13. …Ron is not the calmest person in the world
"I guess I forgot about the ball when I did that." Draco was trying, and failing, to look
apologetic about the bite mark that showed very clearly on Ron's left breast. The
neckline of the ridiculous dress was much too low to cover it and the cape fastened above
it. If Ron had been the girl he was masquerading as he would have been tapping his foot
menacingly and looking pissy but as it was he was merely overwhelmed by the sheer
ridiculousness of the situation and was shaking with the effort of trying not to laugh.
Actually, the bite mark would have gone fine with the costume, since he was obviously
dressed up to be Dracula Draco's bride, but for one small problem. The bite had
obviously been made by blunt, human teeth and, therefore was obviously real. Ron was
sure that Death Eaters had nothing really against biting each other, but displaying it in
public, he was sure, was another matter entirely.
Ron's giggle fit gradually receded as his brain started to travel down another one of those
horribly logical, inevitable, ridiculous paths. The main motivation for this path was this:
before, Draco was not wearing vampire teeth; now, he was. "Ok, so you'll just have to
bite me again, it'll just look like a really realistic part of the costume. Just make sure it's
in EXACTLY the same place or it will just look really stupid." Ron knew that he was
sounding far too logical and this usually wasn't a good thing.
Draco, on the other hand, looked both delighted and hesitant. "Are you sure? Don't
forget your parents are going to be there. You could always try hiding it with make-up or
something."
Ron made a strangled sound at the mention of the parents thing. Oh, those two were SO
going to die. "Just do it already!" he snapped quickly before his brain became too
involved. Draco hastened to comply.
"Are you sure he'll be alright?" Ginny could tell she was being a pest but she was rather
worried about her brother (also, she had a hard time making herself leave the presence of
Harry Potter).
"He'll be fine." Harry had his nose in a book, doing his best to avoid looking at Ginny,
who was being a pest.
"But you know he's not the calmest person out there?" Ginny was starting to whine,
partly because she was highly annoyed with Harry. He paid her so little attention that she
almost would have thought he was gay if it weren't for those stupid magazines she kept
finding under the bed when she cleaned his room for him. Really, the boy was such a
slob. "But a slob with such pretty eyes," her mind whispered. "Fine, I'll just go see if
Hermione needs any help studying then," she spat as Harry failed to reply and marched
from the room. Harry breathed a small sigh of relief as she left. Then he laughed,
thinking of Ron dressed up in a ball gown, and resolved to tease him about it when he got
back.
Ron grinned stupidly as he received another blank look from Blaise's mother.
Apparently inquiring whether her parents had had a good trip was not a typical Blaise
thing to say, or else Ron was dealing with some serious misinformation. Seemingly
trying to make a great effort to act as though everything were normal, the woman must
have decided that acting motherly was the best way to go. "Are you sure you don't want
a tissue? It really does look like you're bleeding. It's getting into the lace."
"I told you mother, it's fake." Ron wanted nothing more than to get away. The problem
was, it WAS bleeding, and far to profusely for Ron's comfort. He swore that at the next
opportunity he was going to make that bastard Draco pay for it too. Any idiot could
figure out that vampire fangs would be sharper than regular teeth and that, under the
circumstance, biting gently might be in order.
It was then that a very large and hairy tarantula flew across the room and landed on Ron's
unblemished breast. Now, if Ron had not been Ron, he would have remembered being
introduced to Draco's jerk of a cousin, Blain. He would have remembered being very
relieved that, despite the fact that there was another Malfoy in the house, this one was
twelve years old and hadn't advanced beyond the drop-something-to-get-a-peek-up-the-
girl's-skirt phase and also that Blain had a large, hairy spider, oddly named The Big
Potato, that Blain seemed to like to wave in people's faces.
Upon his prior meeting of The Big Potato, Ron had stiffened and crushed Draco's hand in
a vice grip but managed to remain mostly outwardly calm. Not so this time. This time
Ron screamed, very loud and VERY high. In an unthinking attempt to remove the
monster from his breast Ron started running frantically about the room, waving his arms
ineffectually and bumping into the other guests. This behavior ceased when he tripped
and went careening into Lucius Malfoy, who caught him deftly in his arms, plucked the
offending bug from its creamy white seat and tossed it away to the side. "Having some
trouble, my dear?" Lucius inquired drolly. "I take it we don't like spiders then, do we?"
Ron slapped him, then turned and stalked off to find the punch bowl.
"I'll remember that for the next time you sleep with my Dad then, shall I?" Draco
materialized at Ron's elbow, offering a cup of something that steamed menacingly. Ron
downed it in one gulp.
"You do and you'll wake up castrated in the morning." Ron was beyond caring that he
had apparently morphed into a completely different person once setting foot in Malfoy
Manor; check that, in Malfoy carriage. Only idly did he wonder whether his personality
would change back with his body. What did it matter anymore? What was in that drink
anyway? Then, because he knew he could handle Draco far better than he could handle
this stupid ball he turned to Draco and said, "Hey, you want to ditch this party?" Ron put
on his most seductive smile, which had seen recent improvement in the past couple of
days. Whatever was in that drink was damn good.
