* * * * * * * *
I woke up next to Mulder the next morning, curled up against him. I pulled myself out of the bed, realizing I was hungry. He felt me get up and his eyes fluttered. He mumbled something that sounding like "Morning, Scully." A few minutes after I had walked into the kitchen, he joined me there. I poured two bowls of cereal and we ate breakfast uneventfully. The morning after. I always dreaded this.
"I'm going to hop in the shower." I smiled, and he nodded.
I let the hot water fall on my back as I wondered if we should talk about... This. I mean, what had really changed? We've loved each other for years, we were just acknowledging it now. They say sex changes everything. Would our working relationship be damaged? There was no going back, though, since I'd never be able to leave him behind. I walked out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel before heading into the bedroom.
I had on about half of my clothes when Mulder walked in. I was startled at first, but remembered I didn't have to cover up around him anymore. He just stood there for a few seconds before he laid out his clothes. I turned to him, and took a deep breath.
"Should we... Talk about this?" I asked.
"Talk about what?" He asked.
"Well, the fact that I'm standing in front of you half naked, for one."
"Scully, don't tell me you're having morning-after regrets." He said, seriously.
"Of course not, Mulder... I just think that maybe we should talk about how this is going to affect work."
"It's not going too. You know just because we're..." He paused. "Dating? Are we dating?" He asked, smiling. I shrugged. "Well, just because we're lovers, there, that sounds more mature... It won't change the way I look at you in the field. I figured you knew that."
"I just wanted to make sure. I don't know, I felt like not talking about it would be irresponsible." I said.
"Don't over-think it, Scully. Don't suck the fun out of it, worrying that it will ruin our working relationship. It won't. It will be separate from work. It *has* to be. We could be separated for fraternizing, you know Kersch is dying for a reason to split us up."
"You're right. So we'll keep it out of the office." I said.
"Okay. No going back now." Mulder smiled.
"No going back." I smiled back at him.
"Take out some warm clothes, Scully. I'm taking you somewhere later on tonight."
"You promised I wouldn't have to go out in the snow." I whined.
"No, I promised you wouldn't have to put on skis." He replied.
"So where are we going?" I asked.
"It's a surprise. It's outdoors, though, so like I said, dress warm. You'll love it, I promise... It's something romantic."
"You? Romantic? I never knew." I smiled.
"I'm going to try to not be offended, Scully. I'm *very* romantic."
"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I never saw a romantic side of you before, that's all."
"Well you're going to see it on occasion from now on." He smiled.
"I must say, I can't wait." I grinned.
* * * * * * *
The day progressed along slowly. Scully and I walked over to the Slopeside Bar & Grill, located above the ski lodge. We ordered lunch, and she protested when I wouldn't let her split the bill. I insisted, being that we were on vacation. I knew when we got back to DC, she'd insist on paying for half of all meals eaten during the work day. While we were away, however, I wanted to take care of her, just for a little while.
Being with Scully was unlike being with any other woman in the world. It was different because I was in love with her, and she loved me back. It was different than every relationship I'd ever had... I never had to worry about her cheating on me with another man, and I clearly wasn't being used just for sex. I mean, sure, sex is great, but nobody uses someone for seven years to get some. Of course, she knows I feel the same about her. We don't have to worry about falling out of love, or being left for someone else. All we have to worry about is holding onto each other, and not losing one another to the inevitable... In our line of work, that's more possible than for the rest of the world. Almost everyday there is an opportunity for one of us to be lost forever...
Even before this vacation, she's been such a major part of my life. My truest friend, my love, my soul mate... I could never survive without her, not after the last seven years. I watch her as we walk back to the condo, and wonder what she's thinking. I selfishly hope it's about me, but what guy wouldn't want to be in Scully's mind?
We spend the day lounging around the condo, making fun of a cheesy Lifetime movie. The plots are always so exaggerated, and the guy is *always* wrong. I checked my watch and noticed it was already almost 6:30. We had to leave the house in fifteen minutes to be on time for my romantic surprise.
"Scully, we should get ready. I want to leave here in fifteen minutes." I told her.
"So you're seriously not telling me where we're going?" Scully asked.
"Seriously, Scully. That's the essence of a surprise." I smiled.
"I don't like surprises." Scully said.
"You just haven't got a really cool surprise lately. I mean, there's a difference between a romantic surprise and a alien colonization type surprise."
"If you say so." She teased, getting up to go change into something warmer.
I changed as well, and then we put on our shoes and coats. I took her hand in mine, and wondered how it was possible to be so lucky. I never had much of anything to love before Scully. After I lost Samantha, when my parents split up, I didn't believe in love. How could I? My parents were supposed to love each other, but they split up. As a family, we were supposed to love Samantha, but we let them take her... My parents were supposed to love me, but they were too caught up in their own agendas or too wracked with guilt to be good parents. I guess they loved me, but they didn't express it. Not after Samantha was taken.
