"Gunther!" Monica said, trying to get up. "Gunther, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
Gunther stormed out of the house, annoyed. "Sorry, Monica. I-I have to go."
Monica sighed. "No, no, you can't, I didn't mean—" She was answered by the slamming of a door. She had successfully wrecked the first time she had actually felt something like an attraction to a guy in seven years.
She sat down and sobbed.
* * *
An hour later, Phoebe opened the door, and let herself in. "Mon? Gunther?"
Kendra followed her. "Hey, Mom!"
Alice and Ben followed more sedately.
Monica emerged from the kitchen, trying not to look as though she'd spent the last hour sobbing. "Hi guys."
Phoebe looked at her shrewdly. "Monica Geller, you've been crying."
"No I haven't!" Monica said, annoyed.
"We should go," Ben hissed, and Alice nodded. The three kids ran, rolled, and walked out of the hallway.
"Mon?" Phoebe asked, again.
"I'm fine, ok?" Monica snipped.
Phoebe sighed. "Look, Monica, I'm physic, and besides, I'm your best friend. I know when something's wrong."
"Not this time."
"Yes I do!" Phoebe insisted. "There's something wrong, and I'm not leaving until I find out what it is!"
"Ok…" Monica took a deep breath. "I slept with Gunther."
Phoebe gasped. "Oh my god! Does Rachel know? And Chandler?"
"No, Phoebe!" Monica sighed. "It just happened, ok?"
Phoebe paused for a moment, taking all of this in. "Just now? Today? Is he still here?"
Monica shook her head. "He – left."
"Why? And why did you do it – him, I mean?" she added, smirking.
"Phoebe!" Monica was annoyed. And her eyes were filling with tears again.
"Ok, ok, sorry," Phoebe apologised. She didn't look sorry, Monica thought. "So, spill."
"You sound like Rachel," Monica rebuked her. Phoebe gave her a long stare. A stare that said, 'You're not getting out of it that easily'. "Ok, fine. It just happened. Just, just one of those things, I guess."
Phoebe wasn't convinced. "Monica, I need more details than that. Who started it? How many times? Where did you do it? When did he leave? Are you going to—?"
"Whoa, Phoebe, too much!" Monica gave a weak laugh. "Ok, so I started it. But he didn't exactly stop me."
Phoebe didn't quite seem sure of how to handle this. This was a totally new side of Monica. "Are you going to – carry on?"
Monica paused. "No-o."
"Why not?" Phoebe exclaimed.
"I – I don't wanna tell."
"But I wanna listen," Phoebe countered. "C'mon, Monica, I'm your oldest friend – well, except for Rachel."
Monica shook her head stubbornly. "We just aren't." She smiled. "I guess Gunther doesn't want to, anyway."
"Why did you do it?" Phoebe asked. "And don't just say that it was 'one of those things'. That's crap. There's no such thing – well, except for your little one-night stand fourteen years ago."
"Ok. I was in a bad place," Monica conceded.
"'Cause…?"
"No reason," Monica replied.
"Oh, ok," Phoebe said, sounding totally unconvinced. She paused, thinking. "So, where'd Chandler go?"
"Oh, he, uh, had a date," Monica answered, trying to sound cool, calm, and collected. Breezy. That's it – she wanted to sound "breezy".
"Ooh," Phoebe said, interested. "Who with?"
"Whom," Monica corrected, automatically. Phoebe glared at her. "Sorry, too much Ross."
"So, with whom?" Phoebe mocked.
"A girl from his work," Monica breezed. "Lane something or other. Ridiculous name."
"Who's picking Shawn up?"
"Me, in like an hour."
Phoebe was about to leave when she thought of something. Two things. "Mon, I told the kids that they had to apologise to you – about the candles and all that crap."
"Ok," Monica agreed. "I was gonna go make them sorry anyway," she added, grinning.
"Yeah, no, and it's, uh, my date with Joey tonight. I'm gonna be out late. Maybe all night," she smirked.
"Really?" Monica smiled. "Ok, you go and preen for your date. I'll go and get an apology out of those three."
* * *
"She's coming!" hissed Kendra. The children were in Alice's room, preparing for when they would have to apologise to Monica.
"Damn," Ben moaned. "Do we have to do this?"
"She's gonna be really mad," Alice warned them both.
"You think I don't know that?!" Kendra demanded. "She's my mother!"
"Right, yeah, I forgot," Alice replied.
"Kids?" Monica entered the room. She didn't look too happy – but she didn't look furious either. She looked sad – disappointed. It's the worst thing for a kid, when they have to apologise to a disappointed parent.
"We're sorry, Mom," Kendra said, hurriedly.
"Yeah, sorry, auntie Monica," Ben agreed.
"Really," Alice complimented them.
"Are you?" Monica said, absently. "Ok. I guess I never said it was against any rules or anything."
