Waking Up From The Past
Chapter 9: Haunted by the Past and Present
by Hollywood Phoenix
Want to post this story? Please email me at: hollywoodphoenix@yahoo.com for permission. Thanks.
A/N: Thanks for the feedback! I'm really enjoying writing this story.
Spoilers: 3rd season Angel ep 'Provider' and 3rd season Buffy up to 'Lover's Walk'
So far: Present!Cordy switches with her Past!Cordy consciousness. Past!Buffy has a heart-to-heart with her mom. Lilah figures out that Lindsey's back in town.
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Angel stared at the confused brunette girl in front of him. Slightly ashamed, he dropped his hand quickly. Cordelia placed a hand on her cheek, as if missing his hand there.
"Angel, is that really you?" the confusion was replaced with unrestrained hope.
"Cordy?" he responded hesitantly.
There was a squeal, "Oh, it's really you!" and suddenly she was wrapping him in a very big, very enthusiastic hug.
Feeling how comfortable she was in his arms, Angel was struck by how much he missed this simple pleasure. He sighed quietly and breathed in. It was almost as if her scent had become more familiar to him again. Suddenly, he pulled back. "Wait, what are you doing here?"
"Aren't you glad to see me?" she asked, whacking him gently on the arm. "What, you have some pancake-faced demoness without an ounce of fashion sense stashed around here?"
"Is that a reference to how pale I look?" Angel joked. He shook his head, the smile spread wide on his face. "You're the only demoness that counts." Cordy whacked him again, this time a little harder, but she was grinning her mega-watt smile. Angel's face turned more serious, "You don't know how glad I am to see you."
"Well, you should be. Because I'm here to save your sorry behind."
Angel's eyes went round. "Oh, you didn't."
Cordy narrowed her eyes, "I didn't what? Come after you? Save you from the misery of Sunnydale?"
Angel groaned. "You did switch on purpose."
"Well, yeah! I jumped into the action, like the way you guys did when I was sucked into Pylea. I'm just returning the favour." Cordy explained proudly.
Angel shook his head again, the smile wiped from his face. "But now you're stuck with me."
"Come on, Wesley's going to work out a spell, Gunn'll take care of the big baddies, and Fred and Lorne will look after Connor while we're away. So, really, it'll be like a vacation." Cordy paused to think, "Only I didn't get a choice on the destination."
"What if it's not that simple? We don't know how long we'll be here. We also have no way of contacting them." Angel persisted.
"So then our selves from this time period will get a little bonus living from their dreary lives." Cordy countered. "Don't be such a downer."
Angel paled, "I forgot that it's not just us displaced, but also the consciousness we replaced."
"Huh?"
"I forgot we switched with ourselves from this time period." he said. "Great. The Queen of Sunnydale High in L.A. with the gang... and me."
Cordy glared at him, "Big deal. She's practically the me when I went to L.A. three years ago. You weren't exactly Mr. Congeniality yourself." She crossed her arms, stone-faced, "I can't believe I actually said that spell for you. It's nothing to you because you just like jumping into the action. What's a little inter-time switching as long as there's a little excitement and you can make like the main action-man? But I don't see anything in it for me. Hello, gratitude?"
Angel stared at her a moment, realizing that she had taken a huge leap of faith to come after him. He silently thanked the Powers that Be for making sure that they were with each other. "Thank you," he said somberly as he took one of her hands and raised it to kiss the back of it. "No one's ever done that for me before."
Cordy blinked at the romantic gesture. Angel was holding her hand in his now, but she could still feel the pressure of his cool lips on her hand. Not trusting her voice since she suddenly felt something in her chest rise up and lodge itself in her throat, she simply replied, "You're welcome."
Almost reluctantly, Angel gently let her hand go. "So," he said, clearing his own throat, "we need a game plan."
Cordy felt vaguely disappointed. 'What's going on with me?' she thought as she nodded her head in agreement.
"We have to find that book we used to get here and see if there's something we missed in it." he continued.
"Giles probably has it in his library." Cordy piped in.
"I'll look for it tonight." he told her.
"You mean, we'll look for it tonight." she corrected him.
"No, you're staying here." he said, looking at the door behind her.
"What?" her voice was getting louder and more shrill, but she didn't seem to care. Angel glanced at the door anxiously.
"Cordy, we have to act normally and follow everything we did in this timeline." Angel explained softly. "Your parents would have a fit if you don't sleep in your bed tonight."
