A/N: Please keep the reviews coming! I'm a feedback hog. :) Mucho gratitude!!!
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters or the setting. But these stories are 100% mine. Seriously, please don't sue! I'm just a fan!
Chapter 3
(c) May 15, 2002
"Nice pad." Xander comments, as we walk into the door of my apartment. Dennis immediately turns on the lights.
"Thanks, Dennis." I say absentmindedly as he takes my coat from me.
"What the--?" Xander asks curiously. He's gaping at the coat floating into my bedroom.
"Oh, guess I forgot to introduce you to Dennis. He's my roommate." I gesture for Dennis to come back out, "Dennis, meet Xander."
Xander's still speechless. "Uh--"
"He's a ghost." I explain to him. A cool breeze whizzes past me. "Dennis, stop being rude," I scold. Dennis is a great phantom and all, but he has something against guys I bring into our home. "Sorry," I apologize to Xander, "It took him a while to get used to Wesley and Gunn when he first met them too. Hopefully he warms up to you faster than he did to Angel."
That did it. Dennis came back with a kitchen knife.
"No! Down, Dennis!" I'm exasperated as I grab at the handle. "He's not going to duel you the way Angel does. Besides, he could get hurt."
"Hey!" Xander exclaims. "I've gotten good at the whole saving the world thing."
I turn to him, considering stroking his ego. Then I remember what he did to Anya and let out a laugh. Okay, maybe it was for me too. Admittedly, it was a little malicious.
Well, I'm no Saint.
"Dennis, put down the knife." I say firmly. The knife floats back into the kitchen. Almost immediately, two foaming mugs of hot chocolate float out.
Xander is impressed. "Where did you find him?"
"Actually, he came with the house," I grin. "Cleanest roommate ever." I blow a kiss to Dennis. A cool wet breeze touches my cheek. "So," I say to Xander as I grab one of the mugs and flop down on my couch. "Spill the details."
Xander grabs for the other mug. Playfully, it sails out of his grasp. He tries a second time but it moves away from him again.
"Dennis..." I say warningly. Xander finally gets hold of his hot chocolate. Gingerly, he sits down.
"So, he likes Angel?" Xander is a little bitter.
I smirk. "Actually..."
Xander shakes his head and takes a sip. "It's good."
"I still don't know what you want me to help you with," I remind him.
Xander blows out his breath. "It's kind of a lot to ask-- uh..."
I roll my eyes, "Spit it out Xander."
"I need your forgiveness."
I raise my eyebrows. "You," I point at him. "came all this way to hear me," I point to my chest. "say 'I forgive you'?"
Xander shrugs and can't look at me.
"You got it." I say quickly.
Xander looks surprised, "You didn't even think about it."
"Yeah, well, when you've had the last three years that I've had..."
"What happened?" Xander frowns and leans forward in interest.
"Oh, not much. Just battled a few dozen demons and scummy lawyers, dealt with a few prophecies, acquired some visions, jumped into a demon dimension, nearly died a few hundred times, and became demonized." I tick off each item nonchalently.
Xander looks stunned. "Oh. Sorry." Suddenly, he jumps up, "Oh, man. I should have called. I shouldn't have come here."
I'm confused, "What did I say?"
"I didn't know how bad you had it."
I'm on my feet now, "Bad? I don't have it bad."
Xander backs up, "Okay, bad way of phrasing that." He winces.
I glare at him, "That's it."
Xander's eyes dart from side-to-side. The door is just too far for him to make a run for. There's no escape for him and he knows it.
I'm not letting him off that easy. "You're staying here until I know what you did to Anya."
Literally gulping, Xander sits back onto the couch. "I told you. I was a jerk."
I put my hands on my hips, "I want to know why."
He hangs his head, "What's to know? I didn't want to get married."
"You don't love her?"
"I do. I still do."
I'm confused, "But you don't want to marry her now?"
"Yes. No. I don't know."
"So, it's just cold feet." He's looking pretty nervous again. I can't help drilling into him. "What, can't handle a little commitment?"
Xander's looking pretty ashamed now, "I guess I can't."
I sigh. "You're not the only one."
Xander brightens up, "Story?"
"No." I tell him shortly. He doesn't pursue it. I'm feeling pretty forgiving again, "I think we need to catch up."
