7. …we play Wizard's Monopoly, the Death Eater Version
Harry and Hermione sat on Hermione's bed, utterly bewildered. Hermione had her own
bedroom now that she was Head Girl, and the real Blaise was stuffed in her closet, still in
a catatonic state. They had heard every word that Ron whispered into the amplifier,
which made no sense, because neither of them had cast the spell to activate it.
"I don't understand," Hermione said vehemently. "It makes absolutely no sense!"
Harry, thumbing through the copy of "Magical Eavesdropping For Fun and Profit" that
they had borrowed from the Library's Restricted Section, shook his head. "I swear we
cast the spell right." He looked suspiciously at the companion amplifier, one of a pair of
silvers earring that they had enchanted. It was silent, hopefully because it was picking up
no sound from the Council Room and not because Lucius had seen Ron talking into his
hand and had thrown him (her) into the dungeon.
"Oh…no." Harry muttered. "Here it is. We screwed up." He pried apart two pages that
were stuck together with what appeared to be strawberry jam. The next page contained
notes about the Magical Amplifier spell, an illustration of a young witch with her ear
pressed up against an enchanted cabbage, and the following text:
"Warning! Precious metals may disrupt the flow of magic between the amplifiers. Avoid
using objects made of gold, silver, platinum, or bronze. Dragon scales and glass objects
are likely to explode under the effects of this spell. Use with caution!"
"Shit," Harry swore.
Saturday mornings at the Malfoy house were, apparently, Monopoly time. Ron had
woken to find Draco gone, and found him a half hour later in the dining room,
impeccably dressed. Ron nervously smoothed the strappy yellow dress that he had chosen
– Blaise didn't seem to believe in jeans, or in underwear that wasn't a thong -- and sat
down to breakfast with Draco and the rest of the Malfoy clan. There was one tense
moment when Narcissa dropped her fork after hearing Ron belch, but the rest of the meal
was rather uneventful.
That is, until the butler rolled out a silver cart upon which was placed a Monopoly board
and several stacks of fake money. Ron was confused. Somehow, in all his imaginings of
what Draco's family life must be like, he had never dreamed that they sat around on
Saturday mornings and played Wizard's Monopoly: The Death Eater Version.
Lucius gleefully distributed the "money," then conjured the playing pieces with a wave of
his hand. Ron almost rolled his eyes when he saw that Lucius' was a small version of
Lucius himself, complete with cape and silver walking stick, which it was now swinging
around dangerously while cackling evilly. Narcissa's playing piece, a small, delicate
white horse, was stomping its hooves and tossing its head around in agitation. Draco's
piece was a small silver dragon that breathed green fire and an occasional hairball. Draco
glared at it and muttered something about mice. Ron looked down to see what he was to
play with and groaned when he realized that it was a topless mermaid who was currently
engaged in brushing her long, blonde hair. She winked at him. Ron looked pleadingly at
Draco, who also winked at him.
The play began. Lucius bought the first property he landed on, which happened to be
Knockturn Alley. At this, the mini-Lucius launched into a victory dance, jumping around
and clicking his heels together.
Narcissa landed on Chance and drew a card. She read it primly: "Voldemort returns to
power and wreaks havoc in a Muggle village. Collect 50 galleons." Her horse turned
towards mini-Lucius and stuck its tongue out.
Draco landed on Chance as well. "Go directly to Azkaban. Do not pass Go. Do not
collect 200 Galleons." He grimaced as a cage appeared out of nowhere and tiny
Dementors herded his dragon into it. The cage disappeared in a cloud of green smoke.
"Bloody card!" Draco exclaimed and threw it down, sulking.
Ron reached for the dice and rolled them. His mermaid jumped into the board, the surface
rippling as if it were water. She surfaced the appropriate six places ahead. Ron peered at
the property: The Slytherin Dungeon. The picture showed the Slytherin Common Room,
full of cheering Slytherins holding aloft the House and Quidditch Cups.
"I'll buy it!" Ron said decisively, counting out the appropriate amount of money. He slid
it over to Lucius.
"Oh, dear," Lucius drawled. "It seems I've just gained myself a property."
"What?!" Ron shrieked.
"It's true," Draco said sadly. "You didn't sing the Slytherin Sonnet before you gave him
the money, so he gets the property by default. Death Eater rules."
Ron's ears turned red. This was War.
Severus Snape, Hogwarts Potion Master, was hard at work on one of his latest projects.
Dumbledore had asked him to stay on over the Holidays to brew a number of
complicated potions for the Ministry of Magic, and Snape was only too happy to comply.
They needed a large quantity of Veritaserum as well as many dangerous or illegal potions
that few people besides him had the skill and knowledge to make. He reached into the
cabinet and felt his fingers close around empty space where the kappa venom should be.
It was gone.
"Prior Revealus," he said softly, and saw the closet as it had been days ago. He saw Harry
Potter and Hermione Granger tiptoe in under an invisibility cloak that he could see
through thanks to the security charm he had placed on the room after a third-year
Slytherin had taken all of his mountain goat toenails and put them in Professor
Trelawney's teapot (he had appreciated the idea, but he did get really peeved when
people took his ingredients). The phantom Harry and Hermione shoved several bottles in
their pockets and hurried away, blinking out of sight. Severus felt rage building in the pit
of his stomach.
