Chapter 12
Harry spun around and around in the dark as he was sucked into his hated Professors memories.
When he hit the ground he found that he was being propelled down the corridor towards Dumbledore's office.
His attempts to stop were fruitless.
Harry had just given up trying to stop when he was hit by a wave of apprehension, followed by determination.
What the hell? Where had those feelings just come from?
It was a couple of seconds before he realised that this was not like any of the memories that he had found himself stranded in before. In this memory, he was actually in the body of his Potions Professor, and to top the absurdity off, he was able to feel the emotions that Snape had been feeling at the time these memories were actually taken place. The idea made him more than a little uncomfortable.
He was just wondering what memory he was in when he saw himself, as while as a sheet, muttering as he walked along in a daze. Harry would have laughed if he hadn't realised where this was going.
He felt himself stop, and a strong dislike overcame him. It was then followed by confusion and just a touch of bewildered concern.
His mouth opened of its own will, and shouted his own name, once.twice.then feeling annoyed and slightly panicky three times.
He watched his body look dazedly up at himself and felt that the disquiet he was now feeling was totally warranted.
He felt Snape's horror at the accidental kindness shown to him and then the relief as he slipped back into greasy git mode.
He felt the guilt and horror of his teacher as he watched himself running off, nearly knocking over Lupin.
Snape spoke briefly with Lupin before they both decided to see Dumbledore.
'Well, Severus, Remus, what can I do for you?'
'It's Harry, sir, he was acting oddly in the hall and since he came from your office we thought you might know what was wrong.'
'I see.'
Harry felt a chill sweep through Snape's body as he looked at Dumbledore's unusually grave face.
'Harry, has just received word that his Aunt has committed suicide, because his uncle has been assaulting her.'
Harry felt remorse course through Snape's veins as he stumbled back.
'Shit!'
'Severus?'
'I said something to him, that given the circumstances, I probably shouldn't have said. I was concerned, he was white and muttering. I asked if one of his devoted fans had passed away.'
Dumbledore was looking graver by the second. 'what did he do?'
'He looked up at me, with those. those eyes, those eyes that have aged far to quickly, and he started crying, crying Albus. He said something about it not being a fan, but an enemy and he ran off.'
Harry watched as Lupin looked at Snape in disgust, and felt the misgiving feelings of Snape as he looked upon the face of the angry werewolf.
'He knocked into me and was crying his eyes out.'
'Very well, I suggest that you and Severus go and talk to him. He should be in the Gryffindor tower by now. Severus, you must apologise to him.'
Harry felt the anger and revulsion that Snape felt, before it was overcome by resignation.
'Good. I expect a full report when I get back.'
The office dissolved in blackness.
Harry found himself outside the door to his dormitory. He felt a mix of Snape's irritation and his own discomfort, as he realised what would come next.
He heard a slight movement behind the door before he heard his own weary voice bidding them to enter.
Lupin raised his eyebrows at Snape/Harry as he turned the handle.
He felt Snape's amusement as he watched his face blanch as Snape/Harry entered the room.
As Lupin started to explain why they were there, the realisation that he was about to apologise to Potter hit Snape/Harry. A wave of fury built up inside of him, so when Lupin stated that he thought he could smell blood, Snape totally over reacted.
When he had finished his tirade Snape turned back to Harry.
Harry felt Snape's slight wave of guilt as he watched himself quoting Snape's harsh words.
Then he felt the anger of the disrespect and was about to retort, when a warning look from Lupin silenced him.
Harry tried to scrunch his eyes up, but was unable to as he watched himself throw his hands up into the air.
He felt Snape stiffen and then shock, horror, distress and finally pity swept through his body.
It looked much worse from this angle.
He felt himself pushing Snape and Lupin out the door and it slamming shut.
Both Lupin and Snape/Harry stood for a moment, confused then he felt both himself and Snape astounded as they perceived tears glinting in Lupins eyes.
Then they were gone as both Lupin and Snape launched themselves at the door shouting and screaming.
He saw Lupin's near desperation as he banged on the door. He found himself turning around and taking his worry out on the younger children whilst shouting spells to Lupin.
He felt Snape's relief as he saw Ron and Hermione pushing their way through the people on the stairs.
He watched, numb, as Snape's body carried him through the doorway, into an empty room.
