A/N: This chapter contains events that some readers will no doubt be ticked with me for. If you can't possibly read this without a flame, then please, indulge your Inner Critic and tell me I did bad. I sort of expect some. But otherwise, could you just leave me a review? They're so lovely to read to my new kitten.
By the way, I have a kitten now. Cats are lovely things, aren't they?

Chapter 59: Profoundest Shocks

                  "They'll stone you when you're tryin' to be so good! They'll stone you jes' like they said they would! They'll stone you when you're tryin' to go home. And they'll stone you when you're there all alone. But I would not feel so all alone! Ev'rybody mus' get stoned!"
                  -Bob Dylan, 'Rainy Day Women #12 & 35'

It had been three uneventful days since the delay had been announced, and the restlessness of being in a foreign land for no reason had already taken hold of Julie and Chloe. Consequently they had taken Aldous and Uncle Ron off for a little bit of a shopping trip. Mitchie was personally a little too tired to go, having stayed up late as was her wont for the past week and a half. Aldous had insisted on guarding Julie's door or having it guarded to prevent any kind of nocturnal impropriety, and the werewolf was simply more of a night person than anybody else. This was not to say that she kept odd hours, merely that she rose promptly every day at the crack of noon.

Mitchie knew something was amiss with Jen. One simply did not sit in the sun and play Tori Amos songs all day without a damn good reason, in her opinion. And it wasn't like Jen could claim getting a tan as an excuse. She was still as pale as ever, perhaps even more so, now that dark circles and red-rimmed eyes had appeared as part of her countenance. Mitch privately suspected Jen had a crush on her teacher, and was therefore heartbroken by Aldous' discovery. In fact, she was certain the ex-Slytherin liked Malfoy. It was perfectly logical! The American glanced out of the hotel window and picked up her guitar. Jen was already by the pool with her bass.

"'Mawnin', mawnin' glory, would y' like ta' know where was I las' night?'" Mitchie quoted in a ridiculous Southern drawl, startling Jen right in the middle of what sounded like a particularly tragic song.

"What?" Jen queried, looking profoundly surprised to see anybody there. "Could you sod off the sneaking behind me, Mitch?"

"If you'll quit actin' like Lennon just died again."

"I thought Lenin was an evil Russian dictator."

"Lenin was but Lennon wasn't."

"There were two brothers?"

"Merciful peace, Jen! The Beatles, the one wearing green on the Sergeant Pepper cover!" Mitchie slapped herself in the forehead theatrically. "And you call yourself English," she added as an afterthought.

"What are you on about, Yank?" Jen asked testily, tightening her hand around the neck of the bass as if she planned to use it as an axe.

"Well, you've been acting like the worst case of Eponine's Disease that I've ever seen…"

"Eponine's Disease?"

"My god, don't you even read French novels?"

"You don't."

"I know. But I saw the musical." The American sighed and grabbed a chair next to Jen's, lifting her guitar into position ready to play. "Eponine was the single most pathetic female character in all of Victor Hugo, with the possible exception of that weakling in 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame.'"

"The gypsy one?"

"Yeah! Feminism, anyone? Sisterhood?" Mitchie noticed the leftover takeout box and grabbed a chopstick to impale some General Tso's chicken. "Anyway, this chick Eponine lives this positively miserable life, because you know, everybody in that book did, and then she develops this hopeless crush on a student guy who's always nice to her."

"Really? How clever. Hugo must have been really original," Jen observed with sarcasm dripping from every pore.

"I know! And anyway, the student guy was in absolutely nauseating love with this other girl, that Eponine's parents mistreated as a kid an' all, -didn't have a spine, either, none of Hugo's females did- and so she goes with him to the revolutionaries' barricade and leaps in front of a gun to save his life an' all."

"That is pathetic."

"That's not the worst of it. He finds her bleeding on the ground and she insists that it doesn't hurt, and she's all comforted to see him again, and she gives him the letter from the other chick, not that it's important, and then she asks him to kiss her after she's dead."

"Oh, my god! That is awful!"

"And then when she's been still for a few seconds, she's like, 'And then you know, I believe I was a little in love with you.'"

"A little?" Jen was finally laughing again. "Bugger, she just up and got shot for him!"

The two girls spent a few minutes laughing hysterically and munching the chicken until Jen suddenly went serious:

"And you're saying I'm acting pathetic, then?"

"Ever so slightly," Mitchie admitted bluntly. "I mean, I don't disagree with you on the looks, and you're clearly not the first person to get the crush. But Julie seems really happy with him, y'know?"

Jen looked at the American as if seeing her for the first time. She had figured it out, and what was more, she had just about admitted to similar feelings!

Suddenly, the ex-Slytherin began considering matters a bit differently. The Yank scarcely ever looked anything less than scruffy, and apart from occasions of absolute necessity requiring the school uniforms, Mitchie wasn't very keen on skirts. She had also forsaken the light swipe of eyeshadow in an effort both to disgust the fastidious Chloe and in the name of expedience since they had left Hogwarts. She was decidedly liberated, being almost as much the ardent feminist as Professor McGonagall, and easily the closest example of rock-star hedonism personified. Mitch even played guitar and quoted ancient lyrics!

True, yes, she was dating Donaghan. But the Scotwolf was presently miles away! And what Lyff had forced her to read of bestiality had the nerve to come dancing into her mind again.

A werewolf.

A cute werewolf.

It wasn't even that Mitchie was abnormally pretty, but the dark red hair and mature figure did have their good points. And Jen had always had a great liking for less-than-pureblooded, if not downright rough-edged people. What was more, the American had taught her to play the bass. They were friends, now, closer than she could have hoped.

"Seriously, Jen, it's nothing really to be worried about or ashamed of…"

"No, Michelle, it isn't," Jen agreed quietly.

The next thing Mitchie knew, she was being kissed. She wasn't exactly the world's expert on the practice, but it wasn't too bad and impassioned enough that she didn't pull away.

But it was Jen!

Thousands of miles away in Australia, a koala fell on it's ass and made a little 'eep' sound of surprise. About fifty feet away behind a shrubbery, Donaghan received the shock of his life.

These two events were marginally unrelated.

Mitchie succeeded in pulling away from her friend just long enough to give her a look of total astonishment and stammer out an incoherent "Um-?" before Jen was pulling her closer with a hand at the back of her neck and another on her shoulder. She really was incredibly good at kissing. Had it been any human on the face of the earth besides Jen, or any other male person, Mitchie would probably have relaxed under this treatment, but the little mental alarms were all exploding into bits.

'This is highly incorrect!' the little English voice in her head told her.

Donaghan's mental voice, on the other hand, was about as incoherent as Mitchie's physical one as she had tried to protest or ask what was going on. He should have felt terribly betrayed, and would have had it been anyone but Jen. But another girl up and snogging his girlfriend? Gods, he had known she was attractive, but even to other females? This was mind-boggling! He wanted to make her react to him the way Jen was acting now, or maybe just watch them a little more to see if anything came of it. He wanted those clothes off, her hair loose, to touch her…

'Merlin's arse! Thinking with the wrong brain, are we?' his mental voice chastised.

The Scotsman watched, blushing, as Mitchie said something to Jen that could only be an apology, then left in the direction of their hotel rooms. His heart broke for the ex-Slytherin, who very calmly and quietly nodded and let the other girl go before sitting frozenly where she was.

Rather than make her intensely uncomfortable, Donaghan took the gentleman's way out by going around to the side door and racing to beat his girlfriend to her quarters.

Or maybe not so gentlemanly, considering what he was now giving some serious thought to doing once he got there.