later he was a little surprised not to see Steve sitting out on the deck, but he wasn't worried. Ten minutes later, however, he was beginning to worry for Steve was nowhere to be found in the house. Jesse was just about to pick up the phone to call Amanda when he heard the front door open. He ran towards the inner steps calling, "Steve, is that you?"
In the middle of closing the door Steve looked back over his shoulder and said, "Yeah, Jess I'm fine."
Jesse stood, hands on hips and snapped, "Well you might have left me a note! I was worried sick!"
Steve made no answer, he simply stood gazing up at his friend with a half smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
"What!" Jesse asked, unable to figure out what was amusing his friend.
"You sound more like a wife than a friend Jess," Steve commented, gesturing towards the mirror on the wall "take a look at yourself."
Turning his head slightly Jesse caught sight of his reflection. Realising what he looked like and how he had sounded, he grinned.
"I'm sorry Steve," he apologised, "it's just that I came back and you weren't here. I got worried."
Mounting the stairs to stand next to his friend, "I'm sorry too Jess. We were out of milk, so I walked to the store to buy some more."
It was at this point that Jesse noticed the carton of milk in Steve's left hand and he grinned, "I guess I did overreact a little."
"Just a tad," Steve joked, ruffling Jesses' hair on the way past, "It's good to know that you care. Coffee?"
"Please," Jesse replied, following Steve into the kitchen.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
It was a couple of days later and Jesse was feeling confident enough to leave Steve on his own for an extended period of time. Which was just as well, he reflected wryly, as his time off had run out and he had to go back on duty. Smiling to himself as he stepped out of the shower and began towelling himself down he thought back to their, somewhat, heated discussion the previous evening.
"But Steve," Jesse protested, "I thought that you'd like to spend some time with CJ and Dion."
"I do NOT intend to be babysat by a two boys of ten and eight." Steve responded, unsure whether to be indignant or amused when he had realised what Jesse had arranged, "I am feeling fine and I'm really looking forward to some time alone."
"Am I being a nuisance?" Jesse asked, an anxious look crossing his face.
"No Jess." Steve was quick to reassure his friend, "Actually, I was planning on going through my apartment and giving it a bit of a spring clean."
"Now that is a task that will keep you occupied for a while." Jesse quipped, ducking to get out of the way of Steve's upraised arm/
Finishing drying himself off, Jesse pulled on his clothes and wandered out to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. He was surprised, when he opened the kitchen door, to find Steve already standing there. He was wearing shorts, a vest top and a pair of trainers. Jesse looked his friend up and down, then spoke, "Is this the latest gear for spring cleaning then?" A glass of orange juice halfway to his lips Steve said, "No, smart alec, I am going for a run first and then I'm going to make a start downstairs."
Jesse poured himself a coffee and placed a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. Whilst he waited for them to cook he, too, poured himself a glass of orange which he thirstily quaffed. Finishing his juice, Steve placed his glass down on the breakfast where Jesse was sitting and said, "Okay Jess, I'm off. I'll see you later."
It was the first time since he had returned to the beach house that Steve had chosen to go for a run. His feet pounded on the sand, the smell of the gentle sea-breeze assailed his nostrils and he was conscious of an unfamiliar feeling. For a few strides he let that feeling wash over him as he tried, in a desultory fashion, to identify it. Suddenly, it was as if a light bulb had gone on in his brain and he realised what it was. He felt happy - a genuine, totally relaxed feeling of happiness. Steve was so surprised that he stopped in his tracks a look of surprise etched on his face. A young man walking in the opposite direction saw the look and stopped to check if he was alright. Assuring him that he was Steve continued on his run and as he ran, he let his mind wander into areas that he hadn't fully allowed himself to for months.
He thought about everything that had happened. His dad's assault, amnesia and subsequent disappearance had all taken its toll on him and had contributed, along with his frenetic search for Mark, to his breakdown nearly six months previously. He could still remember, in vivid detail, everything that had gone on during that time. Even all the stuff that went on whilst he had turned in on himself during the early days of his breakdown. The fact that Jesse, Jack and Amanda had insisted that everyone who had contact with him treated him normally and not like a patient. It had taken him a long time to be able to feel anything at all after that, but now he was happy. Steve knew that there would be moments, days even, when he would slip back a little but deep down he knew that he had turned yet another corner in his recovery.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Sitting out on the deck after dinner that evening Steve and Jesse were chatting about their day. Jesse had had a couple of difficult cases, both of which had been involved in a four car pile up on the interstate. One, a young woman, had come in with seemingly minor injuries from the accident but she arrested in the ER and Jesse had been unable to save her. By contrast, the drink-driver that had been the cause of the problem had survived and was currently under guard in ICU.
"I get so angry Steve," Jesse said, banging his bottle down on the table, "a young girl with her life ahead of her, dead because of some idiot who insists on getting behind the wheel of a car when he has had too much to drink."
