Do What You Have to Do
Part VII
Buffy spent the remainder of the day re-acquainting Spike with the newer Sunnydale. After the park, they had decided to take a quick jaunt through the mall; a jaunt lasted two hours and by the end of the trip, both held two shopping bags worth of purchases. Buffy had been content to head home, but Spike wanted a broader tour of the new and improved town. He had convinced a begrudging slayer to give him said tour without benefit of transportation. Thus they had ambled their way through the town and its outskirts, bogged down with bags for another two hours. Though in supernatural shape, both were thankful for the stiff winds and cloud cover that permeated the day.
Spike had been floored at the changes that had taken place outside of the downtown area. Their first stop had been Spike's former stomping grounds, the warehouse district. Those warehouses had been transformed into to several upscale condominium complexes. Spike made a mental note to call the realtor of the condos later, as they put him in mind of his penthouse in San Diego.
The used-to-be run down docks were in the process of renovation as well, not to mention the motels and other establishments, according to Buffy. It was pretty clear that Sunnydale was in its own little renaissance.
"Bloody hell," he muttered as they made their way back to Revello drive, "a bloke fancies a little sojourn for two years and what's he come back to? Bloody Stepford Farms, that's what."
Buffy laughed at Spike's childish disbelief at the new look Sunnydale. His blue eyes swam with wonder at every stop they had made and he had bombarded her with question after question. It was a side of him Buffy had rarely seen and she reveled in it.
"Yeah, yeah," she replied, waving her hand in the air. "That's what we were like when they started up the rebuilding. I mean, I know I've only been here six years, but Willow and Xander have lived here their whole lives and they couldn't remember something actually being renovated. For those first few months, we thought it was the new mayor and another hidden agenda. But Xander finally assured us that it was nothing but the beautiful initiation of progress. Can't say that this town didn't need it."
"I don't know," Spike drawled, "I kinda liked that warehouse. It had a particular…style about it."
Buffy rolled her eyes as they turned the corner and were now on Revello drive. "Yeah, if you really think that…" Buffy never finished the sentence as she saw the sun's rays gleam off the finish of a familiar black BMW parked in her driveway.
"Buffy," Spike inquired when the slayer froze in place. She looked like she had been punched in the gut, her mouth agape and eyes bulging. Spike called her again and, before she shook off the haze that coiled around her senses, he followed her eyes and noted the foreign vehicle parked in the drive.
"Expectin' company, luv?" Spike asked and the sarcasm was not lost on her.
"Not really," she replied curtly, her legs stiffly propelling her forward.
Spike watched Buffy walk ahead and closed his eyes tightly. The look on her face told him everything he needed to know about the owner of the Beamer. It was that prat she was on the phone with earlier, the same one whose ring she wore. At the mere thought of the ring, Spike growled menacingly, his grip tightening around the bags he held in each hand. Though he had been human--or as close as he could get--for roughly two years now, the territoriality and possessive instinct of the vampire still resided within his bones. His lips barely moved as he whispered what should have been calming words to himself. Though he was not as impulsive as he once was, Spike had no inclinations in hiding the truth that if he were in the same room with this bloke at this moment, he'd rip him limb from limb.
Buffy had taken four steps when she registered the tingling at the back of her neck. Can't be a vampire¸ she thought, confused. She surveyed her surroundings, making sure that there were no places for vamps to hide in the six o'clock sun. After a visual surveillance of the area, her eyes fell on Spike's rigid form behind her, standing perfectly still, his eyes closed. She sighed tiredly before walking back towards him.
"Spike," she called and reached out to touch him but immediately pulled her hand away. The hostility resonating from him had risen to an intensity she hadn't remembered since…well, since he had been her ally against Angelus. Even through the years after, when they were both mortal enemies and comrades, she had never felt him this tense. She understood why it had been that way with Angelus. He had taken Spike's lover and sire from him, stripping the younger vampire of his only anchor while he had been in the wheelchair. To Buffy, it was understandable. Hell, if someone had moved in on her man she…That's when it hit her.
Buffy groaned audibly at the realization of it all. Spike knew Garrett was there and he was none too happy about that. To be honest, neither was she. Buffy had told Garrett ever since their tentative--hiatus--to call before he stopped by. She was kinda peeved by it, though curious at the same time since Garrett had respected every one of her wishes.