I didn't date much in high school. I was set on my studies, so I could get away from my family and all the pain I felt inside. Besides, I didn't know what love was. Sure, I said I loved the girls I dated, but what guy doesn't say that? When I went to college, and I started dating Phoebe, I got involved in the worst relationship of my life. Phoebe was a bitch, plain and simple. She used me, and I fell for it. I thought I loved her, but what I loved was being with someone. She was a woman who told me she loved me, and I wanted so badly to be loved that I fell for her. She didn't care about me, and I knew she didn't by the end of the relationship. When I left to go back to America, she didn't even care. Me leaving was nothing to her.
Then, when I started dating Diana at the academy, I thought I had found someone I really loved. We shared the same job, and we got along well. There was something missing, though. Diana was different than Phoebe, in that Diana did care about me. And maybe at one time, she loved me. The problem with Diana was that everything she did, she did for herself. She didn't care whose side she was on, as long as she came out on top. She left me without thinking about it, because she thought it would be good for her career. She was a better person than Phoebe, but that doesn't make her a good person. She was arrogant, and selfish. She always had been, and I think she realized it. She saved my life, but I don't think it was all self-sacrificial. I'm not quite sure she would have tried to save me if she thought they'd kill her for it.
There were other women in between, but I didn't even bother to pretend I loved them. None of them compared to Scully. Scully was different. She was nothing like Phoebe or Diana. She was honest, and never compromised her integrity. She was selfless, and everything she did, she did because it was the right thing. She gave up a promising career in medicine to go into the FBI and help people. She gave up a promising career in the FBI to chase conspiracies and aliens with me. Why did she do it? To expose the evils of the world, again, for other people.
The big difference of all is that nothing is missing between us. We're more than lovers, we're best friends. We both love each other. This feeling... It's nothing I've ever felt before. It's total bliss to know you're in love with the most wonderful woman on the planet (or elsewhere) and that she loves you back. It makes me forget everything--all my terrible problems. Before Scully, I was a self-loathing lunatic. Now, I'm a just a lunatic. I don't hate myself anymore. I finally know what love is.
I realize I haven't said anything the entire car ride. "We're here," I murmur, as I pull into the parking lot for the Cortina Inn. I'm confident that she still has no idea why we are here. I can tell by the look on her face that she's wondering why we went from the condo to an Inn, but she's not getting any hints from me. I take her hand as we maneuver the icy walkway and head inside.
* * * * * * *
What the Hell are we doing at an Inn? We *have* a place to stay already. What on earth is he up to now? I take his hand as we walk towards the front door to avoid falling on my face. The Inn, however confusing to me, is beautiful. It's old fashioned, set back off the road in a wooded area. It's very dark outside, and it's cold. That's Vermont for you at night: dark and cold. He opens the door for me and we step inside.
The Inn is even more charming inside. It's big, and the lobby is beside a large sitting room. There are people sitting around, playing checkers and reading books beside the fire. "I'll be right back," Mulder murmured, walking towards the front desk. I nodded silently, and watched him walk away. I'm still adjusting to being in this kind of a relationship with Mulder. I'm thrilled about it, though, that much is obvious. For a very long time, I've wanted nothing more than to be with him.
I'd been very lonely before this vacation. Earlier on in our partnership, I had friends. I kept them for quite some time, and contrary to popular belief I still have a *few* left. It wasn't friends that I was seeking, though. Mulder has been my best friend for a long time, and we spend time together often. Lately, its been more often than in previous years. Still, I was lonely. It's lonely living all by yourself. I was tired of eating dinner alone almost every night. Of coming home by myself, with nothing to look forward to except a long, lonely bath. I was tired of going to sleep alone, and waking up alone again in the morning. I hadn't woken up next to a man in years. Now, all of that was going to change. Not only would there be a man next to me, it would be Mulder.
Honestly, I was anxious to plunge into a romantic relationship with Mulder. Finally, I had everything I wanted. My past relationships had been healthy, normal, but scarce. There was Marcus, which was a typical high school senior boyfriend type of a relationship. Then I got in way over my head with Daniel. I found out he was married, but I didn't leave right away like I should have. I stuck around, and I'm not quite sure why. When I left for the FBI, he was disappointed in me. I couldn't let him, or anyone else, dictate the direction my life was going in anymore. After him, there was Jack. We were good together, but we also got too busy for one another. Suddenly, there wasn't anything between us anymore. I left the academy, and we ended things.
And now here I was with Mulder. My wandering mind meandered back to the present, and I wondered when Mulder would reveal his big surprise to me. He smiled at the clerk at the desk and walked back over to me. Saying only "Come on, Scully," he placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me along as he had done so many times before.
