Disclaimer: Yeah, He's still my husband. Sorry gals! J/k ( yeah, right, can't you just imagine how we'd all fight over him? I imagine he'd get so frustrated he'd send us all to the torture chamber LOL) Waaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa Dotv is previewing tonight and I can't be there and *sniff sniff* it's not fair!!!
Chicketieboo: Aww I didn't abandon it. I just let the muse come on it's own. That's part of the reason I really need to post some of my other stuff so you won't think I've dropped of the poto planet.
Meg sighed, staring out the immense window at the snow glistening on the ground as the moon shone down upon it. Christine was more confident near the light of the window, gravitating towards the light as if her life depended upon it. Why was she so scared of the dark? It was almost a childish fear that something would come out and grab her!
"So Meg, why are we here? What is it that you needed to discuss?" Christine desperately wanted to return to Erik, as much as she loved her friend. It was just the dark, she decided, the dark which threatened to claim her.
"It is my father…." Megan said, beginning to pace the floor.
"Your father, Megan? I'm sorry… tell me about it, for you know you can always tell me anything." Christine said, looking away to the window again, watching snowflake after snowflake fall to the ground, amazed at how soothing just window watching could be.
"It is not just that, it is my mother as well. I argued with her today, found out things, that maybe I shouldn't have. The worst of it was finding out, that without her telling me, my mother still loved the man. The man who could have made our family perfect, but didn't. A coward. I have never seen anything of love that will ever make me want to be in love. Ever. All the glittering examples have proven to me that nothing ever ends happily." She said sarcastically.
Christine understood that she meant her choices in love as well, and hid her feelings of shock inside herself so that it did not show. "That is not true of everyone. There are some who marry and love forever."
Megan laughed at that. "How can that be possible. Forgive me for sounding profoundly rude, but all your expertise comes from fairy tales and…your father. You can't chose whom you love, you will forever be a slave to Erik and Raoul."
She took a big breath, not ready to answer this truth or any other thing that ever came out of Megan Giry's mouth. "My father loved my mother for all his days as if that isn't proof enough, Meg. He couldn't ever love anyone else. I know plenty of love. I knew it from him and others. You know it from your mother. As for love, I will not be a slave. I will chose who rules my heart."
"If Raoul were alive, would you be here, Christine?"
"Raoul is dead! If he were alive, yes, we would be wed! We would have lots of children, a nice place to live, and our love to live upon if there were no money!" Christine looked towards the ground.. "I love them both, you understand...I do."
"No, you do not love Erik. You love Raoul, you only think you love Erik. He is the alternative since Raoul is gone. Don't you see Christine, you are dependent upon men?" Megan shouted, almost wanting to ring her friends neck.
Christine stomped, almost hissing at Megan. Now her friend had gone too far. "You're acting just like everyone else. Go on, think the worst of me! I don't care! "
"You never answered my question, Christine. Would you be here if Raoul was alive? Would you even give me or anyone else a second glance or thought?"
Christine broke down in tears, moving away and going into the darkness so she could cry in private. "No….No, I wouldn't be here, but I'd still be your friend. I'd always be your friend. And I would always want Erik. Why couldn't I have been two people? One, that could have loved Erik as he wished, and the other who could have loved Raoul for the rest of her days? Meg, I know your mother's heart. Firmin is a good man, despite his past. Erik despite his past…. Oh I know all of the horrible things he's done, and I don't care. I love him, in my own way. I am growing to love him more with time. I am not dependent on him. If you hadn't found me, I would have thought he was dead. I would have lived my life and never loved another soul. For two men who loved me was plenty enough for me."
"Christine, I am sorry. I am sorry…I have never been so sorry in my life. I've broken the two women in my life I care about most." Megan sighed, coming to Christine. "I never have had a good temper, and now, I just hurt everyone when I open my mouth. Let me walk you back to Erik, I don't….think I can ever repair this tonight, can I?"
Christine's body was racked in tears. She wanted Erik, right this minute to put his arms around her, to rock her until there were no tears left in her mind or her heart. She did love Erik-she did! She put her head on her knees and sobbed aloud. "I forgive you-Meg……because…..I care about you….you are the best friend I've ever had, and the most honest person I'll ever know in my life."
