A/N: Whoo, finally updated! Sorry, guys, but lately I've been
on a bit of a one-shot kick, as well as writing in both a Gundam
Wing fic and a Wish/Card Captor Sakura crossover. However, I've
written an extra-long installment this time, so hopefully
that'll help make up for it, eh?
"Kiss Me, Houshi!"
"So, Kagome," Kouga said finally, "Can you please explain why you never bothered to tell me that you were immortal?" He, said Kagome, and the ever pissed-off but currently quite bishounen Inu-Yasha-in-a-trenchcoat were currently tucked away in a corner of the cafeteria. In said corner, the contents of Kouga's wallet had all gone towards more food for the Inu-Yasha-in-a- trenchcoat, who apparently hadn't been satisfied with Kagome's lunch.
"Um, I thought you'd be dead by now?" Kagome tried weakly. "But I'm not immortal, Kouga-kun, just, um . . . local."
"Meaning . . . ?" the youkai inquired dryly.
"Why don't YOU explain how these idiot humans," the Inu-Yasha-in- a-trenchcoat jerked his head to indicate the disinterested people surrounding them in the cafeteria, "can't see you for what you are?"
"Easy." Kouga shrugged. "Even you should know that no one believes in youkai anymore, Inu-Yasha. They don't see what they don't want to see. So if my eyes look a little odd or my ears seemed slightly pointed, they dismiss it as a quirk of genetics and get used to it and the odd company I keep. After all, even you are walking around with hardly a glance in your direction."
"Oh, come on!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed in disgust, slamming a fist on the table. "I'm not stupid, I can see how your body has changed! Yeah, maybe your ears are still a little pointed, but a hell of a lot less so than before, and your tail's completely gone! How do we even know that you're really him?!"
Kagome could see his point. The differences were relatively subtle, but definitely there. But still, those defiant, flat blue eyes . . .
Kagome had no trouble believing that those were Kouga's eyes.
"You idiot!" Kouga groaned. "I never had a tail, that was just part of the pelt I used to wear around my waist!"
"Really? Are you sure?" Kagome asked, blinking in surprise. "I thought it was real, like Sesshoumaru's."
"Wha- No!" Kouga squawked.
"Damn shame; that thing was cute," she muttered. Kouga turned bright red and Inu-Yasha gagged on his food.
"What the FUCK, bitch?!" he yelled.
"Osuwari," Kagome said automatically.
And down went the dog demon. Boom.
"So, whatever happened to Ayame?" Kagome asked conversationally as Inu-Yasha yanked himself out of the soup.
Kouga palled and said nothing.
"Oh, Kouga-kun, I'm sorry!" Kagome cried, realizing that the other youkai must have died after all this time.
"Yeah, we got hitched," Kouga said gloomily, slumping down in his seat.
Kagome twitched. "What?!" she yelped.
"Ooo . . . " Inu-Yasha winced. "Shit, Kouga, you poor bastard."
"We have sixty-three children," the wolf wailed, burying his face in his arms and whimpering.
Inu-Yasha snickered. "Awww, did the puppy get old and whipped?"
"Fuck off, dogface," Kouga growled, throwing a straw wrapper at the other. "Okay, Kagome, let's move on. Why are you not dead right now?"
"Umm . . . " Kagome blushed. "Just because?" she tried.
"Somehow I find that unenlightening," Kouga retorted dryly. "Come on, Kagome- don't I deserve a straight answer?"
"Oh crap, guilt," Kagome moaned. "Damn it."
"Just tell him!" Inu-Yasha snapped.
"I'm TRYING!" she shrieked. "But I can't just blurt it out like- "
"There's a well in the back of the bitch's house that lets her travel from this time period to the Warring States era," Inu- Yasha said calmly. "She uses it to track down the Shikon Shards and fight Naraku with us."
"Is that all?" Kouga blinked. "Big deal; you could've mentioned that sooner."
Kagome twitched again and dearly wished that she'd had an extra rosary in her pocket.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*DING-DONG* sounded through the Higurashi household for the third time.
"Er," Miroku said eloquently.
"Just open the door, Houshi-sama!" Sango hissed, flicking two daggers out of her sleeves and into her hands even as she stepped to the side of it. They had been about to exit the house when the doorbell had inexplicably rung, and neither had taken the shock well.
"Are you certain that's a good idea?" The monk was clearly skeptical.