Not that he should, she thought sullenly. Not the way I've been acting the past two months. But as interested as she was in his unexpected arrival, Buffy first had to diffuse the ticking time bomb--no, nuclear holocaust--begging for release from the core of her ex-lover.
"Spike," she called again, punctuating it by firmly gripping Spike's forearm. Finally hearing the distant voice become nearer, Spike slowly opened his eyes and stared blankly into the eyes of the slayer. "You with me?" She asked and, despite his mood, he debated whether or not to answer that with a 'do you want me to be?' but wisely thought against it, noticing the hard line of her lips. No, it wouldn't do good to push her over the edge of exasperation she was already teetering on. Two years ago, he wouldn't have hesitated in calling her out, raising her ire to levels only he knew about until they would ultimately be locked in fisticuffs. But that was then; if his soul presented him with one thing, that was tact.
"Spike," she squeezed his arm, hard.
"Bloody hell, woman," he bellowed and yanked his arm away. "You'd do good to remember I have a pulse now, ergo, circulation."
"I know that," she returned sharply, "but considering that said blood has filtered up to that cranium of yours, I didn't think you'd miss the lack of blood flow."
Tact, Spike reminded himself as his jaw popped as he ground his teeth together. "What the bloody hell are you talkin' about?" He forced through clinched teeth and silently applauded himself for the calm that floated around his words.
Buffy's head flew back in annoyance and she let out a decidedly unfeminine growl. Spike couldn't help but be entranced by the soft curve of her neck and how slight bead of sweat trickled down the side of it. He craned his head to get a better view, his eyes roaming across the luscious planes of her body. The way her shirt clung to her pert breasts or how her Capri's highlighted her hips. He felt the call of desire creep into his lower abdomen and he began having difficulty swallowing.
Shaking her head, Buffy's gaze returned to Spike. A very enthralled Spike, by the looks of it. Buffy furrowed her eyebrows before her eyes locked with his and she realized what he was doing.
He's checking me out! Right in front of me, and he's not trying to play it off. Her thoughts meshed in torrents as she was torn about the discovery. Her first reaction--embarrassment--was obviously clear as her cheeks flamed red though her other feelings weren't quite as visible. She knew she should be pissed at Spike's blatant leering, and she was, but the other half of her was quite turned on by the Brit's out and out ogling. Of course, that last part wasn't quite appropriate since they were right down the street from her house and her…and Garrett.
Buffy's increasing arousal was stalled by the reaffirmation of her current position. Taking a deep breath, the slayer steeled her resolve and fixed Spike with a no-nonsense glare.
"Look Spike, as much as I'm enjoying your visual undressing of me," she motioned towards the house, " there is somewhere we should be."
Spike's head shot up at Buffy's words. He bit down on his lower lip sheepishly, though his eyes held a hint of defiance. He thought about replying with one of his trademark barbs but the slight panic in her eyes caused him to hold his tongue. His rigid posture slackened at her silent pleading and he nodded in the direction of the Summers home.
"After you, luv," he said, readjusting his grip on the bags while he waited for her to lead the way.
"Right, okay," Buffy forced out, not quite expecting Spike's placating tone. He just doesn't stop with the surprises, does he? Buffy shook her head and stalked slowly back to the house where things were definitely about to get interesting.
Spike followed a step behind the slayer and he couldn't help but smile wistfully. He doubted Buffy had even noticed, but the corners of her mouth had turned upwards at his last comment and though he had no idea what it meant, he couldn't get the thought out of his head that she really wanted him.
Well, mate--looks like you get to meet the guy who won her heart. Subconsciously, though his words and thoughts earlier said quite the opposite, the former vampire was determined to win Buffy back no matter who awaited them inside.
***
Garrett sat in the middle of the Summers living room couch, rubbing his damp palms against the outside of his dress slacks. Though the top two buttons were undone and his tie loosened considerably, the tightness around his throat would not go away.
What do I have to be nervous about? He asked himself, though the answer to that had already formulated in his mind. This was the first time in over a week that he had been here and only the fourth time this month. Not to mention the fact that Buffy had absolutely no idea that he was here.