"I guess I forgot about the ball when I did that." Draco was trying, and failing, to look
apologetic about the bite mark that showed very clearly on Ron's left breast. The
neckline of the ridiculous dress was much too low to cover it and the cape fastened above
it. If Ron had been the girl he was masquerading as he would have been tapping his foot
menacingly and looking pissy but as it was he was merely overwhelmed by the sheer
ridiculousness of the situation and was shaking with the effort of trying not to laugh.
Actually, the bite mark would have gone fine with the costume, since he was obviously
dressed up to be Dracula Draco's bride, but for one small problem. The bite had
obviously been made by blunt, human teeth and, therefore was obviously real. Ron was
sure that Death Eaters had nothing really against biting each other, but displaying it in
public, he was sure, was another matter entirely.
Ron's giggle fit gradually receded as his brain started to travel down another one of those
horribly logical, inevitable, ridiculous paths. The main motivation for this path was this:
before, Draco was not wearing vampire teeth; now, he was. "Ok, so you'll just have to
bite me again, it'll just look like a really realistic part of the costume. Just make sure it's
in EXACTLY the same place or it will just look really stupid." Ron knew that he was
sounding far too logical and this usually wasn't a good thing.
Draco, on the other hand, looked both delighted and hesitant. "Are you sure? Don't
forget your parents are going to be there. You could always try hiding it with make-up or
something."
Ron made a strangled sound at the mention of the parents thing. Oh, those two were SO
going to die. "Just do it already!" he snapped quickly before his brain became too
involved. Draco hastened to comply.
"Are you sure he'll be alright?" Ginny could tell she was being a pest but she was rather
worried about her brother (also, she had a hard time making herself leave the presence of
Harry Potter).
"He'll be fine." Harry had his nose in a book, doing his best to avoid looking at Ginny,
who was being a pest.
"But you know he's not the calmest person out there?" Ginny was starting to whine,
partly because she was highly annoyed with Harry. He paid her so little attention that she
almost would have thought he was gay if it weren't for those stupid magazines she kept
finding under the bed when she cleaned his room for him. Really, the boy was such a
slob. "But a slob with such pretty eyes," her mind whispered. "Fine, I'll just go see if
Hermione needs any help studying then," she spat as Harry failed to reply and marched
from the room. Harry breathed a small sigh of relief as she left. Then he laughed,
thinking of Ron dressed up in a ball gown, and resolved to tease him about it when he got
back.
Ron grinned stupidly as he received another blank look from Blaise's mother.
Apparently inquiring whether her parents had had a good trip was not a typical Blaise
thing to say, or else Ron was dealing with some serious misinformation. Seemingly
trying to make a great effort to act as though everything were normal, the woman must
have decided that acting motherly was the best way to go. "Are you sure you don't want
a tissue? It really does look like you're bleeding. It's getting into the lace."
"I told you mother, it's fake." Ron wanted nothing more than to get away. The problem
was, it WAS bleeding, and far to profusely for Ron's comfort. He swore that at the next
opportunity he was going to make that bastard Draco pay for it too. Any idiot could
figure out that vampire fangs would be sharper than regular teeth and that, under the
circumstance, biting gently might be in order.
It was then that a very large and hairy tarantula flew across the room and landed on Ron's
unblemished breast. Now, if Ron had not been Ron, he would have remembered being
introduced to Draco's jerk of a cousin, Blain. He would have remembered being very
relieved that, despite the fact that there was another Malfoy in the house, this one was
twelve years old and hadn't advanced beyond the drop-something-to-get-a-peek-up-the-
girl's-skirt phase and also that Blain had a large, hairy spider, oddly named The Big
Potato, that Blain seemed to like to wave in people's faces.
Upon his prior meeting of The Big Potato, Ron had stiffened and crushed Draco's hand in
a vice grip but managed to remain mostly outwardly calm. Not so this time. This time
Ron screamed, very loud and VERY high. In an unthinking attempt to remove the
monster from his breast Ron started running frantically about the room, waving his arms
ineffectually and bumping into the other guests. This behavior ceased when he tripped
and went careening into Lucius Malfoy, who caught him deftly in his arms, plucked the
offending bug from its creamy white seat and tossed it away to the side. "Having some
trouble, my dear?" Lucius inquired drolly. "I take it we don't like spiders then, do we?"
Ron slapped him, then turned and stalked off to find the punch bowl.
"I'll remember that for the next time you sleep with my Dad then, shall I?" Draco
materialized at Ron's elbow, offering a cup of something that steamed menacingly. Ron
downed it in one gulp.
"You do and you'll wake up castrated in the morning." Ron was beyond caring that he
had apparently morphed into a completely different person once setting foot in Malfoy
Manor; check that, in Malfoy carriage. Only idly did he wonder whether his personality
would change back with his body. What did it matter anymore? What was in that drink
anyway? Then, because he knew he could handle Draco far better than he could handle
this stupid ball he turned to Draco and said, "Hey, you want to ditch this party?" Ron put
on his most seductive smile, which had seen recent improvement in the past couple of
days. Whatever was in that drink was damn good.