Megan wanted desperately to hide away from anyone and everyone, until everything blew over and it would be alright again. "Then what would make you happy right now? Could you tell me that? What would make you happy for the rest of your life? I know my mother is happy, but a part of me dies just looking at the forlorn look she gets. I never knew why she was always so harsh with me when I was younger, and I know what it is now. She did it to keep me closer to her. And I make her happy. But what makes you happy, Christine Daae? What makes you happy? "
"That isn't dead and gone? Erik. Erik makes me happy, in a quiet way. He would never let harm come to me, never. He always provided for me, even if he was blatantly honest, like you. I never saw how much I hurt him. Part of what I felt for him stirred when I kissed him. Part of me grew up forever, and when I saw Raoul, I just didn't want to think about it. I loved Raoul, with a child's heart, full of innocence, and peace. What I feel for Erik…is yearning, wanting to be understood, wanting to know that someone will always be there for me. And he would, he pledged his life to me. I haven't a soul to depend upon besides you, and Erik. It's not much, and there never has been many in my life to talk to. Please, let's be friends now, and forget it, alright, Megan?" Christine sat and wiped the tears from her face. It had seemed to her that she was always crying, that there hadn't been many happy moments in her life. She thought it was high time for some. She longed for laughter, and smiling. She stood and took Megan's hand.
"Let me take you back to Erik tonight, and we'll talk about this all...well…I would have said morning, but it must be close to that now. We will talk about this later, after we've all had a big amount of rest. I Promise never to snap like that ever again."
Christine waved it away. "Yes, let's talk about it then."
"Are you sure that I can leave you with Erik? Do you trust him?" Megan asked, inwardly shivering even though she had what she felt layers of clothes on. The man still scared her to death.
"Yes Megan. I care about Erik very much. No, he would never harm me. I am safe there." Determined not to have another argument, she eagerly thought of how soon it would be until they were to Mme. Giry's office and she could talk to him again.
"Good, then you won't mind if I wait outside that door to tell you goodnight." Megan chuckled softly. "My days of being fascinated about the Opera ghost are long gone."
"What a pity, I enjoyed your stories. I know you're still afraid, I won't blame you for that. It's alright." Christine put a hand on her friend's shoulder in a sweet gesture.
The darkened halls gave off a glow of their own, and Megan remembered all the lovely stories she used to make up with the other ballet rats about him coming down the halls, eyes aglow. She loved stories about the ghost, even wrote them all down in a scrapbook. That of course, was in her old doll chest, with her first pair of toe shoes, and her dolls, loved until some of them began to fall apart. "Here's mother's office. I'll just wait outside. I don't want to invoke the anger of any ghost in there." Megan smirked, pausing at the door.
Christine giggled and winked. It was if the argument they had was on it's way to fading into nothingness. "Oh a ghost is it? Maybe he's there, just a pile of sheets with eyes cut out. Or maybe….his eyes are aglow and he's coming to scare us all, and go boo in the night. That would be scary eh?"
Megan laughed. "You are forgetting the ghost also made blood pour down the walls, and hands crawl under doors."
"You would have loved my father's stories. He would have even surpassed you, I think." Christine drew her cloak closer to her as she felt a shiver go down her spine, just thinking of Megan's stories. She couldn't help it, they were frightening, even if she cared about the man behind the story.
Megan pushed Christine inside the door. "Now go on, don't make me spend all morning inside these drafty halls. I deserve a warm bed as do you. "
Christine's heart resounded with anticipation of seeing Erik's face just beyond that door. She tried not to let it show fully and walked into the room, taking off her cloak. She had came back to nothing. Had Erik not heard her say that she would return? Angry, and let down, she returned to the desk, finding a note there writing with Erik's unruly hand. Surely, he would give an explanation.
Christine,
I must leave you now, but never think for a moment that I am not with you. I cannot return for quite sometime, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to tell you the reasons why. I have given Mme. Giry enough money to provide for you a new wardrobe, and you must write to me if you've need of anything. Please put the letters in box five themselves, or give them to Mme. Giry, as she has always been my trusted friend and will see to this. It is to be our secret-this is how it has to be if we are to talk to each other. It will not be for long, Christine.
Ever yours,
Erik.