Garrett tapped his foot nervously and glanced at his watch. "Shit," he muttered noticing the time. He had already been here twenty minutes and that was fifteen minutes longer than expected. He stood impatiently, the only sound in the room was his ragged breaths and the slight pop of his right knee. His shoes clicked against the hardwood floor and he ran a shaky hand over his close-cropped hair.
"Dawn," he called and noted the unsteadiness of his voice. He called her again, his voice battling his own uneasiness and the louder than loud ministrations of an eighteen year old's stereo system spitting out the snazzy beats of the current N'Sync.
"Yeah," came the response over the lowered volume of the music.
"I thought you said this was only gonna take five minutes."
"Five more minutes," she informed the nervous man at the bottom of the steps as she poked her head around the corner of the hallway.
"Dawn…"
"Look, Gare," she interrupted. "Why are you so nervous? It's not like you guys are in the 'awkward ex' phase of your relationship or anything. I mean, you guys are still engaged, right?"
"In theory," he muttered to himself before re-addressing Dawn, "it doesn't matter. You know I don't like being here when she doesn't invite me. I think it's better if we high-tail it outta here before she gets back," especially if…
"It's because of Spike, right?" the teen asked and now stood directly at the top of the steps. She shook her head derisively when Garrett lowered his eyes. "Don't worry about him, Garrett. His ass will be gone before you know it. I mean, once she tells him about you, there's no reason for him to stick around." Though he didn't reply, Garrett heard the hurt and bitterness in Dawn's voice as she spat out her last words.
"If it's all the same to you," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'd like to be out before she gets back. Better yet, I'm gonna go wait outside, maybe have a smoke."
Dawn smiled wryly, her hands resting on her hips. "Garrett, you don't smoke." He chuckled lightly at her statement before looking back up at her.
"Yeah, well--maybe I just started."
The former key snorted before turning on her heels, heading back to her room. Before she walked away, the upcoming graduate tossed over her shoulder, "I wouldn't be surprised, with you dealing with Buffy all the time."
Garrett shook his head in laughter and turned to walk out the door. He turned the handle before whispering his assent to her last words, "Don't I know it," before opening the door.
Of course, he thought sarcastically as his eyes locked on the two people in front of him before the hammering of his heart drowned out all possibilities of coherent thought.
"Hey Buffy," he said weakly, averting her emerald gaze.
"Hey Garrett," she returned and smiled tightly, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.
"Sorry for coming without calling," he apologized, stealing a glance at the rigid figure staring him down behind Buffy, "but Dawn stopped by the bank when I was getting off and asked me for a ride. I'm taking her over to Monique's house but we're going to pick up Janice first. I was about to sit outside and wait for her," he babbled, all the while rubbing his palms together.
"It's okay," she assured. Buffy stood there, between two men she cared deeply about, unsure of what to do next. Fortunately the light haired man behind her made that decision.
"Uh, as much as I am touched by the awkwardness of this hallmark moment, luv, it'd be a tad nicer inside the comfortable confines of casa de Summers."
Buffy clicked her tongue and turned towards Spike, flashing him a very unhappy look and the he mentally cursed himself for the open hostility he knew she had picked up in his voice.
"Oh," Garrett said and moved aside, "wasn't really thinking." Buffy smiled as she walked past and into the living room. Spike grunted his acknowledgment of Garrett when the other man muttered, "besides, I was waiting for Mr. Sunshine here to snap a picture…" He smiled tightly before closing the door and brushing past Spike.
Spike only smirked at the retreating man, thinking to himself that he just might like this guy after all.
"Course he's gotta die," he whispered to himself, "no doubt about that." Shrugging his shoulders, the once immortal sauntered into the living room, forcing himself to relax. If anything, he refused to let his jealousy show. This isn't Angelus, mate. Just some low-level blighter who just so happens to be the fiancé of the love of my life. I can handle it.
I hope.
***
I lay my bags beside Buffy's next to the table and take a seat in the recliner. I would have sat on the couch with Buffy but someone beat me to it already. It brasses me off a bit but the ample space between them as they are sitting on the far ends of the couch calms my ire.