We walked down a long hall, until we reached a room with a sign that read 'Reading Room.' I looked around, and saw several couches and chairs, a piano, and a beautiful fireplace. The walls were lined with full bookcases, hence the name of the room. It was empty, but there was a table with hot chocolate set up on it. Nobody else was in the large room except for us.
"So," I began, looking at Mulder. "You going to tell me why I'm here?"
"I suppose now would be a good time." He smiled, fixing us both some hot chocolate.
"Well?" I coaxed.
"Well, Scully, we're here for a romantic evening event." He smiled.
"Which would be..." I urged him to continue.
"Someone is curious." He teased.
"I have every reason to be. You take me from the condo to another inn. What sense does that make?"
"Inns don't only supply beds you know, Scully. Maybe you ought to get your mind out of the gutter."
"I think it would rather stay there, right beside yours." I smiled.
"You'll see why we're here soon enough." Mulder said. He was so annoying sometimes. "Take in the country atmosphere." He teased, sitting down on the couch in front of the fireplace.
I sat beside him and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun, Mulder. I told you, I don't like surprises."
"And I told you I'd change that." He said. After a sip of hot chocolate, he smiled at me. "I feel like I'm stuck inside a game of Clue."
"How do you mean?" I asked, smiling.
"I think Doctor Scully killed the millionaire, in the Reading Room, with the candlestick." He said, picking up the candlestick on the table in front of us.
I laughed so hard I thought I would spit my hot chocolate out.
Just then, a man walked into the large room. I watched, still confused on why I was here, as he walked over to our side of the room. His boots clunked heavily on the floor, but everyone wore clunky boots in Vermont. Even in the boots Scully had, her feet always seemed cold. Smiling, the man walking over to them introduced himself.
"Hi, folks. My name is Rudy. Are you Mr. Mulder?" He asked.
"Yes, I am. This is Dana." He introduced me. Dana. I didn't think about names. Would he begin to call me Dana now? I would never call him Fox. He doesn't seem like a 'Fox' to me. He's called me Dana a few times before though, when the emotion was high... Would he use it now? He hadn't done so yet.
"Well, if you folks are ready to head outside, we can get going. Everything is all set."
Ah, back outside. Hence the warning to dress warmly.
As we followed Rudy, I whispered to Mulder. "Will you please tell me--"
"You'll see." He said, opening the door for me as we stepped outside.
We walked along a long cobblestone path, which happened to be rather icy, and I held onto Mulder's arm for balance. That was when I saw it. Two horses, big, white horses, and a sleigh. A horse-drawn sleigh! All that went through my mind was 'How sweet!' and 'How romantic!' I was reduced to a sixteen year old girl who received a rose on Valentines Day, which is unlike me. Then again, I hadn't been romanced in years. I looked up at Mulder, unable to hide the smile on my face.
"Mulder, this is so sweet of you..." I began, not knowing what to say.
Rudy hoped into the front of the sleigh, and I noted the irony that a guy named Rudolph would lead our sleigh through the night. The sleigh was built for about twelve people, and suddenly I wondered why we were the only two people in it. I looked to Mulder, who had led me to the back row of the sleigh.
"Mulder, how did you manage to get the sleigh all to ourselves?" I asked.
He took something out of his pocket, and showed me twelve sleigh ride tickets.
"You bought out the entire sleigh? Mulder, you didn't have to, other people around would've been fine..."
"No, Scully. I wanted to do something romantic."
"And it was no difficulty to pay for all those tickets? Mulder, I know how much we make..." I began, assuming this couldn't be too cheap.
"My parents left me a lot of money, Scully. One thing they were good for." He said sarcastically. "And there's nobody I'd rather spend it on."
I grinned, realizing I haven't felt as happy as I did that week in years. It was surreal, in a way, sitting in a horse-drawn sleigh with Mulder. Sure, we've loved each other for years... But I was never sure we'd do anything about. In fact, I was afraid we wouldn't. At the same time, I was also afraid we *would.* Afraid it would destroy the precious friendship and working relationship we had all along. Now that we've taken that step... It's clear to me that very little has changed. We've always felt this way about each other, but now we've got the courage to acknowledge it.
The horses starting off into the woods startled me. The sleigh jerked forward, and I lost my balance a little. I let out a loud laugh, grasping Mulder's arm. He turned to me, laughing as well. His eyes burned into mine; all of that passion he'd once focused on so many other things, focused on me. It was amazing. Nobody ever made me feel the way Mulder had these past few days. I knew when we went back to work, he wouldn't have as much opportunity as he did here to make me feel so loved, so special. I knew he was relishing it, before we had to go back to our professional relationship 50 percent of our time together.
The sleigh was complete with sleigh-bells, that jingled through the forest as the horses began their journey. Mulder covered both of us with the blanket that had been waiting for us in the sleigh.
"You cold?" He asked.
