A/N: I just heard the announcement that 'Chicago' won the Golden Globe. Everybody go see that. Trust me, it's marvelous. I went with my brother and my friend Caitlin, and I lied very lightly about my age to get us in. Hey, I'm a month from 17. No big deal. Also, Lilli is still great with kitten. I've taken to spoiling her rotten and indulging all her weird cat cravings. Here you go.
Chapter Seventy: He Had It Comin'
"Well?" Draco asked.
Silently, eyes down, Julie walked towards him, closing the door of the family conference behind her. Abruptly she ran towards the blond man and threw her arms around his neck.
"Daddy doesn't mind!" She kissed him fervently and he gazed at her in abject adoration for a moment.
"But no shagging!" Snape added, opening the door with a slam and crossing his arms across his chest in his best let's-scare-the-crumbs-out-of-the-first-years style. "No snogging in public, no spontaneous butt grabs in the hallways, no removal of clothing unless it's either melting off or actually on fire, and absolutely no getting caught!"
"Yes, Dad," Julie mumbled sarcastically. Draco stared at the floor, having recalled something.
"And while you're at it, no tormenting the house-elves, Malfoy." Hermione couldn't resist throwing a snarky comment in.
"I haven't done that in years!"
"Aw, give us a hug, you great Slythy git." Hermione hugged Draco and patted him neatly on the head. "You better behave or I'll sick Sev on you."
"See, I always suspected my son would fall for Sevvy's baby girl," Narcissa Malfoy observed, swirling her umpteenth martini neatly in her hand. "My timing was somewhat cockeyed, but hey, it works."
"What in Merlin's name are you wearing, Mother?" Draco asked suddenly, eying his mother's puffy fur coat in distress. "I thought you were all up-in-arms about fur being cruel."
"It isn't now." Narcissa pulled one of the poofy creatures off of the Burberry raincoat she had modified. "I've trained these pliquash-puffskein critters to hold on to poplin twill. It's the only civilized way to wear fur properly."
"Now if only they weren't the color of bubblegum," Snape remarked dryly.
************************************************************
"Why, darlin' girl, you must be Jennifer Blodgett!"
Salazar Malfoy, despite being blond-haired and aristocratic-looking, was so inured to Southern American life you wouldn't have known whose brother he was. "Tell me, how is your dear mother? Maria was always so enamored of springtime, according to my nephew's letters. Is your brother well?"
"Sal, you great bunny, let the poor girl get off her broom!" The friendly witch facing Jen had the same sort of welcoming, motherly beauty that so distinguished Julie's Aunt Molly, but there seemed to also be the traces of great nobility. She could only be Katie Scarlett Beauregard-Malfoy, Theodoric's mother. "How were the clouds over the mountains, dear? The weather is awful for flying this time of year."
"I held her tight, Mother." Theodoric helped Jen off of the broom and introduced her properly to his parents.
"It's very nice to meet you, ma'am, sir," Jen almost curtsied.
"The pleasure is ours," Katie replied kindly. "Theodoric's written of nearly nothing else –we had to ask him for details about the problem in New Orleans."
"That's my son for you," Salazar explained, shaking Theodoric's hand and thumping him on the back in greeting. "Evvie's preparing quite a feast inside, all your favorites, and I believe some of the society mucky-ducks are stopping by for awhile."
"There isn't another of those cotillions, Father?"
"Now, Theo, you know full well there's one every third Friday," Katie reminded. "Don't worry, Jennifer, I have just the thing for you to wear. You're about the size I was shortly before I married." She winked and Jen knew she was planning to simply transfigure something suitable. Theodoric had explained the proprieties of living in totally Muggle territory, which included being very socially active so nobody would suspect.
"I'm sorry to seem ignorant, but what is a cotillion, ma'am?" Jen asked.
"Oh, call me Katie Scarlett, everybody does. It's a pretentious Southern word for a dance." Theodoric's mother slipped her arm in Jen's and led her off, clearly interested in more details about what had happened with the Aurory's mission. "Honestly, who in their right mind would let girls your age go in to fight that monster? It's a damned good thing it worked, or I'd have that Feldman up on a pole."
"Isn't –you're talking about the President?" Jen was ever so slightly shocked.
"Naturally, darlin' girl," Salazar cut in. "Alden Feldman grew up in Richmond. I taught him to fly myself." The blond man cracked his knuckles loudly and his wife cringed.
