A/N: As the great twentieth-century philosopher George Erdner said, 'You can't polish a turd.' Here you go.

Chapter Seventy-Two: Red Hair and Scandals

"Who?" Theodoric hadn't heard Mrs. Blodgett properly.

"You mean Uncle Ron is really my uncle!" Jen was more than a little pissed. "You mean I could really be a Gryffindor? Mother, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"And why did you charm her hair? I'm rather liking it." Theodoric reached over to stroke Jen's hair and quickly pulled his hand back as she nearly snarled.

"Answer me, Mother!"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know!"

"Obviously! Don't you think I have a right to know who my father is?"

"Well...what if you had tried to see him?"

"You mean he doesn't know, either?"

Theodoric was mentally refreshing himself on how to treat victims of Unforgiveables, as it looked like Jen's mother might be in for it. On the other hand, he had seen Jen sad and withdrawn and finally happy, but seeing her angry was –well, it was a damn good thing he'd already proposed or he'd have done so right on the spot.

"N-no, dear...he knew I had you and sometimes he wrote owls..."

"You never told him I was his? How long have you known or did you notice until now?"

Jen's mother suddenly recovered her courage and straightened.

"You were born with that red hair, Missy! If your father –I mean, my husband, had seen you, you would likely be dead!"

"Explains the temper, now, doesn't it?" Theodoric remarked to noone in particular.

"Mother, I want you to come back to Hogwarts now and help me straighten this mess out!"

"But...but you've only got one broom..."

"Theo, dear, do you know how to Apparate?" Jen had explained quite some time ago that her mother had left school shortly before she had her children and never learned.

"Naturally. Meet you at Hogwarts' gates?"

"Of course. See you in a little while."

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"Oh, mother of holy dancing fuck!" Julie cursed. "This isn't a Ministry Time-Turner, now, is it?"

"It looks homemade," Chloe observed. "Look at the fingerprint in the metal at the top, and the initials."

"What initials? Oh, no, Chloe, that's the word 'cat.'"

"Cat?" Mitchie suddenly straightened. "How do you spell that?"

"C-A-T. Don't tell me you didn't know how to-"

"Cassandra Alcott Tyler," Mitchie mumbled, her eyes lighting up oddly. Quickly, she ran her thumb against the dusty bars near the bottom of Julie's pet mice cage, waking William and Mary up. Satisfied, she showed them her darkened thumb for the print. "It's not exact, but it should be close."

"Mitchie, was this your mum's?" Sweets asked.

"She mentioned making it in her diary. I think so."

"However did Flint get ahold of it?"

"Filch took it away from her because she was scaring his cat. Maybe Flint got it from him."

"The contraband drawer!" Julie had finally put it all together. "He swiped it from the same place Uncles Fred and George got the Marauder's Map and I got those –nevermind."

"Should the mouse droppings be pink and wiggling?" Chloe asked.

"What, Chloe? Good lord, those are baby mice!" Julie looked rather pleased. "I wonder what took them so long to mate."

"Probably enjoying their privacy while you were gone," Mitchie observed sarcastically.

"'Dems is baby mice?" Sweets asked, scrutinizing them. "'Dey's gonna grow fur later?"

"Sure. I imagine they'll be white. Would you like a pair when they're big enough?"

"Naw. I think my owl'd mistake 'em for a snack."

"Well, about this Time-Turner-"

"What d'you mean 'this Time-Turner,' Mitch?" Sweets took the chain from Julie and hung it around Mitchie's neck. "It's your Time-Turner. Right of inheritance."

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that... I mean, aren't we all going to do stuff with it?"

"If you want to share."

"I have a sort of errand in mind," Julie remarked.

"As do I." Chloe pulled a 'Moulin Rouge' poster out of her bag. "Field trip to visit the courtesans."

"You are aware Ewan McGregor wasn't really there?" Sweets checked.

"I was thinking a trip to the mid-nineties," Julie explained, blushing slightly.

"Jules! I am scandalized and impressed!" Mitchie picked up another can of soda. "You're going around the 'no shagging' rule, aren't you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

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