This is a trip into Max and her thoughts after Logan rescued her from Manticore. I don't know why I left these two chapters out of the story in the original post but I did.
Winning the Battle
I don't know when it all began. I really don't. In my near perfect memory I can just about lock into every single detail I want to but one. I've tried. I've searched each and every single frame of reference I have. I've looked deep into every hidden memory and dark secret locked away in my soul and on my very life; I cannot put my finger on it. I just know it happened. One day it wasn't there and the next I was in Love with Logan Cale and not even Death herself could take me away from him.
He wouldn't let her.
He marched right into the depths of whatever plane of hell I happened to be in at that moment and carried me out of there safe and sound. I fell asleep against his leg that night he carried me out of Manticore as the children escaped and the place burned to the ground. When I awoke he was sitting next to me in his cabin. He was wiping the sweat of my nightmare from my forehead. He smiled.
He called me 'Angel.' Do you understand what that felt like? Do you have any idea what that meant to me. He saved me from that place. He alone came for me when everyone had found it easier to believe I was dead. He carried me to safety and he called ME 'Angel.'
"How's my Angel doing today?" He asked. I smiled. I purred. A trick of my feline DNA that I know turns him on to no end and as his smile widened I reached up and pulled him to my lips. They were dry and cracked and I had been out for almost the entire day but I didn't care at that moment. It didn't matter if I tasted horrible or not. I needed to know. I had to kiss him because it was the only way to be sure he was real.
It wasn't another psy-ops induced delirium or some bizarre nightmare caused by Manticore hallucinogens and torture. It was real and he pushed into my lips just as hard as I pulled him to them. He didn't resist me. He didn't fight me, but he is a man after all and when he took control of the kiss I let him. Maybe he needed this as much as I did. I know he did by the way his face lingered over mine when we broke the kiss. I looked into the warm blue infinity of his all seeing eyes and all I could see was me in there. He was as happy to have me back as I was to be back.
I knew then and there that he was in love with me. If I had ever had any doubts they flew out the window when Renfro had the guards throw me at his feet in front of the bank of computers she had set up for him to find Eyes Only. He was sitting there mouthing off to that bitch and in the end he alone pulled the trigger that would leave her dead in her own inferno.
Is it wrong to be proud of my man for killing my enemy in cold blood? Is it wrong to feel relief that he did it instead of me? I don't care. I know that he rescued me that day. That's all that matters, isn't it?
Logan Cale. Man of letters. Savior of the free world. Eyes Only. The greatest man I know. The strongest man I know. My personal hero still thinks I'm HIS Angel.
Maybe I am. Maybe I am the woman he has always needed in his life. I know I want to be. I know I need to be if only for my own happiness. I mean could there be any two people more perfect for each other? Probably. I doubt we are unique, at least I know I'm not. There are a thousand others like me among the Children of Manticore, but Logan… he's unlike anyone else out here I've ever met.
You ask how he is so different. I wish I could nail it down for you. He's taken on the responsibility of saving the world for one thing. Rather than live his life like all the other wealthy people out there, he's taken it upon himself to make a difference in the world. I've seen it happen. I've stood beside him as the bad guys fell to the side never to rise again. I've been behind him in the shadows as those he's helped have celebrated his existence without even knowing who he is. I've watched as he has taken down the enemy without even blinking an eye.
I've tried to sum up his character before. Words like Samurai and Ronin come to mind. He's a lone warrior fighting the good fight to save humanity from itself. The classic cyberpunk anti-hero from all those old movies and cartoons he used to make me watch. His life could have been so different and we would never have met had that other reality presented itself. It didn't though. He stood alone against the Chaos before I came along. He is the epitome of all that is good in the world. A true hero.
And he's all mine. Do you know how that makes me feel? I watch him out there in that cramped little kitchen fixing one of his culinary miracles. The flavors drifting into the room are amazing. The garlic is what gets to me but even more than the garlic I can smell him. It's that scent of his that I can always taste in the air. It's Logan-scent. Something strictly male that my heightened senses and feline DNA picks up on. I didn't notice it at first. I didn't really pay attention actually, but after a while I could always tell when he was near. I could pick up that Logan flavor wafting through the air to me. It always made me feel better to know he was near.
Maybe that was when it happened. Maybe it was the day I first tasted his lips when I kissed him in the car. No. I knew long before then that I was in love with him. I wish I could pinpoint it. I wish I could find that one moment when I realized that I wouldn't be happy unless Logan stood beside me.
"Max." He hollers from the kitchen.
"I Love You." I blurt out. I feel my face burning with the red glow of embarrassment. I don't know where it came from but I know it's true. These feelings I have hidden deep inside of me are free now. Manticore is gone. That beast can never hurt me again, never hurt us again. I stare into his eyes as he stands there with a warm, comfortable smile and I know he is glad that I was not paying attention to my thoughts.
"I love you, too, Angel." He says. "Do you want to eat out here or should I set the coffee table for us?"
"I'm comfortable here." I say recovering from my embarrassment. "The fire is roaring and the rain is pouring outside and I need you close to me." My god where is this stuff coming from? I need you close to me? I've never said anything resembling those words ever…
"I like hearing that from you." He smiles as he carries two plates and some silver into the room. He returns to the kitchen and brings in a giant bowl of chicken and vegetable stir-fried in a thick red sauce heavily seasoned with garlic. He sits on the floor in front of the couch after helping me sit up straight. I move to make room on the small couch but he touches my thigh and tells me to relax.
"What made you do it?" I ask as he hands me a plate of the stir fry over steamed white rice. "Why did you risk coming in there alone?"
"I couldn't leave you in that place." Logan said. "Why did you risk standing in front of that camera for so long when you could have taken the keys and tried to escape?"
"I wanted them to see that they couldn't break me." I say. It sounded tough. I really meant to say that I wanted Logan to see me and know that I was alive.
"The look you gave that camera was not one intended to show defiance." Logan warned me in his own way. It was that raised eyebrow he used to tell me he was aware of my lie. "You were pleading…"
"I was hoping that you would see me. I was hoping that you would find a way to contact me and free me. I was begging the gods to let you know I was…"
"They told me." Logan reached up and touched my face. His hand lingered just long enough for me to kiss it before he went back to his meal.
"Did I tell you what a damn fool thing that was, you did. I mean coming in there after me…" I yell at him almost. I've seen him make some pretty uneducated decisions but to personally take on Manticore.
"I took on Manticore for one reason alone. Revenge." Logan said. "They took you away from me and when I had the proof that you were alive I was determined to see you back in my arms again." I savor the thick red sauce clinging to a piece of chicken. "I needed to destroy the project for hurting you."
Is this the part where you tell me you can't live without me? My eyes betray my thoughts.
"Max. I won't live without you. I can't. I don't like the way it feels when you're gone. I need you and I will use all of my power to protect you from this day forward."
"I love you too." I smile. He looks at me. He gestures for me to eat and tells me I need my strength.
I can't help but think this is the scariest thing I've ever done. I'm so frightened I can't think straight. I'm a genetically enhanced killing machine. I wasn't designed for this. I don't do emotions and all that stuff but here in front of me sits a man that I would give my life to protect. I know I would do anything for him no matter the consequences. I would do this because I know he has done as much for me. I love this man more than anything. Manticore be damned.
It's a scary road I walk. I guess I'm not surprised that I met Logan Cale standing alone against the Chaos on that very same road. He was waiting for me. Bast. The goddess that comprehends all goddesses led me to him. "Logan…" I start to say.
"The universe is right on schedule, Angel. Eat. We have all the time in the world right now."