Christine dropped the letter as if it caused her hands to be on fire and then remembered to pick it back up before anyone saw it. What if they were in danger? What if someone wanted to harm Erik? She could never forgive herself if someone killed him because she had exposed him once more. She returned to Meg and hastily explained what she could, told her that she would be staying with Megan today and for a long time.
Megan smiled, knowing she would have support and things might be smoothed out as long as she had Christine as a distraction and could go to her whenever she had trouble. Things would be settled now, and Megan needed stability now more than anything. "Yes, lets find a good place to lie down and sleep, and then maybe the snow will let up. I will love going with you and seeing you try on all those pretty things. It's been so long since we've all had something fashionable to wear, something new and pretty. Times have been so rough." She tried not to mention the reason it had been, the scandal of the Opera ghost bringing down ticket sales, and because of it, little sacrifices had to be made.
"Well, I shall see that you have a new outfit or two of your own. I can't possibly see all this wasted on me. It is ridiculous." Christine tried to see the positive, knowing this would be the biggest trial of her life. She has promised to always be Erik's friend, but that was more difficult when she was away from him, barely allowed to speak with him, much less see him.
"No it isn't, it's because you're so beautiful. Really, the most fetching girl I've ever seen in Paris. You're like a pretty doll, everyone wants to see you wear the nicest things."
"I am not beautiful, but thank you for saying so." Christine commented, moving away from the door and going where Megan led her, to where her mother slept, she supposed.
"It's true!"
"It doesn't matter." Christine wanted a candle, it was so dark and dreary. Part of her was numb, with shock. What would ever make Erik leave? Was it her? Did he still care for her at all? It must have seemed forever, peeking into one room after another, searching for Mme. Giry,
"Well, " Meg said, putting her ear up to the door, " This one has to be where she's at, she's snoring away. We're safe. Let's go in and find some rest before she gets up and starts wanting practice, like she usually does."
"No girls are here Meg."
"That doesn't matter to her." Meg giggled. "I must be in top form."
Together they spread out blankets and began to get comfortable in their pallets. The warmth of the fire enveloped them both and soon Christine spotted Meg asleep, snoring softly in time with her mother. She admired the picture and finally slept, quite restlessly, her dreams taking her to where her conscious mind never would be able to do.
Christine spent the first few weeks in the opera mending costumes, it was to be her new job. It was best that way, she figured for her to keep the peace between Mme. Giry and herself. She sat in a chair most of the time, wanting a free moment to write a letter to Erik. But she could not, for her job and the errands took up a lot of her day. She was lucky to go home with Megan each day and eat something, and fall asleep.
Mme. Giry was sure of her every move, and that irritated her. Christine had been able to do whatever she had wanted for the last year and a half of her life, and for her to be coddled and watched like a toddler annoyed her. She was a grown woman, was she not?
Christine was exhausted, and hadn't sung in weeks. Singing to her had once been as necessary as breathing, but suddenly, it wasn't. Her reason for singing had left her. She mused that Erik would be highly disappointed in that, but being bent over in a chair while concentrating on carefully stitching sequins did that to one, she figured. Megan and herself hadn't had any time for their usual fun-partially because rehearsals had been just as strenuous. She tried very hard to write Erik, but could not-partially because she could never think of what quite to say.
That embarrassed her wholly. She knew what Erik would immediately think when he wanted her to write him and wouldn't. He would automatically think the worst, that she only talked kindly to him because he saved her life and so forth. She would just have to force herself to write the letter, shy or not and apologize and explain herself.
She decided to do so on her break from lunch-and give it to Mme. Giry as soon as she could, even though Mme. Giry never left the Opera house for her home until late at night. Usually, Christine was in bed long before then, and their relationship was confused and muddled at best. She knew she lived there because Megan wanted her too, but otherwise, she didn't think she wanted to know Mme. Giry's opinion on it. She did help with the housekeeping whenever she could and Megan and her could have a merry time just talking.
There had been no time for a pretty new wardrobe and nice things-she didn't know how she had become so exhausted just by her job running little errands and mending the exquisite costumes, but she had. She understood the meaning of it, to keep her from being noticed, for she knew what scandal would occur if that were so. She should be happy she had a place to stay, food to eat, and something to do, but to her that wasn't enough. She longed for the days where she spent quiet hours in Erik's home, reading, singing, and resting.