"Kagome-chan said that's what the bell is for!" Sango snapped. "You ring it if you want permission to come inside!"
"Very well," he said doubtfully. Miroku reached out to open it with his un-cursed hand; the knot of the cursed one's sheath in his mouth and ready to be ripped away in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, a lot of enemies moved faster than that, as they both knew with depressing certainty.
Fortunately, none of those were present. As the door swung in, a frantic middle-aged woman bustled in with a toddler and a cry of "Thank God, someone's here!" Then she gave Miroku a suspicious look. "Shouldn't you be in school, Makoto-kun?"
" . . . Yes?" Miroku guessed helplessly even as she shoved the child into his arms.
"He's had his nap, but no lunch yet, and oh, honey, I'm SO sorry to dump him on you like this but there's an emergency at the restaurant and I couldn't get a hold of anyone at all, please just watch him, I'll be back as soon as I can!" she said in a rush. Miroku idly wondered if she didn't need to breathe.
"Mister!" the toddler crooned, tugging on the monk's ponytail. "Mister, 'm hungryyy!"
"Akira-chan, don't whine!" the woman scolded. "Makoto-kun, I should be back after dinner hour, alright? If Akito's girlfriend kicks you out, you can go to our place- just call me if you can, okay?" With that, she raced out without even shutting the door.
Miroku blinked. "Um?"
The door swung shut, revealing Sango and her very puzzled expression behind it. "Who on earth was that?"
"You think I know, Sango?" Miroku shrugged. "I'm more concerned with who 'Makoto-kun' and 'Akito's girlfriend' are supposed to be. I'm assuming that 'Akira' is the child's name . . . "
"That's right- she DID call you Makoto, didn't she," Sango recalled with a slight frown, slipping her daggers back into her sleeves. "I wonder why? The child doesn't seem to recognize you."
"Mister, Mister!" Akira exclaimed. "Wha's yer name?"
"Uh, Miroku," the monk replied. "And the lovely lady is Sango the exterminator."
"Wha's she 'sterminate?" the boy asked.
"Youkai," Miroku answered.
"Cooool!" Akira crowed. "I wanna 'sterminate youkai!"
"Maybe later," Miroku told him. "For now, though, there is a youkai you can help us find. Would you like that?"
"Yay!" the child cheered.
"I'll take that as a yes," Miroku decided, and reopened the door.
"This is not going to end well," Sango muttered. "Houshi-sama, you can't seriously expect us to take a child along!"
"Would you rather leave it here with Shippou and Souta?" Miroku asked reasonably.
" . . . good point," Sango admitted ruefully, tightening up her ponytail. "Ah well, I'll have to keep my guard up then. It's just as well."
"Besides, he's cute," Miroku added, adjusting the child's weight on his hip. Akira giggled. Sango just snorted.
"Feed me!" Akira demanded (in an endearing way, of course, as Sango was beginning to suspect he did everything).
"You know where the kitchen is?" Miroku glanced to Sango.
"Afraid not," she told him, heading towards the interior of the house. "We'll just have to go find it."
"Lovely." He sighed. "It could be anywhere."
"Or it could be in the next room," Sango added a moment later, withdrawing her head from said room.
" . . . oh." Miroku blushed. "Well, yes, if you want to look in all the OBVIOUS places, sure it is."
Akira giggled again. "'roku-kun silly," he cooed.
The monk stuck out his tongue at him. "Am not."
"Kiss me!" Akira demanded, and promptly smacked his lips against Miroku's in the usual inexplicable way that toddlers do. Sango audibly growled.
"Such an endearing little girl!" Miroku gushed. "Will you bear my child, Akira-chan?"
"Houshi-sama!" Sango shrieked. "It's a BOY!"
"Is it really?" Miroku blinked at the child. "With pretty hair like that?" He fingered the child's glossy, shoulder-length locks doubtfully. "Red," he murmured. "That's quite rare . . . "
"It is lovely," Sango agreed with a small sigh of resignation, stepping up and petting Akira's head as well. Her fingers tangled with Miroku's for an instant. The two jerked away from each other simultaneously and both furiously pretended that nothing had happened.
Akira giggled again and grabbed a hold of Miroku's loosened hair. "Pretty lady!" he purred, licking the monk's cheek. Had it not been very disturbing, Sango reflected, it might have been cute.
"To Kagome-sama's school, then!" Miroku declared, wisely changing the subject before Sango got jealous of the three year- old.
