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(AN: Howdy folks!! Well Thanks for reviewing! I have 43 reviews now! Thanks so much to everybody! Koolkitty (and everyone else who notices my pathetic grammar mistakes), just so you know, I am very picky about grammar and spelling when I have time. People who misuse grammar annoy me. Hopefully my fic isn't doing that to anyone! I don't have a beta reader, and I haven't even been proofreading these chaps cause I've been in a hurry to get them up. Well, I'll be more careful and one of these days when I have gobs of time, I'll sit down and edit them word for word. (
One other thing, in the Letters chapter, I made a comment about French people. I don't want anyone to think I was trying to degrade France or French people. That wasn't about French people really, its just a foreigners (in this case Lily, not me) way of stereotyping them. Or something like that. She was agravated. Anyway, I'm a quarter French, so don't take it that personally. Sorry. Also sorry if I got the word for chicken wrong.
Oh! The tattoos were kind of a spur of the moment idea. I was planning on Bella just saying that, but I got ahead of myself. I don't know if I like it or not. I may change it around at some point.
I have a feeling this will be one of my hardest chapters to write!)
Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
Chapter 6
Innocent Deceptions
Finding out the Truth
Fletcher sat down at the Ravenclaw table beside Lily and Amos. Both were lost in their thoughts. Fletcher looked with pity at Amos. To have heard Lily say that she loved someone else would cause Amos to brood and spend even more time thinking about the girl who he often referred to as 'his angel'. It would be hard for him, Fletcher knew that. Sighing again, he turned to Lily. He couldn't abandon his long time childhood friend even now, when Amos needed him too.
"Lily," He leaned over and whispered. "Lily, don't worry. Just tell him soon. He'll understand." Fletcher's voice caught and he stopped reassuring her. How would Professor Potter react? He didn't know. He might understand, but he might—probably—wouldn't.
Lily smiled; she pulled her eyes away from the high table and pulled her head into the shadows. Just in case James decided to look around. "I know, Fletcher. I know I need to tell him. And I will."
Bella tapped her arm to get her attention. "Gosh, the Sorting is so much more boring than it used to be!" She shrugged. "They should let us eat while we sit here."
Lily laughed quietly and clapped politely as a First year walked shyly over to their table. "Very true."
Bella leaned back in her chair and left Lily to her own thoughts. With very little patience, they sat through the entire sorting. Finally, it was over. After stuffing themselves to the brim and singing the school song, they were dismissed. The teachers left first and then the students were led away Lily and Amos stayed in their seats.
"Amos?" Lily asked quietly. "Should we go to the headmaster's office now?"
Amos nodded darkly. "Sure."
Lily let the conversation fall into silence sensing his reluctance to speak.
They neared the gargoyle and Amos whispered, "Butter toffee." A passageway was revealed and they made their way up the winding staircase.
Dumbledore smiled at the two students who walked in. "Please, sit down." He indicated two chairs in front of his desk.
Lily and Amos smiled and took a seat. Amos cleared his throat. "Professor? May I ask why we are here?"
Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Of course. This year the Heads will be in charge of planning a few balls. Of course, the Yule Ball will be one of them, but you may also have up to three others as well."
Lily and Amos shared an excited glance. "That's great, Professor!" Lily said in an excited but controlled voice.
"I'm glad you like my idea, Patience. Amos, are you comfortable with this plan?"
Amos nodded. "Of course!" Anything that was about him spending time with Lily was definitely an 'of course'.
Professor Dumbledore nodded absentmindedly. "As you probably already know, you two will be expected to open each ball."
They both nodded and Dumbledore sat down. "Now both of you are free to go. Good luck. Let me know if you have any problems."
~*~
As usual Lily was up at the crack of dawn the next morning. Also as usual, she got the first shower and was already dressed when the first sounds of life erupted from her roommates' beds.
Once all of them were ready, they headed down to breakfast. Sarah Prewett, one of Lily's closest friends, remarked as she looked up at the High table. "Look at the Transfiguration professor! Yum yum!"
Lily stiffened visibly but nodded. Bella glanced at her and was about to speak--
"He's definitely a looker." Kirsten Myers said snidely as she walked by on her way to the Slytherin table. "Too bad none he would never even look at one of you."
Lily rolled her eyes but refrained from comment as Kirsten walked off. James, why can't you be a few years younger? Why couldn't I have just been honest?
Bella lightly smacked the back of her head. "Stop it. You can't change the past."
Lily nodded. "Yes…you're right."
At that moment, Professor Dumbledore walked up behind them. "Patience, I regret to inform you that you will have to attend Transfiguration this year. You may still take an Advanced Charms class, but it would have to be extra."
