Waking Up From The Past
Chapter 4: Waking Nightmares

Spoilers: 3rd season Angel ep 'Provider' and 3rd season Buffy
So far: Cordy's having headaches after visions and floating! Angel's clueless as usual. Wesley is bashing his self-esteem. Fred is Fred and Gunn is cool as ever. Kate came in with a mystery of switched consciousness and promptly went away (leaving her body behind). Don't worry, more answers and questions abound in this chapter. A/N: Everyone who's reviewed this story so far, thanks for the great comments!

A park on Baker Street, January 23, 2002

When Cordelia regained consciousness, she found Angel staring down at Kate's lifeless body. Other than a pained expression on his face, he seemed otherwise alright. Relieved that he and she were both intact, she jumped up quickly and ran towards him. Feeling him give a start and shrink from her touch, she gave him a puzzled look. Seeing the obvious hurt, she caved in her feelings and opened her arms to wrap around him.

And was still incredibly confused when he placed his hands on her shoulders and gracefully sidestepped her.

As he backed away to escape her grasp, she gaped at him, her stomach in her throat. What was going on? "Angel? Are you okay?"

He looked at her with a blank expression. "I'm fine." he replied slowly. "But what am I doing here, Cordelia?" And did that thing kill her?" he gestured towards the dead creature and Kate, lying beside each other.

"Uhhhh, yeah." she replied. She scrunched her face in confusion. "Did that thing hit you on the head or something?" He shook his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about. When I saw it, it was already dead." he replied in a low voice.

Cordy narrowed her eyes at him. Angel was acting strange. Instead of being comfortable with his surroundings, he had his head ducked and he was speaking in a hushed, conspiratorial voice. When he noticed her peering at him closely, he shuffled his feet nervously and started gravitating behind the shadow of a tree.

Suddenly, he spoke up, "Cordelia, you're probably not used to me being back."

"Back?" she repeated, not comprehending his train of thought.

"Look, I don't know what Buffy told you guys about me coming back from the hell dimension, but..." he looked around pensively, then asked, "Cordelia, where am I?"

Cordy's stomach fell with a thud. He had called her Cordelia with an unfamiliar tone in his voice three times now. He didn't know where he was. Not to mention that he had spoken the B-word in her presence. Worse, he had said it in that longing, sacred way she hadn't heard for a long time. Gazing at the perplexed and impassive way he was regarding her, she felt herself stop breathing. For the first time since she could remember, she felt tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to fall.

Straightening up, she took a deep breath. Before he could dance away from her again, she grabbed his arm and yanked him towards the black car she fondly dubbed the Angel-mobile. "Come on," she told him through her blurred vision, "We have to find Wesley... now!"

***

A park on an unknown street, November 18, 1998 (Third season Buffy!)

Angel whirled around, having just dispatched the demon. All of a sudden, blue waves surrounded him and his eyesight became unfocused. When he got his bearings again, he didn't immediately recognize his surroundings. Ignoring the white spots he was seeing in his sight, his thoughts swept to Cordelia, but he couldn't see her anywhere. Looking around, he noticed that he was in another part of the park, and there was no sight of his Seer, Kate or the demon he had just killed.

His ears picked up the click of expensive heels on a sidewalk. His hopes up, he sought the source of the sound and to his immense relief, saw Cordy walking, looking very tense. He headed towards her and saying, "Cordy," enveloped her in a crushing hug.

For a second, he didn't realize that her back was incredibly stiff and she wasn't hugging him back.

He released her and peered down. She looked different. Her hair was no longer swept up in a casual ponytail; it was now in a bun. Plus, she wasn't wearing casual clothing anymore either. She had on a knee-length skirt and matching jacket. Looking up, he looked into her round hazel eyes.

With a sinking dismay, he saw a mix of confusion, anger and immense fear reflected back.

She glared at him for a long moment, before asking, in her former trademark head cheerleader voice, "What do you think you're doing?"

Angel opened his mouth to say, "Hugging you," when he heard a loud yell from her and felt something soft connect with his jaw. Caught off guard, he felt slim hands push his chest back and suddenly he was sprawled on the ground.

He shook his head, staring after her quickly retreating figure. With a little admiration, he fought down a chuckle. Where had she ever learned to pack such a punch? Without thinking, he called out to her, "Cordy! Wait! I can explain!"

Pausing, she stopped running and turned, 20 metres from where he lay on the ground. Hesitation was apparent as she watched him stagger back up into a standing position. He should have recognized that there was the earlier youthfulness that Cordy had when she was still in high school, before the visions had taken its toll on her. An unmistakeable softness and look of uncertainty crossed her face as she considered his plea. This was the Cordy he knew and understood. He made a mental note to remind her that he appreciated her sticking with him for all these years. That is, when he got the chance.

He didn't have more time to think about this, because suddenly he felt a figure tackle him to the ground again. He looked up and saw a vicious looking Faith above him, straddling his stomach.

"I knew you were trouble!" she hissed at him. Licking her lips maliciously, Angel watched, horrified, as she raised a mighty stake to plunge into his chest.

***

A park on Baker Street, January 23, 2002

Wesley made his way back to the park, his head slightly drooping, his weapon trailing behind him. He had lost track of the demon several blocks into his chase, and refusing to give up, he had scoured the neighbourhood. Forty five minutes later, he realized that he had lost it and made his way back to the group.

Mentally, he chastised himself. How was he going to explain this one?

"Story of my life." he huffed under his breath. "Wesley Wyndham-Price, hero-wannabe extraordinaire, the scourge of failed demon hunters." He shook his head blindly. "How did I ever delude myself into thinking I could be anything else?"

