7.
Last Chapter Lines:
"Vaughn. Will you do something for me?"
I look at her. "Of course Sydney, I'll do anything you want."
"Just. . . hold me."
I stand there for a minute, not knowing exactly how to manage that. I walk over to the other side of the bed and look at her. She's sleeping already, breathing softly. I could leave but I can't. She asked me to do something for her and it breaks my heart that I don't know how.
Softly, I climb onto the bed with her, not knowing if this is allowed. I don't care. I lie next to her and wrap her in my arms. It feels right. Perfect. I was born to hold Sydney Bristow. And as I slightly tighten my grasp around her waist, I swear I see her lips curve into a smile.
I had been planning on staying there for a few minutes but I ended up drifting away, lost in her scent and the feel of her body against mine. The machines around us hummed in an almost comforting way and I buried my head in her shoulder and closed my eyes too.
We stayed in that position, sleeping together like that, for the next hour and a half. And I almost feel like she's completely healthy wrapped up in my arms like that. That maybe if I just hold her tightly enough and manage to forget everything, she will wake up brand new again.
My last thought was of her. Of course. How could I think of anything else when Sydney is all around me? And then I fell asleep, drowning in the blackness that threatened to overcome my life.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder hesitantly but with a subtle strength and I opened my eyes.
"Hi Jack," I feel almost as if we're friends but the look in his eyes tells me that he might have changed his mind on that one.
"What are you doing? Why are you on the bed with my daughter?" His face almost looks thunderous but not with rage. There is anger in his face but it is mixed with concern and questions and sadness. I do not blame him. He has lost everything. Everyone.
I remove my arm from under her carefully, hoping that she won't wake up. "Can I talk to you outside?"
He studies my for a moment, creases forming on his forehead, but then he nods and steps out of the room.
"Sir, you have got to know by now that I have feelings for your daughter. And it's not silly infatuation that I will get over in time. This is the real, hard-hitting stuff. I love her more than I love anything in the world. I have sacrificed my job and my paycheck and my life to be with her everyday and you know what? I don't regret it. Being here, with her. . . it's the most amazing gift just to be in her presence." I look up at him, and for the first time I see him as a person. Not an officer or a stern father but just as he is. Suffering. A man who is losing his daughter in so many ways. Losing her to death, losing her to sickness. . . losing her to me.
"Of course by now I have recognized that you have certain. . . attachments with my daughter. And I want you to know that I appreciate you sacrificing your time and energy to be with her. It does make her very happy to be surrounded by those who love her," He looks down at the floor, trying to put together all that he is saying. "But she is weak and though she does care for you, I do not think that it is your right to hold her like that. In her bed."
"Jack, I understand where you're coming from and I have only one question." He looks up at me expectantly, sorrow clouding his eyes. "Are you aware that your daughter loves me back?"
His mouth drops a little. "Did she say that to you?"
"Yes." And despite the mixed expression on his face I feel jubilant. Sydney Bristow, woman of my dreams, love of my life, loves me. "Here Jack, sit down for a minute. I have to explain everything to you because you deserve that."
He sat down, never losing his concentration.
"I was with your daughter earlier today. Visiting her. And she was still asleep and looking so peaceful that I felt I could cry. We don't see her peaceful a lot these days. I took the liberty of taking her hand in mine and just. . . just talking to her." Jack nods. He understands what I do. He has often walked in on such occasions and, feeling as if he were interrupting some special moment, has backed out with dignity. He gave me my time. And for that I am grateful. "And then she woke up. And it was different from any other thing that has ever happened. She didn't recognize me. She looked and looked at my face but didn't see it. She looked down at our hands and wasn't sure of anything. She didn't know whether she should keep her hand in mine or take it away. She didn't know what we were to each other, she didn't know our relationship.
"It was like I disappeared off the face of the earth. Because if I don't exist to her, then I just don't exist." A tear formed at the corner of my eye. But I will it to go away; this story does have a happy ending and I have to get there. I have Jack's unwavering attention.
"I couldn't handle it. Suddenly not mattering anymore. I had visited this woman every day, held her hand, talked to her. She had never failed to recognize me before. And it felt as if my world collapsed. I couldn't take it anymore and I walked out of the room. And I couldn't stop myself from crying. And these. . . these horribly animalistic sounds kept coming from my throat. I couldn't stop them. It felt as if my heart were being ripped in two. I thought I was going to die Jack. I really could not find any reason to live.
"But then she came out of the room. And she placed her hand on my shoulder and she knew me again. And she cried into my chest because she was so lost. She wasn't sure of herself anymore and that had been the only constant thing in her life. I carried her back to her bed and she talked to me. Not mouthing words but actually speaking. And hearing her voice filled me with such relief. But it was the words themselves that completely changed my life.
