Waking Up From The Past
Chapter 6: Three's company, Two's stranger
by Hollywood Phoenix
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Spoilers: 3rd season Angel ep 'Provider' and 3rd season Buffy
So far: Cordy's visions remind her of 3rd season Buffy years! Present!Angel finds himself in 1998 again, while Past!Angel lives a life worse than hell in 2002. :) Faith nearly staked Present!Angel, but Buffy stopped her in time. However, he might be just as dead if he can't figure out a way to tell Buffy why he tried to hug Cordelia! Wesley finds that he has no answers, for once.
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A park on an unknown street, November 18, 1998
The air was cool, but pleasant. The night was calm and clear. Any other situation, and Angel would have been enjoying the evening, only he had inexplicably found himself in a unique position. To his right was Cordelia, with her hands on her hips, her mouth pressed together in a firm line. To his left was Buffy, her arms crossed tightly to her chest, gradually turning an irate shade of red.
He had never before felt such an overwhelming urge to run and hide.
Musing over his past actions, he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. Immediately, he decided that someone was playing a cruel joke on him. From the time that he had read the spell to return Kate's consciousness to the right body, till this moment, he hadn't been in control of his destiny. Staring at the two grim faces to each side of him, he conceded to himself that he was most definitely going to be the one to pay.
Quickly, he weighed the odds. Buffy was physically stronger, and he didn't want to mess up this timeline entirely. However, Cordelia could really drill down a person and history only knew that she could hold a mean grudge. Besides, he didn't want to lie to this Cordelia, even if he wasn't even friends with her yet. Silently, he hoped that she would one day appreciate this loyalty.
He could always step back and referee a fight between them, but he finally realized a most startling thought. Three years ago, he would have expected Buffy to win a catfight with Cordelia, hands down, due to her strength and hidden intelligence. Hell, he would have rooted for her then as well. Now, however, he knew how perceptive and vicious Cordelia could be if she wanted to be. Plus, when it came right down to it, he wasn't so sure where his loyalties lay anymore. But, he had the uneasy feeling that he was holding the match to a massive explosive.
"What did you just say?" Buffy demanded, glaring at her taller rival.
"He," Cordelia said, pointing at him, "tried to hug me." Angel cringed when Cordelia dramatically pointed at herself. He silently wished that she hadn't heard him. The brunette cheerleader flashed a smug smile. "Was that clear enough for you?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes. "You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" she challenged. "If you think you can hurt me by slandering my boyfriend, you're going to have to do a lot better than that." Angel's eyebrows shot up. Did Buffy just refer to him as her boyfriend? What happened to them trying to be just friends? He held his breath for Cordelia's response.
"So why's your honey trying to mack on me? If he's really your boyfriend, you better put a leash on him." Cordelia snapped back. Angel's jaw dropped a bit in his surprise. Cordelia was actually fighting with Buffy over him, and it wasn't because the last time she had seen him, he would have killed her without a second thought. This was an expected turn of events, but something told him to stay quiet.
"What dream world are you living in? I don't need to chain my boyfriend to me all the time, because I know Angel. And unlike some people, I trust my boyfriend. Speaking of leashes, shouldn't you be calling Xander now?" Buffy shot back.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cordelia demanded angrily.
"Your boyfriend? You know, the one that you think is at your beck and call? Your private kicking bag and picker-upper rolled into something called Xander?" Buffy walked up to Cordelia until she could stick her nose up to her face. "The one who just helped us save the day once again?"
"This has nothing to do with him. Besides, he's not here, is he? He was too busy playing superhero with the rest of you tonight, as usual."
"So you decided to move on, already? Why am I not surprised? Love 'em and leave 'em; I remember that. I used to be part of that life. I was wondering when you'd try to ditch him and who your next victim would be."
"Now who's being delusional?"
"We all know that the only reason you're with Xander is because you want to order him around." Buffy accused. "You think that just because you're popular means that you've got this elevated status. You throw a bone his way every so often to keep him in check, but with girls like you, it's just a game. You play with him until the next puppy comes along." She uncrossed her arms and smirked, "Only, he's not just another adoring fan, is he? He doesn't spend every waking moment with you. He's got friends to care about besides you. He's got a better purpose in his life besides you. That just eats you up, doesn't it?"