He saw Hermione and Ron's scared faces as they tried to find out what was happening. He thanked the God that he didn't really believe in that Ron hadn't said anything about the cloak, and then cursed him as he realised that Snape had read between the lines.
The room once again evaporated into nothingness.
Harry found himself back in Dumbledore's office and felt like cringing. Dumbledore was staring at Snape in disbelief.
'Are you sure? I mean.how long do you think he has been doing it?'
'I only got a quick glance but some of those scars looked old. We have no way of telling because one of the first charms Flitwick teaches his students is the concealment charm. He must have been using it because Poppy would have noticed on his numerous trips to the infirmary.'
'Yes, something tells me that his muggle relatives wouldn't have checked his arms for cuts. Ah Severus, everyone credits me with being an excellent judge of character, and I believed I was too, but I can't be that good. I mean, he has the right profile to be a cutter.'
Dumbledore sighed.
'I just don't understand how I didn't see it before.'
The next place that Harry found himself was up at the head table. He cast his mind back, trying to work out when this memory was from.
As Snape's head searched the Gryffindor table Harry saw Ron's black eye and remembered what memory he was in.
He felt Snape jerk in surprise as he saw Ron's eye. He took in Hermione's pale face and the way that they were barely touching their food.
The door to the Great Hall opened and Snape/Harry looked up to see the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.
He felt the automatic resentment as they walked into the hall. Harry saw with Snape's eyes how his emotionless face turned from a blank vacant stare to bitter resentment when he saw Ron and Hermione.
He stalked passed them, his anger obvious even from Snape's seat, and he felt Snape's involuntary shudder.
Lupin got up from his seat and bent to whisper in Snape's ear. 'Dumbledore wants you, me and Sirius to talk to him after the morning lessons. I'll go and tell him.'
Snape inclined his head to show he had heard and took a bite of his toast.
He watched Lupin bent to speak to Harry.
From Harry's position, he could see the way that his face, if possible turned even angrier.
*Well what did they expect?* Harry wondered as he watched Lupin leave the room. *It was, and still is now that I think about it, none of their business.*
He turned his attention back to himself and felt some of his anger resurface, as he saw the do-gooder expressions on Ron and Hermione's face.
He watched himself push past them before turning around.
He couldn't see their faces but he remembered the pathetic hope that they had been emanating.
He watched with delight as he took in the faces of two of the many people that he hated right at that moment and opened his mouth.
'STAY OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE!'
Harry felt Snape's body leap six feet in the air. He heard, this time around, that the whole student and teacher body had frozen and were sitting in a stunned silence.
He watched as Ron and Hermione turned around, and felt a slight stab of guilt, before being overwhelmed by Snape's pity?!?!?!
Snape felt sorry for Ron and Hermione?!?!?!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Harry looked around the dungeon that he used for his potions class. He felt a panicky feeling wash over Snape's body as the whole class ran for the door.
*What the.?*
He watched as Lupin ran around the corner and felt Snape's slight relief as he Heard Hermione say that someone had found the mirror of Erised again.
As he was carried up the hall in Snape's body, he tried to work out where he was. Everyone was looking scared.
He watched as Hermione tripped on the uneven flooring and Malfoy steadied her.
Huh?!?!
As they neared the door at the end of yet another corridor, Harry felt a sense of foreboding. He knew which memory he was in now.
As Lupin pushed the door open he heard him exclaim 'Fucking Merlin, oh shit, Harry!'
He felt Snape's body tense as he prepared himself to follow Lupin in. He felt Snape's shudder and wave of nausea.
Harry stared at himself lying on the ground with Lupin bending over him. He saw his wrists, nearly shredded and the blood that was flowing out from them. He looked at the smile on his face and hatred rose in him.
*Couldn't they tell that I was happy? Stupid Fuckwits.*
He felt the presence of his two friends and Malfoy behind him, and obviously Snape had as well, because he turned sharply and told Ron and Malfoy not to let Hermione in to the room.
Snape's distress was evident to Harry as Hermione pushed past him. Snape turned and tried to stop her, but could only watch in despair as she saw Harry and collapsed.
Snape crossed the room to light a fire so that he could summon Madam Pomfrey. Harry felt him shudder again as he heard Ron vomit in the corner.
He ignored Madam Pomfrey as she muttered something about the noise. He turned and started pacing up and down the room.
He heard Hermione's ragged sobs as she came around and looked up to see Dumbledore in the room.