*** Four hours later ***
You know how it is when you get together with this really old friend that you haven't talked to for, like, ages? And from the moment you start talking, it's like you were never apart? Well, Xander and I were never like best buds. We were more likely to be making out than chatting.
But whaddya know? We're talking it up like the last four years of yesterdays never happened. I was lying on my couch, my head on a cushion. Xander was on the floor, leaning against the front of the couch, where my head was. We were yawning but neither of us wanted to call it a night. The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a large shadow whispering in my ear, "Cordy. Cordy, wake up."
"Ahhh!" I sit up straight on the couch. Below me, Xander's head lolls to the side.
"Oww!" he cries, holding his head.
I peer up at the solid being he hit. Angel is looking down at us. He's not looking amused.
Well, if he's not, neither am I.
"Dennis." I state, realizing that all the locks in the world will never keep this particular vampire out of my house.
"I knocked," Angel says defensively.
I stare at him suspiciously. He's carrying a bundle and if it's what, or should I say, who I think it is, he's deader than ever.
"Look who missed you." He holds out a sleepy-looking Connor.
Yep. Give me a stake now.
Angel sees the daggers in my eyes, "You can't fault me for being concerned."
"Of Xander?"
The devil's name that's spoken pipes up now, "Dead-boy's being over-protective, isn't he?" He quickly gets up when he sees the look on Angel's face.
I think Xander's afraid of getting stomped on by a 248 year old grouch of a vampire! Hey, it's not even morning!
When he sees Connor, Xander does a double-take. "Whoa, whose kid?" He looks at me questioningly.
Will people stop assuming already? I mean, I love being considered the little guy's mother, but as if! And I'm tired of explaining the whole thing. "He's mine," I tell him defensively.
Uh oh. Why did I say that?
And why is Angel looking at me like that? He should understand how tired I am of having to explain over and over and over...
Xander's mouth hangs open, "When was this?"
Angel answers for me, "Just three months ago."
Xander stares at my body. Could he be any more obvious? "But you look..."
"Great? Gorgeous? Never been better?" Geez, you'd think he'd jump in any time. "So I didn't actually carry him for nine months. And he's not, like, blood related. But I love him."
Okay, Xander's looking scared of me now. It's taken him over six years to get to this point. Is he ever slow. Well, I knew that too.
Angel picks it up from me. "Don't ever question a mother's love."
Xander looks at me, then him, then back at me again. "Father?" he croaks out.
Oh, if he was scared before...
Angel sighs and gives me a 'What can I say?' look.
"Oh." Xander says, in the way that only he could. "Uh, I think I need to make a phone call."
I wave towards my bedroom as I suppress a laugh, "I've got a phone in the bedroom." As soon as he disappears, I whirl around. "This is blackmail."
Angel feigns a look of innocence. "I don't know what you mean."
Of course I don't buy it. "Connor," I point out to him even as I take my precious baby out of his arms. "You're using Connor as blackmail."
He smirks, "And what would be my reason?"
"You want to know what Xander is doing here. I'm sure you heard about Xander leaving Anya at the alter. And if I know Fred, she's told you exactly how big and shiny that diamond ring was."
As the smile slides off Angel's face, I fight to urge to yell, 'Busted!'
"Then I guess you know Fred," he says sheepishly.
"I can handle myself, you know. My god, this is Xander!"
"I know you can handle yourself. It's just that he's your, uhm..."
"My uhm...? You're starting to sound like my uhm..." Oops, said that out loud, didn't I? That shut him up.
But only for a second.
"He hurt you once before. He betrayed you."
"So did you." Oh, the look that I caused.
Great, I'm feeling guilty. I should be happy he's coming out of his shell. Even if it's to harp on me.
But no! He can't just sail into MY apartment and pass HIS judgement on who I get to hang out with.
It's just that he always seems to be so overprotective of me and yet what right does he have? Even if he's old enough, he's not my father. He's not my brother. He's not my boyfriend and heaven knows he'll never be my husband. So, why should he be sounding so, so, not jealous. He can't be that.
Apprehensive. That's a good word to describe it. That must be it. It's his stupid conscience. That soul of his that makes him protect everyone within a 10 mile radius.