"As if they would notice," she scoffed. "They're probably out. Let me guess - Dad's with his investors and Mom's out with the ladies, trying to pretend that we're not having money problems."
"We can't take that chance." Angel took an unconscious deep breath before stumbling forward with, "That's why I have to see Buffy tonight."
"What?" she repeated again, this time practically a shout. "Why? Buff--? But you aren't --? No!" She squinted at him, "What?"
Angel suppressed a groan, "I need to fix something that I did tonight."
"What did you do?" Cordy demanded, crossing her arms again.
"I screwed up the timeline a bit," he said guiltily before proceeding to tell her what had transpired earlier that night. "I have to smooth things over with Buffy tomorrow morning or she'll think there's something going on between us. That will just mess up everything." he concluded.
Cordy glared at him, "Leave you alone for a few hours and this is what happens." She fought to urge to make a really snitty comment. "Fine, fine. For the sake of the timeline, go find Buffy." she said sullenly.
"So, we're okay with what we have to do, right?" he said cautiously. Cordy didn't reply immediately as she looked onto the street.
"Yeah, sure." she said, trying to fake indifference. It wasn't fooling Angel, but he forced himself not to brood over it.
"Good, then I'll see you tomorrow." he paused, waiting for her response.
"Yeah, whatever." she waved her hand dismissively. Abruptly, she opened her front door, went in and closed it without saying another word.
Angel looked back at her closed door before disappearing into the darkness. "Good night," he said softly before swiftly making his way to the house Buffy shared with her mother.
Inside the Chase Sunnydale home, November 19, 1998
Cordy entered her front foyer, fuming over Angel's hypocrisy. One minute, he was saying that they shouldn't do anything to derail the past timeline and the next, he was ready to hop over the fence and run right back to his darling slayer, be damned the consequences.
'Smoothing it over with Buffy.' she thought. 'Like I can't see through his reasons!'
'But Buffy thinks that he's into you now.' a little voice reminded her. 'If he doesn't convince her otherwise tonight, everything will change.'
'Right, as if she could ever believe that he would be interested in me,' she thought angrily. 'Oh, what's the point in getting all upset? He's seeing her. So what? He knows he can't do anything without risking becoming Angelus again. He won't do that, not even for one night with his true love.'
'Why are you upset then?' the little voice asked her.
'I'm not!' she replied to herself. She laughed humourlessly and said out loud, "How lame is this? I'm having conversations with myself." With horror, she realized something else, "I'm brooding!!"
"Cordelia?" a high female voice stopped her in her tracks. She turned and noticed the only dimly lit room in the house.
"Mom?" she asked, with dread. Peering into her room, her heart sank. Two grim looking people sat in the decidedly male study with wooden panel walls and mahogany furniture. "Dad."
"Come in, dear." her mom cooed in her false 'I'm the cream of upper society' voice. Her father observed her in grumpy silence.
"What's up?" Cordy automatically smiled happily, feeling like her face would crack from the pressure. "You're home early."
"You're home late." her father replied gruffily. "Who was that boy you were with out front? We haven't seen him around here before." Cordy was at a loss for words as her father said, "I don't like the way he looks."
"It's just that he looks so much older than you." her mother jumped in. "Although, I remember quite fondly how I used to like older boys when I was your age. I only dated college boys, never boys in high school."
Cordy gulped, "He's a friend, a friend of a friend, actually. He's kind of seeing some other girl."
"So he's cheating around with you?" her father asked her directly. Cordy squirmed under the microscope.
"No! I- uh- we're really just friends, Daddy." she stuttered. 'Why do they always make me feel like a silly third-grader?' To her surprise, her mother came to her rescue.
"Don't mind Daddy tonight. We had a meeting with the accountants and investors, dear. I missed my weekly bingo night to go with him." her mother explained in her sugar-coated voice.
"Oh." Cordy suddenly remembered this night. Her legs felt like they would give way as she also remembered the long conversation she had to have. "Oh."
"Come sit and chat." her mom chirped brightly. She patted the chair beside her. "You can sit next to me."
Cordy complied, sinking into profferred chair. Her already foul mood sank with her. "What should we chat about?"
Her mother opened her mouth again as her father interrupted, "Your expenses this month. And last month" He glared at her as she suppressed a pained whimper, "We're going through them line-by-line."