Harry felt Snape's inexplicable relief as he looked at the Headmaster. Harry knew that feeling. He doubted that he would ever feel it again, but he knew what Snape was feeling. It was relief that now that Dumbledore was here, everything would be fine.
He moved to the fire place and threw some floo powder in to the orange flames, dancing in the grate.
Harry started as he saw Lupins face, it was pale and he could see Lupin trembling. For a moment Harry felt a stab of regret that he had hurt his father's friend, but then quashed it with the reminder that Lupin wouldn't feel the sadness for long.
The room faded away.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The Great Hall swam before Harry's face. The sombre looks on the pale faces of his class mates and teachers left Harry in no doubt as to this memory.
What surprised him most was the intense emotions that Snape was experiencing. To Harry's amazement the man, who had gone out of his way to wreak malicious havoc in Harry's life, was actually trembling. He was distressed that Harry had tried to kill himself.
As Harry looked around the room, he saw Hermione sobbing out her heart on Ron's shoulder.
And Ron! The boy who scorned at any weakness of emotions in a boy, looked like he had been crying.
Harry looked around with Snape's eyes and saw Malfoy, pacing up and down the room. Even his face looked troubled.
A brief blackness told Harry that a few hours had been fast forwarded before the room re-emerged.
Hagrid was now crying, with Flitwick trying to comfort him. Harry would have laughed at the sight of the big man bawling his eyes out, with the tiny man trying pat him on his back, but he couldn't reach. Harry, however, felt more like crying himself.
Had he really caused so much pain, to so many people? And they didn't even know that he was dead yet.
Harry could see the desperate hope that had settled in many peoples faces. Harry felt Snape's pity as he saw Lupin on the ground, trying to comfort a whining Sirius.
Snape's head turned and Harry was looking straight into the eyes of his transfiguration Professor.
Her eyes were glittering with tears as she leaned over to speak to Snape.
'You were there, Severus. Do you.' she choked and a tear slowly slipped down her face. Harry stared aghast as she continued. '.do you think that he will survive?'
Harry felt Snape's anguish and guilt as he battled with himself about whether or not to tell her what he really thought.
'I wont lie to you Minerva, he looked.he looked bad. Terrible in fact. The gashes were so deep. His face so white. he was smiling, Minerva, smiling! His deadened eyes were staring at me as Lupin stepped into the flames. Those eyes that have aged so much faster than his body. Even if he does survive Minerva, I don't know what will happen to him. Those eyes, and that smile. He looked so peaceful and happy. A fifteen year old child should have that tranquil look every day. It should be on his face every second. It should exasperate me in class so that I am forced to yell. It shouldn't only appear when the child has tried to take his own life. It's not right.' Snape looked at the tears trickling down his colleague's face. 'I'm sorry, Minerva. I didn't want to distress you even more.'
'You didn't answer, my question Severus.'
The door swung open as he replied. 'Well I think you're about to find out anyway.'
Harry watched as Hermione sprang up and ran to Dumbledore. The guilt that was eating away at him was unbearable. Harry couldn't even cry because he was in another's body.
Harry waited with bated breath as Dumbledore opened his mouth.
*Please lie, please don't let anyone take it badly, please let everyone be happy, don't let anyone be sad. Please don't tell them* Harry knew that his silent pleading to the memory of Dumbledore would do nothing to stop him.
'I'm sorry.'
Harry could only watch horrified as Hermione screamed in despair. He felt Snape's resigned misery. He watched as Ron pushed Dean and Seamus away from him as the hated tears streamed down his face.
Harry's remorse worsened as he saw Malfoy collapse to the ground and next to him McGonagall began to weep. Hagrid's sobs were drowning out nearly every other noise, but Harry could still hear Sirius's tormented howls.
Harry suddenly found Snape standing. The chair fell unheeded the floor as he strode from the room.
The vision ended and Harry found himself back in the infirmary. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he looked at the sympathetic face of Snape. The expression that Harry had never ever expected to see on the said persons face made him cry harder.
'You never believed that anyone cared, did you?' Snape repeated bewildered.
Harry shook his head wordlessly. Snape looked at the distraught boy and was ashamed that he had been so cruel to him. He stepped over and gathered him into a hug.
