Ok this is my favorite chapter so far to write, so I really hope ya'll like it. I know I have Two-Bit acting a lil oOc (out of character) but o well, ur gonna have 2 deal with it. *grin * I own the same stuff i did in the last chapter, plus that ally.. Everything else belongs 2 Mrs. S.E. Hinton *round of applause * I don't have ch. 11 written yet, but i'm working on it so it might be a few days b4 I update. And ya'll, if your reading the story, please review it, cuz i'm kinda interested in how many people ACTUALLTY are reading this. (cuz I know some ppl read without reviewing *everyone gasps * I know i know it's awful, but there are some people how do it. * shakes head* Hehe, thanx 2 Elf Pilot and The Questionable Bob (aka ????, hehe get it "?= question + bob= Questionable Bob...") for actually being god readers and reviewing *gives them cookies *, ya'll are 2 great! If anyone has any suggestions on my story, things I could do better, (things you wanna se happen, people you want more of) drop me a line and let me know. Wow that was long, anyways here's chapter 10, read it, review it, suggest it to friends (even people you don't know...). Much love! 0u+z, Daze (on and I kinda stole the I have dream part from Dr. Martin Luther King, cuz I wrote this on MLK day while driving down MLK Boulevard, so ya know. So don't sure me for that either.)
D, Third Entry Nov. 13
Money. Everyone wants it. Those who have it flaunt it, spending it on cars they don't need, art they don't even look at, whisky they shouldn't drink. It makes them do stupid, and spiteful things to people because, hell they can get away with it. Those without money long for it, go about each day with shoes that bear holes, clothes sizes to small, cars with no breaks. But sooner or later we all become bitter. Socs because they realize their money can't buy them happiness, only substituted for it. And us greasers, because we've gone so long living on the streets, being treated like dirt because we have less then others. The world would be a better place without money to separate us. If a person was treated by character, not dollar amount we (me and the gang) would be rich. I have a dream that one day, I'll live in a place where everyone judged on the content of their character, not the color of their skin or money in their pocket.
Johnny got beat up pretty bad yesterday by some socs. it hurt me to even look at him. Dal got pretty upset, stormed off, looking for a fight (which he found). Johnny and I (and Dal when he came in) stayed at the Curtis' last night. I was up till about 3 am just sitting by Johnny, and holding his hand. He was real shook up, and he had every right to be. I don't see how one person could go through so much pain in just 16 years. I must have fallen asleep round 3:30am, cuz when I woke up (I had one of my famous night mares.), I was in Darry's bed. Dal musta stumbled in sometime before then, cuz he was there when I woke up. I didn't see him till this morning.
* Flashback/ 1st person out of Diary context*
"Dal I really hope you lost that fight." Steve was in the middle of his sentence as i stumbled into the kitchen still in my clothes from yesterday. Dal light a smoke, and shot Steve a look. "Why's that?" Soda grinned wildly and cut Steve off. "Cuz if you won I'd hate to see what they guy who lost looks like." He ducked a 'blow' Dal throw at him, and feel to the floor laughing. I shook my head teasingly and looked over at my cousin. His left eye was blacked and he had a split lip, but compared to Johnny he looked fine. "Aw, Lex don't start." He mumbled, catching my eyes. I just shook my head and sat down, slicing through a piece of chocolate cake the Curtis brother was famous for. It was sweet, to sweet. A grin played on my lips. 'Soda made it.'
* End flashback/ Back 2 Diray entry*
Johnny's a little better now. He can sit up with out wincing at least, Dal's sitting with him while I write. There's always someone in the room with Johnnycake, one of the gangs always glued in the chair next to him. (Except when Two-Bit's in there, the he's doing back-flips off the bed.) I guess we just wanna make sure we're there for him from now on. This wasn't a very good entry and I'm sorry, but i can't seem to focus. I'll write more later.
