©2002 This story was written by Katie (oh sure! Like I'll give you my last name!). It is totally 100% fictional, which is why it's a fanfic! If you wanna use it on your webpage, then you must e-mail me at katiec@nb.sympatico.ca. If I find my fanfic on your page without my permission, then I will personally kill you. Have a nice day :P!
SEVERE FOREWARNING! Some silly shounen-ai, cursing, some . . . interesting couples (very out-of-the-ordinary O.o), people who are extremely out-of-character, lemon-lime-flavoured humour, and much more naughty fun :D you have been warned! Also note that I really hate Ness, so he will be harmed periodically throughout. If you don't like the sounds of this, trust me, you should turn away RIGHT NOW. Enjoy!
[A/N: I mean nothing against gay people in this fic! If someone calls a homosexual character "queer", it's probably because they're pissed off. I also don't mean to offend anyone if it appears that I am using homosexuality as an insult. These are not my own views. I mean not to offend, and if I do, I'm VERY sorry!]
LEGAL SSBM DISCLAIMER: © 2001 Nintendo and HAL Laboratories. I don't own any rights for the game (peh! I wish! I wish I owned . . . yeeeheee . . . LINK too ^^).
Super Smash Bros. Melee: EXPOSED (Part 7)
Everyone at that party was frightened beyond their wits. They watched as that asshole speaking Portugese stole their Gamecubes, television sets, Mr. Saturns, sofas, alcohol . . . everything!! When they were finished, they stood with looks of pure triumph on their faces.
"Nós somos terminados aqui. Agora, antes que nós sairmos. . . dispare nesse miúdo chubby," the boss character said with a laugh. He pointed at Ness, and one of his cronies lifted his machine gun.
"Sim, senhor!" the lackey shouted with a smirk. He pulled the trigger, and off flew Ness's right arm (it flew back and hit Donkey Kong in the head). Ness stood there, completely bewildered, then looked at the short stub which was once his arm as it spurted with blood. Then, he looked back at Donkey Kong, who had used Ness's arm to start hitting Bowser. Ness then looked back to the Portugese-speaking dude.
"You shot me!" he cried. "You shot me right in the arm!" One of the cronies looked confused.
"Gajo, eu disparei apenas em seu braço fora e não desmaiou ainda? Não é gritar uniforme? Que o inferno?" he said. Ness looked really, really pissed off.
"You son of a bitch!" he screamed. "Do you know how much it hurts to replace arms nowadays!? Motherfuck!! This is the eighth arm I've had to spontaneously grow back in the past three years! I'm fucking sick of this!" Everyone looked at one another with confused looks on their faces. They watched as Ness's arm rapidly grew back.
"What the fuck!?" exclaimed Jigglypuff.
"What the fuck!?" interjected Falco.
"Que a foda!?" spat the guy who shot Ness.
"Dude, Ness, what are you!?" Fox asked. Ness suddenly looked embarassed.
"Oh! Arrrr, eh, nevermind!" he said nervously. He then sped out of the room. The lead bad-guy shrugged off the sudden confusion quickly, then returned to the task at hand.
". . . Endireite, bom ele é hora para nós de sair! Buahahaha!" he laughed. Suddenly, two female voices were heard behind them. . . .
"Não assim rapidamente, stupid," they said in unison. All the Portugese-speakers turned around, and were abruptly shot in the head. All the bad guys died. Everyone looked to see who their rescuers were, and to Falco and Fox's great merriment, it was. . . .
"Kiara!"
"Jamey!"
Their girlfriends.
The female fox and the female falcon blew the smoke off their guns, and they grinned.
"What, you thought we were going to let our boyfriends party with some other girls?" Kiara asked. Jamey shook her head.
"If that's what you were thinking, then forget about it, 'coz we're here to party!" she said. She snapped her fingers. "DJ, keep the music comin'!"
Y'Link didn't have a clue as to where he was. He woke up on a huge, rubber bed of sorts . . . wait a minute! That wasn't a bed, it was a giant . . . hand!?
"Me love pretty boy," cooed the owner of the hand. Y'Link looked up to see who this person speaking was, and he saw a TALL woman with long blond hair (think Britney Spears in a cavewoman outfit, 80 feet tall and you've got the drift) and big blue eyes (Conker fans should know who this is!). His eyes widened.