Lily had paled visibly, but she managed to squeak out a small 'yes, I'll think about it.'
~*~
After their first few classes, Lily had realized this year would not be so easy. Already she had a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and homework in Potions. Transfiguration was next and after her day, she didn't think she was up to it at all.
"Bella," She said as they walked towards the classroom, "I don't feel very well. I'm going up to the dorm." Chicken, she thought angrily, you are too afraid to face him.
Bella's eyes widened. Lily had never missed a single class. It just wasn't like her. "Lily, stop it. You have to face him! He's your teacher!"
Lily turned away from her and started walking off. "Fine!" Bella called. "Just fine!"
As Bella sat down, Professor Potter began calling roll. "Abigail Adams?"
"Here."
"Betsy Castry?"
"Present." The Hufflepuff smiled flirtatiously and waved at him.
He continued down the list until he reached Lily's name. "Patience Evans?"
No one answered. Bella sat there quietly. Lily needed to deal with her own problems, she thought stubbornly. Running away from them didn't help her.
"Please tell her to report to my office later," He said as he glanced back down at his list of names.
Bella stiffened. Oh no. That was not good. Not good at all.
"Arabella Figg."
"Here." She muttered sinking lower into her seat.
Oh god, Bella thought as Fletcher glanced her way, with a worried expression on his face. What have I done?
~*~
Bella ran into the dorm gasping. "Lily, I'm so sorry. You have to report to his office."
"Whose office?" Lily asked in confusion, looking up from her book.
"James's." Bella said.
Lily's face dropped. "Now?" She squared her shoulders. "I guess I have to face him some time. Might as well be now."
~*~
Lily knocked slowly on his door. "Come in," He called.
She opened the door and he looked at her, his face alighting in a smile. "Lily? What are you doing here?" He got up and moved to kiss her, but her facial expression stopped him. "What's wrong? What happened?"
James hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. Now the object of his musings was standing there, looking like an angel. She also looked like she was in the depths of despair. He frowned. She should never be unhappy.
Lily met his eyes and he took in a breath as he saw that her eyes were filled with worry. "Patience," she whispered.
"What?" He asked in bewilderment. "Be patient?"
She shook her head. Sweet James. Just understand. Understand why. Understand please. "Patience. I am Patience Lillian Evans. Head girl."
James looked at her in obvious shock. "You can't mean that." He said flatly. "Its impossible."
"No James," She whispered her pain-filled eyes meeting his. "Its entirely possible."
"You lied to me? You've been lying to me the entire time?" He couldn't believe she had done this. "You can't be 17. It's impossible dammit!" She had probably been showing off her 'older boyfriend' to her friends, telling them in a triumphant voice that he loved her.
"James, James, you have to understand. I couldn't tell you. If you had known, you would have—"
He cut her off again. "Would have known what? Fuck Lily! That you had been playing with me the entire time?"
Lily's eyes widened with obvious shock. "No! I wasn't playing with you! I love you, James!"
He stared at her, their eyes met and images flashed between them. Dancing at the club, eating at the café, their long walks, Lily meeting Sirius, Cheesecake, and letters. All of these things passed between them. James broke their look. "You will address me as Professor Potter. I don't even know you, Patience. Goodbye."
He turned away from her and placed his cold brown eyes on the opposite wall.
"Goodbye." Lily whispered, her tears already streaming down her face. Her green eyes glowing with an unearthly light, she ran from the room.
~*~
He picked up a picture frame and threw it against the wall. A lie. It was all a lie! She looked at me with a straight face and lied her ass off. And I didn't even know. The best month of my life, my first real love was all a fucking lie. Was it all a fucking lie?
~*~
Lily walked into her dorm sobbing. Bella jumped up quickly and put her arms around her. "What happened, Lily?"
Lily managed to stutter between her tears, "He said goodbye Patience. He couldn't even call me Lily!" She shook off Bella's arm and crawled into her bed, oblivious to the stares she was receiving from her dormmates. He said it was a lie, damn him. He couldn't even give her a chance to explain. Didn't he get it? Did she mean that little to him? That he could just cut her off and say he didn't want to hear it?
~*~
At the same time, they both thought, Apparently so.
((Sniff. That didn't turn out right. Oh well. It was very hard to write. I couldn't decide how to get them to meet, but this works. Its so sad though….hahaha oh well. Tell me what you think!)
(By the way, I agree that my summary sucks! If anyone could help me out a bit, I'd be so thankful! Just send me your ideas at starberrybeth@hotmail.com or just leave it in a review!)
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Review!
