With Arms Wide Open

Song: With Arms Wide Open By: Creed

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was standing off in a corner. His face blended in quite perfectly with the egg white paint that covered the walls. The room was filled with clanking noises, and a calm voice saying, "One, two, three, push." at random intervals. He knew he should be the one telling her to push, and holding her hand, but he felt as though he would fall through the floor if he moved even an inch. Maybe if he closed his eyes he wouldn't feel so faint, but they were glued open. He could do nothing that would allow his mind to let his eyes shut. They stared intently at the magnificent being that was pushing. The woman who was giving birth to his first child. The woman he planned on spending the rest of his life with. The woman whom he loved with all his heart, mind, and body.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He almost crashed out of his trance when someone announced the sex of the infant. His beloved sighed in tired relief, and went limp on the table. Too limp. There was yelling of doctors, and they swarmed around her again. Only now did he actually move toward her, almost crying out. He couldn't make his voice project, all he said was in a whisper. Now his ears wouldn't co-operate. All his senses worked with the accuracy they would have with him being underwater. He was slowly making his way to her side, so slowly. He never makes it there. The doctors tell him to leave the room. He just as slowly finds a blindingly orange plastic chair outside the room. He doesn't remember anything after that. He finally does sink through the floor, or too it rather.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Waking up in a room without her was hard. He couldn't remember anything that had happened since the baby was announced a girl. He knew he had to find her though. Both of them. He had a bad feeling, a feeling that was tugging at his soul, dragging him towards the door, making him turn the knob to reveal his worst nightmare. His friends were there. Sitting there in the orange, plastic chairs, staring at their feet, the walls, their hands. At first no one would look directly at him. They muttered in fake cheerful voices, asking him if he was ok, congratulating him on the new baby. He ignored them, walking toward where she should be. When he got to the door, he hesitated. Mustering up all his courage he opened the door to reveal a very clean, very sterile, very empty room. He checked the door again, to see if he was in the wrong room. He wasn't. He fell against the wall, and suck to the floor for the second time in an hour. Only this time, his head was in his hands, and he was crying. He was unable to stay strong, crying for himself, for his wife, and for his motherless baby.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He stood, holding his child, tiny hands wrapped around large fingers. She was too young to understand, or even realize what was going on, or how this would affect her, and young enough to need her almost as much as he did. He needed her in order for his sun to rise. He needed her to make it through the day without screaming. He needed her to make him whole. The whole time he stood there, the words on her gravestone burned into his eyes: 'Donnatella Moss-Lyman, Loving Wife of Joshua Lyman, and Mother of Julianna Lyman. You will always be in our hearts, warming our souls with your smile.' He gently pulled his finger away from the baby's grip, and wiped a tear off of his cheek. He would be whole. Not completely to begin with, but after her smile warming his soul, he looked down at the deep brown eyes that stared back at him, and her life giving his reason, he would find himself. He was going to be himself again, for the sake of his dead wife, and thriving child, he was going to be himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

The End