"H-hello!! I'm Y-Y'Link, who are you?" he asked. He hoped to get to know more than just her name, of course.
"My name Jugga," she said. Y'Link gave her a big, dopey grin, and abruptly fainted forward back into Jugga's hand.
The next morning, augh, I woke up with a killer hangover and I was sleeping with . . . *looks to her right* . . . AHHHHHHHH!!
"Hey Nekonezume, what's wrong?" Ness asked from beside me. Help. Oh please, please help.
"You certainly weren't acting like that last night," Ness added. Dammit, no. This isn't cool. I would be FINE if I woke up with Link, possibly Roy, maybe even Marth, dammit, but NESS!? Shoot me!! Augh, let's go onto the next scene so I can get out of this mess without all my readers laughing at me. . . .
Link woke up slowly with the sun shining in his face. He groaned loudly.
"Someone please turn the fucken sun off, auggghhh, my heeeaddd," he moaned. Well, what do you expect? I mean, he WAS completely smashed out of his skull last night. Suddenly, he noticed that he wasn't alone in the bed he was in. He grinned.
"Saaaamusss," he said slowly, putting his arms around the person in the bed. It was right then that he realized something. . . .
The person he thought was Samus had a six-pack, and a rather masculine six-pack at that. His eyes widened in horror as he struggled to remember the previous nights events. A giggle was then heard beneath the covers.
"Mmmmm, Link. . . ." came a masculine voice. Link recognized that voice straight away ('scuse the pun).
It was Marth's voice.
Link was too horrified to even speak as Marth's face peeked out from beneath the blankets. He inched closer to Link (who quickly took his arms away from around Marth's waist) and tried to kiss him. Link quickly pulled away.
"Marth, what the hell!?" he shouted when he finally got some words out.
"SHUT UP!" the entire room screamed. They were hungover, too. Marth frowned.
"Hey, you came onto me last night, and you didn't seem as pissed as you are now back when I was-"
"DON'T EVEN SAY IT! I don't want to even REMEMBER any single BIT of what you did to me last night, Marth!" Link shouted.
"SHUT UP!" the whole room screamed once again. Of course, right then, Samus came rushing into the room.
"Link, I-" she started. She had a big grin on her face . . . until she looked into Link's bed. She then saw Marth there, and her eyes widened. "Link!" she exclaimed. "How . . . how. . . ! How could you do this to me?! You told me you loved me! You said to me that - that - that . . . I can't believe you're a fag!" Link looked upset.
"Samus, please, just let me try to explain," he started, hopping out of the bed (he was stark naked, too). Samus started to cry.
"No, Link, I know perfectly well," she sobbed as she ran out of the room. Link looked down, then fell to the ground.
"FUCK!" he screamed angrily as he pounded the floor with his fist.
"SHUT UP!"
Samus ran down the hallway, wiping tears from her face. She headed into the dorm that DK, Roy, and Pichu shared, and she saw Roy in there, sitting on his bed and looking out the window.
"Roy!" Samus cried. She climbed up the latter to his top bunk and looked over the bedside. Roy quickly spun his head around to look at the sobbing girl. His eyes softened immediately.
"Samus, what's wrong?" he asked slowly, extending a hand to help her up onto the bed. Samus oblidged and grabbed his hand. He pulled her up.
"It's . . . it's Link!" she said sadly. "He . . . he and Marth, they . . . they slept together last night." Roy looked sad, and he felt like shit too, because it was all his fault. But still, he put his arms around Samus and gave her a little hug, allowing her to cry on his shoulder.
"He didn't even tell you anything before he did it?" he asked. Samus shook her head as she buried her face into Roy's shoulder.
"No," she sobbed. Just then, Pichu blinked an eye open.
"'Ey!" he hissed. "Wanna keep it down a bit? You'll wake up Jigglypuff!" Samus sighed, and Roy pointed to the washroom.
"We can talk in there," he whispered. Samus wiped some tears away.
"Okay," she replied sadly. The two silently hopped off the bed, and crept into the washroom. When they got in there, Samus just started to cry once again, burying her face in her hands. Roy walked over and took Samus into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder.