"She told me that she was scared of dying. That it was the only thing she was truly scared of because she didn't know anything about it. She didn't know where she was going to be going and she didn't want to be alone. She was so so scared. And at that moment, I wanted to do anything for her, just to take away all her fears and doubts. I wanted to take her place or hold her hand. . . or anything.
"So I did, I pulled her close and I held her in my arms and she felt like air. She was so light and thin and I was scared. But then she looked me in the eyes and. . . She hasn't changed, Jack. Inside, she is exactly the same. And she told me-
"-She told me that all she wanted-" I gulped.
"-was to grow old with me. With ME." As the words tumbled out of my mouth, I was once again filled with wonderment. I couldn't believe I was so lucky.
"To be loved by her. . . Oh Jack, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. But then she broke down, told be about her dreams of marrying me and having a family and how it would never come true. And then she told me loved me. Really told me so that I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind of what she was trying to say." I took a breath.
"And then the pain came. And she still wouldn't let me stay, wouldn't let me support her. So I left.
"And as I was walking, I saw this store. And inside the window, at the very center of the display, was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my life. The thinnest silver band with another curling silver wire threaded and embedded and moving all around it. And at the center of one side was a diamond so perfect that you almost couldn't see it. Even without it, the ring was beautiful. With it, it just enhanced the ring itself. And I found myself thinking that the ring was like us. Intricate, complicated, beautiful, and with something so wonderfully special about us that almost no one can see it but everyone can feel it. It was amazing.
"And that's when I knew. That's when I found out how to get rid of Sydney's loneliness. I want to be with her wherever she goes. Even to death. At least in spirit. She has my heart; she knows that; but I still needed to show her somehow. So I put all the love I had in my heart into the ring-
". . . and I proposed to her."
Jack looked at me, unsure of what to say. He sympathized and understood. But the fact that his daughter loved me and that I had proposed within a day dumbfounded him.
"She accepted, Jack. And then I kissed her. It was chaste, just a brushing of my lips against hers and yet it felt like my life was complete. I love your daughter Jack. I love her forever, I love her always, with my whole heart, with all my body, and with every particle in my being. I just. . . I love her.
"And for the first time, it's fully returned. And she asked me to do a favor. How could I refuse anything she asks of me?
"She asked me to hold her.
" And I did."
I stop. There is nothing else to tell. Except for the wildly racing emotions in my heart and mind, the story up till now is over.
And his reaction is unlike anything I could have imagined. "Thank you."
That's it. That's the only reply he has for me.
"Thank you for making my daughter so happy."
(review!~)
Last Chapter Lines:
"Vaughn. Will you do something for me?"
I look at her. "Of course Sydney, I'll do anything you want."
"Just. . . hold me."
I stand there for a minute, not knowing exactly how to manage that. I walk over to the other side of the bed and look at her. She's sleeping already, breathing softly. I could leave but I can't. She asked me to do something for her and it breaks my heart that I don't know how.
Softly, I climb onto the bed with her, not knowing if this is allowed. I don't care. I lie next to her and wrap her in my arms. It feels right. Perfect. I was born to hold Sydney Bristow. And as I slightly tighten my grasp around her waist, I swear I see her lips curve into a smile.
I had been planning on staying there for a few minutes but I ended up drifting away, lost in her scent and the feel of her body against mine. The machines around us hummed in an almost comforting way and I buried my head in her shoulder and closed my eyes too.
We stayed in that position, sleeping together like that, for the next hour and a half. And I almost feel like she's completely healthy wrapped up in my arms like that. That maybe if I just hold her tightly enough and manage to forget everything, she will wake up brand new again.
My last thought was of her. Of course. How could I think of anything else when Sydney is all around me? And then I fell asleep, drowning in the blackness that threatened to overcome my life.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder hesitantly but with a subtle strength and I opened my eyes.
"Hi Jack," I feel almost as if we're friends but the look in his eyes tells me that he might have changed his mind on that one.
"What are you doing? Why are you on the bed with my daughter?" His face almost looks thunderous but not with rage. There is anger in his face but it is mixed with concern and questions and sadness. I do not blame him. He has lost everything. Everyone.
I remove my arm from under her carefully, hoping that she won't wake up. "Can I talk to you outside?"
He studies my for a moment, creases forming on his forehead, but then he nods and steps out of the room.
"Sir, you have got to know by now that I have feelings for your daughter. And it's not silly infatuation that I will get over in time. This is the real, hard-hitting stuff. I love her more than I love anything in the world. I have sacrificed my job and my paycheck and my life to be with her everyday and you know what? I don't regret it. Being here, with her. . . it's the most amazing gift just to be in her presence." I look up at him, and for the first time I see him as a person. Not an officer or a stern father but just as he is. Suffering. A man who is losing his daughter in so many ways. Losing her to death, losing her to sickness. . . losing her to me.