I slouch in the chair, further than usual, forcing the confidence and swagger of one hundred years to practically bleed through my veins. We all sit quietly, eyes drifting around the room, waiting for someone to break the silence. I feature a glance towards Buffy and notice that she's wringing her hands together and biting her lip. Yeah, she's about as nervous as a sheep in a room full of wolves. Course, there's no bloody wolves around here--unless you count me. Yeah, I know; I gotta soul, so I should be all-nice and accommodating, right? S'not how it works, mate. I may have gotten my old soul back, but a century of knowledge (and heartbreak) has a way of toughening up the newest occupant.
I take the lull to size up my rival. 'S a handsome bloke, I'll give him that. Can tell he works out, though he's not overly big. Can tell by his bronze skin that he's carryin' more than one ethnic heritage in his blood, just not sure what that is. He's nervous too, constantly running his hand through his dark hair. Kinda hard to do, considering that said hair isn't quite 'of the long'. But to each his own.
I sigh purposefully loud and two sets of eyes, one hazel and one grayish, flicker towards me before they drop to the floor again.
"Pardon me for interrupting this oh so engaging conversation," I say, "but are we gonna go with the formal introductions any time soon?" Buffy cuts me with one of her patented 'God, Spike--asshole much?' stares and I smile condescendingly at her. Just because we've both changed in earnest doesn't mean that we can't indulge ourselves from time to time.
She turns herself to Garrett, her face marred with--well, truly can't discern the look on her face, but it's there no less. She steals another glance my way before doing the introductions. "Garrett, this is Sp--William. William, this is…Garrett." I see the git's face nosedive a bit at the reserved introduction. Must be trouble in paradise. I really wish I could feel bad about that but…well, hell, I'm so in love with her it kills me. No way in hell I'm gonna feel bad about any chance I get of wooing her…God, no. Tell me I just didn't say 'woo'. Bloody Peaches, ingrained his poof-dom so far in my cerebellum, don't think I'll ever be the man I used to be.
'Course, really can't say that I mind that last tidbit.
"William," the ponce nods curtly my way and I solicit him with a mock salute.
"Garrett. Wish I could say it's…" nice to meet you I was gonna say but I reckon that intense pressure in my chest where Buffy's eyes are boring into me shuts my gob. "It's nice to meet you," I plaster the most insincere smile possible on my face and meet his equally fake grin.
"Nice to meet you too, Spike," he says and apologizes. Git did it on purpose. I know it, he knows it and, from the evil look she's shooting both of us, Buffy knows it. She's right pissed, it's just radiating off of her--God, she looks beautiful when she's mad--and we both take that as a sign to close our bloody mouths.
"Dawn upstairs?" She asks and stands. I catch Garrett's eyes flash to the slayer's arse before he looks up to her. Thought I didn't catch that, huh? You'll soon learn, boy, I catch everything.
"Yeah," he chuckles and I see him relax visibly at the question obviously not directed at his reasons for being here. "Said she was gonna be only five minutes."
"Let me guess--it's been, what?--at least fifteen," I offer and fondly. "Just like the Bit. Always kept me waiting last summer when you were--" I close my eyes, still unable to get past the pain of seeing her broken body. I can feel her looking at me, empathy seeping from her and even the git knows something happened.
"When I was overseas," she offers and grants me a warm smile. Guess she hadn't told him everything after all. Yet another tidbit of info to check out.
"Well, I'm gonna check and see what's taking her so long." I watch her hips sway as she exits the room. I turn my head towards the git before her voice wafts back into the room.
"And guys? Don't make me have to kill both of you." With that, she's gone and only the light patter of her feet echoes down the steps.
So here we are, two guys in love with the same woman, sitting across from each other with no parental supervision. This is gonna be interesting.
"So," he asks casually, "how's the human thing treating you?" I smile wickedly at him and he returns my gaze without hesitation.
Yeah, this is gonna be very bloody interesting.
***
"Dawn?" Buffy called, knocking on her sister's door. She waited patiently until she heard the distinct increase in volume and then opened the door. The lithe figure of her sister was spread out on the bed, her feet tapping noiselessly to the upbeat rhythm blaring from her speakers. Her overnight bag was packed at the foot of her bed, all set to go. When she saw that she had a visitor, Dawn jumped up, and turned off her stereo.