That thing of his that makes him so suffocating.
"I'm sorry," he says. And he sounds it. I cradle Connor in my arms, trying to forget this whole thing. Only, it's one too many. Too many signals that don't mean anything. Too overwhelming.
Suddenly, Xander comes back out, looking upset. "I have to go," he announces.
Just when we were becoming friends? "Why?" Well, I'm upset myself.
"Yes, why?" Doesn't Angel look a little too happy about this?
"I just talked to Willow. Anya left Sunnydale." Xander runs a hand through his hair.
"Where'd she go?"
"Las Vegas." Angel's brows rise with Xander's response. Xander grabs the bag by the door, "I've got to find her."
I lean back quietly, holding my lips to Connor's forehead. My mind's going with one thought. After three years being elbow-deep in demon gore, I'm due for a vacation.
"Okay, well, see ya. Don't let the door hit you. I mean, it's a real shame that you couldn't stay longer." Angel is practically gleeful. Hmm... Is 'gleeful' even a word? In any case, his reaction does it.
"What are you--?" Angel asks as I give Connor back to him.
"I'll miss you." I coo at my little guy. As I play with his tiny miraculous hands, I ignore his father.
Oh no, he's pouting. No fair. He's brooding now. Yes, and his father is too. Time to make the exit before I change my mind.
"Xander, wait." I call out as he heads out the door and Dennis starts slamming it behind him. He stops and the door pauses. "I need a vacation."
"Cordy." It's soft. It's devastating. I know better, but I look back at my vampire anyway.
Pictures of a hottie in a black trench coat could sell a million copies. Pictures of the hottie holding a baby would sell billions. And pictures of Angel and Connor. That's priceless. But I'm still suffocating in whatever it is that I've been slowly drowning myself in.
I repeat my own soft plea, "I need a vacation."
Angel's eyes say it all. He doesn't like it, but he won't stop me.
As I leave my own apartment with Xander, I glance back to see my door closing.
"You sure about this?" Xander asks me as we settle into his car. It's a rare moment of sensitivity from him. I'm starting to discover tonight that he's changed.
Well, so have I.
I nod. "Let's do this." I stare straight ahead, "Look out Vegas, here we come."
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters or the setting. But these stories are 100% mine. Seriously, please don't sue! I'm just a fan!
Chapter 3
(c) May 15, 2002
"Nice pad." Xander comments, as we walk into the door of my apartment. Dennis immediately turns on the lights.
"Thanks, Dennis." I say absentmindedly as he takes my coat from me.
"What the--?" Xander asks curiously. He's gaping at the coat floating into my bedroom.
"Oh, guess I forgot to introduce you to Dennis. He's my roommate." I gesture for Dennis to come back out, "Dennis, meet Xander."
Xander's still speechless. "Uh--"
"He's a ghost." I explain to him. A cool breeze whizzes past me. "Dennis, stop being rude," I scold. Dennis is a great phantom and all, but he has something against guys I bring into our home. "Sorry," I apologize to Xander, "It took him a while to get used to Wesley and Gunn when he first met them too. Hopefully he warms up to you faster than he did to Angel."
That did it. Dennis came back with a kitchen knife.
"No! Down, Dennis!" I'm exasperated as I grab at the handle. "He's not going to duel you the way Angel does. Besides, he could get hurt."
"Hey!" Xander exclaims. "I've gotten good at the whole saving the world thing."
I turn to him, considering stroking his ego. Then I remember what he did to Anya and let out a laugh. Okay, maybe it was for me too. Admittedly, it was a little malicious.
Well, I'm no Saint.
"Dennis, put down the knife." I say firmly. The knife floats back into the kitchen. Almost immediately, two foaming mugs of hot chocolate float out.
Xander is impressed. "Where did you find him?"
"Actually, he came with the house," I grin. "Cleanest roommate ever." I blow a kiss to Dennis. A cool wet breeze touches my cheek. "So," I say to Xander as I grab one of the mugs and flop down on my couch. "Spill the details."
Xander grabs for the other mug. Playfully, it sails out of his grasp. He tries a second time but it moves away from him again.
"Dennis..." I say warningly. Xander finally gets hold of his hot chocolate. Gingerly, he sits down.
"So, he likes Angel?" Xander is a little bitter.