Harry stiffened against him, and Snape silently berated himself as he quickly loosened his grip. Harry suddenly relaxed in his arms and Snape rocked him back and forwards like a baby.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Albus Dumbledore was a wise man. In the wizarding world's opinion he was the wisest man alive. To his students and many of the naiver members of the faculty, he was the solution to all conceivable problems barring Voldemort (and some still thought that he knew how rid the world of that monstrosity). Albus Dumbledore himself had believed that he was more perceptive than the average witch or wizard.
But as Albus Dumbledore looked into the mirror in his private chambers, and allowed the automatic mask of calm and serenity to slip from his face, all he saw was a tired, lost old man. A man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. A man who didn't have the vaguest idea how to help Harry Potter.
Dumbledore wasn't a vain man but he did know that he was one of the smartest and most powerful wizards ever to have walked the earth. He was the head of the Order of the Phoenix, he had successfully defeated Grindlewald, he had spent years researching alchemy and had assisted in the creation of the Philosophers Stone, he spent his evenings (when most people were relaxing in front of the fire) devising plans and plots to undermine Voldemort for heavens sake, and yet he couldn't figure out how to prevent one fifteen year old boy from taking his life.
Granted that this fifteen year old boy was most probably the only hope of salvation for the wizarding and muggle world alike, but still. Dumbledore shook his head. What would he do?
A knock at the door shook him out of his reverie and the mask slid back into place as he sat up straight and bid the newcomer to enter. Professor McGonagall stood in the hall outside his room, panting slightly.
'Al.Albus, come.you must.follow me.miracle.Harry.Se.Sev'
Dumbledore stood and followed her from the room. As they neared the infirmary Dumbledore, overcome by now with curiosity, spoke.
'Minerva, what is going on? Has something happened to Harry?'
'Shhhh, come and see. No, don't go in, just look, I haven't seen him like this since Sean. Lucidinoto.'
The door shimmered transparently so that they could see in, but the room's occupants could not see out.
Dumbledore gasped, for sitting in a chair, cradling a sleeping Harry Potter in his arms was none other that Severus Snape.
As the two watched, Harry sighed quietly and moved, changing his position so that he was snuggling into Snape's chest.
Two gasps sounded from behind the awestruck pair as Hermione and Lupin took in the scene that appeared before them.
As if sensing their presence, Snape lifted Harry and carried him over to the bed. He placed him under the covers tucked in the sheets.
Harry spun around and around in the dark as he was sucked into his hated Professors memories.
When he hit the ground he found that he was being propelled down the corridor towards Dumbledore's office.
His attempts to stop were fruitless.
Harry had just given up trying to stop when he was hit by a wave of apprehension, followed by determination.
What the hell? Where had those feelings just come from?
It was a couple of seconds before he realised that this was not like any of the memories that he had found himself stranded in before. In this memory, he was actually in the body of his Potions Professor, and to top the absurdity off, he was able to feel the emotions that Snape had been feeling at the time these memories were actually taken place. The idea made him more than a little uncomfortable.
He was just wondering what memory he was in when he saw himself, as while as a sheet, muttering as he walked along in a daze. Harry would have laughed if he hadn't realised where this was going.
He felt himself stop, and a strong dislike overcame him. It was then followed by confusion and just a touch of bewildered concern.
His mouth opened of its own will, and shouted his own name, once.twice.then feeling annoyed and slightly panicky three times.
He watched his body look dazedly up at himself and felt that the disquiet he was now feeling was totally warranted.
He felt Snape's horror at the accidental kindness shown to him and then the relief as he slipped back into greasy git mode.
He felt the guilt and horror of his teacher as he watched himself running off, nearly knocking over Lupin.
Snape spoke briefly with Lupin before they both decided to see Dumbledore.
'Well, Severus, Remus, what can I do for you?'
'It's Harry, sir, he was acting oddly in the hall and since he came from your office we thought you might know what was wrong.'
'I see.'
Harry felt a chill sweep through Snape's body as he looked at Dumbledore's unusually grave face.
'Harry, has just received word that his Aunt has committed suicide, because his uncle has been assaulting her.'
Harry felt remorse course through Snape's veins as he stumbled back.
'Shit!'
'Severus?'
'I said something to him, that given the circumstances, I probably shouldn't have said. I was concerned, he was white and muttering. I asked if one of his devoted fans had passed away.'
Dumbledore was looking graver by the second. 'what did he do?'
'He looked up at me, with those. those eyes, those eyes that have aged far to quickly, and he started crying, crying Albus. He said something about it not being a fan, but an enemy and he ran off.'