He was too late, of course, but then again, he always was.
* tbc . . . *
. : review. what, i need to say more? : .
"Kiss Me, Houshi!"
"So, Kagome," Kouga said finally, "Can you please explain why you never bothered to tell me that you were immortal?" He, said Kagome, and the ever pissed-off but currently quite bishounen Inu-Yasha-in-a-trenchcoat were currently tucked away in a corner of the cafeteria. In said corner, the contents of Kouga's wallet had all gone towards more food for the Inu-Yasha-in-a- trenchcoat, who apparently hadn't been satisfied with Kagome's lunch.
"Um, I thought you'd be dead by now?" Kagome tried weakly. "But I'm not immortal, Kouga-kun, just, um . . . local."
"Meaning . . . ?" the youkai inquired dryly.
"Why don't YOU explain how these idiot humans," the Inu-Yasha-in- a-trenchcoat jerked his head to indicate the disinterested people surrounding them in the cafeteria, "can't see you for what you are?"
"Easy." Kouga shrugged. "Even you should know that no one believes in youkai anymore, Inu-Yasha. They don't see what they don't want to see. So if my eyes look a little odd or my ears seemed slightly pointed, they dismiss it as a quirk of genetics and get used to it and the odd company I keep. After all, even you are walking around with hardly a glance in your direction."
"Oh, come on!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed in disgust, slamming a fist on the table. "I'm not stupid, I can see how your body has changed! Yeah, maybe your ears are still a little pointed, but a hell of a lot less so than before, and your tail's completely gone! How do we even know that you're really him?!"
Kagome could see his point. The differences were relatively subtle, but definitely there. But still, those defiant, flat blue eyes . . .
Kagome had no trouble believing that those were Kouga's eyes.
"You idiot!" Kouga groaned. "I never had a tail, that was just part of the pelt I used to wear around my waist!"
"Really? Are you sure?" Kagome asked, blinking in surprise. "I thought it was real, like Sesshoumaru's."
"Wha- No!" Kouga squawked.
"Damn shame; that thing was cute," she muttered. Kouga turned bright red and Inu-Yasha gagged on his food.
"What the FUCK, bitch?!" he yelled.
"Osuwari," Kagome said automatically.
And down went the dog demon. Boom.
"So, whatever happened to Ayame?" Kagome asked conversationally as Inu-Yasha yanked himself out of the soup.
Kouga palled and said nothing.
"Oh, Kouga-kun, I'm sorry!" Kagome cried, realizing that the other youkai must have died after all this time.
"Yeah, we got hitched," Kouga said gloomily, slumping down in his seat.
Kagome twitched. "What?!" she yelped.
"Ooo . . . " Inu-Yasha winced. "Shit, Kouga, you poor bastard."
"We have sixty-three children," the wolf wailed, burying his face in his arms and whimpering.
Inu-Yasha snickered. "Awww, did the puppy get old and whipped?"
"Fuck off, dogface," Kouga growled, throwing a straw wrapper at the other. "Okay, Kagome, let's move on. Why are you not dead right now?"
"Umm . . . " Kagome blushed. "Just because?" she tried.
"Somehow I find that unenlightening," Kouga retorted dryly. "Come on, Kagome- don't I deserve a straight answer?"
"Oh crap, guilt," Kagome moaned. "Damn it."
"Just tell him!" Inu-Yasha snapped.
"I'm TRYING!" she shrieked. "But I can't just blurt it out like- "
"There's a well in the back of the bitch's house that lets her travel from this time period to the Warring States era," Inu- Yasha said calmly. "She uses it to track down the Shikon Shards and fight Naraku with us."
"Is that all?" Kouga blinked. "Big deal; you could've mentioned that sooner."
Kagome twitched again and dearly wished that she'd had an extra rosary in her pocket.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*DING-DONG* sounded through the Higurashi household for the third time.
"Er," Miroku said eloquently.
"Just open the door, Houshi-sama!" Sango hissed, flicking two daggers out of her sleeves and into her hands even as she stepped to the side of it. They had been about to exit the house when the doorbell had inexplicably rung, and neither had taken the shock well.
"Are you certain that's a good idea?" The monk was clearly skeptical.
"Kagome-chan said that's what the bell is for!" Sango snapped. "You ring it if you want permission to come inside!"