"That's the way of the world Jess," Steve said, "but I know that you wouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way of your professionalism."
"No I wouldn't," Jesse agreed, "your dad taught me very well."
Steve was silent for a few seconds and, not for the first time in the last few days, Jesse was concerned that he had said something to upset his friend. He was just about to open his mouth to apologise when Steve spoke, "You are right Jess, dad was a very good teacher."
Catching sight of Jesse's surprised look Steve continued, "I don't think that dad is dead Jess, but I have accepted that he won't be back for a long time."
When Jesse remained silent Steve spoke again, "Anyway Jess, I think that it is about time we had a welcome home get together. I'll give Amanda and Jack a call, they can come over with the boys on Saturday."
"You might want to let Jack know that he can bring a guest if he wants to," Jesse said, with a grin on his face.
"Oh yes?" Steve's interest was caught at the inference behind Jesse's remark.
Jesse quickly brought Steve up to speed on how Jack and the new lady in his life had met.
"Do you think that it is serious?" he asked.
"I think Jack is very serious, only he isn't aware of it yet," responded Jesse.
Steve grinned, "Saturday should prove to be very interesting."
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Steve and Jesse were up early on Saturday morning, tidying and cleaning the house. Luckily the weather forecast was for clear skies, warm temperatures and a soft on shore breeze. Amanda had offered to organise the food along with Shona, Jack's girlfriend. Steve was a little surprised until Jesse told him that she and Amanda had become very good friends over the last few months. So when Saturday came around, he was very anxious to meet this person who had, according to Jesse, captured the heart of bachelor about town Jack Stewart and become close friends with Amanda, who didn't give her friendship lightly.
By eleven o'clock the house was pristine and the table, out on the deck, all prepared and waiting for the food that would soon arrive. Jesse and Steve sat outside, having changed into shorts and t-shirts, sipping cold beers. Outwardly, they both seemed relaxed but inside they were both edgy. The doorbell rang and they both jumped nervously, Steve being the first to rise and go to answer it.
He opened the door to have two bundles of happiness throw themselves at him crying out, "Uncle Steve! Uncle Steve!"
Reaching down Steve threw his arms around them and swung them round in the air.
"It's good to see you boys. I've really missed you," he said.
Putting them down he turned to Amanda who was watching the scene, her face a mixture of tears and smiles. Holding out his arms, Amanda walked into them and buried her face into his neck crying, "I am so glad to see you Steve. I have missed you so much and so have the boys."
Hugging her tightly Steve replied, "I have missed you all as well."
By this time the boys had disappeared and unmistakeable sounds of serious giggling could be heard coming from the direction of the deck. Amanda wiped her eyes and smiled, "I'm not sure who has helped who the most over the past few months."
Draping an arm around Amanda's shoulders Steve led her across the lounge to join the giggling mass that was Jesse and her two sons out on the deck.
"Boys, boys," Amanda laughed, seeing that Jesse was definitely coming off the worst, "let Uncle Jesse up otherwise you won't get anything to eat later on."
On hearing this light-hearted threat, both boys leapt up saying, "Sorry Uncle Jesse."
As Jesse was pulling himself to his feet a voice was heard saying, "Beaten by the munchkins again Jesse?"
They all whirled round to see the smiling Jack Stewart standing at the top of the wooden steps, having quietly come up from the beach below. A smile, the largest anyone had seen on Steve's face for many a long month, broke out and he strode across the deck towards Jack and enveloped him in an enormous bear hug. Jack returned the hug in equal measure and then turned, bringing forward the woman who had followed him up the stairs.
"Steve, I'd like you to meet Shona," as Steve held out his hand towards her Jack continued, "Shona, this is Steve Sloan one of my best friends."
"It's very nice to meet you Steve," Shona said, in a quiet melodic voice.
"It's good to meet you too," Steve replied, leading her over to one of the cushioned seats at the table, "You seem like a very nice person so I don't understand your terrible taste in men."
Shona laughed and answered, "Do you know what Steve? Sometimes, neither do I!"
From that moment on the success of the day was assured and it was late into the evening when everyone finally departed and Steve and Jesse were able to go to bed.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ Pulling into a parking space, Steve switched the engine off and looked out at the building in front of him. He had been home for about ten days and had woken up that morning having made a decision about his future.
Jim Newman stood up as Steve entered his office. He held out his hand to shake Steve's saying, "It's good to see you again Sloan. You are certainly looking a lot better since the last time we met."
"I am feeling a lot better sir," Steve replied.
Sitting down behind his desk and, indicating that Steve should take a seat also, said, "So what can I do for you?"
Pulling out an envelope from his inside jacket pocket Steve passed it across the desk to Captain Newman saying, "I want you to accept my resignation sir."