"Thanks Mom!" Kendra said, stretching up to try and hug her. "You'll hafta come down here, I think."
Monica laughed, and hugged her daughter, very conscious that just a little while ago, she had been mentally thanking the children for the "set up".
"So you're not mad?" Alice checked.
Monica laughed. "It gave me a chance to think." Then, on seeing their interested faces, she shook her head. "I'm not telling you what about. It gave me a chance to think, and I think it did for Gunther as well."
She smiled at the looks on their faces – they looked confused. She left, and the children were left to talk.
Ben was the first to speak. "Well, that went ok."
"Yeah…" Kendra agreed.
Alice debated whether to speak or not. She decided to. "I think something – well, happened."
"Happened?" Ben repeated.
Kendra nodded. "Between Mom and Gunther? You saw it too, Alice?"
"Uh huh. I'm not sure what exactly – she looked, well, a bit sad, but different," Alice commented.
"I thought she looked a bit confused," Kendra corrected her. "Not like when she was in love with Richard. I don't think anything good happened, Ally."
"Maybe she asked Gunther out and he said no?" Ben suggested.
"I can't believe we never thought of all the problems!" Alice wailed.
"Me either," Kendra sighed. "Ugh. We've probably made Mom feel worse than she ever did in her life right about now."
Alice shook her head. "Kendra, we did what we did, right? But we didn't force Monica to ask Gunther out. Or to do whatever. She did that. We just set up a meal for them."
"But still…" Kendra rolled out of the room.
"Kendra!" Alice raced after her. "Kendra, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to say I'm sorry," Kendra replied.
"We already did," Ben put in, coming to a stop just behind them. "Kendy, don't let on to Monica that you know. Just, just be normal. She's going to forgive you, you're her daughter."
"I guess." But Kendra wasn't convinced.
"Drop it for now," Alice said, firmly.
"Ok."
"Hey!" Monica appeared in the doorway. "I almost forgot. Ally, your dad's on a date. I'm gonna pick Shawn up, anyone wanna come?"
"Date?" Alice whispered.
"Yeah," Monica said, matter-of-factly, and then realised. "Shit! Sorry, Ally, I didn't mean—"
"No." Alice ran off to her room, and slammed the door.
"Alice!" Monica called. "Ally, you ok in there?"
"He's not on a date, you're lying!" Alice shouted. "You've got to be! He only loved Mum, he told me!"
"Alice…" Monica trailed off. "I'm sorry, Ally. I forgot—"
"Mom – go get Shawn," Kendra instructed her. "We'll talk to Ally."
"I don't see how that's gonna work," Monica mused. "I mean, you guys both have both your parents."
Ben shot her a look. "What?"
"Damnit," Monica sighed. "I'm off. Talk to Phoebe." She left, hurriedly.
"Ally?" Kendra called, quickly. Trying to make Ben forget what Monica had just said. Both your parents. Why had she said that?
"Kendra…" Ben began.
"Uh huh?" Kendra replied. "What?" She was freaked.
"I, uh, what did Monica mean about both – both parents?" He paused. "Unless you, do you know—"
Kendra looked around, trying to find some way to get out of it. "Oh, uh, just, y'know, the usual."
"The usual what?" Ben persisted. "C'mon Kendra, we're friends! Tell me!"
"Ally!" Kendra called, feebly. "Ally, mom's gone. She's sorry she said what she did, ok?"
"I'm not coming out 'til Dad gets back!" Alice replied. She sounded like she'd been crying.
"Kendra." Ben wouldn't budge.
"Ally, just let us in," Kendra asked. "C'mon, please?"
"No, I – I need to be alone," Alice said. "Look, guys, I just need some time by myself. I've got some thinking to do."
"Ok…" Kendra replied, reluctantly, as Phoebe appeared.
"What's going on, kids?" she asked.
"Uh…" Ben motioned for Phoebe to move away from Alice's door. "Auntie Mon told Alice that Chandler's got a date. She went all freaked on us."
"Ohh…" Phoebe sighed. "Oh, that poor girl." She made for the door. "Alice. Alice, I know what you're going through. My mom died when I was a kid."
Alice's door opened a crack. "Really?"
"Yeah, no, I was really sad, Ally. But you've gotta move on, ok?" Phoebe took a deep breath. "I moved to Prague."
"Prague?" Alice repeated.
"Then I went back to Manhattan," Phoebe added. "But, Alice, you've gotta let Chandler move on. It's been a while since it, y'know, happened, hasn't it?"
"Nearly two years," Alice agreed. "But, oh, it's so hard!"
"I know, I know," Phoebe said, hugging her. "But it's gotta happen some day. You can't expect your dad to stay single all his life, can you?"
"No-o…"
"Alice, maybe you're not comfortable with it just yet, but, oh, sweetie, when your dad gets back, he might not be either," Phoebe explained. "It's the first time he's been on a date since he met your mom. You can't expect him to suddenly fall in love."