But, she thought, what else would she be doing if she were married to Raoul? No doubt they would have some children by now, and children were terribly notorious for stealing your sleep. She was sure that while he had a title, and people that could have taken care of the children, she never would have agreed to that and would have taken care of them herself.
There would never be any children of Raoul's, she thought sadly. None to take horse ridding lessons, to go to universities, and become women and men of the world. No legacy at all. There was nothing to be done about that however, and she decided to not dwell upon it. Finally her break came, and she wrote her letter hurriedly. There was only one thing she could ask, and that was-"Do you not want to be my friend anymore? Why did you leave?", and quickly she signed her name.
After a long day, she ran to Mme. Giry's office in elation. Be it a short letter, it was a start, and Christine was proud of herself. Smiling she went up to Mme, who was buried in her work.
"May you please give this to Erik?" She spoke softly, holding out the letter as if it was the most precious thing in existence to her. "He told me that I may write whenever I want to him and you would give the letter to him directly. "
"Absolutely not." Mme. Giry replied, not even looking up at Christine as she read through what was no doubt, a checks and balances book.
Christine was taken aback. What did she mean, no? Hadn't Christine done everything that Mme. Giry had wanted in the time that she had worked there? Hadn't she gave whatever money she earned to her so that she could have a place to stay? She pulled her shawl around her shoulders, trying to get some courage. "Why not? Have I done anything wrong?"
"No, child you haven't but-I am afraid that communication between you and Erik has to cease if the Opera house is to have peace once more." Mme. Giry gave her a sympathetic look.
"I promised I would write him. I've waited so long…I'm afraid he might think I do not want to be his friend anymore and-" Christine began to babble, utterly afraid of Mme. Giry. Maybe it was her stern look that made her afraid, or the way that Mme. Giry never wore a friendly color. She tried to remember that she was Megan's mother, someone who at home acted so completely kind to Megan-but her rough exterior ruled over Christine's thoughts.
"Foolish Child! He does not want to be your friend! He couldn't stand to be your friend! Don't you see that he still loves you?" Mme. Giry shouted, watching Christine cower and move away. "I know that you're a naïve young woman, too generous with your heart and your time, but you tempt him simply by being so. Everyone sees that but you. He will not want to be friends, you silly girl. Not for long. Do you not remember what he caused just to get an ounce of your affection? "
Christine remembered all to well, and it shamed her just thinking about it. She could not help being shy, she really couldn't. It wasn't fair of everyone to label her so. "If he wants it, let him have it. It's mine to give." She whispered, not even able to make eye contact.
"I cannot allow this. There has been too many deaths, Christine Daae. Too many. Would you forget that as well?"
"Do you forget that every time you help him, Mme. Giry?" Christine said coldly. "You have been witness to several accidents, long before I ever set foot upon the grounds. You still provide for him, and help him."
Mme. Giry couldn't answer her, for at once the child had begun to become bold in her actions. Something of fire blazed in Christine's eyes, something akin to Erik's rage. "It is because I care for his fate. His genius should not be overlooked by the world. I had hoped-", She cleared her throat, her breath shaky, "I had hoped that what he had done to this world could be explained by what the world did to him. And it is. The world decided to cage a mere child and beat him until he had shown his face."
"That is exactly why I must be his friend, Madame. So please give this letter to him, please Madame." Christine said calmly, past begging, and too tired to argue.
"No. I will not let your tryst stand in the way of your peace and his. When you left there was peace, now , there most certainly cannot be. Not with the two of you speaking."
Christine bit her bottom lip, nodding as if to a solemn statement that only she could make as she started towards the door. . "In this case, peace is only clouded misery and ignorance. No, I will not ignore nor will I treat him in a such a manner. If you will not help me reach him, then I will just have to go down to his home to reach him myself. And don't try to stop me, Mme. Giry. "
"Christine Daae, don't you dare!" Mme. Giry said, "You have your job to think of, your stable life."
"Stability doesn't mean anything unless I am happy. Well I'm going to do what makes me happy. I hope that one day you'll learn to do the same." Christine whispered, and then headed out the door.
Mme. Giry was awestruck-what had possessed Christine so? Nadir had told her he had seen the same reaction in Erik. Nadir had done everything he could short of chaining Erik to the wall-, and every letter Erik had wrote to Christine had been burned. They could not have any more death-absolutely not. Yet this child was defying them outright, and she only hoped that Nadir would not soften as she just had.
