Part 2 of Three Days
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.
Author: Nathaly.
Pairing: Vejiita x Goku.
Warnings: bad English, angst, drama, male x male relationship, language, clichés.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective copyright holders.
Thanks to Slam for beta-ing.
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Goku woke up from a not too deep slumber. He kept dozing, because he didn't feel like doing anything, when he smelled cigarette smoke. He hated the pungent smell that was crawling in every little corner of the room. Even the couch smelled of cigarette smoke. Looking up over the back of the couch he spotted Vejiita leaning against a board, apparently enjoying a cigarette.
"Vejiita, it smells terribly. Why do you smoke?"
Vejiita just shrugged. It was his house anyway.
"Arghh." Goku mumbled to himself, pulling Vejiita's shirt up over his nose.
---------
.
The rest of the day Goku hadn't done much. He felt paralyzed. Mostly he'd been following Vejiita, watching him do whatever he did. Goku wanted to prevent being left alone. He wondered briefly if Vejiita was keeping to his normal daily routine, or if he was acting differently because of him being at the prince's house. The house had a sort of gravity chamber adjoined, though it wasn't as big as the one at C.C. 'Vegeta has always needed the higher gravity to train', Goku thought, while he himself had always been content to, and had even enjoyed training in the open countryside. The prince didn't mind to being locked in a room all day. Maybe it was an old habit from the life on Vejiita-sei or the permanent residence in space ships. Goku had never really asked.
Now, in the evening, they were sitting on the couch and the TV was on. Vejiita noticed the third-class warrior being very quiet. He wasn't even complaining about the smoking anymore. At times, during the day, Goku had been watching him intensively one moment and staring into the air as if his thoughts were very far away the next.
Later, Vejiita had found the earth-raised Saiyajin standing outside motionless and soaking wet. The wind had brought dark heavy clouds and in the afternoon it had started to pour. The prince had stood in the doorway telling him to come in, and Goku had obeyed without saying anything. He hadn't made a move to dry himself until Vejiita had thrown a towel at him.
Vejiita got up from the couch.
"Vejiita."
Vejiita looked at the third-class warrior. Big, frightened, pleading eyes were fixated on him.
"Please stay."
Vejiita paused, nearly automatically. He hadn't missed the light trembling in the weak voice. The Saiyajin prince let himself fall back on the couch with a bump.
"Don't leave me alone, please." Goku couldn't stop the tears welling up again. In an effort to comfort himself he pulled up his knees and snuggled up against the back of the couch. Goku felt lonely. He had tried to shove the feelings away, to distract himself, but the mechanism didn't function. He thought 'It's raining. I have to bring the fire-wood into the house.', and then it clicked and he realized that it wasn't important anymore.
'Get away from the boys.'
'One never really knows another person.'
The words wouldn't get out of his mind. The emptiness that spread out before him was alarming.
He had always thought he belonged here, on Earth. His power was greater than that of the others, but he had never considered himself to be better than anyone of the Z fighters or anybody else. That was one thing Goku really was sure of.
He had never felt like an alien. Now he couldn't deny it anymore. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. It frightened him. It was creeping up from deep inside and spreading throughout his body like ice-cold water.
Goku watched the silhouettes of him and Vejiita on the wall beside the couch. The angle of the light made his head appear so gigantic compared to the smaller shadow of Vejiita's form who sat in more distance to the light.
He let himself fall to the side and bowed his head to touch Vejiita's right arm lightly. "Vejiita ..." Carefully, like a wounded animal that feared to be pushed away every moment, Goku touched the fabric of Vejiita's sleeve- long shirt with his cheek.
Vejiita got along with everything so well. He was so confident and proud, Goku thought. He and the prince weren't rivals anymore. They weren't friends either. They hadn't seen each other the last two years. The prince had never been particularly nice to him. Though Goku hadn't hesitated to go to him. What was the definition of friendship anyway?
Goku was nuzzling at Vejiita, shyly at first, but then more and more fierce and desperate. He placed a light kiss on Vejiita's chest. It was joined by a second one, a third one, each kiss more firm than the one before.
But it wasn't enough.
Goku was sliding over the prince's body feverishly, hunted, never resting at one point, trying to touch and kiss each part at the same time.
"Please ... Please ... Please ...Please ..." Goku repeated over and over again, not knowing what he was begging for or what he tried to find. Closeness. Warmth maybe.
Vejiita didn't move. Goku's large form was pressed quite heavy against his body, but Vejiita didn't react. He was surprised, though he didn't feel threatened. He let it happen. Why? He didn't know. Though after a few seconds he had to shift his body, because Goku touched some places that no one had touched for a very long time.
Goku didn't stop his frantic outburst. He wanted to feel the warm skin. And he didn't hesitate to pull Vejiita's shirt out of his pants to get there and to smell it.