I smirk. "Actually..."
Xander shakes his head and takes a sip. "It's good."
"I still don't know what you want me to help you with," I remind him.
Xander blows out his breath. "It's kind of a lot to ask-- uh..."
I roll my eyes, "Spit it out Xander."
"I need your forgiveness."
I raise my eyebrows. "You," I point at him. "came all this way to hear me," I point to my chest. "say 'I forgive you'?"
Xander shrugs and can't look at me.
"You got it." I say quickly.
Xander looks surprised, "You didn't even think about it."
"Yeah, well, when you've had the last three years that I've had..."
"What happened?" Xander frowns and leans forward in interest.
"Oh, not much. Just battled a few dozen demons and scummy lawyers, dealt with a few prophecies, acquired some visions, jumped into a demon dimension, nearly died a few hundred times, and became demonized." I tick off each item nonchalently.
Xander looks stunned. "Oh. Sorry." Suddenly, he jumps up, "Oh, man. I should have called. I shouldn't have come here."
I'm confused, "What did I say?"
"I didn't know how bad you had it."
I'm on my feet now, "Bad? I don't have it bad."
Xander backs up, "Okay, bad way of phrasing that." He winces.
I glare at him, "That's it."
Xander's eyes dart from side-to-side. The door is just too far for him to make a run for. There's no escape for him and he knows it.
I'm not letting him off that easy. "You're staying here until I know what you did to Anya."
Literally gulping, Xander sits back onto the couch. "I told you. I was a jerk."
I put my hands on my hips, "I want to know why."
He hangs his head, "What's to know? I didn't want to get married."
"You don't love her?"
"I do. I still do."
I'm confused, "But you don't want to marry her now?"
"Yes. No. I don't know."
"So, it's just cold feet." He's looking pretty nervous again. I can't help drilling into him. "What, can't handle a little commitment?"
Xander's looking pretty ashamed now, "I guess I can't."
I sigh. "You're not the only one."
Xander brightens up, "Story?"
"No." I tell him shortly. He doesn't pursue it. I'm feeling pretty forgiving again, "I think we need to catch up."
*** Four hours later ***
You know how it is when you get together with this really old friend that you haven't talked to for, like, ages? And from the moment you start talking, it's like you were never apart? Well, Xander and I were never like best buds. We were more likely to be making out than chatting.
But whaddya know? We're talking it up like the last four years of yesterdays never happened. I was lying on my couch, my head on a cushion. Xander was on the floor, leaning against the front of the couch, where my head was. We were yawning but neither of us wanted to call it a night. The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a large shadow whispering in my ear, "Cordy. Cordy, wake up."
"Ahhh!" I sit up straight on the couch. Below me, Xander's head lolls to the side.
"Oww!" he cries, holding his head.
I peer up at the solid being he hit. Angel is looking down at us. He's not looking amused.
Well, if he's not, neither am I.
"Dennis." I state, realizing that all the locks in the world will never keep this particular vampire out of my house.
"I knocked," Angel says defensively.
I stare at him suspiciously. He's carrying a bundle and if it's what, or should I say, who I think it is, he's deader than ever.
"Look who missed you." He holds out a sleepy-looking Connor.
Yep. Give me a stake now.
Angel sees the daggers in my eyes, "You can't fault me for being concerned."
"Of Xander?"
The devil's name that's spoken pipes up now, "Dead-boy's being over-protective, isn't he?" He quickly gets up when he sees the look on Angel's face.
I think Xander's afraid of getting stomped on by a 248 year old grouch of a vampire! Hey, it's not even morning!
When he sees Connor, Xander does a double-take. "Whoa, whose kid?" He looks at me questioningly.
Will people stop assuming already? I mean, I love being considered the little guy's mother, but as if! And I'm tired of explaining the whole thing. "He's mine," I tell him defensively.
Uh oh. Why did I say that?
And why is Angel looking at me like that? He should understand how tired I am of having to explain over and over and over...
Xander's mouth hangs open, "When was this?"
Angel answers for me, "Just three months ago."
Xander stares at my body. Could he be any more obvious? "But you look..."
"Great? Gorgeous? Never been better?" Geez, you'd think he'd jump in any time. "So I didn't actually carry him for nine months. And he's not, like, blood related. But I love him."