Newman sat bolt upright in his chair, this had been the last thing he had expected. There had been many times in the past when Steve had been disillusioned with life on the force and had talked about leaving, but this was the first time that Newman believed he meant it.
"Why?" he asked, "You know that you can have all the time that you need Steve, you don't have to resign."
"It's not that sir," Steve responded, "I'm just not sure that I can be a cop anymore. If I can't find my own father, a man I know better than I know myself, then how can I possibly find a murderer who I don't even know?"
Jim Newman sat and thought for a long while. There were many arguments that he could put forward to counter Steve's present view but, somehow, he didn't believe that any of them would change his Lieutenants mind. Reluctantly he reached out and picked up the envelope.
"I will see that this gets to the right place Steve. I can't tell you how sorry I am to lose you. You are the best detective that I have ever worked with and you will be almost impossible to replace."
"That's very kind of you to say so sir," Steve answered, "but I am not sure that I believe it."
Before Newman could answer, a loud knock was heard on the glass partition which separated the captain's office from the main office. This was followed very quickly by the door opening and a voice saying happily, "Steve!"
"Come in Banks," Jim Newman said, although the remark was redundant as Cheryl was already through the door and flinging herself at Steve as if he were her long lost brother.
"Hi Cheryl," Steve's voice was a little muffled from being buried in Cheryl's bosom.
"Let the man breathe Banks," Newman joked.
Cheryl blushed and stood back.
Newman looked up at Cheryl and said, "Sloan, take her away, I can see that I'm not going to get much sense out of her today."
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ Sitting opposite Steve at BBQ Bobs a little later Cheryl was still trying to come to terms with his news. She shook her head, "I really can't believe that you are resigning Steve. You have always lived to be a cop."
"I know Cheryl," he replied, taking a sip of his coffee, "but since dad disappeared and I became ill, I can't even begin to think about being a police officer again. In fact, I can honestly say that I don't want to be a cop anymore."
"What will you do?"
Steve looked around, "I'll concentrate on Bobs. It's going well and I can easily live on this and the pension that I'll get. It'll be different but I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the change. Also, it will give Jesse some time to himself. He must have worked himself to a frazzle over the last few months."
Having been roped in on numerous occasions to do a shift here and there, Cheryl agreed with that sentiment. However she felt compelled to point out that Jesse didn't, in the least, mind the extra work. In fact, and this was something that Jesse himself had voiced to Steve, he saw it as his contribution towards Steve's recovery. He had gone as far as he could as his doctor and he saw keeping Bob's afloat his primary role as Steve's friend. Cheryl reached across the table and laid her hand on Steve's arm saying, "I am going to miss having you as a partner Steve."
Patting her hand Steve replied, "I'll miss working with you too, but I am sure that you will be in here quite a lot. I know how much you enjoy the food."
Cheryl laughed.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Captain Newman told Steve that it would be a few weeks for his paperwork to go through, meanwhile Jesse allowed him to do a few isolated shifts at Bob's. He was determined to make sure that Steve did not overdo it as he was prone to do when in the final stages of recovery. In spite of his irritation Steve couldn't find it in him to be angry because he knew that Jesse was acting with the best possible motive.
One morning Steve was just getting out of the shower after a run along the beach when he heard Jesse's voice call out, "Steve! Mail's here and there is something from the department for you."
Drying himself off and pulling on his clothes Steve made his way into the kitchen where he found Jesse sitting at the breakfast counter drinking his coffee and reading his mail. He looked up as Steve entered and waved his mug in the direction of a large, buff coloured envelope on the counter.
Reaching across, Steve picked up the envelope and stood for a moment looking down at it.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Jesse asked eagerly.
"In a minute Jess," Steve replied, a little abstractedly.
In the weeks since Steve had been home, Jesse had seen his confidence grow and his pre-breakdown personality return in almost full measure and it was with much concern that he heard the uncertainty in his friends' voice. Becoming aware of Jesse's troubled scrutiny Steve looked up and smiled, "Don't worry Jess, I'm fine. It's just a little odd, holding the envelope which tells you that a large portion of your life is coming to a close. I haven't changed my mind about leaving the force, quite the opposite actually. These past few weeks have been the best that I can remember in a long, long time. I have thoroughly enjoyed working at Bobs, being with my friends and simply having time to be me."
Finishing speaking Steve turned the envelope over and, flicking a fingernail under the edge, he ripped open the flap. Pulling out the paperwork, Steve flicked through the pages.
"Well," he said, laying the sheets down on the bar, "I am no longer a Lieutenant in the LAPD. I am now Steve Sloan, private citizen and co-owner of the best BBQ restaurant in Los Angeles."
Knowing that Steve hated any mawkishness Jesse simply replied, "Well this co-owner of the best BBQ restaurant in LA had better get his tail into gear otherwise our customers will be left standing on the doorstep."
Steve grinned and said, "Well you'd better get a move on then, hadn't you?"
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