Hey! Chapter 11...woot woot (lol, yeah I'm hyper)!! I wanna thank everyone who review chapter 10, ElfPilot, Rockabye, MaverickGirl, Ya'll are so great! Heaven, I was wondering if I could use you in a comeo in my next chapter (please say yes, PLEASE PLEASE...). LOL! Newho, here's ch. 11, and I hope you like it. Chaptrer 12 is when things get interesting, so please just bear with me. Out ~ Daze
The short walk from the damp ally back to the Curtis' house was walked in a daze. My feet moved, and I managed to make it there safely, but how in the world I managed is a mystery. Guilt tore at my heart, feeling as if it had clamped down on it making it work twice as hard, the thudding aching in my chest. I had hurt my best friend in one of the worst ways possible, all because I could admit to myself i loved him. No that was wrong, I know I loved him, I'd known since our first kiss, I just hadn't let myself believe for reasons of my own. I couldn't let him, for his sake. "I won't think of it now, I'll wait till I'm at the Curtis', where I can bear it.' Another thought crepe inside my mind. I was acting just like the twits in my neighborhood, and I hated it.
I stumbled in the door, feeling as if I was on the verge of fainting or throwing up or something. The urge to run return a thousand times stronger then it had been the day before. But I couldn't run today, because yesterday I known I'd come back, and today if I started I wasn't sure if I was capable of stopping. I closed the door tightly behind me, surprised by the unusually quite house. Soda and Steve were sitting around a folding card table playing poker (both cheating profoundly.) and Pony was sitting on the couch nose deep inside some book. Darry was at work, Darry was always at work. I walked over behind Soda, watching as he drooped a card from his sleeve , supplying himself with a full house. "You cheat!" Steve hissed, laying down five dollars before his best friend. "I wouldn't be talking Steve that's a nice ace in your pocket." Soda retorted happily, collecting his winnings from the table. I any other time I would have laugh at the two of theirs antics but today I couldn't.
I stumbled back the hall, biting my lip to keep from crying. I couldn't believe what I'd just done, it hurt to accept it was truth. I pushed open the door to the room Johnny had been staying in, expecting to see Dal in the chair talking up a storm about how he'd stomped Jeff, but only Johnny was there. His back was to me, and I wasn't sure if he was awake. I made my way quietly next to the bed, careful not to wake him if he was truly asleep. I jumped back a little when he rolled over suddenly eyes, wide open. "I..I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry Johnny." I tugged at a lose string in my shirt, careful not to look him in the eye and give myself away instantly. "Don't worry about it, I was up anyway. What's wrong, Munchkin?" My head snapped up instantly, and I wonder how in the world he'd guessed something was wrong this fast couldn't tell him. I mean he'd understand and all, but i couldn't tell him. "Just tired. Mind if I lay with ya for a while?" He slid over and lifted the cover, allowing me to slide in next to him. I moved close to him, and for a second he tensed. Johnny was always awkward around girls, even me, so this didn't surprise me in the least. He relaxed gradually, draping a arm around my waist. "So how ya feeling, Johnnycake?" I asked, my left hand going to his rib cage automatically. He looked a little better, and he'd stopped whimpering, and I was extremely glad for that. "alright i guess, I'm still kinda soar. Dal found the socs. Stomped them pretty good he says." I nodded weakly letting him know that i already knew. "I'm glad. I wanted to kill them, but I'm glad he found them first. Now when i go after them, they'll already be to beat up to fight." I cracked the half hearted joke, hoping to get Johnny to grin. He did, and it made me feel a little better.
It felt good to be close to someone after the incident in the ally, and I laid my head on Johnny's chest. "Mind if I take a nap?" I asked yawing, hoping that in my sleep I'd be able to figure things out. "Naw." I didn't even wait for his answer, I fell asleep listening to the soft thumping of Johnny's heart.