Angel's eyes widened at the venom of the slayer's words. Quickly, he glanced at Cordelia's face. When he saw the taller girl's expression, he felt himself move instinctively towards her.
"You don't know what you're talking about." Cordelia replied, her voice strangely quiet. Her face had turned cold suddenly, as if shutting down. She turned away, but not before Angel saw the flicker of pain in her eyes.
Buffy continued, as if she hadn't heard her, "Leave other people's boyfriends alone. Leave my boyfriend alone. You tried to get him once before, remember? Get it through your fluffed-up hair that he's not interested in you. He'll never be interested in you."
Cordelia froze and swiveled back towards the petite blonde. Standing directly in front of her again, she jabbed the air in front of the slayer's nose. "You're forgetting that Angel put his arms around me. Why don't you go ask Faith? She was witness to this whole incredibly wrong scene."
Buffy's face wavered with uncertainty. Seizing the opportunity, Cordelia hammered on.
"If you're saying that Angel wasn't trying to hug me, then what was he doing? Could it be, that your lover is still a vicious killer? Or maybe, he just got tired of you and he was the one who decided to move on." Turning to look at him, Cordelia balefully smiled at him, "Don't you think it's time we asked him?"
To Angel's horror, both the blonde and brunette heads had their eyes focused on him. Tension was overwrought as Cordelia's voice cut through the air again, "So, Angel, why don't you tell Buffy yourself what you were doing to me."
~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~
The park on Baker Street, January 23, 2002
Silence hung in the park as five grim faces stared at the book in Wesley's hands. But Cordy's ears kept ringing with the ex-Watcher's honest admission.
"We have to do something." she broke in, wringing her hands a bit.
Wesley sighed heavily, "I don't know what else to try." He glanced at the moody vampire, partially obscured in shadow. "We need to go back to the Hyperion and start over. We'll need to consult more books."
Cordy stared at the faces of her friends, as they all nodded in somber agreement. "That's it?" she asked, in disbelief. "We're just going to let Angel stay in... in that hell year all by himself? What if he's in trouble? We don't know what he's going through right now. He doesn't even know what's going on, because we have no way to communicate with him."
Gunn stepped forward, "Cordy, we're all upset, but there's nothing else we can do here. The spell didn't work, so let's go back and figure out something else." Fred came up to her and laid a reassuring hand on her arm.
Cordy looked in the direction of the tall stranger with the face of her friend. He was still standing outside the circle of the group, oblivious to their world and fading into darkness. She bit her lip to hide the wave of loneliness that was sweeping over her. Staring at Fred's hand still gripping her arm, she made a decision.
"Fred, please give Connor a kiss from me and take care of him." she softly said to the slim woman beside her. The other brunette looked at her, in a mix of alarm and empathy. "Don't try to change my mind, Wes." Cordelia said more sharply, turning to her oldest friend as he opened his mouth in protest. Then a little more gently, she joked lightly, "This might give you a bit more incentive to find a spell that works."
Wesley went up to the woman he had once thought he was in love with. With genuine concern and a little sorrow, he gave her a tiny smile, "Well, I guess I know better than to talk you out of something when your mind is made up." Flipping open the book, he held the spell out to her. "You know what to do."
As her friends watched in slightly stunned silence, Cordelia laughed a little shakily, "Here goes nothing." With a deep breath she started to recite from the book in her hands.
~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~
A parking lot, January 23, 2002
A lone figure nervously waited, sporadically pacing around the empty parking lot. Occasionally, he looked at his watch and wiped his bald head with a handkerchief. As a set of headlights appeared and blinded his sight, he put his arm up to block the harsh lights.
At the sound of a car door slamming and footsteps, he stared into the headlights. Adjusting his glasses and squinting at a light-haired man's form slowly taking shape in front of him, he asked nervously, "Sir?"
"Why did you call me?" the light-haired man demanded. "I thought I made it clear to everyone that I left for good."
"I know." the nervous man replied. "I - I'm very sorry, but I thought..."
"How did you find me?" the mystery man cut in. "Do they know where I am now?"
"N-n-n-o." the first man stuttered. "They tried to find you before but I was able to prevent them from being successful. Besides, they would never suspect that you would ever consider the type of law you're practicing now. I was very careful not to let anyone know, especially her."