Vejiita touched Goku's shoulders with his hands. Goku jumped up, like he had burned himself. He looked straight into Vejiita's eyes. "Do you fear me, Vejiita?"
Vejiita lifted one eyebrow. There was nearly panic written in the other's eyes. "The prince of all Saiyajins never fears a third-class warrior. You should know that" Vejiita stated in his usual arrogant firm tone.
Goku showed his first little smile after long. Vejiita was using his pathetic phrases. It was his usual insult, but it comforted him. It calmed him. His world stood upside down but this was a constant in his life that wouldn't change. He trusted Vejiita in this point. Goku knew that Vejiita had never been afraid of him, no matter if he was Goku or Kakarott.
Yesterday.
He had seen fear in the eyes of their faces. Eyes could be so tell-tale. He had felt like a monster and wished he wasn't a Saiyajin.
Yesterday.
Yesterday morning everything had been ok. It seemed so long ago. But in reality it was only one day. "I saw the fear in their eyes" Goku tried to explain.
"I know, I'm the bad guy." Vejiita suddenly said out of nowhere.
"What?" Goku didn't understand what the prince was trying to tell him. "You're not the bad guy."
Vejiita smiled weakly, breathing out loudly through his nose. "Kakarott."
The prince knew so many ways to pronounce his name, each one was expressing another insult. Goku knew them all by heart. This time it meant "Don't be ridiculous." How could a person be so familiar and yet so different at the same time, Goku thought. The earth raised Saiyajin didn't reply. Sometimes it was best to wait and not interrupt Vejiita when you wanted him to go on.
"I wanted them fear me, and they feared me." Vejiita said slowly and after a while he added, "You can't prevent it anyway?"
"I never gave them cause to fear me. What did I wrong? I don't know what I did wrong. I think and think and I can't find anything." Goku had clenched his fists without noticing it.
"You didn't do anything, Kakarott" Vejiita replied nearly soothingly.
"Yes, I did. I must have done something."
"You don't believe me?"
"I ... I don't know." Goku said uncertainly. "I can't believe that ..."
"... it was all a lie? You better."
"I just can't."
Vejiita was angry. After all that had happened Kakarott still was blaming himself. The Earthlings just couldn't handle a Saiyajin. Vejiita knew that. Always had.
Goku didn't want this to be true. How should he live on? Goku realized he had never wondered how Vejiita was living with this. Nothing seemed to bother him, like he stood above it all.
Goku had never talked with the prince about such things. "How do you live with it?" He asked.
"Live with what?"
Goku didn't know how to express it. "Aren't you lonely?"
"Ya."
Goku glanced at the prince unbelievingly. He hadn't expected that answer. He was surprised; not that the prince was lonely, but that he admitted it so easily. He had thought to hear a harsh negation.
The prince laughed dryly. "You didn't expect that?" He looked into Goku eyes.
"No."
"Isn't everyone?" Vejiita asked, but it wasn't really a question.
Goku studied Vejiita's face. It held no mockery. Maybe loneliness was something normal to Vejiita. Something like 'Sure I have to go to the toilet'. No great deal to admit it.
"You just live with it, Kakarott." Vejiita stated. He was tired, physical tired to. But he somewhat didn't want to leave Kakarott alone. He had sworn he wouldn't let the third-class warrior break down. Maybe they could eat something, though it was way past midnight. Kakarott hadn't eaten much all day.
---------
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"How is Trunks doing?" Goku mumbled with his mouth full.
Vejiita laughed to himself. Good, the appetite of the third-class warrior was back. Maybe Goku was getting a little bit better. "I don't know." He answered.
"The last time I saw him he was fighting Goten. He did pretty well, Goten really had a hard time."
"Yes, he's gotten pretty fast."
"You know?"
"Hmm."
"You watched him, didn't you?" Goku tried to read Vejiita's face. He didn't get an answer. "Does he know it?"
"No."
Trunks was living with his grandparents. They adored him, he was all that was left from their daughter. Bulma's mother spoiled him from early morning till late in the evening. Trunks was "her little darling" and she would be damned if he was lacking only the slightest. He had been through much, and the blonde haired lady didn't want him to forget but to make him his life as pleasant as possible.
Goku thought about his own family. Chichi had thrown ugly insults at him. He didn't know what she had said to the two boys, and he hadn't managed to talk to them himself. He feared that he would loose their respect, maybe he had already. Goku felt his stomach turn and he laid the other half of the sandwich back onto the plate. It was so hopeless. Couldn't he just stop thinking?
Vejiita couldn't watch him anymore, enough was enough. "What's up, Kakarott?" he asked.
"I don't know. I was just thinking of my two sons, and then I wondered what they might been thinking of their father." Goku explained.
