Fade in on Dib's living room; several of the non-hypnotised kids are there, including Gaz, Keef, Gretchen, Dirge, Melvin, Poonchy, The Letter M, and Torque.
Dib: I bet you're wondering why I brought you all here...
Poonchy: I thought you said there was gonna be pizza!
Dib: The pizza should be coming... but that's not important right now. I'm sure you're all wondering why there have been so many disappearances...
Poonchy: Where's our stinkin' pizza?
Dib: Enough about the pizza, already! I mean, don't you think it's weird that they had to get a substitute for Ms. Bitters?
The group stares blankly at Dib. A few shrug.
Keef: Um, maybe she got sick...
Dib: This is Ms. Bitters we're talking about... she hasn't had a sick day in decades!
Torque: So?
Dib: Don't you see? This isn't a coincidence! All these disappearances...
The Letter M: Is this one of your crazy alien theories? I don't want to hear about how you saw Martians in the park or something!
Dib: Um... I wasn't going to say anything about aliens.
The Letter M: Then what is it?
Dib: Well, um...
Fortunately for Dib, the doorbell rings. Dib and Gaz go to the door. There is a tired-looking pizza guy. Gaz immediately grabs the pizza boxes.
Pizza Guy: Uh, um, sorry we're late and stuff... half our... uh... staff didn't come to... work, or something. Here's a coupon!
Gaz slams the door and takes a slice of pizza. The group of kids crowds around the pizza boxes and begins to devour the food.
Poonchy: Hey! This pizza's cold!
Dib: What did I tell you? Half of the workers in the pizza place are missing! This can only mean...
Torque: Uh, there's a cold going around?
Dib: This is bigger than colds, much bigger. Zim...
The Letter M: Zim? I knew this was going to be about some stupid alien story...
Dib: No, there's a perfectly good explanation that has nothing to do with aliens...
Dirge: Or zombies?
Dib: Or zombies...
Melvin: Or bigfeet?
Dib: Or bigfeet...
The Letter M: Yeah, sure. What is it, then?
Dib: Um... you see... Zim... in some non-alien way, hypno... corece... erm, bribed people to leave town until... until we, uh, beat him at this... contest-thingy.
Gaz: Contest-thingy?
Dib: You know what I mean! He said we were too, um, puny and weak to beat him.
Torque chomped down on his cold pizza.
Torque: Who's he callin' weak?!
Dib: Um... okay. Anyway, unless we band together and win, he won't release the people he... bribed.
Gaz: This sounds stupid!
Keef: What contest is it?
Dib: It's an, erm... talent show.
With the exception of Keef, the kids do not look pleased.
The Letter M: There's no way I'm gonna embarass myself because of some crazy Dib theory!
Dib: It's not cra... I mean, go ahead, but you'll be sorry when Zim has hyp... when you'll have to eat cold pizza for the rest of your life!
Poonchy: Cold pizza? No!
The Letter M: Relax. You know he's lying.
Dib: Do you want to risk it?
Cold Pizza on Your Plate (http://www.broadwaymidi.com/down/MyFairLady-JustYouWait.mid)
Dib: Just try to think of what might be in store:
You'll want hot pizza, but it will be no more!
For, if what I say is valid,
You should just get used to salad!
You'll regret that you'd chosen to ignore!
Imagine what will happen if I'm right;
You will make a call for pizza in the night,
But you won't get a warm sliver,
For there's no one to deliver!
You'll be stuck with cold pizza on your plate!
No more hot pizza...
You'll make do with food that's gotten kinda cold!
No more hot pizza...
You'll be lucky if it's not covered in mold!
You will be certain to brood
When there is no more good food!
You'll be stuck with cold pizza,
You'll be stuck with cold pizza,
On your plate!
The kids stare forlornly at their cold pizzas. There are a few moments of stunned silence. Dib grins victoriously.
Dib: Gaz, let's go downstairs and ask dad if we can borrow his spacesh... er, van. We have a contest to get to!
Dib and Gaz exit the room. They begin walking downstairs to the lab.
Gaz: Why do you have to talk?
Dib: Listen Gaz, here's what's really going on... Zim has some sort of hypno-ray, and he used it to control the minds of all the missing people! They're on the way to planet Broadwaynia right now to perform some terrible, horrifying musical spectacle! And I have to... I mean we have to make sure he loses! And we have to get everyone in their right minds so that things can get back to normal!
Gaz: If you're lying about the pizza thing, you will pay!
They enter the lab. Professor Membrane turns around to see his kids.
Prof. M: Well, hello children. What are you two doing here?
Dib: Can we borrow your spaceship?
Prof. M: Sure. You kids have fun! Wait a second, this doesn't have anything to do with your 'parascience,' does it?
Dib: Erm, no...
Route 'Er Out Through Outer Space (http://www.broadwaymidi.com/down/42ndStreet-ShuffleOffToBuffalo.mid)
Dib: I just want to try and take the spaceship
On a joyride;
On a thrilling, fun, and exciting trip,
Where I will glide
Past planets and quasars,
Suns, comets, moons, and stars...
With that, I will be satisfied...
I will act as a space pilot
And fly the ship for a while; it
Will soon leave this place.
Then I'm gonna route 'er,
Route 'er out through outer space.
I will see each solar system.
How could anyone resist 'em?
Through them I will race,
If you let me route 'er,
Route 'er out through outer space.
Prof. M: Will you try to act in compliance
With the request that I will set
To use the ship for real science,
And your insane theories forget?
Dib: I will do the things I ought to;
Everything that's simply not true
I will not embrace.
Just please let me route 'er,
Route 'er out through outer space.
If that ship you'll simply loan me,
Any theory that is phony
My mind will erase.
As soon as I route 'er,
Route 'er out through outer space.
Think of knowledge I'll be earning,
And true science I'll be learning;
The truth I will face.
I won't be a doubter
Once I visit outer space.
Because if aliens aren't real,
I'll never find a piece of proof.
For me, they will lose their appeal,
And I will then embrace the truth!
It's a dream of ev'ry human
To be in a spaceship zoomin'
At a speedy pace.
Dad, please let me route 'er,
Route 'er out through outer space.
Prof. M: Well, since you put it in verse, how could I say no? Have fun, kids!
Dib: Gaz, you get the others! I'll bring the ship up front!
Gaz: This had better be worth it...
Fade out.