Always, Lexa
I closed my notebook, dropping it lazily on the floor beside me. I heard the screen door open, the swing shut, closing with a 'pop'. A hand found it's way to my shoulder, and his breath was warm as he whispered, "Come on, I'm getting you outta here. You need break." Before I had the time to object I found myself slung over Two-Bits shoulder, bouncing violently as he hopped down the steps. My stomach plunged into my throat, and I held on to Two-Bit tightly. "Keith Mathews, let me down now." I scolded calmly. I should have learned a long time ago, not to be so frank with Two-Bit, because a minute later I was on the ground with a very sore behind. "Such a gentleman." I rolled my eyes, ignored Two-it's out stretched hand, and got to my feet. "So what do you wanna do?" I stared at Two-bit blankly, then managed to stammer. "You mean you kidnapped me off the Curtis' porch, made me want to hurl, and dropped me on my ass and have no clue what for?" Two-Bit nodded earnestly, and I pinched his left cheek like those old hags do. "Such a gentleman." I gave a violent tug on his plumb cheek then took off down the sidewalk.
I hadn't even gone four steps before, I was pulled to a stop. "Lexa, what's wrong?" Two-bit's voice was calm and steady, and I couldn't help but look at him. We stood there for a second just looking at each other. Lost in the others eyes. Big mistake. I should have known better then to let him see my eyes. His eye bore into mine, as if pulling all the information they could from them.
."Grease!!" and suddenly empty coke bottle landed on the pavement a few inches from me. It shattered on impact sending tiny bits of clear glass in a zillion different directions. I looked up just in time to see a blue Mustang speed down the street, but the word lingered in the air long after the car had driven outta site. Two-Bit swore under his breath making some smart remark about beating the tar outta the socs. It didn't make much difference what he said, nothing was gonna change anything. He knew that just as well as I did, but he went on calling 'em every impolite name he could think of.
"Awww, shut your trap already. Ain't nothing you say gonna change anything." The words came outta my mouth before I had time to think about 'em, and upon realizing what I'd said guilt tore at my stomach. He silenced and turned his head away from me, and I could tell I'd hurt is feelings a little bit. Aw, glory, this is the last thing I wanted. I grabbed his arm, and pulled him towards me, rambling in one breath I started "Two-Bit I'm sorry hadn't meant to say that, it's just a girl can only take getting called filth so many time before she just sorta.....snaps. I didn't...." The last part of the sentence was cut off by a pair of smooth lips on mine and a hand going softly through my hair. We'd kissed so many times before, but this....this wasn't like the others. The others were passionate, provoked with a sexual hunger. This kissed was caused by something different, something more gentle and pure then lust. It was a soft kiss, gentle with a different soft of longing. And to be honest it...it scared me.
I pulled back hastily, staring crazily at my rusty side-burned friend of 8 years. His eyes were as huge as tea-cups, and there was something showing in them that hadn't been there before. Pride? Satisfaction? Love? No, it couldn't but, I must be mistaken. "Where the hell did that come from? And why haven't you done that before?" I asked when breath returned into my lungs. And then he did I thing I never except to see Keith 'Two-Bit" Matthew's do in his life, he blushed. I laughed, I wasn't really sure what else to do. I shifted uneasily in the piercing silence that followed my laughter, Two-Bit grinned unstably. This was the first time we'd ever done anything and felt uneasy about it, and this was the most pure experience we'd very taken place in.
Two-Bit was the first to break the loud quite, with his usual wise crack. "Now I can honestly say I've left a girl speechless from a simple kiss." I gave him a half hearted grin, and watched as two boys rode by on their bikes. Blue bikes with sparkling fresh paint, that I was positive weren't obtained the legal way. I ducked my head, when they sent me wary glares, letting me know to advert my eyes. Guys get real uppity when they know you've caught them doing something they shouldn't, and in a neighborhood were switch-blades were as common as shoes (maybe sometime even more,) it was safe not to get involved.