"It's called knocking," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, tried that. But your immersion into the finer genres of modern music obviously had you preoccupied." Buffy leaned against the doorjamb while Dawn hastily put on her shoes.
"Okay," the teen asked, absently running a comb through her hair. "Now you've got my attention, care to tell me why you're up here?" Buffy winced slightly at her younger sister's callous tone. It had been so long since she had faced Dawn's cool indifference that Buffy wasn't quite prepared for it.
"Uh, well…Garrett's waiting for you." She cursed herself at the lack of strength in her voice but ignored the urge to add a biting comment to make her sound more confident.
"I know," Dawn said before turning cold eyes towards Buffy, "is he down there." On Buffy's guilty look, Dawn snorted loudly. "Oh, of course he is. I mean, why wouldn't he be, what with the nice, little leash around his neck that happens to be attached to your waist."
"Dawn," Buffy warned but the brunette continued her rant.
"I wonder if he even has a will of his own. First he let Dru yank his chain for- what? - a hundred years and then you. I mean, a vampire in love with a slayer…"
"He's not a vampire anymore, Dawn," Buffy saw her sister's eyes falter, the steel glint of resentment gone for the moment.
"Buffy? How?"
"Long story that's his to tell."
The disdain was back in Dawn's eyes and she folded her arms protectively across her chest. "Doesn't matter. Just because the outside's changed doesn't mean that he still doesn't have that same bitter taste on the inside."
"Dawn," Buffy's tone was deep and warning as she strode purposefully over to her defiant sister. "What is wrong with you?" She placed her hands on her hips, her eyes locked in a stare down with the youngest Summers. Buffy waited several seconds until Dawn, giving up, rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. The slayer quickly grabbed her sister's arm in a firm grip.
"Hey," Dawn protested, trying to dislodge her arm from Buffy's tenuous grip to no avail. "Let go."
"Not until you answer my question. What is going on with you? Why are you being like this?"
"Being like what?" The former key questioned, though she dropped her eyes.
"Like this," the slayer responded, waving her hand between them. "So cold and unfeeling. This isn't you, Dawn," Buffy's tone softened a bit, "Talk to me, sweetie. You know you can."
Buffy saw the indecision in her sister's eyes and gently ushered her to sit on the bed. The tension boiled off of Dawn's skin and her eyes swam angrily with unwanted moisture. Buffy said nothing, only offering her support with an easy smile and stroking Dawn's hair lightly. She already knew what the problem was but, if Dawn was remotely like she had been, Buffy knew that her sister was going to have to make the conclusions on her own.
"Why is he here?" Dawn's soft voice broke the strained silence.
"Who? Spike?" Buffy knew that's who she was talking about, but wanted Dawn to say it herself.
"Yeah, Spike. Why is he here?"
"Because, I went to get him. I told you that a few weeks ago that I might…"
"That you might, Buffy. God, I didn't think you were serious. How could you? How could you bring him back and not tell me? Hell, how could you even stand the sight of him?" Dawn's hands clenched and unclenched in her lap instinctively and the muscles in her jaw pulsed like a heartbeat.
"It's complicated, Dawnie," On the teen's disbelieving snort, Buffy continued, "I'm not even sure if I know why. I mean, yeah, I do know that I needed to see him; that I couldn't leave things how they were. I know I needed to forgive him and the only way to do that was to confront him about it."
"But why, Buffy? Why forgive him? How could you? After what he did." The disbelief and genuine concern in her voice almost masked the disdain she still carried for Spike. Almost.
"Dawn, something that you don't understand--and I still am coming to terms with--is that Spike wasn't the bad guy in what happened. Yeah, he did an unthinkable and horrible thing, but not unforgivable."
"But how could you say that? He tried to rape you, Buffy. How could you possibly forgive that?"
Buffy closed her eyes at that, unsure how to answer. Oh, she knew the words she should say but knowing and saying were two entirely different things. She had told Dawn some of the horrible things she had said to Spike but none of the things she had done. She didn't want her baby sister to look at her any weirder than Dawn already did but, at the same, Buffy didn't want this obvious coldness that Dawn had against Spike to continue. Give it up, Buffy. You owe him that much, the slayer told herself.