"I thought Link was different," she sobbed. "He said he wouldn't ever do anything to break my heart. He told me he loved me." Roy swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I . . . know how you feel," he replied. "And it's okay to cry. It's okay." Samus returned the hug Roy was giving her by wrapping her arms around him.
"Roy," Samus said in a quivering, muffled voice, "if . . . it weren't for Link, you probably would have been person I'd have ended up with. You're such a sweet guy, Roy." Roy sighed.
"I'm . . . not that sweet," he said sadly. Samus squeezed him a bit.
"But you are, you're the sweetest guy I know." She laughed a bit. "I think the only reason I ended up with Link is because . . . he was a REALLY good fuck." Roy laughed a bit himself.
"You mean, you were using him?" he asked, almost hopefully.
"I think it was almost a mutual thing. I did like him, a lot, but he was just using me for sex. That's how Link is. He's a player. He's hot, funny, all that, but . . . he's a player. The thing that hurts the most is. . . ." Samus began. She pulled away from Roy's embrace and looked him in the eye. "He dropped me for a guy." She then noticed Roy's eyes suddenly start to well up with tears, and he looked sad. He turned away from Samus, who frowned. "What's wrong, Roy?" she asked. Roy closed his eyes and allowed a tear to escape.
"Dammit! It hurts me so much to see you upset like this!" he hissed. Samus smiled a bit and patted him on the shoulder.
"It's okay, Roy. I'll be fine," she said. She walked around a bit to meet Roy and she looked him in the eye. "Really," she whispered. Roy's face suddenly turned a red to match his vibrant hair. Samus laughed, then went up on her toes, and kissed Roy.
A/N: Is it just me, or was that scene WAYYYYY too sappy!? Okay, it's time for a funneh scene! . . . after this one, ennywho.
Kirby and Pikachu woke up in the same bed, and the two were actually rather grumpy. Kirby glared at Pikachu.
"I saw you staring at Jigglypuff last night," he growled. "I thought you liked me. What the hell's going on, Pikachu?" Pikachu frowned.
"Fucken . . . I saw you staring at her, too! As if I'M the blind one!?" Suddenly, his gaze turned from angry to kind of sad. "Kirby, you know what we're doing to eachother, don't you?" he asked slowly. Kirby raised an eyebrow.
"Erm, no, eh, not really," Kirby replied in a confused tone. Pikachu sighed.
"Dude, we're completely leading eachother on to believe that we each are gay and like the other, yet in reality, we're both straight as any other straight guy, and we're each trying to make Jigglypuff really jealous. That's what we're doing," he muttered. Kirby looked down.
"Yeah . . . I guess you're right. . . ." he said sadly. Then, his sad look turned into an almost evil grin.
"Dude, let's go steal Jigglypuff back from the acidic claws of Pichu!" the two said in unison. They both hopped off the bed, then they ran toward the dorm that Pichu, Donkey Kong, and Roy shared.
"Listen up, you fucken . . euuuh . . . orange-mustached purple-toenailed fuzzy-haired yellow-dicked Barney-t-shirt-wearing abnormal piece of repeating manila envelope SHIT! Nana is MINE!" Donkey Kong growled. Bowser simply shrugged.
"Having a yellow dick is much better than having none at all," he said with a smirk. DK frowned.
"Oh yeah!? Well . . . euh . . . euh . . . your . . . earrings are . . . grape-scented . . . and your . . . chainmail belt . . . is made of . . . fermented . . . rice," DK finished, euh, "triumphantly". Bowser burst into laughter.
"WHAHAA! Ohhh, shiot, that was a good one, DK! Hahahah!" he howled, wiping a tear of laughter away. DK sighed. He had had enough of fighting with one of his best friends over a girl that he'd loved forever. There was no point. Bowser WAS his best friend (what, you were expecting Diddy!?). He sighed.
"You know what, Bowser?" he said slowly, "forget it. You have her. I don't care. I'm sick of losing my best friend over someone who never even liked me in the first place. It's not that important. I'll move on. It's okay. You have her." Donkey Kong sighed, and walked slowly away, grabbing a bottle of vodka from the night before on his way out that door. Bowser stood there, his eyes widened, feeling utterly bewildered. Then, he grinned and shrugged.