"Sal, would you kindly knock that off?"
"Sorry, Katie m'love. So tell me, Jennifer, how did you girls get that bastard dead?"
"Sal!"
"Really, Father, Jen and I were indoors at the time."
"Yeah, Julie and Mitchie really did the work."
"Theo's friend Mitchie from Morrison?" Katie looked pleased. "How did she like Britain?"
"Oh, she really gets along well at Hogwarts. She was Sorted into Gryffindor."
"And who is this Julie?" Salazar asked.
"Julie Snape?" Jen was surprised they hadn't heard of her.
"Merlin's beard, that was Severus' little girl?" Sal looked genuinely confused. "I only heard they had a baby some months ago."
"Well, er- Julie's about three months younger than me."
"Oh, that Julie!" Katie apparently kept track of news better. "I thought that must have been a nasty shock, finding out your parents are both magical."
"Not to mention the most popular subject in post-war cinema." Sal grinned. "Has she seen any of those James Bond-y things?"
"We saw one in Pittsburgh. Laughed herself sick, she did."
"I watched one once when Theodoric was a boy. I can't imagine Severus acting a quarter of the way thay made him look."
"And what in hell was wrong with those Hogwarts uniforms?" Katie asked, swearing at the memory of miniskirts and ultra-lift Wonderbras. "I've seen Sal's yearbook and they wear nothing like that!" Jen fought back a giggle and Katie went white. "They don't, do they?"
"Not officially, but we are allowed to wear what we like on weekends now."
"Oh, good! Theodoric's going to Britain soon."
"Not that my son is easily swayed by a passing skirt, but he does seem to have a weakness for dark-haired girls with accents." Sal lightheartedly punched Jen on the shoulder. "Apart from Mitchie, you're the first girl he's ever brought home."
"Excepting of course the pregnant cat when he was ten," Katie pointed out.
"Mother! Do you have to bring that up to everyone?"
"It was good of you to do the right thing, Theo," Sal joked.
"And I doubt if there's a single home in Richmond without one of Minty's children or grandchildren now," Katie pointed out.
"Minty?" Jen asked.
"Yes, she was very fond of sipping from Mother's drink," Theodoric explained. A gray kitten stopped to bat at his shoelace and he picked it up. "Ah. Here's one of her progeny." He handed the kitten to Jen and petted it on the head. "Good little Soot."
"Soot, what have you been getting into?" Sal asked the kitten. "There's powdered sugar on your paws."
"Evvie's probably chased him out of something in the kitchen." Theodoric kissed the kitten on the head and scratched behind his ears as Soot squinted and began to purr. "Soot always has the strangest things on his paws...oh, look." Jen looked down at the kitten she was holding as Theodoric drew a small and glittering object off Soot's tail. To her shock, it was a diamond ring of some size. "Jennifer, will you marry me?"
For a moment, Jen looked at the hopefully smiling Theodoric, then she bit her lip to stop the tears from coming.
"Yes, darling."
***************************************************************
"At last I have someone to wear this dress," Katie Scarlett exclaimed, fixing the sleeves with her wand to suit Jen. "Your arms are longer than mine, but apart from that, you're exactly my size." She chuckled slightly. "I bet you'd make a better Chaser than I."
"I don't play for a House team, but I do Chase."
"Really?" Katie pulled an old folder from the tissue paper the dress had been folded in. "I was Keeper on the girls' team at Longstreet, we were 9 and 0." She excitedly pointed out pictures. "Every reunion we play with our daughters, and a Chaser's just what we need!"
Jen found herself being hugged unexpectedly.
"Er –this dress is remarkably comfortable," Jen observed. "I mean, for something so formal..."
"You'd expect it to be all corsetty, wouldn't you?" Katie looked sort of pleased with herself. "I sewed it in high school –there are a few sizing charms worked in."
"You made this?" Jen was astonished. "It's wonderful!"
"I always loved fashion," Katie explained. "After school I went on the stage and did most of the costumes, and then I married Sal." She sighed and gestured to the huge and expensive sewing machine in the corner. "He insisted I pursue my own interests and not be some kind of domestic, so I have my own house of design and costume agency."
"Seriously? Have I seen anything you've done?"
"Ever hear of Chateau Verdi?"
"Merciful peace! My friend Chloe worships you!"
