A Gundam Bride by Shahrezad1 (Parody of 'The Princess Bride")
Warning: shall contain more than a few Relena and Blondes-in-General jokes.
Gomen. I'm a brunette. There shall also be some Duo jokes. Once again, I
ask you to take them all in stride.
Disclaimer: This isn't called a Parody and a Fanfic for nothing. I am poor.
So Sue me. Actually, don't sue. I am poor. No money. *watches as a moth
flies from her wallet* I state my case.
"Thanks for inviting us over, Relena," Quatre said gratefully as he balanced several young girls snuggling him all at the same time.
"It was no problem, I just hope you guys can come back again some time."
"Uncle Quatre," one of the blonde damsels said, pouting up at her famous relative, "please can we come back? Please! Please!"
Laughing, he hugged her tenderly, "we'll have to see what your Mom says. My sister will doubtlessly chew my head off if she finds I've spoiled you all."
Hilde snorted as she entered the room, perching her son higher up on her hip, "Quatre, they're not spoiled and you know it. Give yourself some credit."
"Well, if I do then Rashid says I get a big head and he really doesn't want to deal with a Duo copy 24-7," he grinned somewhat cheekily as the two females mock-kicked him.
"Ooh, I will get revenge on you, Quatre Raberba Winner," Hilde vowed, shaking one finger at the young man and not noticing as her braided child began chewing on the end of her now shoulder-length black hair.
"Revenge? Did I hear someone say revenge?" a seductive voice asked as a certain four-browed female entered the room.
Relena smiled, "Quatre is going to receive retribution for bad jokes centering around Hilde's husband."
Ah, "Dorothy smiled slowly, leaning against the wall and folding her arms across her chest, "for a minute there I thought I was going to watch Duo being chased around the room by Wufei again."
Hilde sighed dejectedly, "does everyone enjoy making fun of my husband?!"
There was a pause before everyone spoke in unison, "yes."
Suddenly Heero appeared out of nowhere, a sleeping two year old laying in his arms. It was odd watching the former perfect soldier act so gentle with his child, even going so far as to twirl his callused fingers in the dark coils of his son's hair as the boy obliviously dozed.
"Looks like he's finally drifted off," the now married man stated softly, trying to hand their child over to Relena. He was unsuccessful, however, as the gentle infant just snuggled closer to his father.
She smiled softly and rested her head on his shoulder, "maybe you can hold him for a bit longer. It looks like we've got a Daddy's boy on our hand."
Heero's eyes widened, as if he had just realized something profound: that there was now another life which depended upon him completely. There would be no running anymore, and somehow that relieved him.
Quatre smiled and merely held two of Iria's three daughters tighter. The oldest was drowsily leaning against his leg, bored with the boring adult conversation while another sister's children, twin boys by the name of Adrian and Alecsander, were already being brought out to the car by Rashid. It was at that moment that he saw a flash of color on the back of one of his nieces' necks, making him frown. Abruptly he groaned as he saw something any parent would dread, "um...we have a problem, guys."
What's that?" Hilde asked, blinking.
"I think Kasey has chicken pox...and she's been playing with the other kids all day."
The German woman paled as Relena jerked in surprise, then sighed wearily, "I'll go buy some Oatmeal and Camomile lotion. You should round up everyone in the largest parlor, Heero."
Watching everyone with wide eyes he whispered to an empty room, "how's a chicken going to hurt the children....and why do you need lotion for it?"
"So, you're all sick, are you?" a metal-eyed, grey-haired, claw-handed, old man asked a roomful of children. Most of their parents had gone to do some errands, whether it was shopping for food, starting up the baths, searching for extra pajamas, or mixing anti-itch poultices. In fact, the only two left among the horde of thirteen children were Trowa and Heero, who had surprising patience with the small babies of the group: both their sons.
"Tell us a story, Grandpa J," Melody asked plaintively while scratching her arm with fervor, the oldest of Iria's daughters at 8 years old.
"I could..." he let his words slip slowly into silence before Duo's first child, Threnody, sat forward and eagerly watched the older man, pouting.
"Pwease, Pwease, Mthter J," the black haired 6 year old spoke through her missing two front teeth, "tell uth a thtory!"
"The only way I'll tell you all a story is if you promise to do something for me," the old scientist finally said, chuckling behind his thick grey mustache and beard.
Sonnet popped up, her red curls springing up along her head as she tried to get the doctor's attention. Trowa smiled slightly at his Niece's antics, "I'll feed the Lion for my Mom if you tell us!"
One of Wufei's twin daughters gave her a scathing look, "you do that anyway, Ballad."
"My name's not Ballad, it's Sonnet!"
"Balad, Balad, Balad!" The black haired girl taunted, revealed to be the arrogant sister.
Her twin, Li, sighed, her blue eyes flashing with fire, "will you grow up, Kim?"