" . . . Okay!" he exclaimed with a grin, then set out to find his newfound princess.
Wario tapped Daisy lightly on the head as she dozed silently on the barstool from the night before.
The funny thing was, Daisy was butt-fuckin'-naked.
The night before, Daisy had gotten utterly shitfaced after Wario had brought her back from the talk he gave her. He basically just stumbled over his words the whole time, and Daisy finally left after he apologized for wasting her time. Quite obviously still emotionally destroyed from her recent breakup with Luigi, Daisy ordered several shots of vodka, as well as some whisky, rum (and Pepsi) and other such hard alcohol. Slammer after slammer after slammer, she knocked them all back (how she avoided alcohol poisoning, I will NEVER know) until she got so utterly smashed out of her skull that she stripped naked and started to dance on the bar table . . . all the while vomiting on gawking male passers-by. Sometime after the Portugese-speaking assholes . . . er, died, Daisy slipped on a puddle of beer and fell from the bar table down. Her feet had slipped out from under her, so on the way down, she bashed her head on the table, and landed (unconscious) sprawled on her stomach on a barstool. Naturally, she had the wind knocked out of her, and she vomited onto the floor. Then, she fell asleep. She didn't have a concussion, but she still got knocked out pretty badly.
See, folks? That's what happens when you cheat on someone! (I'm just kidding, put your mouldy tomatoes away!!)
After being tapped, Daisy's silent dozing turned into a loud snoring. Wario quickly wrapped Daisy up into a blanket (especially since Popo had been standing right behind him, going "Huhuhuhuhu!" and loading a battery into his camcorder), then proceeded to carry her off to a couch. Popo stood there with a very upset look on his face.
"Awwww . . . so much for a porno tape," he said sadly.
Wario gently placed Daisy on the couch, and slowly tried to wake her up. After a moment of coaxing, Daisy slowly opened her eyes, gave Wario a weary smile, then proceeded to vomit on his shoes. Wario gulped as he watched Daisy vomit grotesquely upon his new, polished, patent leather shoes, but then gave her a grin when she was finished. . . .
A very weak, forced grin.
"Hey," he said. Daisy grabbed her head upon that word, then groaned.
"My heeeaaddd," she grumbled. "Stop shouting at me, Wario." Wario laughed a bit.
"Well, you did drink far too much alcohol, get utterly smashed out of your skull and then bash said skull off the bar table," he said with a slight shrug. Daisy's eyes widened.
"I . . . I what!? I don't even remember what happened last night! Not a single bit of it!" she cried. Then, she came to the horrible realization one has when they find out he or she's wearing absolutely no clothes. Daisy gasped loudly. "Wario . . . we didn't . . . after I. . . ?" she said slowly. Wario laughed.
"No, no, we didn't," he said. "But, to refresh your memory, you drank until the point where you couldn't think straight, tore off your clothes and started to dance on the bar table. Finally, you slipped on a puddle of beer and fell on your head and onto a barstool. I brought you in here because you were, uhhm, 'on display' out there." Daisy's face went from flesh-coloured to crimson.
"Are you serious!? That's so embarassing. . . ." she muttered in humiliation. Wario gave her a smile.
"But, that's okay," he said. "I don't think anyone remembers it. They were all drunk last night." Just then, Dr. Mario walked by.
"Hey, Daisy! Great show you put on last night! Did you hear me shouting encore?" he said with a wink. Daisy turned to Wario with a look of pure horror on her face. Wario laughed nervously and coughed.
"Er, what I meant was . . . I don't think many people remembered it," he muttered. He then shook his head. "But, that doesn't really matter. Er, do you mind if I get on with what I was trying to say to you last night?" Daisy nodded.
"Sure, go ahead."
For the next ten minutes after that, Wario completely poured his heart out to Daisy, telling her how he felt about her, and how much she meant to him. Daisy looked down.
"What do you think?" Wario asked slowly, feeling more than a little bit embarassed. Daisy's face flushed white.