"But, Ph—"
Phoebe silenced her. "Alice, if you like me, or Monica, or Rachel, does that make you disloyal to your mom?"
"No," Alice laughed. "That's stupid."
"So why is it different if Chandler likes other women?"
"'Cause—well, a'cause… I don't know."
Phoebe hugged her. "I'm sorry."
* * *
Meanwhile, Ben and Kendra were talking in Kendra's room.
"Ken, there's something happening, isn't there?" Ben asked. "Is it Joey? Is he your dad?"
"No!" Kendra laughed. "He is so not."
"Gunther? Chandler? Uncle Richard?"
"I can't tell… mom made me promise not to."
"It's me, it doesn't count," Ben wheedled. "I won't tell a soul."
"Not even Ross? 'Cause he knows him, and he'd go mad," Kendra checked.
"Promise, Kendra." Ben sighed, impatiently. "Just Tell me! Tell-tell-tell!"
"Ok." Kendra took a deep breath. "It's Chandler."
Ben's eyes opened wide in shock. "Chandler Bing?"
Kendra gave a weak laugh. "Ok, so just how many Chandlers do you know?"
Ben shook his head. "Chandler – like, Alice's dad? Dad's college roomie? Mary's husband?"
"He wasn't married to Mary then," Kendra pointed out. "And he didn't even know about Alice."
"How long – how long have you known?"
Kendra thought about it. "Uh… ever since Ross told Mom that 'Chandler' was coming to stay. She guessed, and Phoebe knew before, and then they told me."
"Were they – together?" Ben asked. "Chandler and Monica, I mean."
Kendra laughed. "No. Well, mom says it was just one night. So, I believe her."
"I guess. Besides, I don't really picture them together," Ben laughed. "Chandler Bing – Kendra Bing?"
"Kendra Cecilia Bing…" Kendra mused. "Hmm. Nah, I prefer Geller."
"Are you ever going to tell anyone?"
Kendra shook her head emphatically. "No! 'Cause Chandler was dating Mary at the time. I mean, my God, Alice would be furious with him – and mom."
"So, what, it's just a secret?"
"Bravo!" Kendra quipped. "Yeah. My secret dad." She paused, thinking. "Wow. I'll never be able to tell anyone about it, will I? He won't be able to give me away at my wedding, I'll never be able to call him 'Dad'…"
"Talk to him," Ben suggested. "He is your dad. And – Kendy, does he know about you?"
"Yeah, but… He never even knew about me until a few months ago. There's nothing about me that's even remotely like him!" Kendra shook her head. "What am I meant to say to him?"
Ben considered. "You know, you don't look unlike him." He was right. The eyes – although were they Chandler's blue eyes, or Monica's? The hair – no, that was definitely Monica. The general face features had something of Chandler in them… "Your face. Alice and Shawn have his hair and everything, but you've got his nose and stuff."
"What?" Kendra raced to a mirror, and stared at her face. "I don't!" she said, indignantly at first. "I look like Mom."
"Sure, Monica's hair, and maybe her eyes, but look at your Face."
"My face…" Kendra paused. "It's just me, Ben."
"It's you, alright," Ben agreed. "What's it like, having Chandler as a dad?"
"I'm not sure." Kendra sighed. "Can we change the subject?"
"Yeah, sure," Ben agreed, easily. "As long as we can get back to it later."
* * *
Late that night, long after collecting Shawn, Monica sat in the kitchen. Everyone was asleep – apart from Chandler, who hadn't arrived home yet. Even Phoebe was back, which wasn't surprising, as it was two in the morning.
Monica just needed to be alone. When she was certain that it was quiet, and she wouldn't disturb anyone, not even Ally or Kendra, sleeping on the ground floor, she lay her head on the table and sobbed.
She lost track of all time, as she sat there crying. It could have been hours, or maybe even just a few minutes.
"Mon?" a quiet voice asked. She looked up. Chandler. Great, of all people who could have seen her crying, it had to be Chandler. What, was fate just taking the piss?
"Monica, what's wrong?" he asked, gently.
She sat up, and dried her eyes. "N-nothing," she hiccuped. "I'm fine, just great."
"Like hell you are," Chandler retorted. "Tell me."
So, haltingly, she told him the story of Gunther and she. When she had finished, he looked at her.
"Oh, Mon," he said, hugging her. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why – why did he leave?"
Monica stared at him for a full two minutes, debating whether to tell him.
"There was a reason," she faltered. "It's – embarrassing."
"You don't have to tell me," he assured her.
"I really should," she replied. "I did something – I think I really hurt him…"
"Did you kill him?" Chandler asked.
She gave a hiccup-y laugh. "No." She took a deep breath. "Right in the middle – I called him Chandler."