"Because," she replied and stared Dawn right in the eye, "he forgave me for the things I did to him."
Dawn's eyes softened but she was not entirely convinced. "I know you said you did bad things to him--and that you were holding back on the details--but it wasn't as bad as what he tried to do to you."
"You're right, Dawnie. It wasn't as bad. It was worse."
***
Garrett checked his watch for the third time and noted that it had been only five minutes since Buffy had gone upstairs. He was hoping that Dawn would be back soon because, as much as he hated to admit it, the former vampire across from him unnerved him. It wasn't because the guy was a vampire, or former. Hell, he had been fighting the undead with Buffy and co. for almost a year--he had seen things much worse than vampires. But Spike was different. There was something about him, something primal and vicious, yet there was also an intelligence and cunning in his eyes that would have been disconcerting to the bank manager even if the title 'former vampire' did not apply.
Spike, on the other hand, was enjoying Garrett's discomfort, though the man was doing an admirable job hiding it. Actually, as much as his ego craved it, Spike knew that he wasn't the only reason Garrett was jumpy. There was something between him and Buffy that she had neglected to tell Spike, and the Brit had an idea, albeit blatantly optimistic, of what the deal was.
"So, how are you and Buffy doing?" Spike asked casually. He noticed Garrett's ever so slight flinch at the mention of Buffy's name though the man forcefully relaxed his posture.
"Fine," he replied, lifting his chin slightly though Spike caught the briefest hesitation in his response.
"Fine? Is that it? Woman wears a moon rock like that and things are only fine? Will wonders never cease--I'm actually wishing Captain Cardboard would make an appearance," Spike instantly felt bad as he saw the naked look of pain that crossed the man's face before he covered it. Bloody soul, he thought derisively though a part of him knew that the soul wasn't the only reason he felt empathy towards the man. It was the look, the same look he often felt after a particularly brutal dress-down by the slayer. If the man felt half as bad as Spike had, well--no, Spike wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on anyone. Not even Peaches.
"So, Garrett," he said, changing the subject, "what do you do?"
The relief on the man's face was obvious and Spike congratulated himself for again considering someone else's feelings. Course, this will not be habit forming. It bloody well better not be.
***
Dawn listened in horror as Buffy explained her less than ideal relationship with Spike two years ago. When Buffy had told Dawn that her actions had been worse than Spike's deeds in the bathroom, Dawn had been understandably skeptical. Now, as Buffy wrapped up her tale, Dawn could do nothing but gape in astonishment, unsure of what to do or say.
"So you see?" Buffy asked amidst the tears and patted Dawn's limp hands that rested in her lap. "That's why it wasn't too hard forgiving him. Because, as guilty as he was that night, it was my fault things got so out of hand in the first place." Buffy had told her almost everything except the most intimate details and, even now, she was debating whether or not to tell her.
"But what he did…" Dawn replied but trailed off, her own tears making it difficult to continue. Might as well tell her the rest, Buffy decided.
"I already told you, sweetie. There was no excuse for what he did that night. He was responsible for his own actions," even as she said it, Buffy winced. Holding Spike responsible for his own actions brought up painful memories of her first love and the things he had done when he had lost his soul. Can't think about that right now.
"Dawnie, you know more than anybody what Spike can be like when he's not trying to hide behind his Big Bad persona. He can be so thoughtful and attentive."
"Yeah," the younger Summers said, her voice distant from memories of a summer where hit had been her and Spike versus the world. Despite the circumstances, it had been the best summer she had ever had. He had really helped her begin to see what she was made of, the burgeoning young woman that was bound to appear. And now that young woman didn't know how to feel about the person who had hurt her more than anyone in her life without even lifting a finger or spewing a harsh word at her.
But he had done something much worse than hard words or physical actions—he had betrayed her trust, utterly and completely.
Doing what he did to Buffy was unthinkable. Not only did he do that, but he wasn't man enough to face her or Buffy afterwards. Dawn had always thought Spike was special, different, and all he had done was prove that he was just like all the others.
