9. …something is wrong with Miss Granger
Snape flowed like a dark wave into the room and slammed the door shut behind him.
"Just what do you think you were doing sneaking into my laboratory and stealing rare
ingredients?" Snape's voice was booming. "Those are not toys I keep locked in that
cupboard."
Upon his entry the two students had risen from their place on the floor and backed up
until they ran into Hermione's closet like two magnets repelled by their opposite charge.
Snape's fingers had come together in that gesture of menace known throughout Hogwarts
and he was just now taking in his surroundings. "And what, dare I ask, were you two
doing on the floor when I came in?"
Catching the glint of metal, Hermione spoke quickly. "We were just looking for my
earring. Oh, there it is." And she bent down and scooped up the enchanted earring,
hurrying to attach it to her ear.
"Nononononono not in here." This was emitted, rather quietly, from the earring just as
she was bringing it up to her head. Hermione started and just about dropped it, thinking
for a moment that the earring had come to life and was dreading her proximity before
realizing that it had picked up something from the council room at Malfoy Manor.
"Something wrong miss Granger?"
"No, no. It pricked me, that's all." The earring had once again gone silent and Hermione
puzzled over the possible causes, while Harry gave her a strange look. Snape continued
his tirade.
"Do you two even have any idea how to properly handle kappa venom? Miss Granger, I
know you think that you are extensively read, but it has taken me years of study to be
able to safely handle ingredients like these. How can irresponsible behavior like this be
tolerated at this school!?"
Harry was staring defiantly at Snape, like the idiot he always was. Hermione was biting
her lip and looking guiltily down at her shoes. And that was when it happened. She
could hear the earring sort of crackling at her ear before bursting out with "…eat yours?"
at full volume.
Snape turned white with rage. "Just what are you suggesting Miss Granger?"
"I…..I" Hermione couldn't think of any good reply, considering the circumstances.
Fortunately Harry had picked up on what was going on.
"She's just been a little confused lately, Sir. I think she must have read about twenty
books in the last couple of days and she's having trouble retaining it all. You should hear
some of the stuff she's been babbling."
"Oh, I see." Snape sat down on the bed, arms crossed, and unknowingly ground Blaise's
pinky under his heel. "Well this is even worse, isn't it? Don't think I don't know that
Miss Granger is the brains of your operation. This calls for some very serious
punishments. But first I think we should get your partner in crime in here. No sense in
repeating myself. Where is Mr. Weasley?"
"Oh, he had nothing to do with it." Hermione was talking too fast. "He..he hasn't been
feeling well and..and.." She trailed off and then burst out laughing as, "It's time for the
tomato," was whispered silkily in her ear.
"You see what I mean, Sir?" Harry was trying to play up the lie. "She's gotten a bit
unstable."
"Oh, enough of this nonsense." Snape was looking increasingly perturbed. "Psychosis
Claritarus," and Hermione immediately shut up, her mind having gone icy clear. "I'll
deal with Mr. Weasley later. The first thing you two shall be doing is helping me build
up a full stock of kappa venom. Mr. Potter shall assist me in hunting down a few nice,
deadly kappa and you, Miss Granger, will help me distill the venom from the various
glands."
"Eewwww," Hermione was only glad the earring had made a comment that fit into the
conversation this time.
"And for that I shall be extra nice and let you prepare the carcasses for tanning when we
are through." Hermione sighed and nodded, her perfect-student brain admitting that the
punishment was, unfortunately, fair. "Now, which one of you wants to tell me what,
exactly, you were planning on doing with your stolen ingredients?"
Harry and Hermione stood frozen, minds locked on what to say. Hermione started
grinding her teeth, having caught another fragment from the earring. This time it was,
"…mustard everywhere!" and despite the gravity of the situation, she was having a great
deal of trouble keeping a straight face. "Harry, could you put this on the table, please?
It's giving me a headache." That thing was just far too distracting.
"No more stalling, you two. Speak now or I'll be forced to use this truth serum I brewed
up just for the occasion." From the glint in his eye, it was obvious that Snape wanted
nothing more than a chance to use that serum.
"I am such a slut." Ron pondered this, realizing as he did that he didn't feel nearly as bad
about it as he should. His conscience, it would seem, had gone on an extended holiday.
Besides, when someone starts licking mustard off of then inside of your thigh, it becomes
instantly more difficult to concentrate. And when tomatoes were placed on certain other
parts of the anatomy…okay, it sounded weird, but was really quite enjoyable. If he ever
got a girlfriend, he would definitely have to explore the fun of playing with sandwich
fixings. And maybe Italian food. He had a sudden, disturbing mental image of Hermione
with a large meatball on her head and shuddered.
"What is it?" Draco had gotten dressed again and his clothes were miraculously free of
wrinkles. Somehow this infuriated Ron and a hint of his old animosity resurfaced.
"Nothing!" Ron said sharply and, picking up his shoes, stalked out of the room. What
was wrong with him? This was Draco. He hated Draco! Ron suddenly thought of the
memory spell he would have to perform on Blaise so that she "remembered" everything
that happened this weekend. After all, Draco might bring up the sandwich encounter in
casual conversation. You just never knew.
Ron was glad that Draco didn't follow him. He headed up to his bedroom, wanting
nothing more than to change out of this ridiculous dress and take a nap. Alone. He felt
tired and wrung out and like he needed a bath. Actually, that was a fabulous idea. He
changed courses to the guest bathroom on the second floor. A silent figure watched him
go and chuckled, twirling his walking stick menacingly.