"So, you're working for her now, are you? Is she still the same back-stabbing - "
"Yes, but that's not why I called you." At the blond man's glare, the stuttering started again, "I-I-I heard something."
"What did you hear?" the question was soft but menacing.
"Project T has been re-opened." the agitated man blurted out. "They started the cycles."
"That can't be." the other man said, "They shut it down originally because of the risks."
"Yes, but they don't care now. There's been a lot of shuffling around...new management."
The blond man took a step towards the taller figure anxiously wiping his forehead in front of him. As the taller man flinched, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you took the chance to tell me."
~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~
An upscale looking street, November 18, 1998
Cordelia Chase walked beside a silent figure in black and wondered how she had convinced him to walk her home. Even more strange, she had actually made Buffy look silly in front of Angel. And stranger still, Angel walking with her on the streets of Sunnydale, in the dead of night, felt like the safest and most natural thing in the world.
"So what were doing walking by yourself?" Angel's voice cut in. Cordelia absentmindedly noticed that although his voice was soft, it was also curious and confident.
"Enjoying the fresh air," she answered automatically, a little sarcastically. Her sharp tone usually shut up people. Angel obviously wasn't one of those people.
"In a Chanel outfit and two hundred dollar heels?" he said to her questioningly. She took at quick glance at him, surprised that a man had been so observant, let alone correct in his assessment of her clothing.
"I had a job interview." she replied cautiously. She was surprised again when he nodded and didn't press further. "It was at this really expensive boutique." she blurted out suddenly. "I didn't have a car or a ride home so I had to walk back. And Xander was too busy saving the world to pick me up. I didn't even bother calling him." She shut her mouth to stop herself from continuing. She had said way too much already.
"Why not ask one of your friends?"
"As if I could tell them that I was getting a job!" she retorted in horror. She clamped her hand to her mouth. When did she start being all confessional?
Angel smiled at her gently. "I understand. I won't tell anyone." Cordelia looked at the vampire curiously. What was going on?
"How did you know that my outfit was a Chanel?" she asked him warily.
"I've been in Paris. I've caught a few fashion shows." At her raised brows, he shrugged, "I'm an over two hundred years old vampire with the memory of an elephant. I've seen a similarly cut outfit and guessed."
"Well, wonders... you mean you haven't always been in this pokey old place?" she asked.
"I thought you knew my history," he said slowly.
"Yeah, Giles dug up all this stuff about you before. You were born and raised in Ireland, but bashed around Europe and Asia before getting your soul and coming to North America. I don't really remember the specifics, like dates or anything. I figured that you've been skulking around here for ages. Anyway, your life wasn't all that exciting."
Angel appeared to be fighting down a spontaneous laugh. He was unsuccessful. "I guess to you, no one else is that exciting."
Cordelia glared at him, "I never made it a secret that it's all about me. At least I don't pretend I'm all altruistic and caring about others, all ready to slay her way to save the world, unlike -"
"Let's not go there," he stopped her, holding up his hands in slight defeat. "I didn't mean to take a jab at you."
Cordelia stared at him a long moment before speaking, "No matter what we find out on paper, we never really know a person, do we? I mean, how much can we ever really know about you? Where you've been and what you've done. Who you've been with. The only way to get to know someone is to spend time with them. Only, you haven't made yourself available to other people, have you?"
Angel seemed to consider her words, "You're right. Not many people can boast that right now."
"Except Buffy Summers. She knows you." Angel fell silent at her words. Uncomfortable suddenly, she changed topic, "So, why are you here in this hell-hole?"
"What, don't you like living close to the hellmouth?" he smirked. Seeing the face she made, he answered her, "I guess you're not one to live dangerously. You always seemed the type to move away from Sunnydale."
"As soon as I graduate, I'm on the next flight out of here." she told him confidently. Seeing the sudden sorrowful look in Angel's eyes, she nervously prattled on, "Europe better watch out, because I'm going to take it by storm."
Angel regarded her for a brief moment, before giving her a sad smile, "I'm sure you'll have a great time."
