"We need a spy Malfoy." Seamus' words ring in my head. We need a spy.
I knew I had not been brought back to be a father to my children or a
husband to my wife, but I had let myself hope that the reason was
honourable, desirable.
"A spy?"
"Yes Malfoy, a spy. A sneaky little rodent to report to us."
"When do you need me to start?"
"This morning."
This morning? I have grown soft, used to the Muggle ways of Friday at five and two weeks notice. "You need me to start this morning?"
"Are you daft? I said this morning didn't I?" Hermione gives Seamus a warning glance and he quiets.
"Sorry Finnigan, I don't usually pay attention to what you say as much of it is unimportant."
Seamus lunges at me but Harry puts his arm out to bar him from attacking. Seamus smiles faintly. "Daddy's not here to protect you Malfoy. You killed him. Remember?"
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I hate this. The way everyone turns when I enter the room, they way they mutter. The way they draw their wands. "I am not an informer!" I shout. "But Lucius was. I had to kill him, and I had to go to America to keep from being killed myself. But I am here now, and I will do whatever it takes to remove the stain from the Malfoy name." They murmur amongst themselves and then nod, welcoming me back to their ranks. I had forgotten how stupid Death Eaters are. I record the minutes and leave before everyone else, returning to Seamus' apartment. Flat, I correct myself for the hundredth time.
I walk in the door. "Don't touch the walls Malfoy, I cleaned them when I got this place. I don't want your Death-Eater germs all over them."
I walk along the hall and see the tiny handprints, decorations of a child. I raise my eyebrows as I walk in the door, and toss my notebook onto the table. Seamus grins. He is trying to get his daughter to eat, but she's more interested in her crayons. He shrugs, giving up, and walks over to me. "No wonder all your children are so tiny." I say.
"More convienent," he says. "This one slept in a drawer until she was three. If it wasn't for your meddlesome wife, it would have lasted her till she was seven."
"Hermione's not my wife." I say quietly.
"If you want me to get all spastic and stuff, I won't. Quite frankly, I don't care about your social life. I don't care if you become a real father to those kids and I don't care if Hermione IS your wife. You're here to do a job for me Malfoy, and I don't care what else goes down, as long as you're not messing anything up."
"I'm fond of you too Finnigan."
Seamus lights a cigarette and offers me one. I shake my head. Marta wouldn't let me smoke. "I hate you Malfoy." Seamus shrugs. "It's no big secret. But I have a kid here, and quite frankly, I would rather house a man I hate than not have her." He smiles. "But love is something you can't understand."
"I understand love better than you Finnigan. I left for love and I came back for love."
"No Malfoy," Seamus says, all traces of humour gone. "You left because you were scared and you came back because we made you."
I shake my head but say nothing. I am ashamed of the truth, and shame is almost more than I can bear.
"A spy?"
"Yes Malfoy, a spy. A sneaky little rodent to report to us."
"When do you need me to start?"
"This morning."
This morning? I have grown soft, used to the Muggle ways of Friday at five and two weeks notice. "You need me to start this morning?"
"Are you daft? I said this morning didn't I?" Hermione gives Seamus a warning glance and he quiets.
"Sorry Finnigan, I don't usually pay attention to what you say as much of it is unimportant."
Seamus lunges at me but Harry puts his arm out to bar him from attacking. Seamus smiles faintly. "Daddy's not here to protect you Malfoy. You killed him. Remember?"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=--=-=-=- =-=-=-=-=-==-=-=
I hate this. The way everyone turns when I enter the room, they way they mutter. The way they draw their wands. "I am not an informer!" I shout. "But Lucius was. I had to kill him, and I had to go to America to keep from being killed myself. But I am here now, and I will do whatever it takes to remove the stain from the Malfoy name." They murmur amongst themselves and then nod, welcoming me back to their ranks. I had forgotten how stupid Death Eaters are. I record the minutes and leave before everyone else, returning to Seamus' apartment. Flat, I correct myself for the hundredth time.
I walk in the door. "Don't touch the walls Malfoy, I cleaned them when I got this place. I don't want your Death-Eater germs all over them."
I walk along the hall and see the tiny handprints, decorations of a child. I raise my eyebrows as I walk in the door, and toss my notebook onto the table. Seamus grins. He is trying to get his daughter to eat, but she's more interested in her crayons. He shrugs, giving up, and walks over to me. "No wonder all your children are so tiny." I say.
"More convienent," he says. "This one slept in a drawer until she was three. If it wasn't for your meddlesome wife, it would have lasted her till she was seven."
"Hermione's not my wife." I say quietly.
"If you want me to get all spastic and stuff, I won't. Quite frankly, I don't care about your social life. I don't care if you become a real father to those kids and I don't care if Hermione IS your wife. You're here to do a job for me Malfoy, and I don't care what else goes down, as long as you're not messing anything up."
"I'm fond of you too Finnigan."
Seamus lights a cigarette and offers me one. I shake my head. Marta wouldn't let me smoke. "I hate you Malfoy." Seamus shrugs. "It's no big secret. But I have a kid here, and quite frankly, I would rather house a man I hate than not have her." He smiles. "But love is something you can't understand."
"I understand love better than you Finnigan. I left for love and I came back for love."
"No Malfoy," Seamus says, all traces of humour gone. "You left because you were scared and you came back because we made you."
I shake my head but say nothing. I am ashamed of the truth, and shame is almost more than I can bear.