"That was anything but a simple kiss Two-Bit, and there's no way you can tell me anything different." I said this smugly, with more confidence then I actually possessed. I reached out and grabbed his arm pulling him into a side ally, between two larger brick buildings. The sun was dimmer there, shinning just enough to give his hair a golden gleam. For the first time I started to see Two-Bit as other girls had seen him before. Firm build, tanned skin, soft pink lips. Those lips..... "Why did you kiss me like that. I mean I could come to a conclusion on my own, but I want to hear it from you." His eyes were focused on a hole in his sneakers, as if it was the first time he'd ever seen it. This made me uneasy, Two-Bit never acted this way around me. We had too unique of a relationship to act that way. He could tell me he'd bedded four girls the night before not batting an eyeball, but it was seeming to take all the courage he could muster to explain what that kiss had meant. "I think I'm falling in love, Lexa." His voice was soft, and I leaned in to hear him. Ok so he was in love with some girl, and it meant he didn't want to fool around anymore. I could handle that, after a while at least. "That's great, hun! With who?" He started at me as if I'd just asked which came first the chicken or the egg. A bored, blank expression that was starting to annoy me. He took a deep breath, and in one gasp he spat out. "You."
I've never been hit so hard that the breath has left my body. But when Two_Bit spoke those words, I thought I'd never breath again. HE....WAS....IN...LOVE....WITH....ME! I slumped against the cold brick wall, trying to get my thoughts to focus. I'd thought about it before, but never had I imaged it was true. And to hear his actually say it did something to me. But to know I didn't feel the same, or letting myself believe I didn't feel the same, tore me apart I slid down the wall, until i was sitting on the cold dirt, Two-Bit next to me. "Lex, you gonna say something? I mean I just kinda confessed something really embarrassing here, and your like blanked out. It would help if you like breathed or something." I grinned, and cleared my throat once. Twice. Make that three times before I was actually able to speak. "Your not serious right? I mean, you've never acted like....." Two callused fingers on my lips ended my sentence.
"Lexa, I'm 2 and ½ years older then you, 30 months to be exact. And I've watched your grow from a miniature version of Dallas, who did exactly what he told you to do. Into a beautiful, warm girl.....young woman who can make her own choices. And The more I watch you, the more I want to be with you. I love everything about you, the way you walk, the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you think, the way you make me feel like there's something out there worth living for. It's taken me to long to say this, but I love you Lexa." He gasped for breath at the end of his sentence, and I half giggled at how fast he'd said all that. But I'd understood every word. He was in love with me. The thought was getting easier to deal with.
"I'm kinda hopping you'll slap me or something, just to get me off the hook here." Two-Bit mumbled, tossing a rock through a broken window across the slim ally. I couldn't say anything, to be honest I didn't know what to say. It's not everyday your best friend tells you he'd in love with you, at least not usually. I opened my mouth, trying to from words that wouldn't come, and finally I gave into defeat. The smile on my friends lips faded, the disappeared all together. "So Lexa how about it. You feel even close to the same?" I tried to tell I did, that I did love him. But I couldn't bring myself to. Yes, I loved Two-Bit Mathews ,more then anything. But never had I let myself think of him as anything more then a good friend, that I...ummm....experimented with. "You do don't you? You love me." Blasted tell all eyes, I couldn't let him think I did. Even if it was true. I couldn't actually admit the truth. "Your so full of yourself, but your wrong this time Mr. Mathews." His head span towards me and his eyes were huge, "It's in your eyes Lex." He said stubbornly, and I had no doubt it was. "What are you afraid of Lexa? If it's rejection, you won't get it." Two-Bit questioned me smugly, and I looked away. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let myself love him, it would only hurt him in the end. "Okay Lexa. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same, and I'll shut up." I couldn't do this...but I had to......
He turned my face so that our eyes met, and I closed mine hastily knowing he'd see the truth in them. "I don't love you Two-Bit." I stammered, my stomach cramping. It was a lie, an awful lie. "Open you eyes, Alexa. And then say it." His voice was cold, daring even. He deserved to know the truth, even if it killed me for him to. I opened my eyes slowly, forcing myself to directed my gaze to his. "I...I don't love you Two-Bit." His eyes darted back and forth between mine, as if trying to look into both of my eyes at once.