.
.
Author: Nathaly.
Pairing: Vejiita x Goku.
Warnings: bad English, angst, drama, male x male relationship, language, clichés.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective copyright holders.
Thanks to Slam for beta-ing.
.
.
Goku woke up from a not too deep slumber. He kept dozing, because he didn't feel like doing anything, when he smelled cigarette smoke. He hated the pungent smell that was crawling in every little corner of the room. Even the couch smelled of cigarette smoke. Looking up over the back of the couch he spotted Vejiita leaning against a board, apparently enjoying a cigarette.
"Vejiita, it smells terribly. Why do you smoke?"
Vejiita just shrugged. It was his house anyway.
"Arghh." Goku mumbled to himself, pulling Vejiita's shirt up over his nose.
---------
.
The rest of the day Goku hadn't done much. He felt paralyzed. Mostly he'd been following Vejiita, watching him do whatever he did. Goku wanted to prevent being left alone. He wondered briefly if Vejiita was keeping to his normal daily routine, or if he was acting differently because of him being at the prince's house. The house had a sort of gravity chamber adjoined, though it wasn't as big as the one at C.C. 'Vegeta has always needed the higher gravity to train', Goku thought, while he himself had always been content to, and had even enjoyed training in the open countryside. The prince didn't mind to being locked in a room all day. Maybe it was an old habit from the life on Vejiita-sei or the permanent residence in space ships. Goku had never really asked.
Now, in the evening, they were sitting on the couch and the TV was on. Vejiita noticed the third-class warrior being very quiet. He wasn't even complaining about the smoking anymore. At times, during the day, Goku had been watching him intensively one moment and staring into the air as if his thoughts were very far away the next.
Later, Vejiita had found the earth-raised Saiyajin standing outside motionless and soaking wet. The wind had brought dark heavy clouds and in the afternoon it had started to pour. The prince had stood in the doorway telling him to come in, and Goku had obeyed without saying anything. He hadn't made a move to dry himself until Vejiita had thrown a towel at him.
Vejiita got up from the couch.
"Vejiita."
Vejiita looked at the third-class warrior. Big, frightened, pleading eyes were fixated on him.
"Please stay."
Vejiita paused, nearly automatically. He hadn't missed the light trembling in the weak voice. The Saiyajin prince let himself fall back on the couch with a bump.
"Don't leave me alone, please." Goku couldn't stop the tears welling up again. In an effort to comfort himself he pulled up his knees and snuggled up against the back of the couch. Goku felt lonely. He had tried to shove the feelings away, to distract himself, but the mechanism didn't function. He thought 'It's raining. I have to bring the fire-wood into the house.', and then it clicked and he realized that it wasn't important anymore.
'Get away from the boys.'
'One never really knows another person.'
The words wouldn't get out of his mind. The emptiness that spread out before him was alarming.
He had always thought he belonged here, on Earth. His power was greater than that of the others, but he had never considered himself to be better than anyone of the Z fighters or anybody else. That was one thing Goku really was sure of.
He had never felt like an alien. Now he couldn't deny it anymore. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. It frightened him. It was creeping up from deep inside and spreading throughout his body like ice-cold water.
Goku watched the silhouettes of him and Vejiita on the wall beside the couch. The angle of the light made his head appear so gigantic compared to the smaller shadow of Vejiita's form who sat in more distance to the light.
He let himself fall to the side and bowed his head to touch Vejiita's right arm lightly. "Vejiita ..." Carefully, like a wounded animal that feared to be pushed away every moment, Goku touched the fabric of Vejiita's sleeve- long shirt with his cheek.
Vejiita got along with everything so well. He was so confident and proud, Goku thought. He and the prince weren't rivals anymore. They weren't friends either. They hadn't seen each other the last two years. The prince had never been particularly nice to him. Though Goku hadn't hesitated to go to him. What was the definition of friendship anyway?
Goku was nuzzling at Vejiita, shyly at first, but then more and more fierce and desperate. He placed a light kiss on Vejiita's chest. It was joined by a second one, a third one, each kiss more firm than the one before.
But it wasn't enough.
Goku was sliding over the prince's body feverishly, hunted, never resting at one point, trying to touch and kiss each part at the same time.
"Please ... Please ... Please ...Please ..." Goku repeated over and over again, not knowing what he was begging for or what he tried to find. Closeness. Warmth maybe.
Vejiita didn't move. Goku's large form was pressed quite heavy against his body, but Vejiita didn't react. He was surprised, though he didn't feel threatened. He let it happen. Why? He didn't know. Though after a few seconds he had to shift his body, because Goku touched some places that no one had touched for a very long time.
Goku didn't stop his frantic outburst. He wanted to feel the warm skin. And he didn't hesitate to pull Vejiita's shirt out of his pants to get there and to smell it.