Harry watched as Lupin looked at Snape in disgust, and felt the misgiving feelings of Snape as he looked upon the face of the angry werewolf.
'He knocked into me and was crying his eyes out.'
'Very well, I suggest that you and Severus go and talk to him. He should be in the Gryffindor tower by now. Severus, you must apologise to him.'
Harry felt the anger and revulsion that Snape felt, before it was overcome by resignation.
'Good. I expect a full report when I get back.'
The office dissolved in blackness.
Harry found himself outside the door to his dormitory. He felt a mix of Snape's irritation and his own discomfort, as he realised what would come next.
He heard a slight movement behind the door before he heard his own weary voice bidding them to enter.
Lupin raised his eyebrows at Snape/Harry as he turned the handle.
He felt Snape's amusement as he watched his face blanch as Snape/Harry entered the room.
As Lupin started to explain why they were there, the realisation that he was about to apologise to Potter hit Snape/Harry. A wave of fury built up inside of him, so when Lupin stated that he thought he could smell blood, Snape totally over reacted.
When he had finished his tirade Snape turned back to Harry.
Harry felt Snape's slight wave of guilt as he watched himself quoting Snape's harsh words.
Then he felt the anger of the disrespect and was about to retort, when a warning look from Lupin silenced him.
Harry tried to scrunch his eyes up, but was unable to as he watched himself throw his hands up into the air.
He felt Snape stiffen and then shock, horror, distress and finally pity swept through his body.
It looked much worse from this angle.
He felt himself pushing Snape and Lupin out the door and it slamming shut.
Both Lupin and Snape/Harry stood for a moment, confused then he felt both himself and Snape astounded as they perceived tears glinting in Lupins eyes.
Then they were gone as both Lupin and Snape launched themselves at the door shouting and screaming.
He saw Lupin's near desperation as he banged on the door. He found himself turning around and taking his worry out on the younger children whilst shouting spells to Lupin.
He felt Snape's relief as he saw Ron and Hermione pushing their way through the people on the stairs.
He watched, numb, as Snape's body carried him through the doorway, into an empty room.
He saw Hermione and Ron's scared faces as they tried to find out what was happening. He thanked the God that he didn't really believe in that Ron hadn't said anything about the cloak, and then cursed him as he realised that Snape had read between the lines.
The room once again evaporated into nothingness.
Harry found himself back in Dumbledore's office and felt like cringing. Dumbledore was staring at Snape in disbelief.
'Are you sure? I mean.how long do you think he has been doing it?'
'I only got a quick glance but some of those scars looked old. We have no way of telling because one of the first charms Flitwick teaches his students is the concealment charm. He must have been using it because Poppy would have noticed on his numerous trips to the infirmary.'
'Yes, something tells me that his muggle relatives wouldn't have checked his arms for cuts. Ah Severus, everyone credits me with being an excellent judge of character, and I believed I was too, but I can't be that good. I mean, he has the right profile to be a cutter.'
Dumbledore sighed.
'I just don't understand how I didn't see it before.'
The next place that Harry found himself was up at the head table. He cast his mind back, trying to work out when this memory was from.
As Snape's head searched the Gryffindor table Harry saw Ron's black eye and remembered what memory he was in.
He felt Snape jerk in surprise as he saw Ron's eye. He took in Hermione's pale face and the way that they were barely touching their food.
The door to the Great Hall opened and Snape/Harry looked up to see the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.
He felt the automatic resentment as they walked into the hall. Harry saw with Snape's eyes how his emotionless face turned from a blank vacant stare to bitter resentment when he saw Ron and Hermione.
He stalked passed them, his anger obvious even from Snape's seat, and he felt Snape's involuntary shudder.
Lupin got up from his seat and bent to whisper in Snape's ear. 'Dumbledore wants you, me and Sirius to talk to him after the morning lessons. I'll go and tell him.'
Snape inclined his head to show he had heard and took a bite of his toast.
He watched Lupin bent to speak to Harry.
From Harry's position, he could see the way that his face, if possible turned even angrier.
*Well what did they expect?* Harry wondered as he watched Lupin leave the room. *It was, and still is now that I think about it, none of their business.*
He turned his attention back to himself and felt some of his anger resurface, as he saw the do-gooder expressions on Ron and Hermione's face.
He watched himself push past them before turning around.
He couldn't see their faces but he remembered the pathetic hope that they had been emanating.