His hand dropped from my face, and his face was set as if in stone as he assured me he'd found his answer. "Your eyes are beautiful, Lex. But you should learn to control them. I see the truth in them, and I can't understand how you could lie about something like this. If you wanted to get back at me for something by hurting me, you just did a good job." And with that he jumped to his feet and raced out of the dim ally. I tried to call after him, beg him to come back. But tears stopped my words in my throat. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall biting my lip to keep the tears back. I had just done the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I'd lied to my best friend, playing games with his heart, and he knew it. He didn't understand but he know. He could never understand. I need someone to hold me and tell me it was all gonna be ok in the morning. It wouldn't hurt so much then. Like I'd told Johnny, only half believing them myself. But I'd done this to myself, and now I was left alone to cope with the consequence of my actions. But I had my reasons, and as honorable as the were it hurt like hell.
D, Third Entry Nov. 13
Money. Everyone wants it. Those who have it flaunt it, spending it on cars they don't need, art they don't even look at, whisky they shouldn't drink. It makes them do stupid, and spiteful things to people because, hell they can get away with it. Those without money long for it, go about each day with shoes that bear holes, clothes sizes to small, cars with no breaks. But sooner or later we all become bitter. Socs because they realize their money can't buy them happiness, only substituted for it. And us greasers, because we've gone so long living on the streets, being treated like dirt because we have less then others. The world would be a better place without money to separate us. If a person was treated by character, not dollar amount we (me and the gang) would be rich. I have a dream that one day, I'll live in a place where everyone judged on the content of their character, not the color of their skin or money in their pocket.
Johnny got beat up pretty bad yesterday by some socs. it hurt me to even look at him. Dal got pretty upset, stormed off, looking for a fight (which he found). Johnny and I (and Dal when he came in) stayed at the Curtis' last night. I was up till about 3 am just sitting by Johnny, and holding his hand. He was real shook up, and he had every right to be. I don't see how one person could go through so much pain in just 16 years. I must have fallen asleep round 3:30am, cuz when I woke up (I had one of my famous night mares.), I was in Darry's bed. Dal musta stumbled in sometime before then, cuz he was there when I woke up. I didn't see him till this morning.
* Flashback/ 1st person out of Diary context*
"Dal I really hope you lost that fight." Steve was in the middle of his sentence as i stumbled into the kitchen still in my clothes from yesterday. Dal light a smoke, and shot Steve a look. "Why's that?" Soda grinned wildly and cut Steve off. "Cuz if you won I'd hate to see what they guy who lost looks like." He ducked a 'blow' Dal throw at him, and feel to the floor laughing. I shook my head teasingly and looked over at my cousin. His left eye was blacked and he had a split lip, but compared to Johnny he looked fine. "Aw, Lex don't start." He mumbled, catching my eyes. I just shook my head and sat down, slicing through a piece of chocolate cake the Curtis brother was famous for. It was sweet, to sweet. A grin played on my lips. 'Soda made it.'
* End flashback/ Back 2 Diray entry*
Johnny's a little better now. He can sit up with out wincing at least, Dal's sitting with him while I write. There's always someone in the room with Johnnycake, one of the gangs always glued in the chair next to him. (Except when Two-Bit's in there, the he's doing back-flips off the bed.) I guess we just wanna make sure we're there for him from now on. This wasn't a very good entry and I'm sorry, but i can't seem to focus. I'll write more later.
Always, Lexa
I closed my notebook, dropping it lazily on the floor beside me. I heard the screen door open, the swing shut, closing with a 'pop'. A hand found it's way to my shoulder, and his breath was warm as he whispered, "Come on, I'm getting you outta here. You need break." Before I had the time to object I found myself slung over Two-Bits shoulder, bouncing violently as he hopped down the steps. My stomach plunged into my throat, and I held on to Two-Bit tightly. "Keith Mathews, let me down now." I scolded calmly. I should have learned a long time ago, not to be so frank with Two-Bit, because a minute later I was on the ground with a very sore behind. "Such a gentleman." I rolled my eyes, ignored Two-it's out stretched hand, and got to my feet. "So what do you wanna do?" I stared at Two-bit blankly, then managed to stammer. "You mean you kidnapped me off the Curtis' porch, made me want to hurl, and dropped me on my ass and have no clue what for?" Two-Bit nodded earnestly, and I pinched his left cheek like those old hags do. "Such a gentleman." I gave a violent tug on his plumb cheek then took off down the sidewalk.