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(AN: Howdy folks!! Well Thanks for reviewing! I have 43 reviews now! Thanks so much to everybody! Koolkitty (and everyone else who notices my pathetic grammar mistakes), just so you know, I am very picky about grammar and spelling when I have time. People who misuse grammar annoy me. Hopefully my fic isn't doing that to anyone! I don't have a beta reader, and I haven't even been proofreading these chaps cause I've been in a hurry to get them up. Well, I'll be more careful and one of these days when I have gobs of time, I'll sit down and edit them word for word. (
One other thing, in the Letters chapter, I made a comment about French people. I don't want anyone to think I was trying to degrade France or French people. That wasn't about French people really, its just a foreigners (in this case Lily, not me) way of stereotyping them. Or something like that. She was agravated. Anyway, I'm a quarter French, so don't take it that personally. Sorry. Also sorry if I got the word for chicken wrong.
Oh! The tattoos were kind of a spur of the moment idea. I was planning on Bella just saying that, but I got ahead of myself. I don't know if I like it or not. I may change it around at some point.
I have a feeling this will be one of my hardest chapters to write!)
Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
Chapter 6
Innocent Deceptions
Finding out the Truth
Fletcher sat down at the Ravenclaw table beside Lily and Amos. Both were lost in their thoughts. Fletcher looked with pity at Amos. To have heard Lily say that she loved someone else would cause Amos to brood and spend even more time thinking about the girl who he often referred to as 'his angel'. It would be hard for him, Fletcher knew that. Sighing again, he turned to Lily. He couldn't abandon his long time childhood friend even now, when Amos needed him too.
"Lily," He leaned over and whispered. "Lily, don't worry. Just tell him soon. He'll understand." Fletcher's voice caught and he stopped reassuring her. How would Professor Potter react? He didn't know. He might understand, but he might—probably—wouldn't.
Lily smiled; she pulled her eyes away from the high table and pulled her head into the shadows. Just in case James decided to look around. "I know, Fletcher. I know I need to tell him. And I will."
Bella tapped her arm to get her attention. "Gosh, the Sorting is so much more boring than it used to be!" She shrugged. "They should let us eat while we sit here."
Lily laughed quietly and clapped politely as a First year walked shyly over to their table. "Very true."
Bella leaned back in her chair and left Lily to her own thoughts. With very little patience, they sat through the entire sorting. Finally, it was over. After stuffing themselves to the brim and singing the school song, they were dismissed. The teachers left first and then the students were led away Lily and Amos stayed in their seats.
"Amos?" Lily asked quietly. "Should we go to the headmaster's office now?"
Amos nodded darkly. "Sure."
Lily let the conversation fall into silence sensing his reluctance to speak.
They neared the gargoyle and Amos whispered, "Butter toffee." A passageway was revealed and they made their way up the winding staircase.
Dumbledore smiled at the two students who walked in. "Please, sit down." He indicated two chairs in front of his desk.
Lily and Amos smiled and took a seat. Amos cleared his throat. "Professor? May I ask why we are here?"
Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Of course. This year the Heads will be in charge of planning a few balls. Of course, the Yule Ball will be one of them, but you may also have up to three others as well."
Lily and Amos shared an excited glance. "That's great, Professor!" Lily said in an excited but controlled voice.
"I'm glad you like my idea, Patience. Amos, are you comfortable with this plan?"
Amos nodded. "Of course!" Anything that was about him spending time with Lily was definitely an 'of course'.
Professor Dumbledore nodded absentmindedly. "As you probably already know, you two will be expected to open each ball."
They both nodded and Dumbledore sat down. "Now both of you are free to go. Good luck. Let me know if you have any problems."
~*~
As usual Lily was up at the crack of dawn the next morning. Also as usual, she got the first shower and was already dressed when the first sounds of life erupted from her roommates' beds.
Once all of them were ready, they headed down to breakfast. Sarah Prewett, one of Lily's closest friends, remarked as she looked up at the High table. "Look at the Transfiguration professor! Yum yum!"
Lily stiffened visibly but nodded. Bella glanced at her and was about to speak--
"He's definitely a looker." Kirsten Myers said snidely as she walked by on her way to the Slytherin table. "Too bad none he would never even look at one of you."
Lily rolled her eyes but refrained from comment as Kirsten walked off. James, why can't you be a few years younger? Why couldn't I have just been honest?
Bella lightly smacked the back of her head. "Stop it. You can't change the past."
Lily nodded. "Yes…you're right."
At that moment, Professor Dumbledore walked up behind them. "Patience, I regret to inform you that you will have to attend Transfiguration this year. You may still take an Advanced Charms class, but it would have to be extra."
