With My Dying Breath

Thanks to all who read and reviewed this story; I truly hope that you enjoyed it because I loved writing it (not for the Death but for the experience of writing such emotion).

This is for all of you who need a good cry~ It's good for you.

Final Chapter

"Michael, in the movies, this is usually the time... the time where the woman ... tells... tells the man to promise to love someone else."

I start to speak but she covers my mouth with her hand.

"...but I'm too selfish... I'm not going to stop you from loving someone else... But I don't want you to forget me right away."

She laughs at herself but it turns into a sob. "I'm... I'm so jealous that you'll love someone more than you love me. I'm sorry I'm so jealous. I do want you to be happy."

This time I stop her. "Syd, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. What you are... no one else could even compare. No one."

And I find the strength in me to give her comfort and this time, I'm the one cradling her to my chest.

And I realize how she was able to give me strength when she had none of her own. It wasn't strength.

It was love.

And that source is not depletable. There is no end.

And when I come to that realization, I look back down at her, ready to tell her that she can go.

But I guess she knew that already because her eyes are closed.


And even though I knew she would leave me, I feel the anguish fill my throat and pour out of my mouth as realization hits me hard in the heart until I'm left flailing in darkness and shadow.

The love of my life is gone. And I am alone.



I would rather roam the world

Forever as a ghost

Than enter Heaven

Without You

~:~

I look out at the sea of faces looking up at me as I start to speak. My whole face feels limp and I'm not sure if I can find the strength to say these words.

They said that ten to fifteen minutes is a good amount to eulogize. Ten to fifteen minutes? How can I sum up everything that Sydney Bristow was, is, and should have been to me in that period of time?


What will be will be. So I start slow.

"I loved Sydney Bristow for so long and with such intensity that I can't even remember life without her. She was so full of life and this magical sort of energy that it is amazing to me that I was the one she chose to experience it with her.

"She truly did make me a better person and I consider myself lucky to have had her with me for as long as I have." I see the tears falling down their faces but none of them know.

None of them truly know how much it hurts to bury your fiancé. Ironic that she and I are the only ones in this crowd to have done it.

"Some of you don't know who I am. My name is Michael Vaughn and Sydney Bristow was my fiancé."

Michael, why are you so good to me?

I love you Sydney, trust me when I say that the only place you could bring me is up.

There is a general shock running through their faces because they didn't know. How could they?

"You know, I read that cancer patients change, that they look like completely different people after a year or so. Sydney was different because she always remained beautiful. She would keep pictures of people she loved at her bedside table and..."

I don't know where I'm going with this. I feel so lost.

The breeze feels wonderful Michael.

Sydney, come here and sit down before you catch a cold.

I don't want to sit down, You stand up and join me.

And I did, standing up behind her, enfolding her small frame in my arms, smelling the sweet scent that belonged to only her as the wind blew it past my senses.

"I could tell all of you that she was daring and beautiful and smart and funny but you already knew that. I don't really know exactly what I'm trying to do now... I think I'm trying to find words that would describe her essence with such perfection that all of you would knew immediately that it was her. But it's impossible.

"She's too many things. Was. She's frail but she's so strong. Was so strong, I mean." God, I can't say anything right.

Don't tickle me Michael, I mean it, if you come any closer I'll kick your ass. And I can do it too.

I know. But I'm tickling you anyway.

"And there are moments when you think that you and she are the only people left on the entire world because of the attention she gives to you,"

Sydney, I'm not going to dance with you in the middle of the street! I don't care what song it is, it doesn't call for public humiliation.

Please Vaughn? Forget the people and focus on me. Don't you want to dance with me?

Yeah. I do.

"And the thing that never ceased to amaze me was how she made me want to be a better person. And how I always felt fuller when I was with her."

I hunch over myself for a second, feeling the tears come down my face. And despite myself, the silent whisper becomes amplified and everyone hears what I say next. "I love you Sydney, please don't leave me."

And my throat closes up and I can't speak anymore.

~:~

The moon is shining on the water is almost perfect, the little speckles of light rest on the tops of the waves so comfortably and- and-

I myself am resting on the rail of the pier, warding myself of the too many memories of her sickness that await me at home.

Here I remember the good times, remember her when we were both healthy and active and so far engaged in forbidden love.

I smile despite myself but it doesn't last for long; every memory I have of Sydney Bristow is only followed by the horrific realization that she is no longer with me.

The water doesn't seem to shine to brightly anymore.

It is a soap opera after all isn't it? Man loves Woman. Woman loves Man. Woman dies and leaves Man all alone.

There may be more fish in the sea Syd but this one still loves you with all his heart.

The end.

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