I hadn't even gone four steps before, I was pulled to a stop. "Lexa, what's wrong?" Two-bit's voice was calm and steady, and I couldn't help but look at him. We stood there for a second just looking at each other. Lost in the others eyes. Big mistake. I should have known better then to let him see my eyes. His eye bore into mine, as if pulling all the information they could from them.
."Grease!!" and suddenly empty coke bottle landed on the pavement a few inches from me. It shattered on impact sending tiny bits of clear glass in a zillion different directions. I looked up just in time to see a blue Mustang speed down the street, but the word lingered in the air long after the car had driven outta site. Two-Bit swore under his breath making some smart remark about beating the tar outta the socs. It didn't make much difference what he said, nothing was gonna change anything. He knew that just as well as I did, but he went on calling 'em every impolite name he could think of.
"Awww, shut your trap already. Ain't nothing you say gonna change anything." The words came outta my mouth before I had time to think about 'em, and upon realizing what I'd said guilt tore at my stomach. He silenced and turned his head away from me, and I could tell I'd hurt is feelings a little bit. Aw, glory, this is the last thing I wanted. I grabbed his arm, and pulled him towards me, rambling in one breath I started "Two-Bit I'm sorry hadn't meant to say that, it's just a girl can only take getting called filth so many time before she just sorta.....snaps. I didn't...." The last part of the sentence was cut off by a pair of smooth lips on mine and a hand going softly through my hair. We'd kissed so many times before, but this....this wasn't like the others. The others were passionate, provoked with a sexual hunger. This kissed was caused by something different, something more gentle and pure then lust. It was a soft kiss, gentle with a different soft of longing. And to be honest it...it scared me.
I pulled back hastily, staring crazily at my rusty side-burned friend of 8 years. His eyes were as huge as tea-cups, and there was something showing in them that hadn't been there before. Pride? Satisfaction? Love? No, it couldn't but, I must be mistaken. "Where the hell did that come from? And why haven't you done that before?" I asked when breath returned into my lungs. And then he did I thing I never except to see Keith 'Two-Bit" Matthew's do in his life, he blushed. I laughed, I wasn't really sure what else to do. I shifted uneasily in the piercing silence that followed my laughter, Two-Bit grinned unstably. This was the first time we'd ever done anything and felt uneasy about it, and this was the most pure experience we'd very taken place in.
Two-Bit was the first to break the loud quite, with his usual wise crack. "Now I can honestly say I've left a girl speechless from a simple kiss." I gave him a half hearted grin, and watched as two boys rode by on their bikes. Blue bikes with sparkling fresh paint, that I was positive weren't obtained the legal way. I ducked my head, when they sent me wary glares, letting me know to advert my eyes. Guys get real uppity when they know you've caught them doing something they shouldn't, and in a neighborhood were switch-blades were as common as shoes (maybe sometime even more,) it was safe not to get involved.
"That was anything but a simple kiss Two-Bit, and there's no way you can tell me anything different." I said this smugly, with more confidence then I actually possessed. I reached out and grabbed his arm pulling him into a side ally, between two larger brick buildings. The sun was dimmer there, shinning just enough to give his hair a golden gleam. For the first time I started to see Two-Bit as other girls had seen him before. Firm build, tanned skin, soft pink lips. Those lips..... "Why did you kiss me like that. I mean I could come to a conclusion on my own, but I want to hear it from you." His eyes were focused on a hole in his sneakers, as if it was the first time he'd ever seen it. This made me uneasy, Two-Bit never acted this way around me. We had too unique of a relationship to act that way. He could tell me he'd bedded four girls the night before not batting an eyeball, but it was seeming to take all the courage he could muster to explain what that kiss had meant. "I think I'm falling in love, Lexa." His voice was soft, and I leaned in to hear him. Ok so he was in love with some girl, and it meant he didn't want to fool around anymore. I could handle that, after a while at least. "That's great, hun! With who?" He started at me as if I'd just asked which came first the chicken or the egg. A bored, blank expression that was starting to annoy me. He took a deep breath, and in one gasp he spat out. "You."