"Potter…" he said quietly, like a promise.
Harry and Hermione sat on Hermione's bed, utterly bewildered. Hermione had her own
bedroom now that she was Head Girl, and the real Blaise was stuffed in her closet, still in
a catatonic state. They had heard every word that Ron whispered into the amplifier,
which made no sense, because neither of them had cast the spell to activate it.
"I don't understand," Hermione said vehemently. "It makes absolutely no sense!"
Harry, thumbing through the copy of "Magical Eavesdropping For Fun and Profit" that
they had borrowed from the Library's Restricted Section, shook his head. "I swear we
cast the spell right." He looked suspiciously at the companion amplifier, one of a pair of
silvers earring that they had enchanted. It was silent, hopefully because it was picking up
no sound from the Council Room and not because Lucius had seen Ron talking into his
hand and had thrown him (her) into the dungeon.
"Oh…no." Harry muttered. "Here it is. We screwed up." He pried apart two pages that
were stuck together with what appeared to be strawberry jam. The next page contained
notes about the Magical Amplifier spell, an illustration of a young witch with her ear
pressed up against an enchanted cabbage, and the following text:
"Warning! Precious metals may disrupt the flow of magic between the amplifiers. Avoid
using objects made of gold, silver, platinum, or bronze. Dragon scales and glass objects
are likely to explode under the effects of this spell. Use with caution!"
"Shit," Harry swore.
Saturday mornings at the Malfoy house were, apparently, Monopoly time. Ron had
woken to find Draco gone, and found him a half hour later in the dining room,
impeccably dressed. Ron nervously smoothed the strappy yellow dress that he had chosen
– Blaise didn't seem to believe in jeans, or in underwear that wasn't a thong -- and sat
down to breakfast with Draco and the rest of the Malfoy clan. There was one tense
moment when Narcissa dropped her fork after hearing Ron belch, but the rest of the meal
was rather uneventful.
That is, until the butler rolled out a silver cart upon which was placed a Monopoly board
and several stacks of fake money. Ron was confused. Somehow, in all his imaginings of
what Draco's family life must be like, he had never dreamed that they sat around on
Saturday mornings and played Wizard's Monopoly: The Death Eater Version.
Lucius gleefully distributed the "money," then conjured the playing pieces with a wave of
his hand. Ron almost rolled his eyes when he saw that Lucius' was a small version of
Lucius himself, complete with cape and silver walking stick, which it was now swinging
around dangerously while cackling evilly. Narcissa's playing piece, a small, delicate
white horse, was stomping its hooves and tossing its head around in agitation. Draco's
piece was a small silver dragon that breathed green fire and an occasional hairball. Draco
glared at it and muttered something about mice. Ron looked down to see what he was to
play with and groaned when he realized that it was a topless mermaid who was currently
engaged in brushing her long, blonde hair. She winked at him. Ron looked pleadingly at
Draco, who also winked at him.
The play began. Lucius bought the first property he landed on, which happened to be
Knockturn Alley. At this, the mini-Lucius launched into a victory dance, jumping around
and clicking his heels together.
Narcissa landed on Chance and drew a card. She read it primly: "Voldemort returns to
power and wreaks havoc in a Muggle village. Collect 50 galleons." Her horse turned
towards mini-Lucius and stuck its tongue out.
Draco landed on Chance as well. "Go directly to Azkaban. Do not pass Go. Do not
collect 200 Galleons." He grimaced as a cage appeared out of nowhere and tiny
Dementors herded his dragon into it. The cage disappeared in a cloud of green smoke.
"Bloody card!" Draco exclaimed and threw it down, sulking.
Ron reached for the dice and rolled them. His mermaid jumped into the board, the surface
rippling as if it were water. She surfaced the appropriate six places ahead. Ron peered at
the property: The Slytherin Dungeon. The picture showed the Slytherin Common Room,
full of cheering Slytherins holding aloft the House and Quidditch Cups.
"I'll buy it!" Ron said decisively, counting out the appropriate amount of money. He slid
it over to Lucius.
"Oh, dear," Lucius drawled. "It seems I've just gained myself a property."
"What?!" Ron shrieked.
"It's true," Draco said sadly. "You didn't sing the Slytherin Sonnet before you gave him
the money, so he gets the property by default. Death Eater rules."
Ron's ears turned red. This was War.
Severus Snape, Hogwarts Potion Master, was hard at work on one of his latest projects.
Dumbledore had asked him to stay on over the Holidays to brew a number of
complicated potions for the Ministry of Magic, and Snape was only too happy to comply.
They needed a large quantity of Veritaserum as well as many dangerous or illegal potions
that few people besides him had the skill and knowledge to make. He reached into the
cabinet and felt his fingers close around empty space where the kappa venom should be.
It was gone.
"Prior Revealus," he said softly, and saw the closet as it had been days ago. He saw Harry
Potter and Hermione Granger tiptoe in under an invisibility cloak that he could see
through thanks to the security charm he had placed on the room after a third-year
Slytherin had taken all of his mountain goat toenails and put them in Professor
Trelawney's teapot (he had appreciated the idea, but he did get really peeved when
people took his ingredients). The phantom Harry and Hermione shoved several bottles in
their pockets and hurried away, blinking out of sight. Severus felt rage building in the pit
of his stomach.
"Potter…" he said quietly, like a promise.