Well….Review if you want! I really want you guys' opinion- I plan on continuing it and everything, I just want to know if you guys hate it or like it.
Chicketieboo: Aww I didn't abandon it. I just let the muse come on it's own. That's part of the reason I really need to post some of my other stuff so you won't think I've dropped of the poto planet.
Meg sighed, staring out the immense window at the snow glistening on the ground as the moon shone down upon it. Christine was more confident near the light of the window, gravitating towards the light as if her life depended upon it. Why was she so scared of the dark? It was almost a childish fear that something would come out and grab her!
"So Meg, why are we here? What is it that you needed to discuss?" Christine desperately wanted to return to Erik, as much as she loved her friend. It was just the dark, she decided, the dark which threatened to claim her.
"It is my father…." Megan said, beginning to pace the floor.
"Your father, Megan? I'm sorry… tell me about it, for you know you can always tell me anything." Christine said, looking away to the window again, watching snowflake after snowflake fall to the ground, amazed at how soothing just window watching could be.
"It is not just that, it is my mother as well. I argued with her today, found out things, that maybe I shouldn't have. The worst of it was finding out, that without her telling me, my mother still loved the man. The man who could have made our family perfect, but didn't. A coward. I have never seen anything of love that will ever make me want to be in love. Ever. All the glittering examples have proven to me that nothing ever ends happily." She said sarcastically.
Christine understood that she meant her choices in love as well, and hid her feelings of shock inside herself so that it did not show. "That is not true of everyone. There are some who marry and love forever."
Megan laughed at that. "How can that be possible. Forgive me for sounding profoundly rude, but all your expertise comes from fairy tales and…your father. You can't chose whom you love, you will forever be a slave to Erik and Raoul."
She took a big breath, not ready to answer this truth or any other thing that ever came out of Megan Giry's mouth. "My father loved my mother for all his days as if that isn't proof enough, Meg. He couldn't ever love anyone else. I know plenty of love. I knew it from him and others. You know it from your mother. As for love, I will not be a slave. I will chose who rules my heart."
"If Raoul were alive, would you be here, Christine?"
"Raoul is dead! If he were alive, yes, we would be wed! We would have lots of children, a nice place to live, and our love to live upon if there were no money!" Christine looked towards the ground.. "I love them both, you understand...I do."
"No, you do not love Erik. You love Raoul, you only think you love Erik. He is the alternative since Raoul is gone. Don't you see Christine, you are dependent upon men?" Megan shouted, almost wanting to ring her friends neck.
Christine stomped, almost hissing at Megan. Now her friend had gone too far. "You're acting just like everyone else. Go on, think the worst of me! I don't care! "
"You never answered my question, Christine. Would you be here if Raoul was alive? Would you even give me or anyone else a second glance or thought?"
Christine broke down in tears, moving away and going into the darkness so she could cry in private. "No….No, I wouldn't be here, but I'd still be your friend. I'd always be your friend. And I would always want Erik. Why couldn't I have been two people? One, that could have loved Erik as he wished, and the other who could have loved Raoul for the rest of her days? Meg, I know your mother's heart. Firmin is a good man, despite his past. Erik despite his past…. Oh I know all of the horrible things he's done, and I don't care. I love him, in my own way. I am growing to love him more with time. I am not dependent on him. If you hadn't found me, I would have thought he was dead. I would have lived my life and never loved another soul. For two men who loved me was plenty enough for me."
"Christine, I am sorry. I am sorry…I have never been so sorry in my life. I've broken the two women in my life I care about most." Megan sighed, coming to Christine. "I never have had a good temper, and now, I just hurt everyone when I open my mouth. Let me walk you back to Erik, I don't….think I can ever repair this tonight, can I?"
Christine's body was racked in tears. She wanted Erik, right this minute to put his arms around her, to rock her until there were no tears left in her mind or her heart. She did love Erik-she did! She put her head on her knees and sobbed aloud. "I forgive you-Meg……because…..I care about you….you are the best friend I've ever had, and the most honest person I'll ever know in my life."