He gave himself a bitter chuckle. "But Father always knew what a disappointment I would turn out. Yes, Father always did know best."

He paused by a park bench and slumped down on it. He should accept his failures and own up to the fact that he would never be the great leader he had always wanted to be.

The leader his father had always told him he never would be.

"Yes, well I finally proved him right. That will make him plenty happy when I try calling him next time." he stared at the clean and shiny weapon in his hand.

A distorted, blurry reflection of him stared right back.

A cool breeze floated by him and a putrid smell assaulted his senses. Looking to his far right, he faintly noticed a blonde woman lying motionless on the ground.

Getting closer to her, he saw that it was Kate.

"God, " he said, bringing his hand to his mouth. The monster that had gotten away was lying face forward, Angel's battle-axe jutting out of its back. But where was everyone else?

Assessing the environment, he saw his book lying facing up on the ground. Picking it up, he noticed that it was opened to the spell he had marked, the one that was supposed to have restored Kate's consciousness to the proper time period.

What had happened here?

Frantic, Wesley turned towards the street. Miraculously, a cab was creeping up the street. Hailing it down, he jumped in and told the driver to floor it back to the Hyperion hotel.

***

The Hyperion hotel, January 23, 2002

When a very confused Angel entered the hotel with Cordelia, the first thing he noticed was how very large and majestic the lobby was. The ceiling was at least 50 feet high and there was a large, circular red sofa in the center. Floor to ceiling, the walls gleamed, and there were black iron railings running along the wide staircase.

In awe, he asked her in his hushed voice, "I live here?"

She nodded, a note a pride in the smile she shone at him. "And this is the base of our operations." She headed towards the large marble counter.

Right. Angel Investigations. To quote Cordelia, it was 'a private investigative organization that helped the hopeless, specializing in vanquishing nasty demons and strange evil things.' Unable to keep his astonishment hidden, Angel turned around slowly, raising his eyes towards the large chandelier above him. Keeping this place so well lighted, alone, must cost him a fortune.

When Cordelia made it back to him, she was frowning. "Wesley's not in the office yet. Maybe he went upstairs." And with that, she quickly sprinted up the red carpeted staircase. Angel glanced up at the second floor. It didn't seem all that well lighted.

Not wanting to be left alone in the light, he silently followed her up the stairs. As he walked along the dimly lighted hallway, he tried each of the closed doors, quickly. They all seemed to be locked. Hearing Cordelia's voice floating towards him from an open room up ahead, he drifted towards it.

What he saw in front of him made his eyes go wide and jaw drop.

In front of him was a baby crib. Beside it was Cordelia taking a tiny baby out of the hands of a large green demon with red horns and eyes. The demon was wearing a yellow jacket and equally yellow pair of pants. Judging from the way they were interacting with each other, Cordelia wasn't afraid of it.

Or the baby.

"Hey!" a cheerful voice called out. The green demon was talking to him. "Here's the proud papa, back from a grueling night of slaying."

Angel did a double-take and almost looked behind him. Knowing that there was no one behind him, he stood rooted at his spot. There was no way he could be a father, he thought. Watching Cordelia coo and rock the baby in her arms gently, his eyes widened again. What nightmare had he waken up into...?

Finding his motor movements, he tentatively moved towards Cordelia. "Is this really...?"

"Yeah," she answered, without waiting for him to finish. "This is Connor, your son." Swiveling the baby's face towards him, she cooed, impishly. "Looks just like his father, doesn't he?"

Still not touching him, Angel swallowed hard. "And you're... his mother?"

Cordelia turned back at him quickly, obviously fighting the urge to laugh. "Lord, no! His mother is Darla." she exclaimed. Then, much more softly, she nuzzled the baby's forehead and said, "Of course I would never hold that against him." Placing a kiss on the baby's nose, she smiled tenderly, "It doesn't mean I love him any less."

Angel shook his head, blinking several times. Nothing was making sense to him. The male demon broke in again.

"Don't worry, Angel-cakes." he assured him, a look of amusement plastered on his face. "It'll sink in one of these days."

He stepped away from the green demon. "Who are you?"

"Oh, sorry, I should have introduced you to him." Cordy said. "This is Lorne. He reads people's auras... he's especially good at reading them when you sing." At the questioning look that Lorne gave her, she said, "I know Angel's acting a little strange now. You remember what he was like before Connor came into his world, don't you? And before we got to be friends, he was pretty lost."

Angel kept backing his way out of the room. A son and he was friends with Cordelia. He thought he had escaped suffering his eternity of torture. The only thing he could think of was to get out of the suffocating madness of this hotel and head back into the sanity of the sewers.

Suddenly, Cordelia headed towards the door too. "Oh my gosh. We can't waste another minute. We need to find Wesley, pronto." Holding the baby on her hips, she reached out to grasp Angel's arm. "Let's go back downstairs. I gotta think of a way to get to Wesley."

For a minute, he felt like twisting himself out of her grasp and running out the door, out of this surreal reality. But he didn't. Other than the fact that he hadn't a clue what was going on, he wasn't in any immediate danger. Reasoning that he didn't want to push her out of his way and take the chance of hurting Cordelia or the baby, he silently complied. That didn't stop the frantic churnings of his head.

As he followed Cordelia down the stairs, he stared at the innocent face blowing bubbles and giggling at him. He wasn't going to run out the door, he decided. At least, not until he got some answers.

Disclaimers: Not mine.
(c) March 29, 2002