"Of course by now I have recognized that you have certain. . . attachments with my daughter. And I want you to know that I appreciate you sacrificing your time and energy to be with her. It does make her very happy to be surrounded by those who love her," He looks down at the floor, trying to put together all that he is saying. "But she is weak and though she does care for you, I do not think that it is your right to hold her like that. In her bed."
"Jack, I understand where you're coming from and I have only one question." He looks up at me expectantly, sorrow clouding his eyes. "Are you aware that your daughter loves me back?"
His mouth drops a little. "Did she say that to you?"
"Yes." And despite the mixed expression on his face I feel jubilant. Sydney Bristow, woman of my dreams, love of my life, loves me. "Here Jack, sit down for a minute. I have to explain everything to you because you deserve that."
He sat down, never losing his concentration.
"I was with your daughter earlier today. Visiting her. And she was still asleep and looking so peaceful that I felt I could cry. We don't see her peaceful a lot these days. I took the liberty of taking her hand in mine and just. . . just talking to her." Jack nods. He understands what I do. He has often walked in on such occasions and, feeling as if he were interrupting some special moment, has backed out with dignity. He gave me my time. And for that I am grateful. "And then she woke up. And it was different from any other thing that has ever happened. She didn't recognize me. She looked and looked at my face but didn't see it. She looked down at our hands and wasn't sure of anything. She didn't know whether she should keep her hand in mine or take it away. She didn't know what we were to each other, she didn't know our relationship.
"It was like I disappeared off the face of the earth. Because if I don't exist to her, then I just don't exist." A tear formed at the corner of my eye. But I will it to go away; this story does have a happy ending and I have to get there. I have Jack's unwavering attention.
"I couldn't handle it. Suddenly not mattering anymore. I had visited this woman every day, held her hand, talked to her. She had never failed to recognize me before. And it felt as if my world collapsed. I couldn't take it anymore and I walked out of the room. And I couldn't stop myself from crying. And these. . . these horribly animalistic sounds kept coming from my throat. I couldn't stop them. It felt as if my heart were being ripped in two. I thought I was going to die Jack. I really could not find any reason to live.
"But then she came out of the room. And she placed her hand on my shoulder and she knew me again. And she cried into my chest because she was so lost. She wasn't sure of herself anymore and that had been the only constant thing in her life. I carried her back to her bed and she talked to me. Not mouthing words but actually speaking. And hearing her voice filled me with such relief. But it was the words themselves that completely changed my life.
"She told me that she was scared of dying. That it was the only thing she was truly scared of because she didn't know anything about it. She didn't know where she was going to be going and she didn't want to be alone. She was so so scared. And at that moment, I wanted to do anything for her, just to take away all her fears and doubts. I wanted to take her place or hold her hand. . . or anything.
"So I did, I pulled her close and I held her in my arms and she felt like air. She was so light and thin and I was scared. But then she looked me in the eyes and. . . She hasn't changed, Jack. Inside, she is exactly the same. And she told me-
"-She told me that all she wanted-" I gulped.
"-was to grow old with me. With ME." As the words tumbled out of my mouth, I was once again filled with wonderment. I couldn't believe I was so lucky.
"To be loved by her. . . Oh Jack, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. But then she broke down, told be about her dreams of marrying me and having a family and how it would never come true. And then she told me loved me. Really told me so that I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind of what she was trying to say." I took a breath.
"And then the pain came. And she still wouldn't let me stay, wouldn't let me support her. So I left.
"And as I was walking, I saw this store. And inside the window, at the very center of the display, was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my life. The thinnest silver band with another curling silver wire threaded and embedded and moving all around it. And at the center of one side was a diamond so perfect that you almost couldn't see it. Even without it, the ring was beautiful. With it, it just enhanced the ring itself. And I found myself thinking that the ring was like us. Intricate, complicated, beautiful, and with something so wonderfully special about us that almost no one can see it but everyone can feel it. It was amazing.
"And that's when I knew. That's when I found out how to get rid of Sydney's loneliness. I want to be with her wherever she goes. Even to death. At least in spirit. She has my heart; she knows that; but I still needed to show her somehow. So I put all the love I had in my heart into the ring-
". . . and I proposed to her."
Jack looked at me, unsure of what to say. He sympathized and understood. But the fact that his daughter loved me and that I had proposed within a day dumbfounded him.
"She accepted, Jack. And then I kissed her. It was chaste, just a brushing of my lips against hers and yet it felt like my life was complete. I love your daughter Jack. I love her forever, I love her always, with my whole heart, with all my body, and with every particle in my being. I just. . . I love her.
"And for the first time, it's fully returned. And she asked me to do a favor. How could I refuse anything she asks of me?
"She asked me to hold her.
" And I did."
I stop. There is nothing else to tell. Except for the wildly racing emotions in my heart and mind, the story up till now is over.
And his reaction is unlike anything I could have imagined. "Thank you."
That's it. That's the only reply he has for me.
"Thank you for making my daughter so happy."
(review!~)