Megan wanted desperately to hide away from anyone and everyone, until everything blew over and it would be alright again. "Then what would make you happy right now? Could you tell me that? What would make you happy for the rest of your life? I know my mother is happy, but a part of me dies just looking at the forlorn look she gets. I never knew why she was always so harsh with me when I was younger, and I know what it is now. She did it to keep me closer to her. And I make her happy. But what makes you happy, Christine Daae? What makes you happy? "
"That isn't dead and gone? Erik. Erik makes me happy, in a quiet way. He would never let harm come to me, never. He always provided for me, even if he was blatantly honest, like you. I never saw how much I hurt him. Part of what I felt for him stirred when I kissed him. Part of me grew up forever, and when I saw Raoul, I just didn't want to think about it. I loved Raoul, with a child's heart, full of innocence, and peace. What I feel for Erik…is yearning, wanting to be understood, wanting to know that someone will always be there for me. And he would, he pledged his life to me. I haven't a soul to depend upon besides you, and Erik. It's not much, and there never has been many in my life to talk to. Please, let's be friends now, and forget it, alright, Megan?" Christine sat and wiped the tears from her face. It had seemed to her that she was always crying, that there hadn't been many happy moments in her life. She thought it was high time for some. She longed for laughter, and smiling. She stood and took Megan's hand.
"Let me take you back to Erik tonight, and we'll talk about this all...well…I would have said morning, but it must be close to that now. We will talk about this later, after we've all had a big amount of rest. I Promise never to snap like that ever again."
Christine waved it away. "Yes, let's talk about it then."
"Are you sure that I can leave you with Erik? Do you trust him?" Megan asked, inwardly shivering even though she had what she felt layers of clothes on. The man still scared her to death.
"Yes Megan. I care about Erik very much. No, he would never harm me. I am safe there." Determined not to have another argument, she eagerly thought of how soon it would be until they were to Mme. Giry's office and she could talk to him again.
"Good, then you won't mind if I wait outside that door to tell you goodnight." Megan chuckled softly. "My days of being fascinated about the Opera ghost are long gone."
"What a pity, I enjoyed your stories. I know you're still afraid, I won't blame you for that. It's alright." Christine put a hand on her friend's shoulder in a sweet gesture.
The darkened halls gave off a glow of their own, and Megan remembered all the lovely stories she used to make up with the other ballet rats about him coming down the halls, eyes aglow. She loved stories about the ghost, even wrote them all down in a scrapbook. That of course, was in her old doll chest, with her first pair of toe shoes, and her dolls, loved until some of them began to fall apart. "Here's mother's office. I'll just wait outside. I don't want to invoke the anger of any ghost in there." Megan smirked, pausing at the door.
Christine giggled and winked. It was if the argument they had was on it's way to fading into nothingness. "Oh a ghost is it? Maybe he's there, just a pile of sheets with eyes cut out. Or maybe….his eyes are aglow and he's coming to scare us all, and go boo in the night. That would be scary eh?"
Megan laughed. "You are forgetting the ghost also made blood pour down the walls, and hands crawl under doors."
"You would have loved my father's stories. He would have even surpassed you, I think." Christine drew her cloak closer to her as she felt a shiver go down her spine, just thinking of Megan's stories. She couldn't help it, they were frightening, even if she cared about the man behind the story.
Megan pushed Christine inside the door. "Now go on, don't make me spend all morning inside these drafty halls. I deserve a warm bed as do you. "
Christine's heart resounded with anticipation of seeing Erik's face just beyond that door. She tried not to let it show fully and walked into the room, taking off her cloak. She had came back to nothing. Had Erik not heard her say that she would return? Angry, and let down, she returned to the desk, finding a note there writing with Erik's unruly hand. Surely, he would give an explanation.
Christine,
I must leave you now, but never think for a moment that I am not with you. I cannot return for quite sometime, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to tell you the reasons why. I have given Mme. Giry enough money to provide for you a new wardrobe, and you must write to me if you've need of anything. Please put the letters in box five themselves, or give them to Mme. Giry, as she has always been my trusted friend and will see to this. It is to be our secret-this is how it has to be if we are to talk to each other. It will not be for long, Christine.
Ever yours,
Erik.
Christine dropped the letter as if it caused her hands to be on fire and then remembered to pick it back up before anyone saw it. What if they were in danger? What if someone wanted to harm Erik? She could never forgive herself if someone killed him because she had exposed him once more. She returned to Meg and hastily explained what she could, told her that she would be staying with Megan today and for a long time.