"Er . . . well . . . I think you'd better bring me a bucket!" she exclaimed hurriedly. "And FAST!" Wario's eyes widened, and he hopped to his feet and sped out of the room, simultaneously deciding that perhaps he should wait awhile and help nurse Daisy's hangover before trying to win her over. Maybe that would be the best bet.
Roy and Samus were sitting together on Roy's bed, talking about things; really getting to know eachother.
"What's your favourite colour?" Roy asked slowly. Samus giggled.
"Blue! What's yours?" she asked. Roy's eyes widened.
"No way!" he exclaimed. "Mine too!" Samus grinned and hugged Roy tightly around the waist.
"You know, Roy?" she started. Roy raised his eyebrows.
"Hm?" he said quickly.
"I've been thinking," Samus continued. "We have a lot in common, don't we? And if we actually became like a real couple, we could do things other than just fuck around, right? Like, stay up all night talking about stories from when we were young and shit like that?" Roy smiled.
"Yeah, I guess so," he said. Suddenly, his Shoulder Guardians appeared on each of his shoulders; Evil Roy on the left and Angel Roy on the right.
"You're going to tell Samus what really happened, aren't you?" Angel Roy asked, his halo slipping slightly as he spoke. He was quick to replace it.
"Yo, you pansy-ass bitchfuck! He ain't gonna tell his slut nuthin'! He's just in it fo' the PUSS-AYYY!" Devil Roy cried exuberantly, thrusting his pelvis.
"Shut the fuck up, you asshole!" Roy hissed toward his left shoulder. Samus raised an eyebrow.
"What was that?" she said quickly. Roy coughed.
"Nothing, just talking to myself," he said, then starting to hum a bit.
"No matter how many times you try to cover it up, it's going to come back to haunt you," warned Angel Roy as he sat down and began to play his harp. It was quite soothing. Just then, Devil Roy whipped out the ol' electric guitar complete with a huge-ass amp which was strategically placed on the top of Roy's head. Devil Roy began wailing out some huge riffs, not long before he started to play a long guitar solo. Roy jumped away from Samus and quickly plugged his ears. Samus frowned.
"Roy. . . ? Are you okay?" she asked, but Roy couldn't hear her. Devil Roy's sick solo was playing loudly in his head.
"DUDE! Shut the FUCK up!" Angel Roy screamed. Devil Roy abruptly stopped.
"What da FUCK is yo' problem? I was jus' spittin' some tunes!" he said, sounding very offended.
"We're trying to teach him a lesson, not deafen him, fucktwat," Angel Roy snapped, frowning disapprovingly. Devil Roy frowned and pointed at Angel Roy's harp.
"But you're playing your harp! Why the fuck can't I play a little guitar?" he protested. Angel Roy rolled his eyes.
"Because, brainfart, harps are soothing, and electric guitars are for times where you DON'T WANT TO GO DEAF!" he shouted. Devil Roy's bottom lip quivered.
"I wuz jus' tryin' to-" he started, before Angel Roy interrupted.
"Piss me off? Well, assmonger, it worked! Now, before you start crying like you did the time you shut your dick in the freezer and the thing broke off-" he said. Roy's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "-let's get Roy to fucken tell Samus what REALLY happened last night, okay!?" Devil Roy glanced at Roy, tears dancing in his eyes.
"Look, dude, the boss got me a new dick! I'm not a-" Devil Roy started. Roy shook his head.
"Your dick broke off?" he hissed. Samus raised an eyebrow.
"Roy, are you feeling okay?" she asked slowly. Without looking at her, Roy nodded his head quickly.
"Yeah, yeah, never been better," he said speedily. Angel Roy flew in front of him, then hovered there for a moment with an angelic grin on his face.
"Roy, my son, do what is right. Be honest with Samus, and let her know why Marth and Link fucked like two maddogs last night. Tell her the truth," he said, all the while keeping the same grin on his face (and not even cracking up! Damn, bitch, I would've cracked up like, say, 8 times saying that!). Roy sighed and nodded.
"I know it's the right thing to do, but if I do, she'll hate me," he said sadly.
"Exactly!" Devil Roy cut in, interrupting Angel Roy, who was about to speak. "Don't let the truth get in the way of you gettin' some tail!" Angel Roy's eyes turned to bright green lasers, and he turned to look at Devil Roy.