I I didn't see Two-Bit at all that day Or most of the next day for that matter. He didn't come back to the Curtis' and my guess was he either was drunk beyond belief or he's gone to his house (for once). Either way I knew he was avoiding me, and I couldn't blame him. I would be avoding me to, in fact i think I kinda was. I'd tried my best to keep from thinking, and due to this the Curtis' had a clean bathroom, kitchen, livingr room, and at the moment I was fighting my way the mess in Pony and Soda's room. I was going through clothes that were thrown about the floor, trying to figure out what was clean and what wasn't. Or at least what smelt clean. I grabbed a pair of boxers, the were crusted in something white. It took a min for it to dawn on my what the substance was, and when I did they found the way back to the floor. That was just nasty. I pushed myself up off teh floor, and carefully stepped over mounds of clothes on my way to the door. I was officially done with cleaning that room, considering there was no telling what I midget step in. I walked out to the living room and found Johnny sitting on the couch watching some sappy sitcom. It had been two days since he'd got beat up, and the swelling in his face had gone done , but the bruises were still there. Dal had made him self personally responsible for taking care of him, taking care of his cuts and everything. I think Dallas felt guilty, and this was his way of making up for it. "everybody go off and leave you here?" I seated myself next to him on the broken down coach, and drew my knees to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them. "They're outside playing football. Dar came home a lil while ago, and I think Two-Bit wander over too." He answer quietly, switching through the channels before turning it off. I swolled hard, and hugged my knees tighter to me. Chewing slightly on my bottom lip, my nervesous habit, I grabbed Johnny's hand pulling him up with me. "Let's go watch 'em. Some fresh air'll do you good." I wanted to see Two-Bit and get all awarkward feeling aside before it ruined our friendship. So Johnny and I made our way outside in time to see Pony intercept teh ball, then be tackle to the ground rather roughly by Steve. Too roughly. Steve didn't like his best friend's little brother very much, and it was plain to see to everyone except Soda. I think Soda knew it too, he just ignored it. He lived in this kinda world that if you ignored it, it goes away sometimes. I think we all did.
"Ay, Lexa!" Ponyboy hollered as I walked closer, waving me towards them. I did my best not to look at Two-Bit, knowing he wouldn't make eye contact. Him looking away would be more then i could take. I plastered a smile on my lips and jogged over to Pony. "Which team am I on?" I took the rubber band/ hair tie from around my wrist and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun. I knew I looked like such a tomboy. Blue jeans with holes in both knees, and a old blue tee shirt. I couldn't se how Two-Bit saw anything in me I'm no Marilyn Monroe, even I knew that. And I wasn't exactly the modle of femine-ness. (if that's even a word) I mean take this for example I'm playing tackle football with a buncha guys. Or well trying to. "Lexa, I dunno if you should play...." Darry was the one who said this, and I turned to him with a bored expression. We went through this every time, and by now I would think he'd just give up on it. "Dar, it's ok with Dally if I play. And if I get hurt, it's my own damn fault." Darry wasn't gonna give up that easy. "But Lexa with your knee and all..." I rolled my eyes, he always had to bring that up.
When I was 13 years old I'd been on a ladder helping the Curtis put up Christmas lights. Our brilliant friend Mr. Steve Randle hadn't been paying attition to what he was doing, and had managed to knock the ladder over, with me on it. I'd landed on my right knee really funny, and had popped it outta place, causing us all to take a trip to the ER. I'd had to use crutches for two-months and Steve had been my personal slave. All and all it wasn't the worst thing that had happened to me, but my knee still hurt once in a while.
"Dar, you konw perfectly well my knees fine. I mean I run track on it don't I?" Darry gave me a stren look, letting me know that he wasn't giving in, It really stunk, cuz even tough he wasn't related to me he was teh oldest and what he said pretty much stuck with the gang. I looked at Dally for help, but it wasn't him that came to my rescue. "Darry, let her play. We're wasting time, cuz you know your gonna give in and let her play anyways, after she gives you that puppy dog look." I looked words lessly at Two-Bit, not believing he'd taken my side. Our eyes met, and he grinned half-heartedly as Darry gave in. "Oh alright, just be careful k?" I nodded, taking my place between Two-bit and Pony. "Hey Two-Bit?" He looked over at me, his face expressionless. "Thanks." He didn't even grin.
"Steve, I've come to the conclusion, you need to stay away from me. Everytime you come near me I get hurt." I pressed the towle wraped ice to my knee as I said this, sending Steve a teasing glance. So Darry was right, as usual, I'd ended up getting hurt. But it wasn't really my fault, it's hard to concantrat when one of your best friends won't even look at you. "It's not my fault you ran into me." Was the answer I recived from an over cocky Steve. Ok, so maybe I had ran into him, but ya know that wasn't my fault either. Much. " And it's not my fault your accident prone." I grinned innocently causing the guys to chuckle. Steve chucked a pillow at me, and i ducked letting it hit the wall behind me. For a moment everything felt right, like the past three days hadn't even taken place. The guys were all laughing and joking, and I smiled sheepishly.