Lily had paled visibly, but she managed to squeak out a small 'yes, I'll think about it.'
~*~
After their first few classes, Lily had realized this year would not be so easy. Already she had a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and homework in Potions. Transfiguration was next and after her day, she didn't think she was up to it at all.
"Bella," She said as they walked towards the classroom, "I don't feel very well. I'm going up to the dorm." Chicken, she thought angrily, you are too afraid to face him.
Bella's eyes widened. Lily had never missed a single class. It just wasn't like her. "Lily, stop it. You have to face him! He's your teacher!"
Lily turned away from her and started walking off. "Fine!" Bella called. "Just fine!"
As Bella sat down, Professor Potter began calling roll. "Abigail Adams?"
"Here."
"Betsy Castry?"
"Present." The Hufflepuff smiled flirtatiously and waved at him.
He continued down the list until he reached Lily's name. "Patience Evans?"
No one answered. Bella sat there quietly. Lily needed to deal with her own problems, she thought stubbornly. Running away from them didn't help her.
"Please tell her to report to my office later," He said as he glanced back down at his list of names.
Bella stiffened. Oh no. That was not good. Not good at all.
"Arabella Figg."
"Here." She muttered sinking lower into her seat.
Oh god, Bella thought as Fletcher glanced her way, with a worried expression on his face. What have I done?
~*~
Bella ran into the dorm gasping. "Lily, I'm so sorry. You have to report to his office."
"Whose office?" Lily asked in confusion, looking up from her book.
"James's." Bella said.
Lily's face dropped. "Now?" She squared her shoulders. "I guess I have to face him some time. Might as well be now."
~*~
Lily knocked slowly on his door. "Come in," He called.
She opened the door and he looked at her, his face alighting in a smile. "Lily? What are you doing here?" He got up and moved to kiss her, but her facial expression stopped him. "What's wrong? What happened?"
James hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. Now the object of his musings was standing there, looking like an angel. She also looked like she was in the depths of despair. He frowned. She should never be unhappy.
Lily met his eyes and he took in a breath as he saw that her eyes were filled with worry. "Patience," she whispered.
"What?" He asked in bewilderment. "Be patient?"
She shook her head. Sweet James. Just understand. Understand why. Understand please. "Patience. I am Patience Lillian Evans. Head girl."
James looked at her in obvious shock. "You can't mean that." He said flatly. "Its impossible."
"No James," She whispered her pain-filled eyes meeting his. "Its entirely possible."
"You lied to me? You've been lying to me the entire time?" He couldn't believe she had done this. "You can't be 17. It's impossible dammit!" She had probably been showing off her 'older boyfriend' to her friends, telling them in a triumphant voice that he loved her.
"James, James, you have to understand. I couldn't tell you. If you had known, you would have—"
He cut her off again. "Would have known what? Fuck Lily! That you had been playing with me the entire time?"
Lily's eyes widened with obvious shock. "No! I wasn't playing with you! I love you, James!"
He stared at her, their eyes met and images flashed between them. Dancing at the club, eating at the café, their long walks, Lily meeting Sirius, Cheesecake, and letters. All of these things passed between them. James broke their look. "You will address me as Professor Potter. I don't even know you, Patience. Goodbye."
He turned away from her and placed his cold brown eyes on the opposite wall.
"Goodbye." Lily whispered, her tears already streaming down her face. Her green eyes glowing with an unearthly light, she ran from the room.
~*~
He picked up a picture frame and threw it against the wall. A lie. It was all a lie! She looked at me with a straight face and lied her ass off. And I didn't even know. The best month of my life, my first real love was all a fucking lie. Was it all a fucking lie?
~*~
Lily walked into her dorm sobbing. Bella jumped up quickly and put her arms around her. "What happened, Lily?"
Lily managed to stutter between her tears, "He said goodbye Patience. He couldn't even call me Lily!" She shook off Bella's arm and crawled into her bed, oblivious to the stares she was receiving from her dormmates. He said it was a lie, damn him. He couldn't even give her a chance to explain. Didn't he get it? Did she mean that little to him? That he could just cut her off and say he didn't want to hear it?
~*~
At the same time, they both thought, Apparently so.
((Sniff. That didn't turn out right. Oh well. It was very hard to write. I couldn't decide how to get them to meet, but this works. Its so sad though….hahaha oh well. Tell me what you think!)
(By the way, I agree that my summary sucks! If anyone could help me out a bit, I'd be so thankful! Just send me your ideas at starberrybeth@hotmail.com or just leave it in a review!)
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Review!