Megan smiled, knowing she would have support and things might be smoothed out as long as she had Christine as a distraction and could go to her whenever she had trouble. Things would be settled now, and Megan needed stability now more than anything. "Yes, lets find a good place to lie down and sleep, and then maybe the snow will let up. I will love going with you and seeing you try on all those pretty things. It's been so long since we've all had something fashionable to wear, something new and pretty. Times have been so rough." She tried not to mention the reason it had been, the scandal of the Opera ghost bringing down ticket sales, and because of it, little sacrifices had to be made.
"Well, I shall see that you have a new outfit or two of your own. I can't possibly see all this wasted on me. It is ridiculous." Christine tried to see the positive, knowing this would be the biggest trial of her life. She has promised to always be Erik's friend, but that was more difficult when she was away from him, barely allowed to speak with him, much less see him.
"No it isn't, it's because you're so beautiful. Really, the most fetching girl I've ever seen in Paris. You're like a pretty doll, everyone wants to see you wear the nicest things."
"I am not beautiful, but thank you for saying so." Christine commented, moving away from the door and going where Megan led her, to where her mother slept, she supposed.
"It's true!"
"It doesn't matter." Christine wanted a candle, it was so dark and dreary. Part of her was numb, with shock. What would ever make Erik leave? Was it her? Did he still care for her at all? It must have seemed forever, peeking into one room after another, searching for Mme. Giry,
"Well, " Meg said, putting her ear up to the door, " This one has to be where she's at, she's snoring away. We're safe. Let's go in and find some rest before she gets up and starts wanting practice, like she usually does."
"No girls are here Meg."
"That doesn't matter to her." Meg giggled. "I must be in top form."
Together they spread out blankets and began to get comfortable in their pallets. The warmth of the fire enveloped them both and soon Christine spotted Meg asleep, snoring softly in time with her mother. She admired the picture and finally slept, quite restlessly, her dreams taking her to where her conscious mind never would be able to do.
Christine spent the first few weeks in the opera mending costumes, it was to be her new job. It was best that way, she figured for her to keep the peace between Mme. Giry and herself. She sat in a chair most of the time, wanting a free moment to write a letter to Erik. But she could not, for her job and the errands took up a lot of her day. She was lucky to go home with Megan each day and eat something, and fall asleep.
Mme. Giry was sure of her every move, and that irritated her. Christine had been able to do whatever she had wanted for the last year and a half of her life, and for her to be coddled and watched like a toddler annoyed her. She was a grown woman, was she not?
Christine was exhausted, and hadn't sung in weeks. Singing to her had once been as necessary as breathing, but suddenly, it wasn't. Her reason for singing had left her. She mused that Erik would be highly disappointed in that, but being bent over in a chair while concentrating on carefully stitching sequins did that to one, she figured. Megan and herself hadn't had any time for their usual fun-partially because rehearsals had been just as strenuous. She tried very hard to write Erik, but could not-partially because she could never think of what quite to say.
That embarrassed her wholly. She knew what Erik would immediately think when he wanted her to write him and wouldn't. He would automatically think the worst, that she only talked kindly to him because he saved her life and so forth. She would just have to force herself to write the letter, shy or not and apologize and explain herself.
She decided to do so on her break from lunch-and give it to Mme. Giry as soon as she could, even though Mme. Giry never left the Opera house for her home until late at night. Usually, Christine was in bed long before then, and their relationship was confused and muddled at best. She knew she lived there because Megan wanted her too, but otherwise, she didn't think she wanted to know Mme. Giry's opinion on it. She did help with the housekeeping whenever she could and Megan and her could have a merry time just talking.
There had been no time for a pretty new wardrobe and nice things-she didn't know how she had become so exhausted just by her job running little errands and mending the exquisite costumes, but she had. She understood the meaning of it, to keep her from being noticed, for she knew what scandal would occur if that were so. She should be happy she had a place to stay, food to eat, and something to do, but to her that wasn't enough. She longed for the days where she spent quiet hours in Erik's home, reading, singing, and resting.
But, she thought, what else would she be doing if she were married to Raoul? No doubt they would have some children by now, and children were terribly notorious for stealing your sleep. She was sure that while he had a title, and people that could have taken care of the children, she never would have agreed to that and would have taken care of them herself.