He watched with delight as he took in the faces of two of the many people that he hated right at that moment and opened his mouth.
'STAY OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE!'
Harry felt Snape's body leap six feet in the air. He heard, this time around, that the whole student and teacher body had frozen and were sitting in a stunned silence.
He watched as Ron and Hermione turned around, and felt a slight stab of guilt, before being overwhelmed by Snape's pity?!?!?!
Snape felt sorry for Ron and Hermione?!?!?!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Harry looked around the dungeon that he used for his potions class. He felt a panicky feeling wash over Snape's body as the whole class ran for the door.
*What the.?*
He watched as Lupin ran around the corner and felt Snape's slight relief as he Heard Hermione say that someone had found the mirror of Erised again.
As he was carried up the hall in Snape's body, he tried to work out where he was. Everyone was looking scared.
He watched as Hermione tripped on the uneven flooring and Malfoy steadied her.
Huh?!?!
As they neared the door at the end of yet another corridor, Harry felt a sense of foreboding. He knew which memory he was in now.
As Lupin pushed the door open he heard him exclaim 'Fucking Merlin, oh shit, Harry!'
He felt Snape's body tense as he prepared himself to follow Lupin in. He felt Snape's shudder and wave of nausea.
Harry stared at himself lying on the ground with Lupin bending over him. He saw his wrists, nearly shredded and the blood that was flowing out from them. He looked at the smile on his face and hatred rose in him.
*Couldn't they tell that I was happy? Stupid Fuckwits.*
He felt the presence of his two friends and Malfoy behind him, and obviously Snape had as well, because he turned sharply and told Ron and Malfoy not to let Hermione in to the room.
Snape's distress was evident to Harry as Hermione pushed past him. Snape turned and tried to stop her, but could only watch in despair as she saw Harry and collapsed.
Snape crossed the room to light a fire so that he could summon Madam Pomfrey. Harry felt him shudder again as he heard Ron vomit in the corner.
He ignored Madam Pomfrey as she muttered something about the noise. He turned and started pacing up and down the room.
He heard Hermione's ragged sobs as she came around and looked up to see Dumbledore in the room.
Harry felt Snape's inexplicable relief as he looked at the Headmaster. Harry knew that feeling. He doubted that he would ever feel it again, but he knew what Snape was feeling. It was relief that now that Dumbledore was here, everything would be fine.
He moved to the fire place and threw some floo powder in to the orange flames, dancing in the grate.
Harry started as he saw Lupins face, it was pale and he could see Lupin trembling. For a moment Harry felt a stab of regret that he had hurt his father's friend, but then quashed it with the reminder that Lupin wouldn't feel the sadness for long.
The room faded away.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The Great Hall swam before Harry's face. The sombre looks on the pale faces of his class mates and teachers left Harry in no doubt as to this memory.
What surprised him most was the intense emotions that Snape was experiencing. To Harry's amazement the man, who had gone out of his way to wreak malicious havoc in Harry's life, was actually trembling. He was distressed that Harry had tried to kill himself.
As Harry looked around the room, he saw Hermione sobbing out her heart on Ron's shoulder.
And Ron! The boy who scorned at any weakness of emotions in a boy, looked like he had been crying.
Harry looked around with Snape's eyes and saw Malfoy, pacing up and down the room. Even his face looked troubled.
A brief blackness told Harry that a few hours had been fast forwarded before the room re-emerged.
Hagrid was now crying, with Flitwick trying to comfort him. Harry would have laughed at the sight of the big man bawling his eyes out, with the tiny man trying pat him on his back, but he couldn't reach. Harry, however, felt more like crying himself.
Had he really caused so much pain, to so many people? And they didn't even know that he was dead yet.
Harry could see the desperate hope that had settled in many peoples faces. Harry felt Snape's pity as he saw Lupin on the ground, trying to comfort a whining Sirius.
Snape's head turned and Harry was looking straight into the eyes of his transfiguration Professor.
Her eyes were glittering with tears as she leaned over to speak to Snape.
'You were there, Severus. Do you.' she choked and a tear slowly slipped down her face. Harry stared aghast as she continued. '.do you think that he will survive?'
Harry felt Snape's anguish and guilt as he battled with himself about whether or not to tell her what he really thought.