"Does she? It's always so strange to hear people like your designs." Katie sighed. "I've been trying to figure out something new for the fall, something that's never been done before, but in fashion there's only so much to do. It's better, I find, to design couture, instead of all this off-the-rack nonsense."
"Couture?"
"You know, make each piece for a particular person. See, if I wanted to design something for our Theodoric, I'd have to keep the shade of his hair and eyes in mind, his height, his build, and the fact that he was born with his left arm longer than his right. Did you notice that?"
"Yes, actually, when we were playing Quidditch."
"Gives him an edge as a Beater, I think. The whole idea of couture is to suit your model perfectly. What looks great on Theo would make his cousin Draco look bad."
"I think Chloe was talking about that the other day. She's French and I think fashion is part of her religion."
"Oh, I stayed in France for a while once, when I was only six. I was so disappointed when there weren't any courtesans frolicking about."
"I've been reading about courtesans lately."
"Do try 'Memoirs of a Geisha' next. That makes a wonderful cross-reference when you're learning about the great courtesans."
"Have you ever read anything about the Chicken Ranch?"
"They made a musical about that, actually. I was in it once."
"Really?"
"Yes, three months pregnant with Theo and I had to go about in fishnets. It was actress hell."
"We finally have a drama club at Hogwarts. After Professor Judy's honeymoon we're going to do 'A Little Night Music'."
"Really? How wonderful! I always thought that was Sondheim's greatest comedy. Which part are you after?"
"I'm not sure. Julie suggested I try out for Charlotte or Desiree."
"Oh, Charlotte. You've got the perfect cynical touch for it. I know everyone acts like Desiree's the best part, but Charlotte and Petra make the show. If you get Charlotte I know just the dress for Act One...straight lines, gray flannel with brown sable cuffs, and a hat to match. Then for the evening dress..."
Katie whipped out a drawing pad and in seconds had costumes drawn for most of the show. Jen provided suggestions and details about her friends, and for nearly an hour the two women happily talked costumes to their hearts' content.
It looked like Jen wouldn't be having the stereotypical problems with in-laws, even if Theodoric might.
*****************************************************************
Ever since Professor Granger left, it had been like open season on Gryffindors. First Lyff Grudgett had broken Tim Weasley's ankle with some slippery stuff poured outside the Fat Lady. Then Jem Blodgett had cursed Lucy Christie's broom during Flying class and caused her to break her nose. Actually, that one wasn't too bad, as Madam Pomfrey managed to make it straighter and a little less Barbra Striesand-ish. Lucy was so pleased she sent flowers to the Slytherin dormitory, which disgusted everyone there and elevated the small and mischievous pranks to all-out war.
Tom Weasley got his hair cursed off. He looked freakish bald, but his uncle quickly replaced it with a hilarious Gryffindor-colors Afro wig.
Kenny Longbottom's pet cat was turned into a Siberian snow leopard. Unfortunately for the Slytherins, it was still very fond of him, and several bullies had to have their arms reattached before Headmistress McGonagall fixed Patches.
Mack was turned literally into a toad. Problem was, the Slytherin who played the prank failed to diminish his size, so there was a person-sized Trevor-lookalike in a Gryffie tie hopping around the halls. That, too, the Gryffindors made light of. It was pretty funny, especially when Mack caught flies in Hagrid's outdoor class.
But finally something had to snap. Matt Flint, who had showed open disgust at his housemates' prank war, lost his temper and hit Hannah Stern in the face. Sh wasn't badly hurt, but the Gryffindor boys vowed to have his blood for it.
"It's an insult to all of us!" Mack shouted that night in the Common Room, acting as leader and rabble-rouser in Donaghan's absence. "Snape isn't there to protect him! I say we move now!"
"Why don't we wait a nice ten minutes while I unpack?" a merry voice from the window twanged. It was Mitchie, hovering on Donaghan's broom with him.
"How about we help, too?" Julie asked, riding with Draco on her Firebolt XP-550. Chloe waved; she was riding with Sweets.
"And I'm game for a nice bit of hell-raising!" Jen announced, grinning with Theodoric in her arms. She wore a strange knitted cap, and her black hair seemed longer.
"Three cheers for the Four Witches of Gryffindor!" Mack called, barely noticing that Jen was clearly absorbed in someone else. "We get Flint's balls tonight!"
*******************************************************************
A/N: Next chapter has lemons in it for some reason. I've no idea why.