Snape flowed like a dark wave into the room and slammed the door shut behind him.
"Just what do you think you were doing sneaking into my laboratory and stealing rare
ingredients?" Snape's voice was booming. "Those are not toys I keep locked in that
cupboard."
Upon his entry the two students had risen from their place on the floor and backed up
until they ran into Hermione's closet like two magnets repelled by their opposite charge.
Snape's fingers had come together in that gesture of menace known throughout Hogwarts
and he was just now taking in his surroundings. "And what, dare I ask, were you two
doing on the floor when I came in?"
Catching the glint of metal, Hermione spoke quickly. "We were just looking for my
earring. Oh, there it is." And she bent down and scooped up the enchanted earring,
hurrying to attach it to her ear.
"Nononononono not in here." This was emitted, rather quietly, from the earring just as
she was bringing it up to her head. Hermione started and just about dropped it, thinking
for a moment that the earring had come to life and was dreading her proximity before
realizing that it had picked up something from the council room at Malfoy Manor.
"Something wrong miss Granger?"
"No, no. It pricked me, that's all." The earring had once again gone silent and Hermione
puzzled over the possible causes, while Harry gave her a strange look. Snape continued
his tirade.
"Do you two even have any idea how to properly handle kappa venom? Miss Granger, I
know you think that you are extensively read, but it has taken me years of study to be
able to safely handle ingredients like these. How can irresponsible behavior like this be
tolerated at this school!?"
Harry was staring defiantly at Snape, like the idiot he always was. Hermione was biting
her lip and looking guiltily down at her shoes. And that was when it happened. She
could hear the earring sort of crackling at her ear before bursting out with "…eat yours?"
at full volume.
Snape turned white with rage. "Just what are you suggesting Miss Granger?"
"I…..I" Hermione couldn't think of any good reply, considering the circumstances.
Fortunately Harry had picked up on what was going on.
"She's just been a little confused lately, Sir. I think she must have read about twenty
books in the last couple of days and she's having trouble retaining it all. You should hear
some of the stuff she's been babbling."
"Oh, I see." Snape sat down on the bed, arms crossed, and unknowingly ground Blaise's
pinky under his heel. "Well this is even worse, isn't it? Don't think I don't know that
Miss Granger is the brains of your operation. This calls for some very serious
punishments. But first I think we should get your partner in crime in here. No sense in
repeating myself. Where is Mr. Weasley?"
"Oh, he had nothing to do with it." Hermione was talking too fast. "He..he hasn't been
feeling well and..and.." She trailed off and then burst out laughing as, "It's time for the
tomato," was whispered silkily in her ear.
"You see what I mean, Sir?" Harry was trying to play up the lie. "She's gotten a bit
unstable."
"Oh, enough of this nonsense." Snape was looking increasingly perturbed. "Psychosis
Claritarus," and Hermione immediately shut up, her mind having gone icy clear. "I'll
deal with Mr. Weasley later. The first thing you two shall be doing is helping me build
up a full stock of kappa venom. Mr. Potter shall assist me in hunting down a few nice,
deadly kappa and you, Miss Granger, will help me distill the venom from the various
glands."
"Eewwww," Hermione was only glad the earring had made a comment that fit into the
conversation this time.
"And for that I shall be extra nice and let you prepare the carcasses for tanning when we
are through." Hermione sighed and nodded, her perfect-student brain admitting that the
punishment was, unfortunately, fair. "Now, which one of you wants to tell me what,
exactly, you were planning on doing with your stolen ingredients?"
Harry and Hermione stood frozen, minds locked on what to say. Hermione started
grinding her teeth, having caught another fragment from the earring. This time it was,
"…mustard everywhere!" and despite the gravity of the situation, she was having a great
deal of trouble keeping a straight face. "Harry, could you put this on the table, please?
It's giving me a headache." That thing was just far too distracting.
"No more stalling, you two. Speak now or I'll be forced to use this truth serum I brewed
up just for the occasion." From the glint in his eye, it was obvious that Snape wanted
nothing more than a chance to use that serum.
"I am such a slut." Ron pondered this, realizing as he did that he didn't feel nearly as bad
about it as he should. His conscience, it would seem, had gone on an extended holiday.
Besides, when someone starts licking mustard off of then inside of your thigh, it becomes
instantly more difficult to concentrate. And when tomatoes were placed on certain other
parts of the anatomy…okay, it sounded weird, but was really quite enjoyable. If he ever
got a girlfriend, he would definitely have to explore the fun of playing with sandwich
fixings. And maybe Italian food. He had a sudden, disturbing mental image of Hermione
with a large meatball on her head and shuddered.
"What is it?" Draco had gotten dressed again and his clothes were miraculously free of
wrinkles. Somehow this infuriated Ron and a hint of his old animosity resurfaced.
"Nothing!" Ron said sharply and, picking up his shoes, stalked out of the room. What
was wrong with him? This was Draco. He hated Draco! Ron suddenly thought of the
memory spell he would have to perform on Blaise so that she "remembered" everything
that happened this weekend. After all, Draco might bring up the sandwich encounter in
casual conversation. You just never knew.
Ron was glad that Draco didn't follow him. He headed up to his bedroom, wanting
nothing more than to change out of this ridiculous dress and take a nap. Alone. He felt
tired and wrung out and like he needed a bath. Actually, that was a fabulous idea. He
changed courses to the guest bathroom on the second floor. A silent figure watched him
go and chuckled, twirling his walking stick menacingly.