There would never be any children of Raoul's, she thought sadly. None to take horse ridding lessons, to go to universities, and become women and men of the world. No legacy at all. There was nothing to be done about that however, and she decided to not dwell upon it. Finally her break came, and she wrote her letter hurriedly. There was only one thing she could ask, and that was-"Do you not want to be my friend anymore? Why did you leave?", and quickly she signed her name.
After a long day, she ran to Mme. Giry's office in elation. Be it a short letter, it was a start, and Christine was proud of herself. Smiling she went up to Mme, who was buried in her work.
"May you please give this to Erik?" She spoke softly, holding out the letter as if it was the most precious thing in existence to her. "He told me that I may write whenever I want to him and you would give the letter to him directly. "
"Absolutely not." Mme. Giry replied, not even looking up at Christine as she read through what was no doubt, a checks and balances book.
Christine was taken aback. What did she mean, no? Hadn't Christine done everything that Mme. Giry had wanted in the time that she had worked there? Hadn't she gave whatever money she earned to her so that she could have a place to stay? She pulled her shawl around her shoulders, trying to get some courage. "Why not? Have I done anything wrong?"
"No, child you haven't but-I am afraid that communication between you and Erik has to cease if the Opera house is to have peace once more." Mme. Giry gave her a sympathetic look.
"I promised I would write him. I've waited so long…I'm afraid he might think I do not want to be his friend anymore and-" Christine began to babble, utterly afraid of Mme. Giry. Maybe it was her stern look that made her afraid, or the way that Mme. Giry never wore a friendly color. She tried to remember that she was Megan's mother, someone who at home acted so completely kind to Megan-but her rough exterior ruled over Christine's thoughts.
"Foolish Child! He does not want to be your friend! He couldn't stand to be your friend! Don't you see that he still loves you?" Mme. Giry shouted, watching Christine cower and move away. "I know that you're a naïve young woman, too generous with your heart and your time, but you tempt him simply by being so. Everyone sees that but you. He will not want to be friends, you silly girl. Not for long. Do you not remember what he caused just to get an ounce of your affection? "
Christine remembered all to well, and it shamed her just thinking about it. She could not help being shy, she really couldn't. It wasn't fair of everyone to label her so. "If he wants it, let him have it. It's mine to give." She whispered, not even able to make eye contact.
"I cannot allow this. There has been too many deaths, Christine Daae. Too many. Would you forget that as well?"
"Do you forget that every time you help him, Mme. Giry?" Christine said coldly. "You have been witness to several accidents, long before I ever set foot upon the grounds. You still provide for him, and help him."
Mme. Giry couldn't answer her, for at once the child had begun to become bold in her actions. Something of fire blazed in Christine's eyes, something akin to Erik's rage. "It is because I care for his fate. His genius should not be overlooked by the world. I had hoped-", She cleared her throat, her breath shaky, "I had hoped that what he had done to this world could be explained by what the world did to him. And it is. The world decided to cage a mere child and beat him until he had shown his face."
"That is exactly why I must be his friend, Madame. So please give this letter to him, please Madame." Christine said calmly, past begging, and too tired to argue.
"No. I will not let your tryst stand in the way of your peace and his. When you left there was peace, now , there most certainly cannot be. Not with the two of you speaking."
Christine bit her bottom lip, nodding as if to a solemn statement that only she could make as she started towards the door. . "In this case, peace is only clouded misery and ignorance. No, I will not ignore nor will I treat him in a such a manner. If you will not help me reach him, then I will just have to go down to his home to reach him myself. And don't try to stop me, Mme. Giry. "
"Christine Daae, don't you dare!" Mme. Giry said, "You have your job to think of, your stable life."
"Stability doesn't mean anything unless I am happy. Well I'm going to do what makes me happy. I hope that one day you'll learn to do the same." Christine whispered, and then headed out the door.
Mme. Giry was awestruck-what had possessed Christine so? Nadir had told her he had seen the same reaction in Erik. Nadir had done everything he could short of chaining Erik to the wall-, and every letter Erik had wrote to Christine had been burned. They could not have any more death-absolutely not. Yet this child was defying them outright, and she only hoped that Nadir would not soften as she just had.
Well….Review if you want! I really want you guys' opinion- I plan on continuing it and everything, I just want to know if you guys hate it or like it.