"DON'T FUCK WITH THE TRUTH, LOREENA BOBBIT," he said loudly. Devil Roy started to cry.
"Why are you always so mean!?" he sobbed. Angel Roy's eyes went back to normal, and he smiled once more and turned to Roy.
"Samus will hate you more if she ever finds out that you were withholding the truth. So, go on! You'll feel better after," he promised. Roy nodded, then looked down, and took a deep breath.
"Samus," Roy started, "there's something I need to tell you." Samus raised a hand quickly.
"Before you do, mind if you tell me why you were thinking out loud, there? And who will hate you? And whose dick broke off?" she asked. Roy laughed a bit.
"Samus, have you ever seen those movies where out of nowhere, a devil and an angel appears on the shoulder of one of the characters, and each of them tries to tell that certain character what's best to do?" he asked. Samus grinned.
"Oh, that? That happens to me all the time!" she laughed. Roy sighed and looked down.
"Dammit, why do we have to have so much in common!? Anyway, Samus, there's something I need to tell you. You won't like this, but it . . . needs to be said, okay?" he said slowly. Samus looked interested.
"Hm? Oh, sure, Roy, you can tell me anything," she said. Roy took another deep breath.
"Okay," he started, then he told her what had happened the night before.
"HOW MANY PEOPLE WANNA KICK SOME ASS!" sang Kirby and Pikachu as they ran through the- wait a second! What the fuck! That's a Stroke 9 song, you asses! You're supposed to be singing some Blink 182! Kirby and Pikachu stopped abruptly. "Fuck you," they said in unison, then carried on with their song and their running down the hallway. They kicked open the door to Roy's, Pichu's and DK's dorm, and witnessed Roy telling Samus some stuff.
"And I know it was wrong, pairing up Link and Marth like that and breaking your heart-" he said to a crying Samus. He quickly turned to see Kirby and Pikachu - decked out fully in ninja attire and carrying sharpened bamboo sticks - standing by the door.
"Get the FUCK out!" he shouted, hopping off the top bunk and running to shoo Kirby and Pikachu out the door.
"Where's Pichu?" demanded Kirby. Roy shoved the two out the door.
"How the fuck should I know!? I don't keep tabs on him! This room was empty when we got in here, hence why we are having a private conversation in here! For fucks sakes, there was a rubber band on the door! Last time I checked, that meant that privacy was desired!" he yelled. Pikachu snorted.
"You dumbass! That may work in college, but it doesn't work here!" he laughed. Roy pushed the two once more.
"OUT!" he finished, running back into the door, then slamming it and locking it.
"Damn," said Kirby. "Well, what do we do now?" The camera zoomed right in on Pikachu's face like it usually does in movies when the character is about to say something witty, such as "it's show time" or "let's go".
"I haven't got the fucking slightest," he said.
Yoshi woke up next to a rather large form. He giggled to himself, knowing who it was, even though he was having a massive hangover. He turned over and put his arm around the form, when suddenly, he realized something.
There was another form next to him.
Being the dragon-sandwich he was, Yoshi spun around in the bed and looked into the face of . . . well . . . quite honestly, Yoshi didn't know who the fuck it was. All he knew, was that it was decidedly female.
Wait a second, female?!
Yoshi snapped up quickly, then looked to Ganondorf and shook him awake. Slowly, the G-Dorf Meister (hey! Hey! I just thought up a nickname for him! Doesn't that rule! BOOOYA!!) rose from the bed, and looked to the side at Yoshi. A grin spread quickly over his face.
"Hey, pumpkin!" he said, grabbing Yoshi and squeezing him in a hug. "Sleep well? I sure as fuck didn't. Hangover." Yoshi gulped.
"Uhm, Gannie? There's another person in bed with us," he whimpered. Ganondorf grinned a bit.
"Is he cute?" he asked with a giggle. Yoshi's eyes widened, then became slightly sad.
"For one thing, he is a SHE," he muttered, watching the G-Dorf Meister's eyes quickly grow to the size of fully-ripened tomatoes. "And for another . . . what the hell!? I thought you only had eyes for me!" Yoshi whimpered. The G-Dorf Meister gulped.