Okay, Xander's looking scared of me now. It's taken him over six years to get to this point. Is he ever slow. Well, I knew that too.
Angel picks it up from me. "Don't ever question a mother's love."
Xander looks at me, then him, then back at me again. "Father?" he croaks out.
Oh, if he was scared before...
Angel sighs and gives me a 'What can I say?' look.
"Oh." Xander says, in the way that only he could. "Uh, I think I need to make a phone call."
I wave towards my bedroom as I suppress a laugh, "I've got a phone in the bedroom." As soon as he disappears, I whirl around. "This is blackmail."
Angel feigns a look of innocence. "I don't know what you mean."
Of course I don't buy it. "Connor," I point out to him even as I take my precious baby out of his arms. "You're using Connor as blackmail."
He smirks, "And what would be my reason?"
"You want to know what Xander is doing here. I'm sure you heard about Xander leaving Anya at the alter. And if I know Fred, she's told you exactly how big and shiny that diamond ring was."
As the smile slides off Angel's face, I fight to urge to yell, 'Busted!'
"Then I guess you know Fred," he says sheepishly.
"I can handle myself, you know. My god, this is Xander!"
"I know you can handle yourself. It's just that he's your, uhm..."
"My uhm...? You're starting to sound like my uhm..." Oops, said that out loud, didn't I? That shut him up.
But only for a second.
"He hurt you once before. He betrayed you."
"So did you." Oh, the look that I caused.
Great, I'm feeling guilty. I should be happy he's coming out of his shell. Even if it's to harp on me.
But no! He can't just sail into MY apartment and pass HIS judgement on who I get to hang out with.
It's just that he always seems to be so overprotective of me and yet what right does he have? Even if he's old enough, he's not my father. He's not my brother. He's not my boyfriend and heaven knows he'll never be my husband. So, why should he be sounding so, so, not jealous. He can't be that.
Apprehensive. That's a good word to describe it. That must be it. It's his stupid conscience. That soul of his that makes him protect everyone within a 10 mile radius.
That thing of his that makes him so suffocating.
"I'm sorry," he says. And he sounds it. I cradle Connor in my arms, trying to forget this whole thing. Only, it's one too many. Too many signals that don't mean anything. Too overwhelming.
Suddenly, Xander comes back out, looking upset. "I have to go," he announces.
Just when we were becoming friends? "Why?" Well, I'm upset myself.
"Yes, why?" Doesn't Angel look a little too happy about this?
"I just talked to Willow. Anya left Sunnydale." Xander runs a hand through his hair.
"Where'd she go?"
"Las Vegas." Angel's brows rise with Xander's response. Xander grabs the bag by the door, "I've got to find her."
I lean back quietly, holding my lips to Connor's forehead. My mind's going with one thought. After three years being elbow-deep in demon gore, I'm due for a vacation.
"Okay, well, see ya. Don't let the door hit you. I mean, it's a real shame that you couldn't stay longer." Angel is practically gleeful. Hmm... Is 'gleeful' even a word? In any case, his reaction does it.
"What are you--?" Angel asks as I give Connor back to him.
"I'll miss you." I coo at my little guy. As I play with his tiny miraculous hands, I ignore his father.
Oh no, he's pouting. No fair. He's brooding now. Yes, and his father is too. Time to make the exit before I change my mind.
"Xander, wait." I call out as he heads out the door and Dennis starts slamming it behind him. He stops and the door pauses. "I need a vacation."
"Cordy." It's soft. It's devastating. I know better, but I look back at my vampire anyway.
Pictures of a hottie in a black trench coat could sell a million copies. Pictures of the hottie holding a baby would sell billions. And pictures of Angel and Connor. That's priceless. But I'm still suffocating in whatever it is that I've been slowly drowning myself in.
I repeat my own soft plea, "I need a vacation."
Angel's eyes say it all. He doesn't like it, but he won't stop me.
As I leave my own apartment with Xander, I glance back to see my door closing.
"You sure about this?" Xander asks me as we settle into his car. It's a rare moment of sensitivity from him. I'm starting to discover tonight that he's changed.
Well, so have I.
I nod. "Let's do this." I stare straight ahead, "Look out Vegas, here we come."