Vejiita touched Goku's shoulders with his hands. Goku jumped up, like he had burned himself. He looked straight into Vejiita's eyes. "Do you fear me, Vejiita?"
Vejiita lifted one eyebrow. There was nearly panic written in the other's eyes. "The prince of all Saiyajins never fears a third-class warrior. You should know that" Vejiita stated in his usual arrogant firm tone.
Goku showed his first little smile after long. Vejiita was using his pathetic phrases. It was his usual insult, but it comforted him. It calmed him. His world stood upside down but this was a constant in his life that wouldn't change. He trusted Vejiita in this point. Goku knew that Vejiita had never been afraid of him, no matter if he was Goku or Kakarott.
Yesterday.
He had seen fear in the eyes of their faces. Eyes could be so tell-tale. He had felt like a monster and wished he wasn't a Saiyajin.
Yesterday.
Yesterday morning everything had been ok. It seemed so long ago. But in reality it was only one day. "I saw the fear in their eyes" Goku tried to explain.
"I know, I'm the bad guy." Vejiita suddenly said out of nowhere.
"What?" Goku didn't understand what the prince was trying to tell him. "You're not the bad guy."
Vejiita smiled weakly, breathing out loudly through his nose. "Kakarott."
The prince knew so many ways to pronounce his name, each one was expressing another insult. Goku knew them all by heart. This time it meant "Don't be ridiculous." How could a person be so familiar and yet so different at the same time, Goku thought. The earth raised Saiyajin didn't reply. Sometimes it was best to wait and not interrupt Vejiita when you wanted him to go on.
"I wanted them fear me, and they feared me." Vejiita said slowly and after a while he added, "You can't prevent it anyway?"
"I never gave them cause to fear me. What did I wrong? I don't know what I did wrong. I think and think and I can't find anything." Goku had clenched his fists without noticing it.
"You didn't do anything, Kakarott" Vejiita replied nearly soothingly.
"Yes, I did. I must have done something."
"You don't believe me?"
"I ... I don't know." Goku said uncertainly. "I can't believe that ..."
"... it was all a lie? You better."
"I just can't."
Vejiita was angry. After all that had happened Kakarott still was blaming himself. The Earthlings just couldn't handle a Saiyajin. Vejiita knew that. Always had.
Goku didn't want this to be true. How should he live on? Goku realized he had never wondered how Vejiita was living with this. Nothing seemed to bother him, like he stood above it all.
Goku had never talked with the prince about such things. "How do you live with it?" He asked.
"Live with what?"
Goku didn't know how to express it. "Aren't you lonely?"
"Ya."
Goku glanced at the prince unbelievingly. He hadn't expected that answer. He was surprised; not that the prince was lonely, but that he admitted it so easily. He had thought to hear a harsh negation.
The prince laughed dryly. "You didn't expect that?" He looked into Goku eyes.
"No."
"Isn't everyone?" Vejiita asked, but it wasn't really a question.
Goku studied Vejiita's face. It held no mockery. Maybe loneliness was something normal to Vejiita. Something like 'Sure I have to go to the toilet'. No great deal to admit it.
"You just live with it, Kakarott." Vejiita stated. He was tired, physical tired to. But he somewhat didn't want to leave Kakarott alone. He had sworn he wouldn't let the third-class warrior break down. Maybe they could eat something, though it was way past midnight. Kakarott hadn't eaten much all day.
---------
.
"How is Trunks doing?" Goku mumbled with his mouth full.
Vejiita laughed to himself. Good, the appetite of the third-class warrior was back. Maybe Goku was getting a little bit better. "I don't know." He answered.
"The last time I saw him he was fighting Goten. He did pretty well, Goten really had a hard time."
"Yes, he's gotten pretty fast."
"You know?"
"Hmm."
"You watched him, didn't you?" Goku tried to read Vejiita's face. He didn't get an answer. "Does he know it?"
"No."
Trunks was living with his grandparents. They adored him, he was all that was left from their daughter. Bulma's mother spoiled him from early morning till late in the evening. Trunks was "her little darling" and she would be damned if he was lacking only the slightest. He had been through much, and the blonde haired lady didn't want him to forget but to make him his life as pleasant as possible.
Goku thought about his own family. Chichi had thrown ugly insults at him. He didn't know what she had said to the two boys, and he hadn't managed to talk to them himself. He feared that he would loose their respect, maybe he had already. Goku felt his stomach turn and he laid the other half of the sandwich back onto the plate. It was so hopeless. Couldn't he just stop thinking?
Vejiita couldn't watch him anymore, enough was enough. "What's up, Kakarott?" he asked.
"I don't know. I was just thinking of my two sons, and then I wondered what they might been thinking of their father." Goku explained.