"No, Mulder. I haven't noticed the cold at all." I said, so caught up in the moment I'd forgotten I was rather chilly. The blanket warmed me up, but it was Mulder's beside me that made me forget the cold.
"Isn't it beautiful up here, Scully?" Mulder asked, as the horses slowed down a bit in the woods.
"Incredibly," I said, taking in my surroundings.
I was startled, and thrown off balance, again, as the horses began to speed up down a bumpy incline. "Oh!" I exclaimed, bouncing up off of my seat for a moment. I broke out into laughter when I noticed that Mulder was also gripping the edge of the sleigh as the horses raced through the woods. I had assumed these things were smooth and slow, but I was a bit mislead in that assumption.
The trail traversed through the woods, inclines and declines meeting us along the way. The horses pulled us through the snow, and Mulder and I couldn't suppress laughter for much of ride. Fun. God, he was the only one who made me have fun anymore. Honestly, every fun thing I've done in quite some time is associated with Mulder. Sure, I've gone out with old friends from college and had a good time occasionally in the past few months, but Mulder was a different kind of fun. He was the amusing joke that lightened up a dark case, the smirking face who both annoyed me and made my day. How many times have I had to try to remained annoyed with him when I want to burst into laughter? When he takes me on the silliest of cases, with circus freaks and the like. When we we're sitting in a room with a gay couple, protecting them from a monster. When we we're hunting ghosts. Going undercover as a married couple to take down a *garbage monster.* Chasing around the 'Great Mutato' and taking him to see Cher... Who else could make any of these things fun? Of course, there were also the special after-case things we'd been doing lately... Exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve (*after* a ghost hunt)... And I'll never forget Mulder teaching me to hit a baseball... Hips before hands.
The sleigh pulled to a stop in the middle of the woods for a moment, and Rudy looked back to us.
"I usually give 'em a rest about here." He smiled.
Mulder and I nodded silently. Rudy got down from his seat to check on the horses out front.
"So, do you like it?" Mulder asked.
"Of course I do, Mulder. It's so fun, and very romantic. I admit, you're more romantic than I had believed."
"I told you so, Scully."
"You know, you won't get away with telling me you told me so as soon as we get back to work."
"I know. I like your stubbornness, Scully. It just goes to show how you never give up."
"You're equally as stubborn, Mulder." I smiled.
"Well, now I don't know if it's an insult or a compliment." He smiled back.
There was a short moment of silence, before he shifted slightly and met my gaze.
"Scully, thank you. I don't think I've ever told you this, or ever thanked you for it, but you've changed my life. You turned me around, pulled me out of a self-loathing downward spiral... I didn't care about anything but my work before you, and now, you're my everything. You went from being someone who I thought was working against me to the only one who I know isn't. You saved me, Scully. So many times, in so many ways."
"Mulder," I began, closing my eyes to take in all that he had said. "I remember the first few times we worked together... You were arrogant, you were irrational... I never imagined it would work. Not until a few cases later, when I really began to see who you were. Slowly, I felt myself falling for you, pretending not to notice it myself. Every time I thought I'd lose you, I would become so afraid that you'd never know what you really meant to me. Even when you pissed me off Mulder, which was very often, and always will be, I couldn't stay mad at you. I'll never be able too."
"Good. Because I've got a lot of screwing up left in my life, and I can't have you leaving me when I piss you off." He grinned.
"Never, Mulder. I'd never leave you. Not if I could help it."
He gently pushed a bit of hair away from my face, tucking it behind me ear. Gently, and ever so slowly, he moved his lips down to mine. It was a short, chaste, loving kiss. The kind of kiss that made you feel really beautiful, worth a million dollars. Mulder always knew when to treat me like a work of art, and when to treat me like his partner. Well, maybe not *always.* But most of the time.
What a wonderful vacation this had turned out to be. What if I had told him no? Would none of this had ever happened? Would I be sitting at home for yet another night, wondering, thinking of him? It doesn't matter now. Nothing mattered to me at that moment, nothing but Mulder and I. Rudy jumped back into the sleigh, the horses ready to keep going.
We rode off into the night together, never looking back once.
.end.
AUTHORS NOTES: Wow! This was ultra-fluffy. Almost fluffy to the point of apology! But, I really did all of this stuff in Vermont and I thought it could make a fun fic, so I did it. And yeah, it is *really* fluffy, but I feel that people need that once in a while. Who doesn't love fluff? Oh, and Rudy really *was* my sleigh driver. The Cortina Inn is a real place, where they really do give horse drawn sleigh rides. And yes, they do stop to give the horses a rest. It wasn't just so they could have a moment of privacy.
Anyway, I hope you liked it. Let me know here at the site or by sending me an e-mail at JILLIBEAN@aol.com. Oh, and thanks to Agent Balinski, by kind of sort of beta reader, who I run everything by before posting it.
Jillian