"Dawn," Buffy's voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned toward her older sister. "I know that because…because he tried to be that way with me. You already know how I felt when I first came back, I've told you. It was too much, everybody wanting to be better when I didn't think I could, telling me to perk up. But Spike—he let me be. I didn't have to be cheerful or strong in front of him. He was the shoulder to lean on and the voice of reason as well. Sometimes he said things that I didn't want to hear, but I listened nonetheless. And when we finally got…together, he tried to be the same attentive and caring guy but whereas I accepted that during our nightly talks, I wouldn't—couldn't—accept it during our more intimate moments. When he was soft, I was hard. When he tried to be tender, I forced the roughness. Everything he did, I turned it around on him. All I wanted was to feel…and, to me, 'feel' only meant the physical but to him it meant so much more. I used his feelings and emotions against him for my own selfishness and that was just as bad, if not worse, than what he tried to do to me in the bathroom."
They sat in silence for several minutes, Dawn's eyes showing her conflicting emotions. Her reaction had been enough to tip Buffy that her words had had an effect on Dawn and that Dawn was no longer angry at Spike for his actions in the bathroom. Still, Buffy knew that Dawn was still hurt and angry at the one action that he was indeed successful at.
Leaving.
Buffy waited until Dawn was balanced enough to tell the teen what Buffy had told Spike earlier. She wanted to wait, but thought better of it, considering Summers' women's' propensity for their anger to multiply when issues weren't ironed out sooner than later.
"Dawn," she began, her voice steady, "as much as I know he hurt you by what he tried to do to me, this isn't all about that, is it?"
"What do you mean?" Dawn answered a little to quickly and Buffy noted the defensive tone.
"Don't get me wrong, I know that made you mad, especially not hearing it from me." That much was true as well, considering Dawn still hadn't forgiven Xander for telling her and even now she wasn't too warm towards him Of course, it was just another thing for Xander to hold against Spike.
"What I mean is, that as much as that hurt you, something else hurt worse. Something you never would have thought he would do."
"I think almost raping my sister classifies under the heading of 'something I thought he would never do'." Buffy smiled, which made Dawn frown though the latter held her tongue.
"I know that. Believe me, I know. But there is something else that has nothing to do with me, isn't it?"
"Like what?" she scoffed.
"Like the fact that he did what Dad did. And me. Like the fact he did what Mom did," Buffy's throat constricted at the mention of their mother but she continued, sensing Dawn's mounting fear of the truth being discovered.
"You're wrong," she spat and motioned to get up but Buffy's grabbed her wrist.
"He was the only person that has always been there for you…"
"No! You're wrong," she yelled and struggled against her sister's iron grip to no avail.
"The only person that never lied to you or treated you…"
"Stop! You don't know what you're talking about," she cried but Buffy continued.
"The only person that didn't treat you like a kid but still…"
"Stop it! Just stop it!"
"But still loved you like one…"
"Buffy…" Dawn's struggling was getting weaker and Buffy felt her shaking with emotion.
"He was everything that we couldn't be…and he left." That was it. Once Buffy spoke those three words, Dawn collapsed to the floor in a heap of tears and sobs. Buffy, though tears were in her eyes, pulled Dawn's head to her lap and let her cry, all the while stroking her little sister's hair.
She smiled sadly at the scene, one that reminded her of the last time she had seen her sister cry a year and a half ago. Though they had been so close even then, that had marked the beginning of Dawn's closure of hurtful emotions. She just hoped that now the opposite was true. All she wanted was for Dawn to be able to love and feel like she was now able to do. If her progress were any indication, it would take time. She just hoped, for Dawn's sake, that her progression went more smoothly than her own. And considering Dawn had realized that she had loved Spike while it had taken Buffy a handful of years, the slayer was confident that things were well on their way to being normal again.
Well, as normal as could be with a slayer, a key and a former vampire.
***Kinda hit a roadblock, that's why this one took longer. The next part will be a continuation of this, and, since I know what's going to happen, it won't take as long to write.
***Hopefully, I will be able to post the next chapter of Family Ties II by Wednesday. It will be a short chapter (as far as my fics go) so I'm sure I won't have problems making that particular deadline. Well, let me know what you think.