The Hyperion, January 23, 2002
Fred put down the heavy book she was reading, and rubbed her eyes. She'd forgotten to put on her reading glasses and now she was getting really tired reading the fine print. Looking over at the slightly grizzled ex-Watcher, she said, "I'm going for a break." Wesley looked up and smiled in understanding before returning to his own reading.
Making her way to the lobby, she peeked in at Angel, still hiding in the shadows. There was no other word to describe what he was doing, except loitering, and seeing his unsmiling expression, wondered how miserable his life used to be. As she stepped towards him, she noticed him retreating into a dark corner. Changing her mind, she headed up the stairs.
Passing by Connor's room, she peered in to see Lorne holding the baby and crooning a gentle lullaby. She smiled at the funny sight and proceeded towards the next room with the open door.
Cordelia was in the next one. She was positioned in front of her mirror, furiously brushing her hair. Fred paused in the doorway and wondered at how easily Cordelia had accepted their explanations of everything that had happened and of the consciousness switching. Then again, Cordelia was never one to dwell on the impossibility of these types of things. She was always more of a 'let's accept this and make the best of it' person.
Sensing Fred's presence behind her, Cordelia turned. "I look so tired and I've got wrinkles! And have you seen my hair?" she demanded. "I've never had a bad hair day before!"
"It doesn't look that bad," Fred offered, trying to console her.
"Well, it's not like you would know any different." Cordelia sniffed at her, as she stared at the simple way Fred wore her hair. "A good hair dryer and hair spray obviously doesn't rank high on your list."
"It's pretty close to how it always looks." Fred said desperately to make the other brunette feel better, despite her own feelings being hurt. That, apparently, was the last thing Cordelia wanted to hear.
"This is how I always look?" Cordelia shrieked, horrified. Turning back to the mirror again, she brushed her hair frantically. "What has the future done to me?"
Fred backed away from the room, not knowing how to answer, much less communicate with this Cordelia. Quickly, she went to her room and retrieved her glasses. Coming down the stairs again, she noticed Lorne trying to give Connor to Angel.
"Come on, angelcakes. He's only a little tike. He won't bite." Lorne pleaded. Angel darted away to another corner.
"I'll take him," Fred said, slipping on her glasses. Lorne handed the baby to her.
Cordelia came down the stairs at that moment. She had changed into a red, sparkly top and black pants, an outfit she had found hanging in her closet with a dry-cleaning bill attached to it. Her hair was pulled back by tiny barrettes that sparkled under the chandelier lights.
Lorne whistled, "Looking good hon." Cordelia ignored him. He went to Angel and nudged his elbow, "Doesn't she?" Angel took another step back in annoyance. Shrugging, Lorne made his way to Fred and Connor. "Not too talkative, are they?"
"They look so lost. It seems so hard for them to adjust to all this." Fred looked at Angel, "I don't understand why he so different."
"Apparently someone's still hung up on a blonde ex-cheerleader," Lorne grinned. "Guess we shouldn't be talking about kyerumption or moira around him anytime soon, huh?"
"He doesn't seem to care that she's around." Fred focused her sights on Cordelia. Since she had come down the stairs, Cordelia had been glancing at the hidden vampire with both relief and annoyance, as if she was happy to not be alone and frustrated that she felt that way. "They don't seem very close yet. I guess going to another place, living there for a few years, really changes people." Fred looked down, a little sadly, "Pylea changed me."
Lorne looked at the lithe girl beside her. "Living in Pylea would change anyone," he said gently. "You survived in a demon dimension that doesn't regard human peasants very highly. That's bound to leave a few scars."
"Yeah," she said, unwilling to dwell on her past. "At least Angel and Cordelia have each other. They're just so uncomfortable around each other. It's like they hardly know each other, almost like strangers," she finished, puzzled. Uncharacteristically, Lorne only responded with a shrug.
Jostling Connor in her arms a bit, she headed back to Wesley's dimly lit office. Pausing in the doorway, she asked Wesley, "Did you find a spell yet?"
Wesley caught his breath as he regarded the Fred holding Connor. Framed in the entrance, the light from the lobby filtered in around her, making her and the baby glow before him. Forcing his chest to steady from the breathtaking sight, he softly replied, "Not yet. They are so many spells out there concerning body switches and time travel, but it's hard to narrow it down to the right one. I'm not sure we'll find the answer tonight."