'I wont lie to you Minerva, he looked.he looked bad. Terrible in fact. The gashes were so deep. His face so white. he was smiling, Minerva, smiling! His deadened eyes were staring at me as Lupin stepped into the flames. Those eyes that have aged so much faster than his body. Even if he does survive Minerva, I don't know what will happen to him. Those eyes, and that smile. He looked so peaceful and happy. A fifteen year old child should have that tranquil look every day. It should be on his face every second. It should exasperate me in class so that I am forced to yell. It shouldn't only appear when the child has tried to take his own life. It's not right.' Snape looked at the tears trickling down his colleague's face. 'I'm sorry, Minerva. I didn't want to distress you even more.'
'You didn't answer, my question Severus.'
The door swung open as he replied. 'Well I think you're about to find out anyway.'
Harry watched as Hermione sprang up and ran to Dumbledore. The guilt that was eating away at him was unbearable. Harry couldn't even cry because he was in another's body.
Harry waited with bated breath as Dumbledore opened his mouth.
*Please lie, please don't let anyone take it badly, please let everyone be happy, don't let anyone be sad. Please don't tell them* Harry knew that his silent pleading to the memory of Dumbledore would do nothing to stop him.
'I'm sorry.'
Harry could only watch horrified as Hermione screamed in despair. He felt Snape's resigned misery. He watched as Ron pushed Dean and Seamus away from him as the hated tears streamed down his face.
Harry's remorse worsened as he saw Malfoy collapse to the ground and next to him McGonagall began to weep. Hagrid's sobs were drowning out nearly every other noise, but Harry could still hear Sirius's tormented howls.
Harry suddenly found Snape standing. The chair fell unheeded the floor as he strode from the room.
The vision ended and Harry found himself back in the infirmary. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he looked at the sympathetic face of Snape. The expression that Harry had never ever expected to see on the said persons face made him cry harder.
'You never believed that anyone cared, did you?' Snape repeated bewildered.
Harry shook his head wordlessly. Snape looked at the distraught boy and was ashamed that he had been so cruel to him. He stepped over and gathered him into a hug.
Harry stiffened against him, and Snape silently berated himself as he quickly loosened his grip. Harry suddenly relaxed in his arms and Snape rocked him back and forwards like a baby.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Albus Dumbledore was a wise man. In the wizarding world's opinion he was the wisest man alive. To his students and many of the naiver members of the faculty, he was the solution to all conceivable problems barring Voldemort (and some still thought that he knew how rid the world of that monstrosity). Albus Dumbledore himself had believed that he was more perceptive than the average witch or wizard.
But as Albus Dumbledore looked into the mirror in his private chambers, and allowed the automatic mask of calm and serenity to slip from his face, all he saw was a tired, lost old man. A man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. A man who didn't have the vaguest idea how to help Harry Potter.
Dumbledore wasn't a vain man but he did know that he was one of the smartest and most powerful wizards ever to have walked the earth. He was the head of the Order of the Phoenix, he had successfully defeated Grindlewald, he had spent years researching alchemy and had assisted in the creation of the Philosophers Stone, he spent his evenings (when most people were relaxing in front of the fire) devising plans and plots to undermine Voldemort for heavens sake, and yet he couldn't figure out how to prevent one fifteen year old boy from taking his life.
Granted that this fifteen year old boy was most probably the only hope of salvation for the wizarding and muggle world alike, but still. Dumbledore shook his head. What would he do?
A knock at the door shook him out of his reverie and the mask slid back into place as he sat up straight and bid the newcomer to enter. Professor McGonagall stood in the hall outside his room, panting slightly.
'Al.Albus, come.you must.follow me.miracle.Harry.Se.Sev'
Dumbledore stood and followed her from the room. As they neared the infirmary Dumbledore, overcome by now with curiosity, spoke.
'Minerva, what is going on? Has something happened to Harry?'
'Shhhh, come and see. No, don't go in, just look, I haven't seen him like this since Sean. Lucidinoto.'
The door shimmered transparently so that they could see in, but the room's occupants could not see out.
Dumbledore gasped, for sitting in a chair, cradling a sleeping Harry Potter in his arms was none other that Severus Snape.
As the two watched, Harry sighed quietly and moved, changing his position so that he was snuggling into Snape's chest.
Two gasps sounded from behind the awestruck pair as Hermione and Lupin took in the scene that appeared before them.
As if sensing their presence, Snape lifted Harry and carried him over to the bed. He placed him under the covers tucked in the sheets.