But reality always has a way of kicking you just when you think your up.....
The short walk from the damp ally back to the Curtis' house was walked in a daze. My feet moved, and I managed to make it there safely, but how in the world I managed is a mystery. Guilt tore at my heart, feeling as if it had clamped down on it making it work twice as hard, the thudding aching in my chest. I had hurt my best friend in one of the worst ways possible, all because I could admit to myself i loved him. No that was wrong, I know I loved him, I'd known since our first kiss, I just hadn't let myself believe for reasons of my own. I couldn't let him, for his sake. "I won't think of it now, I'll wait till I'm at the Curtis', where I can bear it.' Another thought crepe inside my mind. I was acting just like the twits in my neighborhood, and I hated it.
I stumbled in the door, feeling as if I was on the verge of fainting or throwing up or something. The urge to run return a thousand times stronger then it had been the day before. But I couldn't run today, because yesterday I known I'd come back, and today if I started I wasn't sure if I was capable of stopping. I closed the door tightly behind me, surprised by the unusually quite house. Soda and Steve were sitting around a folding card table playing poker (both cheating profoundly.) and Pony was sitting on the couch nose deep inside some book. Darry was at work, Darry was always at work. I walked over behind Soda, watching as he drooped a card from his sleeve , supplying himself with a full house. "You cheat!" Steve hissed, laying down five dollars before his best friend. "I wouldn't be talking Steve that's a nice ace in your pocket." Soda retorted happily, collecting his winnings from the table. I any other time I would have laugh at the two of theirs antics but today I couldn't.
I stumbled back the hall, biting my lip to keep from crying. I couldn't believe what I'd just done, it hurt to accept it was truth. I pushed open the door to the room Johnny had been staying in, expecting to see Dal in the chair talking up a storm about how he'd stomped Jeff, but only Johnny was there. His back was to me, and I wasn't sure if he was awake. I made my way quietly next to the bed, careful not to wake him if he was truly asleep. I jumped back a little when he rolled over suddenly eyes, wide open. "I..I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry Johnny." I tugged at a lose string in my shirt, careful not to look him in the eye and give myself away instantly. "Don't worry about it, I was up anyway. What's wrong, Munchkin?" My head snapped up instantly, and I wonder how in the world he'd guessed something was wrong this fast couldn't tell him. I mean he'd understand and all, but i couldn't tell him. "Just tired. Mind if I lay with ya for a while?" He slid over and lifted the cover, allowing me to slide in next to him. I moved close to him, and for a second he tensed. Johnny was always awkward around girls, even me, so this didn't surprise me in the least. He relaxed gradually, draping a arm around my waist. "So how ya feeling, Johnnycake?" I asked, my left hand going to his rib cage automatically. He looked a little better, and he'd stopped whimpering, and I was extremely glad for that. "alright i guess, I'm still kinda soar. Dal found the socs. Stomped them pretty good he says." I nodded weakly letting him know that i already knew. "I'm glad. I wanted to kill them, but I'm glad he found them first. Now when i go after them, they'll already be to beat up to fight." I cracked the half hearted joke, hoping to get Johnny to grin. He did, and it made me feel a little better.
It felt good to be close to someone after the incident in the ally, and I laid my head on Johnny's chest. "Mind if I take a nap?" I asked yawing, hoping that in my sleep I'd be able to figure things out. "Naw." I didn't even wait for his answer, I fell asleep listening to the soft thumping of Johnny's heart.