Fred made her way closer to the desk. "Maybe we should get reinforcements," she suggested. "Angel seems so displaced here and Cordy looks like she needs some cheering up. Should we call Buffy?"
Wesley smiled at Fred's concern. "It's very sweet that you're trying to consider their feelings. It's just that I don't want to involve Buffy and all her friends. Especially, with Angel and Cordy being from the past. It could get very complicated." He leaned back thoughtfully, "Although, your first suggestion is quite valid. Maybe we do need another opinion." He reached for the phone. "Giles, Buffy's watcher, would be an excellent reference. He might have some insight into this."
Fred smiled broadly, delighted that she had contributed. Wesley looked into his phone book and dialed up the number to The Magic Box shop.
"Giles?" he asked, when someone picked up on the other end.
"Uh, no, it's Willow." the witch answered. "Giles isn't here."
"Where is he?" Wesley asked curiously, "I need his help. It's a bit of an emergency."
"Giles went back to England a few days ago," Willow said sadly. "He hasn't told us yet how to reach him. I think he might be touring around a bit."
"Oh," Wesley said, disappointed. Suddenly, Willow jumped in.
"Maybe I can help?" she asked hopefully. "I could come to L.A." she offered hesitantly.
Wesley paused, "It can't hurt." He mustered a little more enthusiasm, "We'd be happy for the help."
"Great." Willow replied, a little excitedly. "I'll be there first thing in the morning."
Outside the Summers home, November 19, 1998
Meanwhile, Angel had made his way to Buffy's window. Through the partially open window, he could see her lying on her bed. Her light was off, but the moon shone in to brighten her room with a bluish glow. Shadows danced on her marble skin as her chest rose and fell with an easy rhythm. Her lashes were long and feathery, her lips moist and supple. A breath caught in his throat.
Deja vu was the only feeling he had at that moment as he recalled the countless times he had climbed up to her window to sneak into her room and steal fervent kisses. For a moment, he remembered the feelings he would have on those nights; the blood boiling through his cold veins, the all-consuming passion for Buffy. She used to be his one true love, his first love. He used to think that he would never love another person that way. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts behind him as he surveyed the situation. He knew that he was no longer invited into her house, so he stayed outside, rapping on the window frame.
Buffy sprang up immediately, but upon seeing him, frowned and crossed her arms. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to explain about earlier."
"So explain." Buffy pouted.
Grateful, Angel said, "It's not what you think about Cordelia."
"And what exactly am I supposed to be thinking?" she asked, somewhat angrily. It was then that he noticed her tear-stained face. His heart uncontrollably went out to her.
"Nothing." As she opened her mouth, he added quickly. "It was nothing. Just Faith trying to stir up trouble and Cordelia picking it up to egg you on." He patiently waited as Buffy closed her mouth and mulled his explanation. 'That's kind of how it went,' he thought to himself.
I'm glad." Buffy finally said, sounding like she believed him. Angel sighed inwardly with relief. She laughed, shakily. "I should have known that I was being silly. I can't believe I ran away now." She looked embarrassed. "I was just so shocked and sad... I mean, we're not together anymore but I didn't know what to think."
Feeling the sudden, instinctive urge to comfort her, Angel made a move closer to her window, and was startled when he couldn't get through.
'Oh, yeah, the uninvitation spell,' he remembered. Mentally kicking himself for losing focus and forgetting who he was, he looked back at Buffy's face.
"The spell," she said, realizing herself why he had stopped suddenly. "Do you want to come in?"
Angel felt temptation pull at him. Then, he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be invited in yet. "I better not," he told her, after a brief pause. Unable to stop himself, he looked longingly at the beautiful slayer just inches and an invitation away from his grasp.
"Yeah. You better not," she echoed quietly.
"I should go." With great effort, Angel pushed himself off the window sill and onto the ground. He didn't glance back as he ran across her lawn back into the enveloping night.
He didn't stop running until he got to Sunnydale High. Pausing before heading into his last stop that night, he looked up at the moon shining down on him. Buffy looked so young and vulnerable tonight. 'I've forgotten how much I miss her.' As he entered the school, still soaking in the moon's beams, he continued to muse over the blonde slayer that he used to be in love with.
Unbeknownst to him, Faith spied him across the street. As she watched him break into the high school, she thought to herself, 'I'm going to find out what you're really up to.'
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Disclaimers: I'm only writing for amusement and because I'm such a fan! Angel and co. aren't mine.
(c) May 5, 2002