"Yeah, yeah I do, but . . . gahhh let's just see who it is," he muttered, slipping his arm around Yoshi's waist then leaning over to pull down the sheets. He did so quickly, and a look of shock flew onto the faces of both the G-Dorf Meister (huhuhu, man I rule) and Yoshi like a glob of pizza dough being flung onto the ceiling of a pizzaria by a new person who's about to be fired after his first fifteen minutes on the job.
"Gah! I can't believe it!" Yoshi screamed.
"The horror! THE HORROR!" The G-Dorf Meister whimpered, shielding his eyes.
"Hey guys, what's up?" giggled Birdo. Yoshi took a giant bound from the bed and ran screaming like a little bitch into the hallway.
I sat in the bed beside Ness, crying. Crying very hard. Dammit, I even had hiccups. That sucked. And it was emb-right, on with the story.
"What's wrong, Nekonezume? Last night you were clinging onto me, saying 'Ness, fuck me'! What changed?" Ness questioned in a rather confused tone. I looked over at him with a look that I'm sure would kill myself, were I looking in the mirror.
. . . okay, did that make any sense? Because what I meant was - right, on with the story.
"Ness, I have a boyfriend at home who I love, okay? And I was drunk as a skunk who was having unprotected sex and doing interveinous drugs at the same time. Even though I don't normally drink and I'm a virgin and - you get the point, right?" I growled. Ness shrugged.
"Okay. I'll go find that cute Phyllis chick from Animal Crossing now," he said with a somewhat evil grin. I made a face.
"Dude, what the fuck!? Phyllis is a pelican! Dude, you are nasty!" I exclaimed, shaking my head so that my hair (which was sticking out in every direction at this time) flopped about and whapped me in the face a few times. It kinda hurt. Ness shrugged.
"It's all the same to me, so long as I'm getting some," he said. I pushed him off the bed, making him bash his skull mightily against the floor, and then I ran out of the room (butt naked, man! I sure wish I had even grabbed a BLANKET! Man did I get a lot of stares. . . .) and sped down the hallway.
Fox and Falco woke up next to Jamey and Kiara (dude, they were in separate beds, naturally!). Since neither of them had been drunk the night before, they both speedily recollected the events of the previous night.
Life is sweet, they both thought with grins on their faces. That's kind of creepy! Their simultaneous thoughts, that is. Especially since they were in different rooms.
Y'Link awoke on Jugga's hand and quickly stood up. He looked into the eyes of the robust (okay, that is an UNDERSTATEMENT) woman and grinned toothily. And dopily. And rather stupidly. Damn. Men.
"It wasn't a dream! You're really . . . real!" he gasped, his eyes going all googly. Jugga giggled.
"Pretty boy have banana in pants," she laughed. Y'Link's eyes widened, and he looked down. Abruptly, his face gleamed a rather becoming shade of crimson. Too bad it clashed with his tunic.
Damn thermal expansion! he thought.
END OF CHAPTER SEVEN
A/N: I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY!!!
*cough* That aside.
I gravely apologize to EVERYONE. I know. I know. I took the summer off. I'm sorry. I had severe writer's block. But I'm okay now. I'm motivated. The juices are flowing.
Wooooooo fuck!! I'm soooo sorry!
I'll remind you all that I only write when I'm motivated, so if I'm taking awhile, just let it go at its own pace, okie? Don't worry, I wouldn't ever NOT-FINISH a fanfic ^_~.
By the by, I would like to announce that the OFFICIAL SSBM:E forum is now open! Go to http://pub63.ezboard.com/fpoedteenfrm18 and check it out! ^^. Also, check out the other forums while you're there, and post around if you like! Invite others, too! And post some junk!
And yes, the whole Angel Roy-Devil Roy thing was stolen from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back :P. That movie was the shiot, man! Fuck fuck fuck, motha motha fuck, motha motha fuck fuck . . . woooo sorry :P.
Right, if you want to know what all the Portugese was, go to http://world.altavista.com. I will warn you now that Altavista sucks at translating and much of it will make no sense
Next chapter is the last one! But no fears . . . there will be an epilogue! In the meantime, check out ze messageboard!