I I didn't see Two-Bit at all that day Or most of the next day for that matter. He didn't come back to the Curtis' and my guess was he either was drunk beyond belief or he's gone to his house (for once). Either way I knew he was avoiding me, and I couldn't blame him. I would be avoding me to, in fact i think I kinda was. I'd tried my best to keep from thinking, and due to this the Curtis' had a clean bathroom, kitchen, livingr room, and at the moment I was fighting my way the mess in Pony and Soda's room. I was going through clothes that were thrown about the floor, trying to figure out what was clean and what wasn't. Or at least what smelt clean. I grabbed a pair of boxers, the were crusted in something white. It took a min for it to dawn on my what the substance was, and when I did they found the way back to the floor. That was just nasty. I pushed myself up off teh floor, and carefully stepped over mounds of clothes on my way to the door. I was officially done with cleaning that room, considering there was no telling what I midget step in. I walked out to the living room and found Johnny sitting on the couch watching some sappy sitcom. It had been two days since he'd got beat up, and the swelling in his face had gone done , but the bruises were still there. Dal had made him self personally responsible for taking care of him, taking care of his cuts and everything. I think Dallas felt guilty, and this was his way of making up for it. "everybody go off and leave you here?" I seated myself next to him on the broken down coach, and drew my knees to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them. "They're outside playing football. Dar came home a lil while ago, and I think Two-Bit wander over too." He answer quietly, switching through the channels before turning it off. I swolled hard, and hugged my knees tighter to me. Chewing slightly on my bottom lip, my nervesous habit, I grabbed Johnny's hand pulling him up with me. "Let's go watch 'em. Some fresh air'll do you good." I wanted to see Two-Bit and get all awarkward feeling aside before it ruined our friendship. So Johnny and I made our way outside in time to see Pony intercept teh ball, then be tackle to the ground rather roughly by Steve. Too roughly. Steve didn't like his best friend's little brother very much, and it was plain to see to everyone except Soda. I think Soda knew it too, he just ignored it. He lived in this kinda world that if you ignored it, it goes away sometimes. I think we all did.
"Ay, Lexa!" Ponyboy hollered as I walked closer, waving me towards them. I did my best not to look at Two-Bit, knowing he wouldn't make eye contact. Him looking away would be more then i could take. I plastered a smile on my lips and jogged over to Pony. "Which team am I on?" I took the rubber band/ hair tie from around my wrist and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun. I knew I looked like such a tomboy. Blue jeans with holes in both knees, and a old blue tee shirt. I couldn't se how Two-Bit saw anything in me I'm no Marilyn Monroe, even I knew that. And I wasn't exactly the modle of femine-ness. (if that's even a word) I mean take this for example I'm playing tackle football with a buncha guys. Or well trying to. "Lexa, I dunno if you should play...." Darry was the one who said this, and I turned to him with a bored expression. We went through this every time, and by now I would think he'd just give up on it. "Dar, it's ok with Dally if I play. And if I get hurt, it's my own damn fault." Darry wasn't gonna give up that easy. "But Lexa with your knee and all..." I rolled my eyes, he always had to bring that up.
When I was 13 years old I'd been on a ladder helping the Curtis put up Christmas lights. Our brilliant friend Mr. Steve Randle hadn't been paying attition to what he was doing, and had managed to knock the ladder over, with me on it. I'd landed on my right knee really funny, and had popped it outta place, causing us all to take a trip to the ER. I'd had to use crutches for two-months and Steve had been my personal slave. All and all it wasn't the worst thing that had happened to me, but my knee still hurt once in a while.
"Dar, you konw perfectly well my knees fine. I mean I run track on it don't I?" Darry gave me a stren look, letting me know that he wasn't giving in, It really stunk, cuz even tough he wasn't related to me he was teh oldest and what he said pretty much stuck with the gang. I looked at Dally for help, but it wasn't him that came to my rescue. "Darry, let her play. We're wasting time, cuz you know your gonna give in and let her play anyways, after she gives you that puppy dog look." I looked words lessly at Two-Bit, not believing he'd taken my side. Our eyes met, and he grinned half-heartedly as Darry gave in. "Oh alright, just be careful k?" I nodded, taking my place between Two-bit and Pony. "Hey Two-Bit?" He looked over at me, his face expressionless. "Thanks." He didn't even grin.
"Steve, I've come to the conclusion, you need to stay away from me. Everytime you come near me I get hurt." I pressed the towle wraped ice to my knee as I said this, sending Steve a teasing glance. So Darry was right, as usual, I'd ended up getting hurt. But it wasn't really my fault, it's hard to concantrat when one of your best friends won't even look at you. "It's not my fault you ran into me." Was the answer I recived from an over cocky Steve. Ok, so maybe I had ran into him, but ya know that wasn't my fault either. Much. " And it's not my fault your accident prone." I grinned innocently causing the guys to chuckle. Steve chucked a pillow at me, and i ducked letting it hit the wall behind me. For a moment everything felt right, like the past three days hadn't even taken place. The guys were all laughing and joking, and I smiled sheepishly.
But reality always has a way of kicking you just when you think your up.....