How To Write An LOTR Mary-Sue
Chapter 2: Bye Bye Love
Disclaimer and A/n: All characters belong to Tolkein except Mary-Sue, and I'm sure he wouldn't want her. Thanks to all the lovely people who reviewed me nicely! As for Starbrat, Madeleine541 and Frodofan, if you don't like, don't read! As I've had more positive comments (and some good ideas) than negatives, I'm going to carry it on. So ner to anyone who don't like it.
Mary-Sue and [insert character] lived for many years/months/days/hours/minutes in perfect harmony together. Their love was purer than anyone else's, and everybody who saw them had a feeling of happiness (or an uncontrollable urge to vomit). They strolled merrily through the trees with sun in their hair and each other's arm around their waist.
"Oh Mary-Sue!" [insert character] exclaimed, "I love you!"
"J'adore tu aussi," Mary-Sue replied, using their own private language. (Thanks, San Antonio Rose!).
They spent some time staring into each other's eyes, while the birds sang happily above. As he looked at her, [insert character] was struck again by her beauty. His elven/human/hobbit/dwarven/wizardly eyes could see no flaws in her perfect complexion. Her hair was a perfect waterfall of gold/silver/black/pink/other. He put his hand on her [insert body part] and smiled at her handsomely.
"Thou art well pretty, my fair one," he said, using another of the obscure languages that they were both so fluent in. She smiled coyly, fluttering her perfect eyelashes.
Suddenly, there was the sound of fighting from beyond the trees. [Insert character] immediately leapt to his feet and drew his bow/sword/dagger/axe/staff. He ran to the noise, and saw a group of orcs tormenting an old lady. Mary-Sue watched, her eyes wide, as he attacked the orcs head on. Horrified, she saw him bravely fighting, not noticing the orc behind him with a long sword.
The orc's sword plunged deep into [insert character]'s [insert body part]. He let out a cry, but still managed to kill the last orc. Mary-Sue ran forward to cradle her true love's head in her lap. He looked up, his life leaving him before her eyes.
"I love thee," he whispered hoarsely.
"I love you too," she replied, "I always will." [Insert character] smiled weakly, and breathed his last.
"What's happened?" a new voice called. [Insert character 2 (not the same as the last one)] was running through the trees towards her. "Mary-Sue?"
"He's dead," she moaned, tears falling down her face but not, miraculously, smudging her makeup.
"Not [insert character]!" [Insert character 2] exclaimed. "[Insert character] was my best friend."
"And I loved him," Mary-Sue cried, "he was my only true love."
[Insert character 2]'s arm went round her shoulders, comforting her. His close proximity to her made Mary-Sue realise how manly and attractive he was. His [insert body part] was very [insert appropriate adjective], and she turned to look at him better. He turned at the same time, and their faces met.
In a moment they were kissing, madly and passionately. Eventually, when the kiss broke, Mary-Sue glanced up at [insert character 2].
"But what about [insert character]?" she asked tremulously.
"It's what he would have wanted," [insert character 2] assured her. They kissed again, lost in their passion, forgetting the dead body that still lay beside them.
Chapter 2: Bye Bye Love
Disclaimer and A/n: All characters belong to Tolkein except Mary-Sue, and I'm sure he wouldn't want her. Thanks to all the lovely people who reviewed me nicely! As for Starbrat, Madeleine541 and Frodofan, if you don't like, don't read! As I've had more positive comments (and some good ideas) than negatives, I'm going to carry it on. So ner to anyone who don't like it.
Mary-Sue and [insert character] lived for many years/months/days/hours/minutes in perfect harmony together. Their love was purer than anyone else's, and everybody who saw them had a feeling of happiness (or an uncontrollable urge to vomit). They strolled merrily through the trees with sun in their hair and each other's arm around their waist.
"Oh Mary-Sue!" [insert character] exclaimed, "I love you!"
"J'adore tu aussi," Mary-Sue replied, using their own private language. (Thanks, San Antonio Rose!).
They spent some time staring into each other's eyes, while the birds sang happily above. As he looked at her, [insert character] was struck again by her beauty. His elven/human/hobbit/dwarven/wizardly eyes could see no flaws in her perfect complexion. Her hair was a perfect waterfall of gold/silver/black/pink/other. He put his hand on her [insert body part] and smiled at her handsomely.
"Thou art well pretty, my fair one," he said, using another of the obscure languages that they were both so fluent in. She smiled coyly, fluttering her perfect eyelashes.
Suddenly, there was the sound of fighting from beyond the trees. [Insert character] immediately leapt to his feet and drew his bow/sword/dagger/axe/staff. He ran to the noise, and saw a group of orcs tormenting an old lady. Mary-Sue watched, her eyes wide, as he attacked the orcs head on. Horrified, she saw him bravely fighting, not noticing the orc behind him with a long sword.
The orc's sword plunged deep into [insert character]'s [insert body part]. He let out a cry, but still managed to kill the last orc. Mary-Sue ran forward to cradle her true love's head in her lap. He looked up, his life leaving him before her eyes.
"I love thee," he whispered hoarsely.
"I love you too," she replied, "I always will." [Insert character] smiled weakly, and breathed his last.
"What's happened?" a new voice called. [Insert character 2 (not the same as the last one)] was running through the trees towards her. "Mary-Sue?"
"He's dead," she moaned, tears falling down her face but not, miraculously, smudging her makeup.
"Not [insert character]!" [Insert character 2] exclaimed. "[Insert character] was my best friend."
"And I loved him," Mary-Sue cried, "he was my only true love."
[Insert character 2]'s arm went round her shoulders, comforting her. His close proximity to her made Mary-Sue realise how manly and attractive he was. His [insert body part] was very [insert appropriate adjective], and she turned to look at him better. He turned at the same time, and their faces met.
In a moment they were kissing, madly and passionately. Eventually, when the kiss broke, Mary-Sue glanced up at [insert character 2].
"But what about [insert character]?" she asked tremulously.
"It's what he would have wanted," [insert character 2] assured her. They kissed again, lost in their passion, forgetting the dead body that still lay beside them.