Title: That's it?
Author: myobsession
Warnings: weird-ness, angst, boy/boy (slash, yaoi) violence, language.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I DO wish I owned Tom Felton. MMMmmm.
"Malfoy you son of a bitch, go to hell, do us all a favor."
I'm already in hell thank you very much.
"Sure Potter, see you there."
There was always something about you. Even to the world.
You are the Boy Who Lived. Yet someone like you, was trying to save me…
Underneath all the contempt, malice, this ridiculous hate. You wanted to…save me.
From what?
Myself.
I know why you hated me.
You needed someone to blame, someone to blame for your parents death and with theirs yours as well. For you have no real life. No loving family, no loving home. You are targeted for death, marked, just like me. Only mine is a physical mark, only I'm branded for death, to death himself.
"Draco…."
Stop doing this to me.
"Fuck. Off."
"I'm sorry Draco I really am."
No you're not
"Tell it to someone who cares."
"Draco you need to fight this, fight them, your father, all of them!"
I would if I could.
"Do you think you would be able to?"
You don't know what it's like. What it's like to be hated, what it's like to be worthless, wretched. Nobody cares about me. You don't know what it's like the have this mark. It's shameful.
//I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I don't listen anyway…
You ignore me,
And I'll never be what you want me to be.//
"Without a moment's hesitation."
You say that. But you don't know. I'm not like you.
"I'm not like you. I have nothing to fight FOR. Nothing is worth the risk. Nothing."
You have tears in your eyes. You cry for me?
"I understand you Draco."
STOP CALLING ME THAT!
"You can do this, you really can. You're the strongest willed man I've ever met. You owe this to yourself."
"Potter you can shove your pretty little lies up your ass."
I love it when you gape. You look so vulnerable.
"So who wrote the script? Granger? Or perhaps the Weasel?"
//And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, not a man.
You can take me and throw me away.//
"Nobody…"
"What?" It's been a long time since we've spoken.
"Nobody wrote a fucking script."
Leave me alone.
"Since when did you start to care?"
"I don't…"
I know
"I really want to help you."
"You are…." I start to say. I think your face lit up.
"The first and only."
You look confused.
"That's not true."
//And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here all alone.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.//
"You're lucky."
Don't be sad.
"You have a family…"
I don't say anything.
"No. No I don't."
Don't pity me. Don't try and understand me.
"What are you talking about?"
"I have no father. I have no mother. No siblings, no grandparents."
You shake your head. Your hair flies into your pretty eyes.
"But you do."
I shrug.
"Not really. Parents are things that love you and care for you unconditionally. I have NONE of that" I spat in your face.
"Yeah well I guess that's another thing we have in common."
I don't want to have anything in common with you! Can't you see that?
"Potter…" I sigh "Just leave me alone! Please!"
"Why?"
That takes me off guard.
"Why are you even trying to help in the first place? THAT'S a more logical question."
"Why do you push everyone away?"
STOP TRYING TO FIGURE ME OUT!
"STOP TRYING TO FIGURE ME OUT, POTTER!"
"Why do you care?"
"I don't."
"Then let me…" you breathe before you descend your sweet, soft mouth on mine, curling your fingers around my neck.
//And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.
The don't know me,
'Cause I'm not here.//
"I'm scared." I say, curled up in your arms. Closet space can be very tight. I love ditching class with you.
"I know…So am I."
I love the way you like to trail your finger tips along my cheek and my neck.
It's soothing.
"No…I mean…You asked me before."
You get a cute confused look on your face. I love everything about you.
"Asked you what?"
"Why I pushed everyone away."
There is a moments pause and you reply with a curt,
"I know."
I chuckle. I love you.
"How is it you know everything?"
You smile, this smug grin plastered over your face.
"I just do."
You're arms feel so warm…
//And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can break me
As long as I know who I am//
"Draco…" you said will sparkling tears rolling down your face.
"Is this what It's come to?" you ask with a shaky sob.
I nod. It's all I can do right now.
I never thought…I'd see the day…Harry Potter loses…
//And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.
They can't see me,
But I'm still here.//
An ear shattering scream escapes your swollen cherry red lips.
"Why are you letting them do this Draco…"
My father takes another step towards you and I don't answer.
"You…little brat…are going to die for the sins you've committed against me and my family."
You shake your head.
"No. You are." you say defiantly.
My father raises his wand. It will be over soon.
Soon…
//They can't tell me who to be,
'Cause I'm not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin',
While I keep on dreamin' for me.
And their words are just whispers,
And lies that I'll never believe.//
You know it. You see it coming. Right before, you open your beautiful lips and mouth the words 'I love you.'
I know…
//And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.//
Dumbledore brushes the debris off your back. I knew they would come. How could they not?
"Are you alright Harry?" he asked you.
Poor old man…
You shake your head with a "No."
"-Can I speak with him a moment, Headmaster." The words stumble out of my mouth before I can catch them.
The old man glares at me and nods suspiciously.
Fuck you too!
"Did you mean it?" I ask apprehensively.
You nod.
"W-w-…" I can't seem to form the words.
"Why?" I spill out.
"Didn't you know?" you ask, as if hurt. You probably are.
"Know?"
What?
"Every time I touched you, or kissed you, or made love. You never…you never knew?"
"I-…." there's nothing left to say angel.
You know it too…
You turn away, headed for the door.
It's my last chance.
//I'm the one now,
'Cause I'm still here.//
"I loved you too, you know." I choked out.
You nod.
"Sure Malfoy…"
No Draco?
"Bye." You whisper in my ear, sending shivers to roam my body.
No hugs?
No kisses?
No warm arms?
No…more Draco?
NO!
"Bye." I say
That's it I guess.
//I'm the one,
'Cause I'm still here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.//
That's it…?
A/N: I wrote this a looong time ago. Decided to post it for god knows what reason. Tell me what you think. If you're confused…well you're not the only one. Johnny Rzeznik I'm Sill Here is the song.