I've never been hit so hard that the breath has left my body. But when Two_Bit spoke those words, I thought I'd never breath again. HE....WAS....IN...LOVE....WITH....ME! I slumped against the cold brick wall, trying to get my thoughts to focus. I'd thought about it before, but never had I imaged it was true. And to hear his actually say it did something to me. But to know I didn't feel the same, or letting myself believe I didn't feel the same, tore me apart I slid down the wall, until i was sitting on the cold dirt, Two-Bit next to me. "Lex, you gonna say something? I mean I just kinda confessed something really embarrassing here, and your like blanked out. It would help if you like breathed or something." I grinned, and cleared my throat once. Twice. Make that three times before I was actually able to speak. "Your not serious right? I mean, you've never acted like....." Two callused fingers on my lips ended my sentence.
"Lexa, I'm 2 and ½ years older then you, 30 months to be exact. And I've watched your grow from a miniature version of Dallas, who did exactly what he told you to do. Into a beautiful, warm girl.....young woman who can make her own choices. And The more I watch you, the more I want to be with you. I love everything about you, the way you walk, the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you think, the way you make me feel like there's something out there worth living for. It's taken me to long to say this, but I love you Lexa." He gasped for breath at the end of his sentence, and I half giggled at how fast he'd said all that. But I'd understood every word. He was in love with me. The thought was getting easier to deal with.
"I'm kinda hopping you'll slap me or something, just to get me off the hook here." Two-Bit mumbled, tossing a rock through a broken window across the slim ally. I couldn't say anything, to be honest I didn't know what to say. It's not everyday your best friend tells you he'd in love with you, at least not usually. I opened my mouth, trying to from words that wouldn't come, and finally I gave into defeat. The smile on my friends lips faded, the disappeared all together. "So Lexa how about it. You feel even close to the same?" I tried to tell I did, that I did love him. But I couldn't bring myself to. Yes, I loved Two-Bit Mathews ,more then anything. But never had I let myself think of him as anything more then a good friend, that I...ummm....experimented with. "You do don't you? You love me." Blasted tell all eyes, I couldn't let him think I did. Even if it was true. I couldn't actually admit the truth. "Your so full of yourself, but your wrong this time Mr. Mathews." His head span towards me and his eyes were huge, "It's in your eyes Lex." He said stubbornly, and I had no doubt it was. "What are you afraid of Lexa? If it's rejection, you won't get it." Two-Bit questioned me smugly, and I looked away. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let myself love him, it would only hurt him in the end. "Okay Lexa. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same, and I'll shut up." I couldn't do this...but I had to......
He turned my face so that our eyes met, and I closed mine hastily knowing he'd see the truth in them. "I don't love you Two-Bit." I stammered, my stomach cramping. It was a lie, an awful lie. "Open you eyes, Alexa. And then say it." His voice was cold, daring even. He deserved to know the truth, even if it killed me for him to. I opened my eyes slowly, forcing myself to directed my gaze to his. "I...I don't love you Two-Bit." His eyes darted back and forth between mine, as if trying to look into both of my eyes at once.
His hand dropped from my face, and his face was set as if in stone as he assured me he'd found his answer. "Your eyes are beautiful, Lex. But you should learn to control them. I see the truth in them, and I can't understand how you could lie about something like this. If you wanted to get back at me for something by hurting me, you just did a good job." And with that he jumped to his feet and raced out of the dim ally. I tried to call after him, beg him to come back. But tears stopped my words in my throat. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall biting my lip to keep the tears back. I had just done the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I'd lied to my best friend, playing games with his heart, and he knew it. He didn't understand but he know. He could never understand. I need someone to hold me and tell me it was all gonna be ok in the morning. It wouldn't hurt so much then. Like I'd told Johnny, only half believing them myself. But I'd done this to myself, and now I was left alone to cope with the consequence of my actions. But I had my reasons, and as honorable as the were it hurt like hell.