Cordelia peered at Angel's profile. Was that regret in his voice? Her thoughts flew back to earlier in the evening, when she had challenged Angel to tell Buffy what he had been doing. She had unreasonably blamed Buffy for having to walk home alone, and ticked off with Faith as well. Having the opportunity to take it out on someone, she had said that Angel hugged her. In truth, she had no idea what he had tried to do to her, but she was positive that he wasn't evil anymore. Stunned that she could irk Buffy and that her bluff wasn't called, it hardly registered that Angel had not denied her allegations. As a result of his silence, Buffy had assumed it was correct and run off in anger. Cordelia had felt just a twinge of guilt for having lied to the slayer.
Now, looking at him and recalling his guilty expression as they waited for him to protest that he hadn't been hugging her, she wondered if maybe she hadn't been lying. She felt the need to find out. Mistaking his sadness, and not pausing to think of her daring, she stopped and placed a hand on his chest, "It would be a shame not to enjoy Paris with someone who knows the place."
Angel swiftly took the hand from his chest and dropped it. Cordelia couldn't believe what she had just done. But even though he was brushing her advances, he was being gentle.
"This isn't you." he said simply.
Suddenly, Cordelia Chase was terrified. Who was this vampire to tell her who she was? "And what am I?"
"You're lashing out because Buffy's words hurt you tonight."
Cordelia chortled, belieing her shock and inner turmoil, "If you think that bleached blonde can - " At Angel's serious expression, she paused. What was it about this man tonight that made her want to admit everything?
"She was right. Xander is more apt to run to her side, to Willow's side, before he is to stay at mine." She fluttered her hands in anxiety, "My world is falling apart right now and I can't tell him, because he's too busy to care about my little problems. And my parents, having the real problems, are too busy to think about me. I can't tell my so-called friends because they would just make me the laughingstock of the school." She turned her anguished eyes to him. "You probably have no idea what this feels like."
"Don't be too sure. In my past, I hung around people who were ready to stab me in the back at a drop's notice. Remember Spike?"
"Yes, but that's in the past." Cordelia sniffed. "You're the love of Buffy's life now. I can't believe I'm saying something as sappy as this, but you'll probably be it forever."
"Am I?" When Cordelia stared at him in confusion, he clarified for her, "I made... make her the center of my world. She's the only light in my life but I'm not hers. And likely, never will be. So, I do know what you're going through now. There are nights when I'm left all alone, like you."
"What do you do, then?" Cordelia watched as Angel got a faraway look in his eyes.
"Throw myself into the darkness while I wait for her. Remind myself that being with her, even for one brief second a week, a month, is enough."
"Is it?" she asked softly. He didn't answer her directly.
"It's one of the hazards of falling in love with a super-hero." he replied just as softly. He came up to her suddenly and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. His touch on her cheek was gentle. Sensual.
Cordelia felt the pull between them and looked into Angel's liquid eyes. Slowly, she realized why Buffy found him so incredibly attractive and watching his lips part, she understood why he was so damn irresistible. Pausing, she wondered about her sudden magnetism to him. Was this part of the vampire's powers? In old movies, vampires hypnotized their victims. For a brief moment, Angelus flittered in her mind, but this man couldn't be him. Although she was being lured in, he was being too gentle, too sweet. Unmistakeably, she felt herself trusting him like she had never trusted anyone else before. Cordelia closed her eyes, anticipating a kiss. She was beyond reason.
At that moment, blue waves started to surround her and her eyes flew open in disorientation. When three unfamiliar faces greeted her, she felt her heart thud in terror. She put her hands on her hips and did the first thing she could think of. She opened her mouth. "Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on."
A man with glasses stepped forward and smiled tightly, "Welcome, Cordelia." he said in an English accent. "We've been expecting you."
~~X~~X~~ * ~~X~~X~~
Special A/N: This is my last chapter for a few weeks, because I'll be away and unable to write, much less be in front of a computer. So, I have a special request. I love the feedback I'm getting so far, and every review has been an incredible boost of spirits! For those of you who don't mind critiquing work, could you please write a more detailed review on the posted chapters? I'm specifically looking to improve my work, so let me know what you liked or didn't like about my writing style, pacing, characterization, plot development, creativity, originality, etc... Spelling and grammar will be cleaned up (in my edit! phase), so you don't have to focus on that. If you don't want to write a long review in my reviews section, please feel free to drop a line at hollywoodphoenix@yahoo.com. Regardless, all reviews are much appreciated!
Disclaimers: Angel and co. aren't mine.
(c) April 8, 2002
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