"Very well," he said doubtfully. Miroku reached out to open it with his un-cursed hand; the knot of the cursed one's sheath in his mouth and ready to be ripped away in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, a lot of enemies moved faster than that, as they both knew with depressing certainty.
Fortunately, none of those were present. As the door swung in, a frantic middle-aged woman bustled in with a toddler and a cry of "Thank God, someone's here!" Then she gave Miroku a suspicious look. "Shouldn't you be in school, Makoto-kun?"
" . . . Yes?" Miroku guessed helplessly even as she shoved the child into his arms.
"He's had his nap, but no lunch yet, and oh, honey, I'm SO sorry to dump him on you like this but there's an emergency at the restaurant and I couldn't get a hold of anyone at all, please just watch him, I'll be back as soon as I can!" she said in a rush. Miroku idly wondered if she didn't need to breathe.
"Mister!" the toddler crooned, tugging on the monk's ponytail. "Mister, 'm hungryyy!"
"Akira-chan, don't whine!" the woman scolded. "Makoto-kun, I should be back after dinner hour, alright? If Akito's girlfriend kicks you out, you can go to our place- just call me if you can, okay?" With that, she raced out without even shutting the door.
Miroku blinked. "Um?"
The door swung shut, revealing Sango and her very puzzled expression behind it. "Who on earth was that?"
"You think I know, Sango?" Miroku shrugged. "I'm more concerned with who 'Makoto-kun' and 'Akito's girlfriend' are supposed to be. I'm assuming that 'Akira' is the child's name . . . "
"That's right- she DID call you Makoto, didn't she," Sango recalled with a slight frown, slipping her daggers back into her sleeves. "I wonder why? The child doesn't seem to recognize you."
"Mister, Mister!" Akira exclaimed. "Wha's yer name?"
"Uh, Miroku," the monk replied. "And the lovely lady is Sango the exterminator."
"Wha's she 'sterminate?" the boy asked.
"Youkai," Miroku answered.
"Cooool!" Akira crowed. "I wanna 'sterminate youkai!"
"Maybe later," Miroku told him. "For now, though, there is a youkai you can help us find. Would you like that?"
"Yay!" the child cheered.
"I'll take that as a yes," Miroku decided, and reopened the door.
"This is not going to end well," Sango muttered. "Houshi-sama, you can't seriously expect us to take a child along!"
"Would you rather leave it here with Shippou and Souta?" Miroku asked reasonably.
" . . . good point," Sango admitted ruefully, tightening up her ponytail. "Ah well, I'll have to keep my guard up then. It's just as well."
"Besides, he's cute," Miroku added, adjusting the child's weight on his hip. Akira giggled. Sango just snorted.
"Feed me!" Akira demanded (in an endearing way, of course, as Sango was beginning to suspect he did everything).
"You know where the kitchen is?" Miroku glanced to Sango.
"Afraid not," she told him, heading towards the interior of the house. "We'll just have to go find it."
"Lovely." He sighed. "It could be anywhere."
"Or it could be in the next room," Sango added a moment later, withdrawing her head from said room.
" . . . oh." Miroku blushed. "Well, yes, if you want to look in all the OBVIOUS places, sure it is."
Akira giggled again. "'roku-kun silly," he cooed.
The monk stuck out his tongue at him. "Am not."
"Kiss me!" Akira demanded, and promptly smacked his lips against Miroku's in the usual inexplicable way that toddlers do. Sango audibly growled.
"Such an endearing little girl!" Miroku gushed. "Will you bear my child, Akira-chan?"
"Houshi-sama!" Sango shrieked. "It's a BOY!"
"Is it really?" Miroku blinked at the child. "With pretty hair like that?" He fingered the child's glossy, shoulder-length locks doubtfully. "Red," he murmured. "That's quite rare . . . "
"It is lovely," Sango agreed with a small sigh of resignation, stepping up and petting Akira's head as well. Her fingers tangled with Miroku's for an instant. The two jerked away from each other simultaneously and both furiously pretended that nothing had happened.
Akira giggled again and grabbed a hold of Miroku's loosened hair. "Pretty lady!" he purred, licking the monk's cheek. Had it not been very disturbing, Sango reflected, it might have been cute.
"To Kagome-sama's school, then!" Miroku declared, wisely changing the subject before Sango got jealous of the three year- old.
He was too late, of course, but then again, he always was.
* tbc . . . *
. : review. what, i need to say more? : .