"Weak Onna," Kim shot back, sticking out her tongue.
"Girls, girls," Doctor J finally said, calling everything to order, "how about we make a deal. I'll tell you a story so long as you don't fight or scratch at your spots. Is that okay?"
"Yes, Mister J!"
"Thanks for inviting us over, Relena," Quatre said gratefully as he balanced several young girls snuggling him all at the same time.
"It was no problem, I just hope you guys can come back again some time."
"Uncle Quatre," one of the blonde damsels said, pouting up at her famous relative, "please can we come back? Please! Please!"
Laughing, he hugged her tenderly, "we'll have to see what your Mom says. My sister will doubtlessly chew my head off if she finds I've spoiled you all."
Hilde snorted as she entered the room, perching her son higher up on her hip, "Quatre, they're not spoiled and you know it. Give yourself some credit."
"Well, if I do then Rashid says I get a big head and he really doesn't want to deal with a Duo copy 24-7," he grinned somewhat cheekily as the two females mock-kicked him.
"Ooh, I will get revenge on you, Quatre Raberba Winner," Hilde vowed, shaking one finger at the young man and not noticing as her braided child began chewing on the end of her now shoulder-length black hair.
"Revenge? Did I hear someone say revenge?" a seductive voice asked as a certain four-browed female entered the room.
Relena smiled, "Quatre is going to receive retribution for bad jokes centering around Hilde's husband."
Ah, "Dorothy smiled slowly, leaning against the wall and folding her arms across her chest, "for a minute there I thought I was going to watch Duo being chased around the room by Wufei again."
Hilde sighed dejectedly, "does everyone enjoy making fun of my husband?!"
There was a pause before everyone spoke in unison, "yes."
Suddenly Heero appeared out of nowhere, a sleeping two year old laying in his arms. It was odd watching the former perfect soldier act so gentle with his child, even going so far as to twirl his callused fingers in the dark coils of his son's hair as the boy obliviously dozed.
"Looks like he's finally drifted off," the now married man stated softly, trying to hand their child over to Relena. He was unsuccessful, however, as the gentle infant just snuggled closer to his father.
She smiled softly and rested her head on his shoulder, "maybe you can hold him for a bit longer. It looks like we've got a Daddy's boy on our hand."
Heero's eyes widened, as if he had just realized something profound: that there was now another life which depended upon him completely. There would be no running anymore, and somehow that relieved him.
Quatre smiled and merely held two of Iria's three daughters tighter. The oldest was drowsily leaning against his leg, bored with the boring adult conversation while another sister's children, twin boys by the name of Adrian and Alecsander, were already being brought out to the car by Rashid. It was at that moment that he saw a flash of color on the back of one of his nieces' necks, making him frown. Abruptly he groaned as he saw something any parent would dread, "um...we have a problem, guys."
What's that?" Hilde asked, blinking.
"I think Kasey has chicken pox...and she's been playing with the other kids all day."
The German woman paled as Relena jerked in surprise, then sighed wearily, "I'll go buy some Oatmeal and Camomile lotion. You should round up everyone in the largest parlor, Heero."
Watching everyone with wide eyes he whispered to an empty room, "how's a chicken going to hurt the children....and why do you need lotion for it?"
"So, you're all sick, are you?" a metal-eyed, grey-haired, claw-handed, old man asked a roomful of children. Most of their parents had gone to do some errands, whether it was shopping for food, starting up the baths, searching for extra pajamas, or mixing anti-itch poultices. In fact, the only two left among the horde of thirteen children were Trowa and Heero, who had surprising patience with the small babies of the group: both their sons.
"Tell us a story, Grandpa J," Melody asked plaintively while scratching her arm with fervor, the oldest of Iria's daughters at 8 years old.
"I could..." he let his words slip slowly into silence before Duo's first child, Threnody, sat forward and eagerly watched the older man, pouting.
"Pwease, Pwease, Mthter J," the black haired 6 year old spoke through her missing two front teeth, "tell uth a thtory!"
"The only way I'll tell you all a story is if you promise to do something for me," the old scientist finally said, chuckling behind his thick grey mustache and beard.
Sonnet popped up, her red curls springing up along her head as she tried to get the doctor's attention. Trowa smiled slightly at his Niece's antics, "I'll feed the Lion for my Mom if you tell us!"
One of Wufei's twin daughters gave her a scathing look, "you do that anyway, Ballad."
"My name's not Ballad, it's Sonnet!"
"Balad, Balad, Balad!" The black haired girl taunted, revealed to be the arrogant sister.
Her twin, Li, sighed, her blue eyes flashing with fire, "will you grow up, Kim?"
"Weak Onna," Kim shot back, sticking out her tongue.
"Girls, girls," Doctor J finally said, calling everything to order, "how about we make a deal. I'll tell you a story so long as you don't fight or scratch at your spots. Is that okay?"
"Yes, Mister J!"